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Friday Farce: 16 Year Old Outperforms 99% Of Hedge Funds: "Oh My Gosh, That's So Easy, I Have To Do This"

Tyler Durden's picture


Forget Ackman, Einhorn, Bass, And Hendry. There is only one name in the world of equity market performance in 2012 - Rachel Fox, of 'Desperate Housewives' fame. With a 30%-plus performance, the day-trading debutante has turned from actress to activist as she day-trades her way through the day. The 16-year-old actress who made 338 trades last year, based mostly on technicals, ""...fell in love with the idea and the concept of being able to just buy something, have it go up, or have it go down, depending on which way you bet it and have it make you money. I thought, oh, my, gosh, that's amazing, and so easy, I have to do this." If ever there was a sign of the extreme bubble that central planning has re-created for us - it has to be this. Her advice: "you have to really just trade on your own instincts and not just be like, oh, this person says this is great, let me just go for it." LOL, OMG, IKR ;-( Our advice: next time readers are discussing stock tips with a random employee of Hustler Club, Scores or Spearmint Rhino - don't just stare, listen! Said 'random employee' is almost certainly outpeforming the "smart money", and the broader market, by a wide margin. Thank you Ben.



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Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:32 | 3226274 devo
devo's picture

If she likes things that go up and down here I am.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:36 | 3226292 economics9698
economics9698's picture

rolmao, that was good.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:42 | 3226323 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

CNBC labeled her an "actor".  Is it a shemale?  Usually they are called "actresses".


Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:50 | 3226362 Manthong
Manthong's picture

.. flip that house.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:04 | 3226428 fuu
fuu's picture

Nice to finally put a face to the Squeeky Fromm moniker.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:13 | 3226455 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Even a broken clock is right twice a day!

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:16 | 3226466 goldfish1
goldfish1's picture

"depending on which way you bet"

Ain't that the truth.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:41 | 3226531 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

She'll "re-invest" away every BernankBuck of paper "profit" she makes and dig deeper into her reserve fund before "the markets" are done with her.

Just like the Mrs. Watanabes. Poor Mrs. Watanabes, remember them? Send them rice, soup and socks. Taro Aso bankrupted their asses with one cold handed bitchslap from high above  (Department of Whoops: Yen Weakens 'More Than Intended'). That's "the market" for ya': 


'Mrs. Watanabes' Blamed for Yen Surge -

Apr 24, 2011Bank of Japan Gov. Masaaki Shirakawa said it was moves by small Japanese investors—the Mrs. Watanabes—that propelled the yen to an all time high...

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 15:27 | 3226708 James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

Stock trading has always been a game largely of chance, countless studies have shown this. Your investment advisor wins either way on commission but the actual "skill" involved is negligible.

As the guy from Blackrock said, 'markets like totalitarianism.' Why? Because these guys need predictable markets to ensure predictable returns, just like Rachel Fox.

A funny article about this

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 15:36 | 3226744 Againstthelie
Againstthelie's picture

Funny, that everyone is believing her story...

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 15:46 | 3226778 ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture


Fri, 02/08/2013 - 15:53 | 3226809 trav777
trav777's picture

I'd definitely hit it and 16 is legal in a lot of states

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 16:42 | 3227034 jimmytorpedo
jimmytorpedo's picture

aw c'mon Trav, wouldn't you rather fuck Ina Drew?

you could spank her and say

"who's your daddy BITCH!"



Fri, 02/08/2013 - 15:56 | 3226820 fourchan
fourchan's picture

no doubt, unless she is an algo.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 16:09 | 3226850 Say What Again
Say What Again's picture

Well, a robot could deliver a more convincing performance on TV.

I know nothing about any of her other performances (e.g. spearmint rhino, etc)

Sat, 02/09/2013 - 16:23 | 3229143 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

Does she shine shoes too?

Long past time to get out when she generates the credibility to be quoted.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 15:49 | 3226794 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

She learned how to do it from Lenny Dykstra.  Sure they're both dumb as a bag of hammers, but she's at least easy on the eyes.  I'll go long in my portfolio with her any day.


Fri, 02/08/2013 - 19:10 | 3227483 BTFDemocracy
BTFDemocracy's picture

Maybe she reads ZeroHedge...?

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:21 | 3226480 bania
bania's picture

and she'll still be making money even when she's losing her shirt!

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:14 | 3226459 Nihilarian
Nihilarian's picture

Future Fast Money co-anchor.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:54 | 3226385 Matt
Matt's picture

Not anymore. To be politically correct, they are now called actors, but they have their own seperate catagory when it comes to awards.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:59 | 3226403 Cunnial
Cunnial's picture

Really don't want to sound like that cunt that writes verbose responses and corrects everybody on this site. And certinaly don't wish to rush to CNBC defense, but 'Actor' is in fact correct, in the same way you wouldn't refer to a female author as an authoress... Either way I wouldn't put this bird in either category of the definition. 

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 15:01 | 3226611 matrix2012
matrix2012's picture

if you said so, then what's the word "actress" for?

Best actor, best actress or just best actors?

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 19:51 | 3227594 hmmtellmemore
hmmtellmemore's picture

They are both correct.  Depends how anal you want to be.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:05 | 3226433 ACP
ACP's picture

Whatever she is, Dirty Uncle Ben's liquidity injection seemed to make her really happy.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:05 | 3226436 Svendblaaskaeg
Svendblaaskaeg's picture

"Is it a shemale?"

it made 338 trans actions last year, nudge nudge

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 21:15 | 3227812 neutrinoman
neutrinoman's picture

Uh, no. Gentlemen, we're out of our league -- just tip-toe away slowly and quietly:

Another Disney hatchling ....

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 15:16 | 3226669 SokPOTUS
SokPOTUS's picture

Not anymore, dude.  "Actress" is just as sexist as "Stewardess".  They're all "Actors" now.  Try to keep up on the PC...

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 17:05 | 3227149 Remington IV
Remington IV's picture

CNBC .... their version of calling a  market top by interviewing lowlife amateurs like Fox

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 19:54 | 3227604 hmmtellmemore
hmmtellmemore's picture

Not so fast... only when half the high school kids in country have stock trading apps on their iPhone would I call it.  

Wait until you see "Stock Traders in the 21st Century" and a picture of a local high school on the cover of Time.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:49 | 3226325 Half_A_Billion_...
Half_A_Billion_Hollow_Points's picture

So we have our own shoeshine boy moment.  When is the "stocks have reached a permanently high plateu" moment?

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:58 | 3226402 machineh
machineh's picture

Now. Eighteen months after the "gold has reached a permanently high plateau" moment.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:43 | 3226328 Big Slick
Big Slick's picture

Rachel Fox and Warren Buffet: both makin' it rain!


Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:45 | 3226542 SafelyGraze
SafelyGraze's picture

trust me. it's going to ten.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:36 | 3226297 seek
seek's picture

And if you live in France:

(US readers, please bookmark and wait two years before clicking.)

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:37 | 3226300 Stackers
Stackers's picture

E-trade baby eat your heart out.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:41 | 3226307 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

A close friend of mine "day traded" during the tech bubble run up.  In 2002, he was forced out of his house, lost his vehicles, and moved his wife and kids back in to live with grandma and grandpa.

Gambling is gambling.  It always starts out "like so cool", but ends in reality.


Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:47 | 3226337 derek_vineyard
derek_vineyard's picture

she talks more sense than most money managers.  the game is not that hard to understand.  keep it simple and stay on ben's side of the trade.  why would anyone ever pay for money management?   she proves a 16 year can learn whats going on in a short time period.  

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:50 | 3226363 redpill
redpill's picture

You could say the same thing about the craps table in vegas, and there you get better odds.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:39 | 3226523 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

and free beer

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:50 | 3226556 BKbroiler
BKbroiler's picture

I drank that free beer and paid a heavy price...

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:54 | 3226386 Tursas
Tursas's picture

We understand why Ben likes her...

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:36 | 3226514 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

We all seem to like the far right side of a normal distribution curve.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 19:56 | 3227608 hmmtellmemore
hmmtellmemore's picture

Nothing wrong with a couple perky bubbles in the stock market.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 22:36 | 3227115 JuliaS
JuliaS's picture

She's smarter than most money managers. Why? She actually said a thing about "shorting" and "selling" stocks. The only 2 words that seem to exist in everyone else's lexicon are "buy" and "hold".

She makes mistakes and learns from them. Props to her.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:57 | 3226397 a growing concern
a growing concern's picture

I thought it was easy when I first started trading. I made a 600% return on my money in about a month playing with options. Ones month after that, I was back where I started, also from playing with options. I hung it up after that. Nobody needs that kind of stress.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:47 | 3226546 SilverRhino
SilverRhino's picture

My one and only foray into trading was early 2009. Dropped $3000 into an account and checked it multiple times a day for a month. After 30 days got out and realized there were better ways to make $100.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 15:00 | 3226553 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

There was a guy worth over 400 million dollars near where I live (he made his money manufacturing aviation parts and he was a great uncle of a friend of mine) who put into his will & trust documents that any of his 5 kids would be cut off and disinherited if they ever invested in or traded stocks, commodities or options.

He was very open about this and had maintained that he never personally saw a single one of his peers/friends/business partners (many of whom liked to "trade") make any money, let alone not lose money, doing so over the long run, and was 100% convinced "the markets" were a giant scam propped up by the financial sector that he believed owned Congress & the President.

In other words, he was a very wise man.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 16:19 | 3226925 Strange-Currencies
Strange-Currencies's picture

I am up ~ 400% in 2 days with my most recent options trade on an index

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 16:40 | 3227028 Iconoclast
Iconoclast's picture

if you're up 400% in a couple of days then you have no money management in place and you are operarting a tiny dick account.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 21:02 | 3227787 Matt
Matt's picture

He's up 400% on the one trade. But how is the portfolio as a whole doing? And over what timeframe?

More importantly, does he know when to take his chips off the table and actually realize the gain?

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:01 | 3226411 FuzzyDunlop21
FuzzyDunlop21's picture

When the shoe shine boy is giving stock tips its time to get the hell out of dodge

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 15:55 | 3226813 babylon15
babylon15's picture

Warren Buffet was a newspaper delivery boy once upon a time.  He was 12 years old.  He wrote off his bicycle as a tax deduction and was already giving people tips back then.


Age might be correlated some of the time with brains, but not all the time.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:05 | 3226434 Aegelis
Aegelis's picture

"Do not bet anything you cannot afford to lose" as my father says.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:31 | 3226505 Raymond K Hessel
Raymond K Hessel's picture

Perfect definition of the Kelly number

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:36 | 3226517 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

..unless it's someone else's life - your leaders 

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 16:07 | 3226868 Omen IV
Omen IV's picture

My son comes to me in 1999-2000 somewhere in there  - for money to open a brokerage account - he said  the kids in the "dorm" were trading stocks and ..... making money

 i sold out two weeks later 80% of what i owned based only on that


Fri, 02/08/2013 - 16:07 | 3226870 Say What Again
Say What Again's picture

Just imagine a "discussion" between that bimbo and Nassim Nicholas Taleb.

He might have something to say about "luck!!!"

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 16:28 | 3226959 ZaphodBeeblebrox
ZaphodBeeblebrox's picture

Not to be so suspicious but any reason why she didn't name drop the deflowering experience that hurt? Could there be doubt on her part that she acted on some inside info that didn't work out? Certainly she couldn't have forgotten her very first time

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 17:06 | 3227154 Remington IV
Remington IV's picture

"close friend " = you ???

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:51 | 3226370 SeverinSlade
SeverinSlade's picture

So first she says she doesn't trade stocks like AAPL because they are "always being talked about" and have a lot of [evil] speculators.

Yet she continues on and later says she trades FB...a stock that (in her own words) is "always being talked about" and "has a lot of speculators."


Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:30 | 3226500 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

BAH BAH Hear that? It's her talking more.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 15:28 | 3226713 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

No wonder real jobs are disappearing...coz bimbos and clueless joes are leaving the workforce to fuckin trade in this NO LOSE if YOURE LONG market.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 15:40 | 3226748 Almost Solvent
Almost Solvent's picture


The best Chris Hansen moment was when he was with the police following a "bait car" that the cops use to catch car thieves in the act. They either leave it running or with the keys in the ignition. The cops follow the thief for a few blocks, then remotely disable the engine and lock the doors.

Anyhow, this one thief is carted out of the vehicle, cuffed, and then Chris Hansen starts asking him about why he stole the car.

This guy starts freaking out and says something to the effect of “I steal cars!! I never touched no kids!!!”

Funniest shit eva


Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:51 | 3226366 johngerard
johngerard's picture

Possibly the finest comment ever on Zerohedge.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:07 | 3226419 Aegelis
Aegelis's picture

"Go directly to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200" [][][][]

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 15:05 | 3226623 thisandthat
thisandthat's picture

things that go up and down is what makes the world go round

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 21:43 | 3227893 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

Just like the flipping craze back 5 years ago, I totally agree when people like her come out and expose how good she is doing (at 16  yfears old) in the market.  It's up there with the cab driver giving you stock tips.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:33 | 3226277 Chuck Bone
Chuck Bone's picture

Fox in the Ben house?

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:36 | 3226291 bigdumbnugly
bigdumbnugly's picture

OMG  OMG the dow is my new BFF

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:17 | 3226461 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture


Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:18 | 3226475 css1971
css1971's picture

Does the fact that I don't know what BFF means make me old?

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:58 | 3226598 JonNadler
JonNadler's picture


Fri, 02/08/2013 - 15:32 | 3226724 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture


fixed it for you

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 16:23 | 3226942 steve from virginia
steve from virginia's picture



Don't forget the mom who used this weird trick to make $247 per hour online ... in her spare time.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 21:16 | 3227817 mt paul
mt paul's picture


bens fcking fiat...

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:38 | 3226295 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Ringin the bell at the top... Too bad she's too young to have never had the opportunity to make an appearance on Rukeyser...

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:52 | 3226375 Bam_Man
Bam_Man's picture

I used to have a crush on Allison Deans.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:05 | 3226409 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture



I guess that's no worse than anyone... BACK IN THE DAY... Who had a crush on 'The Money Honey' [who later became the 'Money 2 Tons o' Funny']...

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:40 | 3226309 kaa1016
kaa1016's picture

Say what you want, but she sounds a hell of a lot more intelligent, and has better performance, than 99% of the people who give their "predictions" on CNBC.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:48 | 3226345 Mike in GA
Mike in GA's picture

I was thinking the same thing so I gave you a greenie!

She's got parents who aren't stupid, she isn't stupid, she lost on her first trade (pain is a great teacher) so she probably has as good a chance as anyone to survive the lunacy that is her country now.

I wish her the best.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:33 | 3226508 Raymond K Hessel
Raymond K Hessel's picture

She obviously has parents who have experience in stock trading and she's the right age to soak up all the knowledge in ways a 21 year old just can't.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:41 | 3226312 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

My daughter when she was nine years old outperformed 99% of hedge fund managers.  Or was that her paintings got more money than 99% of modern artists' work?  Wait, wait, I know!  Both!

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:44 | 3226330 seek
seek's picture

My daughter's net worth has exceeded Donald Trump's several times in her life so far...

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:56 | 3226396 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

That's because she didn't borrow any money...   ;)

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 15:57 | 3226828 ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

I think I just had a premature capitulation!

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:41 | 3226316 Bagbalm
Bagbalm's picture

"You know it's time to sell when shoeshine boys give you stock tips." Close enough...

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 15:24 | 3226698 Blankenstein
Blankenstein's picture

yep, especially when they say something like this:


 "oh, my, gosh, that's amazing, and so easy, I have to do this."

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:43 | 3226326 Squid Vicious
Squid Vicious's picture

She can guest host Cramer's show when he takes the family down to Boca

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:44 | 3226331 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

Sign of a "market top'.

Then again, my teens know a fucking lot more about equities than any dick eating stupid ass fucking hedge fund asshole

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:17 | 3226371 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

  This shit is so laughable, it brings tears to my eyes. That $85 billion put must have a 1/2 life?

Back in 2005 every pecker headed real-estate agent(former cab driver) was trying to sell me a house. 

I'm having "deja vu" big time!

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:46 | 3226339 gamera9
gamera9's picture

Facebook can now become a discount broker.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:51 | 3226368 dracos_ghost
dracos_ghost's picture

Don't laugh, I think he threw that out with shareholders, along with competing with ZNGA for online poker.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:46 | 3226340 toomanyfakecons...
toomanyfakeconservatives's picture

Meanwhile... ZH totally drops the ball on the Christopher Dorner story.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:25 | 3226489 knowless
knowless's picture

Did they catch him yet? I swear, i try to assume everyone i talk to on the internet is that guy.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:36 | 3226515 Raymond K Hessel
Raymond K Hessel's picture

Who cares about Dorner?  It will be a non-event and his leftist views will be diminished so that no matter who did what to whom, it's all Bush's fault so repeal the Bill of the Rights!!  

Piu! Piu! Heh heh heh heh!.... ahhh, fuck you Jon Stewart.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 15:23 | 3226692 BooMushroom
BooMushroom's picture

Unless, of course, he manages to make a significant dent in LAPD's payroll expenses, as per his manifesto.

I don't think that even MSNBC could ignore a cop SERIAL killer.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:48 | 3226346 brusty4
brusty4's picture

So I saw her on TV and then went to her Twitter page.  She made a 'tweet' on Microsoft, but she was still on the air when it was made.  I wonder if that is really her doing the tweeting. 

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:50 | 3226361 Mike in GA
Mike in GA's picture

Tweets are delayed when you're on CNBS.  It's like delayed gwatification.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:58 | 3226404 Matt
Matt's picture

Algorithmic Tweeting?

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 15:32 | 3226729 Kiwi Pete
Kiwi Pete's picture

Shes probably using to buffer her tweets

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:48 | 3226349 Cunnial
Cunnial's picture

Christ almighty... Is it Arpil Fools?

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:49 | 3226356 The Axe
The Axe's picture

Christ....Nails Lenny dykstra had 149 trades without a loss.......beat that bitch!!!!!    lol

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:52 | 3226372 dracos_ghost
dracos_ghost's picture

Ya sure that wasn't 149 games without a hit?

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:56 | 3226393 Bam_Man
Bam_Man's picture

Check out his postseason stats. Nails was one of the best "big game" players EVER.

Trading stocks, not so much.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:57 | 3226398 redpill
redpill's picture

149 days without taking that plug out of his cheek?

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:52 | 3226376 CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture

Great article. Thanks! Financial advisers are one profession where no matter what the results, you still are handed a commission by your Muppets.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:52 | 3226377 Lord Peter Pipsqueak
Lord Peter Pipsqueak's picture

Used to be Bellhops and shoeshine boys,now it's an "actress",if ever we needed confirmation we are in a good old traditional bubble there it is. Everyone is expecting the indices to reverse at the old highs,but Bernanke and the banks know this,the mother of all ramp jobs is coming to blast them thru the old highs,expect Bernanke to win as always.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:53 | 3226379 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

"I thought, oh, my, gosh, that's amazing, and so easy, I have to do this."


This commercial was brought to you by B.Shalom.B.

Ask your broker if equities are the right thing for you. May cause irrational exuberance and wild animal spirits.

Conditions apply.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:56 | 3226392 I am a Man I am...
I am a Man I am Forty's picture

she makes more sense than 99% of the douche bags on CNBC and is another shining example of why paying money managers is a fucking joke

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:56 | 3226394 Blano
Blano's picture

Boy do I feel incompetent now, damn kids.

On the bright side, I've never watched that show.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 13:59 | 3226400 Lost Wages
Lost Wages's picture

Soon everyone in America will be daytraders because there will be no other jobs. United States of Alpha.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:05 | 3226432 machineh
machineh's picture

Alpha bitchez in high heels ... can you say 'high maintenance'?

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:37 | 3226520 Raymond K Hessel
Raymond K Hessel's picture

Awww, almost.  you should have said 'high maintenance fees'

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:59 | 3226600 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

She will bet he featured speaker at this years "seeking alpha" cnbc conference. she will follow in turbo timmies foot-steps.

I smell an appointment to a "think tank" coming her way.....or an appointement to a strippers pole. Hell the later is more respectable.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:00 | 3226410 whoknoz
whoknoz's picture

here's the first clue: Rachel Fox actor...obviously he/she is a plant from one of the brokerage houses frantically seeking fresh meat...

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:01 | 3226414 lemonobrien
lemonobrien's picture

OMG, is this propaganda to get younger people in the stock market?

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:24 | 3226487 SmallerGovNow2
SmallerGovNow2's picture

Start em young.  Be teaching it in first grade in a couple of years...

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:55 | 3226580 Michelle
Michelle's picture

Wealthy people start training their children earlier than first grade. Yup, start em young.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 15:29 | 3226717 Blankenstein
Blankenstein's picture

or maybe older people ....


Hey look, it's so easy a 16 year old can do it.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:01 | 3226416 Xue
Xue's picture

She knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:02 | 3226417 yogibear
yogibear's picture

Bubble Bernanke and the Fed with all their excessive money made it so easy a monkey can make money in this market. Buy on the dips.

It will be amusing to see how Bubble Bernanke and the Fed squirms when all those dollars from overseas comes rushing in and drives up inflation well beyond their BS ability. 

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:02 | 3226418 otto skorzeny
otto skorzeny's picture

Market top.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:04 | 3226425 Mike Cowan
Mike Cowan's picture

Nothing better than being sixteen--best wishes, Rachel. Don't watch CNBC, unless you turn off the volume.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:11 | 3226450 SmittyinLA
SmittyinLA's picture

Yes bubble incidators-teenager day traders, illegal alien nanny home speculators and last but not least the mega rich gold bugs

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:18 | 3226474 Blano
Blano's picture

The "We Buy Houses" signs have suddenly popped up again in my neighborhood.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 15:45 | 3226719 Blankenstein
Blankenstein's picture

any sign twirlers yet?

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:17 | 3226458 Lord Of Finance
Lord Of Finance's picture

This could be made into an e-trade commercial.


  'investing in this market is like switching to geico. It's so easy, even a cavegirl can do it'

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:18 | 3226472 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

So on CNBC they're talking about this storm moving stocks and the market in the next three days. this what we are down to?  Ben Bernanke and storms?

What about employment?

What about sound money?

What about rights?

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:22 | 3226484 SmallerGovNow2
SmallerGovNow2's picture

But those things are like... so boring... 

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:20 | 3226477 thismarketisrigged
thismarketisrigged's picture

id fuck the shit out of her. 

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:52 | 3226568 Michelle
Michelle's picture

But would she enjoy it? You are a pig.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:23 | 3226481 Dr. No
Dr. No's picture

She is an actor.  I would not be surprise to learn she is being paid to say that in order to get mom and pop back in the market.

EDIT: Comming to an ad near you:  George Cloony "I trade stocks....and Im an average guy..."

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:26 | 3226492 azengrcat
azengrcat's picture

“When the music stops, in terms of BTFD, things will be complicated. But as long as the music is playing, you’ve got to shut up and BTMFD. We’re still BTFDing” 

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:26 | 3226493 Hammerabi
Hammerabi's picture

I want her audited TONIGHT

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:27 | 3226496 yogibear
yogibear's picture

She's aready pumping.A future CNBS Fast money expert. Just like all the rest of the CNBS pumpers.


Fri, 02/08/2013 - 16:04 | 3226857 bonzo112358
bonzo112358's picture

Fast Money was good for about the first year.  Jeff Macke still rocks!  Still don't mind Finerman though.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:27 | 3226497 secret_sam
secret_sam's picture

Surprised she didn't mention the importance of a very well paid "part time" job schedule to provide a bit of security in case a person ever experiences a bad run of trades.

That cinches it for me, though.  Fuck my current job.  I'm going to become a day-trading teevee personality.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:29 | 3226499 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

       Here comes the Friday ramp. I hedged gbp/jpy(long) against my aud/jpy(short) positions. Like a fucking glove!

    Now I'm going to puke my humanity out!

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:50 | 3226559 Michelle
Michelle's picture

Using the financial markets like a true Capitalist! Congratulations!

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 15:06 | 3226629 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

    True Realist,  I also bought some more platinum and silver (physical). If you look at the DXY it blew through the 80 resistance, yet metals went down.

    I didn't down vote you on this or the other thread, because you should be commended for coming to Z/H and sharing your concerns. ( have a good weekend)

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:30 | 3226501 eddiebe
eddiebe's picture

She obviously didnt invest in the mining sector.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 16:28 | 3226958 Canucklehead
Canucklehead's picture

... Should a guy lighten up on Bre-Ex or do you think it's still a hold?

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:31 | 3226503 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

CNBC reporting 20%-30% rise in home equity loans through the TBTF banks.


Oh, this recovery is great, no second housing bubble, no FED bubble, the U.S.S.A. is back baby!  Yeah!


Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:37 | 3226518 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

This proves Bernanke has created a permanently higher plateau.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:45 | 3226530 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

      Truth in Sunshine. You did a fantastic job, pertaining to your post about Mrs. Watanabe. Well done +1

  Albiet you are one of the best posters on Z/H.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 23:39 | 3228138 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Yen, thanks, but I've been here for two years and have seen a cargo truck full of people as intelligent or far more so than I.

One thing I didn't ever expect to see was a 20% depreciation in the yen in just a matter of weeks. If one considers the slow and steady APPRECIATION of the yen relative to most foreign currencies over the last decade, even while Japan has been printing and indebting itself like a Krugman-run fiefdom, it's bewildering to those of us who've seen this take place so suddenly on nothing more than a change in the Prime Minister and more aggressive jawboning by the finance minister.

As I mentioned regarding a prior article, the yen carry trade was one of the main pillars of international finance over the last 7 to 10 years.

It's all rather spectacular.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:39 | 3226524 John Law Lives
John Law Lives's picture

Let's see how the little trollop does in a flat market or a surprise bear market.  The smile will be wiped off her face.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 14:39 | 3226526 10044
10044's picture

She can certainly come and "hedge my bet"

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