23% Of America Is Illiterate

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Following on the heels of the dumbing down of the State of the Union speech we noted yesterday, we thought a simple visualization of just how stunningly poor our nation's reading skills really are would be useful. One in five Americans lacks the basic reading skills beyond a 4th grade level - are you one of them?

 

 

Source: http://www.onlinecollegecourses.com

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Wed, 02/13/2013 - 21:29 | 3241690 Supernova Born
Supernova Born's picture

Illiterate masses fuel .gov power like no other group.

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 21:31 | 3241699 Say What Again
Say What Again's picture

I know how to write good.

I can read anything as long as there are no more than 140 characters.

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 21:33 | 3241709 Stackers
Stackers's picture

What does illiterate mean ?

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 21:36 | 3241727 Say What Again
Say What Again's picture

It means they are ill -AND- terate (I suggest you google terate on your own)

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 21:47 | 3241751 economics9698
economics9698's picture

Go to any pre-algebra class, 25% will not have a clue.

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 21:52 | 3241768 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

Or how to calculate a percentage.

 

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 21:57 | 3241783 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Que? No hablas Ingles!

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 22:01 | 3241798 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

.

Que? No hablas Ingles!

Dang, looks like ain't nobody never learned you no good english.

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 22:36 | 3241893 erg
erg's picture

That's unpossible. America is perfectly cromulent.

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 22:58 | 3241948 mick68
mick68's picture

23% of America is illiterate.

 

Edit 93% of America is illiterate. *Fixed*

 

90% of Americans don't know the difference between there, their, and they're. Grade 3 english.

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 23:14 | 3241974 erg
erg's picture

The collective doltishness of the flock has transposed the meaning of lose and loose.

It is mostly wrong for so long as to become endemic. The new normal.

Entropy reigns supreme.

Thu, 02/14/2013 - 00:22 | 3242137 Boris Alatovkrap
Boris Alatovkrap's picture

Boris is not understand what your talking about! Their are too many English words for sound same. Its too hard!

 

(See what Boris do!? Is make self-deprecating statement of ironic humor!)

Thu, 02/14/2013 - 00:57 | 3242149 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

In other news, 23% of government employees are literate.

Grow that government larger, ObaMao! Yes you can! You're going to bring about a "smarter, more efficient government" just as you will surely bring 1 million electric vehicles to America's roads by 2015 (as promised in your 2009 SOTU, but...hmmmm...not mentioned last night).

Associated Press Photo of President's convoy driving to the Capitol Hill Building for last night's State of The Union Address

In other news, it's nice to see the dot.com 2.0 bubble back and bigger than ever, as television ads for every future failure of a company from Seamless.com to musicMagpie, and every asinine company in between, are back on the air.

But, I'm probably wrong, as "most of these Winners of the New World 2.0 companies don't even have earnings per share," and the Muppets will all grow increasingly wealthy on a permanently rising slope!

I do hope that the Bernank can maintain his "virtuous circle jerk" at least until he's no longer the Fed Head, for the sake of his illustrious legacy.

Thu, 02/14/2013 - 11:09 | 3242998 nofluer
nofluer's picture

If you loose an arrow and don't watch it, you could lose it.

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 23:12 | 3241980 MachoMan
MachoMan's picture

I have no doubt that 23% of america is illiterate...  the problem is that this is an irrelevant statistic when 85% of americans are fucking retarded (and I'm being generous).

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 23:18 | 3241994 Supernova Born
Supernova Born's picture

I really think the illiterate need to chime in here.

Talk about a one-sided discussion!

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 23:26 | 3242012 DriveByLurker
DriveByLurker's picture

They'll post rebutals on YouTube, the soapbox for the illiterate.

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 23:40 | 3242049 Sean7k
Sean7k's picture

If they are going to point out the best and worst towns, don't you think they could place them on a map correctly? Should we add geography too?

Thu, 02/14/2013 - 00:09 | 3242103 SafelyGraze
SafelyGraze's picture

"23% Of America Is Illiterate"

.. and the other 84% can't do math so good

Thu, 02/14/2013 - 00:13 | 3242109 rfaze
rfaze's picture

If 2/3 dropped out of high school that means 1/3 have high school degrees and cann't read. 

I wonder how many have college degrees? ( In economics) 

Thu, 02/14/2013 - 14:11 | 3243638 Matt
Matt's picture

No Child Left Behind! Whether they can read or not!

Thu, 02/14/2013 - 06:37 | 3242507 new game
new game's picture

90 percent of them have a smart phone-any corelation?

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 23:38 | 3242042 mess nonster
mess nonster's picture

qjbevf;o' boi;jrv;jjrbv':K;kk2k4ejbnvq3tr;b'

Thu, 02/14/2013 - 11:26 | 3243053 nofluer
nofluer's picture

The funding for the proposed "Chime Provision for the Poor and Illiterate" bill was blocked in committe.

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 23:19 | 3241997 Water Is Wet
Water Is Wet's picture

Humans aren't smart individually, not even you.  Man's body of work is brilliant (look at anything on wikipedia), but get anyone outside their comfort zone and they are "fucking retarded."  So congratulations on observing the obvious.

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 23:25 | 3242010 forexskin
forexskin's picture

you didn't say that.

Thu, 02/14/2013 - 00:04 | 3242088 Water Is Wet
Water Is Wet's picture

You're right.  In all the words in that post, I didn't use the word "that."  Congratulations to you, too, for observing the obvious.

You didn't say shitmuffin.

Thu, 02/14/2013 - 00:05 | 3242096 THX 1178
THX 1178's picture

I believe the correct phrase is, "You aint sed that."

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 23:27 | 3242018 Matt
Matt's picture

I think you have this bass akwards. Large groups of people are only as smart as the least of them. In a riot, both the rioters and the riot police demonstrate the mentality of the least of them. Only individuals can show intelligence. Humanity as a whole seems no better, and in some ways worse, than yeast.

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 23:56 | 3242073 Water Is Wet
Water Is Wet's picture

Rioting is an extreme condition, and I don't think your conjecture that all exhibit the quality of the least is valid.  Yeast has not invented technology and dominated the planet the way man has.  Every "intelligent"/"smart" person made some incremental steps past the multitude of all knowledge recorded through history up to that point.  I really don't think anyone is remarkably "intelligent."  Idiot savants have their unique facets, but I don't consider them smart necessarily, either.

Thu, 02/14/2013 - 00:46 | 3242206 Swarmee
Swarmee's picture

I dunno, it seems to me yeast have trained us humans quite well in perpetuating their kind. It turns out certain wines get specific flavor characteristics from the yeast strains which live in wasp stomachs and are transferred to the grapes when wasps eat them. So vintners tolerate the wasps to preserve their wine flavor and the wasp-yeast benefits.

Thu, 02/14/2013 - 01:54 | 3242322 Matt
Matt's picture

Name one technology that was co-created by a committee of 1 Billion people and I will concede your point.

1 person can be a genius.

Think of deciding which restaurant to eat at with 6 other people.

Now think of any meeting you sat in with 20+ people.

Sure, everything is based on what came before, but each invention is the work of one or a small number of people thinking at once, not the work of a committee of people sitting around looking for a 50%+1 vote.

Individuals can choose whether to have children, how many to have, etc. Humanity as a whole multiplies to the maximum amount of food and resources available.

The larger a group of people, the more irrational, emotional, ideaological, and rigid the group is. Not with one view, but with their sub-groups.

Forget about Genius. I bet that if you took a group of 1000 random people and put them together in a group, they would collectively have a sub-100 IQ, or substandard on any test of cognitive ability, provided you allowed everyone to speak. As soon as one person said something, like "anyone who says the answer is B is an idiot", even if B is correct, at least 60% of the people will not answer B because they do not want to feel like an idiot.

Actually, we know this to be true:

http://www.cracked.com/article_19664_6-counterintuitive-tricks-to-beatin...

 

Thu, 02/14/2013 - 06:43 | 3242510 new game
new game's picture

solution-moar smart phones, free anyway to get them in the hands of poverty strichen dumb fucks.

sales flattening-obvious correlation to the problem...

where is my smart phone? ap for being smart?

dis dat da

Thu, 02/14/2013 - 09:43 | 3242741 spankfish
spankfish's picture

Ahhhh... yeast infections, or is it beer?

Thu, 02/14/2013 - 11:30 | 3243070 nofluer
nofluer's picture

The yeasty smelling mob rose to the occasion.

Thu, 02/14/2013 - 00:55 | 3242210 Ness.
Ness.'s picture

Chicago has a literary rate of 63 percent. This means that 37 percent of the population are not literate or cannot read/write.

Arne 'Duncan' Donuts, former CEO of the Chicago  Public School system, is the President's choice as US Sect. of Education.

Thu, 02/14/2013 - 02:54 | 3242373 Blankenstein
Blankenstein's picture

Well, in his defense, if this sloven mess doesn't like him, then he must be better than CPS and their moronic union.  But that doesn't say a hell of a lot.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1YXOSaMZzs

Thu, 02/14/2013 - 11:34 | 3243085 nofluer
nofluer's picture

Obama only appointed him because he thinks he can get free doughnuts for life...

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 23:25 | 3242009 Ms. Erable
Ms. Erable's picture

And if you believe that, I have two bridges in Brooklyn to sell to you, too.

Thu, 02/14/2013 - 04:20 | 3242435 Daily Bail
Daily Bail's picture

I see your illiteracy and raise you some Santa Cruz.

This shit is f*cking hilarious.

Meet Chairman Bernanke's Replacement - Happy Hour In Santa Cruz

Thu, 02/14/2013 - 00:37 | 3242187 Dr. Sandi
Dr. Sandi's picture

 

90% of Americans don't know the difference between there, their, and they're. Grade 3 english.

They're all over there with their friends.

So their!

Thu, 02/14/2013 - 00:58 | 3242229 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

.

They're all over there with their friends.

So their!

Dr. Sandi has gone rouge.

Thu, 02/14/2013 - 01:13 | 3242267 Dr. Sandi
Dr. Sandi's picture

My lips to God's ears!

Thu, 02/14/2013 - 11:46 | 3243126 nofluer
nofluer's picture

Uh huh! Just as I suspected! This board is populated by YANKEES!!! ANY intelligent person knows it's spelled "THAR" in ALL cases and uses!!!

Thu, 02/14/2013 - 01:00 | 3242238 mkkby
mkkby's picture

They don't even consider science literacy.  95% at level 1.

Thu, 02/14/2013 - 04:56 | 3242460 Dugald
Dugald's picture

"90% of Americans don't know the difference between there, their, and they're. Grade 3 english"

Hole in one!!!

Thu, 02/14/2013 - 07:45 | 3242550 mckee
mckee's picture

Like I said, there all idiots!

Thu, 02/14/2013 - 10:52 | 3242939 akarc
akarc's picture

there, they're, their now, don't be so quick to judge

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 22:59 | 3241953 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

Das rite!  Muhfuggas don' need a spell...we got Obama phones and welfare and food stamps and shit...

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 23:01 | 3241959 booboo
booboo's picture

remarkulas stats, if'n we could pay the teachers moar we kuld have fantabulous chilenz.

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