Guest Post: About Your $3.16 A Day Healthcare Insurance Plan...

Tyler Durden's picture

Submitted by Charles Hugh-Smith of OfTwoMinds blog,

About your "affordable" healthcare coverage...better read the fine print.


I recently received the good news via an advert that I can buy healthcare insurance for as little as $3.16 a day. Wow, that's only $95 a month. Since my wife and I are paying $1,136 a month for stripped-down, minimal coverage with one of the nation's non-profit care providers, imagine my delight at this revelation.
I know from friends that biopsies can cost $70,000 (each, of course) and a few days in the hospital (no, not intensive care) can easily cost $120,000, so the news that I can have access to all this wonderfully, insanely costly medical care for less than $100 a month is almost too good to be true. Wow, this Affordable Care Act (ACA) a.k.a. Obamacare is already working!
The advert doesn't provide any details on restrictions and exclusions, so I have taken the liberty of providing some typical fine print:

Thank you for your interest in MirageCare, our low-cost healthcare plan.This low-cost plan is only available to those meeting these qualifications. You must:

1. Be between the ages of 22 and 24
2. Have a BMI (body mass index) of 22 or lower
3. Be a celibate non-smoker, non-drinker, non-driver
4. Be able to pass the Armed Forces Fitness Exam
5. Have no pre-existing health conditions

Examples of pre-existing conditions include:

1. Coughing. If you have coughed for any reason in the past five years, you are precluded from coverage, as you obviously have a pre-existing lung condition.
2. Racing heart. If your heart has ever raced for any reason other than vigorous exercise, coverage is not available to you.
3. If you have exercised vigorously, you are excluded from coverage because you've obviously already worn out your heart, knees, hips, etc.
4. Felt discouraged or blue. Pre-existing psychiatric conditions preclude coverage.
5. Experienced pain. Regardless of the nature of the pain, the causes are all pre-existing conditions. Coverage denied.

Restrictions: MirageCare has a number of restrictions on what treatments and conditions are covered.

1. Injuries resulting from accidents are not covered. Check your workers compensation coverage if you are employed; if you are unemployed, you qualify for Medicaid.
2. Any treatment provided by a hospital that could have been performed at a clinic across the border for $50 is excluded.
3. Emergency care that could have been avoided with common-sense measures are excluded. For example, if you suffer a heart attack that could have been avoided by jogging two hours a day and avoiding jelly doughnuts, emergency care is excluded.

Co-payments: All treatment requires a co-payment. The co-pay schedule is as follows:

1. For all care that costs us less than $100, the co-pay is $100.
2. We pay 80% of the cost of care that we ascertain is fair and reasonable. You pay 20% of all costs and everything above and beyond what we ascertain is fair and reasonable.
For example, if your MRI and other tests cost $10,000, we pay 80% what we ascertain is fair and reasonable, i.e. $1,000. In this case, we pay $800 and you pay $9,200--unless we ascertain the tests are related to your pre-existing conditions, in which case our share is $0.
3. You must pay the full cost of treatment and we will reimburse you in 6 to 9 months if we cannot find any exclusions or restrictions. We may also withhold payment for other reasons; please review pages 316 - 1,761 of the Affordable Care Act (ACA) for details.

Preventative care is free: Preventative care is defined as visiting our website where you can read all the guidelines for healthy living that you already know but ignore because they're bothersome.

Alternative plans: if you do not qualify for MirageCare, we have other plans starting at only $31.60 per day, per person--less than $4,000 for a family of four. We are proud to offer plans that qualify for $2,000 annual subsidies from the Federal government under ObamaCare. This drops the cost of your family plan from $46,000 a year to only $44,000--a real bargain in today's healthcare.

Restrictions apply, of course, because we're running a business here, Bucko.


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NotApplicable's picture

Death, coming soon to a soul near you.

XRAYD's picture

"Mirage"care.  It is obviously a joke!

DaveyJones's picture

does a "racing heart" include increased pulse due to anger, frustration or disbelief? 

I'd say fuck but it might increase my ... oh shit, I fell for it

Hobbleknee's picture

Only terrorists feel anger.  Prepare to be droned.

somethingisrotten's picture

Can we volunter every member of Obama's cabinet for this coverage?

I'm sure Kluckman will be the first to join.

francis_sawyer's picture

American citizen: Do you expect me to talk?

Uncle [Remus] Sam: No Mr Citizen ~ I expect you to die!

knukles's picture

Kudos for the Gold-Bond reference

Everybody can afford "health care". 
Just so happens "health care" is Not A Defined Term.


See this whole fucking thing has absolutely nothing do do with health care.
It has everything to do with Health Insurance.

The Topic of Health Care Has Yet to be Addressed

secret_sam's picture

       The Topic of Health Care Has Yet to be Addressed

Yeah.  It makes me wonder what all the fuss is about.  Who really thinks the world is going to be appreciably DIFFERENT in 2015 regarding health-care?  If you already have health-insurance, it's going to continue to suck, and if you don't WANT health-insurance, don't buy it.  A $600 tax penalty is probably cheaper than 2 months' premiums. 

DaveyJones's picture

control of words is almost as good as control of money. Either get you around the law

but sweetheart, it's called the patriot act. Now let them in the house

azzhatter's picture

Sounds like the plan I already have

graneros's picture

Sounds better than mine!  Where do I sign.

kaiserhoff's picture

When Obummercare kicks in next year, there will be Hell to Pay.

RSBriggs's picture

Especially since coverage is expected to cost between $50 and $60 per day...  The good news is, the first year penalty for not buying coverage is $90 for the year.  It goes up from there, however...

Ignatius's picture

Weee, we're all gonna have health care!

How 'bout mandating that every American have a BMW?  Yes, you'll all have one 'cause we'll make it mandatory for eveyone to purchase one!!!  God, this legistlating shit is easy.

Anti-constitutional cunts making us buy private company products, fuck 'em.

McMolotov's picture

"But you have to buy car insurance. Same thing." —Statists

kaiserhoff's picture

Unless you are an illegal alien.

Then you have John Wayne insurance.  You don't have to take no shit off nobody.

DosZap's picture

"But you have to buy car insurance. Same thing." —Statists

Wana bet?, here in Tejas immigrants ,illegals drive w/out licenses, and poor folks do to.

So what if they smash your ass?.

They HAVE NOTHING to lose.

So WHY Stop?.There are two distinct classes of folks that can ignore the laws basicaly, likely Democratic voters, and the Elite, the rest of us are screwed.

CH1's picture

Yeah, let's hurt all those brown guys! They're the cause of all our problems!!


CH1's picture

Sure hope the dingers realized this was sarcasm. Could you really miss it?

lincolnsteffens's picture

I don't know about that. If you do not register your "automobile" (legally different from a motor vehicle) and do

not have a driver's license ( a legal contract ) you technically do not have to comply with any regulations not

required by law. As a private citizen driving an automobile you have a right to use a public way for non commercial purposes. If you have a sovereign right to travel ( life, LIBERTY and the pursuit of happiness) no one has the authority to limit or control that right except you by agreement. Signing a driver's license application is the act of signing a legal contract between you and the ones that have authority to enforce the contract. Registering your "automobile" is the act of signing a legal contract binding you to be regulated. Without those contracts, under Constitutional law no one has the legal right to diminish your natural right to travel as a free person. When you register your "automobile" and or get a driver's license you are agreeing to be regulated by "Motor Vehicle" statutes applicable to all commercial "Motor Vehicles".

You just have to be willing to accept the fall out which will entail at least verbally defending your rights or being forced to do it by understanding and pleading your rights before a judge that has "legal jurisdiction" to make a finding. If you are not willing to defend your common law rights as outlined in the Constitution of the United States of America you have in effect given them up to be ruled by someone else.

Just started to educate myself as to my rights that government run public schools omitted from my education.
Hmmmmm, I wonder why that is? 

Comments will be much appreciated especially if they are illuminating.

secret_sam's picture

       As a private citizen driving an automobile you have a right to use a public way for non commercial purposes.

No, you don't.  There's no "right to use a public way for non-commercial purposes."

Given the public roadways are paid for at least partly with tax-money, you're not going to win any legal argument that the cops can't prevent you from driving without a license or registration.

CH1's picture

Fuck the state and it's self-serving edicts.

secret_sam's picture

Word.  Fuck da poleece, nigga!

Boxed Merlot's picture

Recent interview with Schiff had a pretty good exchange regarding his father having been successfully "prosecuted" and serivng time at ~80 years old.  He said 4 of 9 justices agreed with his reasoning but that meant the final ruling did not go his way.


The kicker comment though was "does that mean the 4 justices were wrong?"



hapless's picture

Even if I don't own a car??

knukles's picture



Dixie Rect's picture

"don't worry Scrote!" --Dr. Lexus

Midas's picture

Lots of 'tards are living really kick-ass lives...

darteaus's picture

Just sign up for the Army and you get free food too!

kaiserhoff's picture

Or rob a bank, and get your teeth fixed free in prison.

There are fuckers who think like that.

Bicycle Repairman's picture

You'll get free vaccines as well.  Lots of them.

847328_3527's picture

No doctors accept Medicaid anymore. Some it doesn't matter how 'cheap' or how 'free' it is.


I guess you can say, "Medicaid (and Medicare) have priced themselves out of the market.

Cursive's picture


Soon, it will be a requirement that any and all practices accept Medicaid/Medicare and the risk of non-compliance will be that every offending practitioner would lose his/her medical license.  Retirement?  No.  No retirement for our doctor friends.  They will be forced into working as a "public good/utility" to cover the doctor shortage.  Good day, comrade 847328_3527!

McMolotov's picture

In ye olden days, we called this shit slavery. Now it's "for the common good" as we're all assimilated into the collective.

Resistance is futile.

pods's picture

I have been a slave for my entire working life.

1.  The amount of MY labor which I am able to keep is determined by someone else.  (Income tax)

2.  The unit in which my labor is valued (gold clause contracts notwithstanding) is determined by someone else.


DaveyJones's picture

The Jedi's will save you

just lose the black outfit

WarHorse's picture

and I'm sure the declining pay Doctor's receive will attract the "best and brightest" ... I can see it already ... 10 yrs from now ... should I become a doctor or barista @ Starbuck's ... the pay is slightly better for Doctors but there's all that blood ... tough choice 

DaveyJones's picture

not saying that all US doctors put my health before their wealth but I'd rather pay them (or chose amongst them)than some drug or insurance executive who, with a corrupt government, is taking over the market....

This industry has gone to hell as well and like every other new US version, the new "health care" progarm is more corrupt and unproductive than any other first world version.     

derek_vineyard's picture

ive read much of obamacare and its not too far from the truth.  if you make sub 10K modified adjusted gross income, obamacare might be for you....but then isn't the current going to emegency room for everything preferable?

apberusdisvet's picture

He forgot to add that if you are an illegal immigrant, there are no restrictions.  In fact if you are also an Obama bundler the government will pay you to lounge on the sand with a Mai Tai next to Corzine.

Dr. Engali's picture

Damn I had a physical yesterday and the Dr. made me turn my head and cough so I'm out. 

Idiot Trader's picture

A typical ER visit is from someone in the 22-24yo age range who has had vomiting for the last 2-4hrs since they ate some bad fast food.

No ride to the hospital, so call EMS or the ambulance ($600-800/ride).

Smoke 1-2packs/day (easily $3.16/day and the worst thing you can do for your health), nice clothes and of course, an iPhone with a data plan they are texting on when the doctor visists.

Maybe tattoos, a couple kids, a gold tooth, etc.

The medical problem in this country is not a medical delivery problem (although I will not argue that treatments are expensive--mostly to overcome low government reimbursements and the non-payers), but a cultural problem.

People have no sense of personal responsibility or financial accontability, so why not call an ambulance they will never pay for, or go to one of the most expensive entry points into the health system--the ER who cannot refuse care.  Most of these visits end up being expensive requiring labs and CT scans to rule out other diseases.  Too many primary care docs are too full or don't want to take Medicaid as the reimbursements are too low, so it ends up costing the taxpayer more in the above scenario.

What I can't understand, is why so many of these people aren't investigated for Medicaid/Care fraud much like physicians.  There is no penalty for these people who smoke, have iPhones/HDTV's and abuse the healthcare system.  That is one of the biggest problems.

maskone909's picture

i wouldnt beat up too bad on the poor bastard who who has 2 kids and chain smokes. going to the er is prob his only option. having food poisoning can be consideredlife threatening btw as you can die from an electrolyte imbalance pretty quickly. didnt you ever play oregon trail lol? the corruption all comes from the topn e ways

Clowns on Acid's picture

Imagine if Nancy Pelosi had this coverage. She could only afford a apprentice butcher for her next face lift.

knukles's picture

I just can't bring myself to say it.

Winston Churchill's picture

I will.

If Nancy has another facelift,hers mons will be a new double chin on her face.