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Goldman 'Explains' The 'Market': "Best Not To Look A Gift-Horse In The Mouth"

Tyler Durden's picture


Good news, bad news, no news, dips, no dips, who cares. As Goldman sales/trading desk says, never look a gift-Bernanke in the mouth (especially if he ends up in a frozen lasagna at a store near you).

From GS:

A solid rally today and new cycle highs for US equities – but that’s where the story stops. No obvious catalyst. No bullish data. European stocks traded well, with most people pointing to a better German ZEW print, but it’s not clear why that would translate into such a strong US trading session. Maybe it’s best though not to look a gift-horse in the mouth.

One can't help but laugh at this "market."


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Tue, 02/19/2013 - 19:11 | 3257730 SHEEPFUKKER

Don't put gifted horse meat in your mouth. 

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 19:16 | 3257749 FL_Conservative
FL_Conservative's picture

Is there a "market" out there?

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 19:48 | 3257799 Richard III
Richard III's picture

A gift-horse, a gift-horse ! My kingdom for a gift-horse !

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 19:54 | 3257820 nmewn
nmewn's picture

All that paper's getting a little hot to hold...who will buy my paper? ;-)

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 20:11 | 3257856 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Around here you can tell a horses age by looking at his teeth, if you look in there, and the horse has no teeth, that's an old horse.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 03:25 | 3258666 redpill
redpill's picture

I rushed into this thread dearly hoping it was heavily laden with horsemeat jokes and I didn't have to go farther than the first comment.  I love ZH.


Tue, 02/19/2013 - 20:17 | 3257871 Jay Gould Esq.
Jay Gould Esq.'s picture

What do I fear ? Myself ? There’s none else by.
Lloyd loves Lloyd; that is, I and I.

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 20:08 | 3257850 yogibear
yogibear's picture

It doesn't matter, Bernanke and the Fed will make a market with their infinite fiat.

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 20:17 | 3257865 Cult_of_Reason
Cult_of_Reason's picture

"Has the Federal Reserve Ever Tried to Manipulate the Stock Market?"


Tue, 02/19/2013 - 22:49 | 3258272 Groundhog Day
Groundhog Day's picture

i don't want to cry so i laugh at my put positions

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 19:20 | 3257758 lineskis
lineskis's picture

Tyler, is it possible that the "great rotation" out of bonds and into stocks is taking place in an unexpected form, namely out of JGBs and into US stock market?

Martin Armstrong's take is that with the fall of Europe and Japan, the USA are currently the only game in town which might explain why we could see new highs in US equities.

What do you think?

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 19:55 | 3257822 Careless Whisper
Careless Whisper's picture

Interesting. Thanks for the link.

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 20:59 | 3257951 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

If we're going to crash hard into a full on depression expect a hell of a wild bender ride first

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 20:25 | 3257879 H E D G E H O G
H E D G E H O G's picture


Tue, 02/19/2013 - 20:39 | 3257908 Hulk
Hulk's picture

Damn man, you are going to run zerohedge out of black ink...

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 00:27 | 3258478 sgorem
sgorem's picture

don't worry about the INK, READ THE MESSAGE.......................................

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 07:34 | 3258788 LongBalls
LongBalls's picture

REFUSE to PLAY. Pull your damn cash. Damn people. It's simple. The house is stacked against you. Pay off your debt if you have any and sit back, enjoy the show, and sleep soundly knowing they have nothing of yours to steal. The MARKETS ARE DEAD. YOU ARE OUT GUNNED, OUT MANNED, OUT HFT'ed, SIMPLY PUT, YOU ARE BEING OUT MANIPULATED. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. SCREW EM'!

Gold and Silver are being crushed by paper games. When they push it low enough and you are afraid of inflation then go buy some. Other than that stop whining. It will never cease untill we pull our willingness to play the fucking dream (nightmare) with placed bets they can steal.

EXIT THIS ABORTION UNTILL THESE ASSHOLES GET THE MESSAGE. Stop fucking around and correct this bull shit mess once and for all. Untill then fuck em'. ABORT! 

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 19:30 | 3257735 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

Sounds like a passive aggressive dig at Moe and the SEC. Fuck with us we wipe out everyone's savings in a rigged stock market crash. I say bring it mother fuckers and so we can hang your asses on it.

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 20:00 | 3257833 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Like the owners of the SEC have any need to scare the hired help!

You need to stop following the script (especially the scene where you get even with them after the crash).

I see this as nothing more than GS having to say something, yet having absolutley nothing to say that wouldn't be incriminating.

The idea that GS has an adversarial position with the SEC is juvenile. They own it, and they've always owned it.

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 20:09 | 3257852 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

I tend to believe that also but I'm willing to give Moe at least one shot to prove she isn't more of the same. I still say the statement is a passive aggressive pot shot reminding everyone who calls the shots with this market.

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 20:15 | 3257868 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

There is absolutely no way on Earth that she'd ever gotten the job if that were the case.

Remember, ALL of these people, including O'bummer, are thoroughly vetted (read: black-mailed) to ensure loyalty.

If anything, the pot shot you see is merely manufactured to give you another glimmer of hope.

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 20:32 | 3257881 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

Even if Moe is on the payroll, the fact they even feel the need to put up a fake good cop in the name of appearances is telling that they are concerned about the negative sentiment being voiced in comments in places like here and individual blogs. The open information revolution is rattling them....

Okay explain to me how it is a glimmer of hope? Serious question not being sarcastic.

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 21:07 | 3257969 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

Have you worked in the corporate world and swam a bit with the sharks? Even in those swarmy pools, they only promote their own... So in those deep waters there is no chance anyone doesn't play along for fear of being drowned instantly

When they retire and write a book they can be honest about things from 30 years ago

Thu, 02/21/2013 - 05:37 | 3262525 Tic tock
Tic tock's picture

Though what are the chances ther's going to be a global economy - methinks GS, for all it's balls, might've hitched to the wrong wagon

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 19:13 | 3257737 ekm
ekm's picture

As I've been saying over and over and over and over.

This casino can only and only and only go higher. It has been like that since Dow at 10k.

No news needed, no events required.


A 1987 repeat is at hand, very soon. A collapse with no news, no events.

A collapse out of silence, as soon as Obama gives the HALTING order to Benny B.

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 19:18 | 3257754 FL_Conservative
FL_Conservative's picture

People (lots of them, including all the so-called "experts", like Bernanke) said the same thing about the real estate market.  It can ONLY go higher.   That worked out well for a lot of people, now didn't it?

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 19:40 | 3257789 Rainman
Rainman's picture

Our favorite casino managers got big raises today...Moynihan grabs a 71% raise for selling assets and firing people.


Tue, 02/19/2013 - 21:10 | 3257979 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

Value is dead , Cost is king

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 20:06 | 3257847 AllWorkedUp
AllWorkedUp's picture

Obummer will never give Benny the halting order - Obummer works for the banksters not the other way around. This market will keep going higher until there are sufficient sheep funds to be stolen. That may take awhile.

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 19:16 | 3257739 mantrid
mantrid's picture

buy the pink-slime dip!


February 19, 2013 February 20, 2013 Outright Treasury Coupon Purchases 02/15/2036 – 02/15/2043 $1.25 - $1.75 billion

February 20, 2013 February 21, 2013 Outright Treasury Coupon Purchases 05/15/2020 – 02/15/2023 $2.75 - $3.50 billion

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 20:03 | 3257836 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Meanwhile, with only $3B, FDR bought ALL of the damn local political machines, nationwide.

Interpolating from this, I can only assume that war is but weeks away.

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 19:13 | 3257740 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

That gifthorse meat is just being used to bail out the ECB banking system anyways...

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 19:19 | 3257760 FL_Conservative
FL_Conservative's picture

It's a freaking European delicacy.

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 19:13 | 3257741 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

it's just the same 500 shares trading back and forth all day long

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 19:14 | 3257742 astoriajoe
astoriajoe's picture

Its not a gift horse if it can be taken back from you.

Best sell it and realize the gift for what it is I suspect.

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 19:34 | 3257778 Bobbyrib
Bobbyrib's picture

You also have to take the "Goldman loves to fuck its client over" factor into effect. There is no telling what Goldman is doing investment wise..

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 19:14 | 3257743 Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture

Bernake is a horses ass and this is criminal fraud rather than a market.

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 19:14 | 3257746 fuu
fuu's picture

"Maybe it’s best though not to look a gift-horse in the mouth."

Close your eyes and keep breathing, it will all be over soon.

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 20:07 | 3257849 Oldballplayer
Oldballplayer's picture

That's what I say to my wife. Well, not the whole sentence. Ok, one time. One time I got to say the whole sentence. What a night that was.

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 19:15 | 3257747 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

There must be two Goldman Sachs? A good one that gives good investment advice, and a bad one that fucks people over every chance they get............. No??

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 19:43 | 3257793 Racer
Racer's picture

There is a ..... good..... GS?

sorry I think you have overdosed on something that has severely affected your mind

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 20:04 | 3257841 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Well, he is A Lunatic, after all.

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 21:33 | 3258047 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture



That was Not Applicable.

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 19:22 | 3257750 Rainman
Rainman's picture

Bernank's $ 85B/mo payoff key must have been fat fingered today. That's a lot of fiat moving things. The squid already knows this.

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 19:19 | 3257759 ABG LINE
ABG LINE's picture

Straight from the horse's mouth.

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 19:19 | 3257761 SilverMaples
SilverMaples's picture

GS, the first one to sell whenever they find a scapegoat event good enough ...

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 19:20 | 3257762 Phoenix_Rising
Phoenix_Rising's picture

It's a laugh riot for sure

Even funnier is the people that say.."look at the stock market, everything's fine"

Blind in one eye, can't see out of the other

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 19:24 | 3257764 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Is this the same gift horse the Europeans have been eating?

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 19:53 | 3257819 JenkinsLane
JenkinsLane's picture

"This is not the beef you're looking for..."


Tue, 02/19/2013 - 22:18 | 3258171 andrewp111
andrewp111's picture

It is groundhog.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 00:43 | 3258503 ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

No, their's is of the 'Trojan' variety.

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 19:27 | 3257770 RideTheWalrus
RideTheWalrus's picture

 "Best Not To Look A Gift-Lasagne In The Mouth"

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 19:30 | 3257772 otto skorzeny
otto skorzeny's picture

At least those guys that boosted that jet in Brussels for $50 million in diamonds had to take some risk for their gains. talk about some big clanging balls.

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 19:41 | 3257790 JenkinsLane
JenkinsLane's picture

I wish I'd been with them - predominantly rough, uncut and untraceable diamonds; beautiful

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 19:47 | 3257804 otto skorzeny
otto skorzeny's picture

although with Europe in the economic shitter and the jews running the diamond market it could have been an inside job to generate some cash with a big insurance claim with the owner claiming whatever he felt like since they were rough stones. I read that the insurance was cheap to transport them by plane since no one can steal them while inflight-but since the theft was while they were being loaded onto the plane I sense a big insurance company fight about who should pay out. although-yes-it was a bold theft with many risks.

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 20:47 | 3257913 Stax Edwards
Stax Edwards's picture

They have nothing on the Lufthansa Heist.  Anyone remeber that Krugman?  It is much easier these days, no need for all the drama, the heist take place in plain sight with no one the wiser.

Ahh, to reminisce about the good old days.


Meet the new GoodFellas.  You could never have gotten so many made men in one room back in the day:


Try not to forget this, whatever you do:

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 19:39 | 3257787 Mike Cowan
Mike Cowan's picture

Tyler is bearish? What a surprise!

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 19:47 | 3257803 BoNeSxxx
BoNeSxxx's picture

The Unicorrns shitting skittles under rainbow filled skies are over on CNBS and CNN.

The choice, as always, is yours and yours alone.

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 19:45 | 3257797 Pairadimes
Pairadimes's picture

"The farce can have a strong influence on the weak-minded." - Obi Wan Bernanke

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 19:45 | 3257798 JenkinsLane
JenkinsLane's picture

What about a gift donkey? In the unlikely event I come across one the first thing I'm going to think is "I wonder how many ready-meal

lasagnes I can get out of that?"

I find the whole horse meat thing funny. Hell, it's not as if anyone noticed when they were eating it. In future they should just label

them "Horse Lasagne" or "Donkey Lasagne" or "Horse Lasagne With Added Donkey" and price accordingly. Hell, the French will buy them

for starters.

This time next year....


Tue, 02/19/2013 - 22:16 | 3258164 andrewp111
andrewp111's picture

Just call it the Whinny Burger.

And horse in Lasagne is fine as long as you don't call it beef. Just call it mystery meat, and then it can legitimately be anything - even groundhog.

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 19:51 | 3257808 JenkinsLane
JenkinsLane's picture

A horse walks into a bar.....


Tue, 02/19/2013 - 19:52 | 3257813 booboo
booboo's picture

Buy stock in the only thing that matters, market symbol YOU and when it colapses out it won't matter to you and you can buy a cheap hedge from any insurance company.

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 19:58 | 3257814 booboo
booboo's picture


Tue, 02/19/2013 - 19:53 | 3257818 thismarketisrigged
thismarketisrigged's picture

this jackass on cnbc at the end of the day said that he believes we still have 5 percent to go up from here, and that after that we may get a bit of a correction, but then by summer we go much higher. the asshole was making it seem like everything is great around here.


fuck him, i hope he loses his shirt

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 21:52 | 3258093 zdk45
zdk45's picture

With due respect, THAT is nothing...

A respected mind, who called, "major upside" at 1100, wayyy back in the day...recently proclaimed that there's another 100% upside from here, starting right last until 2015.

It will be funny, I guess, to sit around the zh campfire and laugh at the "cool kids" while they make trillions...sitting out the greatest Bernanke Bull Market in history...

The Tyler's better be damn funny while I chortle away 100% "growth" on the S/P until 2015....AND then finally the market "crashes" back to 1500!!!

The Horror...of it all...oh well...there's always FaceBook Financial News Network....and Business Insider Yahoo Finance.


Tue, 02/19/2013 - 19:55 | 3257824 azengrcat
azengrcat's picture

I don't know why "socialist" Obama would want a high stock market. Seems his agenda would be better served blowing up the 1%ers and lowering crude prices to help the lower class.

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 20:02 | 3257834 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

It is exactly what he wants. The money tap is diverted away from the very people who need it the most to stranglehold the economy which as the least dignified break first become dependent on the wellfare state. The wolves get to be wolves and in the process help O'great one foward his fabian socialist agenda. One hand washes the other.

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 20:11 | 3257857 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture


Are you up out your gotdamn mind?

Here's a clue, neither O'bummer, nor any predecessor since JFK has their own "agenda" about ANYTHING.


O'bummer's agenda? Tee times. If he's lucky, as a reward, just maybe he gets to pick out the boy he's gonna screw later (after picking out the ones to be droned first).

Hasn't anyone told you that politics isn't real?

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 20:42 | 3257915 NihilistZero
NihilistZero's picture

JFK and Eisenhower were our last real presidents.  I do think Reagan believed the right things and did some good on principle, but overall the globalists whored the old man out without him even knowing it (alheizmers)

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 22:12 | 3258150 andrewp111
andrewp111's picture

Obama loves the 1%-ers, as long as they contribute to his campaigns. They are truly his favorite people. Especially if they are financial types, and don't touch dirty things like coal and oil. Yes, he throws rhetorical bones to the masses of ignorant rabble, and tosses some benefits and obamaphones around,  but banksters are too big to jail. And Obama schmoozes with the tech bigwigs of Google, Facebook, and Apple. After all, those tech companies made his reelection GOTV machine work. They are the main reason he has a 2nd term.

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 19:56 | 3257827 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 Send in the clowns... (muppets)

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 20:33 | 3257897 SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

Whinny...Whinny...snort, snort. (paws hoof at the ground)

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 19:59 | 3257831 Uber Vandal
Uber Vandal's picture

And when there isn't a cloud in the sky, and you happen to be walking by 200 West Street, New York, you should not question if it is rain streaming on your head either, right?

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 20:03 | 3257835 Glass Seagull
Glass Seagull's picture



Fed equity rallies:  linear as all get-out.  Ben must subscribe to Laslo's newsletter about that stick he uses to project everything.



Tue, 02/19/2013 - 20:11 | 3257860 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Ben's got a woody?

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 20:03 | 3257839 yogibear
yogibear's picture

It's Bubble Bernanke and the Fed laughing all the way to their banks. Controlling the equity markets as well as the bond markets. They control everything with their infinite fiat money machine.

The monthly liquidity just keeps adding to the sea of liquidity. Member banks have to invest it so they buy equities.

They can't stop or the end game.



Tue, 02/19/2013 - 20:17 | 3257870 max2205
max2205's picture

Legal fraud is all 

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 20:26 | 3257884 stiler
stiler's picture

horse sense is the thing a horse has that keeps it from betting on people. (with PhDs)

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 21:01 | 3257956 gould's fisker
gould's fisker's picture

Translation of ""Best Not To Look A Gift-Horse In The Mouth" when included in a Goldmember report . . .


You might as well bend over and put lipstick around your asshole and smile, cause you're going to get shtuped one way or another.


Tue, 02/19/2013 - 21:12 | 3257989 trendybull459
trendybull459's picture

I agree with Goldy Sachen on everything he says,untill it failes!

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 22:07 | 3258133 Smuckers
Smuckers's picture

If I had the energy, I would track two fake piles of $10,000.
One pile to invest exactly as GS says, the other pile to do exactly the opposite.
After 1 year, I wonder....

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 22:17 | 3258153 EclecticParrot
EclecticParrot's picture

Say WHAT ?!  I would think GS would know very well why the market ramped today -- it's because the dorks on their algo desk pressed the "slow ramp" button at 12:30, then increased the throttle at 2:10 so they could get it going before the normal back-from-lunch 2:30 crowd piled in to take their little morsels higher.

Apparently, they did another type of DNA test for horses, this time on the GS trading desk but, curiously, only found material from the hind quarter of the animal, and at a much larger % than Nestle discovered in their lasagne . . .

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 22:27 | 3258205 cliffynator
cliffynator's picture

Sooooo .. Goldman told the Muppets to keep buying 'no matter what.' Should I assume that's the traditional, contrarian signal?

Tue, 02/19/2013 - 23:56 | 3258430 Go Tribe
Go Tribe's picture

Just more BS squid talk.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 00:23 | 3258472 luna_man
luna_man's picture



Heck, quit trying to rush it!...Show some patience, like me...The longer the wait, the bigger the payoff!!


all the sweeter

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 00:29 | 3258481 Schmuck Raker
Schmuck Raker's picture

Fuck G Sacs, and fuck any horse with a gifted mouth...

Kevin Henry cums to mind.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 00:43 | 3258502 lasvegaspersona
lasvegaspersona's picture


In Zimbabwe the stock market led the way, up by trillions of percentage points. In the end, per Kyle Bass, you could trade it all for 3 eggs. 

If Bernacke does continue to add 85 billion per month (and he seems to be an honest kinda guy) it is not unreasonable to expect some, perhaps a lot of, increase in the index. Games will be played along the way but DOW 35,000 ?...sure. As per Daniel Amerman....that would be a really really bad thing as post taxes your purchasing power would go to zip.

Financial repression and asset inflation, these are classic, well known central bank playbook items. There should be no surprises for the well read.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:00 | 3259211 lemarche
lemarche's picture


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