Caption Contest: Pieta

Tyler Durden's picture


When the soon to be ex-Pope carts in the U-Haul for the final trip out, in the off chance he decides to raid the Vatican of all Renaissance masterpieces, elsewhere known as IOR collateral, here is one possible New Normal replacement.

h/t @grandebluff

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Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:52 | 3279063 JeremyWS
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It'll all be over soon.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:55 | 3279081 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

hang them all!
erect the gallows at the hills of Tyburn!

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:07 | 3279156 Rubicon
Rubicon's picture

Cheer up, Brian. You know what they say:
Some things in life are bad.
They can really make you mad.
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle,
Don't grumble. Give a whistle.
And this'll help things turn out for the best. And...
Always look on the bright side of life.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:14 | 3279169 hedgeless_horseman
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here is one possible New Normal replacement

They will need to pay up; Kashya Hildebrand bought it already.

“My interest in the Lamentare de Merkel purchase was motivated by the fact that interest in New Normal Art was at a record low and almost ridiculously cheap when priced in CHF.”

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:14 | 3279191 Stackers
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Who's moving out ? The pope will remain housed in Vatican City indefinitely to provide "security, privacy and immunity"

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:43 | 3279332 ShankyS
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The ChairSatan has forsaken us.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 19:14 | 3279682 knukles
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Here he comes, Father Guido Sarduchi!  We are saved, Monti!  Saved!

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 20:24 | 3279897 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

"pssst Monti...incoming"

Thu, 02/28/2013 - 04:18 | 3280970 Lore
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Original post removed for bad taste.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 01:34 | 3280866 putaipan
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jimmy seville died for our sins

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 19:25 | 3279725 fxrxexexdxoxmx
fxrxexexdxoxmx's picture

Mother Church has lost her way. Only those who adhere to the basic requirements at the local level have the resources to save her. We need a Martin Luther.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 20:15 | 3279875 booboo
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well not really since the alter boys are at the local level, unless the Pope is sexting the little fellas.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 20:25 | 3279921 Bananamerican
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"We need a Martin Luther...."

well, how bout.......Martin Luther?

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 01:35 | 3280868 putaipan
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bring us another brother malcom ....

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:24 | 3279247 I am more equal...
I am more equal than others's picture

For those who were crucifed - we salute you!  vini vidi viti NOT

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:08 | 3279168 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

Throw them from the Tarpeian Rock!

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:09 | 3279170 sunaJ
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He died for your benjamins.

- Book of Goldman, Chapter 12 Verse 3

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:55 | 3279392 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Monti Cristo Superstar.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:57 | 3279101 redpill
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Don't drone me, bruder!

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:06 | 3279141 BLOTTO
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Merkel Maiden? Fuckin far from it...(lol)

(Reminds me of the Kosovo Maiden)



Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:50 | 3279366 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture


Tue, 02/26/2013 - 18:38 | 3279583 TheGardener
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Angela the death angel.

Protestants last stand I suppose.

American religious beliefs are mainly anthropocentric :
a belief in yourself , a hearsay by definition.

What is left since Luther made morals ambivalent ?

Hateful sects, and only
the catholic kept up to measure.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:53 | 3279067 Lost Wages
Lost Wages's picture

And then one more bomb fell on the unfuckable lardass as Western Civilization drew to a close.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:55 | 3279076 ParkAveFlasher
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"Mein gold, mein gold, why have you abandoned me?"

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:54 | 3279078 MisterA
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It's looking like rain.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:54 | 3279080 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

did everyone buy the dip (vomit burp).

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:54 | 3279082 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

"Third secret of Fatima" seriously look it up.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:18 | 3279221 ghengis86
ghengis86's picture

Alright, just learned something new. Thanks bro

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:35 | 3279292 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

Fatima was a legit apparation (unlike the medjugojre thing) where 3 secrets were given to children. 1 and 2 predicted the world wars, the 3rd has some ambiguity to it. Some applied it to JPI or JPII but it may apply to B16.

The line... "Bishop dressed in white 'we had the impression it was the holy Father' [B16?]... Going up a steep mountain.. [he explicitly said going up a mountain to retire and pray]"
The rest may give allusions to violence or some sort of altercation.

The major problems of the church are from within. They've really shook the faith of their people and clerics practicing heterodoxy or heresy.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 01:10 | 3280745 New World Chaos
New World Chaos's picture

Some conspiranoids believe the third secret of Fatima was about a widespread loss of faith due to pedophilia, satanic moles running the church, and "lesbian marxist pagan nuns" (as Saint Barnhardt would call them).  She's back on the net, BTW:  I anxiously await her epic rants.

There is also talk about the next pope supposedly being the Antichrist.  Anyway, the theory is that prophecy is so damning that the Church tried to bury it but the Mary cult (and conspiracies) kept growing so they released a fake 3rd prophecy which is ambiguous and non-apocalyptic.

Also check out the prophecy of St. Malachy (if you haven't heard this already).  The next and last pope will supposedly be:

Peter the Roman, who will pasture his sheep in many tribulations, and when these things are finished, the city of seven hills (Rome) will be destroyed, and the dreadful judge will judge his people. The End.

One of the main contenders for pope, with a lot of positive media coverage, has called for a world government, world tax, and world central bank:

In light of the prophecies (and the lightning strike on the Vatican following Benedict's announcement; see above link) I figured that Benedict's resignation was about the satanic cabal was setting up the next Pope to be the false prophet.  They will probably try this anyway, but now it seems that the timing is due to some obscure EU committee ( which has charged the Pope, the Queen, and Stephen Harper with genocide of Native American children:

The Church's complicity in assorted crimes against humanity has been an open secret for decades.  Same with pedophilia.  In fact, the pedophiles in Brussels are probably some of the Vatican pimps' best customers.  So why now?  The real reason is that "Vatican wealth and property is to be seized".  The Eurocrats require Vatican gold to keep their bureaucratic monstrosity lurching along for a few extra months while they cash out.  The real, real reason is that the whole global ponzi is imploding; the satanists who secretly rule the world can no longer increase their power and decadence at our expense, and therefore they see no choice but to turn on each other.  The real, real, real reason is that the Universe itself has decided that it's time for these fuckers to go, and divide and conquer will aid in their destruction.  "Who the gods would destroy, they first drive insane". 

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:55 | 3279083 Mi Naem
Mi Naem's picture

Not Funny.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 19:24 | 3279721 Big Corked Boots
Big Corked Boots's picture

Dude. Say 2 Our Fathers, 2 Hail Mary's and leave an ASE in the basket. Now go, and sin no more.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:56 | 3279086 akak
akak's picture

"Into your hands I commend him, Lloyd .... I mean 'Lord'."

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:10 | 3279180 dracos_ghost
dracos_ghost's picture

Godammit Bernanke, you're supposed drop money from the helicopter, not Monti.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:02 | 3279089 EclecticParrot
EclecticParrot's picture

“Hey – Dwyane Wade ! ?   They call me 'The Enforcer'.  This is what'll happen to you if you try driving to the basket again, you fucking punk!"

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:56 | 3279094 Random_Robert
Random_Robert's picture

I don't see Banzai's watermark on that image...

Is there a new contender rising through the ranks...?


Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:09 | 3279163 CaptainSpaulding
CaptainSpaulding's picture

Willy B?   I thought it was from Monty Python

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 11:20 | 3281692 monad
monad's picture

Could be. I don't see her fangs.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:03 | 3279095 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

If only he didn't upset the money changers.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:58 | 3279107 Joebloinvestor
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"Meteors now!, are you fucking kidding me?"

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:58 | 3279108 orangedrinkandchips
orangedrinkandchips's picture

'it's not going to suck itself Fraulein!"

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:00 | 3279118 Segestan
Segestan's picture

Bet ZH doesn't have the guts to put up one of these on the jews.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:02 | 3279127 Schmuck Raker
Schmuck Raker's picture

What, like Jesus?

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:44 | 3279323 magpie
magpie's picture

Monti was only Jesus-like in one thing...ridding the 'Temple'-Vatican from the (German) that other moneychangers might take their place.

Maybe also liked dining with criminal tax farmers too, but i doubt they were in the mood for contrition.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 20:20 | 3279896 booboo
booboo's picture

Well half Jew

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:14 | 3279194 JenkinsLane
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In the words of Joe Sobran, "There's no such thing as Jewish power and if you say there is they'll destroy you."

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 01:19 | 3280830 monad
monad's picture
Some power. What intelligence. Sure ain't no low brow fringe zeerohaj readers. Definitive proof Aaron Schwartz identified as American. Embarrassing.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:02 | 3279134 virgilcaine
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The Pope is going to run a hedge fund.. open his own shop.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 03:02 | 3280948 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

So, Corzine's hiding out in the Sistine Chapel then? :>D

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:03 | 3279136 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

It looks like he is doing the full Monti in the photo above.

Perhaps he should not be upset at his fellow Italians but the puppetmasters who thought the financial world was Monti Carlo.


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