Tim Geithner To Hold Financial Crisis Seminars

Tyler Durden's picture


When it comes to generating near-apocalyptic financial crises, there are few men quite as qualified as the former NY Fed and US Treasury head Tim Geithner. Which is why it is not at all unexpected that while he is drafting his tell all memoirs, which may or may not include details on why he leaked confidential market moving Fed information to Wall Street's banks, the TurboTax expert is set to take the university circuit by storm and teach young and impressionable minds about how not to do anything he did. As WSJ reports, "Former Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner plans to hit the university circuit in the coming months, conducting a series of seminars on financial crises. Mr. Geithner, who left the Obama administration last month after four eventful years at Treasury, should have unique insights on such crises. He was president of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York and then Treasury secretary during the 2008-2009 financial meltdown. Mr. Geithner has committed to seminars at Harvard University, the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Northwestern University, Princeton University and the University of Michigan." Surely, the future central planners of the world are already shaking with anticipation.

Mr. Geithner’s seminars, first reported by Politico, will focus on crisis prevention and crisis response, a spokeswoman said Wednesday. The goal is to create academic research that future policy makers and the public can use to better understand how and why governments act amid financial catastrophe.


The first seminar is planned for early March. Mr. Geithner plans to do a total of five to 10 over the course of the next year. More schools will be added. He won’t be paid for the seminars, the spokeswoman said.


The format is likely to be in smaller group roundtable, classroom or dinner sessions, the spokeswoman said.


Mr. Geithner, based in New York, earlier this month announced plans to write a book and join the Council on Foreign Relations as a distinguished fellow.


He’s also planning paid speeches as well as some engagements for nonprofit organizations and charities for no fee.

Perhaps it is not too late to petition that alongside Geithner, universities also demand that Bernie Madoff run parallel courses on the long-term viability of the US financial system and the fundamental "fair value" of the stock market, coupled with the occasional "client account sanctity" masterclass by one Jon Corzine.

After all, if reality has been fully LBOed by the Onion, one has to be fully invested for the Great Rotation into sheer full retardedness.

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Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:04 | 3282656 CH1
CH1's picture

Do these people not see that they are a joke?

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:10 | 3282689 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

NO, they don't because they are caught up in an illusionary existence.  Going on circuit "edumacating" is proof the guy has a serious ego problem, thinking that he has some knowledge to impart.

Now if Princeton or Harvard said they were welcoming a guest speaker who "formerly held political office and was found guilty of tax evasion", it would take on a bit of a different feel.


Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:11 | 3282695 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

Can wait to buy his book " how i *** raped america for my banker friends"

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:11 | 3282696 James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

This is a great public service, only thing that bugs me is when he used to educate average Americans on how to fuck up the world economy via meet the press it cost the taxpayers trillion$ -- he's doing these student seminars for free! 

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:23 | 3282748 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

With Guest Appearances by 

R. Glenn Hubbard & Frederic Mishkin
Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:32 | 3282770 Kitler
Kitler's picture

"Never in the field of human kleptocratic endeavour was so much stolen from so many by so few. Well done gentlemen."

~ Timothy Geithner at the 2008 Federal Reserve Awards Banquet.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:50 | 3282894 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

that pic makes me ill...those fuckin baked bean teeth.....

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 16:39 | 3282963 akak
akak's picture

And that macrocephalic Beavis forehead --- one could play ping-pong on it when he is lying down.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 19:11 | 3283632 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

Makes perfect sense ... It's like putting Bernanke, the expert on the Great Depression, in charge of running GD2.0.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:32 | 3282796 Lore
Lore's picture

Make a note of those schools and keep your children away.

Good minds who I respect hold Mr. Geithner in very low regard.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:35 | 3282808 RSBriggs
RSBriggs's picture

Ummm.  No.  He does NOT lecture for free  His rate for doing seminars is 50K per day plus expenses.  SOMEBODY is paying for them, if not the schools themselves, then someone else.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 16:41 | 3283112 optimator
optimator's picture

Timmy will pile up the profits, invest them, then take a Gov't job and sell so his profits aren't taxable.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:24 | 3282758 Bandit und Buster
Bandit und Buster's picture

But ... they have a PLAN. This is NOT JUST criminal...

Our leaders are not chosen for their intelligence or achievement but rather because they are able to win the peoples’ trust and are willing to betray it. They are chosen by a small satanic cult – cabalistic bankers and Freemasons – that controls the world’s finances and media. Our ‘leaders’ are junior members of this international cult, called the Order of the Illuminati.”  Henry Makow, Ph.D, “Illuminati – The cult That Hijacked the World”

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 16:28 | 3283072 Whiner
Whiner's picture

Dimon to Timmah: okay, Squirt Blossom, you're done. Get the f--k out. Here is a draft of your new ghost written book and a schedule of lectures with honoraria. Finally, here's the PIN to your Cayman Island account.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 17:00 | 3283197 venturen
venturen's picture

How to enrich banksters without getting paid....brillant! What an idiot! I hope he has a swiss bank account somewhere.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:17 | 3282722 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Trouble is the joke is on us.

The only public speaking this criminal should be doing is a farewell

speech from the gallows.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 16:19 | 3283023 optimator
optimator's picture

"long live Is...........gwablnek.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 16:47 | 3283139 Crash Overide
Crash Overide's picture

Timmy is throwing shit in our face and laughing.

I guess we get what we deserve not putting an end to all this in the first place and allowing this farce to continue.

I am sick and tired of all this, burn it all down.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:22 | 3282744 Vashta Nerada
Vashta Nerada's picture

If you are holding a seminar on how to cause a financial crisis, who better to run it than Geithner?

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:37 | 3282828 thisandthat
thisandthat's picture

What! I'm booking it already - my gold for and airplane ticket! :P

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:40 | 3282850 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Why the hell should they care if we think they're a joke? They're getting paid cash out the ass; they're laughing at us.

Whoever it was that said (paraphrasing), "nothing will change until one of these assholes catches a bullet in the brain pan" was exactly right.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:07 | 3282670 Inthemix96
Inthemix96's picture

I wouldnt let this zionistic cunt hold a dog lead.

Jeethner, we are coming son.  You are done son.  Even a private island wont keep you safe you fucking low IQ dwarf cunt.

BANK on it.

Fucking cunt

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:21 | 3282739 Inthemix96
Inthemix96's picture

Fucking hell 4 down.

Fuck you jeethner and you banker shits.

All you got eh?

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:32 | 3282798 eclectic syncretist
eclectic syncretist's picture

Timmah's looking a bit constipated in that pic, musta got his butt-plug stuck.

Thanks for the silver beat down today criminals, I got more on sale!

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:41 | 3282856 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

I gave you a +1 for "dwarf cunt."

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 16:43 | 3283119 Inthemix96
Inthemix96's picture

Come on then red flaggers.

Give me the reason this cunt deserves to live.

You are on a hiding to nothing you worthless cunts.  And so so is your mate jeethner.

Count on it.

Fucking cunts

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:08 | 3282682 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

These people need seminars to figure out that you can't "print" the very real resources required to make their bullshit eCONomic models works?  LMFAO!  

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:08 | 3282683 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 You could have posted this article before I ate lunch Tyler...

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 17:02 | 3283202 Crash Overide
Crash Overide's picture

You see that fucking picture of Corzine laying out at the beach?

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:08 | 3282685 drB
drB's picture

Will he lecture also about Turbotax use, or will he just stick to less complicated subject of crisis prevention?

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:19 | 3282728 waterhorse
waterhorse's picture

Turbo Tax for Tax Cheats?

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:28 | 3282781 Bandit und Buster
Bandit und Buster's picture

Looks like they collared a couple of white boy goys to make the sheeple think they'er cracking down.

Wake me when they get to some joos.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 16:19 | 3283018 CH1
CH1's picture

Wake me when they get to some joos.

Madoff wasn't Jewish enough for you?

Then again, it's not enough to kill one Jew, is it? You have to kill all of them. Right?

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:09 | 3282691 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Lol....that last line....man...I be jigglin'.............lololololol

Thanks for saving the day...Tyler.  With the possible exception of The Santelli, I cannot imagine anyone else delivering they way you do...on a surreal day like this.

And to think, both yesterday and today, The Bernankster quite literally told "the market" that there is no "market" anymore.  

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:21 | 3282737 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Yesterday, funds began selling to other stupid funds, and by the close, stupid funds were selling to algo funds.  And now today, with algo funds selling to stupid algo funds, we now, at this moment, shift into stupid algo funds selling to mentally retarded algo funds, who are quickly dumping it all hot potato style over to funds run by entirely lobotomized folks.

And all as Bernanke confesses, and the TBTF executes and arbitrages this nonsense against the background sound of Calliope music streaming from The BlowHorn [CNBC], the lackeys all talking like all of this is entirely normal.

All you can do is laugh.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:09 | 3282692 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

omg ;o;o;o;o lolololololol

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:11 | 3282697 Goggles Pisano
Goggles Pisano's picture

Seminar 1: How to cause a Financial Crisis.

Seminar 2: How to make it worse.

Seminar 3: How to use the MSM to con the Populace into thinking the Crisis has been Resolved

Seminar 4: Good countries to emigrate to when the SHTF

Seminar 5: Who to blame after the SHTF as a CFR Distinguished Fellow

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:38 | 3282835 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Slides #1 - #165 are simply the word "PRINT" in helvetica medium font, with a clipart "1st place badge" in the corner.

Appendix A is as follows: "*Print."

There will be a luncheon break for an hour - finger sandwiches, cookies, and  cans of coke - followed by a brief exhibit of an HP Stylus that can be used to print SDRs in a pinch.

Charts 1-17 are various colored configurations of the letters P, R, I, N, and D.  I'm sorry, T.




Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:12 | 3282701 youngandhealthy
youngandhealthy's picture

A typical comment from Tyler in the spirit of KKK, Tea Party and NRA. In Europe we just called those organizations with their right name, Nazists.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:20 | 3282730 waterhorse
waterhorse's picture

so you are a Geithner admirer?  Can you please explain what EXACTLY there is to admire about this man?

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:26 | 3282768 akak
akak's picture

A typical comment from a piece of statist eurotrash in the spirit of a Brussels burEaUcrat, Prime Minister Quisling and your average 'Christian Democrat'. On ZeroHedge we just called those people with their right name: sheep .

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:38 | 3282834 RSBriggs
RSBriggs's picture

Yet another liberal troll.  News for you dude, the KKK was run by liberal DEMOCRATS, and neither the Tea Party nor the NRA are Nazi organizations.  Nice projection there.... 

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:13 | 3282705 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

More likely he is just trying to lure the endowment directors at these universities into the clutches of the Squid... They control billions, and with ZIRP they need to find some creative ways to invest.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:14 | 3282709 astoriajoe
astoriajoe's picture

a seminar? like at The Learning Annex?

I can imagine it sandwiched between "how to make millions on ebay" and "learn to read the akashic record"

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:14 | 3282710 reader2010
reader2010's picture

Our wisdom is slavish prejudice, our customs consist in control, constraint, compulsion. Civilised man is born and dies a slave. The infant is bound up in swaddling clothes, the corpse is nailed down in his coffin. All his life long man is imprisoned by our institutions.

- Rousseau

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:46 | 3282879 Bandit und Buster
Bandit und Buster's picture


"What is the basis of Judaism? A practical passion and greed for profit. To what can we reduce his (the Jew's) religious worship? To extortion. What is his real God? Cash!" - Karl Marx, founder of Communism, quoted in the British Guardian, July-August, 1924.

There is no other agency of government that can over rule the actions that we take”. Alan Greenspan talking about the Federal Reserve private bank.



The best of the gentiles should be killed.”  The Talmud


“We are out to destroy the family. The best way to do  that is by attacking it’s weakest member, the unborn child.” Simone Weil, former Frenc health minister and Auschwitz survivor. (as quoted in Synagogue Rising by Hugh Akins)                                                                         


“MASONRY IS A Jewish institution, whose history, regulatilons, duties, ecommendations and explanations are Jewsih to the end. “  The Israelite: by Isaac Wise

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:15 | 3282711 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

Fuck You Geithner, I hope you die a horrible death filled with pain and long term suffering. And I get to watch

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:16 | 3282713 gimli
gimli's picture

Please get the dates, I need to pencil them in so I'm far enough away from the possible radioactive fallout.

Wed, 02/27/2013 - 15:17 | 3282718 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

And the two most popular questions from the audience will be:

1. Can you help me get a job

2. Can you advise me the best way to bail on my school loan.


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