The State Of The Union Is... Dumber

Tyler Durden's picture


Since James Madison's 1815 Address, the 'linguistic standard' of the State of the Union speech has plunged. As The Guardian notes, the lowest on record was George H.W. Bush's 1992 address - only just beating Obama's 2011 address for 'dumbest' speech ever. Whether this is representative of the American people as a whole or the lowest common denominator is unclear but one thing in this evening's speech comes to mind; if you were the President, would you invite, as your personal guest, a CEO who 1) has overseen massive wealth destruction in the last six months, 2) refuses to spend his massive cash hoard in the USA, and 3) outsources his manufacturing to china? Dumb and dumber indeed...


Using the Flesch-Kincaid readability test the Guardian has tracked the reading level of every state of the union


and the Top 20 (or Bottom 20 we guess) Lowest average readability test scores for the Presidents...


P.S. in case you didn't know AAPL's CEO Tim Cook is the above-mentioned guest of the President...


Source: The Guardian

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Tue, 02/12/2013 - 20:09 | 3238457 kridkrid
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Tue, 02/12/2013 - 20:18 | 3238483 Shell Game
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Tue, 02/12/2013 - 20:34 | 3238511 King_of_simpletons
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"Upgrade" for President or is it going to be President Comacho's State of the Union address:

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 20:43 | 3238573 TheFourthStooge-ing
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The state of the union is the same as it's been since the civil war: enforced at the point of a gun.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 20:46 | 3238583 SilverTree
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Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:22 | 3238703 buzzsaw99
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That's UpgrayeDD. The double D is for a double dose of pimpin'!

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 13:32 | 3240440 monad
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There are 24,761,380 UpgrayeDDs listed. Brought to you by Karl & Jr.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:47 | 3238813 mickeyman
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Kick back and suck up a Brawndo (the thirst mutilator)

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 20:24 | 3238506 buzzsaw99
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President Camacho: Now I understand everyone's shit's emotional right now. But I've got a 3 point plan that's going to fix EVERYTHING.

Congressman #1: Break it down, Camacho!

President Camacho: Number 1: We've got this guy Not Sure. Number 2: He's got a higher IQ than ANY MAN ALIVE. and Number 3: He's going to fix EVERYTHING. [/President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho]

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 20:55 | 3238618 Variance Doc
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+1  Great movie on so many different levels.  A view of current societal attractions.

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 10:07 | 3240024 jayman21
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It was a true thought exercise.  

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 20:30 | 3238516 Acet
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Consider how in today's America, intellectual pursuits are shunned and even ridiculed, with high-schools having a culture of worshiping those who are good at sports and shunning those who are good at learning and thinking, to the point that most of the US' scientists have to be imported from abroad.

You can see it here in ZH often enough, with some otherwise brilliant people seemingly incapable of building a structurally robust logic building, falling for rethorical falacies, name-calling and emotional appeals and, worse of all, blindly parroting ideas which they never really investigated with any level of skepticism.

Is it thus any surprise if the level of rethoric of American presidents has trended down, towards the simpleton level and American politics has become a contest of who shouts the loudest or has the better show rather than a contest of witts?


Wed, 02/13/2013 - 08:05 | 3239808 blindfaith
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A MUST SEE:  Detach Ment,  a movie by with Adrian Brodie.  See that and all your questions will be answered.

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 08:52 | 3239875 JamesJOMeara
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"Consider how in today's America, intellectual pursuits are shunned and even ridiculed, with high-schools having a culture of worshiping those who are good at sports and shunning those who are good at learning and thinking, to the point that most of the US' scientists have to be imported from abroad."

Exactly. And I explain why this has happened in my new book here:

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 20:30 | 3238528 Tango in the Blight
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So what would be the score of President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho's State of the Union address?

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 01:56 | 3238715 thisandthat
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So Obama is worse than GWB and GHB is worse than both (edit: worse than all of them).

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 20:10 | 3238463 PeterLemonJello
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I want to see Uncle Ted and the illegal immigrant go hand to hand. That's real tv.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 20:16 | 3238475 rhinoblitzing
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Tue, 02/12/2013 - 20:43 | 3238574 Pareto
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...+1  wiping coffee off my comp screen.......again.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 20:11 | 3238465 Black Markets
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Country is brimming with dumbass numbnuts.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 20:13 | 3238468 JustPrintMoreDuh
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Big words make brain mine hurt :(

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:07 | 3238469 rhinoblitzing
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State of the Dis-Union by the Divider In Chief.

Prepare for more Divisiveness - and DOW 16,000

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 20:15 | 3238474 _Alekhine_
_Alekhine_'s picture

"Our children is learning".

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 20:18 | 3238480 Raynja
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well, when you are trying to get poor, uneducated people to vote for you, you don't want to go over their head

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 08:45 | 3239865 Ayn NY
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Hey the most "educated" people I know voted for the promise of utopia on earth.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 20:21 | 3238500 goldenbuddha454
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Predict Barrack Obama's Word Cloud: Let me be clear, revenue, We tried that and it didn't work, Jobs, we still have alot of work to do, Make no mistake, we stand, alot better now, for the first time, guns in the hands of criminals, assault weapons, children, women, has to stop, Iran cannot defy the world community, sanctions in place are working, people are back to work, the other side thinks, market is near alltime highs, and blah blah blah blah f-in blah!

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 20:32 | 3238542 rhinoblitzing
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Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:26 | 3238712 dhengineer
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Just to clarify, are you referring to presidents or pussy?  Just wondering...

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:11 | 3238674 ZeroAvatar
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Hope, forward, all work together, making the world better, evil, stand together, opportunity, revenue, can't go back, change, I, me, myself, future, and blah blah blah blah blah f-in blah blah!

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:41 | 3238767 Yes We Can. But...
Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

...let me be perfectly clear...laser-like ceaselessly...we can all agree one would dispute work to be done...

the douche-bag will do more damage and burden the citizenry more than any prior President, by far

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 06:26 | 3239757 goldenbuddha454
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I think he covered all my word-cloud in the first 15 minutes, a new record!

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 20:23 | 3238505 izzee
izzee's picture

Hey, don't diss the's part of the deal.  The O's staff trolled CEOs and Tim came up with the best trade.

Tim's gonna give him the first off the boat from China ...Official Dick Wrist Communicator.

APPL to $2000...everybody's gonna line up for the Dick Com...

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 20:24 | 3238508 espirit
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Wait for it.  "We can't protect you unless we take away all those evil firearms".

Fuking dumb assed logic. 

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 20:24 | 3238509 UnpatrioticHoarder
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Tim Cook for Treas Sec! Timmmmeeeehhhh!

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 20:28 | 3238513 Seasmoke
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think of how stupid the average American is.......then realize that half are DUMBER than that

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 20:29 | 3238529 Whiteshadowmovement
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"Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians. Everybody complains about politicians. Everybody says they suck. Well, where do people think these politicians come from? They don't fall out of the sky. They don't pass through a membrane from another reality. They come from American parents and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses and American universities, and they are elected by American citizens. This is the best we can do folks. This is what we have to offer. It's what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're going to get selfish, ignorant leaders. Term limits ain't going to do any good; you're just going to end up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. So, maybe, maybe, maybe, it's not the politicians who suck. Maybe something else sucks around here... like, the public. Yeah, the public sucks. There's a nice campaign slogan for somebody: 'The Public Sucks. Fuck Hope.'"

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 20:48 | 3238597 rhinoblitzing
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BS - Don't blame The People - It's the System, and the $2 Billion dollars spent on the Presidential campaign - where does it go....?

To CNN, CBS, NBC, MSNBC, FOX, ABC, Current... Is it any wonder we are always in an election cycle - and that;s what you will see tonight, the official kick off of the 2014 interim election.

As for the actual presidential vote - Starting with the rigged up primaries - By the time the primaries get to California and Texas - It's already over... When Florida moved up thier primary date - Florida lost half thier delegates, The two parties actually tried to force Florida to change the date back, but  - the Democrats and Republican parties have no status to dictate the date of such primaries, but they do. You call this a fair vote?  You want to fix the presidential election - have 3 primaries across splitting all 50 states into 3ds - drawn in a lottery.

Restricting the amount of $$$ that networks can take in, in campaign revenue, would clean it up too.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:06 | 3238616 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

It's ultimately up to the people to change the system.

When George Carlin is getting junked out of the room you know your site has jumped the shark

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 20:57 | 3238628 lotsoffun
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i think they call them 'birthers'?  but then again, taxpayers paid for this 50% rich boy's education, with a little help from the cia.  he done good the boy did.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 20:27 | 3238517 Hyde_The_Id
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The Zh'ers are apparently not much better. Why? See below... This article is actually interesting, and may even imply fundamental changes to us as a species. At the very lest the implications suggest our society, and or our politics, is changing.

The Chris Dorner Article had approx 30,000 reads, this one 400, at the time of starting this post.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 20:30 | 3238531 Seasmoke
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not only is time money......but it helps when comparing # of reads per article

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 20:28 | 3238520 trendybull459
trendybull459's picture injoy your last freedoms,read why in the near future you all will be leaving under much worth leader that Stalin was,Elite should prepare testoments,your last days counted FED,prepare for changes,working for change!Because most of you worthening midlle class conditions,you are blind in your greedy habits to leave some change to poor and middle,then you will loose all like it was many times in hystory under the New Order which not you,others will do very soon!

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 20:50 | 3238601 TheFourthStooge-ing
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Wording please do the makings henceforth to the structure in sentence. Comprehendabilted givings with gracious aplomb.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:18 | 3238689 ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

OHHH, you're trying to pretend your RUSSIAN!  My bad, It looked like faux Chinese at first.  Any relation to Boris Alatovkrap?


(A Russky with a lisp-now that IS a new one! -worthening)

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 23:25 | 3239323 Clever Name
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Hey, Boris is funny!

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 20:32 | 3238539 AldoHux_IV
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Can't wait to see all the finger pointing and big ups these assholes give each other in destroying this country. In other news, money management alone will save the monetary system for all who religiously abide by it. In other news yet, the state of the union is as it's ever been: fubar'd. More loquacious patriotism and the future of 'murica will make things right. Drinking games, live tweets, and fat poli-analysts jawjacking for the cheap seats!

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 20:33 | 3238547 Seasmoke
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i am just glad Makers Mark is ripping us off dropping to 84%.....less of a hangover

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 08:12 | 3239814 blindfaith
blindfaith's picture

well, go get ya self a Bud...improved with 8% additional water (after brewing).

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