On The Joke That Is The "Efficient" Italian Market

Tyler Durden's picture

Yesterday we joked that we:

Today, we were reminded, that in a socio-fascist, insolvent world, the thin line between the Onion and reality no longer exists:




Next, as always happens, will be a ban on selling, then finally, a confiscation of all discretionary accounts by the government. Because the government knows what's best for you, and are here to help you with your "sell" execution.

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GetZeeGold's picture



Couldn't hurt.......when you realize you're screwed.....might as well get stoned.

Lost Wages's picture

Funny thing is I was gonna dump my stocks yesterday anyway, then this happened, and it wiped out most of my gains from the last month by the time my trade went through at 4PM. Being a retail investor sux.

Harlequin001's picture

You should have sold at 3:59:59, only 400 million, billion trades ahead of you it can take some time to close, often as much as a million, billion trillionth of a second in  todays market.

And that can cost you a small fuckin fortune I can tell you, take my word for it...

Buy gold.

Lost Wages's picture

I already own gold. Can you not wrap your head around the fact that someone might have gold, silver AND a 401K? Fuck, man.

LongSoupLine's picture

Holy fuck...

You mean to fucking tell me, the last fucking retail investor on the fucking planet is here on ZH.

The fucking irony....

eclectic syncretist's picture

When they ban short selling you can be sure that the insiders have already sold out and then sold short, and you should too.

Josephine29's picture

True but remember in all the Euro spin this point below.

It is also clear that the guardians of the Euro which apparently includes the BBC the way it covered this on BBC Four News last night are alarmed by the consequences of Silvio Berlusconi’s surge. As we muse the prospect of Italy being asked to vote again until she gets the “correct” result perhaps we should recall that Belgium actually did extremely well when she did not have a government a fact which seems to have been forgotten in the melee. Although of course there was no Silvio factor at play there!


Belgium actually did better when it didnt have a govenrment to mess things up!

EscapeKey's picture

I guess it makes a welcome break from the BBC acting as Labour's press secretary...

That we're forced through law to pay for that left wing propaganda frankly infuriates me.

Sandmann's picture

You are forced by law to pay a TV Tax unless you stop watching LIVE Tv - then you don't pay it

EscapeKey's picture

not true.

it comes down to whether you have "equioment capable of receiving" installed.

it's got nothing to do with "live tv".

Harlequin001's picture

Er no, you still have to pay the fee even if you turn it off.

However I do draw the line at calling the BBC 'LIVE' Tv...

LongSoupLine's picture

Coming to a fucking bank run country near you...

By the way, with the fucking exception of Iceland, that's every fucking country in this corrupt fucking world.

Fuck you bank pricks.

eclectic syncretist's picture

Banks = socialist sociopaths out for power and willing to bring down the quality of life for all if they do not get ever increasing power. 

The time has come to quote Orwell.  Please insert "Bank" in place of "Party".

"The Party seeks power entirely for its own sake. We are not interested in the good of others; we are interested solely in power. Not wealth or luxury or long life or happiness: only power, pure power. What pure power means you will understand presently. We are different from all the oligarchies of the past, in that we know what we are doing. All the others, even those who resembled ourselves, were cowards and hypocrites. The German Nazis and the Russian Communists came very close to us in their methods, but they never had the courage to recognize their own motives. They pretended, perhaps they even believed, that they had seized power unwillingly and for a limited time, and that just round the corner there lay a paradise where human beings would be free and equal. We are not like that. We know that no one ever seizes power with the intention of relinquishing it. Power is not a means; it is an end. One does not establish a dictatorship in order to safeguard a revolution; one makes the revolution in order to establish the dictatorship. The object of persecution is persecution. The object of torture is torture. The object of power is power."

EscapeKey's picture

Poe's law clearly extends to finance.

Ghordius's picture

and yet the whole reason for allowing short sales is liquidity, isn't it? the one thing that this whole messed up financial system currently has absolutely no lack of

on the other side, our dear banks and hedge funds need "churn", they crave for an endless movement of prices that ensures financial's profit, like some ingenuos mechanisms capturing the energy from the ocean's waves

Sandmann's picture

Yes, they have such access to unlimited amounts of cheap liquidity that they are struggling to escape a Liquidity Trap INSIDE the Banks and Hedge Funds but in the Outer World the real economy is facing a Credit Squeeze and Monetary Base Control imposed by the Banks making the real economy Distressed Borrowers forced to liquidate Assets at firesale prices. A better example of Central Banking Disaster is hard to find and makes Friedman and Schwartz look positively hagiographic about the 1920s Fed

Ghordius's picture

and so there was never a time yet where borrowing and leveraging looked that cheap - and were potentially the most dangerous thing to do

except if you are a hedge fund manager, of course, on the old "other people's money" train

Monedas's picture

Don't worry about Italy .... their central bank gold is proudly displayed .... they even have to stack the new stuff in the aisles .... why doesn't our government let us see "the people's gold" ? Some is in Colorado, some at Westpoint, some at NY, some at Ft. Knox .... Hell, it'd all fit in a three car garage !

slackrabbit's picture

Government, protecting you from you for your own good.....

Iocosus's picture

In the US this would not work, as most of the governmental proxy traders essentially short gold and silver on a daily basis.

There is no such thing as a free market. The only time it ever exists is during civil war or immediately after a collapse of civilization, albeit briefly, until the turbulent waters settle and the shit again rises to the top.

hugovanderbubble's picture

MARKET  hAS ENDED = we are trading and investing in a STALINIST PSEUDO MARKET -

Lo longer Real Free Markets. Period.


When real sellers will appear, Italian markets will be halted- "Trading Halted Rules"


BNP bank with more exposure to italian sovereign debt, then Credit Agricole- 


Short French banks

EscapeKey's picture

i wouldn't really call it stalinist, because enterprise is clearly still allowed, provided you allow the banks/governments to milk you.

but it is clearly authoritan, ruled by those hidden in the shadows.

perhaps in this fucked up world, berlusconi is exactly what we need...

Ghordius's picture

don't get me started on berlusconi - I was defending his policies here while he was still PM

fact is that if you follow the financial media you get a totally whacked idea of the political dimensions of the european continent

and if you follow only the English-speaking media it's the same, doubled

it all goes back to one thing and one thing only: for British (and per reflection American) conservatives there is no room for cooperation with continental conservatives - best seen in the fact that a PM like Cameron spends multiples of more time on the phone with Near East potentates than with his counterparts in the council

fact is Bog Island's conservative soul is under the spell of a certain "Down Under" media tycoon and Berlusconi is his rival in Italy

fact is that the British Tories have no sense of peerhood whatsoever towards their ideological brethen in europe's mainland - and a continued sense of "the need for British leadership", instead of cooperation

TheGardener's picture

Ghordius, I remember the Labour party down under being called more conservative than the Tories in England right after Thatcher. Maybe you are chasing a conservative ghost that does not exist in the Anglo-American world either ?
Are neocons conservatives ? The neo-unspeakable somethings
as H.H.Hoppe suggested certainly yes, but conservatives ?

In geo-political dimensions Europe is taken as a whole
and if the main paymaster Germany allows ZERO conservatism
within it`s borders and is administered by a one-party-block
ranging from left to extreme left , all reporting to NWO masters, why tolerate absenting votes from unruly EUSSR provinces?

tallen's picture

Goldman issued it's gold outlook today, slashing its forecast to $1400 in 2014. Also called for end in gold bull cycle.


Hahahahah *wheeze* hahaha. I'm buying a load more bullion today.

GetZeeGold's picture



Well....apparently they took a time machine to 2014 and found out the US balanced it's budget.

Those time machines are handy things to have around.

Mi Naem's picture

If the US balanced our budget, gold would be under $500, probably way under with the (currently deferred) deflation that would ensue. 

No worries.  It won't happen 'til it has to.  Plenty more inflation left to go. 

GetZeeGold's picture



Not if they just balanced it.....if they payed off 16 trillion......maybe.


Not counting on it.

NoWayJose's picture

At least we know who has been shorting gold the last two weeks. This is a good sign, as it means Goldman wants to pull out some sellers so it can cover.

hugovanderbubble's picture

In Spain we have a Law called " Retención de Moneda"....about confiscation Powers xd:)


Deposits + Coins + Bills= if they are not in the SYSTEM will be considered " ILLEGAL" ...so U must keep and probe your money is based on Accounts and no physical holdings...


Ghordius's picture

that's stage one of the "corralito", isn't it? Gonzalo Lira's expectations for Spain (I'm a bit more skeptical, yet)

Monedas's picture

Retencion de Moneda = Monedas is constipated !

TheGardener's picture

Financial privacy as a basic human right is high on my
priorities for rules that would get us going again after
the inevitable reset.

If the system turns outright illegal you have to get out of their money. Sounded fancy years ago , conspiracy theorists
trying to push gold...

This "Rentencion de Moneda" is worse than any conspiracy anyone could have come up with back then.

Edward Fiatski's picture

I'm so very, very sorry, Italy.

Ghordius's picture

now this is unexpected - you like him? if you take away his laudable anti-corruption drive all that is left is a social democrat with strong "green" policies

tip e. canoe's picture

was wondering when you would chime in about ol' Beppe, Ghordi ;~)

the problem that Italy faces in their nascent quest for independence (as well as Greece, Spain and just about everyone else that is not sitting on a shale deposit), is how to get the petrol they need (or rather are addicted to), especially since the good ol' boys at NATO took out the MoQ across the Med.

interesting times indeed.

booboo's picture

With the landscape littered with financial mines the ZH crowd is getting complacent, we can sit on the hillside having a good laugh at the retards staggering around in it and guffawing at the driunken leaders weaving back and forth in their saddle barking orders but this shit is getting serious. Time to head back to the homestead and finish getting our house in order. One of them mines is connected to the rest.

NoDebt's picture

We banned short selling for a time in '08 if you remember.  It didn't stop the bleeding in the markets.  Nothing stopped it until the government said "Oh, just forget all that mark-to-market stuff.  Value it however you see fit.  And here's a trillion dollars of taxpayer money to boot."


orangegeek's picture

Don't worry, make money.

ptoemmes's picture

Maybe Tyler shoud be the next appointed technocrat of Italy ;-)

Monedas's picture

Italy has no enemies, is protected by Catholics around the world, it's the Baja California of Europe, they're sucking the Germans dry, they know how to survive and don't have any Hillary Clintons trying to save the world with YOUR money .... don't cry for me Sardinia .... the truth is I never left you .... the bell trolls for thee !  North Korean leaders have contingency plans to resettle in Sardinia when TSHTF !   Tangerine .... caballeros sigh and toast her .... all across .... the Sardine !

GMadScientist's picture

Didn't these machinations end rather badly the last time they were tried?

I'm reminded of the Richard Pryor bit about 'chicken scratching" in the carpet when he ran out of dope looking for something anything to put in the pipe and burn.

q99x2's picture

At least they have a comedian running the show. That fact alone is enough for hope. If they move to an open source monetary system Italy once again could become, as Virgil stated, The New World Order.

Grand Supercycle's picture

SP500 daily & weekly uptrends simultaneously completing protracted topping process.

Resultant downtrend will have good momentum.