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Venezuela's Hugo Chavez Is Dead

Tyler Durden's picture




 

The most unsurprising news of the day has just hit, and while we have already had some 20+ rumors on this issue previously, this time it is official:

  • Venezuela's Hugo Chavez has died, says VP Maduro
  • Chavez who ruled Venezuela since 1999, died from cancer at the age of 58
  • Venezuela's army chiefs pledge to support President Nicolas Maduro after Hugo Chavez's death
  • Special deployment of armed forces announced in Venezuela after death of Hugo Chavez

The solemn announcement:

Time to celebrate Hugo's memory with some more currency devaluation? It is unclear if Goldman's record profits on Venezuela exposure (see How The Glorious Socialist Revolution Generated A 681% Return For Goldman Sachs) are about to snap back with a vengeance.

Below is what appears to be a pre-prepared obit from the Telegraph:

Hugo Chavez

Hugo Chavez, the President of Venezuela who has died aged 58, was a shrewd demagogue and combined brash but intoxicating rhetorical gifts with a free spending of oil revenues to turn himself into a leading figure on the world stage

Although no intellectual, Chávez was interested in history and in the power of ideas, and had boundless ambition, both for himself and his country, all fuelled by oil money that gushed into his nation’s coffers in the early years of the new millennium. It was a potent mix.

He first came to public attention in February 1992 when, as a young parachute regiment officer, he made a fleeting appearance on Venezuelan television screens during a botched coup attempt. The elected government survived, and Chávez went to jail. But he was not forgotten: he had told the television audience that he would be back, and within six years he was. He won the 1998 presidential election, and set about making sure that only he would decide when the time had come for him to go.

Thereafter he won election after election, changing the constitution when necessary, and dividing the country into bitterly antagonistic pro- and anti-Chávez camps. His admirers worshipped him as the fearless defender of the poor and nemesis of American imperialism; his opponents regarded him as an almost unmitigated disaster, bringing strife and shame to their country.

 

Certainly, in the early 1990s, Venezuela was crying out for an anti-establishment saviour. Civilian politicians (who had ruled the country after the last military dictator was thrown out in 1958) were jaded and discredited. The oil price boom of the mid-1970s had financed an orgy of consumption, but things had turned sour when government revenues dwindled; when President Carlos Andrés Pérez was elected for a second term in 1989, he was forced to make heavy spending cuts.

In response, the inhabitants of the teeming shanty towns ringing Caracas, who had not prospered even during the boom years, descended on the city centre to riot, loot and burn. Pérez unleashed the army on them, and hundreds died, perhaps thousands.

Lieutenant-Colonel Hugo Chávez was ill at the time, and took no part in the bloodletting. But the repression helped to crystallise his political aims and ideas. He and a group of like-minded young officers had begun a decade earlier to discuss what was going wrong with their country, and how things could be put right.

 

They blamed the political parties for waste and corruption on a grand scale — for frittering away money that should have been spent on health, education, welfare, housing, roads and job creation — and formed their own clandestine political organisation, the Revolutionary Bolivarian Movement (MBR-200), named after Venezuela’s great national hero Simón Bolívar, the father of South American independence from Spain.

MBR-200 forged links with some, but not all, of Venezuela’s many Left-wing organisations, and began to plot. In early 1992 it made its move, briefly occupying the presidential palace. But the attempted coup was premature, and Chávez spent the next two years in prison. He used the time to refine his political ideas, so that, when he received a pardon from President Rafael Caldera in 1994, he was ready for his next venture.

Far from sinking into obscurity, as Caldera and his advisers had expected, Chávez and MBR-200 — renamed the Fifth Republic Movement (MVR) — went from strength to strength. His tub-thumping nationalism and vitriolic denunciations of the ruling elite struck a chord with a growing number of people, fed up with the incompetence and venality of their rulers and impatient for change. Despite this ready-made following, however, Chávez remained convinced that a coup was the only way to power.

The turning point came when Francisco Arias Cárdenas, a fellow Leftist military officer and plotter of the 1992 coup, won an election that made him governor of the oil-rich Zulia state in 1995. Chávez, realising that he could win political power through ballot box, ditched plans for military intervention and pressed ahead with building an electoral strategy instead.

 

He acquired particular loyalty in the urban shanty towns, which had attracted migrants from all over Venezuela and neighbouring countries during the oil boom years, and had become sinks of unemployment and crime when the hard times came. Nonetheless, at the start of the campaign in 1998, he was well behind the initial favourite, Irene Sáez (a former Miss Universe). As polls showed his fortunes improving, Venezuela’s two established political parties, Copei and Democratic Action, allied to block his candidacy, throwing their weight behind Henrique Salas Romer. It made no difference: on December 6, Chávez won 56 per cent of the vote.

Once in power, with world oil prices soaring again and the dollars flowing in, Chávez began to flex his muscles. A new constitution in 1999 changed the country’s official name to Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela. Within a few years he was proclaiming that Venezuela was on the road to “21st century socialism”, and he was in the vanguard of a movement to challenge American hegemony and create a “multipolar” world.

 

Hugo Rafael Chávez Frías was born on July 28 1954 in the small town of Sabaneta, in the western state of Barinas. Both his parents were teachers. In 1971 he enrolled in the Venezuelan military academy, passing out four years later as a second-lieutenant. His military career ended when he was cashiered following the 1992 coup attempt.

But as President he was also commander-in-chief of the armed forces, and he kept close control of the military, purging the upper ranks of detractors and putting his own supporters in key positions; he also installed senior officers in hundreds of government and administrative posts.

Chávez took the idea of a military-civilian revolution partly from an eclectic mix of Right- and Left-wing ideologies, and also from the Cuban revolution. Fidel Castro was his mentor and inspiration, and it was Cuba that provided Venezuela with thousands of doctors, nurses, teachers and other trained personnel, needed to fill the gaps in state provision as Chávez lavished vast sums on social improvement schemes.

 

The most striking feature of Chávez’s political style was his aggressive, confrontational manner. He went out of his way to pick quarrels with both the United States and the Venezuelan political and economic establishment, which he liked to satirise in marathon speeches carried compulsorily on all Venezuela’s television channels, as a “rancid oligarchy” in the pay of Washington.

He was equally derisive of the hierarchy of the Roman Catholic Church, which was an influential opinion-former in a deeply Catholic country. The bishops’ offence was to criticise many aspects of his rule, particularly his growing authoritarianism and intolerance of dissent.

Chávez observed the forms and procedures of representative democracy – elections, parties, parliament – but his was a highly personal rule. He persuaded the government-controlled legislature to grant him special powers to rule by decree, enabling him to introduce sweeping changes to key sectors of the economy, including the oil industry and land ownership.

These actions outraged opposition parties, trade unions and the private sector, which occasionally came together to resist; most of the time, however, they squabbled amongst themselves. Their attempts to unseat him failed, including a coup in April 2002 that lasted just 48 hours before Chávez was swept back into power by loyal military officers and mobs from the shanty towns. The President claimed that Washington had been involved in planning the plot, and insisted thereafter that the Bush administration was planning to assassinate him and/or invade Venezuela.

 

In December 2006 Chávez was re-elected (for a third term; his first rewriting of the constitution required new elections to be held in 2000). He won 63 per cent of the vote, defeating his conservative rival, Manuel Rosales, who represented most of the fragmented opposition. The 7.1 million votes Chávez secured fell far short of the 10 million he had predicted, but it was enough to give him a clear mandate.

He decided that the constitution needed to be changed again, to allow him to rule indefinitely, a span necessary, he said, to complete Venezuela’s transformation into a “socialist and Bolivarian republic”. He estimated that the project could be completed by 2021.

Changes in that general direction had already been made in Chávez’s first eight years in power, notably by strengthening the role of the state oil company, PDVSA; imposing much tougher terms on foreign oil companies operating in Venezuela; expropriating land deemed to be underused or lacking legal deeds; and giving the state greater control over the education and communications systems.

Massive increases in public spending, fuelled by oil revenues, were the key to his popularity. The downside was inflation, corruption, waste and a scramble for resources and influence among rival factions that all claimed to be chavistas.

But his regime failed to create an upsurge in employment to match the flood of oil-cash, or to redistribute income, and violent crime remained a problem that Chávez was reluctant to acknowledge, much less tackle. His only response was to argue that such were the problems of the “transition” period; his inauguration in early 2007 would mark the beginning, he said, of the next stage of the revolution.

If so, it got off to a rocky start. Proposed constitutional reform, including terms that would increase the president’s powers and allow him to run indefinitely, was rejected at a referendum in December that year. It took a second attempt, in February 2009, for Chávez to secure the changes that allowed him to stand for office as many times as he wished.

 

Meanwhile his fiery anti-American rhetoric helped to make him an international celebrity. He toured the world, cementing alliances with any countries that he identified as actual or potential challengers to the American “empire” — countries such as Iran, Cuba, Russia; even Saddam Hussein’s Iraq. He also cultivated relations with China, with the eventual aim of it supplanting the United States as the main customer for Venezuelan oil, and advocated ever-closer integration between South American countries.

Not all his diplomatic ventures were successful, however: his attempt to secure one of the temporary seats on the UN Security Council for Venezuela in 2006 was a failure, in part because of his verbal excesses. His use of the General Assembly podium to pile abuse on President George W Bush, describing him as “the Devil”, went down badly, and probably cost his country votes. Though he congratulated Barack Obama on his election victory in November 2008, indicating that he was ready to “start a process of rapprochement” with the United States, relations remained strained. And Chávez quarrelled bitterly with governments he regarded as pro-American, particularly Colombia, Peru and Mexico, and alarmed neighbouring Colombia with his large-scale purchases of weapons, ships and warplanes.

But it was at home, not abroad, that the bloodshed erupted. For under Chávez’s leadership, Venezuela became one of the deadliest countries on the planet, with more than 120,000 murders during his first decade in office. The toll was higher than in drug-war afflicted Mexico, and four-times worse than post-war Iraq, with its roughly equivalent population. Experts put the soaring murder rate down to an economy that remained sluggish even as the rest of the continent began to take off; poorly paid police, faced with inflation running at 30 per cent, were themselves accused of running kidnapping gangs.

 

And while politically motivated arrests of Chávez’s enemies mushroomed, 90 per cent of murders went unsolved. In 2010 a prominent opposition newspaper, El Nacional, printed a grisly photo of a police morgue, draped with a dozen of the latest murder victims. But instead of prompting a government inquiry, the paper was ordered to stop printing images of the violence, prompting claims of censorship.

By mid-2012 the death toll since Chávez’s inauguration had, according to one expert, reached 155,788. The Venezuelan Violence Observatory, a non-governmental organisation that monitors crime, said a “conservative estimate” for the toll in 2012 alone was 21,692 deaths. “Killings have become a way of executing property crimes, a mechanism to resolve personal conflicts, and a way to apply private justice,” the Observatory explained. In the pre-Chávez era, there had been about 4,500 violent deaths per year.

Chávez was accused of ignoring the problem. But that was partly because in 2011, unusually for a bombastic man determined to remain in the public eye, he had suddenly disappeared off the radar. As speculation about his health spread rapidly, it emerged that he had travelled to Cuba to have a large tumour removed. Typically, he saw this crisis as no reason to scale back his political ambitions. Though his appearances were fewer, he described his battle against cancer as a “rebirth” and turned to social media to drive his campaign to win a fourth term, from 2013 to 2019. This he secured, only to be forced to return Cuba in 2012 for further cancer surgery. In December, the Venezuelan government insisted that he was going through a “favourable recovery” but warned that Chávez might not return to Venezuela by January 10 2013, when he was due to be sworn in.

With his first wife, Nancy Colmenares, Hugo Chávez had a son and two daughters. With his second, Marisabel Rodríguez, he had another daughter. Both marriages were dissolved.

Hugo Chávez, born July 28 1954, died aged 58 in a military hospital in Caracas after suffering from a respiratory infection during treatment for cancer.

 

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Tue, 03/05/2013 - 23:13 | 3303543 FeralSerf
FeralSerf's picture

Physical impossibility that the government's explanation is correct is solid proof.

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 11:42 | 3304829 samcontrol
samcontrol's picture

my father left me some proof on Jfk and i am not dead, yet.

Thu, 03/07/2013 - 00:13 | 3307653 FeralSerf
FeralSerf's picture

Patience -- all comes to he who waits!

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 20:00 | 3302856 Zap Powerz
Zap Powerz's picture

Yeah, I think you pretty much unlocked the entire mystery right there.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 22:54 | 3303479 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Abe Lincoln who killed 1.1 million Americans for the NWO (european bankster families) then broke with them and paid the price.

Wm McKinley 25th President supported the gold standard and was against a central bank.  He also resisted Randolph Hearst's war with Spain over the false flag sinking of the Maine.

Ronald Reagan a non-Ivy, non-Bonesman, non-CIA spook like Poppy, Moscow Bill, GW and the Indonesian working for the CIA in Pakistan.

Pim Fortyun who was well loved by the Dutch for standing up against islamo invasion.  

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 19:31 | 3302763 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

"But we'll all remember the laughter."

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:12 | 3302414 Freddie
Freddie's picture

After he lost his hair - I called him Cueball or El Cueball.

He was no worse that what is in the White Hut or in Wash DC, Chicago, NYC, LA and the other vermin in the USSA.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:37 | 3302553 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Before Chavez got sick - I called him Fat Boy or El Fat Boy. 

He was no worse than any Kennedy family member or the Clintons, Bushes or O. At least Pineapple Chavez was not Skull and Bones.  Senor Chalupa was not a Bonesman like Poppy, W, Bill or O.

Sometimes I call NWO Jeb - El Fat Boy Gringo Bush too. 

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:36 | 3302546 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

CHAVEZ

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 19:58 | 3302846 weyes1
weyes1's picture

Thanks for this, William.

I knew I could count on you.

You are a class act among the largely misguided horde who have shown up here today.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:51 | 3302604 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

Obama loses a mentor

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 19:01 | 3302653 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Che gains a golf partner.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 20:03 | 3302870 Zap Powerz
Zap Powerz's picture

Viva La Revolucion!  Bitchez.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 19:00 | 3302650 Cortez the Killer
Cortez the Killer's picture

fuck the evil cocksucker

squelched dissent, confiscated property, shut down newspapers and radio stations

burn in hell turdball

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 19:10 | 3302676 solgundy
solgundy's picture

Him,Him....F....Him

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 19:10 | 3302680 bank guy in Brussels
bank guy in Brussels's picture

One of Hugo Chávez' key principles will come to mean a lot more to Americans soon ...

Chávez, following Simón Bolivar, said that the military should NEVER turn their guns on their own people ... How many US soldiers will follow that rule in the new American civil war getting underway?

Hugo Chávez sincerely tried to help his own poor ... He was brave enough to oppose American government bullying, and to ask for his gold back, and he may well have been murdered by the USA (CIA and Mossad can 'spray' cancer viruses)

Millions of poor people had their lives brightened by Chávez ... he can be forgiven his economic and other mistakes

Hugo Chávez had real courage ... Rest in peace, brave soldier

 

 

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 19:29 | 3302760 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

- 1

 

Sorry (respectfully) bro, but Venezuela, even with its VERY corrupt politicians before Chavez, is in FAR WORSE shape than before. The world is a slightly better place now.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 19:56 | 3302839 Henry Hub
Henry Hub's picture

***Hugo Chávez had real courage***

What you say about Chavez is true. But, unfortunately he was sitting on our (USA) oil and he had to go one way or another.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 20:27 | 3302955 ElvisDog
ElvisDog's picture

RIP? How about "see ya stupid dickhead that couldn't totally run his country into the ground because he had oil"? Or is that too long?

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 00:08 | 3303711 Clayton Bigsby
Clayton Bigsby's picture

Too bad his bitch monkey ass could only die once.  Fuck that cocksucker and the horse he rode in on.  If anyone in this world deserved cancer, it's him.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 17:58 | 3302317 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

If he died 30 minutes earlier, the S&P would have hit an all time record high also.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:11 | 3302411 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

 

 

Unless it was already priced in.  :D

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:23 | 3302485 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

That's why they saved the news for after the close. Will be another another ATH tomorrow.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 17:58 | 3302318 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

My hopes and wishes go out to the Venezuelan people, that they can now have a government by the people and for the people...

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:05 | 3302369 thisandthat
thisandthat's picture

US officials are flying over there as we speak to assist them to that end. American democracy - erm... "republic": soon also in Venezuela.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:13 | 3302423 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Chicago style freedom.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:15 | 3302431 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

Chicago style economic freedom... you know, Pinochet-style.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 20:55 | 3303035 zerozulu
zerozulu's picture

They are going there to make sure he is dead and see him buried. He was a real pain in the US ass.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:27 | 3302504 Sean7k
Sean7k's picture

Why are the venezuelans the only ones to get government by the people and for the people?

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:38 | 3302561 perchprism
perchprism's picture

 

No way, Jose

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 19:14 | 3302692 Snoopy the Economist
Snoopy the Economist's picture

"My hopes and wishes go out to the Venezuelan people, that they can now have a government by the people and for the people..."

I'm hoping that USA gets that someday too...

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 17:59 | 3302321 Hughing
Hughing's picture

Obama's tears will be real

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:06 | 3302382 redpill
redpill's picture

Has Bohner been giving him lessons?

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:24 | 3302490 otto skorzeny
otto skorzeny's picture

Bohner lessons? O-"Yes Please!"

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:11 | 3302406 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

If Obama had an illegal immigrant landscaper, he'd look like Hugo.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:20 | 3302462 Hughing
Hughing's picture

that's cold ;))

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 17:59 | 3302323 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Gold, bitchez!

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:00 | 3302325 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Viva, Chavez!

Oh, wait...

edit: Can we get our oil back, now?

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:00 | 3302328 Soda Popinski
Soda Popinski's picture

Thou shalt not repatriate thy gold.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:38 | 3302563 toady
toady's picture

Merkel is next?

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:00 | 3302329 HD
HD's picture

He faked his death. It's my first conspiracy theory - you be nice.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:05 | 3302372 redpill
redpill's picture

AP: CHAVEZ TO BE BURIED AT SEA TOMORROW

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:06 | 3302384 HD
HD's picture

...with his gold no doubt.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 23:07 | 3303520 SokPOTUS
SokPOTUS's picture

Chained to his ankles....

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:12 | 3302413 Sean7k
Sean7k's picture

And no, we can't release the photos...

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:00 | 3302335 bskiles
bskiles's picture

Good riddance you SOB. 

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:17 | 3302449 Eally Ucked
Eally Ucked's picture

And why he was SOB to you?

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:00 | 3302339 swissaustrian
swissaustrian's picture

At least he got Venezuela's gold home.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:02 | 3302347 Bob
Bob's picture

There it is.  Even ZH owes him that. 

Especially ZH. 

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:02 | 3302348 HD
HD's picture

...and then he died. Huh.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:07 | 3302381 thisandthat
thisandthat's picture

Question is - will the gold stay there now that he's dead?

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:10 | 3302403 CH1
CH1's picture

Are we sure that it has been delivered?

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:11 | 3302408 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Maduro has already hoisted it to Miami.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:16 | 3302438 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

Probably the ships will turn back... if they even ever left shore.

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 11:46 | 3304846 samcontrol
samcontrol's picture

of course he got delivery, he showed it to the world .no tvs in America?

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 02:15 | 3303897 Pseudo Anonym
Pseudo Anonym's picture

yeah, for how long?

At least he got Venezuela's gold home

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:02 | 3302349 Spastica Rex
Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:03 | 3302354 e-recep
e-recep's picture

he paid the price for nationalizing exxon and repatriating venezuella's gold.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:13 | 3302394 Bob
Bob's picture

Makes me wonder how was his relationship with Monsanto, too.

http://www.organicconsumers.org/articles/article_5353.cfm

But I don't suppose that could cause cancer of all things.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:05 | 3302356 Michelle
Michelle's picture

He looked like hell for being only 58, guess he earned every one of those wrinkles.

I can think of at least 2 more leaders I'd like to see drop dead.

Can Argentina default now?

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:17 | 3302448 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

Only 2?? Europe has several dozens countries, not counting Africa, Asia or America...

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:21 | 3302470 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Africa is a country in Europe? Huh.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 19:44 | 3302640 DoneThis2Long
DoneThis2Long's picture

Lets start with those "closer to home" !?!? And soon ....

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:04 | 3302367 GS-DickinDaMuppets
GS-DickinDaMuppets's picture

Castro is next...

 

doing God's work...GS-DickinDaMuppets

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:04 | 3302368 JethroTull
JethroTull's picture

He sucked. Period!

 

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:05 | 3302371 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

I wonder if Barry will fly flags at half mast?

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 19:33 | 3302769 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Or go to the funeral...

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:05 | 3302375 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

I wonder what derivatives Goldman used to 'Short Chavez'.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:17 | 3302450 swissaustrian
swissaustrian's picture

securitized life insurances

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:07 | 3302385 The Heart
The Heart's picture

One lives longer eternally with more love than hate in the Heart.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:09 | 3302398 Agent P
Agent P's picture

Let me guess...Chinese food for lunch?

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:07 | 3302386 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

Death takes care of all egos. And there are more to come.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:07 | 3302388 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

 

 

So who gets the bounty?  I'd love to take credit, but I've already got a couple drones patrolling my neighborhood.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:07 | 3302390 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

With Obama's track record of foreign leaders he meets kicking off old Kim Jong Un better retract his offer to Dennis Rodman telling him to have Obummer call him.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:08 | 3302391 Agent P
Agent P's picture

"I'm not dead yet."

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:40 | 3302567 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

But do you feel happy?

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:09 | 3302393 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

Thank god for CIA cancer weapons.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:14 | 3302430 resurger
resurger's picture

Am suspecting that as well

+1

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:18 | 3302453 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Egg-zact-ly.  See Lame Cherry's blog. He said a long time ago that someone the TV and Hollywood loves had Chavez, Mubaraak, Khadaffy and others whacked.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:23 | 3302475 epwpixieq-1
epwpixieq-1's picture

This is what talking on a cell phone does to you after several years of unlimited talk time.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:28 | 3302512 Sean7k
Sean7k's picture

Won't know for sure until Hollywood makes and action movie about it...

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 11:48 | 3304852 samcontrol
samcontrol's picture

i wish all you geniuses here would use proper wording, it,s called polonuim 210.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:10 | 3302404 wtf.gov
wtf.gov's picture

Ted Kennedy gets a new checkers partner!

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:14 | 3302420 pashley1411
pashley1411's picture

Castro's passing didn't help Cuba, Khomeni's dieing hasn't help Iran, N Korea is our age's circle of hell.    You think Obama will attend his funeral?  

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:14 | 3302428 Sean7k
Sean7k's picture

Both Castros are alive, you did know that?

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:16 | 3302441 Agent P
Agent P's picture

Did I miss a memo out of Cuba?

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:22 | 3302480 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

Name one offense North Korea has perpetrated against you. How about Iran? America is the circle of Hell.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:50 | 3302602 knukles
knukles's picture

Well, for one, I never got a Christmas card, flowers. letters or even a post card from any of then and they keep telling everybody they want to be friends...
Did you?
Any of you?
Hows about a bag of Malted Milk Balls?
A used tooth pick or dental floss?

Jeeeeeeeeez
At least I hear from the IRS annually. 

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 19:13 | 3302663 Shell Game
Shell Game's picture

+1  ..and that Circle of Hell keeps on expanding.  Can't imagine there's any plan of intervention unfolding...

 

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 19:44 | 3302779 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

A Lunatic:

I can think of at least four:

1) nuclear proliferation

2) $100 Supernotes (the really good counterfeits)

3) wounded my great-uncle, in SOUTH Korea (Korean War, oh yeah)

4) drug trafficking to and kidnapping of Japanese citizens

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 19:55 | 3302834 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

You must really hate America then..........

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:25 | 3302494 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Our circles of hell are DC to NYC, Hollywood and where ever there is a TV studio..  Amerika has more enemies inside it's borders than outside.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:51 | 3302608 knukles
knukles's picture

Please don't give then any more support....

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:57 | 3302637 Mad Mohel
Mad Mohel's picture

No shortage of cheerleader parrot assholes. You want to know your circle of Hell, take a walk down Wall St. and go visit the bearded one while you're down there. Class is over you brainwashed idiot.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:18 | 3302452 SmittyinLA
SmittyinLA's picture

The US and China are more like co-conspiritors than competitors, you'll notice neither the US nor China ever step on each other's interests, for instance China could kill our entire Middle East occupation with manpads, but for some strange reason they DON'T.  

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:20 | 3302458 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

Chavez did understand US politics :

Chavez calls Bush 'the devil' in his speech at the UN

Chavez had more balls than all of congress.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:21 | 3302469 Pairadimes
Pairadimes's picture

Hugo do go down. He wasn't, by any chance, complaining about being jabbed in the leg with an umbrella, was he?

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:29 | 3302511 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

Why can't Bush, Obama, Clinton get cancer already?? Karma is made up BS so people don't fight back when they get screwed.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:29 | 3302515 Volaille de Bresse
Volaille de Bresse's picture

After that who'll dare try to reposess his gold? 

 

A. Merkel you'd better have a PET scan now. I can see some nasty tumors growing already...

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:30 | 3302520 Volaille de Bresse
Volaille de Bresse's picture

"Both Castros are alive, you did know that?"

 

Cos they didn't ask to have their gold back? 

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:31 | 3302521 natronic
natronic's picture

Too bad it was Chavez and not O......

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 19:07 | 3302667 DoneThis2Long
DoneThis2Long's picture

Bingo !!!!!!

That is the 1st thing I look for in the news.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:31 | 3302522 At120
At120's picture

Shoot.  I was hoping they would stand up the body on some balcony somewhere, kinda like Weekend at Bernies meets Evita.  The guy's likely been dead for a few weeks now and the ruling party couldn't hide the truth any longer.

 

 

 

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 19:29 | 3302759 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Yes, I suspect it was a refrigerated flight from Cuba to the refrigerator on the "military" base back in Caracas.

"Senor Cardenas, Hugo is getting sour."

"Turn on more ice. We have to think of something."

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:31 | 3302525 css1971
css1971's picture

Any bets on when Venezuela switches 100% back to the dollar for oil transactions?

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:57 | 3302639 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Gotta put some Goldman stooge in power first.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 19:13 | 3302696 solgundy
solgundy's picture

well, who's out now?.....Joe Kennedy...aka,Citizen's Oil CO......no mas......lmfao

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:36 | 3302550 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

It is truly not funny to be making fun of Chavez for dying just after he lost all of his gold in a boating accident just off the coast.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 19:40 | 3302784 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

+ 1

But, I think it´s funny...

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:38 | 3302562 Mi Naem
Mi Naem's picture

So now we might be hearing announcements over the next several months on the Saturday Night Live News Update that "

Venezuela's Hugo Chavez Is (still) Dead

". 

Don't worry about it kids.  Only the geezers will get that one. 

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:45 | 3302590 HD
HD's picture

In other news - Buckwheat has been shot!

 

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 19:11 | 3302684 DoneThis2Long
DoneThis2Long's picture

It never got any better then MkI and perhaps II. Speaking as a team!!! Individually there might have been an ocassional good one, but as a team .... nope.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:43 | 3302577 HD
HD's picture

The part of Hugo Chavez will now be played by the kid from "Modern Family"...

http://cdn-media.ellentv.com/archive/images/as_seen_on/0111/06-rico-rodr...

 

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:48 | 3302596 tony bonn
tony bonn's picture

sounds much like the indonesian citizen soetoro except soetoro is a bankster's best friend.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:55 | 3302625 adr
adr's picture

Let's see, promise the poor in the shanty towns everything if they vote for you. Come to power and live like a king, toss a few freebies out but not anything close to what was promised. Blame your opponents for not letting the shaty towners live in mansions and promise them more if they vote for you and your party in the next election. Continue to live like a king on your country's dime.

When you win a again, blame your opponents for not letting the poor share in the riches. Tell them to go out and riot and take the riches for themselves. Hope they kill your opponents and enough of the poor die so you don't actually need to give them much of anything. Continue to live like a king on your country's dime.

Kind of seems familiar. How much does Michelle's hair dresser cost us again?

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 19:16 | 3302707 Accounting101
Accounting101's picture

Wow! So that's how it all went down? The average Venezuelan, and when I say average I mean dirt poor, didn't have a measurably better existence under Chavez? Your little narrative failed miserably.

Say what you will about Hugo, corporate and financial services industry whore he was not. The man had lots of faults and his economic leanings certainly were suspect, but at least he challenged beat the system.

The ZH crowd should be celebrating Chavez. He beat the Oligarchy!

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 19:20 | 3302728 At120
At120's picture

Yeah, if he did, he'd still be alive.  That's what you get for repatriating your gold and nationalizing your shopping chains and oil fields, holmes.

 

 

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 09:03 | 3304263 Colonial Intent
Colonial Intent's picture

Every sin that Chavez was accused of committing - governing without accountability, marginalising the opposition, appointing partisan supporters to the judiciary, dominating labour unions, professional organisations and civil society, corruption and using oil revenue to dispense patronage - flourished in a system the US held up as exemplary.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 19:26 | 3302749 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

No, comeade, he was the Oligarchy.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 19:31 | 3302765 Accounting101
Accounting101's picture

Bullshit!!! The corporate and financial interests, especially in the US hated the guy. Christ!!! Pay attention for longer than two seconds.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:55 | 3302626 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

  We all know Chavez has been on ice for awhile. They just had to get all the " Robo Signed" Docs. over to G.S., for the Power Switch. (Before they pulled the plug.)

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:56 | 3302631 autofixer
autofixer's picture

What will his fat arsed daughters do now...Hook? 

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 19:22 | 3302739 At120
At120's picture

Try getting jobs with Bob Mendendez or the Secret Service.

 

 

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:56 | 3302634 Bennie Noakes
Bennie Noakes's picture

He always kind of reminded me of Jabba the Hut.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 18:58 | 3302643 BlueCheeseBandit
BlueCheeseBandit's picture

;(

Viva Chavez...

/sarc

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 19:11 | 3302685 deerhunter
deerhunter's picture

Meanwhile in USA  top ten tv shows for Sunday include the new Bible series on the History Channel as well as Duck Dynasty.   I am all about going duck hunting with Jesus.  Has any one heard the new country song If I Could Have a Beer with Jesus   yet?  just sayin,,,, We could rid ourselves of some bankers if this trend catches on and as we all know a skilled duck hunter is good with a scattergun. 

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 19:13 | 3302693 DoneThis2Long
DoneThis2Long's picture

Was it Elite Team 666 took care of HC ?

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 19:13 | 3302694 lindaamick
lindaamick's picture

Hugo Chavez fought neoliberalism which put him in the gun sights of the US and the elites in Venezuela.  He was an indigenous man of the masses. 

He was elected democratically by his people.  He had to fight CONTINUOUSLY against the news media in his country (4 of the 5 outlets were elite owned and funded by US interests) and coups.

He made major improvements in the lives of the majority of people in his country.  He was beloved.

An American thinking badly of Hugo Chavez is deluded by the US corporate owned media.   

The fact is that ANY democratically elected leader in ANY country that violates instructions from the US is punished via terroristic acts for as long as that leader lives. 

 

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 19:19 | 3302721 At120
At120's picture

Sure, whatever, comrade.

 

 

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 19:23 | 3302741 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Yeah, it was real revolutionary of him to build a 2Billion$ personal fortune.

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 07:25 | 3304144 Colonial Intent
Colonial Intent's picture

Links?

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 19:29 | 3302736 DoneThis2Long
DoneThis2Long's picture

Hell ... your description of HC is damn near the mirror of OhBummer.

OhBummer

  1. fought for nobody (but himself),
  2. has many in his sights, (OK ... they both have the US in common as being on their shitlist),
  3. Stole the elections fair and square, Chicago style,
  4. The MMS lines up to kiss his ass,
  5. The elitists are throwing $$$ at the SOB
  6. Has fucked over the lives of the majority in this country,
  7. He is hated,

Did I miss anything ?!?

Damn, that is a perfect mirror.

EDIT: 8.  O is not indeginous !!!!! (how can I forget thet one .... doh)

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 19:59 | 3302850 Accounting101
Accounting101's picture

Right. Double the dumb ass post.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 20:17 | 3302931 DoneThis2Long
DoneThis2Long's picture

Sorry it was written above your comrehension level. Better luck next time, douchebag. Stick to short, mono-sylabic posts ... you might get those.

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 08:27 | 3304190 Colonial Intent
Colonial Intent's picture

Obama/bush, whats the difference, both meet your seven point criteria.

Oh and unless you is living on a reservation you are not indigenous either, did you have a point?

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 19:24 | 3302744 DoneThis2Long
DoneThis2Long's picture

pardon the double post

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 08:14 | 3304143 Colonial Intent
Colonial Intent's picture

19 fox news viewers disagree with you.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 19:18 | 3302714 Clayton Bigsby
Clayton Bigsby's picture

So long sucker.  Up next, Castro.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 19:18 | 3302716 fudge
fudge's picture

Adios Hombre :(

 

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 19:21 | 3302731 VonSalza
VonSalza's picture

Viva Hugo!

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 19:22 | 3302732 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

There is still a carbon copy in the formerly white house.

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 19:22 | 3302733 beavertails
beavertails's picture

Time for an US Invasion to get the physical gold back

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 02:18 | 3303902 Pseudo Anonym
Pseudo Anonym's picture

no invasion necessary. hugo's gold already left through the back door to its next destination

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 19:23 | 3302740 walcott
walcott's picture

that's what you get for wanting your gold back bitchez!

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 19:28 | 3302755 walcott
walcott's picture

banksters winning!

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 19:32 | 3302766 Freddie
Freddie's picture

F Chavez, F Caspar Gomez and F The Diaz Brothers - they never did nothing for us. I bury those cockroaches!

Tony Montana

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KaCMvISo7RE

Tue, 03/05/2013 - 19:33 | 3302770 grunk
grunk's picture

This just in...

Hugo Chavez is still dead.

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