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Federal Government Offices In Washington DC Will Not Open Today Due To Snow

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Today, the Federal Government's office in D.C. will be closed due to weather: we note this because supposedly someone would notice a difference. Not the sequester, no matter how hard the administration would like to blame it for today's shutdown, but the weather is to blame. Stone McCarthy explains what this means for today's economic reports. "The Office of Personal Management announced Wednesday, March 6 that federal government offices in the Washington, DC area would be closed due to weather. As a result, the usual lockup procedures for the release of economic data will be suspended. The only economic report of note set for release by the federal government on Wednesday is the data for factory orders in January. It will be published on the Census Bureau website at 10:00 ET as scheduled. The Federal Reserve's Beige Book is scheduled for release at 14:00 ET on Wednesday, and we anticipate it will be available on that website at the announced time."

Remember - never let a one day weather crisis go to waste, because it now means that we have a perfectly valid reason for the BLS and DOL to "estimate" better than expected claims and non-farm payrolls for March over the next 4 weeks.

Because otherwise the government may be forced to show what the real economic data underpinning the record DJIA is.... and that would be very bad.

 

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Wed, 03/06/2013 - 08:41 | 3304236 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Open or closed ~ DC = One big snow job clusterfuck surrounded by a circle jerk...

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 08:41 | 3304241 espirit
espirit's picture

Beat me to it - dang.

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 08:54 | 3304247 redpill
redpill's picture

My car wouldn't start this morning because of the sequester.

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 08:58 | 3304252 knukles
knukles's picture

OK, so here's a real time shut down of the federalies.
It's Wednesday morning and I ain't seen anything different.
Maybe if it shut down for.....

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 09:27 | 3304306 espirit
espirit's picture

If they don't want to work - don't pay them!

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 09:51 | 3304396 aint no fortuna...
aint no fortunate son's picture

may it snow in DC every day for the next thousand fucking years

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 12:48 | 3305114 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Can't we just pay them to stay home....permanently?

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 10:02 | 3304435 DblAjent
DblAjent's picture

And yet, no one noticed...

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 13:05 | 3305181 BobPaulson
BobPaulson's picture

Except the non-US residents who either have to work in DC or who regularly get their flights routed through the bottleneck known as the United States.

Is anybody keeping track of how the situation in the US is scaring away the business it used to attract by being knowns as a functioning and free place? Blame the snow if you want, but as they slowly throttle off the movement of people bringing business to the country, there has to be some effect.

I think the USSR experimented with complete control and it didn't work out for them.

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 08:39 | 3304238 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Due to lack of funds the snow cats are not running today.

 

Damn the sequestration man.

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 09:30 | 3304322 CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture

Freezing weather....deep snow....lots of homeless...

 

Sad story, eh.

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 09:38 | 3304357 redpill
redpill's picture

Could use them for 'beef' lasagna in Detroit

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 11:10 | 3304663 Svendblaaskaeg
Svendblaaskaeg's picture

That's Global Bloody Warming for ya..

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 08:40 | 3304239 General Decline
General Decline's picture

The only thing worse than gridlock in Washington is no gridlock in Washington.  Stay home, douchebags.

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 09:22 | 3304296 redpill
redpill's picture

I for one am happy we don't get nearly all the government we pay for.

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 09:44 | 3304378 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

We aren't paying the full tab for it since 08.

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 08:41 | 3304240 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

DAMNIT!!! THERE GOES THE MARCH GDP NUMBERS!!

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 08:51 | 3304243 Big Corked Boots
Big Corked Boots's picture

Millions for bullets, but nothing for snow shovels.

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 08:55 | 3304249 EvlTheCat
EvlTheCat's picture

The official line on this from DHS is, "It's too hard to goose step and shovel snow ."

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 09:05 | 3304265 spankfish
spankfish's picture

Not fair!!! You peaked at the National Defense Authorization Act.

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 10:54 | 3304602 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

The academics in that town have trouble shoveling snow, walking in snow, driving in snow.

It goes up their noses just fine.

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 08:54 | 3304246 Colonial Intent
Colonial Intent's picture

Your salary is a symptom of a totally rotten system, in which profits generated correspond to no concrete value in the real world, leastways not until some taxpaying schmuck has to make sure you're good for it.

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 09:07 | 3304270 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Why do my boots feel as if they have lead in them while i'm sailin like a lightfoot.

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 08:55 | 3304248 Cdad
Cdad's picture

The lives of our government employees are far to precious to risk on treacherous roads.  Perhaps, DC should remain closed until April?  We can protect them and save money.  Or do government employees get time and a half for snow days?

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 09:00 | 3304258 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

They are all down in Fla, playing golf. They are richer than you and cold weather is for the regular people.

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 09:32 | 3304329 espirit
espirit's picture

Believe me, we don't want them down here either.  But, if they do decide to come...they're fair game.

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 08:58 | 3304253 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Is it actually snowing now? Dont think it is...

https://www.google.com/search?q=weather+washington+dc&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&...

They lie about important stuff, why wouldnt the small stuff be a lie automatically?

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 08:59 | 3304255 Albertarocks
Albertarocks's picture

Rahm Emanuel will be all over that crisis like white on rice.

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 12:52 | 3305130 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

I feel compelled to point out that Stink on Shit might be the appropriate metaphor for all things related to Rahm

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 14:29 | 3305431 Albertarocks
Albertarocks's picture

True story!

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 09:36 | 3304272 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Close it down forever... The fucking place was more useful when it was swampland before they started tattooing the landscape with Illuminati bullshit...

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 09:03 | 3304262 rogeliokh
rogeliokh's picture

Who cares, they are useless anyhow, If their offices will stay close for whole year
nobody will even notice and maybe GDP will finally rise 0.5% as result. :)

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 09:04 | 3304264 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

Algos probably like this headline - bullish!

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 09:05 | 3304266 HD
HD's picture

I assume its snow day everyday behind the walls of the Fed. Giant piles of new fiat as far as the eye can see. A hot coco in hand someone yells, "MONEY FIGHT!!" and they playfully throw wads of cash at each other and make money angels. It's all fun and games until someone who had a little too much french wine at lunch tries to write his name in the fiat...

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 09:06 | 3304267 Calculated_Risk
Calculated_Risk's picture

Do they really need anymore reasons to not work?!

'Uh oh, pelosi has a hang nail! Close DC!!!!'

Fucking pussies!

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 09:09 | 3304274 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

DC Forecast: 100% chance of BS

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 09:27 | 3304308 thismarketisrigged
thismarketisrigged's picture

remember guys, if we have bad employment numbers for the next 8-9 months, its due to the snowstorm today. 

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 09:30 | 3304320 Schmuck Raker
Schmuck Raker's picture

It's not the snow. It's a day of mourning for Hugo Chavez.

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 09:33 | 3304334 espirit
espirit's picture

That is good. +1

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 09:47 | 3304386 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

All the flakes in any case

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 09:48 | 3304388 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

It's a day of mourning for Hugo Chavez.

 

I heard an AP news report on his death yesterday.....I didn't realize he was a saint.

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 09:41 | 3304369 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

Due to sequestor I can no longer afford an alarm clock

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 09:56 | 3304410 KRUZER
KRUZER's picture

,,,,,,,,,,,,,since when ZH is into weathering ,,,,not pertinent to your lector.

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 10:05 | 3304448 Curtis LeMay
Curtis LeMay's picture

Will anyone outside the Beltway even notice?

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 10:43 | 3304563 Charles Nelson ...
Charles Nelson Reilly's picture

what a complete an total joke.  I work in the heart of Parasite City here in DC and there is no snow on the ground, all rain right now.

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 10:49 | 3304582 Straw Dog
Straw Dog's picture

I live in the DC metro area, 20 minutes drive from the Capital. Yes it is snowing lightly, no snow lying on the roads. Normally with conditions like these it would be business as usual for government. Don't know why DC is shut down, looks like a scam to me.

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 11:02 | 3304629 rejected
rejected's picture

Working for Telephone company we were required to report to work throught the Cat 4 Hurricane Ivan...

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 11:02 | 3304637 lindaamick
lindaamick's picture

Washington Closed today in order to allow intense planning of new coup in Venezuela.

Venezuela sits on US OIL.

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 11:11 | 3304671 SilverDOG
SilverDOG's picture

Shut it down... shut it ALL down.

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 11:20 | 3304720 Anasteus
Anasteus's picture

They can go sledding.

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 12:32 | 3304786 CPL
CPL's picture

I wish we got snow days in Canada as fully grown adults.

 

Looking at the traffic cams it's only raining in DC.  Why would they shut down?

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 12:21 | 3304995 thedrickster
thedrickster's picture

AHHH, ANARCHY!

SOMALIA, BLAH BLAH BLAH

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 15:22 | 3305658 moonstears
moonstears's picture

STEALTH SEQUESTER DAY...?

Wed, 03/06/2013 - 15:52 | 3305792 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

Winter Strom Warning has been canceled, everybody back in the pool.

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