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Behold The Horror Of The Sequester... In Context

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Behold the sheer austerity-inducing horror and pure, mortal terror of the, dum dum dum, SEKWESTER!!! Do not pass go and proceed straight to Armageddon.

h/t @Not_jim_cramer

 

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Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:30 | 3274908 Ruffcut
Ruffcut's picture

The big O'Turd has given the big bird his walking papers.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:36 | 3274941 Supernova Born
Supernova Born's picture

...and the mountain that dwarfs the Sequester molehill sits like Vesuvius over Pompeii.

Strike a pose when it blows.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:47 | 3274969 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

Speaking of putting whores in context, don't worry about these little healthy market corrections "...sudden evaporations of meaningful prices for many major exchange-listed stocks in the middle of a trading day."  Mary better still be on it nearly three years later.

"The absurd result of valuable stocks being executed for a penny likely was attributable to the use of a practice called “stub quoting.” When a market order is submitted for a stock, if available liquidity has already been taken out, the market order will seek the next available liquidity, regardless of price. When a market maker’s liquidity has been exhausted, or if it is unwilling to provide liquidity, it may at that time submit what is called a stub quote – for example, an offer to buy a given stock at a penny. A stub quote is essentially a place holder quote because that quote would never – it is thought – be reached. When a market order is seeking liquidity and the only liquidity available is a penny-priced stub quote, the market order, by its terms, will execute against the stub quote. In this respect, automated trading systems will follow their coded logic regardless of outcome, while human involvement likely would have prevented these orders from executing at absurd prices. As noted below, we are reviewing the practice of displaying stub quotes that are never intended to be executed."

   

-Mary Schapiro
May 2010

A new test appeared on January 8, 2013. Some of the more nefarious algos run tests by rapidly placing and canceling orders in a way to fool other algorithms into showing themselves, to freak humans out, or in this case to artificially create stub quotes. Stub quotes, a significant cause of bad fills during the Flash Crash, were banned by the SEC. Well, here's one way an algo can appear to meet Stub Quote requirements, but back-off the market in a way that all the benefits of stub quotes remain intact.

 

http://www.nanex.net/aqck2/4062.html

Feel better?

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:48 | 3275002 MillionDollarBoner_
MillionDollarBoner_'s picture

Sorry.

Mary can't come to the phone right now.

She is being spit-roasted by Gary and Bart.

As soon as they are done they will be right on it...

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:59 | 3275050 Pinto Currency
Pinto Currency's picture

 

There is no way the economy can reach "escape velocity" unless our central banks and government together continue to print and spend money that does not exist while increasing the debt.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 18:19 | 3275448 wisefool
wisefool's picture

Sarc: The technological breakthrough we need is drones that can enforce the tax code. Not only the wet work, but also the brainwork. Think of the children! Think of Lord Maynard Keynes! Worst case:  TARP 'em and kick the can 'till it will work properly.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 18:39 | 3275522 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

THE SEQUESTER [narrated by Marlon Brando]

~~~

"I’ve seen horrors, horrors that you’ve seen. But you have no right to call me a murderer. You have a right to kill me. You have a right to do that, but you have no right to judge me. It’s impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what horror means...

....Horror. Horror has a face...And you must make a friend of horror. Horror and moral terror are your friends. If they are not then they are enemies to be feared. They are truly enemies. I remember when I was with Special Forces...Seems a thousand centuries ago...We went into a camp to innoculate the children. We left the camp after we had innoculated the children for Polio, and this old man came running after us and he was crying. He couldn't see. We went back there and they had come and hacked off every innoculated arm. There they were in a pile...A pile of little arms. And I remember...I...I...I cried...I wept like some grandmother. I wanted to tear my teeth out. I didn't know what I wanted to do. And I want to remember it. I never want to forget it. I never want to forget. And then I realized...like I was shot...Like I was shot with a diamond...a diamond bullet right through my forehead...And I thought: My God...the genius of that. The genius. The will to do that. Perfect, genuine, complete, crystalline, pure. And then I realized they were stronger than we. Because they could stand that these were not monsters...These were men...trained cadres...these men who fought with their hearts, who had families, who had children, who were filled with love...but they had the strength...the strength...to do that. If I had ten divisions of those men our troubles here would be over very quickly...

You have to have men who are moral...and at the same time who are able to utilize their primordal instincts to kill without feeling...without passion...without judgement...without judgement. Because it's judgement that defeats us."

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 18:43 | 3275538 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

Was that Obama's State of The Union speech?

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 18:47 | 3275551 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

No ~ it was when he yipped the 2 footer on 18 for the hockey stick instead of the snowman...

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 19:58 | 3275798 Big Slick
Big Slick's picture

Problem is GDP is overestimated by 35%.  That makes sequester... well, still kinda small

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 20:24 | 3275873 willwork4food
willwork4food's picture

If my 2013 bonus and 10% raise comes through next year, I'll still be able to afford the credit card's 5% minimum.

I should still have enough to go online until then.

 

http://www.north49.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/girl_online2.jpg

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 20:00 | 3275807 The Thunder Child
The Thunder Child's picture

The US Dollar and most of the economy is on Fed life support and the prognosis is terminal. Once Obama signs the UN small arms treaty at the end of March they will pull the plug.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 19:30 | 3275710 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Nah, I believe you're thinking of his "new era of responsibility" speech back in 2009...said another way...about 5.5 trillion in debt ago.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 18:24 | 3275473 Freebird
Freebird's picture

hat tip Lol

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:59 | 3275004 Pinto Currency
Pinto Currency's picture

dbl post

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:49 | 3275005 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

GIGO strikes again!

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:37 | 3274954 James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

I keep reading that it's no big deal at all only to have some random article appear that the sequester will be the end of western civilization as we know it, complete with quotes from .gov

It's a funny mix. 

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:48 | 3275000 macholatte
macholatte's picture

 

 

It's called propaganda and is designed to demonize anyone who opposes the Progressives. The concept of doing something to benefit the people is irrelevant. Controlling the sheeple is what's important.

 

Rhetorical Criticism 101:  Republican members of Congress are not rational, they have “dangerous” thoughts and they do “odious” things to the American people.

MSNBC, With Ex-Obama Aides, Now Almost ‘A Bona Fide Organ of State Propaganda’

http://daily-download.com/msnbc-ex-obama-aides-a-bona-fide-organ-state-p...

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 18:44 | 3275542 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

The thing is that Obama can make his threats come true!

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 19:58 | 3275799 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Puppets don't make threats.

Is it really so impossible for people to see through the facade?

Obama is a NOBODY, like all of the other "leaders." They appear lifelike only to the ability to respond to the pulling of the strings. ALL of them are instantly replacable, should they ever forget the fact.

Just ask JFK.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 20:16 | 3275830 AssFire
AssFire's picture

Is it really so impossible for people to see through the facade?

To his promise- He is the most transparent, I see right through that MF.

RE: NOBODY:

Well, that NOBODY increased my "Negro Fatigue" worse than ever before. Never seen the country more divided, races so sick and tired of one another.

I think he has made my opinion of all Negro's ability to actually produce something of material value decrease ten-fold.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 20:20 | 3275853 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Well puppet or not, it needs to be brought to everyones attention where this latest iteration of "can kicking" (sequester) came from.

It came from the White House.

So if we're searching for puppet masters, we would also need to know who...in the WH.

"The president and Lew had this wrong. My extensive reporting for my book “The Price of Politics” shows that the automatic spending cuts were initiated by the White House and were the brainchild of Lew and White House congressional relations chief Rob Nabors — probably the foremost experts on budget issues in the senior ranks of the federal government."

http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/bob-woodward-obamas-sequester-deal-changer/2013/02/22/c0b65b5e-7ce1-11e2-9a75-dab0201670da_print.html

Suuurprise, suuurprise, suuurprise.

It's Jack Lew (who will be voted in as the new Treasury Secretary tomorrow) and Gomer Pyle's distant cousin ;-)

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 20:24 | 3275870 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

i have the suspicion that Hagel was nominated solely to divert attention from Lew's confirmation so that he could fly under the radar.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 21:16 | 3276051 nmewn
nmewn's picture

I think you're right...these guys are great at distraction and they don't mind being caught red-handed in their lies so their short term plan can succeed. But this course of action doesn't have much of a shelf life, as the lies pile up, another distraction is needed to divert attention from the last lie instead of their long term plan...just like debt and dams...it piles up against them with no relief in sight...but to tell yet another lie or distract.

People begin to become concerned with the integrity of the dam ;-)

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 21:48 | 3276147 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

funny, was just having the same conversation with a local Dem party chair this weekend.   (don't worry, our get together was completely unrelated to politics.)   based on that conversation, have a strong feeling that the cracks are beginning to be noticable to even the ol' faithful.   still may take awhile to fully break the cogdis, but the tide is a'risin fo sure.

also had a lively discussion about the hidden similarities between the hippies & the rednecks.  you woulda enjoyed that one!

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 22:53 | 3276360 nmewn
nmewn's picture

lol...I was a democrat for years...still consider myself (liberal)...don't tell anyone ;-)

But anti-progressive to the max as you've noticed, which is statist-Marxist.

They lost me on gun rights, fiscal responsibility and the ever growing federal state. The other side talks a good game but when it comes right down to it...they want to be re-elected in order to spend other peoples money the way they want to spend it.

They don't say..."Look at the money I stole from someone else"...which is true. They say..."I brought your tax dollars back home."...which is mostly false depending on where you live.

Such tripe.

Why send the dollars away from "home" to DC in the first place? So, the feds can get their cut?...what a racket.

Its a devolutionary process, reverse engineering, we're working on it...don't believe everything you hear about TeaBaggers...lol.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 23:12 | 3276414 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

as someone who identifies as a halfbreed of the two, i choose to strongly believe that if the hippies & the rednecks ever learned to respect (not necessarily resolve) each other's differences, they would create a political & cultural force so strong that they could wipe out the statists, fascists & parasites in relatively short order.    this is most likely why so much time & energy is spent in keeping them at each others' throats.  

(note to nsa: i'm speaking in spiritual terms, not physical ones, so put your drone back in your pocket)

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 19:12 | 3279676 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Well, you're right tip, people are predisposed to pigeon-holing other people...hell, I'm guilty of it...we're only human.

Being born in the South, I have natural inclinations, toward fishing, hunting, football (college), independence to the point of jealously obsessing over it. Being a "freak" as we called ourselves back in the day (same as a hippy, just without the Marxism) and a beach bum it starts getting pretty hard to do it with "my kind".

Native Floridians have always been a little hard to understand/relate to...we really don't mind smugglers (of all types) because its in our blood...same with booze taxes.

The biggest clashes used to be between hippies and rednecks...and rednecks & bikers...not so much anymore. As the generations move by the "old rednecks" die off replaced by their son's & daughters...me & you...and we realize we have more in common than our parents might have had.

And we're not hung up about saying so ;-)

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:35 | 3274931 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

Nice images. 

It's a hoot to watch the MSM get all hyperventilated about the newest Warshenden DC brou-ho-hum.

It won't get serious until... well, when it gets serious-er.

My newest acquisition, a nice roll of ASEs, is giving comfort in these tumultuous times.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:58 | 3275047 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

Our Press and Prez thrive on fear mongering.  It empowers them, it's crisis management 101.  if we don't do xyz, then it's all over, the children will starve.  That's how they fool the fools into geting in line.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:34 | 3274938 redpill
redpill's picture

And yet somehow the first things that must be cut are veteran healthcare and aid to the poor, right?

 

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:40 | 3274955 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

Naturally, that's what stirs the innards of the common folk.  Gramma getting hosed will work every time, or our "brave heroes in uniform".

Taxes on the rich won't "Fix" the problem in its entirety, so we can't do that.

Stopping meals on wheels won't fix it either, but that's what gets proposed.

I say throw every one of them under the nearest bus: Rich, poor, granny, wars.... everyone.

Got any better ideas?  IF not, just watch while Nero fiddles and DC burns.   I kinda like the whole idea.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:46 | 3274992 redpill
redpill's picture

Let's list out all the things we spend money on and have a national referendum on what percentage of funding they should each receive.  What percentage do you think overseas drone warfare is going to get in a popular vote?

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:50 | 3275006 blu
blu's picture

Well that depends. Are there any oil contracts put at risk from not flying the drones?

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:50 | 3275008 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

Are we talking actual votes, or reported votes?

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 17:46 | 3275287 A82EBA
A82EBA's picture

if only we controlled the us

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 18:16 | 3275440 toothpicker
toothpicker's picture

MOAR trickle down effect!! It works so good. Pour champagne on the rich so they can piss on us

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 19:09 | 3275619 Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture

Overseas. How about the one straight up over our heads?

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 20:00 | 3275806 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

That sure is a LOT of blue pill talk, there.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:50 | 3274994 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

Never cut the Obama's staff and travel budgets.  Maybe they don't need a projectionist on staff 24/7 at the White House, or the $100K+/yr presidential dog handler?  Give me a fucking break.  Moochelle "don't let them eat cake" Obama's personal staff of 60+ people, come on.

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2210323/Obama-family-costs-taxpa...

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 17:27 | 3275199 ForTheWorld
ForTheWorld's picture

The interesting thing is that the British Royal Family only costs the British taxpayer $60 million a year. I wonder how many other income streams they have.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 19:58 | 3275795 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

I would venture to guess the Windsors are founding, dividend receiving shareholders of the US Federal Reserve Bank. 

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 20:18 | 3275848 Richard III
Richard III's picture

Upon the founding of the Federal Reserve in 1913, the Ancestral House of the ruling Family was known as Saxe-Coburg and Gotha -- The Great War and King George's familial relation to the Kaiser made them...the "Windsors."

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 18:55 | 3275580 Overfed
Overfed's picture

And as any prog will tell ya', they're worth every penny!

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 19:10 | 3275623 Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture

Do you realize that Obama and Michelle think they are JayZ and Beyonce. Can't cut the staff. Can't.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 19:33 | 3275728 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Can't touch dis!

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 20:04 | 3275812 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Obummer and JayZ both wanna be each other, as they are both pretenders looking to be great. Beyonce is the only one of the four with any skills worth having.

 

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 20:15 | 3275847 ncdirtdigger
ncdirtdigger's picture

When did being a fat ass become a talent?

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 20:25 | 3275877 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

too bad she sold her soul to the devil.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 20:31 | 3275903 jumbo maverick
jumbo maverick's picture

On the subject of our "brave heroes in uniform" I hope they cut their budget so much they have to eat three squares a day of only MREs

People need a little discomfort. It will help them think better. Might make them think "hey why are they making us eat MREs everyday?" Or " why they making us stay in Afghanistan so long" or better yet "I bet they ain't eating MREs at the congressional cafeteria" and that leads to all sorts more questions.

And being a veteran I think I'm allowed to say the above listed comment.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:40 | 3274968 blu
blu's picture

Their respective high-paid lobbyists will be right on that, working the Congressional floor handing out rolls of Benjamins.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 19:47 | 3275766 Swarmee
Swarmee's picture

Ahem. The appropriate term is 'Benjiuana'.

Green, easy to roll, keeps the market high, and that shit grows like weeds.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 20:05 | 3275818 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

I thought he meant a roll of Franklin halves. Damn, where is my head at?

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 18:30 | 3275493 fuu
fuu's picture

Social Security.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 19:07 | 3275614 AmCockerSpaniel
AmCockerSpaniel's picture

If they want a march on the capital, all they have to do is end SNAP's.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 19:49 | 3275774 EscapingProgress
EscapingProgress's picture

Politicians hate the military. I don't know why anybody joins. You get sent overseas to kill some schmuck who you have more in common with than the people who sent you there. Some of your friends die. Your gf/wife dumps you. Then you finally come home and all of the dicks who sent you overseas are grand standing on the graves of your friends and don't miss the opportunity to piss on your face by cutting the benefits you were promised...times is tough. Oh, and don't forget about the guilt/PTSD that will haunt you FOREVER.

Politicians also hate the poor which is why they created the conditions for a permanent underclass called "the poor".

It makes perfect sense that they would cut transfers to veterans and poor people first. They hate them.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 20:18 | 3275852 jballz
jballz's picture

 

You have it about right. I hate the poor. Not so much the vets, but I do think they whine too much. They think being a dumb grunt is a white collar career and they deserve lifetime coddling for a few years doing push ups and getting shitfaced in dirty coutries. It gets old. The military should be 100% volunteer. No pay, zilch. Fuck em. If it's worth killing and dying for, you will do it anyway. If it isn't, you won't put your ass on a plane to go enforce an oil contract for a douchebag CEO with the gov in his pocket. Some of them come out pretty capable workers though,

But the poor, they are totally useless. Much as I am opposed to fema camps for everyone, I have to admit moving all the trailer trash and gang bangers to there makes all the sense in the world. Think of it as aulk discount on the welfare checks. 

your future, broke bitchez.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 20:08 | 3275829 jballz
jballz's picture

 

fuck the poor.

 

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 20:41 | 3275943 jumbo maverick
jumbo maverick's picture

Yeah fuck them. They wear pajama pants all day even when they leave the house and I have to see them. Fuck them

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:39 | 3274964 Ruffcut
Ruffcut's picture

It is the suckfester. It is only the beginning to more uncle fester blow jobs to come.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:24 | 3274871 SafelyGraze
SafelyGraze's picture

small compared to gdp, but huge when compared to npr and pbs budgets

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:23 | 3274873 BKbroiler
BKbroiler's picture

the horror.  think of the children.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:39 | 3274963 Water Is Wet
Water Is Wet's picture

Yeah, if we don't stop the sequester some Afghani and Pakistani children might live.  The horror!

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:43 | 3274984 blu
blu's picture

I'm pretty sure the Afghan and Paki kids are dust regardless of budget cuts. The military are gonna have their toys, yessir. And their live-fire training exercises; need to keep the drone pilots warmed up for the main event back in Detroit.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:46 | 3274991 a growing concern
a growing concern's picture

Must...kill...more...brown people...

-Uncle Sam

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:42 | 3274979 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

That's been the liberal meme for as long as I can remember.  Look at the children now...raised by the state with no structure or love, victims of selfish fuckers looking for their day in the spot light.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 17:54 | 3275345 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

How about 60 million aborted fetuses since Roe v. Wade?

I guess it's a lot easier to "care for children" when you kill them before they come out of the womb.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 18:46 | 3275549 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

@Harbanger "Look at the children now...raised by the state with no structure or love, victims of selfish fuckers looking for their day in the spot light."

They are narcissistic, spoiled, entitled, brainwashed, zombie consumer, mass produced, homogenized, fragile, hypersensitive, immune-deficient and "legal" drug addled offspring and will fill their parent's roles with ease in the nanny state where it's easy to not have to think for one's self and pass the buck because it's always the other person's fault just like it's always society's fault.  The blame game will go on as if all the mirrors are opaque.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 20:09 | 3275831 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

You left out the scariest thing of all..."they are our future".

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 19:12 | 3275628 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

How about 60 million aborted fetuses since Roe v. Wade?

A good start, it's cheaper than trying to educate, police, lock up, and execute them. As long as we have a military that drone strikes the shit out of kids, first responders, and soon to be americans, it's important to remember that killing is killing. I'm waiting for the upcoming Drone Vs. Wade trial. 

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 20:52 | 3275987 dtwn
dtwn's picture

If you believe the ideas put forth by the Freakonomics dudes, which I do tend to agree with, then abortion is also responsible for the decrease in the crime rate.   If unwanted conceptuses were being aborted, they probably wouldn't have had a good family life anyway.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 19:13 | 3275632 Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture

The truth of the matter also is that the majority of these babies are from minority families.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 19:46 | 3275761 isudas
isudas's picture

As soon as you said "truth" the lie spewed forth.  Do the math.  Why do you think the minoirty groups are growing and idiots have no population growth?  Because you are killing your children in the womb. I have seen enough people getting welfare checks to know that minorites have no problem having children.  

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 20:24 | 3275869 Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture

Here is the stat ... Black women are more than 4.8 times more likely than non-Hispanic white women to have an abortion, and Hispanic women are 2.7 times as likely (AGI).

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 05:08 | 3276847 kareninca
kareninca's picture

Per the CDC, 45 percent of African American pregnancies end in abortion.

15 percent of Caucasian pregnancies end in abortion.

Per the Population Reference Bureau, the birth rate in 2010 for whites was 1.8, for blacks 2.0, and for latinas 2.4 (the latina part of the population is a lot younger on average)

So birth rates are converging, for different ethnicities. 

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 18:26 | 3275480 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

You mean no more "tickling" by Elmo?

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:23 | 3274874 ArkansasAngie
ArkansasAngie's picture

But ... but ... but ...

He's holding a gun against my head.

Ooops.  My bad.  Pea shooter more like it.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:24 | 3274878 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Nooooooooooooooo!

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:25 | 3274879 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

Can't we fast forward in time already and laugh at the idiots tearing their hair out when they see that half the budget has to be cut overnight??

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:25 | 3274882 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

We're doooomed, Gulliver.  Doooomed!

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:34 | 3274936 kliguy38
kliguy38's picture

Can't they just get along mummy??

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:26 | 3274883 steve from virginia
steve from virginia's picture

 

 

 

No sequester please!

 

We're British.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:26 | 3274887 Ribeye
Ribeye's picture

Somebody put a whole truckload of sugar into that cup of austeri-tea,

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:26 | 3274888 Schmuck Raker
Schmuck Raker's picture

[much gnashing of teeth]

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:48 | 3275003 a growing concern
a growing concern's picture

On the plus side, my sackcloth and ashes triple levered ETF is going to the moon, bitchez!

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:26 | 3274889 Jack Sheet
Jack Sheet's picture

We regret that as of March 1, TSA employees will be able only to insert 1 inch of finger into nether garments and body cavities instead of the full length, due to budgetary restrictions. We ask for your understanding.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:29 | 3274895 monopoly
monopoly's picture

Perfect, just perfect, now another 900 billion and we will be able to match our spending. Almost there. Ha!

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:28 | 3274896 reTARD
reTARD's picture

Browsing of ZH is now providing me the following advertisement:

"Call of Roma" - One Click for a Roman Orgy! Click Now!

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:29 | 3274900 catacl1sm
catacl1sm's picture

That's because we're dirty old bastards. I know you want to click it... click it

 

click it

 

 

 

 

 

 

click it

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

click it

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:32 | 3274927 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Well, before you click, the main question you have to ask is:

~~~

Do you like movies about 'Gladiators'?

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 17:58 | 3275371 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Joey... did you ever hang around the gymnasium?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2A194yTWoQ

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:29 | 3274904 blu
blu's picture

That's not an ad. That's a new ZH service. You should check it out I met a really nice ...

Oh wait, Tyler is saying that one is invitation only. My bad. Forget I mentioned it.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:32 | 3274924 reTARD
reTARD's picture

I just found my soulmate... twice! LOL

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:43 | 3274985 Hobbleknee
Hobbleknee's picture

Google displays ads based on your search habits.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 17:03 | 3275061 blu
blu's picture

I bought a Snorg-t a while back just to keep getting the ads. Some of those t-shirt chicks are teh hotness.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 17:03 | 3275067 philosophers bone
philosophers bone's picture

So apparently I like silver coins and Asian broads, which I get.  But also Cougars?  Never should have visited that damn MILF site!!

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 17:16 | 3275146 blu
blu's picture

I'm going to start shoulder-surfing you for the ads.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 20:14 | 3275846 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

Same here.  I swear I thought they meant cougarands.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:28 | 3274897 blu
blu's picture

This is 0% about the budget and 100% about visuals.

There is no solution. They know that, boy do they. They just don't want the rest of us to know that. If we knew even a fracton of what they know -- knew even a fraction of how bad things really are -- the suicide rate would go through the roof. There is no way out and no hope of ever finding a way out ever for evar.

People are going to start to disappear because of how bad things are. Just disappear without a trace, taking whole families into nothing.

That's how bad things are.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 18:12 | 3275429 orez65
orez65's picture

Yes there is.

Hyperinflation, it happens in Latin America on a regular basis and they go on.

Except that they are used to it, so they prepare.

But, Americans, they are clueless, they are so naive.

So they are going to get royally fucked.

They just can't believe that their beloved Federal Government is going to fuck them.

All assets in US Dollar denominated assets will be wiped out.

But it won't be theend of the world.

Maybe a little wiser.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 19:41 | 3275750 Bingfa
Bingfa's picture

Everybody that has truly been paying attention knows it's over

It's gonna hurt like hell

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:28 | 3274898 JLee2027
JLee2027's picture

Only 46 billion in cuts right? I hope it happens. Someone sometime somewhere has to stop these assholes.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:56 | 3275032 hawk nation
hawk nation's picture

Its called a complete financial collapse and that is what will stop them and make them the ones being hunted down

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 19:12 | 3275629 yogibear
yogibear's picture

It's the only thing that will stop the recklessness.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:28 | 3274899 Sleepless Knight
Sleepless Knight's picture

Political grandstanding at its finest. What a bunch of asses.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:29 | 3274903 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Everybody do as I say or the nigger get it!

-Teh new sherriff

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:31 | 3274915 blu
blu's picture

He desperate! Do what he say! Do what he say!

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:51 | 3275012 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

The little bastard shot me in the ass.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 18:56 | 3275584 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Oh trust me, he's shot all of us in the ass except his buddies and supporters.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 22:26 | 3276266 peter4805
peter4805's picture

His buddies get something different in the ass.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:53 | 3275018 a growing concern
a growing concern's picture

Prescient. They're so fucking afraid that we'll realize we don't need our huge ass bloated federal government if these cuts occur and the world still exists the next day.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 17:13 | 3275128 blu
blu's picture

Most of the budget is SS, Medicare/caid and military spending.

Probably 50% of the country will always need SS and Medicare/caid, and probably 10% more work for the military in some fashion, including these days in the local police.

And those programs will never see any cuts of any kind ever for evar and eternity until the collpase of the western democracy.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:30 | 3274905 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

Judging from all the noise, you would think this is about secastration.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 20:20 | 3275860 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

we already have "Seacrestration".  Thats where the whole cuntry is completely absorbed by the meaningless antics of low-grade celebraties.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:30 | 3274911 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

OH NOEZ! Can't we just pile on more huge debt to stop this great threat to our beloved gubmint?

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:32 | 3274926 blu
blu's picture

I don't know if it's a good idea, but that is exactly what they plan on doing, have planned on doing all along, and will do with all haste once this silly "debate" is safely behind them.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:55 | 3275025 a growing concern
a growing concern's picture

SAVE FERRIS

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:30 | 3274912 tempo
tempo's picture

does sequester mean people are moved to prison camps?

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:32 | 3274919 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

nope it means they get a free checked shirt to have with their free sandwiches

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:55 | 3275024 Bandit und Buster
Bandit und Buster's picture

2 million are already there...

www.thrivemovement.com 

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:30 | 3274913 catacl1sm
catacl1sm's picture

If miniscule cuts like this hurt so deep, imagine what real cuts will do. Negative GDP will be revealed.

 

FWIW, the miniscule cuts are going to really affect the area around Washington.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:34 | 3274937 somethingisrotten
somethingisrotten's picture

"the miniscule cuts are going to really affect the area around Washington"

AS THEY SHOULD!

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 17:48 | 3275299 John Law Lives
John Law Lives's picture

I think you hit the nail on the head.  I think the Obumble Administration knows how weak the "recovery" is and that spending cuts could put GDP into negative territory (again).  Thus, I think he is blaming Republicans now in the event we get two consecutive quarters of negative GDP growth (i.e. recession).  He doesn't want a recession on his watch.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 18:18 | 3275446 orez65
orez65's picture

Real GDP is already negative if you correct it with the REAL inflation rate.

Anybody that believes inflation is running at about 2% needs a brain transplant.

I feel like I'm living between the covers of the book 1984!!

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 20:24 | 3275874 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

you are! You are also living between the sheets with 598 bloody buggerers and you are the only one with a virgin arse.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:31 | 3274917 are we there yet
are we there yet's picture

It won't even effect Obama's vacation luxuries.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:32 | 3274922 optimator
optimator's picture

The troops will have nothing to eat.  Military aircraft won't be able to fly.  TSA guys won't be there to demean passengers, IRS won't be there to collect, SEC guys won't be there to .............do whatever it is they don't do anyway..;.will have to watch porn at  home...disaster....

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 20:26 | 3275880 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

Damn, you paint a nice picture of Utopia.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:32 | 3274925 Piranhanoia
Piranhanoia's picture

the Sekwester must affect the skimming of scum off the top that goes directly into certain pockets for them to be this upset.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:32 | 3274928 TrustWho
TrustWho's picture

Give'em old "Hacksaw AL" for President.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 20:10 | 3275836 Mike in GA
Mike in GA's picture

 

 

LOL...Hacksaw Al?  What, did we run out of oil already?!

Surely you mean Chainsaw Al Dunlap, the infamous corporate takeover 'guru' and author of "Management by Lying, Plundering and Chopping Around"?

He's the guy that killed Sunbeam and before that every company he ever touched.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_J._Dunlap

While his is a sorry story it should be noted his shenanigans were eventually discovered by an astute analyst who noticed sales of a seasonal product were unusually high and continued due diligence till the imposter was unmasked.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 21:27 | 3276087 TrustWho
TrustWho's picture

Exactly, 1 of 4 was terminated at Scott Paper. The private sector has been slaughtered by maniacs and no bleeding heart liberal shed one tear.

I sit next to Hacksaw on a plane from Philly to London. He was a trip and did a Jon Corzine before Corzine.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:34 | 3274934 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

'Sequester' old Latin- 'To transfer property to trustee'....well this doesn't sound too good.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 17:22 | 3275166 The Heart
The Heart's picture

"'Sequester' old Latin- 'To transfer property to trustee'....well this doesn't sound too good."

"Sequester' new world babalonian term- 'to kill populations and take properties'-synonymous with Austerity, Agenda-21, price hikes, higher taxes, less wages, and more world war for the banksters profits.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:35 | 3274940 PUD
PUD's picture

ONLY TAKES ONE SNOWFLAKE TO START THE AVALANCHE

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:35 | 3274942 economessed
economessed's picture

So does this mean we're all going to get free iPhone 4's instead of 5's?

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:37 | 3274951 darteaus
darteaus's picture

Worse than I thought..

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:37 | 3274953 PAWNMAN
PAWNMAN's picture

This "president " has the uncanny ability to piss down everyone's back and convince most of them it's raining.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:37 | 3274956 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 Holy shit Batman the Nikkei(CFD's) is down 4%!

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:40 | 3274967 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Never mind that $85 Billion per month to buy MBS's to benefit the banks.

Oh no, this $85 Billion over a year will CRIPPLE THE NATION; therefore, we need to impose austerity on the little people, and raise your taxes.

So, did the sheeple notice that their taxes went up starting January?

Do they realize it was a bi-partisan effort to raise taxes on citizens while funding the banks and cutting already taxed entitlements?

Do they realize the next step is retirement age moved to 70, and even more expensive "health"care with less covered and fewer options?

Us frogs are being boiled, slowly.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:46 | 3274995 blu
blu's picture

People will put up with all that if it means they don't catch a Hellfire missle at the dinner table some evening.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:58 | 3275045 Bandit und Buster
Bandit und Buster's picture

GOTTA SEE "THRIVE" THE MOVIE

www.thrivemovement.com

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 18:18 | 3275447 jomama
jomama's picture

at first i thought this whole sequester charade was about the monthly injection, since the dollar amounts match nicely.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 20:07 | 3275815 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

I think it was coincidence.

I think (believe) TPTB know that 99% of Americans have no idea the FED is buying $85 Billion a month to buy MBS's to benefit the banks.

What the sheeple will hear are the 30 second soundbites from Ray "in da'hood" LaHood and other messages of doom to keep the bank/Wall Street/Plutocrat/Kleptocrat bailout balls-to-the-wall "fuck main street and the nation" gravy train chooming along.

If I had zero morals, ethics, heart, or a soul I could be at the top of this game.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 20:35 | 3275904 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

I think it was coincidense also, otherwise they would have said $85 billion and one dollars - to fool em.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 22:58 | 3276367 WmMcK
WmMcK's picture

"If I had zero morals, ethics, heart, or a soul I could be at the top of this game."

That's the price we can't pay.
This game will end, then we (and/or our heirs) rebuild
with our morals, etc.

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:40 | 3274972 Douglasnew
Douglasnew's picture

Sequestration? More like SE-CASTRATION

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:42 | 3274980 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Dow dump = sequester avoided.

No Dow dump = sequester happens.

(I'm almost always wrong about everything.)

Mon, 02/25/2013 - 16:42 | 3274981 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

someone on here bought the tvix today. I just noes it.

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