Caption Contest: Pieta

Tyler Durden's picture

When the soon to be ex-Pope carts in the U-Haul for the final trip out, in the off chance he decides to raid the Vatican of all Renaissance masterpieces, elsewhere known as IOR collateral, here is one possible New Normal replacement.

h/t @grandebluff

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JeremyWS's picture

It'll all be over soon.

Ahmeexnal's picture

hang them all!
erect the gallows at the hills of Tyburn!

Rubicon's picture

Cheer up, Brian. You know what they say:
Some things in life are bad.
They can really make you mad.
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle,
Don't grumble. Give a whistle.
And this'll help things turn out for the best. And...
Always look on the bright side of life.

hedgeless_horseman's picture



here is one possible New Normal replacement

They will need to pay up; Kashya Hildebrand bought it already.

“My interest in the Lamentare de Merkel purchase was motivated by the fact that interest in New Normal Art was at a record low and almost ridiculously cheap when priced in CHF.”

Stackers's picture

Who's moving out ? The pope will remain housed in Vatican City indefinitely to provide "security, privacy and immunity"

ShankyS's picture

The ChairSatan has forsaken us.

knukles's picture

Here he comes, Father Guido Sarduchi!  We are saved, Monti!  Saved!

Lore's picture

Original post removed for bad taste.

putaipan's picture

jimmy seville died for our sins

fxrxexexdxoxmx's picture

Mother Church has lost her way. Only those who adhere to the basic requirements at the local level have the resources to save her. We need a Martin Luther.

booboo's picture

well not really since the alter boys are at the local level, unless the Pope is sexting the little fellas.

Bananamerican's picture

"We need a Martin Luther...."

well, how bout.......Martin Luther?

putaipan's picture

bring us another brother malcom ....

I am more equal than others's picture

For those who were crucifed - we salute you!  vini vidi viti NOT

Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

Throw them from the Tarpeian Rock!

sunaJ's picture

He died for your benjamins.

- Book of Goldman, Chapter 12 Verse 3

McMolotov's picture

Monti Cristo Superstar.

redpill's picture

Don't drone me, bruder!

BLOTTO's picture

Merkel Maiden? Fuckin far from it...(lol)

(Reminds me of the Kosovo Maiden)



TheGardener's picture

Angela the death angel.

Protestants last stand I suppose.

American religious beliefs are mainly anthropocentric :
a belief in yourself , a hearsay by definition.

What is left since Luther made morals ambivalent ?

Hateful sects, and only
the catholic kept up to measure.

Lost Wages's picture

And then one more bomb fell on the unfuckable lardass as Western Civilization drew to a close.

ParkAveFlasher's picture

"Mein gold, mein gold, why have you abandoned me?"

MisterA's picture

It's looking like rain.

fonzannoon's picture

did everyone buy the dip (vomit burp).

Id fight Gandhi's picture

"Third secret of Fatima" seriously look it up.

ghengis86's picture

Alright, just learned something new. Thanks bro

Id fight Gandhi's picture

Fatima was a legit apparation (unlike the medjugojre thing) where 3 secrets were given to children. 1 and 2 predicted the world wars, the 3rd has some ambiguity to it. Some applied it to JPI or JPII but it may apply to B16.

The line... "Bishop dressed in white 'we had the impression it was the holy Father' [B16?]... Going up a steep mountain.. [he explicitly said going up a mountain to retire and pray]"
The rest may give allusions to violence or some sort of altercation.

The major problems of the church are from within. They've really shook the faith of their people and clerics practicing heterodoxy or heresy.

New World Chaos's picture

Some conspiranoids believe the third secret of Fatima was about a widespread loss of faith due to pedophilia, satanic moles running the church, and "lesbian marxist pagan nuns" (as Saint Barnhardt would call them).  She's back on the net, BTW:  I anxiously await her epic rants.

There is also talk about the next pope supposedly being the Antichrist.  Anyway, the theory is that prophecy is so damning that the Church tried to bury it but the Mary cult (and conspiracies) kept growing so they released a fake 3rd prophecy which is ambiguous and non-apocalyptic.

Also check out the prophecy of St. Malachy (if you haven't heard this already).  The next and last pope will supposedly be:

Peter the Roman, who will pasture his sheep in many tribulations, and when these things are finished, the city of seven hills (Rome) will be destroyed, and the dreadful judge will judge his people. The End.

One of the main contenders for pope, with a lot of positive media coverage, has called for a world government, world tax, and world central bank:

In light of the prophecies (and the lightning strike on the Vatican following Benedict's announcement; see above link) I figured that Benedict's resignation was about the satanic cabal was setting up the next Pope to be the false prophet.  They will probably try this anyway, but now it seems that the timing is due to some obscure EU committee ( which has charged the Pope, the Queen, and Stephen Harper with genocide of Native American children:

The Church's complicity in assorted crimes against humanity has been an open secret for decades.  Same with pedophilia.  In fact, the pedophiles in Brussels are probably some of the Vatican pimps' best customers.  So why now?  The real reason is that "Vatican wealth and property is to be seized".  The Eurocrats require Vatican gold to keep their bureaucratic monstrosity lurching along for a few extra months while they cash out.  The real, real reason is that the whole global ponzi is imploding; the satanists who secretly rule the world can no longer increase their power and decadence at our expense, and therefore they see no choice but to turn on each other.  The real, real, real reason is that the Universe itself has decided that it's time for these fuckers to go, and divide and conquer will aid in their destruction.  "Who the gods would destroy, they first drive insane". 

Big Corked Boots's picture

Dude. Say 2 Our Fathers, 2 Hail Mary's and leave an ASE in the basket. Now go, and sin no more.

akak's picture

"Into your hands I commend him, Lloyd .... I mean 'Lord'."

dracos_ghost's picture

Godammit Bernanke, you're supposed drop money from the helicopter, not Monti.

EclecticParrot's picture

“Hey – Dwyane Wade ! ?   They call me 'The Enforcer'.  This is what'll happen to you if you try driving to the basket again, you fucking punk!"

Random_Robert's picture

I don't see Banzai's watermark on that image...

Is there a new contender rising through the ranks...?


Dr. Engali's picture

If only he didn't upset the money changers.

Joebloinvestor's picture

"Meteors now!, are you fucking kidding me?"

orangedrinkandchips's picture

'it's not going to suck itself Fraulein!"

Segestan's picture

Bet ZH doesn't have the guts to put up one of these on the jews.

magpie's picture

Monti was only Jesus-like in one thing...ridding the 'Temple'-Vatican from the (German) that other moneychangers might take their place.

Maybe also liked dining with criminal tax farmers too, but i doubt they were in the mood for contrition.

JenkinsLane's picture

In the words of Joe Sobran, "There's no such thing as Jewish power and if you say there is they'll destroy you."

monad's picture
Some power. What intelligence. Sure ain't no low brow fringe zeerohaj readers. Definitive proof Aaron Schwartz identified as American. Embarrassing.

virgilcaine's picture

The Pope is going to run a hedge fund.. open his own shop.

StychoKiller's picture

So, Corzine's hiding out in the Sistine Chapel then? :>D

Peter Pan's picture

It looks like he is doing the full Monti in the photo above.

Perhaps he should not be upset at his fellow Italians but the puppetmasters who thought the financial world was Monti Carlo.