The Thinking, Drinking, And Gambling Man's Guide To The State Of The Union

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Over the past couple of hundred years, the State of the Union has been enjoyed by pamphlet, radio, TV, and webcast and each and every year, the citizenry has sat avidly awaiting their 'word' to come up on SOTU Bingo or for the bets they made on the average length to be confirmed. As WaPo notes, the average minutes spent on the address has grown from a mere 36:53 under President Jimmy Carter up to 1 hour and 5 minutes under the current president. From comparisons of various word frequencies (e.g. tax vs cut or job vs hope) to the ultimate SOTU Drinking Game, and from an 51/53 minute over/under to the color of Obama's tie, below is everything you need to know about SOTU but were absolutely embarrassed to ask...

Very interesting word comparisons across ALL of the speeches (h/t SOTU)

 

and the average speech length for the past 50 years... (Barack Obama average speech length 1:05:21)...

 

and the speech length has risen from Carter onwards...

 

and the drinking game...click image for full size image (Via DrinkingGame)

 

BINGO for the kids... (via CEPR)

 

and Paddy Power offers the following odds on these wonderful cliches...

Cliché Betting: What Will Obama say first?

8/1     We have more work to do
10/1     Health care reform
10/1     As I stand here today
12/1     Fundamental belief
12/1     God bless America
12/1     Crossroads of history
12/1     Defining moment
12/1     Make Washington work
14/1     Common purpose
16/1     Pursuit of happiness
16/1     Building a better America
16/1     Reduce the deficit
18/1     War on terror
18/1     It won't be easy
18/1     Hungry for change
18/1     My civil liberties
20/1     Honor for me
20/1     I have a dream
20/1     Willing to listen to each other
20/1     Yes, we can
20/1     Don't get me wrong
25/1     Hard to believe
25/1     I'm fired up
25/1     Withdraw our troops
25/1     There are better days ahead
25/1     Do-nothing Congress
25/1     We'll have to make hard choices
25/1     We can be one people
25/1     A new direction

Enjoy - full live webcast to follow...

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Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:56 | 3238848 Michelle
Michelle's picture

Hell, I had to get liquored up just to listen to the damn thing and if I have the timing right in just about 65 minutes I will be puking on the kitchen floor.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:18 | 3238939 thisandthat
thisandthat's picture

Et tu, Michelle?

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:48 | 3239128 Michelle
Michelle's picture

Even I...

Getting closer....

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 00:03 | 3239472 thisandthat
thisandthat's picture

Four more years, eh? I'd offer you a glass of 1980 port, to sweeten the wait, but unfortunately, all that's left of it are the memories and an empty bottle... :(

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 21:59 | 3238858 sunnyside
sunnyside's picture

Octopussy on REELZ channel.  Much nicer fucking.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:01 | 3238870 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

I'm going to suffer through this asshole's speech so I can tear it apart here on ZH.

It's going to be some heavy lifting, but I do what I can for what is left of the Republic.

Just saw Eric Fucking Holder walk in as if he had anything to do with Justice.  Fucking worthless piece of shit.

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 02:34 | 3239659 Manic by Proxy
Manic by Proxy's picture

It is my considered opinion that referring to Eric Holder as a fucking worthless piece of shit is an insult to fucking worthless pieces of shit everywhere.

Sincerely,

A. Fucking Worthless,  POS

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 08:33 | 3239849 Umh
Umh's picture

It's easier, faster and less aggravating to read the damn thing.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:06 | 3238887 Jena
Jena's picture

If I were forced to listen to Obama, I'd play the drinking game.  Luckily for my liver, I can just drink in peace and at a more moderate pace.

 

Cheers!

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:07 | 3238893 stinkhammer
stinkhammer's picture

janet napalitano eats children i've heard

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:14 | 3238923 Tsar Pointless
Tsar Pointless's picture

I don't have the desire to drink tonight, and I have to get up early.

So, therefore, I will not be watching the SOTU address, thereby saving both my sanity and my liver further damage.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:20 | 3238947 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"After a decade of grinding war, our Men and Women are coming home."

Um...not 6,000+ of them.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:21 | 3238964 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"Send in the Clowns..."

Oh wait...

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:28 | 3239002 Curt W
Curt W's picture

jeez 3 shots in the same sentence over and over.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:34 | 3239038 CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture

Dumped moar today. Any stocks I made over 20% I dumped....not taking any chances in this lunatic market. Now I'm down to less then 15% in equities.

 

I can sleep happily tonight.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:42 | 3239089 JohnG
JohnG's picture

I'll just take frequent shots of 101.  Numbs the pain.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:45 | 3239110 Curt W
Curt W's picture

Take unions out of schools so crappy teachers can get fired.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 22:57 | 3239162 Vooter
Vooter's picture

Why would anyone watch this shit?

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 00:32 | 3239523 Curt W
Curt W's picture

It was not easy.  In fact I gave up after 52 minures after they started talking about an individual, instead of the Union.

Tue, 02/12/2013 - 23:01 | 3239184 Ness.
Ness.'s picture

No he diin't... Russia?  Russian's aren't ascared of darkie.

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 02:19 | 3239645 Manic by Proxy
Manic by Proxy's picture

To the Cliche Betting list, add Oback's favorite hackney "extraordinary"

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 05:55 | 3239722 NuYawkFrankie
NuYawkFrankie's picture

Never saw it.

Didn't wanna risk upchucking after a 12-pack of Olde English "800".

Were they all wearing their clapping-seal outfits?

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 08:33 | 3239848 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Sooner or later, every country must suffer a murderous, pyschotic, satanic dictator.

I guess it's our turn in the barrel.

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 10:25 | 3240080 Killer the Buzzard
Killer the Buzzard's picture

What happened to "make no mistake" for the cliches?  That one absolutely makes me grind my teeth.

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