It Is Twenty Times Easier To Get Into Princeton Than To Get A UK Part-Time Coffee Barista Job

Tyler Durden's picture

As the Brits await anxiously for tomorrow's employment data - with their currency plunging courtesy of reality and Carney's vocal intervention - it appears the job market in blighty is truly dismal. We know it is tough to get into Harvard (5.9% acceptance rate); we recently discussed the difficulty of attaining a flight attendant position at Delta (1.4% acceptance rate - 300 positions for 22,000 applicants); but that's nothing compared to the difficulty in attaining a role at the UK's Costa Coffee. 1700 people applied for 8 positions (0.47% acceptance rate) at a high street coffee house in Mapperley, Nottingham. Just three of the jobs were full-time - and paid between $8 and $15 per hour. Just as in the US, The Daily Mail notes unemployment is actually falling according to official figures, but the demand for relatively low paying jobs tells a different story, as unsuccessful candidates include senior managers with over 15 years experience in retail. The jobs were only listed on the firm's website and on a local building - and attracted this kind of attention leaving the company "amazed at the level of interest."

Not one of the successful candidates (this one works at Baristas Coffee Company: "the fastest growing drive-though espresso company in the Northwest")

 

and Acceptance rates at Ivy League Schools...

Bottom line: 9.3% admission rate to Princeton vs 0.47% admission rate to Costa Coffee...

Via The Daily Mail,

More than 1,700 job hunters applied for just eight vacancies at a new cafe it emerged today - highlighting the extent of the employment crisis across Britain.

 

Coffee chain Costa received a staggering average of 212 applications for each post at their new branch in Mapperley, Nottingham.

 

There were three full-time and five part-time positions with wages ranging from £5.40 to £10-an-hour advertised for the branch which is due to open this Friday.

 

One of the new team members Heather Davies, 25, today revealed how she feel 'incredibly lucky' to have beaten such tough competition to secure a job at the branch.

 
Desperate times: More than 1,700 people applied for just eight jobs at a Costa Coffee branch in Mapperley, Nottingham - averaging 212 applications for each job

Desperate times: More than 1,700 people applied for just eight jobs at a Costa Coffee branch in Mapperley, Nottingham, pictured - averaging 212 applications for each job

 
One of the lucky eight: Heather Davies was taken on as a barista at a new Costa cafe in Nottingham after 1,700 people applied for eight jobs
One of the lucky eight: Heather Davies was taken on as a barista at a new Costa cafe in Nottingham after 1,700 people applied for eight jobs

...

A spokesman said there had been a 'wave' of applications from graduates to people who worked for HMV and Clinton Cards, both of which recently went into administration. Close to 1,000 workers are being made redundant at the failed music chain after it announced the closure of 66 of its 220 shops across the country last month. Around 550 people working at Clinton Cards - a fourth of its work force - lost their jobs when administrators closed 76 unsold stores last year.
 The staggering amount of applications gives a snapshot of how tough the job market still is in the UK as more and more companies go bust.
...
'Over 90 per cent of the applicants came from Nottingham and we didn't have to advertise that extensively either.
We only listed it on one job website and put a sign up on the building while we were renovating it but the applications just came flooding in.
'I was amazed at the level of interest.'
The TUC said the levels of applicants was indicative of the employment crisis gripping the nation.
TUC General Secretary Frances O'Grady said: 'These figures show just how desperate people are for any kind of work.
'Ministers claim there are plenty of jobs out there but the reality is that there are far more people chasing those jobs.

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resurger's picture

Howard Shultz is expanding in India, i want to know what is the acceptance rate for his applications.

It continues to amaze me that sometimes people buy coffee like "Star Bucks" because the cup is just a "Brand" and it reflects a social standars of some sort, am not saying that the coffee is bad too.

But id rather drink Costa, Timmy's et al than drinking this fucking kykes coffee.

DaveyJones's picture

he was thinking of calling it "fucking kykes coffee" - like a strong brew, he liked the hard consonants but marketing nixed it

Shell Game's picture

Yeah, I remember us being warned about piling onto one another in cities like Europe.  But that 'wash, rinse, repeat' cycle is just so tempting to outwit....

JustObserving's picture

You are twenty times more likely to see a unicorn than a barista who looks like that.  

EscapeKey's picture

There are some pretty damn hot girls working in my local Starbucks.

Of course, we DO have a lot of foreigners here in the UK...

Sudden Debt's picture

than you're lucky.... over here in my town it's a bunch of retards...
And I constantly keep asking myself...
WHERE'S THAT SMILE AND SERVICE I'M PAYING FOR YOUR MORONS!!!
And the coffee isn't as good as starbucks in Antwerp.... or Brussels...

DaveyJones's picture

call me crazy but as our youth, those utterly fucked by our selfish, destructive polices, wake up, you will catch less and less smiles - especially as they discover that that education they borrowed and that job they killed for, does not buy them enough to eat and sleep 

Bay of Pigs's picture

Rule Britannia, Britannia rule the waves!

Freddie's picture

Paul Krugman - Princeton prof, barista and general douchebag.

Frank N. Beans's picture

she can roast my beans anytime

McMolotov's picture

I'd like her to give me a job.

willwork4food's picture

I'm tellin Tyler you're talking nasty again.

mayhem_korner's picture

 

 

That they would take Heather Davies over the "not successful" candidate in the top photo is incomprehensible to me.

847328_3527's picture

My buddy's dad is on a wait list over there for a new hip--- 4-1/2 years!

 

BOOOOYAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

 

Coming soon to a hospital near you.

El Tuco's picture

Isn't socialized medicine the best......Just wait till America gets theirs.....

Yen Cross's picture

  Gotta love bubble butts. ;-)   Out of curosity, why is every girl trying to be a nasty, "redheaded" Ginger?  Women are better natural...

resurger's picture

She has a Tatto on her hand, ill get a Comando Vermelho (CV) on my face maybe they will accept me .. 

Dixie Rect's picture

"Out of curosity, why is every girl trying to be a nasty, "redheaded" Ginger?  Women are better natural..."

 

I was thinking that too, and why did that young man in the bottom picture die his hair that hideous color?

Yen Cross's picture

  See? I made my point!  Dixie is a nice rational (natural) woman.

Northern Lights's picture

A few years after I dropped my ex, she dyed her's red too.  Looks aweful!  Makes her look older too as she has very fair skin. Figures, 6 years on and she's still single.

 

Lord Of Finance's picture

Yeah. I know several eastern Europeans who moved to the U.K. in search of a better economy, conscientious politicians and honest central bankers.

 

  They now realize that there is really little if any difference. As my one Bulgarian buddy explained, "My parents came from the Soviet domination and they told me all the  stories about the rising prices, the do nothing corrupt politicians and the complete incompetence of the centrally planned bureaucracy. They said they crushed any incentive to better your life. They punished hard work and rewarded laziness, pushing the demoralized people into the shackles of the state. I do not see any difference here in Britian then I have heard from my parents."

 

  I told Demeter, "Look buddy. It aint that much different here in America than it is over there. He replied, "No shit Mike. Why the hell do you think I left America to come here!!!!"

Henry Hub's picture

Humm...I can think of a few different positions I would like to try that ginger barista in!

knukles's picture

Nope.
Didn't work
Damn
See you guys got me in trouble again.
Mrs K asked me if I wanted a cuppa and I showed her the photo and now I'm sitting outside on the front stoop in the rain with a buggy WI-fi connection.....

Yen Cross's picture

 These ponzi markets are so disconnected Knuckles. Risk F/X is selling off and the $ is flat. The metals are soft, and the Fed. Chair Satan pump is ramped up! The stupic fucking idiotic assclowns at CNBS are not going to suck me in!

Hulk's picture

Lookout  for meteors man...

Piranhanoia's picture

It isn't that Princeton would have to make their mind up about me,  its about me making my mind up about Princeton.   

Coffee please.

Mad Mohel's picture

Beg for the scraps you fucking dogs! Beg and grovel you lickspittles!

Shell Game's picture

Nice coffee sleeve for a skirt she's wearing....

youngman's picture

I can see why she got the job......she got my coffee steamin.....

icanhasbailout's picture

Look & dress like the chick in the article photo and you got the job.

Seasmoke's picture

only reason i would be desperate for one of those jobs......is to burn one of my mates , so we can split the windfall

Super Broccoli's picture

oh well 5 months ago i applyed for a legal manager position at SNCB holding, 300 candidates, after months of tests and interviews i was told i was 2nd ... there was one position !

Now i'm appying for a diplomatic position, 200 candidates, 2 positions, started this application 6 months agos, 15 of us left so far ...

You're right, recovery !

Melson Nandela's picture

Russell must be up 2% today on the news.

are we there yet's picture

Wow, go long on thongs.

Odin's picture

I'll order a double double... double.

Melson Nandela's picture

Soon it will be easier to get a job playing defense for Arsenal /snicker

NEOSERF's picture

Pretty soon simply looking for a job will count as employment...unemployment problem solved..next

Melson Nandela's picture

Or on second thought , trainer ? Goodbye Arsene you french faggot.

Racer's picture

I was speaking to a Polish lorry driver working in the UK... he is saving up to go back home.

W74's picture

Lots of Poles (and Ukranians and Russians) coming to Baltimore and even driving out some of the more troublesome denizens.  I think of it as a good thing.  Slavic peoples move in, businesses get started, the streets get cleaned up, buildings get repaired and crime goes down.  Seems like a good thing to me.

riphowardkatz's picture

I do not know the benefits game but I am sure there is a very sweet spot of making enough but not too much money. Plus you are going to be sitting around in a cofee shop anyway might as well get paid to be there.

and thank you for the accompanying visuals. 

Yen Cross's picture

 Is that "reheaded tart", going be able to afford "Obamacare"?

Bunga Bunga's picture

If central bankers had to do an internship with Barister's, the world would look much different.

Goggles Pisano's picture

To be fair, you do learn more being a barista than you do at Princeton.

Yen Cross's picture

 The bigger they come/ the harder they fall. Econ101

dr.charlemagne's picture

UP arrow=I'd hit that

Down arrow=there is something wrong with you

thisandthat's picture

Phoney stat is funny

lizzy36's picture

Gratuitous hot GIRL  - ZH, have you no shame ;)