This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.
Two Cows: The Infographic
There are many complexities in the socio-economic structures that the nations (and corporations) of the world have used (and abused) over the years. Volumes have been written to explain the intricacies of Capitalism, Fascism, Communism, and Socialism; and how these impact various corporations from Iran to Greece to Australia. However, in the interest of brevity, the following infographic - utilizing nothing more than two cows (which perhaps should now be horses, considering their inflationary displacement capacity for firms like IKEA and Nestle) to provide everything you need to know about ecomoomic s.
»
- 52413 reads
- Printer-friendly version
- Send to friend
- advertisements -
A Jewish corporation:
~~~
Create a paper market out of them... Start a [LEGAL TENDER] fiat currency system... then pile on derivatives while you devalue the paper to zero...
My Autobiography - Part 2
A Virtuous Life - A story of courage, integrity and bravery
At the age of six, I was sent to a prestigious boarding school in Connecticut. From the very beginning, I knew I was a gifted child. I excelled in politics, modern history and Latin, and at the end of my first year I was awarded the headmaster's award for best overall student. My school years had a fundamental influence on my attitudes toward academia and my appreciation for academic credentials.
Cuba imports cigars from him. Mosquitoes won't bite him, out of respect.
Sounds like Simon Black.
I forgot to mention [above]... PRINT as many free paper cows for yourself at your leisure once you've achieved the franchise...
California's 43rd Congressional District
You have two cows...
...send one to DC...
Moo...Eewww!
Obamanism:
You have no cows. Mainstream media reports you have 7 cows and growing.
Affirmative Action Corporation:
You take the dumbest, ugliest, blackest bovine you can find and make him President-for-Life.
After scrolling down to comment on MDB I forgot what I was going to say.
Oh yeah, MDB what was the award for?
Now I remember, the award was for being a pretensious twit.
Its not true, Kiwis are not cow shaggers they are sheep shaggers
A Canadian Corporation:
You have two cows. Instead of "MOOOOOO", the cows blurt out "EEEEEEEHH?".
A South African Corporation:
You have two cows.
Inside the 20' walls of your fortified position.
A Japanese Corporation.. you have two cows
You use one for a reading lamp because you can’t sell it but it glows in the dark and the other one is too old to give milk or move around anymore so it just sits in the barn in a Sumo size "Depends" adult bovine diaper.
Irish Corporation. You have two cows in amisty green field, and dance in front of them shirtless in tights with your arms straight down toDanny Boy and other rebel songs of Ireland, then lose the cows along the line modelled by the Greeks
A German corp.
You have two cows.
You reengineer them so that they live 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.
A Prepper:
You have two cows
You buy an AK so you can protect your cows
A Greek Corporation:
You have two cows
You can't milk them because they are on strike
An Iranian Corp.
You have 2 cows. Israel accuses you of using them to transport nuclear weapons through the desert to Israel. Iran claims they are for milking. The CIA states they appear to be for milking. Bibi goes to the UN and shows a line on a milk bottle infographic. The US attacks Iran to stop the cows from blowing up Israel.
Banksterism:
You have ten cows and you use them to bribe politicians to give you monopoly on cow pictures. You take a picture of your neighbor's cow and print trillion copies of it, then trade them for all the cows in the world.
American Capitalism
You have no cows or milk or money. Government prints money which it loans for free to banks who use it to purchase government debt which pays for invasion of foreign countries. After successful invasion, American corporations borrow money from American banks to buy local cows on the cheap and pay local slave population to milk them. Milk is sent back to America where American entrepreneurs borrow money from banks to purchase and distribute the milk to people on government food stamps who happily consume it.
San Francisco Corporation:
You have two cows. You spend all your time grooming them and applying hair product, then hire a team of HTML5/JavaScript programmers to create an animal rights website.
San Francisco Corporation:
You are not interested in cows but you have two bulls. You take them to a bath house.
Ha Ha Ha [above] ~ it's all FUNNY if you criticize:
~~~
Socialists, Communists, Facists, Bureaucrats, Capitalists, VC's, Americans, Frogs, Wops, Dots, Limeys, Iraquis, Aussies, Greeks, Japs, Chinks, Rednecks, Niggers, SandNiggers, Spics, & Towelheads ...
Jews [the Chosen] are untouchable... God Almighty said so himself...
These Jews are way too fucking sensitive...............its funny in a sad, pathetic way...
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2284590/Oscars-2013-Seth-Ma...
It's fucking PATHETIC...
~~~
I can't count the number of times I've used the Lord's name in vain in my life... Amazingly ~ I have yet to be struck by a bolt of lightning from the sky...
These MF'ers have fucking stroke at the mere mention of the word "matzoh"...
Last I checked ~ God Almighty HIMSELF had no need of an 'Anti-defamation League'...
Yes... yes..., if we can't kid each other, who can we kid?
But your Jewish phobia is becoming suspect.
Suspect of what? Do you know why Bernie Madoff (jewish) is in jail? One of the few jewish swindlers ever arrested, tried and convicted for financial crimes? Because he screwed alot of jews. He touched their junk and was a good guy when he made them money, but he was the persona non grata when he couldn't pay it back. They wailed when they discovered he had stolen from them. Big mistake. Don't ever steal from a Jew.
Bennie Shalom B. however makes them lots of money with his wealth recapitalization and transfer schemes. So did Jon Corzine, the "untouchable" who stole from the rest of America.
Next?
Every religion or nationality has their criminals. Pick one, and any half-wit can generate a list at least as impressive as yours. Your argument is weak. What are your type really afraid of?
Never mind mr peabody. Mr "Flight of the Valkyries" is just slipping back into the abyss that many are falling into in this day and age. Targeting a scapegoat.
I call bullshit on you freak. What you are attempting to imply is not what this is about at all. It's about a protected class of people who are above and beyond reproach and this is not limited to just the Old Testament adherants.
Look, we are not anti-semites. I am working on a response to these fuckwads but just got started on it this evening so it will take a little time. I really do not give one flying fuck what religion it is that you might adhere to if any, because if you believe in the following bullshit, then you should not reply to me. Ever. Questions? Let's call a spade a spade shall we?
If you have high blood pressure, please read with caution and only read a little at a time.
http://www.prosperousamerica.org/fixing-americas-economy/
Psshhh. Jews aint got nothing on the Chinese. Try getting between a Chinese businessman and his money. You'll be lucky if you make it to jail.
(+1 F_S and Walkure.) Who said anyone was kidding?
Francis Sawyer arrives at the Pearly Gates in front of St. Peter. St. Peter opens his book of Francis' life and arrives at a particularly large number. "It says here that you've taken the Lord's name in vain 1,356,987 times." To which Francis replies "1,356,987! Jesus Fucking Chri..."...
Let me fill you in on this "guilt-tripping" business:
1. Jews use it for a competitive advantage and leverage for a "better deal". They are shrewd.
2. Traditional Christians (especially Catholics in the Middle Ages) used it for social control of the peasants and maintaining a hierarchy. They were/are cruel.
3. Don't subscribe to either. Call them out on it, and tell them to "piss off"... or something to that effect.
Jesus tipped the cows over in the temple
and woody, you gotta save woody from the oven.
Welfare Cow: You care for them, in the hopes that they'll produce milk one day, but get nothing in return, except crap and broken fences.
Holstein cows are no better than Jersey cows. One's a gansta, the other terrorizes you.
To keep them in line, you spend more money on cowboys. With guns. The cows and cowboys do not get along, but you still care for both.
Some cows want to leave their pasture and move on to greener pastures, with shiny, bling-lined water buckets and oats troughs. Other cows look romantically at your kids and want to marry them.
You know you need to get out of this business -- now! -- but can't get off this Animal Farm. You pray for a meteor, aliens or divine intervention -- while drinking soy-milk & vodka, because you know that it's 5 o'clock somewhere in the world. You now brainstorm about cowboys turning the cows into hamburger, then laying them off.
All the dang cows want to come to California to be happy.
Obamanism: (corrected)
You have no cows. Mainstream media circulates pictures of you shooting skeet.
i can't get this right - but one of you guys can - along the lines of 'you didn't buy that cow, the gov. did'.
Bossy does not like that comparison...
Which one's Bossy?
The one chewing her cud.
Sorry, but that still doesn't help.
LOL,
You still have two cows...
One at home and one with mad cow disease.
I don't get it. Which one went to D.C.?
WB7 would be proud.
Saying that she's a cow is an insult to cows.
+1 Post of the day!
The below is similar.
The 1% few
After applying some simple algebra to some trite phrases and cliches a new
understanding can be reached of the secret to wealth and success.
Here it goes.
Knowledge is Power
Time is Money,... and, as every engineer knows:
Power is Work over Time.
So, substituting algebraic equations for these time worn bits of wisdom, we get:
K = P (1)
T = M (2)
P = W/T (3)
Now, do a few simple substitutions:
Put W/T in for P in equation (1), which yields:
K = W/T (4)
Put M in for T into equation (4), which yields:
K = W/M (5).
Now we've got something. Expanding back into English, we get:
Knowledge equals Work over Money.
What this MEANS is that:
1. The More You Know, the More Work You Do, and
2. The More You Know, the Less Money You Make.
Solving for Money, we get:
M = W/K (6)
Money equals Work Over Knowledge.
From equation (6) we see that Money approaches infinity as Knowledge approaches 0, regardless of the Work done.
What THIS MEANS is:
3. The More you Make, the Less you Know.
Solving for Work, we get
W = M K (7)
Work equals Money times Knowledge
From equation (7) we see that Work approaches 0 as Knowledge approaches 0.
What THIS MEANS is:
4. The stupid rich do little or no work.
Working out the socioeconomic implications of this breakthrough is left as
an exercise for the reader.
It's really much simpler. Those who flunked out of engineering went to business school. Now, those former business majors manage the engineers, and they still don't understand engineering.
Actually, Cali has four heifers. You could easily replace the four footed bovine with Pelosi, Fienstein, or Boxer, all udder liberals.
The term 'mad cow disease' (MCD) is in use because the term PMS was alredy taken...
now that's funny right there.
... Continued:
I realized at that early age that I was going to change the world in a fundamental way. As I progressed through my school years, I developed a passion for analyzing current affairs. Even back then, I could see what was missing from American politics. One of my earliest criticisms of American legislation, and one that I hold to this day, was that there is absolutely no Federal law enforcing minimal academic standards for politicians. I believe to this day that American politics simply cannot progress unless there is an explicit law requiring politicians to have a degree from an Ivy League college. If we cannot maintain the integrity and competence of politicians, then we cannot expect wise and sensible legislation. This is a fundamental truth that cannot be ignored.
Only he can touch the museum art. Even Buddist monks laugh at his jokes...
You are as narcissistic as Barry are you.
My flatuelence could run this country better while providing the populace with much needed energy.
If you want to ensure the collapse of a society, make certain it's leaders are sliver spoon academics who have never held a shovel or done an honest day's work in their life.
Well here in the UK, that is the case, neither the PM nor the Minister of Finance have worked in a day job? We haven't gone down yet, but I think it may just be inertia and once Europe topples..
PS. Since when was knowing how to actually do something a qualifying criteria for a politician anywhere?
So, you would be excluded from politics MDB because your degree is from Queens College?
no way you could graduate queens college writing comedy like that
How true. If you can't at least get into Cornell, for God's sake, you have no business in Public Life.
I respectfully disagree sir.
Poiticians should be ignorant and illiterate. We could pay them less, they wouldn't read the bill anyway, and we can send them outside to play on the playgraound like recess in grade school. I have $16 Trillion that says the economy would improve overnight.
MDB - please conjugate subjunctive mood, passive voice, imperfect tense of Latin verb prehendo. It will help to verify your credentials as "I knew I was a gifted child. I excelled in… Latin". Also your status and respect here on ZeroHedge will be boosted if you can translate "ZeroHedge" into Latin.
Socialism .... you give one cow to your neighbor ? Isn't that special ? What about all cows belong to the state cooperative .... the young men do all the work .... and all the widows, orphans, other mens families and welfare recipients get milk for free with their EBT cards !
Sounds like a dull fiction novelette to me.
Keynesianism
You throw one cow through a window, breaking the window and killing the cow.
You write a column in the New York Times to explain why this results in economic growth.
bernakeism,
you have two cows, you take pictures of them, photo copy them a few trillion times, pass them out to your friends, and call it wealth creation.
Corporatocracy:
You don't have any cows, but you bribe Government to enact a law by which cow-owners are obliged to store their cows in your stable. You charge owners for storing their cows. You re-re-rehypothecate all the cows and open a casino with the profit. You go bankrupt and former cow-owners bail you out...
Current American Recovery
You have two cows, but you can't pay the taxes so the gov takes them.
You decide fuck it and go outside and play.
http://cl.jroo.me/z3/P/E/D/d/a.aaa-Cow-Vs-Girl.jpg
New Zealand cow on the right I assume...Im moooving!
Oh hell yes I'd hit that (the chick I mean).
Gayocracy:
You have two male cows and all they eat is heeey. To celebrate there is a national White Party.
And then start to collect fees for looking at the cow picture.
Ocassionally demand milk.
+11
Government:
You have two cows. The government takes one for itself and forces you to share the other cow's milk with poor cow-less people. Eventually, it kills both you and the remaining cow.
government:
realizes you have more than two cows on land authorized for only two cows
comes and confiscates all your cows
but government cannot milk your defective cows they have confiscated
because they are in fact dogs
rehomes your cows(dogs) with foster family
pays foster family two cows to care for your 8 cows (dogs)
jails you for cruelty to cows
You have no cows, but are blessed with an overabundance of steaming sun-cooked turds.
I thought that was a Krugmanism?
His Mom has a tattoo that says MillionDollarBonus
Did we miss Part 1 MDB...?
I Was A Crackhead's Pre- Mature Test Tube Baby
How about "I was the Semen that missed the Crackheads Womb"?
MDB: The best part of me ran down the crack of my momma's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress.
Naaah. That was copy paste from Obumba's autobiography.
Yeah, I think we all know why you won the "headmaster" award.
"At the age of six, I was sent to a prestigious boarding school in Connecticut. I have never seen an actual cow."
Headmaster : " come in my office for a sweet?"
MDB : " I'll cum in your mouth for the bag "
I think you meant:
MDB: "I'll let you cum in mouth for the whole bag"
Jesus people...
There are easily damaged childish minds reading this shit.
Puleeeeeeze!
atleast you spelled Connecticut right this time :-)
OT: Hagel confirmed.
Confirmed as a what?
...skip to the part with the dead hookers, sex trade and gun running. Ahhhh...chicken soup for the soul.
So, by age 6 your parents realized they couldn't stand you and sent you away. But what about the 2cows? Did they attend a prestigious dairy farm?
Is that why you chose HerbaLife?
A Polish Corporation:
You have 2 bulls. You try milking them. They kick you in the face. You're out of business.
A Jewish-Keynesian Corporation:
You establish a corporate banking monopoly that enables itself to create money out of nothing to buy the two cows by surrendering nothing itself. You then lend out that money at usurious credit rates to the buyers of the two cows by inventing a form of national debt that is physically impossible to repay. You then assume monopolization of national credit on all basic activities of mankind, economically enslaving with cow debt the peoples of the world who physically and materially maintain the cows at no expense to you. You call it a United States Federal Reserve System to fool the people into thinking it's not a private bank and thereby usurp all the world’s economic and political powers.
An Icelandic Corporation:
Your cows starve to death as they are only provided chum, mullet, and other cut bait for to eat.
An Icelandic Corporation:
Your cows starve to death as they are only provided chum, mullet, and other cut bait to eat.
Yeah, economics is real complex. Fake money printed from thin air by a private cartel of crooks, the "Federal" reserve, and all of its clones. Fake "austerity" and fake "debt".
I reject your premise .... Fascism, Socialism and Communism .... are one in the same .... and they have been tried to death .... and have not worked .... Capitalism is different .... it has been toyed with .... but never explored as deeply as the Socialist Sisters .... but it works miracles .... every time it's tried .... we need to go balls against the wall .... just like the North Koreans did with Communism !
Capitalism has one major flaw: the vision of then anointed (hat tip to Thomas Sowell) does not allow any of the great unwashed to achieve success. Plebes only get what the elites (Ivy Leaguers, banksters, etc.) determine is good for them. Capitalism, because it can lift all who strive, is therefore unacceptable.
Hey F.S.
Forget cows. You are a giant jackass!!
EU corporation...one of those cows is a horse.
How are the Silver Bears doing?
Do you mean the talking teddy bears that taught me to BTFD? Zerohedge has warped me...
silver bears enjoying their golden years as cows
Correction is over. Back to schoolwork.
Can't even call it a correction. BTFDers still believe. Never follows thru. Disturbing.
German corporation: One cow will be sent sent to China such that they can copy the milk. The other one becomes a collateral in the context of the European Stability Mechanism.
Up button doesn't work. +1
Cows for Dummies. An infographic.
Cows with guns. A song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPhWfSeMYHA
You have a chocolate cow. You award it by allowing it to announce the Grammy winners. You see this cow every freakin' day. That cow has her own jet airplane, that cow is a millionaire. That cow hates America, but has no problem engulfing herself into any event, headline, contest, or announcement. That cow has gone mad.
does this cow avoid wearing anything with sleeves?
Moochelle.
I'm shocked, shocked, by the wookie reference made here.
I hear Wookie bangs are 'in' this year.
At least the Wookie in Star Wars smiled occasionally.
These people are beyond despicable. They don’t realize that people didn't vote for them because they love them. They voted against Romney who said he had Israel’s back if Netanyahu bombed Iran; Romney, who went to Tel Aviv for a fundraiser and, if that wasn’t enough, barred reporters… And, any way that you look at it, there is little difference between Hollywood and the Obamas – their principles and affections are one and the same.
One of the things I hear most often on talk radio programs:
Q: Well, what did you think of Obama’s speech?
A: I can’t stand to even look at him.
Exit polls for November credit Obama's ending of the Iraq war as the most often mentioned factor for voting for him. In America, voters are not offered a choice of picking a candidate; they are given a choice between who most to avoid.
Is there beef in those cows, or some other beast of burden?
The beast of burden is taxpayer.
Oohh, wow this is so original. I haven't seen the two cows bit since last year. I'm definitely going to follow 9GAG on Pinterest now!
First saww a limited version of it some 25 years ago in a Mobil Oil Ad.
I'm going to assume the down votes are because you don't like 9GAG's work. Dude, I'm telling you check out his Pinterest. If you're not on Pinterest, paste your email here and I will invite you to be my Pinterest buddy. Then we can Pinterest all day with all the cool people.
You know Obama? /definite snark
’Capitalism Hits the Fan’: A Lecture by Richard Wolff on the Economic Meltdown?
http://billmoyers.com/content/%E2%80%AAcapitalism-hits-the-fan-a-lecture...
Economist Richard Wolff believes capitalism has spun out of control, is not salvageable in its current state, and that nothing short of a major systemic overhaul is needed to get America back on track and fix the problems that unraveled our economy.
In his lecture, “Capitalism Hits the Fan,” Professor Wolff dissects the 30-year-old root causes of the recent financial crisis. He explains how a combination of factors — outsourced jobs, flat wages, soaring credit card debt and the biggest corporate profits in history — led to the most severe economic crisis of his lifetime.
“Stressed, exhausted, this is a population that has reached the limits, it cannot carry more debt and it can’t do more work,” Wolff says. “That’s why this is not a temporary problem, this is not a blip along the way. We have reached the limits of the kind of capitalism this society has become.”
What is practiced by corporations in the US is not capitalism, nor does it involve free markets. The only free market I've seen lately is that involving Mexican lawn maintenance crews. If the government doesn't know you're here, they can't tax or regulate you.
It's missing the only one that represents the world we actually live in, in the US, at least:
US STYLE GOVT SUBSIDIZED CRONY CAPITALISM
A Bernanke Corporation
You have 2 cows...........press a print button......you now have a trillion 'cows' of which only 2 are real. Nonetheless, you 'lend' part of the trillion printed cows to the venture capitalist who then does the derivative/swap/double count/Cayman thing and leverages the printed to buy a real Corporate cow -- or two, and goes back to the Fed window and negotiates another Fed printed trillion cows ......etc., etc.
While all along, at a distance, the media is trumpeting your success and how wonderful the 'cow' economy is doing......seasonally adjusted, of course........all the while discounting and ridiculing the sane on the sidelines that are trying to point out that there are only two 'real' cows and frankly, the cow economy is thus a mirage. Driven crazy with the obsurd, the sane start to think that socialism ain't that bad and elect Obama :-)
EU Corporatoon
the eu take both cows and pay you not to keep any cows or produce any milk
Free Trade Cow:
You put one cow on each side of the border, and ship the milk they produce to the other side of the line to get more subsidies and make GDP higher.
It ain't the cows. It's the bullshit we need to worry about.
A ZH Reader
you had two cows but they fell out of your canoe while transporting them to the other side of the lake ...
Keynesianism:
You have one cow. You clone several trillion more cows. The cows produce a mountain of shit so large it kills all your cows. You tell everyone that shit mountain is "transitory" and then you clone more cows.
No.
You market the shit as "the stuff of growth" for the agricultural community. You sell it to farmers who raise corn for cows.
New Zealand...LOL!
I thought it was the sheep there that are nervous.
YOU are the Bull that resists. Before you can get there, DHS puts many cows out to pasture. You find other like-minded Bulls and eventually DHS is Bullshit - literally ... oh wait.
LE 9 GAG ARMY IS SHIT
LE MONKEY FACE
DELETE 9GAGLE LE LE LE LE LE
An Al Gore Corporation:
You kill both cows because they produce methane, then fly away back to your huge mansion on your big jet airplane. Thanking your daddy for all those Occidental Petroleum shares.
Woohoo, life is grand!
You forgot one little detail. Many of the 5,000 cows held by the Swiss Corporation were in fact stolen from murdered Jews.
Maybe true, but 4,999 of those cows were paper cutouts...
Correction: they where not murdered. They went on vacation and never came back.
America: Beef sells for 50 cents a pound. You have a 1000 pound steer. You get the Federal Reserve to create a policy which says your cow is worth $1000. You can't sell the cow, so you import the beef. The rancher borrows against his $1000 cow to buy another cow that someone is selling for $500, but no one is selling so he buys back his own cow for half price and doubles his money.
The Mafia corporation:
You have one cow and seven horses, you kill all of them put them through a mincer and mix them together, package them and sell them as 100% beef. Milk is produced by genetically modified potatoes.
"Milk is produced by genetically modified soy." There, fixed it for ya.
You now label the soymilk as 'Raw Milk', and sell it at Yuppie prices to 5 Up-tickers, because they know shit about milk.
Federal agents raid them and put them in prison with guys named "butch" because they are selling raw milk. Prison stocks rise.
Yuppies lamenting no more genetically modified potatoe milk and having missed the uptick in prison stocks pass series 7 exams and make bundles selling horse shit to muppets.
Heh heh, I wish I could vote this infographic at 10 circles, 5 just isn't enough. Belly laughs at the French, Indian, Iraqi, New Zealand, and Greek Cows.
Demopublican Party Cows:
You have two cows. Cow B doesn't have as much grass as Cow A, so you take half the grass from Cow A, spend three quarters of that to cover the health care of both cows, and give the other quarter to Cow B.
Republicrat Party Cows:
You have two cows. Cow B doesn't have as much grass as Cow A, so you take half the grass from Cow A, spend nine tenths of that to defend both cows, and give the other tenth to Cow B.
Libertarian Party Cows:
You have two cows. Your neighbor has two cows. You have a fence around your cows so they don't graze on your neighbor's land. You make butter and your neighbor makes ice cream, which you trade equally. You doctor your cows yourself, as does your neighbor. And you both have guns to defend your cows.
And while peacefully minding your own libertarian cow business the other two cowowners, jealous of your phenomenal self made wonderful life, vote themselves as rulers of the universe, take all four cows and tell the two of you're a threat to their existence, and without counsel, disappeared your asses to some fucking cow dung pile without a trial from whence you shall never reappear.
And merrily eat your cows so there's nothing left.
Again
You forgot the part with the gun fight or drone strikes.