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InBev Sued For Overstating Budweiser Alcohol Content

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Maker's Mark recent foray into "diluting" reality by keeping prices flat while reducing the alcohol content - a painful reminder that stealth inflation comes in the most unexpected of shapes - came and went, with the outcry limited to a select group of Bourbon lovers. However, when the realization hits that every other alcohol producer may have been engaging in the same less than ethical behavior, including America's precious Budweiser, we expect the response to be faster and furiouser. We also expect the answer to the question of how it is that food inflation is not far greater, will be made even clearer. It will, however, certainly bring new meaning to the phrase the beer glass is half full. Of course, since the lawsuit was filed by two men who "routinely purchased as many as four cases of Bud per month for the past four years" one can see why it may not be taken very seriously.

From Bloomberg:

Anheuser-Busch InBev NV, the world’s biggest brewer, was sued over claims it overstated the alcohol content in Budweiser beer.

 

AB InBev routinely adds extra water to its finished products to produce malt beverages with significantly less alcohol content than displayed on its labels, consumers Thomas and Gerald Greenberg said in a complaint filed yesterday in federal court in Philadelphia. The company’s overstatement of the alcohol content violates Pennsylvania’s consumer protection statutes, according to the complaint.

 

“Consumers receive watered down beer containing less alcohol than is stated,” the Greenbergs said in the filing.

 

The complaint accuses Leuven, Belgium-based AB InBev of mislabeling the alcohol content in Budweiser, Bud Ice, Bud Light Platinum, Michelob, King Cobra, Busch Ice, Black Crown, Bud Light Lime, Hurricane High Gravity Lager and Michelob Ultra.

 

No one was immediately available to comment on the lawsuit, according to someone who answered the company’s media relations line.

 

The Greenbergs are seeking to represent all consumers in the state of Pennsylvania in their bid for damages exceeding $5 million and a court order requiring the company to alter its advertising campaign.

 

The men said they routinely purchased as many as four cases of Budweiser per month during the past four years. The labels on the beer claim the alcohol content was 5 percent by volume, according to the lawsuit.

The full lawsuit:

 

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Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:32 | 3278652 tmosley
tmosley's picture

Look like Joe Sixpack has become Joe Fivepack.  This won't end well.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:36 | 3278670 redpill
redpill's picture

There are certain lines you simply don't cross.  And one of them sure as fuck is beer.  

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:38 | 3278676 Almost Solvent
Almost Solvent's picture

The brands listed are crap beer anyway.

But it is nice to see Natty Ice Light is for real.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:40 | 3278694 redpill
redpill's picture

I guess it's time for a little PBR&R

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:42 | 3278705 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Oh heavens ~ Next thing u know they'll tell us that some of the Clydesdales ended up in the beer...

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:46 | 3278725 Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris's picture

I don't always drink beer.  But when I do, it's a Steel Reserve.  So do millions of other homeless bums.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:52 | 3278759 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

Budweiser. The Viscount of Beers!

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:28 | 3278891 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

Steel Reserve? I fucked a Mexican without a condom after four 22's of that shit. I also publicly masturbated on a golf course and then blew my load on a maple tree....treesteelality! That shit has ALL alcohol, as advertised.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:30 | 3278942 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

Dick, you are a madman. When you stole that cow, and your friend tried to make it with the cow. I want to party with you, cowboy. If the two of us together, forget it.
Bill Murray - Stripes

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:43 | 3279021 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

Anyone know the current price of a pre-diluted bottle of Maker's Mark?
I'm pretty sure those will become highly sought after items.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 18:06 | 3279441 Fedaykinx
Fedaykinx's picture

they have since recanted their heresy and come back to the fold.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:21 | 3279231 Boozer
Boozer's picture

Mexican female I hope doc.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 18:15 | 3279495 Blano
Blano's picture

I was afraid to ask.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:46 | 3278727 dwdollar
dwdollar's picture

It's funny that people still drink Budweiser.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:57 | 3278794 css1971
css1971's picture

If you import Budvar from Czech, you can drink Budweiser and drink a reasonable beer at the same time.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 20:04 | 3279838 thisandthat
thisandthat's picture

Actually, you can safely buy Budweiser and still get that same reasonable beer - at least if you're in Portugal: https://wcd.coe.int/ViewDoc.jsp?id=925867&Site=COE ...or elsewhere in Europe, for that matter: http://articles.marketwatch.com/2010-07-29/industries/30811010_1_budweis...

Just make sure you get the right one: in some countries they both share the same name...

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:47 | 3278729 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

+50

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:47 | 3278731 CPL
CPL's picture

Well considering Budwiser and all of it's products taste like horses ass...

 

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:21 | 3279233 Zeroexperience2010
Zeroexperience2010's picture

What's the difference between American beer and making love in a boat?

 

 

None, it's both fucking close to water...

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:48 | 3278739 john39
john39's picture

basic consumer fraud. class action lawyers will have a field day.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:06 | 3278842 CPL
CPL's picture

No they won't.  InBev will be congratulated on holding a known commodity like alcoholic dish water (bud and it's variations) in check by lowering the their costs.  I doubt consumer fraud extends to making someone less drunk by something that should be sold as near beer anyways...well, the term beer is also pretty stretched on Bud.  Alcool with beer flavor is a better term.

O'Dools would have been sent to the cleaners years ago otherwise.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:11 | 3278866 Bicycle Repairman
Bicycle Repairman's picture

So is this more sneaky inflation?

BTW I don't see anymore Budweiser = USA commericals anymore.  Wonder why?  Heh, heh.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 18:39 | 3279589 CPL
CPL's picture

No, this is the way politics works now.  

Budwiser will kick over a couple of bucks to their stooges in the house reps in the state the case was petitioned.  Some type of draft will be written and handed over to the presiding judge on the court circuit that states to drop the case.  

It'll be a short case.

If anyone has noticed Kangaroo courts rule the USA now.  Why would this be any different?  There's been another of tiny news is the arrival of Walmart selling pirated iPads.  Believe me, Ralph Nader in this environment doesn't exist anymore.  

Nothing is not allowed to be wrong, broken or or false.  That's the world now...maybe not Italy though, that will be a lot of fun to watch (can't wait for their first budget period.)

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:48 | 3278740 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Clyde's Ale?

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:56 | 3278789 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

+49. 

Let's remember that the horse DNA they trace does not necessarily have to be meat, ya know.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:14 | 3278883 Pseudo Anonym
Pseudo Anonym's picture

piss on you

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 20:00 | 3279825 mkhs
mkhs's picture

No, the beer.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:56 | 3278785 waterwitch
waterwitch's picture

Well, they have to do something with Clydesdale piss!

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:31 | 3278949 J in Vegas
J in Vegas's picture

Comment of the day!

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 18:10 | 3279467 barroter
barroter's picture

They figured out how to ferment horses!

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:48 | 3278721 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Take all the other scandals, crimes, massive theft of taxpayer dollars, the pillaging of the middle class, outright decimation of title laws relating to real estate- including one's home, decimation of basic constitutional RIGHTS, the emergence of a nepotistic KronyKomrade Oligarchy, etc. etc. etc., and forget about all of that...

...for the 2nd American Revolution will we lit by:

1)  Ever increasing costs to fill up the F250, Escalade or "Lordy leased me a Mercedeeeees Benz," and

2)  Dilution of alcohol content in ditch digger swill.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:52 | 3278765 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

3) ( really #1) the attempted confiscation of firearms.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:58 | 3278796 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

#4) Discovery of equinus dollar menuis in their McMrEd grilled onion cheddar burger.

(Naw, that won't matter since it will taste the same)

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:32 | 3278957 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

Only if soy costs more than horse.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 20:02 | 3279831 mkhs
mkhs's picture

But what of ass?

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:07 | 3279161 ncdirtdigger
ncdirtdigger's picture

I'm white trash, and I'm in trouble!

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:28 | 3278936 GOSPLAN HERO
GOSPLAN HERO's picture

Bud is a lousy beer.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:50 | 3278747 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

They are screwing with the God given right of all of us Americans to cry in our beer and pee on our shoes.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 22:41 | 3280411 Matt
Matt's picture

"Of course, since the lawsuit was filed by two men who "routinely purchased as many as four cases of Bud per month for the past four years" one can see why it may not be taken very seriously."

4 X 24 = 96 cans. Between two people plus occasional guests, that is about one beer per day, i.e. one serving, which is recognized as not only being safe, but also has health benefits. Why is Zerohedge disparaging people for having one serving of alcohol per day?

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 00:26 | 3280761 defender
defender's picture

Tyler is saying that the damages will be so small that the court will throw the case out.  Trust me, the Tylers have never had any problems with Joe making use of his six pack.

 

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 02:13 | 3280913 Matt
Matt's picture

It is a class action suit, started by these two plaintiffs, that anyone affected can try to join. It says right in the filing papers that it is for an amount over $5 million in damages.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:54 | 3278772 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

"They may take our lives, but they'll never take OUR BEER!!!"

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:55 | 3278779 unrulian
unrulian's picture

so...they try and take our pop, guns, internet, porn, beef, milk, gardens, homes, minds....by flying sweet fuck now they take alcohol out of our bottled carbonated syrup... you fascist bastards

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 18:07 | 3279454 Blano
Blano's picture

And hopefully the other one is guns.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 05:13 | 3281050 Redhotfill
Redhotfill's picture

Did I miss something  They claim its 5% but dont say what the actual percentage in the purchased beer was?  How much did they get jip'd out of?

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:50 | 3278734 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Waaazzuuuuuuup?

Stealth inflation.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:53 | 3278771 waterwitch
waterwitch's picture

If indeed the alcohol content is less as charged, it is amazing that InBev didn't put the correct percentage on their labeling.  They pay tax on the alcohol content. When you're producing 100 million barrels/year, small differences like this add up big in a hurry.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:41 | 3279325 Catch-22
Catch-22's picture

...as long as gain > cost (tax), they're skimming those hundred of millions of barrels...

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:56 | 3278783 Sophist Economicus
Sophist Economicus's picture

Thomas and Gerald Greenberg are 'Joe Sixpacks'?    And they drink 4 cases of Bud a month?

 

Sure they do....    They may buy 4 cases a month - but they ain't drinking it

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:05 | 3278839 The_Dude
The_Dude's picture

Couple of Greenbergs and their friendly lawyer,Senoff ...out there fighting for the the comon man...sure I buy it....and I am sure they are minding their drinking on the shabbat...

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:26 | 3278926 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

They don't roll on Shabbos!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPo9OBrIOi4

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:42 | 3279017 jmc8888
jmc8888's picture

96 beers a month is alot of beer to people who don't drink, but the average alcoholic can easily drink more than that.

All that would be is 8 beers on a friday, saturday, and sunday each weekend to consume that much.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 20:22 | 3279904 akak
akak's picture

 

All that would be is 8 beers on a friday, saturday, and sunday each weekend to consume that much.

I've never understood that kind of piggish gross indulgence, of ANYTHING, at all.

My God, if I drank 8 beers' worth of ANY liquid (which is most of a gallon) in an evening, or even in any normal day, I would be bloated and possibly comatose!  What compels anyone to choke down that much of anything, alcoholic or not?  It's utterly beyond my comprehension.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 01:14 | 3280832 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Overheard a news story about students at SDSU (South Dakota State Univ) posting pictures of their passed-out friendz on the internet.

Prohibiting a product or action just encourages some fools to "take a dare."

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:59 | 3278804 wee-weed up
wee-weed up's picture

How many beers in a case of Budweiser?

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:09 | 3278853 CPL
CPL's picture

Trick question.  There is no beer in a case of Budwiser.  It's an alcoholic by product of fermented rice.  Has been for three decades.

http://www.wheat-free.org/is-budweiser-beer-wheat-free.html

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 20:15 | 3279869 mkhs
mkhs's picture

Beer is usually made from barley.  Is bud barley free?

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 01:15 | 3280835 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Meh, brew your own.  I brew mead (honey wine), just not in the mood this year.

 

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:29 | 3278939 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

One for every hour of the day. Also called the workingman's suitcase. 

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:45 | 3279028 Ruffcut
Ruffcut's picture

They had to make room for the horse meat.

Next, they will say that taco bell is not real beef?

Bernanke's next job will be head of Bud's marketing department. That's where the bullshitters hang out.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 18:18 | 3279506 barroter
barroter's picture

I tried Taco Bell once...their "meat sauce" struck me as odd.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:54 | 3279384 GOSPLAN HERO
GOSPLAN HERO's picture

Budslimer sucks!

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:35 | 3278657 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

You can mess with a lot in this country...vaporize brokerage accounts..print money to infinity...give trillions to the banks...but don't mess with the alcohol bitchez! Not that Budweiser is real alcohol to begin with.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:37 | 3278675 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

Just wait til they find out that there's less beef in that 'beef'

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:11 | 3278871 wee-weed up
wee-weed up's picture

Or worse... that it's horsemeat!

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:38 | 3278680 knukles
knukles's picture

Even worse at the Big Super Mercado a few days before the Super Bowl, there was a Budweiser display selling big ass cans of a Budweiser Clamato Juice combo.
Now, I understand drinking, and that's just a plain waste of good alcohol.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:43 | 3278704 Orly
Orly's picture

I saw that, too.  It was gross.

But it is not "good" alcohol, as it is made with rice; not one of the ingredients in the Reinheitsgebot.

Read the label.

:/

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:55 | 3278776 css1971
css1971's picture

German beer is boring. Believe me, I live there.

British beer is far superior, far more innovative, more flavour and far more diverse.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:58 | 3278797 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

I have to say that I do like me some Tadcaster.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:15 | 3279200 css1971
css1971's picture

Can't get the stuff. I'd have to import it... Have you ever heard the saying "taking coal to Newcastle"?

The local market is swamped by local German beer (obviously), with a little Belgian and some Czech beer simply because they're close. You basically get 3 types of beer here. Pilsner, Dunkel (dark) and Hefe-Weisse (wheat), and they as far as I can tell within each category are all trying to taste exactly the same.

Obviously there's the occasional microbewery and the occasional brewery that does something different but boy they are hard to find. Presumably they have to hide from the ministry of brewmasters for not conforming to the letter of the Reinheitsgebot. The result being it's boring; German beer is "langweilig".

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:20 | 3278904 wee-weed up
wee-weed up's picture

German beer is great if you like lagers. I lived there for 5 years and was in heaven. But, now I'm into pale ales and IPAs. I don't think I'd be so happy there now... beer wise.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:31 | 3278951 Orly
Orly's picture

Sam Adams Boston Ale may be the best beer in the world.

No joke.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:42 | 3279020 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

I shouldn't have down arrowed you, I apologize.

But you should try Ommegang.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:49 | 3279044 Ruffcut
Ruffcut's picture

Fuck it, quantity rules over quality. Spend less, drink more and piss your pants.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:52 | 3279064 Orly
Orly's picture

You can just click up if you want to change it, but I'm not bothered.  believe, I get junked all the time.  No worries.

Sam Adams Boston Ale (not to be confused with Boston Lager...) is light, refreshing, nutty, clean and really an outstanding product.  Now, I am talking about your "every day" beer here, not as a competition between brews but what one can reasonably find and afford to drink on an every day basis.  When you come home from the cubicle, you're happy to see that cold one sitting in the fridge.

It is really good.  I urge everyone to try it.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 01:18 | 3280840 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Get thee to Old Chicago and have a Tooth Sheaf Stout (dark Australian Ale)

 

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:47 | 3279038 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Sam Adams is glorified piss water (it's better than other megabrewery beer, but that's not saying much).

Germany's best brew is Weissbier(aka Weizenbier).

The best brew in all the world comes from the Trappist monks (in Belgium, Netherlands, Austria, France[Flanders]) that still use 15th century recipes to brew batches of liquid gold that is so cloudy it's opaque, and is feremented twice, once in the cask and once after being bottled.

It was intended as a liquid bread during "the dark ages" but you should be so lucky to find yourself stuck with such a antiquated ale.

(Pilsner drinkers move on to Bohemia/Czech Republic; others may find quite decent ales in little known places in Britannia).

Don't question these facts. Just have faith.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:52 | 3279062 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Chimay is some serious shit.  If I wasn't all "buy local" on my Ommegang (Cooperstown, NY) I would be wearing a Chimay jersey.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:42 | 3279319 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

As I told Akak last month, this (Chimay) is probably the best I've ever had (but it was on tap, like in the glorious picture you're about to see):

chimay-triple-on-tap

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:57 | 3279093 Orly
Orly's picture

Oh, yeah, I can buy local, too.  There happens to be a Trappist monastery on the third floor of my building!

:/

Get a grip, man.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:07 | 3279125 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

I think he was just stating he supports his local economy (but just a guess).

The good shit from all the finest monasteries is available at more "boutique" style liquor stores in just about every major city, although the very best of these are rarely available in the U.S. since they tend to be sold out of dark nooks and in very limited batches. Remember, this is genuinely hand crafted, slow brew, made in accordance with actual centuries-old methods and consistent ingredients, and not some bullshit advertised/marketed as such.

When the really good stuff does occassionally make its way stateside, it tends to sell out quickly and at extreme prices.

US Westvleteren Trappist Ale Release | 12.12.12
Tue, 02/26/2013 - 18:20 | 3279518 barroter
barroter's picture

I had that, Trappist Ale. Too bad it cost so damned much.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:36 | 3279300 Jugdish
Jugdish's picture

Terrible Yankee piss beer. Hangover is ruthless. That's how alcoholic drink quality is truly measured. 10 Boston Lagers and the excruciating, unrelenting migrane kicks in.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:54 | 3279339 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

A mere 2 or 3  Budweisers can give me a hangover, yet I can drink copious amounts of high quality beer and rarely suffer anything so unpleasant.

The only thing that gives me worse headaches than Budweiser is the few malt liquors I've ever been unfortunate enough to drink, or red wine (which I hate).

I think Budweiser is made with untreated sewage water from the Hudson River.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:28 | 3278938 DutchR
DutchR's picture

Go to Belgium and you can drink a different beer everyday for 2 years, probably more.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:02 | 3278813 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

I'm not a big fan of rice beer either.  More of a wino-American.

I think the term of art Knuks was looking for is "innocent alcohol". ;)

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:55 | 3279071 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Rice beer is piss swill. If it tastes like nothing and underwhelms, you're just drinking Japan's version of Mexico's Corona (which American Yuppies think is exotic).

Weihenstephaner Hefeweissbier is probably the best German wheat beer, IMO, which I forgot to mention.

 

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:59 | 3279113 Orly
Orly's picture

When are you going to whip out the Hacker-Pschorr Oktoberfest?

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:14 | 3279176 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

I like to think of myself as a nice person, and have no problem sharing the best of my stash with just about anyone (and I've found many people who are like-minded, whether beer or whatever).

If I could, I'd give you baptism by fire with some Westvleteren XII that I was able to recently snag. Talk about skipping to the top rungs.

To be perfectly honest, I have ales that cost 1/4 as much and are usually available that are just as good if not better, IMO (they're also Alsace-Flanders or Belgian ales).

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:16 | 3279206 Orly
Orly's picture

I know and I do appreciate that but what I am talking about is something you can go down to the Fiesta and pick up for $7.99/six on sale.

My idea is to turn people on to a nice beer they can drink whenever they like, without having to know the secret code or paying through the nose.

:D

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:45 | 3279268 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

I see the point you're making and agree.

The last thing I'd want to do on the beach in the middle of summer is be stuck with heavy brew. India pale ales or even American beers like Anchor Steam (very cold) fit the bill at those times.

The best, all-around, drinkable and affordable beers for such times, in no particular order are:

Sierra Nevada, anything Bell's, Victory, Stone IPA, Lagunitas, New Belgium, anything Goose Island, Troegs, Heavy Seas, Yards, Smuttynose, New Glarus, Central Waters, Summit...

Almost all of these are only 20% to 30% more expensive than true shit beer like Budweiser, yet most have 30%+ more alcohol by volume, but more importantly, taste 3000% better.

Costco has some cases of some very good beers and ales that go on sale from time to time at about $1 per beer (stuff that'd run $10.99 and up for a 6 pack in a good liquor store).

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:49 | 3278719 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Agreed.  It's the last straw when you've already got less money, more problems and can't even catch a good buzz.  Add in "now I'm pissed off" and you have the makings of Civil War mark II.

And speak for yourself about it not being real alcohol.  I used to drink that pisswater until I was half blind plenty of times.  I don't any more, of course.  Too filling, makes me fat(er).  I just drink the hard stuff over rocks now.  Shortest path to victory.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 01:23 | 3280848 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Victory Gin comes highly recommended by Winston Smith!

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:34 | 3278658 koaj
koaj's picture

FU Bernanke!!!

Can i blame this on him too?

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:35 | 3278665 CPL
CPL's picture

Here, have a horse meatball, they're swedish.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:40 | 3278689 knukles
knukles's picture

a) it Bush's fault
b) theres and app for that
c) new meaning for Open Market Operation "Liquidity Injection"

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:42 | 3278707 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Here's a Svidish meatball for you:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sY_Yf4zz-yo

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:06 | 3278841 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Wassup?  Ya'll gone apey, or am I just two drinks behind?

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:55 | 3279084 Shigure
Shigure's picture

I prefer this one:

Meatball Massacre - Regular Ordinary Swedish Meal Time

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8Wu3Bps9ic   (3.19)

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:34 | 3278663 Kilgore Trout
Kilgore Trout's picture

Had a neighbor years ago. A postal worker by the name of "Dutch". Told me he drank a case of beer a day. I had no reason to doubt him.

 

"I drink a case of beer a day", he said, "but I never *touch* alcohol!"

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 18:44 | 3279607 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

Great handle!

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 01:25 | 3280850 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Still gettin' yer writin's published in pr0n mags?

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:35 | 3278664 chunga
chunga's picture

I've had enough.

This is the final fucking straw for me.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:36 | 3278673 Mr. Bingley
Mr. Bingley's picture

Adding water can only improve the flavor; they should be thanked.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:44 | 3278714 Kayman
Kayman's picture

What's the big deal ? With Bud you're just adding water to water anyway...

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:10 | 3278859 waterwitch
waterwitch's picture

Trade secret: most major breweries in the U.S. take one high-gravity brew and cut it into various other products with water to make the various types of beer they market. That technique greatly speeds up the brewing process and need for more equipment.  They also use the cheepest form of grain they can (mostly rice) which adds no flavor to beer.  Use of these adjuncts prevent these products from being sold as 'beer' in Germany, which adheres to the German purity law.  Thankfully, most microbreweries in the U.S. adhere to this law also, and give the American public something worth drinking.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:38 | 3278683 mjorden
mjorden's picture

WAR ON THE MOONSHINERS! RAW MILK SELLERS! HOME VEGGIE GARDENERS! AND COLLECTORS OF RAIN WATER ... starts in 3,2, ... oh wait, it already has started .... 

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:39 | 3278685 Cursive
Cursive's picture

It's fucking Budweiser a/k/a crudweiser.  Buy some real beer.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:45 | 3278720 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

High Gravity is still cheap...

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:02 | 3278814 Cursive
Cursive's picture

@francis_sawyer

Well, I didn't mean to sound like a snob.  I'm not a man of unlimited means.  There is a place for cheap beer, but (as the most interesting man in the world) when I do drink cheap beer, I drink Miller High Life.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:13 | 3278880 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

High Gravity is the strongest buzz for the cheapest price at the moment...

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:19 | 3278900 Cursive
Cursive's picture

Something for the FourLoko crowd?  I'll read up and may give it a try.  For a reasonably-priced buzz, one could try Sierra Nevada's Torpedo IPA, but you have to like the pine-resin flavor of the Cascade hops.  I prefer dark ales, but it's not bad in the late-Spring to early-Fall window.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:47 | 3279355 Boozer
Boozer's picture

When your thirst arrives but your paycheck doesn't.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:39 | 3278688 riphowardkatz
riphowardkatz's picture

scum,a disgusting company. three tier distribution system is wrong. 

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:40 | 3278693 onearmedlove
onearmedlove's picture

Horse piss!!

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:43 | 3278710 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Horse [piss & all included]

~~~

There ~ fixed it...

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:44 | 3278713 Tsar Pointless
Tsar Pointless's picture

Goes nicely with some horse meat, I hear.

I'll take Guinness and Samuel Adams, thank you.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:46 | 3278726 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

I'll take a pint of 'Paul Revere's RIDE' please...

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:52 | 3278762 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

This weekend I drank:

Saranac - from NY State

Harpoon - from Mass.

Fuck InBev and their patented queer lime flavorings and slap-happy destruction of what they think is American iconography.  Fuck em in their waffley Belgian brownholes.  America makes good beer, makes it well.  It's when the multinationals swoop in with BennyBux that this kind of stuff starts to happen.

 

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:39 | 3279001 Orly
Orly's picture

Happened to Lowenbrau when Miller bought them. 

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 22:19 | 3280316 Katrillion
Katrillion's picture

And Becks now too

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 23:22 | 3280568 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

who's killing the great beers of Europe?

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:41 | 3278700 LeisureSmith
LeisureSmith's picture

The "watered down" state of Budweiser should be evident to even the most mangled taste buds. Go for Budweiser Budvar instead. The real Budweiser.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:50 | 3278752 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

 

 

Budweiser is so bad it doesn't deserve to be called a "beverage", never mind "beer."  I'll take a single bottle of any of twenty microbrews - or a Molson Export (in Canada, not the crap that gets into the U.S. stores) - over a truckload of the "king of beers."  Stuff should be banned.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:42 | 3278708 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

Your liquor and beer is watered down; most if not all of it. Know this.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:55 | 3278782 Mark Carney
Mark Carney's picture

that would explain why now need an 8 pack instead of a 6 pack for the same buzzzzzz

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 01:32 | 3280863 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Time to broaden yer horizons:

http://www.absinthebuyersguide.com/absinthe.html

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:43 | 3278709 Frozen IcQb
Frozen IcQb's picture

As if one can call Bud as beer.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:47 | 3278733 css1971
css1971's picture

It's Budweiser...

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:47 | 3278736 MisterA
MisterA's picture

The plaintiffs are Tom and Jerry!

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:01 | 3278809 CaptainObvious
CaptainObvious's picture

So when they're done drinking their longnecks, they chase each other around the piano and break the bottles over each other's heads, yes?

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:48 | 3278738 Sach Mahoney
Sach Mahoney's picture

New 10 oz bottles priced the same as 12ozs .... happening all over in so many products.  

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:48 | 3278741 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Think globally, drink locally.

Actually, think locally, too.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:48 | 3278743 urbanelf
urbanelf's picture

Ethonol ethics.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:50 | 3278751 Sach Mahoney
Sach Mahoney's picture

This news does make us all sadder, bud weiser 

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 17:12 | 3279184 akak
akak's picture

This news makes me feel like I've been malt by a beer.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:50 | 3278754 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

If I understood the article from earlier correctly, this has to be considered dropping the big one in The Coming Water Wars.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:50 | 3278756 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

We eat shit.
We drink shit.

Your beef is horse.
Your sushi is tilapia and mercury filled.
Your beer is rice water.
Your bread is sawdust with crushed cockroaches.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:52 | 3278763 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Ersatzbrot, it's what's for dinner. If you've been good.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:52 | 3278764 Sach Mahoney
Sach Mahoney's picture

Some come here to sit and think

Some come here to shit and stink

I come here to scratch my balls and read the bullshit on the walls

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:50 | 3279050 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

For a good time (in de-basement) call Ben Shalom at XXX-XXX-XXXX

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 23:20 | 3280559 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

or

what are you looking up here for, the joke is in your hand..

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 16:23 | 3278913 Umh
Umh's picture

Why would anyone put mercury in the mud holes they raise tilapia in?

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:51 | 3278758 Sandmann
Sandmann's picture

Does the US tax on alcohol content as in the UK ?

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 20:46 | 3280001 mkhs
mkhs's picture

No, the US taxes on wealth, unless you have some, then it doesn't.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:52 | 3278767 helping_friendl...
helping_friendly_book's picture

I drink the BUD 55 myself.

It is like drinking spring water and I can drink 'em all day without puking.

Weekends it's Grey Goose, very dry, martini, shaken with a twist.

3 of those and my world is rocked.

 

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:54 | 3278777 Sach Mahoney
Sach Mahoney's picture

Which one do you have in the morning?

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 01:35 | 3280870 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

"I woke up this morning and I got myself a beer,

The future's uncertain and the end is always near..." "Roadhouse blues", The Doors

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:53 | 3278768 sitenine
sitenine's picture

Budweiser is shit to begin with. Germans say it is like making love in a canoe because it is close to the water - apparently now it is just water, only cheaper.

Tue, 02/26/2013 - 15:59 | 3278803 Winston of Oceania
Winston of Oceania's picture

It's those pigs at Inbev, the shit they sell here and call Beck's is lighter and tastes like Budweiser. I've resorted to making my own since I can't get the import any longer. BTW Bud likes to tout "beechwood aging", which I heard is nothing more than adding beechwood planks to the brew to increase the rate of fermentation so it only takes a week or two at the most. Swill sold by pigs...

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