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China's Military Hacking Scandal Explained In A 150 Second Cartoon

Tyler Durden's picture


Confused by the latest Chinese military hacking scandal? The cartoon wizards from Taiwan's New Media Animation have it summarized for in just 150 seconds for all those US dummies who were not hacked by the Chinese.


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Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:38 | 3259128 Max Hunter
Max Hunter's picture

Did they hack ZH to get that horrible thing on here?

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:40 | 3259134 Glass Steagall
Glass Steagall's picture

Had to.. that sucked.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:45 | 3259145 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture

I like how they portrayed all Americans as morbidly obese.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:54 | 3259174 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

I like the Coke secret formula (water + sugar + commercials).

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:58 | 3259199 Enslavethechild...
EnslavethechildrenforBen's picture

Always China trying to get us.

 but we know who is really out to get us.

our own government


Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:21 | 3259343 earleflorida
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"i love america,... it is my government that i fear"  unknown quote


Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:38 | 3259433 Buckaroo Banzai
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If the Chinese are fucking with the NYT and WashPo, then what's the problem? Sic'em!!!

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 13:21 | 3259966 Agent 440
Agent 440's picture

Really. That's more of a lovers' quarrel.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 13:32 | 3260033 Panafrican Funk...
Panafrican Funktron Robot's picture

Some information on Mandiant, the firm that "discovered" this info:

Kevin Mandia, President/CEO is a former Air Force security dude who also spent time at McAfee and Lockheed.  

Jody Gassow, member of Board of Directors, is the managing director of One Equity Partners, which is the private equity firm of none other than.... JP Morgan Chase.  Just to add to the tragicomedy of this, Jody was also on the USPS Cycling Team board.  

Good Harbor Consulting, partner.  Headed by our good friend Richard "Dick" Clarke.  For those of you unaware:


Wed, 02/20/2013 - 13:48 | 3260137 fourchan
fourchan's picture

mark scott.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:43 | 3259460 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Any questions now about Hope and Change?


Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:58 | 3259203 YBNguy
YBNguy's picture

Anyone catch the "Carl's Junior" street sign amid the other fast food signs?

Seems like they think "Idiocracy" is a documentary on American life.

And do the Chinese really chain smoke like that?

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:34 | 3259411 dogbreath
dogbreath's picture

That is an accurate caricature and that  the smoke rarely leaves the lips.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 12:03 | 3259585 moregoldplease
moregoldplease's picture

Yes the chinese do chain smoke as do many members of the asian culture.


Wed, 02/20/2013 - 13:08 | 3259897 bpj
bpj's picture

any doubts after seeing this;

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 13:33 | 3260034 Fizzywig
Fizzywig's picture

And do the Chinese really chain smoke like that?


Yes, but in China, it is called smog.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:00 | 3259215 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

That bit at the end makes me think the Telletubbies have been getting busy.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:36 | 3259420 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

shit the Coke formula is the same as our economic

and now the Chinese know

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:55 | 3259182 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

I liked that part... strongly disliked the U of M shirt worn by one, however.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:59 | 3259208 1100-TACTICAL-12
1100-TACTICAL-12's picture

Does'nt the chicom's make some of our missle componets? Wonder how that works out when the shootin starts?

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 14:23 | 3260329 TPTB_r_TBTF
TPTB_r_TBTF's picture

No warranty needed on those missiles.


They are only going to be used once.

Thu, 02/21/2013 - 05:58 | 3262531 13thWarrior
13thWarrior's picture

Shit is much deeper.

There is one theory by Joel Skousen that Chinese are being helped to catch up with US tech so the next war would be even. Recent stealth plane is an example. 


Here it is a interesting story.



Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:55 | 3259531 darteaus
darteaus's picture

Yeah, and that morbidly obese population 1/4 their number was awarded more medals in the London Olympics.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:49 | 3259156 jdelano
jdelano's picture

Tylerz I m hving trbl figrng ot wht it mns.  Its lke tryng to undrstnd a sntnc wth no vwls in it.     

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:39 | 3259130 classy_hopper
classy_hopper's picture

this is bullish, right?

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:40 | 3259131 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

I don't think Huckleberry Hound or Quickdraw McGraw will have any serious competition for a while...

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:15 | 3259309 Greshams Law
Greshams Law's picture

That is, unless Quckdraw ends up in one of those Carl's Jr. burgers.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:40 | 3259132 chubbyjjfong
chubbyjjfong's picture

Coke.. symbol of the free East.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:49 | 3259154 mckee
mckee's picture

And fat iShit addicts are apparently the symbol of the west?

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:52 | 3259162 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

water+sugar+commercials....ha ha ha

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 14:14 | 3260281 Matt
Matt's picture

The secret ingredient is flavoring from the Coca plant, which the DEA makes sure only Coca-Cola has access to.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 15:56 | 3260646 Forty Six and 2
Forty Six and 2's picture

Actually, water+sugar+commercials = coke sold outside US to places like China (regular poison version)

While water+GM HFCS+commercials = coke sold domestic US (special super deluxe posion version)

Ah the good old days when we could buy stuff for everyone. Oh wait...

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:44 | 3259144 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

The US Government just needs an excuse.  It doesn't need facts.  It doesn't need agreement from other countries.


Good luck China - you too Taiwan.  Have fun with the drones.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:49 | 3259494 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture


The US Government just needs an excuse.  It doesn't need facts.  It doesn't need agreement from other countries.

Exactly. Funny how this becomes the big story after computer security "initiatives" are pimped in Obamney's State of the Compelled Union address.

This whole China cyber war story is crap. That's not to say that the Chinese government isn't involved in internet-based espionage; of course they are, along with at least 30 other nations, including "steadfast allies" like Israel, France, and the UK.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 16:54 | 3260882 homonohumanus
homonohumanus's picture

Well good luck too if therev were to be a war between USA and another significant power of this world.


As a side note when did the USA did dare to go straight against a country or power of similar build/ stature?


I think it never happened, but I guess as a white flag lover french, born of a country that resist an Empire for mostly a millenium, with actual neighbors and mostly imaginary borders as a shield, I've no idea about nothing...

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:45 | 3259146 Freewheelin Franklin
Freewheelin Franklin's picture

If you are still using Windows, you deserve to get hacked.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 14:16 | 3260288 Matt
Matt's picture

If you use electronics components manufactured in Asia, you deserve to get hacked. Oh wait, that's all of them.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:45 | 3259147 John Law Lives
John Law Lives's picture

Interesting how they depict Chicom hackers as smokers and Americans as obese in that cartoon.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:35 | 3259419 dogbreath
dogbreath's picture

In china cigarettes are a food group

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:48 | 3259484 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

just like lard is in the US

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:45 | 3259148 barroter
barroter's picture

"Water, sugar and commercials."  That's about right!

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:53 | 3259168 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

+ caffeine and herd behavior

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 17:16 | 3261131 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture


Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:40 | 3259445 Brindle702
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... best scene ever ...

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:46 | 3259151 Mercury
Mercury's picture

If the Chi-coms capture president Obama’s secret plan for economic success, we’re all screwed.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:54 | 3259175 imapopulistnow
imapopulistnow's picture

Won't happen.  Obama's plan is so top secret that even Obama doesn't know what it is.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:50 | 3259501 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

bottom secret

cause that's where it leads you

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 14:17 | 3260299 Matt
Matt's picture

Unlike Bush's "4% growth" solution.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:55 | 3259180 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Isn't that where he got it?  Oh, you're right.  He studied Stalin and Saul Alinsky.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:50 | 3259157 bank guy in Brussels
bank guy in Brussels's picture

If Chinese hackers take down the US police state, God Speed to them.

That vid was quite entertaining I thought ... sometimes NMA is a little too violent in their cartoons about blood-spattering news events, but this one was fine.

NMA is also involved in casting the ultra-cute Taiwanese sexy real-live 'Weather Girls' ... babes worthy of William Banzai's posts:

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:55 | 3259177 Son of Loki
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no wonder every young boy in Taiwan wants to grow up an dbe a climatologist!

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:22 | 3259347 Mi Naem
Mi Naem's picture

RE"If Chinese hackers take down the US police state, God Speed to them"

I really don't think their gangsters are better than ours.  Rooting for the foreign enemy certainly doesn't make you a credible champion for freedom at home. 

"God Speed" to communists?!?  I guess that makes you a religious Jane Fondle. 

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:27 | 3259382 suteibu
suteibu's picture

You might have missed the "in Brussels" part of his name.  Not everyone else in the world in interested in America's freedom so much as freedom from America's hegemony.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:52 | 3259481 darteaus
darteaus's picture

Yeah, during WWII and the Cold War everybody was fleeing to Germany and East Berlin to escape the US hegemony.

Look at all the illegal aliens swimming from Mexico to Cuba and Venezuela even today.

If you hurry, maybe you could be one of them!

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:54 | 3259521 suteibu
suteibu's picture

This isn't World War II or the Cold War (I).  And it is no reflection of the American people in general who are mostly unaware of how the US government actions effect others around the world.  You might prove that point.  American exceptionalism...Forward!

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 13:46 | 3260125 darteaus
darteaus's picture

You meant "affect".

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 14:20 | 3260310 suteibu
suteibu's picture

Thanks for the lesson in English grammar.  To be sure, you can spend all day correcting grammar throughout the comments on Zero Hedge if that is your wont.  But, it seems that you only want to diminish my comment.  That you understood what I was trying to say despite my error shows that I was successful in the primary reason for language, communication.  That you chose to point out the error shows that you have nothing further to add to the topic.  Glad we could clear that up.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 14:36 | 3260390 darteaus
darteaus's picture

If I were to argue with you, people would not be able to tell us apart.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 14:39 | 3260409 suteibu
suteibu's picture

LOL.  So you are giving yourself an up arrow?

Peace out.  No one will confuse us.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:56 | 3259535 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

"from the police state"   "from the hegemony"

The most dangerous mistake is mistaking relativity for absolutes

it can never happen here 

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 14:28 | 3260347 Mi Naem
Mi Naem's picture

I did miss the "in Brussels" part of his name. 

Doesn't make much difference to me, though. 

Those are deluded who think that the ChiComms will be kinder, gentler global hegemonists than the American/Zionist machine currently pulling most of the strings.  Had America's hegemony been so much worse than the realistic alternatives, the yoke would have been tossed already. 

In the end though, it matters not.  It will end quite badly for most all of us - some worse than others. 

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 14:33 | 3260378 suteibu
suteibu's picture

So you think that if the US police state is brought down, the American people will allow the Chinese to take over?  It is one thing for the population to allow its own leaders to herd them down the wrong road, it is quite another for it to allow a foreign government to assume control.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 14:45 | 3260434 Mi Naem
Mi Naem's picture

Beg your pardon friend, but foreign governments have assumed control of many vital US govt. functions.

Within the last several decades, the USSR had plants in our State Dept, White House, and Pentagon that all changed the course of our history, (and yours, wherever you may live). 

And Israeli interests still dominate our foreign and domestic policy, contrary to our national interests and to that of our people. 

Taking over a govt. doesn't necessarily mean rolling up with tanks and barking orders.  Regional and global hegemonists throughout history have proven that to anyone who looks. 

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 15:05 | 3260535 suteibu
suteibu's picture

And, thus, you describe the police state that needs to be brought down.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 15:53 | 3260787 Mi Naem
Mi Naem's picture

No, I described a police state that needs to be brought down. 

It seems that you're really not understanding the situation here. 

"The police state"?  The process we're involved in right now is one where the term "police state" will soon refer to the entire planet under a global government.  Folks who think that national sovereigns are competing for territory or global control are only half right.  And it's the part about which such folks are wrong that brings the real horror for us all.  Gangsters who manipulate sovereigns are vying for global hegemony. Hoping for the ChiComms to win is worse than futile. 

As long as our governments are permitted by the people to serve interests other than that of the nation and its people, someone will seek and obtain global hegemony.  Anyone who thinks the American/Zionist interests are the only ones playing that game are really not paying attention. 

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 16:13 | 3260865 homonohumanus
homonohumanus's picture

So funny how about the MSA?

What with the slavish obsession... hitting on their (awesome) women? :lol:

Thu, 02/21/2013 - 11:04 | 3263170 Mi Naem
Mi Naem's picture

By MSA, you are obviously referring to the

Mycological Society of America

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 13:31 | 3259602 darteaus
darteaus's picture

No problem with the US police state going away, as long as a Chinese police state does not replace it. Mao did kill 60+ million innocents, as you may or may not know - or care.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 14:30 | 3260359 suteibu
suteibu's picture

Mao is dead, as you may or may not know, and the genii is out of the bottle in China.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 14:38 | 3260406 darteaus
darteaus's picture

Is the genie really out?  That's a belief, not a fact.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 15:07 | 3260550 suteibu
suteibu's picture

It is no more a belief and no less a fact than 21st century American exceptionalism.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 14:29 | 3260349 GeezerGeek
GeezerGeek's picture

I was going to have my wife (who is Chinese, born and raised) to translate that for me. Then I thought she might think I was interested in something other than the weather.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:51 | 3259159 sudzee
sudzee's picture

Hmm. If I want my products to be secure where would I want them manufactured? Of course, China.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 10:58 | 3259200 ShorTed
ShorTed's picture

Manufactured in China guarantees a massive "back door" installation as well.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 12:18 | 3259537 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

And ALL high-end military products with electronic chips in them have a back-door for the DOD also.  Seriously.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:01 | 3259221 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Making chips for the F22 fighter in China could help with the budget. The .GOV could save money on pilots by having the Chinese remotely fly the birds.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 13:29 | 3260012 Things that go bump
Things that go bump's picture

We could have them fly the drones too.  It would be much cheaper.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:03 | 3259213 suteibu
suteibu's picture

Of course, none of the US alphabet agencies are hacking foreigners, including China.  Which means this is probably aimed at scaring the US public into accepting more government control over the internet.  The Red menace rises again.  Duck and cover.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:26 | 3259369 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

and, thar you have it mate... 

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:58 | 3259549 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

I wonder what Iran thinks.

Great post

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 17:07 | 3261090 Joe Sixpack
Joe Sixpack's picture

They wanted to pull the "Afghan's in caves hacking into the US" story, but weren't sure if they would get away with it [again].

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:06 | 3259246 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

Isn't this part of our "open borders" policy? I mean afterall, what have we got to hide? The Chinese are probably just hacking our defense and infrastructure so they can sell us software patches when it craps out.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:07 | 3259261 rsnoble
rsnoble's picture

As if the US millitary isn't hacking the Chinese lol.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 14:27 | 3260342 Matt
Matt's picture

What, exactly, would they be hacking China for? To steal their Intellectual Property on how to be Communist? Weather Control Technology maybe?

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:14 | 3259302 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

I love the fat crying Americans. That's right. Take down the power grid and we the American fatasses will simply cry like blubbering 350 lbs babies......Maybe the Chinese will let is borrow a smoke?

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:15 | 3259308 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture


An Anonymous powers his laptop with an exercise cycle?

Definitely not Americanism.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 15:13 | 3260606 sadmamapatriot
sadmamapatriot's picture

LOL, you really did make me bust out laughing.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:16 | 3259319 Mi Naem
Mi Naem's picture

The cartoon above satirically calls out many disturbing truths.  However, does anyone here think that America's NSA, CIA, and various other alphabets (that we're not yet allowed to know of) are NOT successfully hacking the red Chinese and every other country and interesting entity on the planet (with the possible exception of the Israelis). 

Picture an entire globe with everybody's hand in everyone else's pocket and everyone's eyes, ears and nose in everyone else's business, and I think we've got a picture of the current low level of cyber warfare.  As the currency wars heat up, the cyber warfare will, too. 

And anyone who thinks their Linux or Mac machines are immune to hacking is smokin' horsecakes. 

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:28 | 3259385 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

ummm?... who contols the state dept

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 14:31 | 3260365 Mi Naem
Mi Naem's picture

"who contols the state dept"


Wed, 02/20/2013 - 12:02 | 3259578 darteaus
darteaus's picture

Of course the US is. But there is a HUGE difference between China and its stooge NK getting its hands on nuclear warhead miniaturization or MIRV technology, and the US finding out about the new iPhone production schedule.

The lack of morality may be the same, but the consequences are far, far different.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 13:18 | 3259950 Panafrican Funk...
Panafrican Funktron Robot's picture

Well, that depends on whether you buy into the concept that NK and Iran are "crazy bastards who will immediately detonate nukes over the US/Israel as soon as they get the technology to an actionable phase".  I personally think that idea is complete bullshit.  

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 13:30 | 3260019 darteaus
darteaus's picture

My argument it that what matters are the consequences - not the morality of spying, or what you or I think.

China and NK have a history of killing MILLIONS of innocent people, so that should give one pause.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 16:53 | 3260854 homonohumanus
homonohumanus's picture

Hum, we (occidental overall) don't have an History of killing millions of innocents people?

Wow I'm relieved :lol:

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 12:31 | 3259735 Shizzmoney
Shizzmoney's picture

Anything sent or stored over the internet at any time can be's just the level of difficulty that is a variable that separates what can be seen by someone with an average knowledge of computers, to an Aaron Swartz type, to the "elites" who either a) work for TPTB that create these sytems or b) "Neo" types who can hack into anything, from anywhere, at anytime.

Watch the anime "Ghost in the Shell".  It's where we are headed, IMO, as the "technocratic society" emerges.


Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:23 | 3259352 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

Funny how the MSM will talk about themselves being hacked all day but not a word on China hacking military servers...

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:33 | 3259409 Aegelis
Aegelis's picture

Best way to lure hackers: Build a system and tell them that it cannot be hacked.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:39 | 3259439 Itch
Itch's picture

Theiving little bastards!!

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 12:27 | 3259717 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

EVERYONE is hacking.  When others do it, it's called 'hacking' and is a threat to 'national security'.  When we do it, it's cyber-security and we're protecting world peace. 

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 14:33 | 3260374 Mi Naem
Mi Naem's picture


Same difference as "terrorists" and "freedom fighters". 

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 12:27 | 3259720 Shizzmoney
Shizzmoney's picture

Taiwan Cartoons > US MSM Media

LOL at the Cola-Cola formula

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 12:30 | 3259727 Cardinal Fang
Cardinal Fang's picture

I can see it all now, a chorus line of swaggering, smoking uniformed hard working Chinese spies, arms locked doing a step kick. The fatigue cap wearing panda dancing around them on roller skates...I wonder who their agent is?

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 13:57 | 3260181 Hedge Fund of One
Hedge Fund of One's picture

Chi-Coms wouldn't crack their commie buddies at the NY Times would they?

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 14:35 | 3260387 Mi Naem
Mi Naem's picture

I believe so, but that is more likely a cooperative arrangement called "supervision" where the boss has access to what you do when you're supposed to be working. 

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 14:32 | 3260372 dcj98gst
dcj98gst's picture

I smell this as a false flag so Obama can now take away internet animousity and have more "control" over you.  Big brother.

Wed, 02/20/2013 - 14:56 | 3260492 CPL
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