China's Military Hacking Scandal Explained In A 150 Second Cartoon

Tyler Durden's picture

Confused by the latest Chinese military hacking scandal? The cartoon wizards from Taiwan's New Media Animation have it summarized for in just 150 seconds for all those US dummies who were not hacked by the Chinese.

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Max Hunter's picture

Did they hack ZH to get that horrible thing on here?

toys for tits's picture

I like how they portrayed all Americans as morbidly obese.

tarsubil's picture

I like the Coke secret formula (water + sugar + commercials).

EnslavethechildrenforBen's picture

Always China trying to get us.

 but we know who is really out to get us.

our own government


earleflorida's picture

"i love america,... it is my government that i fear"  unknown quote


Buckaroo Banzai's picture

If the Chinese are fucking with the NYT and WashPo, then what's the problem? Sic'em!!!

Agent 440's picture

Really. That's more of a lovers' quarrel.

Panafrican Funktron Robot's picture

Some information on Mandiant, the firm that "discovered" this info:

Kevin Mandia, President/CEO is a former Air Force security dude who also spent time at McAfee and Lockheed.  

Jody Gassow, member of Board of Directors, is the managing director of One Equity Partners, which is the private equity firm of none other than.... JP Morgan Chase.  Just to add to the tragicomedy of this, Jody was also on the USPS Cycling Team board.  

Good Harbor Consulting, partner.  Headed by our good friend Richard "Dick" Clarke.  For those of you unaware:


shovelhead's picture

Any questions now about Hope and Change?


YBNguy's picture

Anyone catch the "Carl's Junior" street sign amid the other fast food signs?

Seems like they think "Idiocracy" is a documentary on American life.

And do the Chinese really chain smoke like that?

dogbreath's picture

That is an accurate caricature and that  the smoke rarely leaves the lips.

moregoldplease's picture

Yes the chinese do chain smoke as do many members of the asian culture.


Fizzywig's picture

And do the Chinese really chain smoke like that?


Yes, but in China, it is called smog.

Joe Davola's picture

That bit at the end makes me think the Telletubbies have been getting busy.

DaveyJones's picture

shit the Coke formula is the same as our economic

and now the Chinese know

kridkrid's picture

I liked that part... strongly disliked the U of M shirt worn by one, however.

1100-TACTICAL-12's picture

Does'nt the chicom's make some of our missle componets? Wonder how that works out when the shootin starts?

TPTB_r_TBTF's picture

No warranty needed on those missiles.


They are only going to be used once.

13thWarrior's picture

Shit is much deeper.

There is one theory by Joel Skousen that Chinese are being helped to catch up with US tech so the next war would be even. Recent stealth plane is an example. 


Here it is a interesting story.



darteaus's picture

Yeah, and that morbidly obese population 1/4 their number was awarded more medals in the London Olympics.

jdelano's picture

Tylerz I m hving trbl figrng ot wht it mns.  Its lke tryng to undrstnd a sntnc wth no vwls in it.     

classy_hopper's picture

this is bullish, right?

gmrpeabody's picture

I don't think Huckleberry Hound or Quickdraw McGraw will have any serious competition for a while...

Greshams Law's picture

That is, unless Quckdraw ends up in one of those Carl's Jr. burgers.

chubbyjjfong's picture

Coke.. symbol of the free East.

mckee's picture

And fat iShit addicts are apparently the symbol of the west?

Son of Loki's picture

water+sugar+commercials....ha ha ha

Matt's picture

The secret ingredient is flavoring from the Coca plant, which the DEA makes sure only Coca-Cola has access to.

Forty Six and 2's picture

Actually, water+sugar+commercials = coke sold outside US to places like China (regular poison version)

While water+GM HFCS+commercials = coke sold domestic US (special super deluxe posion version)

Ah the good old days when we could buy stuff for everyone. Oh wait...

orangegeek's picture

The US Government just needs an excuse.  It doesn't need facts.  It doesn't need agreement from other countries.


Good luck China - you too Taiwan.  Have fun with the drones.

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture


The US Government just needs an excuse.  It doesn't need facts.  It doesn't need agreement from other countries.

Exactly. Funny how this becomes the big story after computer security "initiatives" are pimped in Obamney's State of the Compelled Union address.

This whole China cyber war story is crap. That's not to say that the Chinese government isn't involved in internet-based espionage; of course they are, along with at least 30 other nations, including "steadfast allies" like Israel, France, and the UK.

homonohumanus's picture

Well good luck too if therev were to be a war between USA and another significant power of this world.


As a side note when did the USA did dare to go straight against a country or power of similar build/ stature?


I think it never happened, but I guess as a white flag lover french, born of a country that resist an Empire for mostly a millenium, with actual neighbors and mostly imaginary borders as a shield, I've no idea about nothing...

Freewheelin Franklin's picture

If you are still using Windows, you deserve to get hacked.

Matt's picture

If you use electronics components manufactured in Asia, you deserve to get hacked. Oh wait, that's all of them.

John Law Lives's picture

Interesting how they depict Chicom hackers as smokers and Americans as obese in that cartoon.

dogbreath's picture

In china cigarettes are a food group

DaveyJones's picture

just like lard is in the US

barroter's picture

"Water, sugar and commercials."  That's about right!

Mercury's picture

If the Chi-coms capture president Obama’s secret plan for economic success, we’re all screwed.

imapopulistnow's picture

Won't happen.  Obama's plan is so top secret that even Obama doesn't know what it is.

DaveyJones's picture

bottom secret

cause that's where it leads you

Matt's picture

Unlike Bush's "4% growth" solution.

kaiserhoff's picture

Isn't that where he got it?  Oh, you're right.  He studied Stalin and Saul Alinsky.

bank guy in Brussels's picture

If Chinese hackers take down the US police state, God Speed to them.

That vid was quite entertaining I thought ... sometimes NMA is a little too violent in their cartoons about blood-spattering news events, but this one was fine.

NMA is also involved in casting the ultra-cute Taiwanese sexy real-live 'Weather Girls' ... babes worthy of William Banzai's posts: