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Friday Humor: Extra Cruel Parents Edition

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Surely this alone is sufficient to boost ES by 10 points...

h/t Eddie Morra

 

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Fri, 02/22/2013 - 09:51 | 3266521 vmromk
vmromk's picture

Where is Ben SUCK MY COCK Bernanke ?

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 10:04 | 3266571 negative rates
negative rates's picture

I seen him, he was servin up crow in the soup line.

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 10:28 | 3266632 HoofHearted
HoofHearted's picture

Hey there. Is that a Nice Wang in your brokerage, or are you just happy to see me?

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 11:41 | 3266995 tsx500
tsx500's picture

i've never heard of Nice Wang, but this list is clearly missing :   Hugh Jorgan , Peter Fitzwell , Rod Pooler , and Dick Steele .

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 12:27 | 3267179 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

So where is Won Hung Lo?

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 13:09 | 3267316 Intoxicologist
Intoxicologist's picture

And Phil McKrackin?

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 13:17 | 3267347 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture

 

 

Yuanta Securities?

"No, I no wanta securities..."

 

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 15:05 | 3267676 Intoxicologist
Intoxicologist's picture

LOL, good one!

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 09:54 | 3266531 Undecided
Fri, 02/22/2013 - 10:17 | 3266570 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Banks with physical will be fine, provided their management survives the guillotine.  Gold and market seem to have re-coupled.  I don't see gold dropping too much more without taking the market with it.  Damn that "wealth effect"  People starting to believe their lying eyes.

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 15:11 | 3267693 Say What Again
Say What Again's picture

I don't know which is more funny

The name; "Nice Wang"

or

  • "HELP> for more explanation"
  • "MENU> for similar functions"

BTW -- What was the TD searching for when he stumbled onto this screen?

Hmmm

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 16:41 | 3268005 S.N.A.F.U.
S.N.A.F.U.'s picture

Well, the header in the upper right says "Most-Viewed People", so apparently a lot of people like viewing a Nice Wang.  (Range is "One Day", so maybe just a hankering for the day?  Will have to watch on future days to see if this is a trend.)

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 10:28 | 3266606 fuu
fuu's picture

"suggesting gold could slide to $1,500 an ounce over the next two years."

Omg $80 over 2 years?!?

"The economists point out that CPI inflation has essentially vanished, both in the United States and across the developed world."

Lulz.

"“A myth because, in reality, money growth has not been particularly brisk,” CIBC said, noting that the Fed does not buy bonds through money printing. Rather, it takes bonds in exchange for crediting the selling bank’s reserve deposit at the Fed. These $1.5-trillion or so in reserves are not money and do not count in the money supply, the economists explained."

More lulz.

"In prior periods of major deleveraging (1945-1970, 1995-2000), both of which saw historically low rates of GDP inflation, the U.S. relied on taming the debt itself. Current budget negotiations appear to support that as the likely course of action."

Even more!

"For investors holding gold as an alternative to the U.S. dollar, in anticipation of the greenback falling sharply, CIBC noted that the U.S. current account deficit is primarily due to the trade deficit in petroleum products, which is shrinking."

Well at least we know what MDB does to pay the rent.

This certainly deserves a spot in a humor thread.

Edit: This is my new favorite part:

"CIBC believes the Fed will pull back from quantitative easing late in 2013 and start to talk more about upcoming interest rate hikes in the second half of 2014. The economists noted that expectations for rate hikes in 2015 will push up bond yields, raising the opportunity cost of holding a bar of gold with a zero yield."

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 10:46 | 3266699 Shell Game
Shell Game's picture

"CIBC believes the Fed will pull back from quantitative easing late in 2013 and start to talk more about upcoming interest rate hikes.."

lmao, wiping my eyes... It's really too early to be guffawing on the left coast here...

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 11:10 | 3266836 Undecided
Undecided's picture

dang lots of down votes must be alot of CIBC pundets on ZH today lol

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 09:55 | 3266532 urbanelf
urbanelf's picture

"Analyst" or "Analist"?

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 10:26 | 3266624 toady
toady's picture

Anal cysts

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 10:33 | 3266648 ghengis86
ghengis86's picture

Analrapist

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 09:54 | 3266533 ABG LINE
ABG LINE's picture

Nice Wang.

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 10:00 | 3266554 Edward Fiatski
Edward Fiatski's picture

I haven't seen it, but must be Nice.

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 10:12 | 3266591 tbone654
tbone654's picture

I'm sure "Dick Hand" and "Rosie Biever" are on staff somewhere too...

(what parent would do that?)

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 10:26 | 3266625 WhyDoesItHurtWh...
WhyDoesItHurtWhen iPee's picture

Anyone seen Punta Kinte.

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 10:30 | 3266636 HoofHearted
HoofHearted's picture

The former head of mathematical research at NSA was Richard J. Shaker. And, yes, he went by the same nickname as Nixon did. Nearly lost my drink all over him when he introduced himself. Then I really didn't want to shake the man's hand.

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 10:45 | 3266695 toady
toady's picture

My dad and my older brother are Dick Burns.

I'm SO glad I was the second male child.

We often joke about naming children 'carpet' or 'rope'.

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 11:43 | 3267005 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture

 

 

"Tricky Dick Shaker"?

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 09:55 | 3266534 silver500
silver500's picture

now up to 3872

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 09:59 | 3266535 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Just send the coords for the drone strike.....and we're on it.

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 10:01 | 3266559 Navymugsy
Navymugsy's picture

You realize that if everybody carried a smartphone drone strikes would be that much easier, saving the US goverment untold millions. Just trying to be a good citizen.

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 12:30 | 3267190 BillyOblivion
BillyOblivion's picture

It doesn't have to be a smart phone. 

Any cellphone will do. 

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 10:02 | 3266563 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

I want Henry Kim's job. Looks like he gets paid for doing nothing.

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 10:03 | 3266569 Mercury
Mercury's picture

I swear, back in the day, pitching some student loan re-fi plan I dialed a (Cambodian?) female off the list named "Ima Ho".

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 10:05 | 3266573 Edward Fiatski
Edward Fiatski's picture

Fate is so cruel...

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 10:13 | 3266587 Mercury
Mercury's picture

So...it sounds like you have an income and a job...

 

Character building no doubt.

 

Of course one is reminded of Johnny Cash’s 'A Boy Named Sue' here.


Besides, if you filter your sales leads right, “Nice Wang from Yuanta Securities” makes getting to ‘yes I do!’ a whole lot easier.

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 10:14 | 3266595 larz
larz's picture

so was she?

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 10:05 | 3266575 gaoptimize
gaoptimize's picture

He/She should compare 15 minutes of fame experiences with Bang Dae Ho.

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 10:51 | 3266644 toady
toady's picture

I knew a chick named Idaho. Her parents thought it would be 'different', but clearly didn't think it through.

She said people always called her 'you da ho'.

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 10:06 | 3266578 monopoly
monopoly's picture

lol, And right on time here comes the dump on GLD. Love when everything works so well.

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 10:07 | 3266581 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Nice Wang is married to Lotta Gash.

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 10:14 | 3266593 dick cheneys ghost
dick cheneys ghost's picture

Dont they live next door to Tyrone Shoelaces?

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 10:22 | 3266610 Yamaha
Yamaha's picture

Where is Harry Balls?

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 10:14 | 3266594 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

Am I the only one who noticed Oscar Pastorius on the list? WTF?

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 10:32 | 3266643 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Why they have him as former track star. Just because He shoots and kills his girlfriend ?

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 10:33 | 3266647 a growing concern
a growing concern's picture

You mean Oscar "QuickDraw" Pistorius? Nope, I saw that too.

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 11:25 | 3266899 HoaX
HoaX's picture

I noticed his nickname is the same as that HBO prison series.

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 10:16 | 3266599 HD
HD's picture

I find nothing funny here. You people should be above such juvenile humor.

   Regards -

           Richard Head Ph.D

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 10:23 | 3266613 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

 'Asia Stocks Trade Mostly Up'

I guess if you're a Wang, up is the way to go...

 

http://www.advfn.com/news_ASIA-MARKETS-Asia-Stocks-Trade-Mostly-Up-But-S...

 

 

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 10:23 | 3266616 fuu
fuu's picture

David Einhorn hard at work.

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 10:30 | 3266635 Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture

 

 

Henry Kim

Hunter Killer

 

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 10:33 | 3266645 Gavrikon
Gavrikon's picture

It was a Nice Wang until Daniele Bititoff.

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 10:48 | 3266708 ThorAss
ThorAss's picture

Who can forget the former executive vice president of South Korean oil company KNOC Poo Bum-Suk who famously said "....we must go farther and dig deeper." I have his business card around somewhere.

 

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 10:50 | 3266719 Shell Game
Shell Game's picture

Every group of idiots shoudl have an 'Oz'....

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 10:53 | 3266741 NoTTD
NoTTD's picture

Next to be added to the list: Richard Head.

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 10:56 | 3266753 Agent P
Agent P's picture

Before you accuse Nice's parents of being extra cruel for this, you should talk to his brother, Small.

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 11:09 | 3266834 Whizbang
Whizbang's picture

I went to school with an indian guy with the first name of dongsuk

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 11:20 | 3266883 SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

These parents should have been a lot crueler; Midongshu Blankfein; Zirconia Pinkie Dimon; Billie Joesphine (B.J) Masters

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 11:21 | 3266888 awakening
awakening's picture

...and that was the last we ever saw of him; running and screaming frantically over the trading room floor after reading some article on 'that fringe blog' (ZH).

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 11:30 | 3266924 fuu
fuu's picture

From "You Want A Securities". People actually give these people money?

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 11:40 | 3266992 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture

ZH wouldn't let me sign up with Justin Urrkunt.  I think they thought it was a real person.

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 12:07 | 3267111 Dr.Vannostrand
Dr.Vannostrand's picture

I think this place is restricted Wang, so don't tell 'em your Jewish, okay?

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 12:09 | 3267120 hapless
hapless's picture

Beavis & Butthead Do Zero Hedge.

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 12:24 | 3267169 Mi Naem
Mi Naem's picture

I don't see what you children are laughing about. 

Signed,

         Richard Balden-Diaz

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 12:48 | 3267248 misnomer
misnomer's picture

Would Mike Hunt and Harry Dick report to the office please?

Always amused us in Junior High when these guys got called to see the principal.

Funny thing is, Harry named his son after him too, although the younger one prefers Harold...gee. I wonder why?

Fri, 02/22/2013 - 14:15 | 3267519 Caucasian Mongrel
Caucasian Mongrel's picture

We had a 'slow day' game at JP when I was working there, go through the directory randomly and see who could find the funniest or weirdest name. The game stopped when a friend came up with a guy in the Singapore office: Randy P Ennis

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