Al-Qaeda's 22 Tips For Evading Drones

Tyler Durden's picture




 

This document is one of several found by The Associated Press in buildings recently occupied by Al-Qaeda fighters in Timbuktu, Mali. Written by Abdullah bin Mohammed, apparently with God’s help, with the goal "of disabling the new strategy of the American army at the medium or long-range levels," through three methods: the formation of a public opinion to stand against the attacks, deterring of spies, and tactics of deception and blurring. These 22 tactics are as follows...

  1. It is possible to know the intention and the mission of the drone by using the Russian-made “sky grabber” device to infiltrate the drone’s waves and the frequencies. The device is available in the market for $2,595 and the one who operates it should be a computer-know-how.
  2. Using devices that broadcast frequencies or pack of frequencies to disconnect the contacts and confuse the frequencies used to control the drone. The Mujahideen have had successful experiments using the Russian-made “Racal.”
  3. Spreading the reflective pieces of glass on a car or on the roof of the building.
  4. Placing a group of skilled snipers to hunt the drone, especially the reconnaissance ones because they fly low, about six kilometers or less.
  5. Jamming of and confusing of electronic communication using the ordinary water-lifting dynamo fitted with a 30-meter copper pole.
  6. Jamming of and confusing of electronic communication using old equipment and keeping them 24-hour running because of their strong frequencies and it is possible using simple ideas of deception of equipment to attract the electronic waves devices similar to that used by the Yugoslav army when they used the microwave (oven) in attracting and confusing the NATO missiles fitted with electromagnetic searching devices.
  7. Using general confusion methods and not to use permanent headquarters.
  8. Discovering the presence of a drone through well-placed reconnaissance networks and to warn all the formations to halt any movement in the area.
  9. To hide from being directly or indirectly spotted, especially at night.
  10. To hide under thick trees because they are the best cover against the planes.
  11. To stay in places unlit by the sun such as the shadows of the buildings or the trees.
  12. Maintain complete silence of all wireless contacts.
  13. Disembark of vehicles and keep away from them especially when being chased or during combat.
  14. To deceive the drone by entering places of multiple entrances and exits.
  15. Using underground shelters because the missiles fired by these planes are usually of the fragmented anti-personnel and not anti-buildings type.
  16. To avoid gathering in open areas and in urgent cases, use building of multiple doors or exits.
  17. Forming anti-spies groups to look for spies and agents.
  18. Formation of fake gatherings such as using dolls and statutes to be placed outside false ditches to mislead the enemy.
  19. When discovering that a drone is after a car, leave the car immediately and everyone should go in different direction because the planes are unable to get after everyone.
  20. Using natural barricades like forests and caves when there is an urgent need for training or gathering.
  21. In frequently targeted areas, use smoke as cover by burning tires.
  22. As for the leaders or those sought after, they should not use communications equipment because the enemy usually keeps a voice tag through which they can identify the speaking person and then locate him.

 

In case there are any other tactics or deterring means, please add them here so that the benefit will be wider and I pray to God to save us from the American intrigues and turn these intrigues against them.

Written by Abdullah bin Mohammed

Date 15 Rajab, 1432 (Islamic calendar) corresponding to 17 June, 2011.

 

Full pdf here

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Sat, 02/23/2013 - 00:06 | 3269225 Spigot
Spigot's picture

Total story "plant" IMO. What else? Yeah, right, AP dingbat wandering round in some mud "hut" finds "secret enemy papers", furatively looks both ways, stuffs them in his shirt, later slips away in the night finds a "translator" in a squalid dung heap hut in the back alley of a bizzar, dishoards the documents. The game of negotiating a price for the translation by the one eyed wizzened old fart's American University educated nephew, the payoff. The translation by goat oil lamp... yeah, I'm seein' it all, just like its on the big screen, ya know??

Sat, 02/23/2013 - 00:27 | 3269267 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Yes, but it opens up all kinds of dialog at work place water coolers and coffee pots. Plus it reduces anxiety in the minds of cubicle dwellers about the dangers of "active shooters" and being too far away from their sissors.

Sat, 02/23/2013 - 00:56 | 3269305 jeff montanye
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sounds like a scene out of one of this year's oscar nominees.

Sat, 02/23/2013 - 15:31 | 3270098 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

Zero Dark Thirty is actually the IQ level required to believe their farce.

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 22:16 | 3268974 B-rock
B-rock's picture

23.  Give up and buy some shit at the mall.

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 22:19 | 3268978 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

24. Don't be brown..........

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 22:21 | 3268986 duo
duo's picture

or don't have a wedding and invite dozens of relatives....

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 22:31 | 3269009 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

They forgot "hide under a blanket in Mom's basement."

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 23:47 | 3269181 PrintemDano
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Piss your pants.

Blow a whistle.

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 23:50 | 3269191 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

If you see something like wet pissed pants, make sure you say something to Janet Napolitano.

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 23:56 | 3269201 DoChenRollingBearing
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+ 1

Now that's funny!

Sat, 02/23/2013 - 07:28 | 3269572 francis_sawyer
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If all else fails... FART in their general direction ~ it's the new universal sign of surrender...

Sat, 02/23/2013 - 15:31 | 3270100 ZeroAvatar
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If you SEE Kate Hudson, SAY SOMETHING!

Sat, 02/23/2013 - 00:10 | 3269233 CaptainObvious
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Just tell the drone you're on the rag AND you have chlamydia, that'll discourage that drone strike.

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 22:39 | 3269037 fockewulf190
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25. Wear burkas at all times.

Sat, 02/23/2013 - 03:04 | 3269429 Kirk2NCC1701
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For women only. 

For men:  Wear 'towels' (turbans) and fake beards -- just like Jason Bourne when out in public.  Become a QCA (Quick-Change Artist), just to mess with TPTB.  ;-) 

Seriously... Probably not a good idea, as you'd be attracting more attention than avoiding it.  Being Bubba Vanilla is probably best.  Like those AmerRuskies in the new show "Americans".  Drives up their 'bandwidth' costs further.  Which is probably their true objective: QE^100 till it all collapses.

Sat, 02/23/2013 - 09:15 | 3269633 BurningFuld
BurningFuld's picture

I'd go with blond wig and big fake boobies. No way they are going to blow that up.

Sat, 02/23/2013 - 16:17 | 3270173 Cathartes Aura
Sat, 02/23/2013 - 22:14 | 3270748 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

"Watch out for your cornhole, bud."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHjlM5A1jME&t=4s

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 22:41 | 3269005 DJ Happy Ending
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25. Get a job at 7-11 and watch your mouth.

Sat, 02/23/2013 - 04:52 | 3269487 fockewulf190
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Al-qwack doesn't do squishies.

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 22:31 | 3269008 DaveyJones
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or have an energy source

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 22:18 | 3268977 nmewn
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"the Russian-made “Racal.”

Franchise opportunities.

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 23:02 | 3269074 moonstears
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Hey, my elderly neighbor has a "Rascal" power chair, got it off an info-mercial, "at virtually no cost to him"...using medicare supplemental insurance! Have to hook up with him when shit gets thick, guess they can outrun a droney plane? Who'd a thunk it? Maybe drone thinks you're disabled and moves on? Good info from the rag heads here.

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 23:03 | 3269098 UGrev
UGrev's picture

DUDE!! just rub off the "S" and you're fucking golden!!!

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 23:28 | 3269130 moonstears
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He's forever riding "up and down" the driveway on that fuckin' thing...note to self : "Discuss neighborhood watch Captain opportunity with grouchy/drunken old Earle the Rascal power chair guy, oh, and removing "S" from product name badge on battery pack " lol.

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 23:53 | 3269195 UGrev
UGrev's picture

I can see it now.. 

 

Spotter: DRONES!!!!

Random Guy:  EVERYONE!! DIVE ON EARLE!! DIVE ON EARLE!!!

 

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 23:54 | 3269197 Pure Evil
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Just throw a hoodie on that elderly turd while shouting Travon and popin' a cap in that geyser's ass.

Sat, 02/23/2013 - 01:04 | 3269310 DaveyJones
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the watch chairman

He'll be safe. Just tell him to avoid Reuters Journalists

 

Sat, 02/23/2013 - 09:57 | 3269665 moonstears
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Zero Hedge having an impact: we've obviously alerted authorities with this thread (gonna go warn Earle, as I think this is where he got his anti drone power chair!!) lol... see:

http://news.yahoo.com/fbi-declares-war-scooter-store-165141419--finance....

 

p.s. I did not read this link prior to these posts, fuckin' funny stuff to come out on the same day we're jokin' on this, algorithms caught our thread and alerted the MAN?? NSA, NSA!! (sung to the tune of "USA, USA!!) lol. You can't make this shit up!

 

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 23:04 | 3269099 nmewn
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lol...we need to retrofit it with ground to air capabilities ;-)

Sat, 02/23/2013 - 00:10 | 3269232 ZeroAvatar
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So, let me see if I've got this:  Ride around in a rascal in a burka covered in reflective paint? Just drone me, bro.

Sat, 02/23/2013 - 07:56 | 3269591 nmewn
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Right...but don't forget the Coexist bumper sticker on the back ;-)

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 22:27 | 3268995 otto skorzeny
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.50 or .338 lapua or .308? also thermal imaging is pretty easy to defeat with a heavy wool blanket-learned that one from Taliban also.

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 22:32 | 3269015 DJ Happy Ending
DJ Happy Ending's picture

Any of those rounds at 6km are worthless against a moving target, especially at a high angle. These people are morons.

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 22:35 | 3269019 otto skorzeny
otto skorzeny's picture

are you DHS,CIA or Mossad-not that there is any difference

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 22:47 | 3269055 DJ Happy Ending
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No, just a guy who knows that skeet shooting with a rifle is about as effective as a cat trying to bury shit on a frozen pond.

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 22:49 | 3269066 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

Indeed. Why try, resistance is futile, blah, blah, blah..........

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 23:30 | 3269114 DJ Happy Ending
DJ Happy Ending's picture

Resistance is not futile, just be smart about it and don't waste resources.

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 23:43 | 3269171 Matt
Matt's picture

I wonder if a MASER capable of taking out a drone at ~6 Km would be feasible.

Sat, 02/23/2013 - 03:15 | 3269432 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

"Who's a clever boy" then?  Now you're... cooking!

Rhetorical Q:  Ever wondered how the Serbian Army brought down a Stealth fighter in the 90's, and then gave it to the Russians? 

Directed beams traveling at the speed of light are such a bitch!  Set phasers on... ;-)

Sat, 02/23/2013 - 13:27 | 3269922 TheGardener
TheGardener's picture

Trial and error estimating speed shooting into forward air
got the billion dollar beast down. She must be there somewhere hold your fire way more forward as she is invincibly fast. Can`t see her, but she MUST be there. Hit ! WW1 and WW2 terrific hits had that feel to the target, felt at trigger time...

Sat, 02/23/2013 - 04:22 | 3269465 mt paul
mt paul's picture

my D-8 cat

will bury anything,anywhere...

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 22:45 | 3269058 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

all of the above  

Sat, 02/23/2013 - 00:48 | 3269291 lasvegaspersona
lasvegaspersona's picture

a 50 BMG that shoots 1 MOA (10  inch group at 1000 yards) is a very good (almost competition grade) rifle. They are big and heavy. I say NO WAY you could hit a moving target at ONE kilometer...at SIX????not possible even with luck. You could do some damage to anything on the ground for a few miles in the general direction of fire though.

Sat, 02/23/2013 - 01:48 | 3269360 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

#4 does NOT stand up to basic ballistics.  The world record for a confirmed sniper kill is held by a Canadian soldier in Afghanistan.  As I recall, the distance was in the 3-4 km range. 

6 km?  Straight up?  LMAO!  Add the effect of going directly against gravity, and the only thing that will have holes is this part of the story.  You'd need AA (anti-aircraft) guns.  Probably 20 or 25 mm cal.

Sat, 02/23/2013 - 03:19 | 3269438 mrks
mrks's picture

2815 m with a .50 and 2475 with a .338 are the longest confirmed kills right now. Not even half of the distance, not at a steep upwards angle and most notably not towards a fast moving target.

Also, not using some old, banged up soviet-style sniper rifle, top of the hat distance guesswork and optics still made in the last century, but a whole bunch of specialized long-range support equipment like laser rangefinders, ballistic calculators, the finest scopes money can buy and most important, probably quite a bit of time to prepare the shot and years of extensive training and experience.

So, yeah... Using a sniper to hit a drone in the sky from 6 km away: not gonna happen anytime soon.

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 23:09 | 3269107 gwar5
gwar5's picture

Nice.

 

For full elvish effect, can make Space blanket ($3) poncho. Sandwich wool blanket between space blanket inside and solar screen material on outside. Paint cammo, or incorporate fresh vegetation thereafter as part of DIY Ghillie suit. Doubles as small shelter.

 

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 23:51 | 3269190 Anusocracy
Anusocracy's picture

Build a replica of Air Force One alongside a golf course.

Sat, 02/23/2013 - 01:19 | 3269333 willwork4food
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Kidnap a black girl and tie her to a chair with Tiffany's bags around her.

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