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Lost In Translation: Ben Bernanke-Speak

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Submitted by Simon Black of Sovereign Man blog,

I really hate to beat a dead horse, but I wouldn’t be doing my job for you if I didn’t point out some of the most intellectually dishonest, self-aggrandizing Bernanke-speak to come out of the Fed Chairman’s testimony [this week]:

  1. “[The Federal Reserve has] 25 years of success in keeping inflation low and stable, not just in the United States but around the world.”

    Translation: “I have not set foot in a grocery store or gas station in decades.”

  2. “Our estimates are that we’ve helped create many private sector jobs, government jobs to support the economy quite significantly.”

    Translation: “In my sole discretion where I get to completely ignore all data points I don’t like, I am doing a heck of a job.”

  3. “I am very much in favor of getting our fiscal house in order but I think it’s a long run issue and I would be supportive of a less front-loaded set of measures.”

    Translation: “Feel free to continue kicking the can down the road.”

  4. “The best way to get interest rates up is to not raise them too quickly.”

    Translation: “No matter what, I’m going to continue printing money and justify it with puzzling drivel.”

  5. “I don’t see any sign that that’s happening (the U.S. dollar losing status as world’s reserve currency).”

    Translation: “I pay absolutely no attention to what’s going on in Russia, China, the Middle East, or the gold market.”

  6. “[S]avers have many hats. They may own fixed income instruments, like bonds, but they also may own stocks or a house or a business. . . And those values have gone up, the stock market has roughly doubled, as you know, in the past few years.”

    Translation: “In order to not get eaten alive by inflation, I will force responsible savers to assume unnecessary risks in an overinflated stock market that has just now, finally, reached its nominal highs from 2007 thanks to my money printing.”

I know this goes without saying, but entrusting this man with your life savings is a dangerous course of action. I strongly urge you to consider diversifying into precious metals, productive farmland, or even a digital currency like Bitcoin.

After all, you know the old saying – it’s time to be very concerned when the politicians and bureaucrats tell you to not be concerned.

 

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Fri, 03/01/2013 - 17:54 | 3291773 Coldsun
Coldsun's picture

“I am very much in favor of getting our fiscal house in order but I think it’s a long run issue and I would be supportive of a less front-loaded set of measures.”

Translation: “By the time this shit blows up, I'll be long gone and rich from the general population's ignorance bitches.”

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 17:57 | 3291781 SafelyGraze
Fri, 03/01/2013 - 18:19 | 3291843 tickhound
tickhound's picture

Most religions speak in this code full of vague BULLSHIT.  Otherwise it'd be something else other than religion.  We INSIST on this type of talk from our Messengers of the Gods.

PONZI sits atop his mayan temple proclaiming MORE monuments are the answer.  Do it faster to please the gods.  He has become the MOST POWERFUL GOD OF ALL TIME.  He givith SUNDAY for any midget God we worship, but MONDAY thru FRIDAY are to be DEDICATED TO HIM.

Then all the PONZI Priests spread like plague to regurgitate the message, and we worship them... We give them immunity from all worries.  We excuse them from guilt.  We shower them with gifts.  Guilt is the burden left for us... So we blame ourselves for the table scraps. 

Failures of PONZI are ALWAYS our own.  Our moments of weakness and lack of faith in the PONZI ORDER become rational excuses for periods of drought.

PONZI provides guidance to all Humanity through the good word.... So we shower him with rose petals and await his next public appearance.

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 19:15 | 3291997 Sparkey
Sparkey's picture

God bless you Brother Tickhound, for the message, it brought tears to my eyes and a new resolve to trust and obey my betters, may the spice ever flow.

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 19:00 | 3291954 clara-to-market
clara-to-market's picture

Ben Bernanke is a global sex symbol.

You should see him in a thong.  Sweeeeeet!

You folks are just jealous.

http://angrysinner.blogspot.kr/2013/03/yesterday-dragon-lady-served-burger.html

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 19:11 | 3291983 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Gave up smoking and drinking?

Dayumn.

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 17:58 | 3291783 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Welcome to last days of the Bernanka Republic.

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 18:28 | 3291870 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Hey, take me witch ya.

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 18:03 | 3291794 q99x2
q99x2's picture

I wouldn't be reading these posts if I had enough money to rustle me up some farmlands.

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 18:43 | 3291918 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

He wouldn't be writing them either if he did

Sat, 03/02/2013 - 03:59 | 3292971 Popo
Popo's picture

Simon Black preaching about "dishonesty".  LOL.

 

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 18:05 | 3291795 Relentless
Relentless's picture

[All of it]

Translation: "I can do what I want, when I want and how I want because my brain's so big it dwarf's the lot of you. My God, you peasants are lucky I'm even here talking to you! Now stop questioning your betters and get back to whatever it is you do."

Adds a regal wave.

 

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 18:09 | 3291810 Charles Wilson
Charles Wilson's picture

“Slavers have many hats. They may own you as fixed income instruments, like bonds, but they also may own you as stocks or a house or a business. . . And those values have gone up, the stock market has roughly doubled, as you know, in the past few years, whereas your value as slaves has generally gone down.”

Back to work, Proles...

Fixed it...

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 23:48 | 3292617 Crash Overide
Crash Overide's picture

Keep Calm And Slave On...

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 18:09 | 3291811 TrustWho
TrustWho's picture

This is my view of Bernanke's report to Congress....

The stock market has a significant fuel...THE FED. You asked congress, sarcastically, "What do you want me to do, raise interest rates?"  

I will answer. "Yes, raise interest rates because you are violating the Laws of Prudence and Economy. The Fed oversteps its principles in an effort to save the world. Your effort to save the world has destroyed the markets. Your destruction of the markets saved the wealthy and harmed the common men who are led by a leaderless government you aided to stay in power with your low interest rate policy. The real damages caused by many but significantly caused and aided by the Fed wait for us.” I know your retort: “You slap the face of the only entity that can save you from your worst nightmare”.  

The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Today with a government executing a policy that reduces GNP 0.6, the stock market rises. January 1 the government increases tax rates that CBO estimates will impact the economy negatively by 0.9 percentage points, and S&P 500 rises over 6%.   A good example of the UNintended consequences is the introduction of alien species such as the Asian carp, which may become a nuisance due to unexpected proliferation and behaviour (wikipedia). The Fed has thrown the sink at this economy and your results are unbelievably below your forecast. You have two choices: 1) keep throwing the sink or 2) wean the infant from the breast milk.

The release of the minutes tested the hypothesis and the current path will lead to doom because the legislative and executive branches have no reason to deal with the problems when they have an unelected arm of the banks to execute a fiscal policy called QE.

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 18:10 | 3291817 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Buy precious metals... Got it.

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 19:04 | 3291962 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

+ 1

Yes, the easiest defense is physical gold and silver.

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 21:02 | 3292229 Boston
Boston's picture

It's so simple isn't it?

What's so hard to understand about the fact that the LAST thing Bernanke, or any central bank in the world, wants you to do is to reject their shitty pieces of paper by converting them into gold?

Be your own central bank. Buy gold.

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 18:13 | 3291824 percolator
percolator's picture

God how I'd love to waterboard Helicopter Ben!

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 18:45 | 3291926 Mark123
Mark123's picture

Keep in mind...he is the guy paid by the real assholes to handle PR for them.  Not that he shouldn't be waterboarded, but there are others more deserving.

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 19:26 | 3292037 Bandit und Buster
Bandit und Buster's picture

"Keep in mind...he is the guy paid by the real assholes to handle PR for them"  Well said!

As a 'percieved' leader by the masses, take note:

Our leaders are not chosen for their intelligence or achievement but rather because they are able to win the peoples’ trust and are willing to betray it. They are chosen by a small satanic cult – cabalistic bankers and Freemasons – that controls the world’s finances and media. Our ‘leaders’ are junior members of this international cult, called the Order of the Illuminati.”  Henry Makow, Ph.D, “Illuminati – The cult That Hijacked the World”

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 18:13 | 3291826 1835jackson
1835jackson's picture

Tune in next week for another exciting episode of our total farce of an economy brought to you by Bankster Enterprises where the rich get rich and the poor get fucked in the ass. Addtional support provided by ignorance in media group- never let a good lie go to waste.

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 18:13 | 3291827 Ham-bone
Ham-bone's picture

Translation - It is what it is because I say it is.  I also define what is is.  And by this definition, I'm doing a heckuva job.

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 18:23 | 3291854 max2205
max2205's picture

Slavers....LOL!

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 18:30 | 3291877 JR
JR's picture

Economic Headlines today (these from Drudge):

Incomes Drop Most in 20 Years... Money left over after taxes biggest plunge since 1959

Britain Slides Toward New Recession

Eurozone Jobless Hits Another Record: Italy Hits 21-year High 26.2

Bloomberg: Don’t Panic, USA Has ‘Infinite Amount of Money’…

President’s Plan: $1 Trillion in New Taxes…

Chicagoland: New Tax Puts Cigarettes at $11 a Pack

California Votes to Raise Tax on Gas

Soaring Property Tax Assessments Startle Homeowners

Meanwhile, Chairman Bernanke says, I have been doing a very good job. That says it all; this man is doing his job. The problem is it’s not a job for us, it’s for his masters.

Has Bernanke delivered or what?

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 19:06 | 3291967 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

BUY cigarettes in NC.

SELL cigarettes in Chicago.

Don´t get caught.

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 19:29 | 3292051 Bandit und Buster
Bandit und Buster's picture

+10000000

Our leaders are not chosen for their intelligence or achievement but rather because they are able to win the peoples’ trust and are willing to betray it. They are chosen by a small satanic cult – cabalistic bankers and Freemasons – that controls the world’s finances and media. Our ‘leaders’ are junior members of this international cult, called the Order of the Illuminati.”  Henry Makow, Ph.D, “Illuminati – The cult That Hijacked the World”

 

Bernanake delivers for his bosses!

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 18:31 | 3291883 elwu
elwu's picture

“I am very much in favor of getting our fiscal house in order but I think it’s a long run issue and I would be supportive of a less front-loaded set of measures.”

Would somebody pls. teach this guy the basics of project management?

For a start: what *exactly* is the resulting product, and when *exactly* will it be reached, costing *exactly* how much?

Of course, no large project will deliver any of these three metrics exactly.

But at the start of any project you must set concrete targets (s.m.a.r.t, I know...)

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 18:41 | 3291912 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Translation:

I have no fucking idea what I'm doing. Thank God they tell me what to say. Now can I puleeze go back to grading papers.*

 

*Nobody asks me hard questions there.

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 18:42 | 3291916 geewhiz
geewhiz's picture

Leave the rich man alone, he's just doing his job. Making our chosen masters richer (chosen for us by higher authority) by giving them our money and softening us up in preparation for the arrival of our king. Now go home, remain stupid, and shaddup.

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 18:46 | 3291925 Jackagain
Jackagain's picture

Talk about a crock of Bernanke....someone should tell this spawn of Satan that since the Fed took over the Dollar in 1913, it's dropped 96% in value.

 

But of course he knows all that....

 

 

 

 

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 18:50 | 3291934 Mark123
Mark123's picture

No kidding...that is a measure of the Feds success!  Only 4% left to go Ben....soldier on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 18:49 | 3291933 Mark123
Mark123's picture

I guess we should have read the fine print back in 1913 when the Fed was created.

 

I wonder if President Wilson enjoyed the hookers they provided in return for his support.

 

 

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 22:58 | 3292464 r3phl0x
r3phl0x's picture

Control a few beautiful women in a nation's capital, and you can eventually control its wealth.

Sat, 03/02/2013 - 14:57 | 3293738 Babushka
Babushka's picture

control a few beautiful women....hehe...mission impossible!

one is difficult enough but a few...?

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 19:04 | 3291961 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"Rising food and energy prices are not inflation, they are an incentive to invest in a diversified equity portfolio of crony capitalist organizations that can be vaporized overnight and in Treasury bonds which pay you next to nothing but allow me to continue this Ponzi."

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 19:08 | 3291971 socalbeach
socalbeach's picture

Regarding point #4, I think Bernanke is making a distinction between an exogenous rise in interest rates vs an endogenous rise in interest rates.  So by keeping interest rates artifically suppressed, according to his logic, that will cause an exogenous rise in interest rates due to increased demand for loans and economic expansion.  Per Hussman's formulas and graphs, an exogenous rise in interest rates will cause price inflation. Perhaps John Hussman explained it better:

'Last week, my friend John Mauldin reprinted our April 11 market comment Charles Plosser and the 50% Contraction in the Fed's Balance Sheet . John told me that he had received several nearly identical questions, along the lines of "Wait, now I'm confused - I thought that the Fed reduces inflation pressures by raising interest rates. Why would higher interest rates trigger inflation?"

So, this is where that phrase "external upward pressure" comes in. We have to distinguish between what economists would call an "endogenous" increase in interest rates - one that the Fed itself provokes by reducing the monetary base - and an "exogenous" increase in interest rates - one that is produced by changes in the behavior of investors and the economy, independent of actions by the Fed.

See, when the Fed decides to raise interest rates, it does so by reducing (or slowing the growth) of the monetary base, which can reasonably be viewed as an "anti-inflationary" policy. However, if interest rates rise independent of any change in the monetary base, then cash - which doesn't bear interest - becomes a "hot potato" that is suddenly less desirable. Somehow, the excess cash has to be "absorbed" in the sense that someone becomes willing to hold it despite the higher interest rates. Unless real output expands sufficiently to absorb that cash, you get one of two alternative outcomes: people holding cash may bid up Treasury bills, lowering short-term interest rates to the point where people are again indifferent between cash and non-cash alternatives, or failing that, the attempt to get rid of cash holdings in other ways provokes inflation and a depreciation in the foreign exchange value of the dollar (which was the outcome in the 1970's)...'

 

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 19:17 | 3291998 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

What is the difference between an exogenous and an endogenous beheading?

Imagine if the FED was not fucking around with the money supply and rates; millions of individuals within the economy would determine what they are willing to pay or invest in, instead of having vampire squid money-changers as middlemen who rob and steal from every transaction - coming and going.

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 19:18 | 3292011 venturen
venturen's picture

#7 I AM DOING GOD'S WORK!!!

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 19:33 | 3292063 Bandit und Buster
Bandit und Buster's picture

#7 I AM DOING GOD'S WORK!!!

DEFINE 'GOD'....

“Most Jews do not like to admit it, but our god is Lucifer   -so I wasn’t lying. -and we are his chosen people.  Lucifer is very much alive.”    The above is an exact quote of Harold Wallace Rosenthal, former top administrative Aide to the then Senator Jacob Javits, who was since defeated in the 1980 election.

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 19:20 | 3292016 Bandit und Buster
Bandit und Buster's picture

"We can do what I want to rob you f***kers and you can't stop me! Nanny nanny boo hoo! Becasue WE own CONgress! "

Or to put it in a little more diplomatic phrasing by another jew Greenspan:

“There is no other agency of government that can over rule the actions that we take”. Alan Greenspan talking about the Federal Reserve private bank.


"Every time we do something you tell me America will do this and will do that... I want to tell you something very clear: Don't worry about American pressure on Israel. We, the Jewish people, control America, and the Americans know it." -- Israeli Prime Minister, Ariel Sharon, October 3, 2001

 

See also: www.synagoguerising.com

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 19:43 | 3292083 Sparkey
Sparkey's picture

Poor Benny, he was born to this, without doubt groomed for, and expected to be, an `Important`, person, an expectation he has fulfilled, to the degree thay you can be "important" and imagine yourself as such, requires tremendous energy to sustain In a World where everything is ephemeral, even life it's self, What must Benny sacrifice to the God of Success and Importance as he plays his `important` person role on a stage that all the World can see?

We can only speculate about the World as seen through another's eyes but I've really often wondered if they might not long for the simplicity of the Factory hands life, with the comradeship of the workers, perhaps a chance to `pass the hand` so to speak with your best friend's Sister and then Marry her next year, stuff like that!

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 19:59 | 3292120 WhiteNight123129
WhiteNight123129's picture

To Sum it up:

The Fed is a government bank. It prints green bills, the gives it to Gov in exchange for nothing, the Gov spends and gives it to its friends. The other guys are slaves.

 

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 20:37 | 3292182 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

Treasury> FED-- )Bernan ke. ( explosion)...

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 21:33 | 3292293 jmc8888
jmc8888's picture

The funny thing is not one of them dared bring up Glass-Steagall, but Genocide Ben brought it up, and then proceeded to say it wouldn't of mattered as the crisis wouldn't of been prevented by it......except for the FACT that with it in place it would have been illegal for the very instruments that crashed would have been illegal to be owned by any deposit taking institution with FDIC backing.   AKA all banks with a commercial arm, including the TBTF monstrosities that are composed of commercial, insurance, and securities arms.

THAT got lost in the translation.  Not only did no one asking questions bring it up, but Bernanke did, and outright lied.

If no commercial lending or deposits are risked, why is there a need for a bank bailout? Ever?

Glass-Steagall

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 23:11 | 3292504 Ned Zeppelin
Ned Zeppelin's picture

Ron Rubin brought you the notion that Glass Steagall had to go.  Put him on the list.

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 22:00 | 3292354 pashley1411
pashley1411's picture

Just to reiterate what others have said, the economics profession's ability to describe the economy is close to, but not quite up to, a 13th century medival alchemists's understanding of chemistry and the creation of gold.

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 22:04 | 3292361 akak
akak's picture

On the contrary!

Central banksters have evidently finally discovered the long-sought Philosopher's Stone, enabling them to turn gold (and silver) into lead.

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 23:01 | 3292474 r3phl0x
r3phl0x's picture

And tungsten into gold...

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 22:37 | 3292431 WTFUD
WTFUD's picture

Comrades comrades lend me your tears.
There's nothing going on but the rent. And very soon the rent cannot be paid! Before we suckers wise up Benny pre booked 4 1st class seats on Richard Bransons first space shuttle, Uranus is bleeding gold and he return to a heros welcome.
Unfortunately Bransons pilot lands on Pluto tungsten rich.
Ben(dOver) " i have a cunning plan ".

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 23:15 | 3292517 Hedgetard55
Hedgetard55's picture

I can't describe what Satan has in store for Ben in Hell lest I be banned forever.

Sat, 03/02/2013 - 03:43 | 3292960 dunce
dunce's picture

One of his fact free assertions in particular causes me to gag, "created private sector, government jobs" What were the private sector jobs and how many exactly? Govrnment jobs are a cost, not a benefit.

Sat, 03/02/2013 - 05:15 | 3293022 TraderTimm
TraderTimm's picture

Thanks for the bitcoin nod, but Simon... I have to take you to task for the stories you spin. International man of mystery eh? It was cute in the beginning, but the shine has worn off.

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