Groupon CEO to Staff: "Today, I Was Fired" - Full Letter
Andrew Mason, the CEO of once fast-money favorite Groupon has been, umm, let go. With the shares trading 77% below their IPO price, dumping 25% today alone, the board has decided enough is enough. His witty letter to 'the People of Groupon' (in full below) starts, "After four and a half intense and wonderful years as CEO of Groupon, I’ve decided that I’d like to spend more time with my family. Just kidding – I was fired today. If you’re wondering why... you haven’t been paying attention." Shares popped 12% after-hours on the news (ouch), and of course in the whimsical land of the BLS this 'layoff' will be seasonally-adjusted into broad-based hiring in the tech sector.
Can you spot when news of his firing broke?
(This is for Groupon employees, but I’m posting it publicly since it will leak anyway)
People of Groupon,
After four and a half intense and wonderful years as CEO of Groupon, I’ve decided that I’d like to spend more time with my family. Just kidding – I was fired today. If you’re wondering why… you haven’t been paying attention. From controversial metrics in our S1 to our material weakness to two quarters of missing our own expectations and a stock price that’s hovering around one quarter of our listing price, the events of the last year and a half speak for themselves. As CEO, I am accountable.
You are doing amazing things at Groupon, and you deserve the outside world to give you a second chance. I’m getting in the way of that. A fresh CEO earns you that chance. The board is aligned behind the strategy we’ve shared over the last few months, and I’ve never seen you working together more effectively as a global company – it’s time to give Groupon a relief valve from the public noise.
For those who are concerned about me, please don’t be – I love Groupon, and I’m terribly proud of what we’ve created. I’m OK with having failed at this part of the journey. If Groupon was Battletoads, it would be like I made it all the way to the Terra Tubes without dying on my first ever play through. I am so lucky to have had the opportunity to take the company this far with all of you. I’ll now take some time to decompress (FYI I’m looking for a good fat camp to lose my Groupon 40, if anyone has a suggestion), and then maybe I’ll figure out how to channel this experience into something productive.
If there’s one piece of wisdom that this simple pilgrim would like to impart upon you: have the courage to start with the customer. My biggest regrets are the moments that I let a lack of data override my intuition on what’s best for our customers. This leadership change gives you some breathing room to break bad habits and deliver sustainable customer happiness – don’t waste the opportunity!
I will miss you terribly.
Love,
Andrew
(6 votes)
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I’ve decided that I’d like to spend more time with my family
MAN, I'M SICK OF THAT SAME OLD LAME ASS EXCUSE!
CAN'T THEY EVER BE CREATIVE?!?
Poor baby. Maybe he can be an order taker at pets.com.....
Merger mania, market rumors of all things smelling of desperation, leveraged buyouts, dividend payment increases, massive share buybacks, private equity financing purchases of boring and/or broken businesses and city block-loads of vacant houses, floundering performance of recently IPO'd Winners of The New World v2.0 companies - all floated and kept adrift on a literal sea of fresh fed fiat...
...almost all of these trends have marked each and every top before the epic "noone could've seen it coming" correction that wipes out a decade or more of gains (and if only nominal ones, at that).
SSDD.
These trends have also marked years of continuing growth or stagnation.
I hear what you're saying but an irrational market is an unreliable timing indicator.
Say what you will, but I give the guy some credit: He took the blame himself.
That doesn't happen much these days.
Agreed.
As CEO, I am accountable.
Accountable?
Accountability?
I don't get it. Is he Greek?
The letter is well crafted, but I wonder if his taking responsibility isn't disingenuous to the point of being glib. To my mind, the problem lies with a deeply distasteful business model. Groupon and all outfits like it can't dry up and blow away quickly enough to suit me. Anyway, what does that guy care? One presumes that he walks away with some tidy package of scrip, leaving another chump to hold the bag.
It was a pretty good letter. He seems like less of a douchebag than Ackman or Krugman.
Yes, I agree. The guy has balls. He realized he failed and said so. One day, we'll get a guy like that in the White House. Hey, I can dream can't I?
He sounds like a good and humble person.
But,
"He realized he failed..."
The concept failed within the artificial hoopla annointed it by too much false, greedy and desperate wealth chasing nothing it understands in the first place.
Probably not. Did he have a golden parachute?
Keep and eye on Marissa Mayer. This whole debacle of working at home has not done her PR well.
She'll get fired. Then be a paid shill at Fox Business then open up her own consulting shop a la Meredith Whitney.
Good citizens of Metropolis!
The sky is falling.
It's time to run to the hills.
http://www.angrysinner.blogspot.kr/2013/02/thursday_28.html
If the sky is falling, I'm running to the valley...people on the hills will get crushed first. Duhhhhh.
Did you not read past that?
Holy. Fucking. Dense...
It was sarcasm.
Tourette's bitchez.
boy who saw this coming as the IPO debacle of the century... nice of him to keep his sense of humor after no doubt good remuneration while destroying shareholder value.
p.s. downvoters wear their mother's soiled panties like a bain mask
It took 4.5 years to launch this guy?
Fire the board....
Fire the board??? More like, fire anyone who let this turd of a company actually go public. It was so fucking obvious that this company had NO FUTURE.
What does the future have to do with an IPO? We are in The Bernank Era now buckaroo........ahhhhhh, feels just like 1998/99 during The Green Beans Era.......
Apart from strong arming and ripping off small business owners.
After four and a half intense and wonderful years as CEO of Groupon, I’ve decided that I’d like to spend more time with my family. Just kidding – I was fired today.
#EPIC!
"People of Groupon???"
It's like he was going for a William Wallace "Sons of Scotland" type of thing, but it sounds retarded because GROUPON IS A FUCKING RETARDED NAME FOR A COMPANY.
Sounds like it should sell coupons for orgies or something.
After four and a half intense and wonderful years as CEO of Groupon, I’ve decided that I’d like to spend more time with my family. Just kidding – I hate my family.
BOSS: – I was fired today. If you’re wondering why... you haven’t been paying attention."..
EMPLOYEE: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU DUDE?! NEVER SEEN YA, DON'T KNOW YA!
The drop in the stock value couldn't have anything to do with a Wall Steet pump and dump scheme. I doubt a new CEO can help.
I think we are reaching the top of another tech bubble-has anyone seen all of the gaudy new HQs that companies like GOOG and APPL have in the works? AAPL's is downright fucking bizarre.
It's like replacing Greenspan by Bernanke. Will get worse anyway.
Techbubble bullshit outfit goes titsup.
Fuck me, I'm glad I was sitting down when that news broke.
he'll catch on with Living Social or some other ponzi
For those who are concerned about me, please don’t be...
I wasn't, and neither was anybody else. Go die asshole.
@buzzsaw99
WTF is "Battletoad"? This guy is obviously in over his head but, heh, he parlayed a really stupid idea into some serious exec comp and stock options. Of course, that's more an indictment of American business and culture circa 2013 than it is an indication of Andrew Mason's talents.
I'm guessing if he spent less time playing Battletoads and more time trying to figure out a profitable business model, we wouldn't be reading this letter.
Battletoads is reputed to be the hardest game on the Nintendo Entertainment System.
http://voices.yahoo.com/top-5-hardest-nes-games-7318664.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battletoads
"proud of what we created"-like giving US fatties 2 fer 1 coupons at Golden Corral. Hank Ford ya ain't.
i like how he mentioned battletoads
Gave just the right touch of geek levity to the letter. What a guy.
Dear Ex-CEO Guy,
Maybe if you were busy working instead of cracking jokes and playing battletoads with us peons things would have been different.
Sincerely,
Soon To Be Unemployed Worker
i will take my 20 million and run
leaving for palm springs monday
and will miss the free coffee
regards
Boss
Yup, and they all know it and so do we. Rough life.
It is the new Internet 2.0. Now they call victims "customers". Good for them.
@Temporalist
LOL. Pets.com called and said, "Been there, done that!"
I'm sorry there was no Twitter or Facebook to give "likes" to Pets.com so it never really existed.
Dear Bagholders,
I still am rich beyond the dreams of avarice, thanks to the IPO and getting to sell out at much, much higher prices. So if you're concerned about me, don't be.
Love,
Andrew
"I have decided to undertake {new job} so that I can spend less time with my family...they're all just horrible, soul-killing people...especially my lovely wife, Tiffany."
they left out the last part of the letter- "I'll miss you terribly and will be thinking of you when I leave Monday for Costa Rica to delvelop a serious coke addiction and bang as many teenage hookers as physically possible"
love,
Bobby
I like this guy - the wittol wascal has spiwit.
My daughters bf interviewed w/ Groupon a couple or so years ago. They treated him like shite. He now works for .gov and makes a lot of money.
We were once given a Groupon to eat at a nice restaurant (steak place). It was not much of a deal, as it turned out, and we had to order from a special menu.
I have NO sympathy for anyone at Groupon nor affection for their product.
- 1 to Groupon
This is a video of the Groupon CEO explaining your various purchasing options:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUQkbXWwJhQ