Guest Post: Is There Oil In 'Kryzakhstan'? Ask John Kerry
Submitted by Jen Alic of OilPrice.com,
It wasn’t exactly a propitious start for new US Secretary of State John Kerry on his first foreign trip when he referred to “Kyrzakhstan”, where US diplomats are ostensibly working to secure “democratic institutions”.
Getting all those Central Asian “stans” right can be confusing—even more so when things get muddled in the “Great Game”. And it’s no easy thing following in the footsteps of Hillary Clinton.
Later—after the State Department took the liberty of omitting the mention of “Kyrzakhstan” from the official transcript—it became clear that Kerry was actually referring to Kyrgyzstan (not Kazakhstan and indeed not Kyrzakhstan).
So let’s look at these two countries that Kerry has inadvertently combined.
Kyrgyzstan is a landlocked country of 5.5 million people which has undergone revolution and reverse revolution since 2005 and “democratic institutions” are embryonic at best. It’s extremely poor and the recipient of massive amounts of US aid, thanks to its willingness to cooperate in the global war on terror. Kyrgyzstan is important to Washington because it’s also a staging ground for a US-Russian struggle to see who can gain the most influence over Bishkek.
Kazakhstan, on the other hand, is an oil-rich nuclear power that was oddly enough the choice of venue for P5+1 talks with Iran over the latter’s (not to be confused with the former’s) nuclear program.
Perhaps this added to Kerry’s confusion—indeed it is some heavy symbolism that had some asking why dictatorial Kazakhstan is allowed to have a nuclear program, while Iran is not. In the 1990s, this former Soviet Republic won praise for relinquishing a massive nuclear stockpile (more than a thousand strategic nuclear warheads and 370 nuclear-tipped cruise missiles) in the name of nonproliferation. Washington was hoping Tehran would recall this and take note of the message—though the message remains somewhat unclear as Iran does not have nuclear weapons. The message was further muddled by earlier suspicions that Kazakhstan may have actually been “proliferating” to Iran.
Now Kazakhstan is hoping to make some cash by becoming a “host” for nuclear reactor fuel so that countries (like Iran) wouldn’t have to enrich uranium themselves. Of course, one might also ask whether we want Kazakhstan to serve as a nuclear reactor fuel bank.
On the nuclear front, no one is quite convinced that Kazakhstan should be a nuclear power. It’s not exactly a beacon of democracy, either. Its leader Nursultan Nazarbayev can only very loosely be said to have been democratically elected, and he is continually propped up by Western governments and oil interests.
He is referred to fondly as the “Sultan of the Steppes” and is almost as colorful as the late Turkmenbashi (the revered “father” of Turkmenistan whose cult of personality was unrivaled even by the likes of North Korea’s late Kim Jong-il). While the Turkmenbashi even went as far as to change the names of the months to concepts that reflected his love for his mother, the Sultan of the Steppes creates holidays in honor of himself and sets himself up as the lead character in fairy tale plays and movies for the nation to enjoy.
He is not only tolerated but courted heavily because of the country’s oil wealth. US investors have a major stake in its Kashagan field, which has around 5.4 trillion tons of oil and 1.7 trillion tons recoverable—not to mention a handful of other major fields with oil, condensate and natural gas reserves.
In late October, the US and Kazakhstan signed a Joint Action Plan to promote cooperation in nuclear security and nuclear power, hydrocarbon resources, renewable energy, energy efficiency and electric power. Underpinning this US-Kazakh relationship are pipeline plans. The US is hoping that Kazakhstan will channel all its oil and gas exports through Turkey (as opposed to Iran). But Kazakhstan has many interests—and they include burgeoning relations with China (which is particularly gunning for the country’s uranium deposits) and efforts to ensure Russia that all is well between Moscow and Astana, too.
And then we have Kyrgyzstan, which pales by comparison and would probably benefit from being lumped together in a contrived country of “Kyrzakhstan”. It has a bit of oil and gas, and a bit of gold, but overall relies on imports to most of its energy needs. On the border with China, and part of Russia’s old Soviet backyard—as well as a transit point for stuff going in and out of Afghanistan for NATO—it has some strategic importance. But a lack of Western effort here to prop up any single leadership figure has meant that the country is languishing without an effective government since the short-lived “Tulip Revolution” in 2005, which ousted president Askar Akayev. No one rushed to help him because he doesn’t have oil wealth to back him up. Widespread poverty and north-south ethnic divisions keep the violence simmering.
Kerry is in the middle of a European/Middle East tour right now. We’ll see what other countries he manages to contrive.
(13 votes)
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I'm sure East Coast Elite Kerry loves having to break bread with these Steppes Trash.
Still, he is pretty smart for a horse.
smart enough to marry big money
They met at a coven get together.
More on the "-stans": http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=AARtO88G5Ag
The fictional novel Absurdistan comes really close to capturing the true beauty of this corner of the globe.
Are there any service medals for stapler or paper cut injuries in the line of duty in the State Department?
Kerry has probably qualified for at least three by now.
+1. Thx for keeping it real.
Haa ha all the low hanging fruit is gone. CIA now pissing in Russia's back yard. This will get interesting. I reckon the carrier fleet must be in port to get wheels fitted, these new oppressed States of interest are very much landlocked.
Cruise missiles don't need wheels.
Little known story is that John Kerry and Camilla Parker Bowles had a love child some years ago..
The offspring had a short gig in TV but went to work for Taco Bell and hasn’t been heard from since.
http://i.imgur.com/vpKZjyV.jpg
John Kerry - the only person dumber than Joe Biden to hold a seat in the U.S. Senate.
FUCK YOU, JOHN KERRY, YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT.
I hope someone murders your dumbass on one of your unwelcome visits.
Of course there are! He'd probably rate the "Purple Cross", he's too senior for the "Purple Owie".
- Ned
Ketchup and horsemeat. Not my kind of chow. Scull & bones makes for crappy stock.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUjVaaT60qY
Becky Beckystan.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5pOy2cNkQY
now, that's some funny shit...... ha
all I could get was this stupid job as a spammer: http://vimeo.com/15056028
I'm not sure , but there's poppies and dead civilians in Ass-ramistan, if that helps.
Watta douchebag......how far can we fall?
All this would have gone without an incident if only the Krazystan gave us all OUR oil back that we hid in their basement and willingly submitted to DemocracyTM
we're gonna drink all their milkshake
John F'n Kerry.
Just call him 'Stan.
Fuck this Lurch Looking mother fucker and his stupid fucking lurch looking motherfucking horse he rode in on.
Soup..., is that you?
How is he with Rothschildistan?
They bear a great message of cultural learning
Kerry is good at confusion. He managed to confuse the voters of Mass. so much that they thought this upper crust French Joo was a Irish Roman Catholic. Nice trick.
Ted Kennedy. Barney Frank. Elisabeth fauxcahontas Warren. Seeing any pattern? Also, the beta release of Obamacare.
Referred to as taxachussets. Expatriated former residents called "massholes" in their new homes.
I hope I live long enough to see this stupid fucking place go up in flames. John motherfucking Kerry is our Sec State now? What THE fuck? Please, mother nature, put this stupid fucking cuntry out of its stupid fucking misery.
Ive been drinking.
You are on a roll. Have another drink.
Welcome all to the ZH after hours club.
Adlai Stevenson once said, A diplomat's life is made up of three ingredients, protocol, Geritol and alcohol. Perhaps Kerry had too much of the last one
Case study in Chronic Botix Overdose.
Kerry would've first had to be intelligent before he could later suffer from alcoholic retardation. No, that's not his diagnosis. I'd say he's more likely afflicted with inbred retardation; terminally stupid from birth in any case.
The latest knight to sally forth from the CFR Grand Inepitudium.
It's OK. I may have to take it up again myself.
Amazing how TPTB under the puppet, Skeeter, have turned the country upside down so quickly.
And didn't we invade Kardashianistan already?
John Kerry will barter ketchup for International Democracy. Similar to, ‘ Ankara is now considering an Iranian bid to exchange oil for Turkish ships and coast guard boats’.
/sarc
I'm sure America's stock in the rest of the world is on the rise now! Confidence inspiring, I must say!
It's true that Sec Kerry was not the best geography student; rumor is that his teacher passed him merely to save herself from having to listen to the little bastard anymore.
Ease up. He graduated with a 3.22 grade point average.
And I'm sure whomever took those tests was a model student.
He was in the same class as Al Gore, where Al had the pangaea epiphany, discovered the internet and created wind all in one afternoon before tipping John gave birth to the upside-down fetus sea.
I create wind every day. Can i be a world leader?
John Kerry was an experiment for improving student performance. Let no child behind flourished.
really? I heard it was a Findus equine genetics experiment that went horribly wrong ... something about a talking horse ... or was that a stalking-horse?
1.7 Trillion Ton of oil seems like too much. A ton has about 5 barrels in it. So 1.7 Trillion Ton is about 8.5 Trillion barrels. Which is about the entire worlds consumption for 260 years. I think you must mean 1.7 Billion Tons.
You noticed that too, eh....
And as far as the nukes go, it is remarkable what gets left laying around when a super power undergoes catabolic collapse....
Kashagan is also the last great "onshore" oil field found, pity it is laced with H2S at lethal concentrations....