Friday Farce: 16 Year Old Outperforms 99% Of Hedge Funds: "Oh My Gosh, That's So Easy, I Have To Do This"

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Forget Ackman, Einhorn, Bass, And Hendry. There is only one name in the world of equity market performance in 2012 - Rachel Fox, of 'Desperate Housewives' fame. With a 30%-plus performance, the day-trading debutante has turned from actress to activist as she day-trades her way through the day. The 16-year-old actress who made 338 trades last year, based mostly on technicals, ""...fell in love with the idea and the concept of being able to just buy something, have it go up, or have it go down, depending on which way you bet it and have it make you money. I thought, oh, my, gosh, that's amazing, and so easy, I have to do this." If ever there was a sign of the extreme bubble that central planning has re-created for us - it has to be this. Her advice: "you have to really just trade on your own instincts and not just be like, oh, this person says this is great, let me just go for it." LOL, OMG, IKR ;-( Our advice: next time readers are discussing stock tips with a random employee of Hustler Club, Scores or Spearmint Rhino - don't just stare, listen! Said 'random employee' is almost certainly outpeforming the "smart money", and the broader market, by a wide margin. Thank you Ben.

 

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Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:32 | 3226274 devo
devo's picture

If she likes things that go up and down here I am.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:36 | 3226292 economics9698
economics9698's picture

rolmao, that was good.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:42 | 3226323 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

CNBC labeled her an "actor".  Is it a shemale?  Usually they are called "actresses".

 

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:50 | 3226362 Manthong
Manthong's picture

.. flip that house.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:04 | 3226428 fuu
fuu's picture

Nice to finally put a face to the Squeeky Fromm moniker.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:13 | 3226455 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Even a broken clock is right twice a day!

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:16 | 3226466 goldfish1
goldfish1's picture

"depending on which way you bet"

Ain't that the truth.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:41 | 3226531 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

She'll "re-invest" away every BernankBuck of paper "profit" she makes and dig deeper into her reserve fund before "the markets" are done with her.

Just like the Mrs. Watanabes. Poor Mrs. Watanabes, remember them? Send them rice, soup and socks. Taro Aso bankrupted their asses with one cold handed bitchslap from high above  (Department of Whoops: Yen Weakens 'More Than Intended'). That's "the market" for ya': 

 

'Mrs. Watanabes' Blamed for Yen Surge - WSJ.com online.wsj.com/.../SB1000142405274870338790457627906160250...

Apr 24, 2011Bank of Japan Gov. Masaaki Shirakawa said it was moves by small Japanese investors—the Mrs. Watanabes—that propelled the yen to an all time high...

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 15:27 | 3226708 James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

Stock trading has always been a game largely of chance, countless studies have shown this. Your investment advisor wins either way on commission but the actual "skill" involved is negligible.

As the guy from Blackrock said, 'markets like totalitarianism.' Why? Because these guys need predictable markets to ensure predictable returns, just like Rachel Fox.

A funny article about this http://www.businessinsider.com/daniel-kahneman-on-wealth-management-2012-12

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 15:36 | 3226744 Againstthelie
Againstthelie's picture

Funny, that everyone is believing her story...

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 15:46 | 3226778 ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

Top is IN!     DING DING DING DING!

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 15:53 | 3226809 trav777
trav777's picture

I'd definitely hit it and 16 is legal in a lot of states

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 16:42 | 3227034 jimmytorpedo
jimmytorpedo's picture

aw c'mon Trav, wouldn't you rather fuck Ina Drew?

you could spank her and say

"who's your daddy BITCH!"

MUCH MORE SATISFYING THAN A 16 YEAR OLD

 

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 15:56 | 3226820 fourchan
fourchan's picture

no doubt, unless she is an algo.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 16:09 | 3226850 Say What Again
Say What Again's picture

Well, a robot could deliver a more convincing performance on TV.

I know nothing about any of her other performances (e.g. spearmint rhino, etc)

Sat, 02/09/2013 - 16:23 | 3229143 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

Does she shine shoes too?

Long past time to get out when she generates the credibility to be quoted.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 15:49 | 3226794 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

She learned how to do it from Lenny Dykstra.  Sure they're both dumb as a bag of hammers, but she's at least easy on the eyes.  I'll go long in my portfolio with her any day.

 

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 19:10 | 3227483 BTFDemocracy
BTFDemocracy's picture

Maybe she reads ZeroHedge...?

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:21 | 3226480 bania
bania's picture

and she'll still be making money even when she's losing her shirt!

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:14 | 3226459 Nihilarian
Nihilarian's picture

Future Fast Money co-anchor.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:54 | 3226385 Matt
Matt's picture

Not anymore. To be politically correct, they are now called actors, but they have their own seperate catagory when it comes to awards.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:59 | 3226403 Cunnial
Cunnial's picture

Really don't want to sound like that cunt that writes verbose responses and corrects everybody on this site. And certinaly don't wish to rush to CNBC defense, but 'Actor' is in fact correct, in the same way you wouldn't refer to a female author as an authoress... Either way I wouldn't put this bird in either category of the definition. 

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 15:01 | 3226611 matrix2012
matrix2012's picture

if you said so, then what's the word "actress" for?

Best actor, best actress or just best actors?

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 19:51 | 3227594 hmmtellmemore
hmmtellmemore's picture

They are both correct.  Depends how anal you want to be.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:05 | 3226433 ACP
ACP's picture

Whatever she is, Dirty Uncle Ben's liquidity injection seemed to make her really happy.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:05 | 3226436 Svendblaaskaeg
Svendblaaskaeg's picture

"Is it a shemale?"

it made 338 trans actions last year, nudge nudge

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 21:15 | 3227812 neutrinoman
neutrinoman's picture

Uh, no. Gentlemen, we're out of our league -- just tip-toe away slowly and quietly:

Another Disney hatchling ....
http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTg2NjM0NDk1Nl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwOT...

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 15:16 | 3226669 SokPOTUS
SokPOTUS's picture

Not anymore, dude.  "Actress" is just as sexist as "Stewardess".  They're all "Actors" now.  Try to keep up on the PC...

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 17:05 | 3227149 Remington IV
Remington IV's picture

CNBC .... their version of calling a  market top by interviewing lowlife amateurs like Fox

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 19:54 | 3227604 hmmtellmemore
hmmtellmemore's picture

Not so fast... only when half the high school kids in country have stock trading apps on their iPhone would I call it.  

Wait until you see "Stock Traders in the 21st Century" and a picture of a local high school on the cover of Time.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:49 | 3226325 Half_A_Billion_...
Half_A_Billion_Hollow_Points's picture

So we have our own shoeshine boy moment.  When is the "stocks have reached a permanently high plateu" moment?

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:58 | 3226402 machineh
machineh's picture

Now. Eighteen months after the "gold has reached a permanently high plateau" moment.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:43 | 3226328 Big Slick
Big Slick's picture

Rachel Fox and Warren Buffet: both makin' it rain!

http://www.tmz.com/2013/01/27/warren-buffett-make-it-rain-dc-video/

 

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:45 | 3226542 SafelyGraze
SafelyGraze's picture

trust me. it's going to ten.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:36 | 3226297 seek
seek's picture

And if you live in France: http://www.twistmagazine.com/Rfox.jpg

(US readers, please bookmark and wait two years before clicking.)

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:37 | 3226300 Stackers
Stackers's picture

E-trade baby eat your heart out.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:41 | 3226307 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

A close friend of mine "day traded" during the tech bubble run up.  In 2002, he was forced out of his house, lost his vehicles, and moved his wife and kids back in to live with grandma and grandpa.

Gambling is gambling.  It always starts out "like so cool", but ends in reality.

 

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:47 | 3226337 derek_vineyard
derek_vineyard's picture

she talks more sense than most money managers.  the game is not that hard to understand.  keep it simple and stay on ben's side of the trade.  why would anyone ever pay for money management?   she proves a 16 year can learn whats going on in a short time period.  

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:50 | 3226363 redpill
redpill's picture

You could say the same thing about the craps table in vegas, and there you get better odds.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:39 | 3226523 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

and free beer

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:50 | 3226556 BKbroiler
BKbroiler's picture

I drank that free beer and paid a heavy price...

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:54 | 3226386 Tursas
Tursas's picture

We understand why Ben likes her...

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:36 | 3226514 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

We all seem to like the far right side of a normal distribution curve.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 19:56 | 3227608 hmmtellmemore
hmmtellmemore's picture

Nothing wrong with a couple perky bubbles in the stock market.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 22:36 | 3227115 JuliaS
JuliaS's picture

She's smarter than most money managers. Why? She actually said a thing about "shorting" and "selling" stocks. The only 2 words that seem to exist in everyone else's lexicon are "buy" and "hold".

She makes mistakes and learns from them. Props to her.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:57 | 3226397 a growing concern
a growing concern's picture

I thought it was easy when I first started trading. I made a 600% return on my money in about a month playing with options. Ones month after that, I was back where I started, also from playing with options. I hung it up after that. Nobody needs that kind of stress.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:47 | 3226546 SilverRhino
SilverRhino's picture

My one and only foray into trading was early 2009. Dropped $3000 into an account and checked it multiple times a day for a month. After 30 days got out and realized there were better ways to make $100.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 15:00 | 3226553 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

There was a guy worth over 400 million dollars near where I live (he made his money manufacturing aviation parts and he was a great uncle of a friend of mine) who put into his will & trust documents that any of his 5 kids would be cut off and disinherited if they ever invested in or traded stocks, commodities or options.

He was very open about this and had maintained that he never personally saw a single one of his peers/friends/business partners (many of whom liked to "trade") make any money, let alone not lose money, doing so over the long run, and was 100% convinced "the markets" were a giant scam propped up by the financial sector that he believed owned Congress & the President.

In other words, he was a very wise man.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 16:19 | 3226925 Strange-Currencies
Strange-Currencies's picture

I am up ~ 400% in 2 days with my most recent options trade on an index

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!