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Caption Contest: Pieta

Tyler Durden's picture


When the soon to be ex-Pope carts in the U-Haul for the final trip out, in the off chance he decides to raid the Vatican of all Renaissance masterpieces, elsewhere known as IOR collateral, here is one possible New Normal replacement.

h/t @grandebluff


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Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:52 | 3279063 JeremyWS
JeremyWS's picture

It'll all be over soon.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:55 | 3279081 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

hang them all!
erect the gallows at the hills of Tyburn!

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:07 | 3279156 Rubicon
Rubicon's picture

Cheer up, Brian. You know what they say:
Some things in life are bad.
They can really make you mad.
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle,
Don't grumble. Give a whistle.
And this'll help things turn out for the best. And...
Always look on the bright side of life.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:14 | 3279169 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



here is one possible New Normal replacement

They will need to pay up; Kashya Hildebrand bought it already.

“My interest in the Lamentare de Merkel purchase was motivated by the fact that interest in New Normal Art was at a record low and almost ridiculously cheap when priced in CHF.”

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:14 | 3279191 Stackers
Stackers's picture

Who's moving out ? The pope will remain housed in Vatican City indefinitely to provide "security, privacy and immunity"

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:43 | 3279332 ShankyS
ShankyS's picture

The ChairSatan has forsaken us.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 19:14 | 3279682 knukles
knukles's picture

Here he comes, Father Guido Sarduchi!  We are saved, Monti!  Saved!

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 20:24 | 3279897 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

"pssst Monti...incoming"

Thu, 02/28/2013 - 04:18 | 3280970 Lore
Lore's picture

Original post removed for bad taste.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 01:34 | 3280866 putaipan
putaipan's picture

jimmy seville died for our sins

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 19:25 | 3279725 fxrxexexdxoxmx
fxrxexexdxoxmx's picture

Mother Church has lost her way. Only those who adhere to the basic requirements at the local level have the resources to save her. We need a Martin Luther.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 20:15 | 3279875 booboo
booboo's picture

well not really since the alter boys are at the local level, unless the Pope is sexting the little fellas.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 20:25 | 3279921 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

"We need a Martin Luther...."

well, how bout.......Martin Luther?

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 01:35 | 3280868 putaipan
putaipan's picture

bring us another brother malcom ....

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:24 | 3279247 I am more equal...
I am more equal than others's picture

For those who were crucifed - we salute you!  vini vidi viti NOT

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:08 | 3279168 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

Throw them from the Tarpeian Rock!

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:09 | 3279170 sunaJ
sunaJ's picture

He died for your benjamins.

- Book of Goldman, Chapter 12 Verse 3

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:55 | 3279392 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Monti Cristo Superstar.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:57 | 3279101 redpill
redpill's picture

Don't drone me, bruder!

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:06 | 3279141 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

Merkel Maiden? Fuckin far from it...(lol)

(Reminds me of the Kosovo Maiden)



Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:50 | 3279366 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture


Tue, 02/26/2013 - 18:38 | 3279583 TheGardener
TheGardener's picture

Angela the death angel.

Protestants last stand I suppose.

American religious beliefs are mainly anthropocentric :
a belief in yourself , a hearsay by definition.

What is left since Luther made morals ambivalent ?

Hateful sects, and only
the catholic kept up to measure.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:53 | 3279067 Lost Wages
Lost Wages's picture

And then one more bomb fell on the unfuckable lardass as Western Civilization drew to a close.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:55 | 3279076 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

"Mein gold, mein gold, why have you abandoned me?"

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:54 | 3279078 MisterA
MisterA's picture

It's looking like rain.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:54 | 3279080 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

did everyone buy the dip (vomit burp).

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:54 | 3279082 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

"Third secret of Fatima" seriously look it up.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:18 | 3279221 ghengis86
ghengis86's picture

Alright, just learned something new. Thanks bro

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:35 | 3279292 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

Fatima was a legit apparation (unlike the medjugojre thing) where 3 secrets were given to children. 1 and 2 predicted the world wars, the 3rd has some ambiguity to it. Some applied it to JPI or JPII but it may apply to B16.

The line... "Bishop dressed in white 'we had the impression it was the holy Father' [B16?]... Going up a steep mountain.. [he explicitly said going up a mountain to retire and pray]"
The rest may give allusions to violence or some sort of altercation.

The major problems of the church are from within. They've really shook the faith of their people and clerics practicing heterodoxy or heresy.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 01:10 | 3280745 New World Chaos
New World Chaos's picture

Some conspiranoids believe the third secret of Fatima was about a widespread loss of faith due to pedophilia, satanic moles running the church, and "lesbian marxist pagan nuns" (as Saint Barnhardt would call them).  She's back on the net, BTW:  I anxiously await her epic rants.

There is also talk about the next pope supposedly being the Antichrist.  Anyway, the theory is that prophecy is so damning that the Church tried to bury it but the Mary cult (and conspiracies) kept growing so they released a fake 3rd prophecy which is ambiguous and non-apocalyptic.

Also check out the prophecy of St. Malachy (if you haven't heard this already).  The next and last pope will supposedly be:

Peter the Roman, who will pasture his sheep in many tribulations, and when these things are finished, the city of seven hills (Rome) will be destroyed, and the dreadful judge will judge his people. The End.

One of the main contenders for pope, with a lot of positive media coverage, has called for a world government, world tax, and world central bank:

In light of the prophecies (and the lightning strike on the Vatican following Benedict's announcement; see above link) I figured that Benedict's resignation was about the satanic cabal was setting up the next Pope to be the false prophet.  They will probably try this anyway, but now it seems that the timing is due to some obscure EU committee ( which has charged the Pope, the Queen, and Stephen Harper with genocide of Native American children:

The Church's complicity in assorted crimes against humanity has been an open secret for decades.  Same with pedophilia.  In fact, the pedophiles in Brussels are probably some of the Vatican pimps' best customers.  So why now?  The real reason is that "Vatican wealth and property is to be seized".  The Eurocrats require Vatican gold to keep their bureaucratic monstrosity lurching along for a few extra months while they cash out.  The real, real reason is that the whole global ponzi is imploding; the satanists who secretly rule the world can no longer increase their power and decadence at our expense, and therefore they see no choice but to turn on each other.  The real, real, real reason is that the Universe itself has decided that it's time for these fuckers to go, and divide and conquer will aid in their destruction.  "Who the gods would destroy, they first drive insane". 

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:55 | 3279083 Mi Naem
Mi Naem's picture

Not Funny.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 19:24 | 3279721 Big Corked Boots
Big Corked Boots's picture

Dude. Say 2 Our Fathers, 2 Hail Mary's and leave an ASE in the basket. Now go, and sin no more.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:56 | 3279086 akak
akak's picture

"Into your hands I commend him, Lloyd .... I mean 'Lord'."

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:10 | 3279180 dracos_ghost
dracos_ghost's picture

Godammit Bernanke, you're supposed drop money from the helicopter, not Monti.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:02 | 3279089 EclecticParrot
EclecticParrot's picture

“Hey – Dwyane Wade ! ?   They call me 'The Enforcer'.  This is what'll happen to you if you try driving to the basket again, you fucking punk!"

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:56 | 3279094 Random_Robert
Random_Robert's picture

I don't see Banzai's watermark on that image...

Is there a new contender rising through the ranks...?


Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:09 | 3279163 CaptainSpaulding
CaptainSpaulding's picture

Willy B?   I thought it was from Monty Python

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 11:20 | 3281692 monad
monad's picture

Could be. I don't see her fangs.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:03 | 3279095 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

If only he didn't upset the money changers.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:58 | 3279107 Joebloinvestor
Joebloinvestor's picture

"Meteors now!, are you fucking kidding me?"

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:58 | 3279108 orangedrinkandchips
orangedrinkandchips's picture

'it's not going to suck itself Fraulein!"

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:00 | 3279118 Segestan
Segestan's picture

Bet ZH doesn't have the guts to put up one of these on the jews.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:02 | 3279127 Schmuck Raker
Schmuck Raker's picture

What, like Jesus?

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:44 | 3279323 magpie
magpie's picture

Monti was only Jesus-like in one thing...ridding the 'Temple'-Vatican from the (German) that other moneychangers might take their place.

Maybe also liked dining with criminal tax farmers too, but i doubt they were in the mood for contrition.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 20:20 | 3279896 booboo
booboo's picture

Well half Jew

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:14 | 3279194 JenkinsLane
JenkinsLane's picture

In the words of Joe Sobran, "There's no such thing as Jewish power and if you say there is they'll destroy you."

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 01:19 | 3280830 monad
monad's picture
Some power. What intelligence. Sure ain't no low brow fringe zeerohaj readers. Definitive proof Aaron Schwartz identified as American. Embarrassing.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:02 | 3279134 virgilcaine
virgilcaine's picture

The Pope is going to run a hedge fund.. open his own shop.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 03:02 | 3280948 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

So, Corzine's hiding out in the Sistine Chapel then? :>D

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:03 | 3279136 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

It looks like he is doing the full Monti in the photo above.

Perhaps he should not be upset at his fellow Italians but the puppetmasters who thought the financial world was Monti Carlo.


Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:03 | 3279137 praps
praps's picture

He's not the messiah.  He's a very naughty boy.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:04 | 3279138 WoodMizer
WoodMizer's picture

In nomine Ponzi, et Euro, et spiritus Machina

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:05 | 3279146 ptoemmes
ptoemmes's picture

God, give me the strength to rip his heart out with my bare hands if he even so much as twitches.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:06 | 3279149 virgilcaine
virgilcaine's picture

Now the selloff in ES post the 1600 ding ding.. sheeple close time.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:06 | 3279153 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



I wonder how much I can get for him at the horse meat factory...?

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 19:22 | 3279711 knukles
knukles's picture

Hes-a make-a lott-a monti-balls!

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:06 | 3279154 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

"So I guess the threesome with Sarko is off?"

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 20:31 | 3279944 monad
monad's picture

Not until the rigor mortis wears off. Andale! Arriba de larieta!

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:08 | 3279159 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

I'm sorry mommy; I thought they said Draghi, not 'drag me.'

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:07 | 3279162 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

No more Rice Krispies?  We've run out of Rice Krispies.

Oh, Woe is Meeeeee.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:12 | 3279186 Non Passaran
Non Passaran's picture

Don't drone me, bro!

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:14 | 3279197 Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

as the Angel of Death departs skyward, the Angel of Merkel pouts that, lo, she cannot fly.


Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:14 | 3279198 JenkinsLane
JenkinsLane's picture

Merkel - "Forgive them Lord, for they know not what they have done."

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:52 | 3279376 Canucklehead
Canucklehead's picture

Let me paraphrase that slightly...

Forgive them Lloyd, for they know not what they have done.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:15 | 3279202 slackrabbit
slackrabbit's picture

'Why did he have to talk about Fight Club?'

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:16 | 3279203 AldoHux_IV
AldoHux_IV's picture

"Look at what they did to my boy! Santino..."

-Angela Merkeleone

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:18 | 3279217 stant
stant's picture

"hes not the messiah hes a very naughty boy" From life of brian

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:21 | 3279237 magpie
magpie's picture

Monti was really Pontius.

Pic describes the Eurocrats cogdis nicely , 89 % voted against their governor-general/procurator in the end.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 19:24 | 3279718 knukles
knukles's picture

Who the press hails as a miracle of Italian recovery.
(whimpering sounds)

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:24 | 3279249 fuu
fuu's picture

"I don't know how to take this, I don't see why he moves me.
He's a man. He's just a man, and I've had so many men before,
In very many ways, he's just one more."

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 19:34 | 3279743 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Ponzi Christ, Stupor Star, who in the hell do you think you are!

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 21:14 | 3280084 fuu
fuu's picture


Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:30 | 3279272 Liquid Courage
Liquid Courage's picture

If you vant me to bare mein titten und vave der flag like that slut Sainte Joan der antwort ist NEIN!

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 19:36 | 3279746 MsCreant
Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:31 | 3279278 sockratte
sockratte's picture

I've been a bad boy, father.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:31 | 3279279 jubber
jubber's picture

Silvio was right, you really are an unfuckable lardarse

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:49 | 3279298 trichotil
trichotil's picture

oy vey another one overdosed on goy blood, bring in the stomach pump.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:39 | 3279301 Joe A
Joe A's picture

"Future generations forgive us for we have no idea what we are doing except that we are screwing you badly"

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:37 | 3279303 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

I thought you were still on Goldman's healthcare benefits plan.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:42 | 3279326 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

By Grabthar's hammer, by the suns of Warvan, you shall be avenged!

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:59 | 3279416 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

"One last wish Angie, would you squeeze my other nipple?"

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 18:24 | 3279528 rosiescenario
rosiescenario's picture

....when a drone goes rogue...

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 19:37 | 3279751 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

...when a drone becomes sentient...

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 18:44 | 3279608 akarc
akarc's picture

I don't understand it God. How did you know?


Tue, 02/26/2013 - 19:17 | 3279687 They Tried to S...
They Tried to Steal My Gold's picture

Mother Merkel:

"We always take care of our own. Dont' worry we will protect those Swiss bank accounts. Even the American Ben Bernanke, our counterfeiting leader, increased bond purchases today in your honour....."



Tue, 02/26/2013 - 19:16 | 3279691 Iam Yue2
Iam Yue2's picture

My God, My God, why have you forsaken me.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 19:17 | 3279696 markovchainey
markovchainey's picture

Thanks God, but this is NOT what I asked for.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 19:45 | 3279782 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Don't fuck with the monster!

Looks like we're having Meatloaf tonight.

When little Eddie said he didn't like his teddy you knew he was a no good kid.

[clap, clap]

When he threatend your life with a switch blade knife...

What a guy...

Makes you cry...

Und I did.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 20:48 | 3280007 are we there yet
are we there yet's picture

Numulariis resurect mortuus Europa. Not

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 22:22 | 3280330 americanspirit
americanspirit's picture

"I love man tits - they give me faith"

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 23:29 | 3280589 Croesus
Croesus's picture

"You should have run faster, the minute you saw Bernanke in his helicopter"...

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 01:43 | 3280885 putaipan
putaipan's picture

it's sad. very sad. no bunga-bunga tonight.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 03:23 | 3280964 Manic by Proxy
Manic by Proxy's picture

And raising her eyes to heaven, Madonna Merkel beseeched the lawyers with prayer and the usual 20% retainer. She rent her garments in anguish, beating her breasts until nipples, taut and diamond-hard demanded extensive exploration. Cradling the stiff and lifeless form of clueless, socialist-leaning microcephallic politician, she wept glycerine tears and then ordered bratwurst and sauerkraut.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 06:43 | 3281103 Shylockracy
Shylockracy's picture

Dies silla, finis Europae.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 06:57 | 3281110 marco1324
marco1324's picture

Is this a Pie-eater I see before me.

Thu, 02/28/2013 - 06:26 | 3285010 monad
monad's picture

Conan! What is best in life?
Conan: To crush your enemies,see them driven before you,and to hear the lamentation of their women.

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