The State Of The Union - Live Webcast

Tyler Durden's picture




 
  • *OBAMA CALLS FOR MINIMUM WAGE TO INCREASE TO $9/HOUR

Last year's 6,977 word homage to jobs provided just over an hour's worth of applause-impacted rhetoric create much ado - more with what was not said than what was said. This year's 9pmET speech will likely be dotted with hope, and change, and jobs, and congress, and of course our union is strong... because the S&P is up 16% since last year's SOTU. But, by our measurement from Bloomberg's data from December 2011 (the last NFP before 2012's SOTU) to January 2013 (this year's last NFP) - Non-Farm Payrolls (NSA) dropped from 133.292 million to 132.705 million (or a 587,000 job loss).

  • *OBAMA SAYS `GENERATION'S TASK' IS TO BUILD STRONG MIDDLE CLASS
  • *OBAMA SAYS GOVERNMENT MUST WORK `ON BEHALF OF THE MANY' NOT FEW
  • *OBAMA SAYS PROPOSALS WILL NOT INCREASE DEFICIT BY `SINGLE DIME'
  • *OBAMA CALLS FOR `SMARTER GOVERNMENT' NOT `BIGGER GOVERNMENT'
  • *OBAMA ORDERS DHS TO DEVELOP REAL-TIME CYBERSECURITY RESPONSE

Enjoy...

 

Full breakdown and summary to follow:

 

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Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:32 | 3239027 notadouche
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"Government must work on behalf of the many instead of the few".   He believes we think he is referring ignoring the few elites for the benefit of the masses.  We really know he means fuck the civillian and their individual freedoms in order to protect the status quo.   I think Spock issued those same sentiments as he put himself in a radiation chamber to protect the Enterprise crew.  It sounds good until you are one of the few getting fucked over due to eminent domain and shit like that.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 23:06 | 3239207 ZeroAvatar
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"From the few, according to their ability, to the many, according to their needs".

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 00:02 | 3239467 notadouche
notadouche's picture

Marxism anyone?

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:33 | 3239030 Oldballplayer
Oldballplayer's picture

Lots of little labs in the basements all around America. In the backwoods. In the out buildings.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:33 | 3239033 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

 

 

On a wing of the temple...

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:33 | 3239034 walcott
walcott's picture

MUMMY CONVENTION AT THE PYRAMID OF DOOM.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:33 | 3239036 notadouche
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Is there a light telling them to stand and clap?

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 23:08 | 3239221 ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

Naw, it's a picture of Kim Jong Un.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:33 | 3239037 Spaceman Spiff
Spaceman Spiff's picture

"Since Dems invited Americans recently victimized to SOTU, GOP shd have brought a middle class worker."  LI

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:33 | 3239039 RideTheWalrus
RideTheWalrus's picture

Who's going to burst into flames first?

 

 

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:45 | 3239054 Spaceman Spiff
Spaceman Spiff's picture

Hopefully God didn't spend all his energy hitting the Vatican with a lightning bolt...   

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:40 | 3239041 notadouche
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Investments in Energy.  Solyndra anyone?

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:35 | 3239043 CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture

He didn't write that speech.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:35 | 3239049 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

 

 

+1 Brilliant comment, CB.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:35 | 3239044 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

 

 

doubled mpg?  What is Mooschelle putting in his cigs to cause such hallucinations?

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:36 | 3239052 overmedicatedun...
overmedicatedundersexed's picture

has he got to a chicken in every pot yet? i love that part.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:35 | 3239046 suteibu
suteibu's picture

Oh, dear God...climate change.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:35 | 3239047 GrinandBearit
GrinandBearit's picture

The claptrap and retoric this man spews truly makes me ill.

 

He just said "climate change"... that's it, I cannot take it anymore!

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:36 | 3239055 suteibu
suteibu's picture

Because consensus is science when one talks about the economy and the climate.  Not so much for moon shots.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:36 | 3239056 magpie
magpie's picture

why is boehner without that green ribbon

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:36 | 3239059 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

 

 

"Executive actions" means "ignore the Constitution"

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:37 | 3239062 ebworthen
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He basically just said he will, via Executive Order (Imperial Decree), circumvent Congress to stop Global Warming and anything else he damn well pleases.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:37 | 3239064 Lotus
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Boehner looks like he's holding a chainsaw on his lap and has one hand on the pull cord.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:38 | 3239071 mayhem_korner
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You say that as if you're not...

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:38 | 3239066 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

Joe Biden's eyes look crazy freaky.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 23:05 | 3239202 jcaz
jcaz's picture

...That's why Barry is the safest man in America......

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:38 | 3239067 rhinoblitzing
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Executive Action to Reduce Pollution...

Try starting with those "His and Her" 747's you got parked in the driveway.

And... speaking of AF1 - Since when does the 1st lady get exclusive use of AF1?

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:39 | 3239072 Andy_Jackson_Jihad
Andy_Jackson_Jihad's picture

Windmills will be to the western societies as those big stone heads are to easter island.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 23:49 | 3239421 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

i had a stone head once...oh wait...

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:39 | 3239075 notadouche
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Carbon energy threatens our planet but if you pay enough to the climate exchange, we will give you a voucher to pass.   

Warmest weather on record.  Of course record keeping out of some 4.5 billion years of earth's existance is statistically insignificant.

Cut energy use by homes.  We've installed smart meters in order to control the temperature in your house because we know what you need better than you do.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 23:51 | 3239426 Blankenstein
Blankenstein's picture

+1000

 

Carbon credits are just the latest scheme of the .01% to steal what wealth is left of the 99%.  Charge companies enormous fees for the credits, the costs of which are just passed on to the consumer - i.e. the middle class and poor. 

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:40 | 3239077 Michelle
Michelle's picture

Complete lack of enthusiasm even from his own party. Quite a shift from past years.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:41 | 3239081 goldenbuddha454
goldenbuddha454's picture

America aint buyin what you're sellin!

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:41 | 3239084 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

HoLee Phuk     -Confucius-

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:41 | 3239085 EscapingProgress
EscapingProgress's picture

Obama wants to cut wasted household energy usage with federal "assistance" which means energy rationing. SMART METERS FOR EVERYONE!!!

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:41 | 3239087 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

 

 

3000 might just get my dog a respectable abode...

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:42 | 3239093 imapopulistnow
imapopulistnow's picture

I must have dozed off and missed the jobs part of the speech....

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 23:14 | 3239254 ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

You need to use toothpicks to keep your eyelids open like Biden does.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:42 | 3239094 RideTheWalrus
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Hey guys, i dunno but the way Obama's talking....i think it's all going to be OK!

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 23:28 | 3239268 ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

SEE!  The Orwellian Hypno-TranceTM method works!

 

*Side effects include projectile vomiting, insomnia, sleepwalking, ashen appearance, droopy eyes, distended forearms, outbursts of rage, bloodshot eyeballs, possibility of voting more than once, calling people 'saviour', and a general overall unexplained euphoria.  See your psychotherapist if conditions last longer than a few years, or if you have sudden urges to 'Unchain Django'.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:43 | 3239095 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"Efficient buildings and government support to help make this happen."

Bullish for Solyndra like black-hole contracts that benefit the crony capitalists - all at the taxpayer expense.

Let's see, GE?  Obummer said Siemens?  Isn't that a German company mein Fuhrer, or are there any boundaries anymore?

OMFG - now he is talking about ginning up the loans to homeowners to blow the fucking housing bubble up all over again!!!

OMFG!!!  Are you kidding me!!!  Fannie/Freddie and the banks that sell MBS's and blew the housing bubble leading up to the 2008 debacle are popping the champagne bottles!!!

Oh, and here comes the new jizz for Education, Higher Education, student loans, etc., etc., etc.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:43 | 3239096 Room 101
Room 101's picture

Tyler: Zero Hedge is a great website with awesome articles, smart comments, and a great gang of folks that make reading it a real joy.  So given all that, why are you posting an article on the sotu? 

I don't get it.    

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:44 | 3239108 Andy_Jackson_Jihad
Andy_Jackson_Jihad's picture

The staff has a contest to see who can get the most replies with the word "nigger" on an article.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 23:02 | 3239186 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Whoever down voted that are pussies.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:43 | 3239097 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

 

 

Is he going to work with all 57 states on education?

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 23:23 | 3239303 Teamtc321
Teamtc321's picture

I think he said they will have to pass it before they can read it.................

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:43 | 3239098 Andy_Jackson_Jihad
Andy_Jackson_Jihad's picture

Fuck these youtube propaganda graphics next to the blue-lipped clown handing out free candy. 

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:43 | 3239100 QQQBall
QQQBall's picture

I wish they had a sidebar with a running total of the costs - kinda like the debt clock... it would be spinning like a mofo.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:44 | 3239103 cherry picker
cherry picker's picture

All I hear is more laws, regulations, spending more coin.

And people thought Dormer was psycho

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:44 | 3239104 Oldballplayer
Oldballplayer's picture

Really? How about we let 4 year olds play in the sandbox. Face it, you want free day care so these lazy fucks can make more babies.

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