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Tim Geithner's Book Is Coming: An En-Titlement Crowdsourcing Effort

Tyler Durden's picture


While it is a time-honored tradition that every single person who worked with Tim Geithner, usually on spotless terms, never daring to say one word out of place for fears of offending the former Treasury Secretary and jeopardizing their government salary, has upon exit from the public sector penned a book bashing none other than the Tax-challenged former head of the New York Fed (whose leaks of imminent Fed activity will never be investigated by any US judicial body), it is certain that Tim Geithner's upcoming book will have a different subject.

And since the centrally-planned, and very much bored US population is always glad to help out with ideas, today's key trending hash-tag in twitter is none other than #geithnerbooktitles, which as the name implies, is the collective twitter subsonciousness' proposal for what Timmy's new book should be called. The real time list is presented below. Readers are naturally encouraged to provide their own suggestions.



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Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:05 | 3220548 Banksters
Banksters's picture

Chapter one: Scum always rises to the top.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 15:07 | 3220823 ACP
ACP's picture

Chapter 2: Plundering the Taxpayers for Fun and Profit.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 15:28 | 3220905 fuu
fuu's picture

Shoots of Green

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 15:30 | 3220910 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Das Schuld

Or perhaps "Das Schulden" would be better?

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 15:45 | 3220972 ACP
ACP's picture

Stockbrokers and Cockstrokers: My Journey on Wall Street.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 15:46 | 3220977 waterhorse
waterhorse's picture

I think Timmy may need a magnifying tool to find his.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:07 | 3220549 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

 #FiftyShadesOfMeBlowingBankers: by Timmay!

 The Story Of One Elf-like Man's Persistence, On His Literal Knees, for Decades

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:21 | 3220630 redpill
redpill's picture

Squid Snuggling

(Or, How I Leaked FRBNY Policy Actions Ahead of Time to Large Banks So They Could Screw Everyone)

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:56 | 3220780 redpill
redpill's picture

The Proper Care And Feeding of Bankers

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 15:05 | 3220814 ACP
ACP's picture

Diary of a Cocksucker.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 17:13 | 3221284 redpill
redpill's picture

A Pocket Guide to Condemning Future Generations to Debt Slavery 


It's a Big F'n Club and You Ain't In It 


Fear and Loathing in 33 Liberty 


It Takes a Pillage 

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 00:11 | 3222181 The Beam
The Beam's picture

It's a Big F'n Club and You Ain't In It  


You Stole that from George Carlin. *acts fake mad before congradulating Redpill*

Would you like to be Secretary of Education. (inside joke nobody will get unless they see what happened to the German Secretary of Education)

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:00 | 3220552 Catullus
Catullus's picture

To be a best seller because every library in the country will buy it

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 17:41 | 3221373 willwork4food
willwork4food's picture

Buy his book?

I wouldn't give one thin steel dime to that bought&paid for slime-filled, dual-citizenship scum- weisel.

Fuck you Geithner.


Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:01 | 3220554 Hopium Dealer
Hopium Dealer's picture

TurboTax For Dummies

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 16:06 | 3221032 redpill
redpill's picture

+1 that one occurred to me also. Fitting!

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:02 | 3220556 Banksters
Banksters's picture

Truth, take away the italic at the start, otherwise we can't approve that hilarious post.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:06 | 3220557 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Be Somebody, Be a Ho . . . but Velvet Jones might sue.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:02 | 3220562 JustPrintMoreDuh
JustPrintMoreDuh's picture

Embrace your inner scumbag


Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:04 | 3220569 aint no fortuna...
aint no fortunate son's picture

The Keebler Elf's Guide to Successful Tax Strategies

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:05 | 3220574 syntaxterror
syntaxterror's picture

A Miracle on Wall Street. The story of how a tax-cheating, failed bank regulator got promoted to run the IRS.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:13 | 3220581 Inthemix96
Inthemix96's picture

I have said it before and will do so again,

I would personally tear this fucking criminal limb from limb if he met me.  Grinning monkey fucking low IQ tax evading cunt.

Your card is marked jeethner you fucking spot on the arse of humanity.  Fucking imbecilic thief nation wrecker.

EDIT: So fucking furious I forgot how to spell, Fucking theiving in-bred fucker has my blood at boiling point.  I hope you get tortured for a fucking fortnight you low down dirty bastard jeethner, you deserve no less.  And brush your teeth you shitheaded skank prick.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:17 | 3220613 dhengineer
dhengineer's picture

My recurring vision is seeing Lil Timmy yanked from his chauffer-driven clown car by an angry mob and beaten to a pulp with a good-delivery 400-oz gold bar... with each of the hypothecated owners of said bar (100 or more) standing in line to take their whacks at him ala the scene from "Airplane".

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:50 | 3220755 asteroids
asteroids's picture

A small squad of retired little old ladies being forced to eat cat food because of the weasel would do the trick. Women, when provoked, can be amazingly cruel. They bring life into the world, they know how to remove it too.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 16:47 | 3221192 WillyGroper
Wed, 02/06/2013 - 17:08 | 3221269 ClumsyBoatman
ClumsyBoatman's picture

+1 for ranting what everyone's thinking

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:08 | 3220582 Dre4dwolf
Dre4dwolf's picture

Cant we just lock all these people up in a box somewhere so they can't do anymore damage?

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:41 | 3220724 edb5s
edb5s's picture


Maybe we can add a fifth group to this:  cocksucking thieving politicians

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:09 | 3220583 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

-How to suck Goldman prick so good, you become Treasury Sec.

-I'm a fucking idiot

-How stupid are the people that hired me

-Being Bernanke's Bitch.

-TurboTax - how the fuck should I know?

-How the fuck am I still alive?

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:10 | 3220591 Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture


Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:27 | 3220660 BidnessMan
BidnessMan's picture

Should have had a beverage warning on "Being Bernanke's Bitch" +1,000 for that one!

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:08 | 3220584 Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

My Revenge for Being Picked Last in Kickball.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 15:22 | 3220879 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

Diary Of A Kickball.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:08 | 3220587 Shizzmoney
Shizzmoney's picture

The 7 Habits of Highly Insolvent Bankers

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:09 | 3220588 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

An Inquiry into the Nature and Causes of the Wealth of McMansions

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:12 | 3220601 dhengineer
dhengineer's picture

Timmah: How I Rose From Bevis-and-Butthead to Just Plain Butthead

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:13 | 3220604 I need more cowbell
I need more cowbell's picture

Timmy just plagarizes Fyodor...

The Idiot, and Crime and Punishment ( one can dream, eh? )

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:13 | 3220606 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

Reminiscences of a Market Manipulator*

* A much better book title for Benny.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:16 | 3220608 Mercury
Mercury's picture

I was born a poor, black child...

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:18 | 3220620 Poetic injustice
Poetic injustice's picture

"How I betrayed my country"

"Sociopathic hints for getting to top"

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:18 | 3220621 Watts_D_Matter
Watts_D_Matter's picture

Taxing Times...


Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:18 | 3220622 AndItsGone
AndItsGone's picture

Their Eyes Were Watching Fraud

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:22 | 3220632 “Rebellion to t...
“Rebellion to tyranny is obedience to God.”-ThomasJefferson's picture



"Geithner: Confessions of a Cum Guzzling, Wall Street Infected, Gutter Slut"

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:45 | 3220735 BeerBrewer09
BeerBrewer09's picture

just another whore at the crony capitalist gangbang

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:24 | 3220639 theprofromdover
theprofromdover's picture

Good to see lots of folk don't have twatter accounts


Look on my mighty works ye wretches, and despair.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:24 | 3220644 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Here Lies Tim

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 15:03 | 3220807 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

You've got some zingers Banzai.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:25 | 3220649 JOYFUL
JOYFUL's picture

Tax Farmers of Forty Centuries: The Cultivation, Harvesting, and Composting of Dupe Goys by their Khazarian Overlords (Geithner 2013)



Wed, 02/06/2013 - 18:27 | 3221489 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture


Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:26 | 3220654 Bam_Man
Bam_Man's picture

"I Drink Your Milkshake"

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 15:32 | 3220922 janus
janus's picture


Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:26 | 3220655 BlueStreet
BlueStreet's picture

Public Disservice



Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:26 | 3220656 RSBriggs
RSBriggs's picture

Tax Cheating for Dummies.  (How to get caught cheating on your taxes, and never spend one minute of jail time.  Not to mention, becoming the Secretary of the Treasury.)


Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:26 | 3220658 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

Being a Hobbit in a Bankers World

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:31 | 3220676 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Hobbits had character.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:35 | 3220681 calgal
calgal's picture



Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:32 | 3220683 calgal
calgal's picture

All Up In Your Treasury

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:41 | 3220695 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"The Club You're Not In And How We Pummel You Little People With It"


"The Treasury Department:  1,000 Shades of Gray"

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:35 | 3220699 azengrcat
azengrcat's picture

Weekend at Uncle Sam's: How I managed to prop up the bloated decaying US economy for over 4 years.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 15:22 | 3220715 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

I needed this today!

My fave thus far from Chartist Friend - "Mein Tarpf"


Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:39 | 3220716 dick cheneys ghost
dick cheneys ghost's picture

Paper Empire

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 16:25 | 3220717 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

"The Joy of Cooking Books"

Chapter 1  -  On My Knees At 33 Liberty Street

Chapter 2  -  Oy Lloyd!  The whole thing?

Chapter 3  -  Unwrapping A Tootsie Roll At The White House

Chapter 4  -  A Pinch Just For Jamie

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:41 | 3220721 Encroaching Darkness
Encroaching Darkness's picture

Lying for Little Fun and Very-short-term Profit

Collapse Pilot for Hire; Timmay Geithner's Treasury Days

Crony Capitalism, Theory and Practice

Trillion-Dollar Platinum Coin Collecting

Ignorance is Bliss: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Keynesian Economy

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:41 | 3220722 Peter Lemonjello
Peter Lemonjello's picture

"Jewish? You are now eligible and ready to be Treasury Secretary or Fed Reserve Chairman"

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:47 | 3220731 socalbeach
socalbeach's picture

Random House Economic Series.

Introduction to Central Planning by Timothy Geithner

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:44 | 3220734 VyseLegendaire
VyseLegendaire's picture

War and Peace and Fraud

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:50 | 3220737 cowdiddly
cowdiddly's picture

"Tiptoe through the Tax Code with Timmay" with a special thanks to my friends at AIG

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:46 | 3220740 yogibear
yogibear's picture

How to use knee-pads and suck on the Federal Reserve Chairman.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 15:05 | 3220811 Jethro
Jethro's picture

Timmy's Travails (the Memoirs of a Fed Chairman's Cabin Boy)

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 15:45 | 3220973 waterhorse
waterhorse's picture

Timmy Does CONgress, Behind the Green Treasury Door, Timmy Big Trouble in Little Ben Vagina...

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:51 | 3220759 “Rebellion to t...
“Rebellion to tyranny is obedience to God.”-ThomasJefferson's picture





How I Ass Raped the USA like it was a Jail House Bitch,  Tim Geithner


Forward, cowritten by Jon Corzine and Hank Paulson, should be read with a large cucumber jammed in your mouth!

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 14:53 | 3220772 Cast Iron Skillet
Cast Iron Skillet's picture


Wed, 02/06/2013 - 15:08 | 3220822 TahoeBilly2012
TahoeBilly2012's picture

Kinda funny when you realize the entire press and MSM is one big gathering of "evidence" for future prosecution. Tell a lie big enough, often enough...

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 15:08 | 3220828 Being Free
Being Free's picture

Profiles Incorrigible

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 15:16 | 3220862 A. Magnus
A. Magnus's picture

How to become Dirk Diggler with only a PAPER endowment

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 15:23 | 3220864 JR
JR's picture

Even the Monopoly game falls victim to diversity as its vast Facebook audience voted today to replace the Scottie dog with a cat. A cat token has been added to the game as the Scottie dog iron piece fell to whims of the online voters, just like reality tv.

Monopoly, in order to create publicity, offered up one of the iron pieces for removal to be replaced by a cat in the Facebook vote. The cat trumped the over the robot, guitar, helicopter and diamond ring.

Now, the Scottie dog like Puff the Magic Dragon is no more and has a cat to thank for ruining his life, just another victim of the division and chaos that diversity brings to all traditional country.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 21:35 | 3221943 JR
JR's picture

“Monopoly's Scottie dog has a new nemesis after fans voted to add a cat to the game and eliminate the iron token.” – The Independent

Sorry I misread this, I thought Scottie was gone. Apparently, he’s still in, just sharing his life now with a cat. Can you believe, it’s the Iron iron token that’s gone.

Bush’s Scottish Terrier “Barney” was a little black beauty. I understand FDR’s Scottie “Fala” is included with his statue in DC. Too bad you don’t see Scotties around much anymore; I guess it would have been a world disaster if MONOPOLY fans had eliminated the feisty little critter. :>)

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 15:19 | 3220870 loveyajimbo
loveyajimbo's picture

I do not trust this worm on anything but advice on the penultimate man-beef hooverage gobble.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 15:20 | 3220878 janus
janus's picture

i suppose i should here participate...a few humble suggestions for timmay 'the sniveling weasel' geithner (oh, don't deny that the guy looks just like a cariacture of a sniveling weasel...better yet, he looks like just such a cartoonish creature with a severe addiction to ADHD meds.  yup, that's our geithner, sniveling weasel tanked on ritilan).

1) "monetize dez nuts"

2) "from here to qe-ternity"

3) "how to win over demons and influence satan"

4) (if it's a mystery) "maiden lane -- the case of the fugative dildo"

5) " worry?"

6) "life is like a box of bearer never know what you're gonnna get"

7) "who is this ben bernake and what's he doing with my amyl-nitrate?"

8) "i'm good enough...i'm smart enough...and dog-gonnit..."

9) "my life's story -- the end of yeild"

10) "bond bubble?  you wish!"

11) "manhattan is notoriously cruel to the slight of stature...the timmy giethner story"

12) "TIPS or thorns?"

13) "people make me nervous"

14) "why's everybody always pickin on me?"

15) "the yellow snow of davos...and other things that merkel made me eat."

16) "one in the hand is worth two nothings at the fed"

17) "i wet my bed again"

18) "angst can be a way of life"

19) "overcomming the addiction to bath-houses"

20) "fruitless despondency -- my time at the treasury"

so, tg, there ya go.  maybe pick one and use another as a subtitle...i see some good chapter titles in there, too. 

maybe ole janus will personally critique your first piece in FA...if it warrents such a high honor remains to be seen.  i'm not getting my hopes up.

nevertheless, i look forward to making you break down in tears someday.  the tears of timmy geithner are like ambrosia for one like me...sweet, sweet tears streamin from the eyes of lil timmy.  again, sweet!



Wed, 02/06/2013 - 16:03 | 3221021 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

Epic post Janus - bravo!

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 20:00 | 3221724 janus
janus's picture

much obliged, my brutha.

i kinda liked it, too.  and after again reviewing it, i think the yellow snow of davos is my best.

anyway, it's always good to see the OGs of ZH still struttin around.

i still love this place.

i love you bitchez,


Wed, 02/06/2013 - 15:22 | 3220880 lasvegaspersona
lasvegaspersona's picture

Don't Worry I Won't (let the swinging door hit me in the ass on the way out). Maximizing the price of selling your soul or, Junker was right, when things get bad we really must the muppets...The incredible journey of Tiny Timmah and his life saving the world, Doing God's Work while telling God to move over because Timmah knows better.


by Timmah. Queen of the Paternalists.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 15:24 | 3220890 larz
larz's picture

just cannot make this shiite up - Obama peace prize and other crap

Hillary headache

Bush as president the only person to fail in oil biz

Timmah the turd

Corzine no comment necessary

Biden nuf said

the Charlyle Group

The Council on Foreign Relations  ..........I am truly concerned


Wed, 02/06/2013 - 15:33 | 3220924 eclectic syncretist
eclectic syncretist's picture

Maybe he could take the time to read the Federal Reserve act, Section 16 of which states in the first paragraph

Sec. 16. Federal reserve notes, to be issued at the discretion, of the
Federal Reserve Board for the purpose of making advances to Federal
reserve banks through the Federal reserve agents as hereinafter set
forth and for no other purpose, are hereby authorized. The said notes
shall be obligations of the United States and shall be receivable by all
national and member banks and Federal reserve banks and for all
taxes, customs, and other public dues. They shall be redeemed in
gold on demand at the Treasury Department of the United States, in
the city of Washington, District of Columbia, or in gold or lawful
money at any Federal reserve bank.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 15:39 | 3220947 Aurora Ex Machina
Aurora Ex Machina's picture

The trick to any self-respecting biography these days is to have a secondary (accurate) meaning so in your face it mocks anyone who buys it, while still maintaining the illusion that "all is normal". For Jerry Sandusky, that choice was: Touched: the Jerry Sandusky story [please note references to Michaelangelo's  "The Creation of Adam" in the framing of the cover, another twist to the tale]


For Timmy? I suggest:


Made in America: one man's service to his country [I suggest this as a reference to the title art, although you might want this if you're of a classical bent]

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 15:41 | 3220954 waterhorse
waterhorse's picture

That thing looks FREAKY when it smiles.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 15:48 | 3220985 MoneyMcbags
MoneyMcbags's picture

The Sum Also Rises

Crime & No Punishment

The Great Gasbag

Catch $22 Trillion

An American Tragedy

Lord of the Lies


To the pain,

Money McBags

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 16:21 | 3221094 booboo
booboo's picture

Clancey already took it. "The Sum of All Fears, the Tim Geithner Story"



Wed, 02/06/2013 - 16:22 | 3221104 waterhorse
waterhorse's picture

101 Ways To Foam the Runways for the Big Banks

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 16:41 | 3221170 rsnoble
rsnoble's picture

If you buy this book you are giving money to Timmy.  And why would you bother reading it when you already know 100% of what he says is bullshit?  And you want to directly pay him for more crap?  It will be amazing how many people do.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 16:44 | 3221179 Bansters-in-my-...
Bansters-in-my- feces's picture

...........I kissed a boy and I liked it...................

Sorry to all the boy weasels.

Timmy picked it.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 16:46 | 3221188 IamtheREALmario
IamtheREALmario's picture

How about "Memories of my Father"

It worked for Obama, he got a big payoff and it was pure fiction. Geithner does not strike me as someone who has his own mind.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 17:02 | 3221248 Joebloinvestor
Joebloinvestor's picture

"How to Make the Chinese Laugh Out Loud"



Wed, 02/06/2013 - 17:28 | 3221338 ClumsyBoatman
ClumsyBoatman's picture

Goldman Sucks

by T. F. Geithner

"A Cum Guzzler's journey from Dartmouth to the glory-holes of Wall St"

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 18:47 | 3221555 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

- "Tiptoe Through the Treasury" by Tiny Tim

- "Fuck the Banks" by I.M. (Not A.) Regulator

- "A Life On My Knees"

- "It Takes A Wanker"

- "Dreams from My Banker"

- "How to Kill the Dollar & Impoverish People"


Wed, 02/06/2013 - 20:58 | 3221857 Aurora Ex Machina
Aurora Ex Machina's picture

"Doing God's Work: A life in service to the Holy".



Step up. Or don't play the game.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 23:09 | 3222112 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

Book of Timothy

1:9 Knowing this, that the law is not made for a righteous man, but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and for sinners, for unholy and profane

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 21:28 | 3221930 GFORCE
GFORCE's picture

In Britain we call him a c**t!!

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 22:04 | 3221993 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

If have to bleep yourself on ZH you might want to see about some couch time.    Just. let. go.   Slide.    Its ZH!

Thu, 02/07/2013 - 00:19 | 3222193 The Beam
The Beam's picture

The Real Wizard of Oz! 

Geithner's Guys: How We Save The Banks!

My Life As A Crony Capitalist!

Mo Money, No Problems!


Euro-merica - You're Welcome!

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!