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In China Clean Air Sells At $0.80 Per Breath
With now daily reports that the smog levels in Beijing are frequently literally "off the charts", it was only a matter of time before some aspiring Chinese entrepreneur decided to provide a much demanded product: clean air. As expected, Xinhua reports that "philanthropist" Chen Guangbiao is now actively selling canned air to willing and eager Beijingites, tired of inhaling toxic, carcinogenic smog particles. The cost: $0.80 for a can of fresh air.
Xiamen University adds:
Chinese billionaire and controversial philanthropist Chen Guangbiao has unveiled his latest invention, canned fresh air, under his registered trademark “Good Person Chen Guangbiao.”
Each can retails for between 4 yuan and 5 yuan (around $0.80).
He has produced 100,000 cans, containing the fresh air collected from Wuhe county in Anhui province and Taiwan.
He also said he is willing to donate profits from selling organic food to the People’s Liberation Army to safeguard China’s sovereignty over the Diaoyu Islands.
So the next time someone asks what it takes to make one a controversial, billionaire "philanthropist" the answer is simple - selling empty cans to idiots for $0.80 a pop. And tangentially, we dread to learn just what passes for "organic food" in China...
The good news is that, at least for now, the cans of hot air will contain no horse meat.
The better news is that the US (and French, and other insolvent "egalitarian" states) administrations haven't figured out how to tax said purchase of nothing.
Yet.
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We used to scoff at buying drinking water.
Chen Guangbiao's English name is P.T. Barnum.
Wait, did they finnaly dub "Spaceballs" into Chinese? This is a 30 year old gag...Pure-E-Air or something like that...
China will kill off its masses without going to war with another country. Carcinogens and pollutants will strip away the stamina of its population. That's its destiny.
It looks sustainable enough to me, compared to all those buildings no one lives at.
I see you're using the sun - S. Martin
Leverse lengenered flum Rankee Ros Hangres kreen hair.
Selling a lie.. what a concept.
I hope our government and the banks don’t ever get on to this.
Funny...he doesn't look Druish
This guy must have just got done watching the Lorax.
Make me laugh. Typical US 'american' citizenism throating of mind response.
Chen Guangbiao is a parangong of Communist 'chinese' citizenism entrepeneurialisticalness.
Blobbing-up and marketizing of clean air to Communist 'chinese' citizens in massively polluted Communist 'chinese' cities whose air is contaminated with pollutants and carcinogens showing superiority of minding ideas into things above all non-'chinese' foreign devils.
Suggestion is when in Beijing, do not breath as the Beijingers do.
Crapping on roadsides, though, is Communist 'chinese' citizenism doody.
Waiter, another order of Kitten McNuggets please.
I wonder how the knockoffs of "Breath of Fresh Air" smell/taste/feel. You know someone's canning Beijing air and selling it as a cheap knockoff.
They'll smell like farts. But still an improvement over Beijing air.
Yeah canned in Druidia.
Makes you wonder how much he paid for the can...
Perrie-air
He didn't build that.
56% air is really mislabeled non-air air.
Next up, canned sunshine from Fukushima Daiichi.
Oh wait, that's free.
Some of us still do.
So when does this marketeer realize the "Weight Loss" angle of canned air? Breath as many cans as you want with Zero Risk of weight gain!!!
Should appeal to alot of Muppets.
Its also gluten free with no hydrogenated vegetable oils!
I still do. I live Above the Crystal Geyser bottled water plant. They bottle my run off. Cheers
Didn't Mel Brooks cover this already in Spaceballs?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SiabeNR_q0U
Nothing like pure Druidian air
He doesn't look Druish.
I wonder what the Chinese legal definition of "fresh" air is from a commercial claim perspective. My intuition tells me it meets government guidelines of less than 100 000 ppm Pb, 1000 ppm F, 50 000 ppm VOCs...you know...government "safety" regulations. Aluminum can? Where exactly does his air come from? Taiwan. LMFAO. I bet he's trying not to laugh in his promotional videos, thinking of all the peons trying to suck the "fresh" Taiwanese air out of his Chinese aluminum cans.
Thank you billionaire philanthropist.
"Didn't Mel Brooks cover this already in Spaceballs?"
No Chinese knockoff of Spacebawl.....Is master stroke Communist Chinese breakthrough, American citizenism!
That is the smell of a copyright-claim.
Since it's China, I'm going to say there is literally nothing in that can but what you believe is in the can until it's found to be cancerous in someway. The media will call to ban placebos everywhere the next day, sugar markets crash on the news.
This is China...
Otherwise Mel Brooks nailed that shit though and I've got the mood on to watch Spaceballs.
Save money, buy the 2 litre bottle.
Or a keg.
not as long a Mayor Bloomberg is on the job.
Beautiful. They can't run a genetic profile on air, oily anal discharge or not.
"The good news is that, at least for now, the cans of hot air will contain no horse meat."
~~~
They bottled the air at the racetrack stables... There's HORSE in there...
if they really bottled air ... that is ...
but hey who am i to doubt it?
built it and they will come ...
I wanna inspect the air vault, to see if its really there or if this is all just hot air
Bitchez
OK ~ I was waiting... waiting... for someone to come up and take the glory... But I guess I'll have to say it...
~~~
Tounge punch my fartbox for your free can of air... [which is my entry for the foto caption above]...
Sounds like a gas.
It is just paper air.
If you can't hold it, you don't own it.
lol
There is a good chance that these cans do not only contain fresh air but they may smell a little like horse. They just need to add that on the list of ingrediences.
Tuna
Flesh tuna flarts
Have they found any traces of horse DNA in it?
If this guy really wants to cut the cost and help the environment he should make the containers out of styrofoam or PVC.
Question: would a 17 ounce can of air be legal in Bloomturd's New York?
"The better news is that the US (and French, and other insolvent "egalitarian" states) administrations haven't figured out how to tax said purchase of nothing."
Oh, they got it figgered out...they just gotta tie it to starving children or the need for "government investment" or some other such claptrap.
Let me tell you how it will be
There's one for you, nineteen for me
'Cause I'm the taxman, yeah, I'm the taxman
Should five per cent appear too small
Be thankful I don't take it all
'Cause I'm the taxman, yeah I'm the taxman
If you drive a car, I'll tax the street,
If you try to sit, I'll tax your seat.
If you get too cold I'll tax the heat,
If you take a walk, I'll tax your feet.
Don't ask me what I want it for
If you don't want to pay some more
'Cause I'm the taxman, yeah, I'm the taxman
Now my advice for those who die
Declare the pennies on your eyes
'Cause I'm the taxman, yeah, I'm the taxman
And you're working for no one but me.
thank God marketing has so many hungry kids to work with
No doubt...by all appearances they're either too fat (according to reports) or can barely keep their pants from falling down around their thighs exposing their underwear...its a "marketers" dream come true ;-)
What a shit hole.
Fuck them and their forced industrialisation under the clueless commie pricks - the thermonulcear war in that region can't start soon enough.
Fiatski - better keep to things you know!
what is wrong trying to screw someone out of his hard earned cash ????
I'm not debating the ingenuity of the product, I'm stating that China is a shit hole regardless, courtesy of MAOBamao.
Enjoy collective prosperity, bitchez.
i'm with you on this one - fuck them and their one child policy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XDP1HD7fc4
You actually can have more than 1 kid in China.....but you have to pay the government $82,500 dollars to do so (so only the uber-rich have this privilage, since income inequality also exists in "Communist" China).
About that one-child policy, I have a question that has been puzzling me for literally decades since it was supposedly put into place.
If the Chinese REALLY had an operating one-child policy, then their population should have IMMEDIATELY stopped growing, and very shortly thereafter starting falling precipitously, and yet that has demonstrably not happened. Obviously, regardless of the one-child policy, on average more than one child has been born per couple over the past three decades or so. So exactly WHAT has been happening in regards to that policy in China?
The one child policy is really just a tax on kids. You can have more than one, you just have to pay a fee. Unless you're a government employee in which case you get fired.
"If the Chinese REALLY had an operating one-child policy, then their population should have IMMEDIATELY stopped growing, and very shortly thereafter starting falling precipitously, and yet that has demonstrably not happened. .... So exactly WHAT has been happening in regards to that policy in China?"
Well....
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demographics_of_China "
The sex ratio (the number of males for each female in a population) at birth was 118.06% in 2010, higher than the 116.86% of 2000, but 0.53 points lower than the ratio of 118.59% in 2005.[3] In most western countries the sex ratio at birth is around 105 boys to 100 girls ..."
Purely coincidental though....
I see you're ready for WWIII
Couldn't fuck up the environment much more...
Precisely, and at least the filthy peasants will be vaporised.
soon to be discoved it is not realy air air but rather horse farts...but that's the Chinese way...
Chinese citizen equine shitizenism products are eternal!!!
"soon to be discoved it is not realy air air but rather horse farts...but that's the Chinese way..."
I was thinking more like CFCs or smokestack scrubber residue.
So it's exhalations from politicians?
The U.S., has been selling Canned Farts for years
I don't know about the USA selling canned farts but Germany seems to have done it already:
http://www.odditycentral.com/funny/canned-cow-farts-prove-big-hit-in-germany.html
Do they make a fart noise when you open the can. Sill farts or bubly which make a wet fart sound.
The economy is in termoil, there's wars everywhere and you're joking about farts? What are you 9?
Or are you guys going through a mid -life crisis or something?
This man is truly a breath of fresh air !!
My only question is "how do you consume the air in the can?"
He's introducing his AirLock Straw™ next week.
thats the next product ... how to breath fresh air out of a cane ... courses, books, TV commercials a whole industry is being born ,,,, there is room for the Donald Trump of china ...
shotgun
btw: The idea of fresh air can's was originally introduced by Dr. Paul Krugman not the Chinese
savages
US communists are really torn between taxing breathing and banning it outright. They want the "revenue" so very much while they realize humans walking on earth make mother earth scream "ouch". Breathing is transitory.
Just like those cans of Scottish Mist,they used to sell to American tourists.
They better watch out when inflation really starts to hit. The can will then be only 1/2 full.
Other half is full of chips.
"They better watch out when inflation really starts to hit. The can will then be only 1/2 full."
When air gets too expensive there's always Hopeium.
A higher quality gas mask is much more economical.
Why don't we export used, empty cans of soda and beer to China? They are filled with clean, fresh American air. We can sell them for 20 cents instead of 80 cents. That would help the trade deficit problem.
We used to get charged $50 for a bowl of Alaskan glacial ice in Tokyo.
Horrific oily leakage :)
No, fill them with pot smoke and export them as Rocky Mountain High.
That name was probably patented like Panama Red by Big Tobacco in the 70's. Pot02 might still be availabe... oops, there it goes.
Long invacare O2 concentrator http://www.vitalitymedical.com/invacare-perfecto-2-oxygen-concentrator-5...
Given a couple of years of the crap in the Chinese atmosphere burning their lungs out they'll need to drag those things around.
Just took a sip from my oxygenated water, read this article and burst with laughter...
China better not institue any clean air laws as they restrict the growth of capitalisim and wouldn't allow such thriving markets as canned air to exist. Think of the workers that would be out of a job.
I think that's the point of this publicity stunt.
This is a solid, if somewhat inferior, alternative to crafting your own healthcare scheme.
All we need now is an ISS product placement shot and we've got the next Google.
Well, not trying to out-do our chinese "Shitizensimsists" here, but us lucky fuckers have the good old, bought and paid for, at our expense, drum roll please:-
"Carbon Tax".
Thats right folks, we are already being taxed like fuck, but only for exhaling that carcinogenic CO2.
Think on that "Bitchez".
Fucking surfs up fools.
Huhh, get that, conceited fat head greedy fucks look the same the world over.
Have another hit of fresh air. Must be the 60's all over again- Quicksilver live at the Filmore...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EacQEhrbBQ
in these here USSA I am looking for investors for a start-up to bottle and sell Freedom by the troy ounce
Sorry, all my capital is tied up in physical assets.
Micrograms is the more appropriate unit for measuring freedom in the USA nowadays.
+10!!
1 ) wont be surprised that, after analisys, we will discover that the air is in fact full of pesticids
2 ) we could use the same can and put on it a sticker : "paper gold"
Somebody could get rich with Obama Repellant.
Ill have a six pack please, hurry up!
I said a few days ago that we are all living in a Mel Brooks movie. God I'm sorry, I meant it as a joke and now it's real.
I'm waiting for Obama to show up at the podium, pull out a gun, and put it to his head, "Don't take another step and put down the guns or the nigger gets it" "Better do it, he's crazy" "Shut up".
Life imitating art.
SPACEBALLS...Perri-Air
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SiabeNR_q0U
Let's see the west is provoking a war with China by requiring oil to be purchased through the Rockefellers and the Chinese are willing to suffocate themselves to make a buck. How's that likely to work out?
I'm thinking yeast in a brewers vat have a better chance of making it out alive.
I want my 80 cents back! Mine smells like horse breath!
It's so smart burning fossil fuel to produce and transport 100,000 cans of air, contributing more to air pollution.
It's an old idea, too. I saw cans of air from Mt. Fuji on sale in Japan more than 30 years ago.
The Japanese sell everything in cans. Office shirts, underwear (new and used), lobster bisque. Vending machines are everywhere.
And they say people are gullible...
Aren't there people pushing the idea of the "China model" for the rest of us? Things can be a lot worse for Americans....
China Turns Prisoner Executions Into Reality TV
...And there's people all over the internet praising China as a superior model and look forward to the demise of the US!! It looks like they will replace one corrupted system with something worse....
I've got news for you - Japanese "Reality TV" is just as bad - if not worse - and has been for at least 20 years.
We need to understand that these people are just not like us.
This guy should hook up with RONCO. Edward Bernay’s compulsive buying disorder revived under fear sales. Hahahahahaaa
Ron Popeil's ingenuity factory unleashed this hair-in-a-can corrective back in the 1990's. Build up your bald spot with a rich, foamy dust.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GeF7A05zQ8
What a sh*thole
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2013-02-04/chinas-creeping-toxic-smog-clou...
I sure hope Mel Brooks will get some residual checks from this venture.
Spaceballs ...