Jamie Dimon: "That's Why I Am Richer Than You"

Tyler Durden's picture




 

There's a reason why Wall Street is so "beloved" by 99% of the people, and that reason is today best summarized by Jamie Dimon's 'witty' retort to Mike Mayo, perhaps the most hated banking analyst, who asked the JPM CEO a simple question - why affluent customers would not pick UBS over JPM due to a mismatch in capital ratios, to which Dimon's response is even simpler: "that's why I'm richer than you." No logic, no rationale: all about the bottom line, which to Jamie at least is all that matters. As for Mr. Dimon's pending application to purchase a Micronesian private island, we would surmise that the wealth mismatch is far more due to the too big fail banking system which means every time Mr. Dimon uses hundreds of billions in excess deposits to corner the IG9 market or to pursue any other uber-levered venture which blows up in his face even as the firm's highly accurate VaR.xls spreadsheet outputs the RAND() function, the government, also known as JPM's OpCo 1, will rapidly rush to bail him, and his riches, out.

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Wed, 02/27/2013 - 09:10 | 3281260 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

You're all class, Jaime.  Somebody piss in his bisque already.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 09:12 | 3281270 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

We'll just have to pay for it.....and the clean up to boot.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 09:15 | 3281283 espirit
espirit's picture

From the ZH Frontrunning article:

* Jamie Dimon, the chief executive of JPMorgan Chase & Co , vowed to change how the bank deals with Internet-based payday lenders that automatically withdraw payments from borrowers' checking accounts.

Turf Wars (2013), Bitchez Publishing.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 09:47 | 3281378 willwork4food
willwork4food's picture

Personally, I think Jamie would look smashing with a .9999% pure silver cow prod jamed up his ass.

There, another industrial use for silver bitches.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 10:00 | 3281405 Big Slick
Big Slick's picture

When those 'in charge' cannot engage in reasonable debate you know the endgame is near.

This exchange reminded me EXACTLY of the one between Jeff Skilling and analyst Richard Grubman during an Enron earnings call:

RG: "You know, you are the only financial institution that can't produce a balance sheet or a cash flow statement with their earnings.”

JS: "Thank you very much, we appreciate it ... as$hole."

Examine the history of the Enron demise for a great case study on what is about to happen to the US as a whole.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 10:00 | 3281429 jcaz
jcaz's picture

Always fun to watch a douche flame his own image..... 

Oh wait- he already did that when he admitted he wasn't smart enough to track the Whale......

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 10:06 | 3281450 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

 

According to the Controller of Currency and National Banks, here are the stats for the following banks as of September 2012:

JPMorgan Chase

Total Assets: $1.85 trillion dollars

Total Exposure To Derivatives: $71.07 trillion dollars

Oh yeah, the new definition of 'rich'...

 

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 10:08 | 3281463 flacon
flacon's picture

You know how we “hate” the bankers because they have ruined our economy, and when they get in trouble they always get a “bail out”. One of the worst banks is Goldman Sachs, and the CEO of Goldman Sachs is Lloyd Blankfein. Well I was doing some research over the weekend to see what sort of person he is. I came across this video interview with him. Remember, he’s a “Six Sigma” kind of guy, the epitome of American corporate workplace. Take a listen to this part of the interview about PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY. I think he’s a psychopath who was trained at a young age that it’s “MY IDEA IF IT WORKED, AND HIS PROBLEM IF IT DIDN’T”. That is carte blanche seeing into the soul of pure evil. It’s “Heads I win, tails you lose.”. And to think that he actually admitted it, in public, and now you are going to watch it. These people need to be torn to pieces in the public square and their assets burned, fields salted and all their awards burned.

 

The last thing he advises is that when things look horrible, you MUST COVER IT UP or people will “jump out the window”.

 

Oh this guy is going to burn in Hell hotter than Satan!

 

Check this out

 

Forward to 3:50 – 5:15

Business: Corner Office: Lloyd Blankfein

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVTWHtCsI_s

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 10:13 | 3281478 Big Slick
Big Slick's picture

"How funny is that?"

Not funny at all.  Can't wait to see these CNBC clowns when it starts to unravel.  "How funny will that be?"

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 10:14 | 3281480 Manthong
Manthong's picture

OK kids, todays quiz:

What is a four letter word to describe a person who demonstrates in word and deed  a) narcissism, b) a lack of empathy, and c) that he lives in a world of his own mental superiority, apart from most every other person on the planet?  

Hint: it begins with E and includes the letters V, I and L.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 10:22 | 3281505 espirit
espirit's picture

Warning!  The following link will elicit a gag reflex.

Use sparingly...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jamie_Dimon

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 13:53 | 3282344 12ToothAssassin
12ToothAssassin's picture

"Im richer than you" is one of my favorite argument reasonings

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 14:35 | 3282519 EscapingProgress
EscapingProgress's picture

Absent QE JPM would be insolvent. I don't understand why Dimon thinks he is such a badass. He is a beggar in a nice suit.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 16:45 | 3283126 12ToothAssassin
12ToothAssassin's picture

A nice suit and Presidential cufflinks

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 18:41 | 3283513 phyuckyiu
phyuckyiu's picture

At first since the picture was blurry, I thought it had a masonic square and compass, but after reading the dailymail link I see that it is indeed the presidential seal. Then it occurred to me that my first impression was still correct.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 12:19 | 3281955 Tango in the Blight
Tango in the Blight's picture

I was thinking of a different word that begins with a P and ends with sychopath.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 12:50 | 3282128 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

and i was thinking of "typical citizen of Los Angeles"

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 12:24 | 3281975 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

People like Jamie Dimon or Barack Obama are narcissistic, megalomanical sociopaths. They lack any system of personal morals. That doesn't necessarily make them evil-- just amoral. It's the ones behind the scenes that use people like Dimon and Obama to do their bidding, that are truly evil. They are much harder to spot.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 12:08 | 3281901 Titus
Titus's picture

@ Flacon on Lloyd Blankfein:

I think he’s a psychopath who was trained at a young age that it’s “MY IDEA IF IT WORKED, AND HIS PROBLEM IF IT DIDN’T”.

No shit? I wondered how he made it to the top of the squid, I mean he seems like such a nice guy...

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 12:59 | 3282154 Liquid Courage
Liquid Courage's picture

Nice shirt, Lloyd ... that's Kevlar, isn't it? Good choice.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 10:10 | 3281464 Big Slick
Big Slick's picture

Ann Barnhardt visits the issue of JPM's leverage ratio near the end of her video "The world economy is going to explode and you deserve to know why"  WORTH EVERY SECOND OF THE 2.5 HOURS!

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 10:04 | 3281442 SamAdams
SamAdams's picture

What is the cuff-link symbolic of?  Anyone know what we are looking at?

The world operates on symbols, which are the means of unspoken communication (your alphabeta is symbols). 

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 10:18 | 3281493 Badabing
Badabing's picture

Looks like a 1/10th oz coin

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 10:23 | 3281509 hoos bin pharteen
hoos bin pharteen's picture

33rd degree masonic - Scottish rite?

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 12:14 | 3281928 rqb1
rqb1's picture

I don't know if they would let him in, he's Greek

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 13:15 | 3282207 Shell Game
Shell Game's picture

Wish I could reach out and 'touch' that arm with my Kukri..

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 13:08 | 3282185 138
138's picture

Just a little reminder from Jamie of who actually runs the government...

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 11:45 | 3281810 QQQBall
QQQBall's picture

Nice Call big stick. Right before the bank crash, large CRE mortgage firms were posturing as "correspondent mortgage banks" rather than brokers. They were doing a lot of the grunt work for the banks and they gained control over the appraisal process and the banks simply said "you  have to use our approved appraisers." But if you came in low or called out an issue with the property, they (mortgage brokers) would not engage you again. I am happy to report that one of the lenders that did this was at $26/share at the time and last I looked they were under a buck.The bad drove out the good and you had no recourse if they shitcanned you for doing a good job.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 11:46 | 3281811 QQQBall
QQQBall's picture

Nice Call big stick. Right before the bank crash, large CRE mortgage firms were posturing as "correspondent mortgage banks" rather than brokers. They were doing a lot of the grunt work for the banks and they gained control over the appraisal process and the banks simply said "you  have to use our approved appraisers." But if you came in low or called out an issue with the property, they (mortgage brokers) would not engage you again. I am happy to report that one of the lenders that did this was at $26/share at the time and last I looked they were under a buck.The bad drove out the good and you had no recourse if they shitcanned you for doing a good job.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 10:49 | 3281568 e_goldstein
e_goldstein's picture

Instead, make it out of paper; the irony would be palpable and it would probably ignite if you ran enough current through it.

No reason to waste good physical on that douchebag.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 09:47 | 3281379 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

.

As for Mr. Dimon's pending application to purchase a Micronesian private island,

GPS coordinates, anyone?

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 10:30 | 3281518 Manthong
Manthong's picture

We may soon have the perfect spot to replace Vieques and Kahoolawe for the Navy.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 10:16 | 3281487 Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

Targetting coordinates?

 

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 09:27 | 3281288 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

"Repression is the only lasting philosophy. The dark deference of fear and slavery, my friend," observed the Marquis, "will keep the dogs obedient to the whip, as long as this roof," looking up to it, "shuts out the sky." Marquis St. Evrémonde in A Tale of Two Cities.

Where is our modern day Gaspard?

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 09:28 | 3281317 a growing concern
a growing concern's picture

That only works for as long as the heads stay connected to the bodies.  We can only hope that Dimon's soon go their own separate ways.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 10:06 | 3281455 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

That may be true Jamie, but sometime in the near future you're going to be DEADER than me too.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 09:37 | 3281343 midtowng
midtowng's picture

The very next paragraph:

That might not be so long as the Marquis supposed. If a picture of the chateau as it was to be a very few years hence, and of fifty like it as they too were to be a very few years hence, could have been shown to him that night, he might have been at a loss to claim his own from the ghastly, fire-charred, plunder-wrecked rains. As for the roof he vaunted, he might have found THAT shutting out the sky in a new way—to wit, for ever, from the eyes of the bodies into which its lead was fired, out of the barrels of a hundred thousand muskets.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 09:54 | 3281392 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

...a hundred thousand muskets. "
They must not have had background checks for private firearm purchases back then. ;-)

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 10:05 | 3281454 Big Slick
Big Slick's picture

"It is a far better butt-kicking I give than I have ever butt-kicked!"

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 09:49 | 3281384 kliguy38
kliguy38's picture

Where's Longsoupline??

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 10:02 | 3281434 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

I've been waiting on breakfast till after I read his rant...

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 09:17 | 3281289 aint no fortuna...
aint no fortunate son's picture

Is that richer BEFORE your fucking bonus got cut in half for your incompetent handling of the IG9 losses, you arrogant shit?

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 12:47 | 3282113 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

What a person really thinks will be revealed upon a close hearing of what they say.  Unfortunately, for Mr. Dimon, what he says is dissected minutely.  His comment is telling of the underlying sentiment.  The guy is a sociopath and an narcissist (if that's not redundant).

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 09:47 | 3281380 yogibear
yogibear's picture

Jamie Diamon:

"Muppets, I'm putting my banks on every street corner, crowding out the competition. You shop at a grocery store and my people will be in your face making my bank the only one you'll be using!!!"

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 10:42 | 3281530 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

nothing personifies these vomitous truths better than Jamie

rhymes with sublime

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 11:04 | 3281621 S5936
S5936's picture

The jerk is a disease on society. I'm sure his ticket to Dante's 8 circle of hell is punched !

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 11:05 | 3281623 tempo
tempo's picture

Robots created Jamie. Robots eliminate millions of decent paying jobs. So tax revenues are flat or decline and central bankers (JPM/GS are essential parts of the gang)must stimulate to fund entitlements and keep consumption from dropping too fast. The deflationary impact of lower wages and fewer jobs offsets the inflationary side of the excess liquidity. As The impact of robots accelerates so will the power of the central bankers programs as will Jamies' wealth. Its like having a serious form of cancer. It seems that every week, I learn of a friend or family member who is crushed by losing a job or having to take a part time job. These are people who will never recover their previous lifes. Jamie isn't the problem. He just happens to be part of the necessary programs to delay social unrest.

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