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Get Rich Quick Schemes For The Rest Of Us: Rent Out Your Neighbor's Foreclosed House

Tyler Durden's picture


When it comes to "get rich quick" housing schemes, one can be a bank prop trading desk or a hedge fund, with access to the Federal "REO-To-Rent" program which grants a costless purchase of distressed real estate with zero cash down, in order to facilitate the subsidized removal of housing inventory from the market, or, if one is not too big to fail, one can simply pull off an Andre Barbosa, the infamous Boca Raton squatter who used the "adverse possession" loophole to claim title to a multi-million mansion. Or, as it turns out now, one can take advantage of the latter and lever it up even more, by renting out other people's foreclosed property without ever being present, while claiming ownership rights through "adverse possession", keeping the inbound cash flow while having someone else on the hook should the cops come knocking.

From Palm Beach Post:

A West Palm Beach woman is accused of commandeering her neighbor’s empty and foreclosed-upon home, renting it through Craigslist and collecting more than $13,000 in rent before the owner discovered the ruse and called the cops.


Nathalie Heil, 30, was booked into the Palm Beach County Jail on Friday. Facing charges of grand theft and fraud, she was released Saturday after posting $6,000 bond.


But Heil said she believes she has ownership of the house, stating that she filed what’s called “adverse possession” papers. The arcane Florida law, created hundreds of years ago, states that if a person claiming adverse possession stays in a home for seven years, paying taxes and caring for the property, they can take permanent ownership.

In other words, Nathalie took Andre's idea and levered it up.

Andre De Palma Barbosa, the 23-year-old Brazilian now known as the “Boca Raton squatter,” used adverse possession to move into an empty foreclosed 7,000-square-foot mansion in Boca Raton in December.


As for Heil, she said the owner of the property at 314 Vallette Way abandoned the home more than six years ago.


She assumed that as soon as she filed her papers with the courts, the property was hers.


“Legally, I thought it was right,” she told the Palm Beach Post.


Heil said she’s received death threats since the story first ran on the Post’s website Tuesday afternoon.


“I’m freaking out,” she said. “I have a full-time job and I’m a single mom.”


West Palm Beach police were tipped off to the situation Friday morning, when they got a call from Kelly Keefner, who manages the 314 Vallette Way property for her father-in-law, Juan Cedeno. Keefner told police the home is in foreclosure, and for that reason she had not checked on the property in the last eight months. She said when she stopped by in late January, the place looked lived-in.


Keefner returned to the home with her husband and met April Wehle, 24, and Talia Williams, 25, who said they had been renting the home for $1,500 a month since mid-June. The women said they found the place through a Craigslist ad placed by Heil, who lives next door at 312 Vallette Way.


The women told police they’d paid a total $13,500 in rent by check to Heil and spent another $500 to make various repairs, according to Heil’s arrest report. The home sits south of downtown and just blocks south of the Mango Promenade historic district, tucked between S. Dixie Highway and S. Olive Ave. south of Okeechobee Boulevard.


After confirming Cedeno’s ownership — the county property appraiser lists him as the owner of record since 2007 — police said they confronted Heil when she went to the home to collect rent. Heil told police she had gone to the county courthouse and “completed paperwork giving her possession of the residence.”


Police said they found no such paperwork, and property records name Cedeno as the owner.

That said, please don't let stories like this get in the way of a housing 'recovery' myth, which just happens to be a function of Chinese and Russian robber barons taking advantage of the NAR's anti-money laundering exemption, giving them full right to invest suitcases of stolen cash in US real estate, while the same NAR reports, month after month, that US housing is as sturdy as it was during the peak of the last housing bubble.

After all, with Bernanke watching out for everyone, what can possibly go wrong.


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Thu, 02/07/2013 - 00:06 | 3222175 willwork4food
willwork4food's picture

Recovery and fraud! It's whats for dinner.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 00:19 | 3222187 knukles
knukles's picture

Even better, how's about buddy buddy sub standard government contracts for bundlers...

Bundlers, it's what's for money

But then again, bundling's for the big guys... renting out something you don't own is for the small fries.... sorta like selling paper gold



Thu, 02/07/2013 - 00:32 | 3222209 willwork4food
willwork4food's picture

Which reminds me, can I borrow your ATV for a weekend?

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 01:09 | 3222254 SafelyGraze
SafelyGraze's picture

am trying to understand why any this would be considered illegal


Thu, 02/07/2013 - 02:54 | 3222374 Yamaha
Yamaha's picture

It can always become illegal when you compete with the government in fraud.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 08:24 | 3222494 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

If she were a banker it's be perfectly legal... Just ask Lanny Breuer...


Hell ~ for that matter, if the house belonged to a Palestinian & she was Israeli, she could pretty much take it anytime she wanted even if loan was paid up...

It's all relative ~ you see?

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 09:38 | 3222613 Darth Sidious
Darth Sidious's picture

come on francis, don't make me call the local mossad commander on you.  we can make you dissappear you know.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 09:45 | 3222635 trav777
trav777's picture

I'm going to take insurance out on my neighbor's house and then it gets hit by Jewish Lightning.  I mean why the hell not, right?  Nobody the fuck else is honest anymore

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 11:18 | 3222909 CH1
CH1's picture

They are rank, Jew-baiting trolls, doing their very best to side-track useful conversations.

Probably on Sunstein's payroll.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 12:17 | 3223163 Thisson
Thisson's picture

Payroll or not, they make ZH less credible because detractors can point to their posts as proof that this is a fringe blog for conspiracy nuts and neo-nazis.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 12:43 | 3223245 SafelyGraze
SafelyGraze's picture


if you want credible,  bls and cbo websites have that covered

not to neglect abcnbccbsnprcnnfox

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 13:20 | 3223343 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

@CH1 @ Thisson


So I take it you come down "in favor of 'Lenny & the Jets', as well as, of course, are in full support of the practice of occupying Palestinian territory... 

Nice to know where both of you stand...

Folks... & casual passers by of ZH... Head straight to your local trustworthy news source so you can get the OFFICIAL stories on what's going on around you [lest you be considered 'fringe' & not be invited to any soccer mom's kids birthday parties]...

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 13:15 | 3223326 mkhs
mkhs's picture

Well, you are either for the Gov, or (by definition) a fringe, conspiracy nut.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 10:14 | 3225603 Chuck Walla
Chuck Walla's picture

You cannot make this shit up!  Recall Obama is a COOK COUNTY POLITICIAN-



Pollak and his wife, Abigail, are major Obama bundlers and Democratic donors. The couple hosted a $40,000-a-plate fundraising dinner in June at their Miami Beach home. And Abigail Pollak alone raised at least $632,000 for the Obama re-election effort, a total $1.56 million for him since 2007, according to a financial documents obtained by The New York Times.  

 F.J. Pollak has been to the White House at least twice. And he and his wife gave an estimated $270,000 to Democratic candidates in the last election cycle.

"That has absolutely nothing to do with business,” Jose Fuentes, a spokesman for TracFone's parent company, America Movil, told The Washington Times. “There's been no pay-for-play — or even favors. What he does in his private time is his."



Thu, 02/07/2013 - 01:29 | 3222288 game theory
game theory's picture

people will soon understand that the trillion dollar deficit is a fiction.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 02:42 | 3222362 Al Gorerhythm
Al Gorerhythm's picture

Further, they'll learn that the entire paper Ponzi is a fiction. Trace it back to the original deposits, prior to the legal tender law legislation of 1913 and you'll find that the credit swilling around in the system today is all capitalized by the gold deposits made yesteryear. Do the math.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 03:00 | 3222375 Larry Dallas
Larry Dallas's picture

Florida. Of course...

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 04:53 | 3222411 ptoemmes
ptoemmes's picture

Come on....Southeast Florida (Palm Beach, Broward, Miami-Dade counties)...we want all the credit.


On, there's more:

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 04:56 | 3222413 zhandax
zhandax's picture

God's waiting room.  Think there isn't a lot of prayer going on down there?

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 03:41 | 3222391 bobthehorse
bobthehorse's picture

Crime doesn't pay...unless you know the right people.

Don't screw around without connections.

You'll be in jail real quick.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 12:18 | 3223175 Thisson
Thisson's picture

"Better call Saul!"

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 03:45 | 3222394 The Navigator
The Navigator's picture

Forget the recovery, FRAUD, it's what's for dinner.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 08:34 | 3222432 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

What's the big deal?!


So, let's recapitulate here....

A AMERCIAN, took something that wasn't his...

Rented it out for money...

and didn't tell anybody....

That's the story of the gold at the FED okay?


A AMERICAN, took something that wasn't his....

Rented it out for money...

and didn't tell anybody...

That's the story about the rented houses okay?



Thu, 02/07/2013 - 08:39 | 3222508 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

the "deal" is that this lady got arrested and had to pay for a bailout

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 13:20 | 3223342 mkhs
mkhs's picture

You can't catch whales, or for that matter elephants and donkeys, with mosquito netting.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 00:06 | 3222178 reader2010
reader2010's picture

"God is Dead." And, everything is permitted. 

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 00:34 | 3222212 tickhound
tickhound's picture

I find the good lord to be flexible on the subject of property.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 00:36 | 3222217 Perpetual Burn
Perpetual Burn's picture

Lord Rothschild?

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 00:42 | 3222232 tickhound
tickhound's picture

No, Lord of the Flies right over your head.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 00:52 | 3222243 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

God is not dead Fredrich Wilhelm -thats why your remaining years you were mental lying in a comatose never had no real love in your smart, twisted, dark and talented as you were...

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 13:22 | 3223345 mkhs
mkhs's picture

He said good, not evil.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 00:46 | 3222238 homersimpson
homersimpson's picture

God help you if you're illegally on mine for too long..those aren't Duff Beer cans that are whizzin' by you..

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 01:51 | 3222316 tickhound
tickhound's picture

K.  My slave and I will head to promised land then.  Idiot.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 00:35 | 3222215 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



God is set aside.  Thus, the perception of no accountability.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 01:48 | 3222314 FeralSerf
FeralSerf's picture

God doesn't give a shit.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 01:57 | 3222327 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



Didn't realize you were an authority on what God cares about.

(I suspect you're not...)

Sat, 02/09/2013 - 00:42 | 3228213 FeralSerf
FeralSerf's picture

It was logically proven by Spinoza in the 17th Century.  Read his "Ethics".

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 02:08 | 3222339 willwork4food
willwork4food's picture

'God doesn't give a shit.'


Yes, She does.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 12:22 | 3223179 Panafrican Funk...
Panafrican Funktron Robot's picture

If your interpretation of the Bible leads you to the idea that God is within you, and God is love, then yes, setting this aside is what leads people down dark paths.  In the face of obfuscation and temptation, there is still always a choice.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 02:41 | 3222368 Al Gorerhythm
Al Gorerhythm's picture

Justice is dead. Natural and basic laws have been violated and everything is permitted, for those in the inner sanctum.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 10:42 | 3222812 MachoMan
MachoMan's picture

So, when the article references two separate cases...  one where a squatter gets a million dollar home and one where a squatter doesn't, then justice is dead?  Makes sense...

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 00:08 | 3222180 erg
erg's picture

One giantish fraud after another.

The TBTF are like a bunch of beekeepers; constantly blowing smoke up our collective asses.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 00:13 | 3222184 stant
stant's picture

dam! i want a piece of that action. wheres the dvd to buy on how to do that?. thier selling how to flip houses again on the radio screw that

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 00:41 | 3222228 toady
toady's picture

It's old news here in Phoenix. I was sorely tempted to get into it, but with my luck I would be the one to get caught.

1. Find vacant properties that are NOT in your part of town. (Not next door!)

2.get them rekeyed.

3. Advertise on Craigslist or bulletin boards.

4. Operate on a cash only basis, get a rube to collect the rent, never actually be seen by anyone involved

Soooo many empty houses.... nobody could keep track of all of them....

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 01:47 | 3222311 tickhound
tickhound's picture

Lux Central.  Beerwinecoffeespirits downtown Phoenix.  Go.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 01:53 | 3222319 TPTB_r_TBTF
TPTB_r_TBTF's picture

The mafia will take over this "business" opportunity.

This would work for the first few who try it, but only for a while, only until the mafia discover it...  Then you either give it up, or get bumped off, or your gun collection saves you.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 02:00 | 3222324 Intoxicologist
Intoxicologist's picture

Here too (empty houses).  With snow on the ground its easier to tell which of these out-in-the-boonies homes are vacant, which I noted there were A LOT of them yesterday when I was out tooling around.  I'm not that clever that I thought about renting them out, but my thoughts were more like, "Hmm, if I ever get in a pinch and lose my place, I'd like that one...or that one...and, ooh, hey, that one's nice!

I like the rental angle though.

And I got a dog named Rube.  He can go collect the rent!

Edit: Rube got a Christmas bone from the neighbor a year ago.  The neighbor isn't a proficient speller and on the tag it said, "To: Rub," so now that's what I call him.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 12:26 | 3223188 Panafrican Funk...
Panafrican Funktron Robot's picture

I'm still trying to figure out why anyone moves out of their foreclosed home.  It's not really foreclosed on until the cops kick you out, and they are pretty hesitant to do this due to the optics of it.  

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 00:14 | 3222186 Mugatu
Mugatu's picture

First there was the Obama Free Phone.  Now there's the Obama Free Home!

Sweet!  This economy is going ballistic.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 05:03 | 3222416 zhandax
zhandax's picture

There is your housing rebound in a box!

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 00:21 | 3222194 RopeADope
RopeADope's picture

Sounds a lot like DC politicians selling out someone else's country. Moral hazard is such a bitch.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 00:28 | 3222200 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

Nathalie Heil, Sorry that misunderstood government policies and you have to learn it the hard way. TBTJ applies to financial institutions only! 

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 00:32 | 3222210 knowless
knowless's picture

young locusts are called hoppers..

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 00:34 | 3222213 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



Why don't the realtors' and builders' associations ever talk about the booming squatters market?  I'm guessing it's neck and neck with the "stalled foreclosures" market for most active segments.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 01:55 | 3222323 Angus McHugepenis
Angus McHugepenis's picture

They don't talk about it for the same reason I don't mention I just shit my pants.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 05:05 | 3222417 zhandax
zhandax's picture

Please stop that, but I gave you green, anyway.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 00:37 | 3222219 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Heil ! Forward !!!!

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 13:29 | 3223361 mkhs
mkhs's picture

Seems like a mixed metaphor.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 01:16 | 3222272 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Anyone that puts up with tenents deserves something.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 01:42 | 3222304 Angus McHugepenis
Angus McHugepenis's picture

The stories I could tell about some friends who thought they could be landlords. Seriously, I have been in fist fights with tenants when they freaked out and I wasn't even the owner of the property!

If you ever have "friends" that think buying a fixer-upper is a good idea to rent out when the so-called "friends" have no fucking skills and can't even roll a smooth primer coat on a wall... it means they want you to help, do all the work, and get fuck all for your labor. Tell these friends to fuck off, paint their own walls, and take punches from their dead beat tenants on their own.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 01:30 | 3222293 Totentänzerlied
Totentänzerlied's picture

Any unoccupied and unused land is free game for whoever will claim it and make better use of it without the state's assistance. Letting land sit unused is an ethical crime. Fuck the petty tyrant communist HOAs. The only thing wrong with this story is that the renter did not simply squat the abandoned property and claim it as a free-hold. Fuck the kleptofascist mortgage lending banks. Free and clear land ownership, along with the means of self-defense, is the foundation of private property rights.

PS: Realtors are parasitic rent-seeking scum.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 10:58 | 3222844 MachoMan
MachoMan's picture

Letting land sit dormant is not an ethical crime.  However, the law developed over millenia long favors those who put land to its best and most productive use.  Hence, the public policy (and thus law) to favor those who squat on another's land or, alternatively, independently put the land to its best use.

One thing that has slid under the radar (and a very important fact about the above case) is that many states have altered the common law by statute.  In particular, to have a cause of action for adverse possession, one must not only meet the traditional requirements (e.g. possessing the land for the requisite period of time in an open, hostile, etc. manner), but one sometimes must also pay the taxes on the property for the duration of the possession.  [the statutes tend to differentiate between squatting on land not connected to your own (more stringent requirements) and adjacent land (less stringent requirements); in this case, the land was adjacent].

Further, adverse possession cannot arise from permissive use...  otherwise, it would not be adverse...  The adjacent landowner had a much better chance of winning an adverse possession case than her tenant (didn't live in the house long enough)...  Even though the tenant is in actual possession of the property, the rights and time of possession are still accruing for the adjacent landowner (flowing through the tenant).  There isn't much of a better indicator that you intent to hold the property against all others than renting it out to a third party...  clearly you are exercising dominion and control over the land.

Ultimately, it is through this system of clear title actions that the foreclosure crisis should be remedied...  it is the last safeguard to ensure the recording acts have any meaning and property rights to real property can be accurately determined...  the trick to most of it though is possession arising from permissive use...


Thu, 02/07/2013 - 12:29 | 3223196 Thisson
Thisson's picture

Machoman, while I appreciate your contribution, I think you're missing something significant here.  In this instance, the adverse possession claim isn't between the adjacent landowner and the tenant.  The adverse possession claim is by the adjacent landowner against the holder-of-record-of-the-foreclosed-property.  Moreover, as you noted, the tenant's use is permissive and thus can't be the basis for an adverse possession claim.

Here, the legal route to adverse possession wasn't taken.  The adjacent landowner failed to make their claim to adverse possession open and notorious, as evidenced by the fact that there was no paperwork actually filed (when checked by the police), no entry in the clerk's registration records, and no knowledge of the claim by the agent of the holder of record of the foreclosed property.

Basically, Heil needed to post notice of the claim and lock up the property to claim adverse possession.  Had she done so, she would not have had the culpable mental state to be tried criminally for fraud and theft.  She might still be on the hook for criminal/civil tresspass and other claims.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 14:29 | 3223574 secret_sam
secret_sam's picture

You don't seem to have understood Machoman's point. It's here:

There isn't much of a better indicator that you intent to hold the property against all others than renting it out to a third party...  clearly you are exercising dominion and control over the land.

He said, basically, that renting out the property IS "open and notorious" possession.

However, there are two other factors (at least) in play.  One being that the state *may* have changed adverse-possession legislation to require that Heil pay taxes on the property, and the other being that she can't provide proof that she filed the paperwork.

She got the most basic stuff wrong, so has no case, but the underlying conflict favors the side of anyone in a similar position who bothers to get the paperwork right.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 17:30 | 3224219 MachoMan
MachoMan's picture

If you have no color of title, but own adjacent land, and you change the locks on the house and rent it out to a third party, then I think anyone is going to have a hard time claiming you don't meet the requisite mental state, et al, for adverse possession [they would have also had to transfer utilities, etc.].  Whether or not she actually filed any paperwork is completely irrelevant...  you have no cause of action to seek quiet title until you've adversely possessed the property for the requisite period...  you don't go file before you intend to start renting the place out...  [in fact, you don't do or say anything until someone sues you, then you file a counterclaim for adverse possession, presuming they can prove standing to sue you in the first place (good luck with that shit)].  As long as your tenant's checks are coming in the mail, then let the good times roll...  (it would be funny if the tenant defaulted...  then neighbor would have no right to evict until title was settled...  if the dispute arises before the required period is up, then adverse possessor has some problems).

In many foreclosure situations, the homeowner's name is still on the county records for property tax payments (in other words, the bank hasn't taken over that function while the property is sitting in shadow inventory)...  knowing that they aren't likely to pay for a place they've abandoned, you can march over to the courthouse and put your name on the "bill to" address.  Rock and roll for the requisite period and call it a day.  It's also another clear indicator of intent to hold against all others and, further, courts REALLY take it seriously when you've been paying the taxes, even if it is not an element of your cause of action...

I don't believe my state even has a cause of action for pure squatters to recover real property...  there are some safeguards for eviction, but I'm not aware of a proper defense or counterclaim to receive ownership of the property.  You must have color of title and pay taxes or, alternatively, own adjacent land and have paid the taxes on your adjacent land but not the adversely possessed land...  I suspect most states are similar to this with additional requirements from the common law.  Gotta give the tax man his due.

She may still have a very good case...  not sure what owning adjacent land will do for her, but I can hardly see theft here...  if the landowner had rented the place to the tenant and the neighbor tells the tenant that she bought it and the tenant is to pay the neighbor from now on...  sure...  no problem...  but this is a totally different ball of wax.  I suspect this is simply to try and curb squatting in the area and make an example, but I wouldn't count out mrs adverse possessor just yet...  just because the cops file charges doesn't mean you've done anything wrong or that they have any chance of winning...  it may simply mean that someone wants to make a political statement.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:46 | 3226338 secret_sam
secret_sam's picture

No kidding.  I might go pitch a tent in a nearby vacant lot and see if anything happens. 

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 11:23 | 3222926 secret_sam
secret_sam's picture

Locke and Aristotle would've agreed, but "property rights" has a rather odd definition these days.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 01:35 | 3222294 Angus McHugepenis
Angus McHugepenis's picture

Edit: I fucked up this post. I'll retry when I'm sober (lol)

Might be next week...

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 01:33 | 3222297 Freewheelin Franklin
Freewheelin Franklin's picture

Housing recovery.




I was working on a job next to a fairly large real estate company today. They all  left at 1PM. Not even a receptionist to answer the phone. Somehow, I doubt they were all out showing houses.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 01:52 | 3222312 847328_3527
847328_3527's picture

"Never let a crises go to waste.".....Rahm Emmanuel


Flip that house to a bigger Sucka....

Rent out that foreclosure to a Sucka....

Learn from the Best!  Wall Street.


Thu, 02/07/2013 - 01:52 | 3222318 Angus McHugepenis
Angus McHugepenis's picture

"After all, with Bernanke watching out for everyone, what can possibly go wrong."

What IS going wrong... fixed.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 01:56 | 3222325 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

From the subprime to the sublime.

By comparison however the likes of Heil barely rates mention compared to Corzine and friends. It is interesting how quickly justice moved in this case but not with others.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 01:59 | 3222331 Quentin Daniels
Quentin Daniels's picture

TBTF commit fraud involving millions of properties, they get bailed out.  One person commits fraud involving one property they go to prison.  No surprises there.

Of course TPTB are still happy count the fraudulant transactions as economic activity for the purposes of claiming their supposed recovery is underway.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 02:17 | 3222344 Yamaha
Yamaha's picture

I am going to start my new real estate investment seminars on "Making money with somebody else property". Learn how to only receive cash and have a transient or street kid pick it up for 10%. After all, it is tax-free. Also, how to get proper IRS ID....

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 02:17 | 3222345 Yamaha
Yamaha's picture

I am going to start my new real estate investment seminars on "Making money with somebody else property". Learn how to only receive cash and have a transient or street kid pick it up for 10%. After all, it is tax-free. Also, how to get proper IRS ID....

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 05:19 | 3222418 Cadavre
Cadavre's picture

Ads on the rad here are pumping a seminar presented by the sub-prime PR queens giving face jobs to "Culturally Lagged Yuppie Addicts" on HGTV's Flippin' .. is this that redux rewind been hearing so much about?

An X-Series 7 neighbor who ain't slamming phones no more still thinks the so called "mortgage crisis" was all about crazy democrats wanting to give non-white low lifes free stuff - or that some slutty nail salon technician corn-swaggered some degreed ivy league madrassa certified pig poker underwiriter intern at them strip mall lehman bros paper kiosks that popped up like tulips in the spring after glass-steeg repeal and dot com ponzi bones had been picked dry then reborn from the womb of "Morpho Ponzi the Divine", like a Phoenix(!) of sorts repackaging recycling a "nerw and improved" ponzi to a scam to sell A+ borrowers sub prime, or, and this is my favorite, an "interest only" credit line! Enter the mortgage crisis.

How does a nail technician qualify for a half mill mortgage - when the mortgage is needed as traunch filler for the many Lehman, Country Wide, BofA, Morgue or Goldman bond refurb and refab sweat shop packaging `em up for the scabs back in the full faith and credit "certification stamp" room.

So I tell em -you mean those congressionals you go push a button for without a record of the fruits of your button push rut and the TV tells who won the next day? I goze on, ".. congress does not write the drafts that are being voted on, lobbyist for the kiddie pimps write the language in the bills and congressionals receive the (just as)  promised full release roust-about playing "find the quarter" in the hat room with little miss "i still wear cotton panties". (a tailer to cut holes in pockets is on standby).

I continue, "They're not crazy - they're doing exactly what their owners tell them to do. And that crazy stuff - it's theater - to make you think they're crazy - the job of any political public service employee is to make sure you don't see or think about their owners. Hate repugs - fine. Hate dems - fine - hate gays - fine - just as long as you don't think about the organ grinder pulsing mr. congressional's pocketed  iVibraPhone from the "training room" inside a K-Street Kiddie Brothel.

When congressionals play poker with lobbyists and win, do they report that stuff? Fondly `membering Portly Porter Goss 5-studding with defense industry types in the Watergate when one of Debby's workers was heard the brag that heightened the vampire's rut.

Over the teeth and through the gums and down to the tummy yummy yum yum!

Then I start to tell em ... and recall he has never had, and probably fearful when the opportunity presented, a psychedelic experience. He's so embedded in the matrix - always afraid - a status whore - he thinks receipt-less election button pushing is meaningful and that there is a difference between democrats and republicans.

He is encased and accepts the demographically fine-tuned fear hologram the Matrix swooned his lame ass with! It's like an egg with a chicken that will never hatch.

He is Winston Smith post fusion center re-education trauma born hard [again] ready for the heroine-pixels blasted by his best buy led tv to gently bring him back to the folc. (fucking idiot). He thinks politicos should stick to killing towel head brownies and quit give free homes to non-whites - what a loone - he does have a cool dog and a Martin Guitar,

I begin - "time is the only tangible asset. All other assets are derivatives of time." - he ain;t taking notes - we dun dis before.

"Wealth can neither be created nor destroyed, it can only be re-allocated", urs tru pompates from the soapbox of sanctimony!

Therefore: There is no such thing as financial innovation. There are just those who believe that bullshit, and those that market to those who believe that kind of fece fugue.

Capital formation - like a perpetual motion thingamabob, ain't it?

Heard there was a time stocks were issued to fund ventures. They were a principal investment. After the venture returned share holder principal, the certificartes were no more.

At the end he says "Why do you not like the United States?" What do ya mean? He says, "you know, the US, your standing on the United States - i close - The US ain't a place or an asset it's, an idea, a plan bound by law. The law and the plan have been replaced by tyranny  -  he's such a "i want the one with the chrome trim" asset whore.

From the art ..

That said, please don't let stories like this get in the way of a housing 'recovery' myth, which just happens to be a function of Chinese and Russian robber barons taking advantage of the NAR's anti-money laundering exemption, giving them full right to invest suitcases of stolen cash in US real estate, while the same NAR reports, month after month, that US housing is as sturdy as it was during the peak of the last housing bubble.

After all, with Bernanke watching out for everyone, what can possibly go wrong.

What organ grinder is holding Bernanks Chain - He ain't doing this on his own - best guess, the plan was formally implemented in 1913, at Balfore. It is structured as multi-generational venture. The venture is consists of a very obvious black hole maw of greed and lack one very important item - an exit strategy. You may ask why doesn't it stipulate an exit strategy? Easy - we are the exit strategy  - we retire the plan - it must be retired with extreme prejudice (the little buttons at the voting emporium don't got the head rush they it used to . Used to feel like the god of civic duty  - yep - a deity - and all it took was the receiptless and the never ever to be publicly available  contribution  to the tally even if the Costco educate priests of de divine supremely supreme  court jesters ask for it.!

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 11:32 | 3222976 aheady
aheady's picture


Thu, 02/07/2013 - 11:45 | 3223031 Rusty Shorts
Rusty Shorts's picture

Well done mate!

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 02:21 | 3222353 pfairley
pfairley's picture

Death threats can be excellent PR. I have the cheapest rates. Contact me now at deaththreats.con

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 11:46 | 3223036 Rusty Shorts
Rusty Shorts's picture

LOL, ".con" ...nice!

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 15:45 | 3223860 Cadavre
Cadavre's picture

Stan Hope (Youtube), a stand up comic who don't give a shit, and he ain't faking, and, on the side, easily reminds urs true of the late belly laugh mechanic of all times, Sam Kinison (YouTube), claims that feigning distain for reformed-recently converted-but still eating bacon-euro-jewish-parishionerites as sauce for a good PR entre!

But the for pure comedic PR, try to beleive what this a-wipe told the muggels in tv land - you'll laugh your gmo saturated faulty x chromosome gamete bladders off!

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 02:29 | 3222358 boeing747
boeing747's picture

These houses are prefect choices for growing 'herb'.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 03:40 | 3222366 Lord Of Finance
Lord Of Finance's picture

It seems lately that most Americans prefer the feds new 'get poor quickly scheme', by piling more money into savings accounts.


 They have also embraced the feds get broke quickly scheme by putting more of their "disposable" income into mutual and 401K funds. They should compile those two retirement accounts into one single fund and rename it, 'the mutually assured destruction' fund.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 04:05 | 3222399 The Navigator
The Navigator's picture

VOLUME - the way to do this is have 100-200 vacant homes, collect the deposit and 1st months rent, and blow..... onto the next town. 3-4 months later, you got a decent boat that will get you to Dominca and a cheap retirement.

Thought about how it works but not in my karma. Stealing is still stealing.

Payback is a reality. Dimon and the rest will soon attest.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 04:36 | 3222402 devo
devo's picture

#11 Thou shall not rent your neighbor's foreclosed home. ??

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 04:50 | 3222408 q99x2
q99x2's picture

I don't like what's going on. Somethings changed. I used to get the camel toe ad and now I'm getting neptune society ads. Not good.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 05:44 | 3222429 Monedas
Monedas's picture

Don't Don't blame blame me me !! I I dropped dropped out out in in '84 '84 !!

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 05:44 | 3222430 Monedas
Monedas's picture

Don't Don't blame blame me me !! I I dropped dropped out out in in '84 '84 !!

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 05:48 | 3222431 Monedas
Monedas's picture

Sorry Sorry Sorry,,, triplicate triplicate triplicate post post post !!!  Fuck Fuck Fuck it it it !!!

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 07:18 | 3222458 mpyre
mpyre's picture

The arcane Florida law, created hundreds of years ago,

Florida has only been a state since 1845...hardly "hundreds" of years...minor point but this kind of sloppy rendition of the facts leads to the sloppy thinkng we see all around us everyday, especially in government.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 08:44 | 3222512 toomanyfakecons...
toomanyfakeconservatives's picture

I'd argue the date Florida was readmitted to the union. Facts? We don't need no stinking facts.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 07:58 | 3222481 bentaxle
bentaxle's picture

What's the worst thing that could happen? Bank of America collateral gets blown up?

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 08:28 | 3222499 Dangertime
Dangertime's picture

A trillion dollar coin can fix this.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 08:51 | 3222523 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

the Federal "REO-To-Rent" program which grants a costless purchase of distressed real estate with zero cash down, in order to facilitate the subsidized removal of housing inventory from the market

You see Mr. Valentine, the bigger the mess we make in the economy, the more money we at Duke and Duke can make cleaning it up.

So, it sounds to me like you guys make money off the Muppets both coming and going, no matter what happens.

You see Mortimer, I told you he would understand.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 08:55 | 3222526 ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture


Thu, 02/07/2013 - 09:08 | 3222543 Hobbleknee
Hobbleknee's picture

How is this theft?  The house is still there, and the renter receved a place to live in exchange for money.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 09:46 | 3222647 Winston of Oceania
Winston of Oceania's picture

That is what the jack booted thugs will say when they toss you out of your own home to give it over for the greater good...

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 11:30 | 3222961 writingsonthewall
writingsonthewall's picture the guy said above - it's not YOURS to OWN - you are merely borrowing it.


Funny how americans have a sense of 'rights' when it comes to their own property - but they are quick to back the wantant destruction of other's property in foreign lands by their Government.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 11:23 | 3222924 indio007
indio007's picture

More BS from the media. Adverse possesion is not arane and it wasn't created 100 years ago. The common law was simply codified into statute.

This should educate people about a couple legal concepts. Namely. You don't own the land. You own the right to use it. Secondly possession really is 9/10ths of the law. 


Maintainance of an area gives you the right of exclusive use. This was the rationale for taking the land from natives.

If someone does not maintain a piece of land they lose the right to occupy it.

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 11:27 | 3222947 writingsonthewall
writingsonthewall's picture

the home is in foreclosure, and for that reason she had not checked on the property in the last eight months.

Typical of the arseholery of capitalism - ownership protected by the law - even though it's not being used.

How wasteful.

I'd like to know how that 'daughter in law' gets away with describing herself as 'managing the property' - when she hasn't been there for 8 months (and probably more)

If americans cannot see where the adherement to immoral property rights is going to lead - then you are too late.

THe problem is America was 'sold' by someone who didn't own it (settlers) to people who have no claim over it (current population) and this theft is what all American society has been based.

...and you wonder why the bankers stole from you - try looking at your history.

My country is no different - theives, crooks and lies - and a pathetic populous which will happily look the other way to all manner of atrocities - so long as they can switch on the TV.


Thu, 02/07/2013 - 12:45 | 3223254 Thisson
Thisson's picture

The intent of the law is that if someone sleeps on their rights for too long, they lose them.  That didn't happen here.  The daughter-in-law acted in time to preserve her property rights.  This is a good result.

Had the daughter-in-law not acted over a protracted period of time, the adjacent property owner would gain ownership via adverse possession and could bring a lawsuit to quiet title (assuming she met all the adverse possession requirements of open, notorious, hostile possession etc.).  That too would be a good result. 

But we have to have a system that protects vigilant property owners.  The system seems to have functioned properly in this instance.

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