The State Of The Union - Live Webcast

Tyler Durden's picture


Last year's 6,977 word homage to jobs provided just over an hour's worth of applause-impacted rhetoric create much ado - more with what was not said than what was said. This year's 9pmET speech will likely be dotted with hope, and change, and jobs, and congress, and of course our union is strong... because the S&P is up 16% since last year's SOTU. But, by our measurement from Bloomberg's data from December 2011 (the last NFP before 2012's SOTU) to January 2013 (this year's last NFP) - Non-Farm Payrolls (NSA) dropped from 133.292 million to 132.705 million (or a 587,000 job loss).




Full breakdown and summary to follow:


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Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:41 | 3238778 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Ugh no thank you. I'll wait for the word cloud.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:55 | 3238846 goldenbuddha454
goldenbuddha454's picture

Just start typing down what he's going to say before he says it and we'll score you.  Anyone can play and its fun!

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:59 | 3238862 nmewn
nmewn's picture

My subjects, I stand before you tonight to tell you the banana republic is strong!

(Applause from cronies)

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:03 | 3238872 Lukacko
Lukacko's picture

I picked up a pre-inflation bottle of Makers Mark today, it's going to be a long night!

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:05 | 3238881 Haywood Jablowme
Haywood Jablowme's picture

a shot for everytime the fuck-face says "assault"

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:21 | 3238952 flacon
flacon's picture

He mentioned the "Strong STOCK MARKET"! LOL! 


Observe John Boehner clapping. Hypocrite! 

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:23 | 3238974 john39
john39's picture

Orwellian nightmare....

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:36 | 3239053 SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

And the hypocrites all stand as one and applaud the King of Stupid...

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 23:17 | 3239269 Popo
Popo's picture

Returning manufacturing jobs to the USA and raising the minimum wage at the same time? Does not compute.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:20 | 3238958 zerozulu
Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:29 | 3238999 flacon
flacon's picture

No evidence that was Dorner holed up in there... Maybe it was some other nigger, or even a white guy. I don't think it was Obama though because he's busy telling us on TV that "We can't just CUT our way to prosperity".

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:44 | 3239102 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

they will weekend at bernie's him in there overnignt. 

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:57 | 3239164 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

i love that scene where they "take Bernie water-skiing." Mr. Dorner...say hello the Donner Party...

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 23:43 | 3239395 Jam Akin
Jam Akin's picture

Used to be home to a family that subsisted by delivering newspapers.  They should have caught "Dorner" when he was hosting the Grammys the other night.

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 00:43 | 3239542 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

We can just CUT the middle class out on our way to prosperity. - Fixed it for ya

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:29 | 3239011 a growing concern
a growing concern's picture

Pre-ban MM is going to hold a high premium in coming days.  I'm enjoying some myself... cheers

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 00:45 | 3239543 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

You vastly underestimated my livers ability to process toxins..............

(If you don't get his handle, or the gag, fuck off.) Archer bitchez......


Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:37 | 3239061 CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture

I bought a case. The 'old' bottles...i.e., the genuine stuff is going to be an (alcoholic's) collector's item.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:04 | 3238879 ACP
ACP's picture

Is our King going to say all that bullshit (from the bullet points) with a straight face? Props if he does.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:10 | 3238906 nmewn
nmewn's picture

He's so stupid or so full of himself, he actually believes it.

Take your pick ;-)

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:12 | 3238913 overmedicatedun...
overmedicatedundersexed's picture

it's not a lie if you believe it, g castanza.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:14 | 3238920 ACP
ACP's picture

I'm sure he actually actually makes me sick watching all those corrupt politicians - all of them - soiling one of our great institutions, walking before portraits of our Founding Fathers, while they plot the continued plundering of our Great United States.

What a pathetic display.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:17 | 3238938 nmewn
nmewn's picture

The beatings will continue until the morale improves.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:47 | 3239122 ACP
ACP's picture

Come on Ted Nugent, just stand up and yell, "I'm surrounded by ASSHOLES!"

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 23:11 | 3239236 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

My God, he's STILL talking.  This guy loves to hear himself talk.

Good night.

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 01:53 | 3239618 Rick64
Rick64's picture

The worst part is we have to pay those politicians, and not just while their in office but until they die. Ben start printing, if I have to pay for this shit I want to pay in deflated dollars.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:16 | 3238935 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

He is a narcissistic psychopath.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:39 | 3239076 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

...or an ignorant piece of shit...this mutherfucker will make one a know what i mean....

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:51 | 3239145 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

And a fucking Traitor........

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 23:15 | 3239255 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

a sadistic contradistic narcissistic.....

but that's the qualities the big boys are looking for

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:15 | 3238929 King_of_simpletons
King_of_simpletons's picture

Politicians pandering to the citizens. That's about it. After sweet talk, its business as usual.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 23:05 | 3239205 nofluer
nofluer's picture

I watched for a while but his constant head swiveling between teleprompters was making me queasy.... that or what he was saying was. Hard to tell.

I was waiting to see if he suddenly grabbed his throat and started to choke - which would indicate that he'd said something that was true.

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 01:46 | 3239614 Rick64
Rick64's picture

Its the discomfort of that hand up his ass. Being a puppet isn't easy.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 23:21 | 3239297 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

the banana republic is so ripe it tastes like cake and were starting to slip

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 23:20 | 3239288 Bandit und Buster
Bandit und Buster's picture

Reality: Just the opposite of what he says...

You know he's lying cause his lips are moving

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 23:20 | 3239290 Milestones
Milestones's picture

F*** you O'blah blah very much; you 2 bit 3rd rate step an fetchit. What an incredible pile of shit this punk spewed.         Milestones

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:43 | 3238791 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Can't we watch something else?

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:44 | 3238798 ReallySparky
ReallySparky's picture

Yeah Tyler, why the punishment?

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:50 | 3238822 true brain
true brain's picture

you lie.


enough said. the only truth tonight.

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 09:33 | 3239947 kill switch
kill switch's picture


I'd rather be dipped in gravey and thrown into a cage with a wolverine high on angle dust.



Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:56 | 3238849 Cabreado
Cabreado's picture

That was actually pretty funny...

But you don't have to listen to the lies -- tune them out, and take advantage of the opportunity to observe the collective, public behavior of the so-called "parties."

They know at this point that they are exposed (as organizations and as individuals), and they are somewhere between nervous and terrified.
Watch how the grand facade comes undone -- there is important information to be had.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:32 | 3239026 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Its a good point, I note with a certain amount of schadenfreude Karl Rove and McConnel attacking what is not THEM.

This is good...let the gutters run deep with...their ego's ;-)

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:13 | 3238916 suteibu
suteibu's picture

Yes.  Watching the burning cinders of Dorner's cabin would be a more accurate representation of the SOTU than listening to this charade.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:19 | 3238942 overmedicatedun...
overmedicatedundersexed's picture

do they even realize most watching are laughing at them and filled with disgust at the sight of these fucks.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:21 | 3238960 suteibu
suteibu's picture

With narcissists, they either don't know or don't care.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:19 | 3238945 Gidas19
Gidas19's picture

I have to shut this off, my Scarface "uncut edition" is downloading... 

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:44 | 3238794 OldE_Ant
OldE_Ant's picture

Give us your GUNS, GOLD, and GIRLS and everything will be GOOD!

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:20 | 3238953 cynicalskeptic
cynicalskeptic's picture

And with all the new i-Appliances coming to your home linked to the new data center in Utah we'll have Big Brother fully operational in no time.  Real-time surveillance in your home, GPS tracking via phone and car with added drone surveillance, in-depth psych and motivational profiles available via Facebook, Google and full internet, viewing and purchase histories.........  coupled with all kinds of drugs that put SOMA to shame.....


Orwell and Huxley underestimated what government is capable of.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 23:04 | 3239199 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

you mean "they underestimated what the speech writers were capable of." i think they had "Government" so defined down pretty good. Again..."cops..never there when you need them, always there when you don't." Thanx Mr. President! Don't worry...i won't be waiting in line to vote next time around either! Hell half the place damn near cleared out this past cycle.

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 09:42 | 3239965 kill switch
kill switch's picture


And of course the S M A R T meters, now there’s a charming piece of technology, tied into all the wonderful appliances,, full spectrum awareness Janet Totalitariano

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