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Caption Contest: European Math Lesson

Tyler Durden's picture


Count alongside Spain's economy minister as the IMF instructs him how many trillion in bonds the Spanish pension fund will have to buy before the IMF finally bails out the country.


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Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:15 | 3237616 fireangelmaverick
fireangelmaverick's picture

Not two billion, two billion per banker in your country....

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:17 | 3237629 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

"Now practice putting your tongue between my fingers."


Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:17 | 3237634 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

Yes, there are still two hairs on top...

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:23 | 3237659 Say What Again
Say What Again's picture

Rock, Paper, Scissors...

You lose... I have scissors and I'm gonna cut off your balls.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:24 | 3237665 greased up deaf guy
greased up deaf guy's picture

your punishment? these two fingers...

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:26 | 3237669 redpill
redpill's picture

Last time I only used one finger and you bled for a week, cross me again and you'll get TWO!

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:28 | 3237680 ZippyBananaPants
ZippyBananaPants's picture

I just did a number 2 in my pants, can't you smell it?

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:43 | 3237695 Manthong
Manthong's picture

TD.. You might need a new lip reader.. what she said was:

“Two quadrillions Euro is all I need for my little bag.”

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:45 | 3237702 The Juggernaut
The Juggernaut's picture

Christine Lagarde: I only love the two in the pinky and hate the one in the stinky... until I drown in some Prosecco.  After that I'm DTF.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:47 | 3237707 Say What Again
Say What Again's picture

OT:  What's going on with the ES sell-off?

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:51 | 3237723 12ToothAssassin
12ToothAssassin's picture

"And Im going to shove the second one up your ass"

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:55 | 3237733 Stackers
Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:59 | 3237747 MiguelitoRaton
MiguelitoRaton's picture

So I'll lie down against the couch and stick my legs up in the air like this, you then lick my pussy like there's no tomorrow. And so help me God, if your junk gets anywhere near my face I will bite that shit clean understand Bitch?!

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 18:21 | 3238044 Jacque Itch
Jacque Itch's picture

I have 'this many' testicles

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 18:34 | 3238107 tobus
tobus's picture

First shalt thou take out the pin, then shalt thou count to two.

No more; no less.

Two shall be the number thou shall count and the number of the counting shall be two.

Youtube Mony Python Holy Hand Grenade

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 07:20 | 3239783 Popo
Popo's picture

"You think that smells bad?   Smell the other one."

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 17:21 | 3237808 SamAdams
SamAdams's picture

"Peace on Earth, goodwill to all men.  Nah, I'm just messin' with you.  Did you see my "bull" lapel pin?"

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:56 | 3237737 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

You did a "roker" !

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 17:00 | 3237753 ZippyBananaPants
ZippyBananaPants's picture

So now instead of calling it a Shart, we can call it a Roker.  Excellent, love it

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:18 | 3237635 Say What Again
Say What Again's picture

"Do you have any idea where these fingers have been?"

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:20 | 3237640 Atlas_shrugging
Atlas_shrugging's picture

Five dollar foot loooongs

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 07:25 | 3239785 Popo
Popo's picture

"Ah mon cheri, you think you can pleasure me wiss only 2 fingers?   Bend over -- I will show you how to use ze whole fist darling.".

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 17:02 | 3237760 MachoMan
MachoMan's picture

smell my fingers

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:42 | 3237694 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture


Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:45 | 3237704 Say What Again
Say What Again's picture

"wooo  wooo wooo"

"I oughta ...."

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:48 | 3237711 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture


My first thought as well.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:59 | 3237746 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

"If you don't put your fingers in the right holes next time, there's more where this came from!"

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:56 | 3237736 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

:hand on edge finger block:

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 19:30 | 3238317 clara-to-market
Wed, 02/13/2013 - 02:40 | 3239664 JuliaS
JuliaS's picture

Another round of budget haircuts.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:15 | 3237617 Chuck Bone
Chuck Bone's picture

V for violent revolution!

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:15 | 3237618 Say What Again
Say What Again's picture

I'm gonna give you a prostate exam.  This won't hurt!!!  wink wink

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:15 | 3237620 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

Yes, I quite like the Shocker!

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:17 | 3237630 Water Is Wet
Water Is Wet's picture

Gray hair:  1 in the pink, 1 in the stink.

Dude:  **This goes against everything I was ever taught**

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:21 | 3237649 SkottFree
SkottFree's picture

"Gray hair:  1 in the pink, 1 in the stink."

You guess which one!

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:43 | 3237696 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

Which is 1/2 a Spocker.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 17:03 | 3237762 MachoMan
MachoMan's picture

lol.  Golf clap to you good sir

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:41 | 3237691 GolfHatesMe
GolfHatesMe's picture

DSK Shocker

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:16 | 3237621 Dick Darlington
Dick Darlington's picture

Which man is the Spain's econ minister?

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:22 | 3237651 Sukumvir
Sukumvir's picture

The one staring in complete disbelief and craving for a jabugo baguette sandwich as it is passed his midmorning almuerzo...everything else can wait!

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:21 | 3237652 Sukumvir
Sukumvir's picture

The one staring in complete disbelief and craving for a jabugo baguette sandwich as it is passed his midmorning almuerzo...everything else can wait!

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 17:07 | 3237771 Agent P
Agent P's picture

You've got my vote for winner.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:15 | 3237622 spanish inquisition
spanish inquisition's picture

Yes, its true! I have 2 fun holes down there.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:16 | 3237623 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

V is for Vendetta

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:17 | 3237624 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

One finger on each side of ze woowoo, like THIS, THEN give it a little smooch, and get your aid package, oui?

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:17 | 3237628 A. Magnus
A. Magnus's picture

"Pay the fucking money or we'll feed you BOTH of your nuts - one at a time!"

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:17 | 3237631 NotAMathWhiz
NotAMathWhiz's picture

... it wassh a long lunsh ... I think I shee ...  shree?

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:18 | 3237632 giggler123
giggler123's picture

I said 2 sugars the last time; these meetings about debt are becoming to regular I'm getting diabetes.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:18 | 3237637 toddf
toddf's picture

I know it's dry, don't give me that look, but the drill is the same:  One in the pink, and one in the stink.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:19 | 3237639 otto skorzeny
otto skorzeny's picture

Yes-when I die Louis Vuitton said he could make 2 beautiful handbags out of my skin

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 17:00 | 3237755 Hulk
Hulk's picture

Orange handbags are so 60's...

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:20 | 3237642 Shameful
Shameful's picture

"I'll need two, yes two children to cook in the stew pot.  I'm cooking for Merkel and you know she has quite the appetite"

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:20 | 3237643 stiler
stiler's picture

doesn't this illustrate the fallacy of the Eurozone-- having an outsider dictating financial policy to your nat'l entity? and a woman at that.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:20 | 3237644 madcuban
madcuban's picture

"Give up your last remaining sovereignty or I cut off your balls, snip snip."

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:20 | 3237645 Iam Yue2
Iam Yue2's picture

Hit the deficit target for 2012 or I will poke your fucking eyes out.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:21 | 3237647 q99x2
q99x2's picture

That makes two strikes. If you don't get your ass in a recovery house it is going to be 3 strikes and you're out of here.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:22 | 3237655 Cangaroo.TNT
Cangaroo.TNT's picture

And then Moe goes....

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:22 | 3237658 dick cheneys ghost
dick cheneys ghost's picture

2 holes, no waiting..............

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:24 | 3237660 greased up deaf guy
greased up deaf guy's picture


Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:24 | 3237662 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

You have two choices. Bend over or do as I tell you. I'm sorry, did I say two choices?

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:25 | 3237667 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture



"... and then Moe would take these two fingers and ..."

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:25 | 3237668 Joebloinvestor
Joebloinvestor's picture

" No kidding, I can actually get both of these up my nose at the same time".

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:26 | 3237670 PhysicalRealm
PhysicalRealm's picture

Please excuse the OT post, but wanted to make sure everyone saw this:

Fake Silver Eagles Surface Amid Rising Precious Metals Values



Tue, 02/12/2013 - 17:02 | 3237761 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Let's see... user is 90 weeks old... third post ever... first two posts are about disinfo agents. Meanwhile, the fake SAE article hasn't generated enough interest to get any traction... so you make sure to politely notify us again.

Add another to the sock-puppet list!

I for sure could be wrong, but I see this article as trying to scare people out of the market, Other than Andrew Greenham, there isn't much detail at all in the article. You'd think another reporter would've followed up by now.

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 03:12 | 3239678 PhysicalRealm
PhysicalRealm's picture

Yes, NA, you /could/ be wrong.  I liked the article for its detailed pix of the real coin as opposed to the fake ones and I thought others could use the info.  It was absolutely in NO way intended to discourage anyone from buying anything!  We all just want to buy the real thing - not fakes.  And btw, I've posted more than three times and read since the beginning - just didn't sign up at first.  Why you took offense to this post is a mystery to me.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:27 | 3237676 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

"Ok, focus with me, Combien c'est?"


"Muy facil, este un Playboy bunny"

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:54 | 3237730 tbone654
tbone654's picture

I can do a shadow puppet of Playboy Bunny symbol...

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:31 | 3237682 Sparkling Wiggles
Sparkling Wiggles's picture

" See, when you spread the fingers out like this, then I wasn't lying when I said you can only get two fingers in me"

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:40 | 3237686's picture

"I told you two times now accounting records must be kept on an Etch a Sketch for a whole host of reasons."  --Leather Face

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:44 | 3237693 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

How many of my Bankster friends can I bring to DSK's Party?

 ... Or,  how many shares traded on the NYSE today?

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:41 | 3237689 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Two years ...two fucking years I've held one of the most high profile banking positions in the world and I still can't get laid.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:41 | 3237690 Charles Nelson ...
Charles Nelson Reilly's picture

I'm gonna jam my bald head straight up your box.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:43 | 3237698 Sturm und Drang
Sturm und Drang's picture

That's two strikes motherfucker.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:43 | 3237701 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

I used the tan spray only twice

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:46 | 3237705 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

na-nu na-nu

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:47 | 3237706 Jayda1850
Jayda1850's picture

"You're way too drunk to drive, how many fingers am I holding up?"

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:49 | 3237713 ISEEIT
ISEEIT's picture

"Listen you piece of shit" This IS NOT ONE.......

"it IS two!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:49 | 3237717 Super Broccoli
Super Broccoli's picture

come on IMF got no money !!!! where would it come from ? United State of Bankruptia ? Greece ? Spain ? Japan maybe ?

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:51 | 3237722 tbone654
tbone654's picture

Then Bill gave me this unlit Cigar...  I didn't know what to do with it, until he started calling me Monica... Since then I can take almost anything...

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:52 | 3237725 chdwlch1
chdwlch1's picture

Pay attention this time...the secret to solvency is keeping two sets of books!

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:53 | 3237729 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture


Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:55 | 3237735 Mox E
Mox E's picture

One in the stink and TWO in the pink. Get it right!

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 16:58 | 3237743 WatchingIgnorance
WatchingIgnorance's picture

Is that a booger on your finger?

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 17:00 | 3237749 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

Do you think you are a better man than I am?

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 17:01 | 3237757 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

Two fingers, dos dedos, comprende dickhead? Why dos? For the same reason UpgrayeDD Blankfein spells his name with two Ds, for a double dose of bankster pimpin'!

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 17:01 | 3237759 Mad Muppet
Mad Muppet's picture

"Look, it's simple. Two things: If you want the bailout, you have to buy me the chateau on lac Lucerne we talked about, and kick back 50,000 Euros a month. End of discussion."

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 17:03 | 3237764 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"These two fingers go inside, and you must not forget the thumb.  If I don't cum twice you get nothing!"

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 17:03 | 3237765 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

"You have 2 bailout! For third you must give me two small childrens to eat and I need more slaves; preferably leather-clad womens."


Tue, 02/12/2013 - 17:44 | 3237766 falak pema
falak pema's picture

IMF : 'when in doubt print...we have to beat Jamie at his own game!

Print, print print, CBs must just print and outprint the PDs; drown them in money to make them inoffensive...

That way Jamie will never be able to say : If you pull the plug on me I unleash the WMD called derivative collapse. 

I want you to take over the electronic game and drown the TBTF in their own game.

Let heaven wait! ...'

Not saying this won't make us all super poor; but these shills only know one thing : save their own skins, even if they WILL inevitably fall out amongst themselves...I hope when they won't be able to buy any more bullets! 

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 17:04 | 3237768 Hulk
Hulk's picture

That smell you smell is cause I got to go number two...

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 17:09 | 3237777 Tango in the Blight
Tango in the Blight's picture

I had a schmelting accident and now I only have two fingers left.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 17:14 | 3237780 Mad Mohel
Mad Mohel's picture

"Double pénétration pour vous monsieur!"

"Or how you say"

"Doble penetración para usted señor!"

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 17:15 | 3237789 bnbdnb
bnbdnb's picture

Bernanke lasted two minutes.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 17:17 | 3237795 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Fiat for gold.  Final offer.  Now I count to three . . .

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 17:18 | 3237796 Watts_D_Matter
Watts_D_Matter's picture

That's 1 for the PINK and 1 for the STINK!

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 17:22 | 3237797 SunRise
SunRise's picture

Yes I did graduate from the 3rd grade!  Now just turn back around Sir and smile for the camera!

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 17:19 | 3237804 Watts_D_Matter
Watts_D_Matter's picture

I also do freelance gynecology....want to smell my fingers....

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 17:27 | 3237805 TWSceptic
TWSceptic's picture

"Some personal advice my bald friend. You only need two things to protect yourself from central banks: gold and silver. Why do you think I wear a golden brooch, earrings and a silver bracelet?"

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 17:20 | 3237806 Watts_D_Matter
Watts_D_Matter's picture

Shall I check your prostate senior? It comes with the bail out!

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 17:20 | 3237807 EclecticParrot
EclecticParrot's picture

Ah ... OK.   Always wondered what happened to the sniggering dorks in my fourth grade gym class.  Apparently, they grew up to be ZH readers.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 19:09 | 3238235 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Report them to the "teacher"...ya feckin' parrot.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 17:21 | 3237811 Watts_D_Matter
Watts_D_Matter's picture

These fingers made Hillary Clinton moan!

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 17:25 | 3237831 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

I just threw up.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 17:22 | 3237813 fledermaus
fledermaus's picture

In OUR little world game, NOTHING beats paper.  Not Hard assetts (Rock) Not Scissors (Arms)...

It's the new war...

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 17:23 | 3237819 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

How many times can you fuck the world in a lifetime?

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 17:24 | 3237822 delacroix
delacroix's picture

you're going to have to throw 2 of your colleagues under the bus, to save yourself.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 17:29 | 3237842 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

And then the suckers in the USA were told to use these by the DHS to defend themselves when they take all their guns away.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 17:31 | 3237847 espirit
espirit's picture

Hey, who photoshopped in the index finger?

WB7, was that you?

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 17:36 | 3237856 outamyeffinway
outamyeffinway's picture

No, it's 5 fingers.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 17:54 | 3237946 Dan'l
Dan'l's picture

"I can spread my legs wider that you can imagine". 

I love visiting Spain. It's one of my favorite European nations, but they had lots of banksters, who built condo facing the ocean on government owned land in Southern Andalusia ie: Marbella. It was only after all of the Brits bought their condo that they found that their titles were on good. I can see that happening next here in the good 'ol USA. 

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 17:58 | 3237961 ZippyBananaPants
ZippyBananaPants's picture

i put one in my ass and one in my puss.  can you tell which is which?

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 18:37 | 3238121 Goat Cheese Please
Goat Cheese Please's picture

Is that Ken Lay?


Tue, 02/12/2013 - 18:56 | 3238192 thisandthat
thisandthat's picture

"Pay attention now, Guindos - there's only two ways the markets can go: up and upper!"

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 19:00 | 3238206 trendybull459
trendybull459's picture injoy your last freedoms,read why in the near future you all will be leaving under much worth leader that Stalin was,Elite should prepare testoments,your last days counted FED,prepare for changes,working for change!Because most of you worthening midlle class conditions,you are blind in your greedy habits to leave some change to poor and middle,then you will loose all like it was many times in hystory under the New Order which not you,others will do very soon! Laggarde ha ha ha,you soon to be trashed into anals of the short EU hystory and new Arabic Winter will cover the EU because its own idiothy

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 19:02 | 3238217 slackrabbit
slackrabbit's picture

This time, you only get to bailouts...

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 19:22 | 3238237 are we there yet
are we there yet's picture

Lets declaire victory and hang a few banksters that are not in the IMF.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 19:14 | 3238255 Croesus
Croesus's picture

"Yes, I have 2 balls"

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 19:15 | 3238258 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

Surpringly popular topic. Usually followed by "not my problem the ECB has already told me...

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 19:57 | 3238434 TheMerryPrankster
TheMerryPrankster's picture

Stooge on Right: "pick Two"

STooge on left, holding just poked eyes, "why you dirty rat, I oughtttt to moider you."


Tue, 02/12/2013 - 20:46 | 3238589 Savvy
Savvy's picture

This many equals this many

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 20:58 | 3238635 madcows
madcows's picture

Either you tell them we have fixed the problems right now, or I cut off your balls and feed them to you with your Paella.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:05 | 3238663 f16hoser
f16hoser's picture

$2.00 bucks and you can see 'em both you twit.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:21 | 3238700 Bear
Bear's picture

Give me two more months ... and you know that after the election, I will have more flexibility.

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 11:27 | 3238877 medium giraffe
medium giraffe's picture

"So I slipped into Mario's secret conference, but they knew I was not Angela Merkel when I ordered two drinks at the bar. In Germany they order two drinks like this, see?"

Inglorious Banksters

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 23:33 | 3239359 Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture

For 50 Euros I'll give you a 2-fer

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 23:34 | 3239361 Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture

You are getting sleepy.... verrrrrrrry sleepy

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 23:35 | 3239364 Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture

this isn't the pension fund you're looking for

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 23:36 | 3239366 Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture

OT:  I think that dude on the right went to my high school

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 09:38 | 3239959 alt.hedge
alt.hedge's picture

Who does number two work for?

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 10:10 | 3240033 thisandthat
thisandthat's picture

So this is how you do the stimulus thing: one goes in the front, one in the back - got it? Hello?

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 16:17 | 3240994 Jon Steed
Jon Steed's picture

I'm saying that fiat money will collapse. it will be our fate just like the tulips. Tulips. Two. Get it.

Christ tabernak

Spanish idiot.

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