• Sprott Money
    05/26/2016 - 05:58
    How many “emergency” “secret” meetings do the central planners around the world need to have before the citizens of the respective countries begin to fully understand and take notice that something...

In China Clean Air Sells At $0.80 Per Breath

Tyler Durden's picture


With now daily reports that the smog levels in Beijing are frequently literally "off the charts", it was only a matter of time before some aspiring Chinese entrepreneur decided to provide a much demanded product: clean air. As expected, Xinhua reports  that "philanthropist" Chen Guangbiao is now actively selling canned air to willing and eager Beijingites, tired of inhaling toxic, carcinogenic smog particles. The cost: $0.80 for a can of fresh air.

Xiamen University adds:

Chinese billionaire and controversial philanthropist Chen Guangbiao has unveiled his latest invention, canned fresh air, under his registered trademark “Good Person Chen Guangbiao.”


Each can retails for between 4 yuan and 5 yuan (around $0.80).


He has produced 100,000 cans, containing the fresh air collected from Wuhe county in Anhui province and Taiwan.


He also said he is willing to donate profits from selling organic food to the People’s Liberation Army to safeguard China’s sovereignty over the Diaoyu Islands.

So the next time someone asks what it takes to make one a controversial, billionaire "philanthropist" the answer is simple - selling empty cans to idiots for $0.80 a pop. And tangentially, we dread to learn just what passes for "organic food" in China...

The good news is that, at least for now, the cans of hot air will contain no horse meat.

The better news is that the US (and French, and other insolvent "egalitarian" states) administrations haven't figured out how to tax said purchase of nothing.


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Sun, 03/03/2013 - 09:22 | 3295115 Kilgore Trout
Kilgore Trout's picture

We used to scoff at buying drinking water.

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 09:28 | 3295125 ACP
ACP's picture

Chen Guangbiao's English name is P.T. Barnum.

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 09:32 | 3295131 HoofHearted
HoofHearted's picture

Wait, did they finnaly dub "Spaceballs" into Chinese? This is a 30 year old gag...Pure-E-Air or something like that...

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 09:51 | 3295150 King_of_simpletons
King_of_simpletons's picture

China will kill off its masses without going to war with another country. Carcinogens and pollutants will strip away the stamina of its population. That's its destiny.

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 10:15 | 3295185 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

I see you're using the sun - S. Martin

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 10:24 | 3295202 knukles
knukles's picture

Leverse lengenered flum Rankee Ros Hangres kreen hair.

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 10:54 | 3295244 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Selling a lie.. what a concept.

I hope our government and the banks don’t ever get on to this.

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 11:01 | 3295253 Atlas_shrugging
Atlas_shrugging's picture

Funny...he doesn't look Druish

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 12:30 | 3295412 55 men
55 men's picture

This guy must have just got done watching the Lorax.

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 13:58 | 3295557 akak
akak's picture

Make me laugh.  Typical US 'american' citizenism throating of mind response.

Chen Guangbiao is a parangong of Communist 'chinese' citizenism entrepeneurialisticalness.

Blobbing-up and marketizing of clean air to Communist 'chinese' citizens in massively polluted Communist 'chinese' cities whose air is contaminated with pollutants and carcinogens showing superiority of minding ideas into things above all non-'chinese' foreign devils.

Suggestion is when in Beijing, do not breath as the Beijingers do.

Crapping on roadsides, though, is Communist 'chinese' citizenism doody.

Waiter, another order of Kitten McNuggets please.

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 14:57 | 3295669 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

I wonder how the knockoffs of "Breath of Fresh Air" smell/taste/feel. You know someone's canning Beijing air and selling it as a cheap knockoff.

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 19:35 | 3296164 Overfed
Overfed's picture

They'll smell like farts. But still an improvement over Beijing air.

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 12:46 | 3295439 jmc8888
jmc8888's picture

Yeah canned in Druidia.

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 16:39 | 3295866 Sylvia Plath
Sylvia Plath's picture

Makes you wonder how much he paid for the can... 

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 17:12 | 3295926 SilverRhino
SilverRhino's picture


Sun, 03/03/2013 - 18:32 | 3296055 Teamtc321
Teamtc321's picture

He didn't build that.

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 12:15 | 3295381 indygo55
indygo55's picture

56% air is really mislabeled non-air air.

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 09:28 | 3295126 espirit
espirit's picture

Next up, canned sunshine from Fukushima Daiichi.

Oh wait, that's free.

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 10:10 | 3295179 Meatballs
Meatballs's picture

Some of us still do.

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 12:30 | 3295411 CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture

So when does this marketeer realize the "Weight Loss" angle of canned air? Breath as many cans as you want with Zero Risk of weight gain!!!


Should appeal to alot of Muppets.

Mon, 03/04/2013 - 01:33 | 3296984 Xaqaria
Xaqaria's picture

Its also gluten free with no hydrogenated vegetable oils!

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 15:55 | 3295782 roadhazard
roadhazard's picture

I still do. I live Above the Crystal Geyser bottled water plant. They bottle my run off. Cheers

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 09:28 | 3295116 thatthingcanfly
thatthingcanfly's picture

Didn't Mel Brooks cover this already in Spaceballs?



Sun, 03/03/2013 - 09:30 | 3295127 Stackers
Stackers's picture

Nothing like pure Druidian air

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 10:00 | 3295164 UGrev
UGrev's picture

He doesn't look Druish.

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 14:19 | 3295588 Drachma
Drachma's picture

I wonder what the Chinese legal definition of "fresh" air is from a commercial claim perspective. My intuition tells me it meets government guidelines of less than 100 000 ppm Pb, 1000 ppm F, 50 000 ppm VOCs...you know...government "safety" regulations. Aluminum can? Where exactly does his air come from? Taiwan. LMFAO. I bet he's trying not to laugh in his promotional videos, thinking of all the peons trying to suck the "fresh" Taiwanese air out of his Chinese aluminum cans.

Thank you billionaire philanthropist.

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 21:00 | 3296074 mjcOH1
mjcOH1's picture

"Didn't Mel Brooks cover this already in Spaceballs?"

No Chinese knockoff of Spacebawl.....Is master stroke Communist Chinese breakthrough, American citizenism!

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 09:29 | 3295128 Haager
Haager's picture

That is the smell of a copyright-claim.

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 12:43 | 3295424 CPL
CPL's picture

Since it's China, I'm going to say there is literally nothing in that can but what you believe is in the can until it's found to be cancerous in someway.  The media will call to ban placebos everywhere the next day, sugar markets crash on the news.


This is China...


Otherwise Mel Brooks nailed that shit though and I've got the mood on to watch Spaceballs.

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 10:09 | 3295178 myptofvu
myptofvu's picture

Save money, buy the 2 litre bottle.

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 11:02 | 3295254 msmith9962
msmith9962's picture

Or a keg.

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 13:01 | 3295469 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

not as long a Mayor Bloomberg is on the job.

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 13:53 | 3295550 formadesika3
formadesika3's picture

Beautiful. They can't run a genetic profile on air, oily anal discharge or not.

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 09:26 | 3295117 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

 "The good news is that, at least for now, the cans of hot air will contain no horse meat."


They bottled the air at the racetrack stables... There's HORSE in there...

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 09:37 | 3295138 Arius
Arius's picture

if they really bottled air ... that is ...

but hey who am i to doubt it?

built it and they will come ...

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 10:33 | 3295207 knukles
knukles's picture

I wanna inspect the air vault, to see if its really there or if this is all just hot air

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 10:43 | 3295237 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

OK ~ I was waiting... waiting... for someone to come up and take the glory... But I guess I'll have to say it...


Tounge punch my fartbox for your free can of air... [which is my entry for the foto caption above]...

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 12:45 | 3295435 CPL
CPL's picture

Sounds like a gas.

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 13:05 | 3295475 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

It is just paper air.

If you can't hold it, you don't own it.

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 12:23 | 3295396 resurger
resurger's picture


Sun, 03/03/2013 - 09:27 | 3295119 Haager
Haager's picture

There is a good chance that these cans do not only contain fresh air but they may smell a little like horse. They just need to add that on the list of ingrediences.

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 10:26 | 3295210 knukles
knukles's picture

Flesh tuna flarts

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 09:28 | 3295121 djsmps
djsmps's picture

Have they found any traces of horse DNA in it?

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 09:36 | 3295133 Smegley Wanxalot
Smegley Wanxalot's picture

If this guy really wants to cut the cost and help the environment he should make the containers out of styrofoam or PVC.


Question: would a 17 ounce can of air be legal in Bloomturd's New York?

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 09:33 | 3295134 nmewn
nmewn's picture

"The better news is that the US (and French, and other insolvent "egalitarian" states) administrations haven't figured out how to tax said purchase of nothing."

Oh, they got it figgered out...they just gotta tie it to starving children or the need for "government investment" or some other such claptrap.

Let me tell you how it will be
There's one for you, nineteen for me
'Cause I'm the taxman, yeah, I'm the taxman

Should five per cent appear too small
Be thankful I don't take it all
'Cause I'm the taxman, yeah I'm the taxman

If you drive a car, I'll tax the street,
If you try to sit, I'll tax your seat.
If you get too cold I'll tax the heat,
If you take a walk, I'll tax your feet.

Don't ask me what I want it for
If you don't want to pay some more
'Cause I'm the taxman, yeah, I'm the taxman

Now my advice for those who die
Declare the pennies on your eyes
'Cause I'm the taxman, yeah, I'm the taxman
And you're working for no one but me.

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 10:17 | 3295191 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

thank God marketing has so many hungry kids to work with  

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 10:31 | 3295221 nmewn
nmewn's picture

No doubt...by all appearances they're either too fat (according to reports) or can barely keep their pants from falling down around their thighs exposing their underwear...its a "marketers" dream come true ;-)

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 09:37 | 3295137 Edward Fiatski
Edward Fiatski's picture

What a shit hole.

Fuck them and their forced industrialisation under the clueless commie pricks - the thermonulcear war in that region can't start soon enough.

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 09:38 | 3295140 Arius
Arius's picture

Fiatski - better keep to things you know!

what is wrong trying to screw someone out of his hard earned cash ????

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 09:42 | 3295144 Edward Fiatski
Edward Fiatski's picture

I'm not debating the ingenuity of the product, I'm stating that China is a shit hole regardless, courtesy of MAOBamao.

Enjoy collective prosperity, bitchez.

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