Late Friday Humor: Quantitative Easing Simplified

Tyler Durden's picture

With recent (post-Minutes) chatter of a gradually-tightening Fed since curtailed by a plethora of Federal Reserve market savants jawboning us back to creditopia - "the liquidity must flow"; we thought a gentle reminder of what Quantitative Easing really is was worthwhile. Whether goldbug, bond-vigilante, or permabull-stock-muppet; two-and-a-half minutes of reality (or comedy) depending on your perspective.



(h/t Rick B)

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
All Risk No Reward's picture

DJ, the first step is to properly understand the monetary system so that you aren't caught up in the false narrative engineered to set you up for a fall.

Money IS NOT printed.

Money IS issued as debt.

The difference is significant.

To bring this home to the average "Joe," the difference is between a counterfeiting printer producing purchasing power (the false narrative) and using your credit card to produce purchasing power.

Every time you use that credit card, you lose wealth - you do not create it.

Context is critical as well.  Everyone goes off about Argentina being a hyperinflation - and it was, just not for everyone.  If you were outside of Argentina's currency, you could actually buy more than before.  IOW, from the stand point of the Big Finance Capital Debt Money Cartel, it was a deflation. 

You also need to understand the shot callers.

WHO actually runs things?

Most people think the government does, but I beg to differ.  While Napoleon had many faults, he nailed it when he claimed...

“When a government is dependent upon bankers for money, they and not the leaders of the government control the situation, since the hand that gives is above the hand that takes. Money has no motherland; financiers are without patriotism and without decency; their sole object is gain.”
? Napoleon Bonaparte

Is America dependent on private interests to issue their debt based currency and credit?

Absolutely.  WHO runs the show?  The Big Finance Captial Debt Money Cartel is sovereign, NOT YOUR GOVERNMENT.

I get this sounds revolutionary, but it should - it is the truth in a world of lies and deceptions.

By DEFINITION, a sovereign government can not be dependent on its "operating system" (money) being controlled by a Big Finance Capital Debt Money Cartel.


Digging deeper, you'll see that this cartel is out contributes every other entity when it comes to financing the campaigns of those who run for office.  Digging deeper, you'll find out that this cartel finances the media and that this cartel exerts control over the multinationals that fund the media - you don't maximize profits in the media unless you promote the candidates that this cartel wants in office...  so they can do the bidding of the cartel while lying to the Muppets.

It follows that the real question to ask is...  what benefits the Big Finance Capital Debt Money Cartel?

They benefitted when they blew up an dhyperinflated Argentina's currency because it actually INCREASED THE PURCHASING POWER OF THE CARTEL!  You see, they weren't in Argentina currency...

They are in dollars, though.  They own/control trillions in dollar denominated debt (mortgages, car loans, student loans, etc...) and trillions more in debt receipts (society holds the unpayable debt, the cartel holds the debt receipt cash).

Let's role play.  You are Mr. Cartel Head.  Take that pinky and go Dr. Evil to get in the mood.

Do you tell your puppet Bernanke to hyperinflate and destroy your trillions in wealth?

Or, do you steal trillions and offload trillions in debt to society, accepting some amount of devaluation in the process, before restricting credit, collapsing the economy, bankrupting society (trading their cash for society's real chit), paying pennies on the dollar for whatever they can't get through bankruptcy and then hyperinflating at a much later date to balance their books?

When the question is properly framed, the answer is OBVIOUS.

BTW, now you know why the mega banks, which are Big Finance Capital Debt Money Cartel corporate fronts, are giving out 30 loans at 3% WHEN THEY ARE THE ONES WHO WILL DECIDE TO HYPERINFLATE OR NOT.

You never hear any of the straight to hyperinflationistas explain that, do you?  Nevah!  Why?  Because it is a contradiction and, therefore, exposes their theory as not being true.

Of course, a debt saturated society wants to believe they will be bailed out with cheaper dollars.  The mega banks are on the ender of that deal - Bernanke wants you to bleed, that's why he lies all day long trying to sucker the Muppets into making decisions that will destroy their family's future.

This is Art of War (all war is deception, bitchezzzz!) and these people are cold blooded criminals.

Debt Money Tyranny

If all the bank loans were paid up, no one would have a bank deposit, and there would not be a dollar of currency or coin in circulation. This is a staggering thought. We are completely dependent on the commercial banks for our money. Someone has to borrow every dollar we have in circulation, cash or credit. If the banks create ample synthetic money, we are prosperous; if not, we starve. We are absolutely without a permanent monetary system.  When one gets a complete grasp upon the picture, the tragic absurdity of our hopeless position is almost incredible - but there it is.  It (the monetary system problem) is the most important subject intelligent persons can investigate and reflect upon. It is so important that our present civilization may collapse unless it is widely understood and the defects remedied very soon.
Robert H. Hemphill, Credit Manager, Atlanta Federal Reserve Bank, in foreword to 100% Money by Irving Fisher 1936

Nicole Foss oon Finance and Bubbles

A Tribute to The Automatic Earth

Nicole Foss interviewed by Kunstler (MP3)...

Private interests control the world's money and they are doing for their own private benefit and the expense of everyone else.

All the bread and circus does is distract everyoen from this fundamental truth.


DaveyJones's picture

so that explains the picture's. Bonaparte's hand was always on his wallet

Floodmaster's picture

ZHr's should listen the first Nicole Foss video.

All Risk No Reward's picture

Yes, they should.  One caveat, Nicole is very confident in herself and she refers to past market tops that end up not being the market top.  ;-)

Her view is 100% right in the aggregate, IMHO, but the details are yet to be worked out - so don't necessarily take her short term prognostications as trading information (which she wouldn't recommend anyway).

She also doesn't expose the real reason why this whole criminal debt money Ponzi scheme is in play - the Human Predator Class reincarnated themselves as 5th grade math Debt Money Tyrant charlatans and they despise the common the person and enjoy destroying the common person and their futures.

This is a cold blooded, Art of War operation to seize control of the world and rule it in an authoritarian manner.

The collapse is engineered to bust people and empower the trillions they have in their front corporations so they can buy up the world with most people being none the wiser they were the victims of an asymmetrical warfare operation.

Classic Art of War at its best.

ebworthen's picture

"Serious question: can anyone cite an example of money printing which did not end in devaluation or hyper-inflation?"

Monopoly, though I suppose the cost of the game has experienced inflation.  And, the iron has been replaced with a kitty cat becuase younger generations don't know what in the hell an iron is.

Stuck on Zero's picture

Question: Can anyone cite an example of money printing which did not end in devaluation or hyper-inflation?


It's a method that enemies use to try to destroy the opponents currency.  Vicious enemies print up tons of the other guys currency and drop it from airplanes to create chaos and havoc in that country.  The allies and axis were busy doing this during world war II.  Now what does that make the Fed?



SWCroaker's picture

Re: Serious question: can anyone cite an example of money printing which did not end in devaluation or hyper-inflation?

I can only think of one instance.  In the days of Marco Polo, when the Silk Road was being opened, the Emperor of China gifted the distant rulers in the far west with (I'm working from memory here, so don't crucify me if the details are a bit off) something like two camels *loaded* with Chinese paper money.   The two western rulers (iirc it was something like a King/Pope combo at the time) looked upon the gift with great suspicion.   They hadn't invented paper money in the West at the time, and the bundles of script with runic markings on them looked like some sort of devil worshiping blasphemy.

So they burned all of it upon receipt.  The western world's first exposure to fiat, and our response was proper!  Some irony there...

As (dimly) recalled by me from Ralph T. Foster's Fiat Money.

MrSteve's picture

Every inflation has ended in ruinous deflation, destroying the value in the currency. Revaluations of currency, as seen in Venezuela most recently, are way-stations on the road of devaluation and eventual currency replacement.

That's how you get things like "new pesos"; the old currency is "demonetized", an official term applied to currency when its declared worthless. For instance, Belgian franc notes were demonetized when the Euro was adopted as Belgium's new currency.

All currencies are fairly valued against each other via GOLD, the standard.

PD Quig's picture

No, but remember: this time it's different.

kaiserhoff's picture

Glad you pointed that out.  For a minute there, I thought I was having a senior moment, or maybe spent too much time with flaky gf's copy of clairvoyance for dummies.   Don't laugh.  She has firm young titties, and I'm a perv.  What's your point?

For those who don't like reruns, try this from the land of our great rant raconteur, knuckels.


MiguelitoRaton's picture

If you are long Meg Whitman, you need glasses, how she could get you long is beyond me...

tsx500's picture

hey it's all pink on the inside !

ebworthen's picture



Yup, fake money, straw into "gold", and only for the bankers of course.

krispkritter's picture

 "Have you heard of Ben-will-print-stim"?  

flacon's picture

Wow yeah, I had forgotten that fable. Here is the plot for those who don't know:





In order to make himself appear more important, a miller lies to a king, telling him that his daughter can spin straw into gold. The king calls for the girl, shuts her in a tower room filled with straw and a spinning wheel, and demands that she spin the straw into gold by morning or he will cut off her head (other versions have the king threatening to lock her up in a dungeon forever). She has given up all hope when an imp-like creature appears in the room and spins the straw into gold for her in return for her necklace. When the king takes the girl on the next morning to a larger room filled with straw to repeat the feat, the imp spins in return for the girl's ring. On the third day, when the girl has been taken to an even larger room filled with straw and told by the king that he will marry her if she can fill this room with gold or kill her if she cannot, the girl has nothing left with which to pay the strange creature. He extracts from her a promise that her firstborn child will be given to him, and spins the room full of gold a final time.


The king keeps his promise to marry the miller's daughter, but when their first child is born, the imp returns to claim his payment: "Now give me what you promised." The now-queen offers him all the wealth she has if she may keep the child. The imp has no interest in her riches, but finally consents to give up his claim to the child if the queen is able to guess his name within three days. Her many guesses over the first two days fail, but before the final night, her messenger (though he does not know the significance of his mission) comes across the imp's remote mountain cottage and watches, unseen, as the imp hops about his fire and sings. In his song's lyrics, he reveals his name.


When the imp comes to the queen on the third day and she, after first feigning ignorance, then reveals his true name, Rumpelstiltskin. The imp loses his temper and his bargain. In the 1812 edition of the Brothers Grimm tales, Rumpelstiltskin then "ran away angrily, and never came back." The ending was revised in a final 1857 edition to a more gruesome ending wherein Rumpelstiltskin "in his rage drove his right foot so far into the ground that it sank in up to his waist; then in a passion he seized the left foot with both hands and tore himself in two." Other versions have Rumpelstiltskin driving his right foot so far into the ground that he creates a chasm and falls into it, never to be seen again. In the oral version originally collected by the brothers Grimm, Rumpelstiltskin flies out of the window on a cooking ladle (Heidi Anne Heiner).


Poor Grogman's picture

Start with a welfare state
Print to meet entitlements and other stuff.
Inflation pushes up the price of everything the welfare recipients demand
Print more to meet the increased cost
Inflation drives up costs of government providing services
Print more to meet increased cost of services.
People and politicians become aware that this is somehow a "free lunch"
Print more and more and more and more until the currency system is destroyed.

Introduce new currency system and repeat...

otto skorzeny's picture

except the new currency will be digital allowing EVERY transaction to be tracked and taxed and big biz records your buying habits

Poor Grogman's picture

The PTB would like that, Unfortunately (for them) I don't think it will be possible.

I Can't see us going fully digital without functioning Internet everywhere.
It Might work in the future in the EU and USA but some form of cash would still be needed for Kids pocket money, phone calls, baby sitters, as well as those larger transactions such as the often mentioned (on these pages) hookers and coke, and don't forget the horses! I don't see the queen using digital money for her annual flutter on the races, but hey maybe I'm just old fashioned..

Anyhow if the PTB tried full digital they would be inviting everyone to use bit coin which is already running, so I just don't see it.

A Lunatic's picture

Dear Federal Reserve, I recently requested, via an earlier ZH post in December, a delivery of 1 pallet of freshly minted Ben Franklins, which I have not yet received. I do have a forklift available for unloading, and Saturday delivery is not required. Your immediate attention in this matter will be appreciated.

A Lunatic.

lasvegaspersona's picture

paper money is required to buy paper get printing because we need more  of that!

Atlantis Consigliore's picture

Meester, meet my seester she is in Hispania, and we cant get our money out,

so i put all my money in Pounds and it is devalued, run on pounds next to 1.35

I want to get out of Europe quieeekly, maybe go to Moscva and be a capitalist.

Si Si,  Berspanky,  sue sue.

hope you go broke. 



Decolat's picture

Hey, we've got a printer in our craft room... Tell me the difference. Threats of coercion don't count.

Bansters-in-my- feces's picture

Iran to Execute 4 Bankers on Fraud Charges
Iran's judiciary system recently worked through the biggest banking fraud case in the nation's history.


shinobi-7's picture

Could some of these "quantitative easings" be forwarded to my account? I pledge to spend the money wisely and quickly. Since I can't dig a hole in the street, there are other people doing that already, I will dig one in my garden proportional to the amount allotted. I am also ready to build a bridge above if it improves my bid as well as buy a Chevy Volt to cross it and to pull the lawn mower.

ebworthen's picture

So I have yet to hear any of the MSM dolts compare the $85 Billion Sequester this year to the $85 Billion PER MONTH of FED Mortgage Backed Securities purchases to benefit the bankers.


MiltonFriedmansNightmare's picture

EB, I just had the same thought. Barry threatens to close air traffic control towers and throw a wrench into the air transportation system over a trifling 2% cut as he jets off to Palm Springs....UFR how ignorant the sheeple are. They truly deserve the shearing they are about to get.

alfred b.'s picture


    Well OK, now I get it!  At first, you call it money printing!  Then once the smart people realize what is happening, you change its name to 'Quantitive Easing', and then when even the sheeple class get wise to you, the next step will be to call it ' Financial Vitamin '....of course: it all makes sense now!!!


Manipuflation's picture

LOL Tylers.  Please allow me pimp a bit here.  I have the utmost respect for how much work the Tylers put into adding content and managing the backside of a website. 

If anyone wants to publish written text, my e-mail is  Let me check it out.  I am not the police and I am not an expert on everything.(anything)

The site is only a week old so give me a little break.

Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Well, since one good re-post deserves another, here's one from another ZH blogger some days ago:

"Global Debt For Dummies" is a good prequel to Tyler's above clip.  Cheers, mates.  Who's paying?

Waterfallsparkles's picture

Sometimes I wonder if the Fed is doing this to totally impoverish the American people.  Then swoop in and buy all of the assets.  Leaving us as Serfs on our own soil.

Downtoolong's picture

I think these guys out onioned the Onion with this one.  I can't believe how much that bankster character reminds me of Hank Paulson. He's got my voter for an Oscar.

Bungalow's picture

But every junkies like a settin sun.

Fix It Again Timmy's picture

How to tell if your child will grow up to be a central banker:


NitneLiun's picture

Spanky Bernanke. That has a nice ring to it.

World of Debt's picture

Funny music video about the world debt situation!!

alfbell's picture

If you sell your gold right now and live in Calif it comes to 40% in taxes. The "Gold Solution" of Americans will be handled by TPTB with heavy taxation, which will dissuade any future trading and hoarding of gold. When you dig up some of your gold to exchange it for whatever the existing currency is, so that you can buy groceries and fuel, you'll probably wind up paying a 75% tax on it so it will have the same purchasing power as the existing currency. TPTB are ego-centric and evil, but not dumb.

Herkimer Jerkimer's picture




This never gets old.



pndr4495's picture

Their " European Debt Crisis " video is equally funny .  Their Auzzie acents seem to me to make the farce somewhat more credible .  It's a crime what the banking cabal has done not only to America but every other country .  When the common man wakes up and sees who to blame for his dismal condition , there will be problems .

Super Broccoli's picture

"Dave, it's not gona work. I've just explained it to a bloke and he saw thru it straight away. He's not even in banking"