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The State Of The Union - Live Webcast

Submitted by Tyler Durden on 02/12/2013 21:39 -0400

*OBAMA CALLS FOR MINIMUM WAGE TO INCREASE TO $9/HOUR

Last year's 6,977 word homage to jobs provided just over an hour's worth of applause-impacted rhetoric create much ado - more with what was not said than what was said. This year's 9pmET speech will likely be dotted with hope, and change, and jobs, and congress, and of course our union is strong... because the S&P is up 16% since last year's SOTU. But, by our measurement from Bloomberg's data from December 2011 (the last NFP before 2012's SOTU) to January 2013 (this year's last NFP) - Non-Farm Payrolls (NSA) dropped from 133.292 million to 132.705 million (or a 587,000 job loss).

*OBAMA SAYS `GENERATION'S TASK' IS TO BUILD STRONG MIDDLE CLASS
*OBAMA SAYS GOVERNMENT MUST WORK `ON BEHALF OF THE MANY' NOT FEW
*OBAMA SAYS PROPOSALS WILL NOT INCREASE DEFICIT BY `SINGLE DIME'
*OBAMA CALLS FOR `SMARTER GOVERNMENT' NOT `BIGGER GOVERNMENT'
*OBAMA ORDERS DHS TO DEVELOP REAL-TIME CYBERSECURITY RESPONSE

Enjoy...

Full breakdown and summary to follow:

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Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:41 | 3238778 Dr. Engali

Ugh no thank you. I'll wait for the word cloud.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:55 | 3238846 goldenbuddha454

Just start typing down what he's going to say before he says it and we'll score you. Anyone can play and its fun!

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:59 | 3238862 nmewn

My subjects, I stand before you tonight to tell you the banana republic is strong!

(Applause from cronies)

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:03 | 3238872 Lukacko

I picked up a pre-inflation bottle of Makers Mark today, it's going to be a long night!

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:05 | 3238881 Haywood Jablowme

a shot for everytime the fuck-face says "assault"

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:21 | 3238952 flacon

He mentioned the "Strong STOCK MARKET"! LOL!

Observe John Boehner clapping. Hypocrite!

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:23 | 3238974 john39

Orwellian nightmare....

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:36 | 3239053 SillySalesmanQu...

And the hypocrites all stand as one and applaud the King of Stupid...

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 23:17 | 3239269 Popo

Returning manufacturing jobs to the USA and raising the minimum wage at the same time? Does not compute.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:20 | 3238958 zerozulu

OT. I think Dorner is droned.

http://www.boston.com/news/nation/2013/02/12/manhunt/d5PKqYOzlEEaZuqg8JK...

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:29 | 3238999 flacon

No evidence that was Dorner holed up in there... Maybe it was some other nigger, or even a white guy. I don't think it was Obama though because he's busy telling us on TV that "We can't just CUT our way to prosperity".

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:44 | 3239102 fonzannoon

they will weekend at bernie's him in there overnignt.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:57 | 3239164 disabledvet

i love that scene where they "take Bernie water-skiing." Mr. Dorner...say hello the Donner Party...

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 23:43 | 3239395 Jam Akin

Used to be home to a family that subsisted by delivering newspapers. They should have caught "Dorner" when he was hosting the Grammys the other night.

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 00:43 | 3239542 Tijuana Donkey Show

We can just CUT the middle class out on our way to prosperity. - Fixed it for ya

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:29 | 3239011 a growing concern

Pre-ban MM is going to hold a high premium in coming days. I'm enjoying some myself... cheers

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 00:45 | 3239543 Tijuana Donkey Show

You vastly underestimated my livers ability to process toxins..............

(If you don't get his handle, or the gag, fuck off.) Archer bitchez......

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:37 | 3239061 CheapBastard

I bought a case. The 'old' bottles...i.e., the genuine stuff is going to be an (alcoholic's) collector's item.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:04 | 3238879 ACP

Is our King going to say all that bullshit (from the bullet points) with a straight face? Props if he does.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:10 | 3238906 nmewn

He's so stupid or so full of himself, he actually believes it.

Take your pick ;-)

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:12 | 3238913 overmedicatedun...

it's not a lie if you believe it, g castanza.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:14 | 3238920 ACP

I'm sure he actually does...it actually makes me sick watching all those corrupt politicians - all of them - soiling one of our great institutions, walking before portraits of our Founding Fathers, while they plot the continued plundering of our Great United States.

What a pathetic display.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:17 | 3238938 nmewn

The beatings will continue until the morale improves.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:47 | 3239122 ACP

Come on Ted Nugent, just stand up and yell, "I'm surrounded by ASSHOLES!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sen8Tn8CBA4

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 23:11 | 3239236 NoDebt

My God, he's STILL talking. This guy loves to hear himself talk.

Good night.

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 01:53 | 3239618 Rick64

The worst part is we have to pay those politicians, and not just while their in office but until they die. Ben start printing, if I have to pay for this shit I want to pay in deflated dollars.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:16 | 3238935 A Lunatic

He is a narcissistic psychopath.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:39 | 3239076 smlbizman

...or an ignorant piece of shit...this mutherfucker will make one a racist.....you know what i mean....

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:51 | 3239145 A Lunatic

And a fucking Traitor........

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 23:15 | 3239255 DaveyJones

a sadistic contradistic narcissistic.....

but that's the qualities the big boys are looking for

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:15 | 3238929 King_of_simpletons

Politicians pandering to the citizens. That's about it. After sweet talk, its business as usual.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 23:05 | 3239205 nofluer

I watched for a while but his constant head swiveling between teleprompters was making me queasy.... that or what he was saying was. Hard to tell.

I was waiting to see if he suddenly grabbed his throat and started to choke - which would indicate that he'd said something that was true.

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 01:46 | 3239614 Rick64

Its the discomfort of that hand up his ass. Being a puppet isn't easy.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 23:21 | 3239297 DaveyJones

the banana republic is so ripe it tastes like cake and were starting to slip

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 23:20 | 3239288 Bandit und Buster

Reality: Just the opposite of what he says...

You know he's lying cause his lips are moving

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 23:20 | 3239290 Milestones

F*** you O'blah blah very much; you 2 bit 3rd rate step an fetchit. What an incredible pile of shit this punk spewed. Milestones

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:43 | 3238791 q99x2

Can't we watch something else?

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:44 | 3238798 ReallySparky

Yeah Tyler, why the punishment?

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:50 | 3238822 true brain

you lie.

enough said. the only truth tonight.

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 09:33 | 3239947 kill switch

I'd rather be dipped in gravey and thrown into a cage with a wolverine high on angle dust.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:56 | 3238849 Cabreado

That was actually pretty funny...

But you don't have to listen to the lies -- tune them out, and take advantage of the opportunity to observe the collective, public behavior of the so-called "parties."

They know at this point that they are exposed (as organizations and as individuals), and they are somewhere between nervous and terrified.
Watch how the grand facade comes undone -- there is important information to be had.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:32 | 3239026 nmewn

Its a good point, I note with a certain amount of schadenfreude Karl Rove and McConnel attacking what is not THEM.

This is good...let the gutters run deep with...their ego's ;-)

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:13 | 3238916 suteibu

Yes. Watching the burning cinders of Dorner's cabin would be a more accurate representation of the SOTU than listening to this charade.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:19 | 3238942 overmedicatedun...

do they even realize most watching are laughing at them and filled with disgust at the sight of these fucks.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:21 | 3238960 suteibu

With narcissists, they either don't know or don't care.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:19 | 3238945 Gidas19

I have to shut this off, my Scarface "uncut edition" is downloading...

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:44 | 3238794 OldE_Ant

Give us your GUNS, GOLD, and GIRLS and everything will be GOOD!

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:20 | 3238953 cynicalskeptic

And with all the new i-Appliances coming to your home linked to the new data center in Utah we'll have Big Brother fully operational in no time. Real-time surveillance in your home, GPS tracking via phone and car with added drone surveillance, in-depth psych and motivational profiles available via Facebook, Google and full internet, viewing and purchase histories......... coupled with all kinds of drugs that put SOMA to shame.....

Orwell and Huxley underestimated what government is capable of.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 23:04 | 3239199 disabledvet

you mean "they underestimated what the speech writers were capable of." i think they had "Government" so defined down pretty good. Again..."cops..never there when you need them, always there when you don't." Thanx Mr. President! Don't worry...i won't be waiting in line to vote next time around either! Hell half the place damn near cleared out this past cycle. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=co6-tYS9k1U

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 09:42 | 3239965 kill switch

And of course the S M A R T meters, now there’s a charming piece of technology, tied into all the wonderful appliances,, full spectrum awareness Janet Totalitariano

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 23:28 | 3239336 ISEEIT

Pretty funny huh? The Nigger way includes absolute victory.

Good luck with that:)

Enjoy the leftovers.........

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 09:57 | 3239986 kill switch

Some may say that the nigger word is inappropriate, but fuck it, in this case, it is abundantly appropriate.. Just let your mind wander through all the lies and murder this shithead has caused, and you get mt point. Now he want's to turn the terror apparatus on us, and all the cockroaches stand

and applaud, this is really fucked up. Me thinks

The kill switch

P.S. I suppose he will have to recoup with a trip to the Birth Certificate state for R and R

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:43 | 3238796 Yes We Can. But...

he's been blabbing about having a laser-like focus on jobs since the day he imposed himself on the country

his laser is vaporizin jobs.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:49 | 3238816 Money 4 Nothing

is that why Obama just closed down the multimillion dollar Job Office?

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:12 | 3238911 nmewn

Another hard pivot.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 23:19 | 3239284 DaveyJones

it's like a field sobriety test

drunk with (false) power

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:45 | 3238801 A Lunatic

Can't wait for Uncle Ted's catcalls from the audience............

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:00 | 3238863 dick cheneys ghost

hope he is wearing his 'loincloth'

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:46 | 3238807 Atomizer

Soon you will watch the Statist of the Union address. Watch very closely.

An excerpt from The Phil Donahue show (1979) where Milton Friedman talks in short about Capitalism and Socialism and what impact it has on societies.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:47 | 3238810 fonzannoon

looks like they are ending the Dorner show just in time.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:52 | 3238827 Dr. Engali

Their false flags just keep getting more realistic with every new episode. The empire has learned a lot from Hollywood.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:40 | 3239080 knukles

All Hail "Director" Kubrick

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:47 | 3238814 ZeroAvatar

Get ready for an Orwellian Hypno-Trance speech with lots of words but very little real meaning.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:50 | 3238821 Kingkongballs827

PVC Gun Burial Tube. Holds 3 long rifles Ak47, SKS, AR15 plus ammo and gold & silver. Check it out here.

http://www.ebay.com/itm/160970141105?ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1555.l2649

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:17 | 3238937 Stares straight...

If we have to bury the guns, we have already lost.

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 01:04 | 3239573 JungleJim

Bury the traitors destroying the Constitution ...

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:46 | 3239120 jwoop66

Nice, $10.00 worth of PVC for only a few hundred! Sign me Up!!!

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:51 | 3238823 Conax

Gluttons for punishment, the lot of you.

I'll wait for the recaps.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:54 | 3238838 Spacemoose

and i stayed late at work just so i could drive home with the radio off.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:52 | 3238828 ZeroAvatar

I'd rather hear Shannon Sharpe sing Careless Whisper by Wham.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:55 | 3238839 overmedicatedun...

why does this cypher remind me so of mussolini? jpray his end may be the same. or a burning cabin in the snowy hills would work.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:20 | 3238957 ReallySparky

@ Zero. You owe me an iPad. I just spit my drink all over it. Too funny.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:38 | 3239069 jcaz

Agreed- Zero wins the prize tonight- epic line, dude!

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:53 | 3238830 ziggy59

The SOTU Is FUBAR

NUFF said

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:53 | 3238832 cherry picker

How many times has he said this type of stuff and when it comes to action we feel like we got screwed?

Obama lost any credibility he had with me years ago when he decided to walk in Georgee W's shoes instead of practicing what he preached.

Tonight you don't need a word cloud. All it is, is hot air.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:54 | 3238835 Dr. Engali

I wonder if he will be late.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:54 | 3238841 dick cheneys ghost

How many times will O'bummer say the word "fiat"?

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 23:19 | 3239281 TuesdayBen

only if he announces, with characteristic hollow hubris, that Fiat rolls out an all lectric car funded with $50B of our money

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:55 | 3238843 Money 4 Nothing

http://www.mediafire.com/?odh9j0ouxjjaw

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:55 | 3238847 walcott

fullbreakdown alright while the cabin burns.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:57 | 3238851 goldenbuddha454

Boooooo! Hisssssss! Has he started yet?

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:59 | 3238859 overmedicatedun...

if just one capital policeman were to go dorner on that chamber tonight ,,oh the humanity

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 00:53 | 3239553 Tijuana Donkey Show

Reality is that none of them carry live rounds. No one is armed anywhere near that room.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:57 | 3238853 brokesville

dorner is more interesting

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:13 | 3238918 A Lunatic

There is no Dorner......

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:28 | 3238995 Rattling Bones

And his cabin is in a better state than the Union.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:00 | 3238860 walcott

We the government request fullcavity searches all around for mein furher.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:02 | 3238869 ultraticum

Never was a grander assemblage of complete idiot douche bags convened.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 23:23 | 3239309 DaveyJones

...until next year

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:02 | 3238873 Blame Crash

It’s all just theater with a whole lot of really bad acting!

But the $hit show must go on.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:02 | 3238874 GOSPLAN HERO

Just more Neo-Marxist bullshit.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:05 | 3238880 yogibear

Simple, Obama has his monkeys at the Fed print and he just spends. Now back to regular scheduled program muppets.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:33 | 3239029 ZeroAvatar

This Just In: Burning cabin belongs to Clyde, the Orangutang in "Every Which Way But Loose". Dorner still on the loose:

http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=picture+of+clyde+every+which+way+but...

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 00:55 | 3239557 Tijuana Donkey Show

But did Eastwood ever fuck the monkey? People wanna know...

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:13 | 3238883 hooligan2009

why does congress even have to be there? is there heaps of tax payer funded beer and pretzels?

(they didnt make that...and michelles dress makes her ass look big!)

i bet he wont say "i have a plan to reduce debt to gdp from 100% of GDP to 50% of GDP in my term as president, because congress keeps fucking up!"

just the odd 7 minutes of shaking hands with people he hasnt seen in minutes....what a joke!

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:24 | 3238980 lakecity55

Good question. I thought he'd already gotten rid of Congress (or was it the SCOTUS?)

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:05 | 3238884 Seasmoke

hey, what was the name of that ex-cop, who shot some LA police ????

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:14 | 3238927 hooligan2009

chris dorner

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:41 | 3239082 Buckaroo Banzai

His name was Chris Dorner.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 23:36 | 3239369 hooligan2009

yep, was... http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/12/chris-dorner-dead_n_2649763.htm...

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:05 | 3238885 Likstane

I'd rather watch my uncle Jimmy's ass crack than one minute of this self-congratulatory puke festival.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:08 | 3238898 syntaxterror

Have you ever seen so many thieving, manipulating scammers in one room together?

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:57 | 3239161 rqb1

Yes, on wall st

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:10 | 3238903 Blame Crash

Do you think any of those well dressed hicks we’re seeing milling about really believe any of the blatherings of the Reality TV Highness’s? Or is it all about being “seen”?

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:10 | 3238905 nathan1234

President of Lies

Full of B.S.

Trusting him is akin to trusting his drones policy.

The law and the Constitution no longer exists

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:36 | 3238963 lakecity55

I wonder if satan has fully possessed him yet, or waiting for a more opportune moment.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:10 | 3238907 ultraticum

The perp walk just began.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:36 | 3239058 ZeroAvatar

Clinton just walked out?

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:12 | 3238912 syntaxterror

Fuck him and his non-stop campaign.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:13 | 3238914 EscapingProgress

According to CBS Obama wants $9/hr minimum wage (in spite of econ 101) and pre-Kindergarten gov't schooling (Give me the child until he is seven and I’ll give you the man).

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:44 | 3239101 Buckaroo Banzai

Fuck it, what a piker Obama is. Why stop at $9/hour? Hell, why not $15/hour? Or $30/hour?

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 23:08 | 3239217 post turtle saver

Agree, if this is all it takes to make people better off then make it $100 and hour and *bam* instant middle class, just add paper... http://steshaw.org/economics-in-one-lesson/chap19p1.html

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 23:21 | 3239299 Bad Attitude

Dear Leader must secretly hate blacks considering all of the policies he supports and promotes which disproportionately harms blacks. A nine dollar minimum wage will make black unemployment even higher than it is now.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:13 | 3238915 Teamtc321

I'm playing catch with my cow dog, going to go feed and comb the colt's at the house pasture. The horse shit in and near the round pen and barn, will smell better than what come's out of this gun grabbing, horses ass mouth.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:13 | 3238917 adeptish

Oh for a hafnium micronuke in that room right now.

President Chu, come on down...!!!

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:13 | 3238919 FleaMarketPete

Obama catering to his base...blacks.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:28 | 3238998 MiltonFriedmans...

I wouldn't attempt to classify his base along racial lines; let's just call them brain dead and leave it at that.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:39 | 3239078 ZeroAvatar

I would purport that classifying his base along racial lines is a fair approximation of reality.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:45 | 3239115 Buckaroo Banzai

Well, I guess that makes us a nation of wiggers then.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:49 | 3239135 knukles

To obviate any even ever so slight misinterpretation of a comment being considered as racist, let's just here on out call them "The Free Shit Army^tm"

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:52 | 3239144 knukles

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:14 | 3238921 Randy Goodnight

Who cares about Obummer. What happened to the cop killer? Did they get him?

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:13 | 3238922 Andy_Jackson_Jihad

Nigs is late?

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:46 | 3239121 Buckaroo Banzai

Did you forget that the address was scheduled to start at 9pm CPT?

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 00:59 | 3239566 Tijuana Donkey Show

I'm old enough to get that gag. It's like LOL, but more subtile.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:14 | 3238924 walcott

THE STATE OF THE UNION ABSOLUTELY FUCKING SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:14 | 3238925 mickeyman

"There has been a lot of irrational speculation in the price of certain commodities recently. Our government remains committed to reducing the price of gold to $300/oz where it belongs!"

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:14 | 3238926 Oldballplayer

This douche always uses the term "investment." But has this homo ever had to present an ROI justification to a prick comptroller?

Is it wrong to channel Tom Clancy?

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:49 | 3239131 Buckaroo Banzai

It's like when they refer to tax "revenues."

Hey you fuckers: revenues are EARNED. Taxes are CONFISCATED.

It's fucking Orwellian what they do to the language.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:15 | 3238928 topspinslicer

Like the song says, If I had a rocket launcher....

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 23:04 | 3239203 Wannabee

+100 for Bruce Cochburn reference...!

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:15 | 3238930 taxpayer102

Teleprompter is ON

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:15 | 3238931 foodstampbarry

Hey idiot, do everybody an favor and resign!

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:21 | 3238966 Papasmurf

Consider who would take his place.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:15 | 3238932 mickeyman

He hasn't quite got the whole God-King persona thing down. But he sure can smite, I'll give him that.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:16 | 3238934 RideTheWalrus

Vomit buckets at the ready

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:18 | 3238940 rahbii

Americans are coming home....in coffins

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:18 | 3238941 RideTheWalrus

I hope Dorner swings in on a chandellier with a mask covering his half burnt face.
OR
Ted Nugent stands up and dares someone to suck his dick to prove he's a moderate.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:19 | 3238943 lakecity55

The Hero of Big Bear speaks!

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:19 | 3238944 Mr. Magoo