China's Military Hacking Scandal Explained In A 150 Second Cartoon

Tyler Durden's picture


Confused by the latest Chinese military hacking scandal? The cartoon wizards from Taiwan's New Media Animation have it summarized for in just 150 seconds for all those US dummies who were not hacked by the Chinese.

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Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:38 | 3259128 Max Hunter
Max Hunter's picture

Did they hack ZH to get that horrible thing on here?

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:40 | 3259134 Glass Steagall
Glass Steagall's picture

Had to.. that sucked.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:45 | 3259145 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture

I like how they portrayed all Americans as morbidly obese.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:54 | 3259174 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

I like the Coke secret formula (water + sugar + commercials).

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:58 | 3259199 Enslavethechild...
EnslavethechildrenforBen's picture

Always China trying to get us.

 but we know who is really out to get us.

our own government


Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:21 | 3259343 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

"i love america,... it is my government that i fear"  unknown quote


Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:38 | 3259433 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

If the Chinese are fucking with the NYT and WashPo, then what's the problem? Sic'em!!!

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 13:21 | 3259966 Agent 440
Agent 440's picture

Really. That's more of a lovers' quarrel.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 13:32 | 3260033 Panafrican Funk...
Panafrican Funktron Robot's picture

Some information on Mandiant, the firm that "discovered" this info:

Kevin Mandia, President/CEO is a former Air Force security dude who also spent time at McAfee and Lockheed.  

Jody Gassow, member of Board of Directors, is the managing director of One Equity Partners, which is the private equity firm of none other than.... JP Morgan Chase.  Just to add to the tragicomedy of this, Jody was also on the USPS Cycling Team board.  

Good Harbor Consulting, partner.  Headed by our good friend Richard "Dick" Clarke.  For those of you unaware:


Wed, 02/20/2013 - 13:48 | 3260137 fourchan
fourchan's picture

mark scott.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:43 | 3259460 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Any questions now about Hope and Change?


Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:58 | 3259203 YBNguy
YBNguy's picture

Anyone catch the "Carl's Junior" street sign amid the other fast food signs?

Seems like they think "Idiocracy" is a documentary on American life.

And do the Chinese really chain smoke like that?

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:34 | 3259411 dogbreath
dogbreath's picture

That is an accurate caricature and that  the smoke rarely leaves the lips.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 12:03 | 3259585 moregoldplease
moregoldplease's picture

Yes the chinese do chain smoke as do many members of the asian culture.


Wed, 02/20/2013 - 13:08 | 3259897 bpj
bpj's picture

any doubts after seeing this;

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 13:33 | 3260034 Fizzywig
Fizzywig's picture

And do the Chinese really chain smoke like that?


Yes, but in China, it is called smog.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:00 | 3259215 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

That bit at the end makes me think the Telletubbies have been getting busy.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:36 | 3259420 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

shit the Coke formula is the same as our economic

and now the Chinese know

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:55 | 3259182 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

I liked that part... strongly disliked the U of M shirt worn by one, however.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:59 | 3259208 1100-TACTICAL-12
1100-TACTICAL-12's picture

Does'nt the chicom's make some of our missle componets? Wonder how that works out when the shootin starts?

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 14:23 | 3260329 TPTB_r_TBTF
TPTB_r_TBTF's picture

No warranty needed on those missiles.


They are only going to be used once.

Thu, 02/21/2013 - 05:58 | 3262531 13thWarrior
13thWarrior's picture

Shit is much deeper.

There is one theory by Joel Skousen that Chinese are being helped to catch up with US tech so the next war would be even. Recent stealth plane is an example. 


Here it is a interesting story.



Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:55 | 3259531 darteaus
darteaus's picture

Yeah, and that morbidly obese population 1/4 their number was awarded more medals in the London Olympics.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:49 | 3259156 jdelano
jdelano's picture

Tylerz I m hving trbl figrng ot wht it mns.  Its lke tryng to undrstnd a sntnc wth no vwls in it.     

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:39 | 3259130 classy_hopper
classy_hopper's picture

this is bullish, right?

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:40 | 3259131 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

I don't think Huckleberry Hound or Quickdraw McGraw will have any serious competition for a while...

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:15 | 3259309 Greshams Law
Greshams Law's picture

That is, unless Quckdraw ends up in one of those Carl's Jr. burgers.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:40 | 3259132 chubbyjjfong
chubbyjjfong's picture

Coke.. symbol of the free East.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:49 | 3259154 mckee
mckee's picture

And fat iShit addicts are apparently the symbol of the west?

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:52 | 3259162 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

water+sugar+commercials....ha ha ha

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 14:14 | 3260281 Matt
Matt's picture

The secret ingredient is flavoring from the Coca plant, which the DEA makes sure only Coca-Cola has access to.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 15:56 | 3260646 Forty Six and 2
Forty Six and 2's picture

Actually, water+sugar+commercials = coke sold outside US to places like China (regular poison version)

While water+GM HFCS+commercials = coke sold domestic US (special super deluxe posion version)

Ah the good old days when we could buy stuff for everyone. Oh wait...

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:44 | 3259144 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

The US Government just needs an excuse.  It doesn't need facts.  It doesn't need agreement from other countries.


Good luck China - you too Taiwan.  Have fun with the drones.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:49 | 3259494 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture


The US Government just needs an excuse.  It doesn't need facts.  It doesn't need agreement from other countries.

Exactly. Funny how this becomes the big story after computer security "initiatives" are pimped in Obamney's State of the Compelled Union address.

This whole China cyber war story is crap. That's not to say that the Chinese government isn't involved in internet-based espionage; of course they are, along with at least 30 other nations, including "steadfast allies" like Israel, France, and the UK.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 16:54 | 3260882 homonohumanus
homonohumanus's picture

Well good luck too if therev were to be a war between USA and another significant power of this world.


As a side note when did the USA did dare to go straight against a country or power of similar build/ stature?


I think it never happened, but I guess as a white flag lover french, born of a country that resist an Empire for mostly a millenium, with actual neighbors and mostly imaginary borders as a shield, I've no idea about nothing...

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:45 | 3259146 Freewheelin Franklin
Freewheelin Franklin's picture

If you are still using Windows, you deserve to get hacked.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 14:16 | 3260288 Matt
Matt's picture

If you use electronics components manufactured in Asia, you deserve to get hacked. Oh wait, that's all of them.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:45 | 3259147 John Law Lives
John Law Lives's picture

Interesting how they depict Chicom hackers as smokers and Americans as obese in that cartoon.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:35 | 3259419 dogbreath
dogbreath's picture

In china cigarettes are a food group

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:48 | 3259484 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

just like lard is in the US

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:45 | 3259148 barroter
barroter's picture

"Water, sugar and commercials."  That's about right!

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:53 | 3259168 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

+ caffeine and herd behavior

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 17:16 | 3261131 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture


Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:40 | 3259445 Brindle702
Brindle702's picture

... best scene ever ...

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:46 | 3259151 Mercury
Mercury's picture

If the Chi-coms capture president Obama’s secret plan for economic success, we’re all screwed.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:54 | 3259175 imapopulistnow
imapopulistnow's picture

Won't happen.  Obama's plan is so top secret that even Obama doesn't know what it is.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:50 | 3259501 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

bottom secret

cause that's where it leads you

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 14:17 | 3260299 Matt
Matt's picture

Unlike Bush's "4% growth" solution.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:55 | 3259180 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Isn't that where he got it?  Oh, you're right.  He studied Stalin and Saul Alinsky.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:50 | 3259157 bank guy in Brussels
bank guy in Brussels's picture

If Chinese hackers take down the US police state, God Speed to them.

That vid was quite entertaining I thought ... sometimes NMA is a little too violent in their cartoons about blood-spattering news events, but this one was fine.

NMA is also involved in casting the ultra-cute Taiwanese sexy real-live 'Weather Girls' ... babes worthy of William Banzai's posts:

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