Thursday Humor: The Trader's 'Paper Clip' Helper

Tyler Durden's picture

As equity indices 'stabilize' ready for their CNBC-counted-down surge to new all-time highs and the holy grail of economic-growth-creating money-printing-fed inflationary-wealth-effect, we thought a blast from the past would 'help'...


(h/t @Not_Jim_Cramer)

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SemperFord's picture

Porn damn it, PORN! 

Careless Whisper's picture

The Careless Whisper Afternoon Financial News Update & Threadjacking


GoldmanSachs Going After Pension Funds In Chile; $150 Billion. "Actively Considering" A Boiler Room There

FLASHBACK VIDEO: David Rockefeller Told -- Leave Chile Now!





James_Cole's picture

Wow, paperclip has sure got a lot better than I remember. 

DJ Happy Ending's picture

A Google Glass app that could pop this up for all of life's misconceptions caused by propaganda might go a long way toward educating the sheeple on the true nature of their world.

onelight's picture

Maybe not -- perhaps Google Glass will simply end up being an everyone-a-spy tool, helping end the private citizen's ability to walk down the street without being on one hidden camera or another -- now everyone walking down the street will be a video camera, and to what end? Much perhaps most use of Glass will be innocuous, but a door is being opened to other undetectable opportunities for tyranny via mob. 

thisandthat's picture

Long sunglasses


...or niqabs :P

DJ Happy Ending's picture

You don't think independent developers will be able to write their own apps for Glass?

Generally tools like this benefit both sides--TPTB and the individual. For example, China uses the Internet to control people, ZH uses it to debunk propaganda.

onelight's picture

Good point you make -- the daily bell writes about the internet reformation in that vein -- let's hope it's a level-able playing field -- I just wonder how the brits fare with it -- in london they already have a million cameras...and too, what's to stop developers of video-jamming technology to jam the block when they walk down it, that would level the playing field -- an emp-like instant-privacy-creation tool -- guess those would be illegalized tho

The Alarmist's picture

Kill Clippy! Die! Die! Die!

A Nanny Moose's picture

"Free" apps? Complete with periodic commercials. Ugh!

Scro's picture

Screw google glass, get a wraptastic (it comes with rubber feet!)

TruthInSunshine's picture

P.A. Announcement at 33 Liberty: "Kevin Henry, please report to The Bernank's office."

AlaricBalth's picture

CNBC: Chewing gum for the eyes.

monad's picture

TV is electronic heroin, CNBC is a powerful psychedelic anesthetic programmed by professional asshattards. The irony is that the professional asshattards are addicted to their own junk.

Kill your TV

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

"Kill your TV"

I'm waiting for prices to go up before I sell.

Fish Gone Bad's picture

Now I have even more reasons to hate Clippy...

New_Meat's picture

used to type in "kill the fucking paperclip" and get instructions on how to turn it off.

bania's picture

"The irony is that the professional asshattards are addicted to their own junk."


Don't get high on your own supply.

azzhatter's picture

Agreed from an asshat. But you have to admit watching LIESman explain Bernanke while jizm is running down his cheeks is good entertainment

SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

For anyone who still watches or listens to the asshats on CNBC (myself included) a little dose of Mothers Little Helper to ease the pain

Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Don't bother killing your TV, the broken glass gets everywhere. Instead, simply disconnect your cable TV or satellite TV service. Keep the $100+ every month and STOP FEEDING THE BEAST.

Pareto's picture

asshattards +1, good one

Manthong's picture

e.  Just tell you to have another bite of your Soylent Green and take another sip of the Kool-Aid.

CaptainSpaulding's picture

<=== Search for best online porn sites

<=== I never watch porn


Toolshed's picture

Does no one get FREE porn from the newsgroups anymore? Most people don't seem to have ever heard of the newsgroups. Maybe it's better that way actually.

AnonymousCitizen's picture

The first rule of newsgroups is to not talk about newsgroups.

Fish Gone Bad's picture

At one time, all you had to do was type in "Britney Spears" in Google and you got a ton of porn hits. 

matrix2012's picture

one should go to torrent!

in the past and are also good places, dunno nowadays, stop being there long ago ;)

too much pron will cause brain damage!!!

francis_sawyer's picture

<== Paper Clips are in a bubble, let's advise our clients to BUY... [Lloyd Blankfein]

<== Let's see if we can create a "PAPER" market in Paper Clips... [Jamie Dimon]

Vincent Vega's picture

O/T but recently I've noticed that Bloomberg now has ZH articles as part of it's scrolling news. Not sure if I should congratulte ZH for being recognized or loathe Bloomberg <even more>....perhaps a bit of both are in order. Keep up the great work ZH.

IamtheREALmario's picture

Yes ... I have been noticing how "mainstream" ZH is getting. It posts articles around the clock, has lots and lots of sponsors and is being quoted and linked to by sic "other" mainstream sources. ZH has taken on that mainstream slick-type look and feel, just as Infowars and others have.

Seems like it might be time to move on and forget about ZH.

blu's picture

Dude you forgot the /sarc flag again.



I mean you did forget it right? Tell us all how this is just a big misunderstanding.

UnRealized Reality's picture

Well, the good news is you figured it out, the bad news is not everyone else has. ZH info is no different then the MSM and if people took time to get their head out of ZH and compare the two, they would realize it. They must get those clicks. Coming back here after 2 years made me realize why I left in the first place.

francis_sawyer's picture

So ~ It took you 23 weeks to figure out that you wanted to leave...


That puts your departure time around AUGUST 2010 [when QE1 was announced]... Were you worried that you'd stop receiving invitations to the Hampton's party circuit?

francis_sawyer's picture

[calculated opon your user profile]

blu's picture

You can worry when Tyler sits down with Oprah to talk about life/work balance and a possible book deal in the works.

Ineverslice's picture


Turn off CNBC.

blu's picture

Oh hey Tyler -- Microsoft is at the door. Something something and breaking your kneecaps. Should I tell them you are out? Yeah? 'Kay bro ...

azzhatter's picture

I always remember my dad before he passed away. My brother mentioned Jim Cramer and my dad said "Is that jackass still on TV?" "People aren't as smart as they used to be"

azzhatter's picture

This morning they were touting the "Becky and Warren get in the bath tub together show coming up"