And Summarizing It All...

Tyler Durden's picture

... the surreal, spectacular farce of it all, is of course The Onion

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MiguelitoRaton's picture

aren't we "entitled" to better?

idea_hamster's picture

"Everyone got the war they deserved."  -- Jean-Paul Sartre, on the French experience under Nazi occupation

redpill's picture

I guess the Onion has finally wrapped around the satire spectrum and is back to cold hard truth.

bonzo112358's picture

Bingo.  This concept of entitlement starts at a young age.  I've taught high school for 13 years now and every year students come in with this idea that they deserve a higher grade because they have a pulse.  For some of these students (thankfully not the majority yet) the concept of earning a good grade seems alien to them.

dogbreath's picture

Introduce them to the red pill and that there is no free lunch.

YBNguy's picture

Bankers deserve better. The muppets and sheep, not so much. /POTUS

BLOTTO's picture

Bankers, Sheep, Muppets, Royal Blue bloods, Elite, Trolls, Shills, Zombies, and Conspiracy Theorists...and some of you tell me it aint an occult shit show

Dealyer Turdin's picture

And the resistance is guided by weasel lips too.


shutdown's picture

The American way of life is not negotiable.

The descent into darkness isn't negotiable, either. 

rhinoblitzing's picture

The American Way of Life is not Recognizable...

There fixed it 4 ya...


Manipuflation's picture

How about incineration?

"Before the fire, SWAT officers had been firing tear gas inside the cabin as part of a "tactical operation." No gunfire has been heard since the structure went up in flames shortly after 4 p.m. PT. It was still burning 90 minutes later, and authorities made no attempt to extinguish the flames.

"We won't allow them (firefighters) to get close to the cabin,'' said Cindy Bachman, spokeswoman for the San Bernardino County Sheriff's Department. "It's just not safe.''

At an afternoon news conference after the gun fight and shortly before the cabin began burning, Smith called on Dorner to surrender.

"Enough is enough. It's time to turn yourself in," Smith said, addressing Dorner via television cameras. "It's time to end the bloodshed."

The Los Angeles police chief called Dorner "a domestic terrorist," and a $1 million reward, from public and private sources, was offered. Police had received more than 1,000 tips by Monday."


Chupacabra-322's picture

It's the Criminal standard operating procedure.  Cut the live TV feed and Burst the crime scene into flames ala Ruby Ridge, Waco and now.

Manipuflation's picture

Precisely stated Sir.  In complete coincidence with sotu of course.

spanish inquisition's picture

Wow.. I guess you do not need a drone strike. Just some cops yelling "Burn the fucker down"  and a couple of matches and you are good to go. (Edit : I guess Dorner was wrong on all that corruption stuff /sarc)

lakecity55's picture

I actually started a fire with one years back.

They could have used patience and waited him out.

No power or water.

Tactics used show they did not want a suspect captured for trial.

Just like Waco, no 6th Amendment rights.

Too much dirt would have come out. This nigga had to die by the Man.

jwoop66's picture

I heard someone in the media discuss this before it happened.  They called it just like it happened, except the fire.  I was thinking - why not just shoot something in there that puts his ass out.  I know the russians used some knockout gas in that theater 15 or 20 years ago.  Yeah, it killed half the people, but I'm sure this guy would have survived.  Just goes to show, they did want him dead and they wanted to destroy the evidence.  Although, I am hesitant to attribute too much to intelligence(smarts) where the LAPD is concerned.

jwoop66's picture

Dont get me wrong.  Good fucking riddance to this clown, but I'm sure that if taken alive he would have had a WHOLE lot to say about a whole lot of folks. 

Coulda been a great reality show!

Pemaquid's picture

The alternative? Long drawn out court proceedings followed by incarceration at what cost? Sad to say but we are better off when things end this way.

hannah's picture

...once he got trapped in the cabin, you had to know the place would burn up destroying everything. seems those tear gas cans are really just fire starters.


the first martyr of the new republic.....

Cabreado's picture

"Deserve" is subjective.  Ambiguous too.

False leadership is cut and dried, as the mission has always been clear.

Discussions that neglect false leadership, by simple logic alone, break down into self-serving bullshit before they get out of the gate.

Manipuflation's picture

I will plus you on that Cab as I see what you are saying, but I would like to remind you that the source was The Onion.

Stuart's picture

They voted for him, twice.   Amazing.  The ship is sinking, the captain is fiddling and this is all going to end badly. 

Totentänzerlied's picture

"They voted for him, twice."


Manipuflation's picture

In American federal politics, it really does not matter who the plebes vote for because both parties are funded by the TBTF banks.  It's even that way in state level politics.  You watch who pays/bribes and you know who your sugardaddy is/are.  I was a Treasurer in one of the parties so I have a grasp in how campaign contributions actually work.  Strawman gun purchases are bad?  How about strawman political campaign contributions? 

The general election is mostly pointless because the candidates were chosen well ahead of the general election so you end up having no real choice.  That is why I caucus.

Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

It's like two puppets, and one person has a hand up the ass of both sides. It brings a new visual to "fist full of dollars."

Tapeworm's picture

@ Manipuflation

The elevation of Shrubco proves your thesis beyond any argument against.

samsara's picture

"Deserves have nothing to do with it"

Will Munny

Dr. Engali's picture

Some wild entertainment tonight. We got to watch a Hollywood production shoot out ending with a man burned alive followed by a one hour comedy show. Man I love this piece of shit country. Now if you'll excuse me I have seven minutes left of Fat Tuesday ... I plan on making the best of them.

Whiteshadowmovement's picture

"Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve"

-George Bernard Shaw

overmedicatedundersexed's picture

to vote they show you a diebold terminal, which cannot a millisecond later provide how you voted, you just have to trust that your vote was counted for the right candidate, I was not born yesterday.

Whiteshadowmovement's picture

yeah, democracy worked flawlessly before Diebold came along...

overmedicatedundersexed's picture

whitey boy, are you saying this no hard data system is great with you? voter fraud has been with us all along sure, but now with a proper code the results are as predictable as sun in the morning, as in programmed to be close the the tbtf, nwo, elite get the results every time..or do you have your eyes wide shut??

Whiteshadowmovement's picture

no, im just suggesting shaw (who wrote this way before there ever was such a thing as electronic voting) makes an excellent point- maybe the idea of democracy is structurally flawed.

Certainly, if there was such a thing, I personally would take a benevolent dictator over a democratic system any day...

As Schopenhauer once put it: "I would rather be ruled by a lion, than one of my fellow rats"

pods's picture

I think he is saying that by the time it comes to voting, you have already lost.


earleflorida's picture

'a bottomless inkwell...

and, a long enough contour quill...

will pen any standing army...

,against the throes of justice...

embracing their apocalyptic dispersion...

all... with but a tear`less-- blotter of remorse'

DeadFinks's picture

I missed the shootout, the show and the SOTU.  I think that I am a better man for doing so.

“Rebellion to tyranny is obedience to God.”-ThomasJefferson's picture



Cheers to the Onion.  

A great majority of Americans are over stuffed, under educated, willingly submissive bitches.  



besnook's picture

if you don't eat your meat you can't have any pudding. how can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat.

IamtheREALmario's picture

I disagree. The American people did not chose this path. Their so called leaders have been brainwashing them since birth to bring them exactly to this point at this time. Yes, the propagandist media would like us to believe that America is fascist empire with the morals of Sodom and Gomorah. However that is the view propagated by parasites. At its core, America has a majority of good people who the so called leaders are desperatey trying to turn "bad". They WANT us to believe we deserve some form of punishment for the situation they brought us to. It is theatre of the absurd.

lakecity55's picture


queers make up 2% of the population, yet are represented in 98% of TV shows.

Randy Goodnight's picture

"Queers" make up a larger percentage of Hollywood, that's why they are "represented" in a larger percentage of TV shows

overmedicatedundersexed's picture

fags, homo's, queers,,never gay if you ever met one prozac in every pocket. but in defense they are GREEN GREEN GREEN, no filthy kids to spend on, no big trucks, guns or other toys real men have..go queer the new green age is near, save the earth, fuck a man.

andrewp111's picture

The American People reelected this turkey, didn't they? And it was a clean win too.

overmedicatedundersexed's picture

andy my boy, what did you not understand:

to vote they show you a diebold terminal, which cannot a millisecond later provide how you voted, you just have to trust that your vote was counted for the right candidate, I was not born yesterday.

Headbanger's picture
From each according to his ability, to each according to his need

Karl Marx

And no, not one of the Marx brothers

Black Markets's picture

From each according to his ability, to each according to his need

Karl Marx


So hide your ability and advertise your need.

Shizzmoney's picture

When satire becomes reality, then society is fucked.

BTW, the majority of the people I know under 35 didn't watch a minute of the sppech last night.  It's OK Obama and the millionaires in Congress: we know you don't give a fuck about us, anyways.