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Step Aside 'Horse' Hamburger: IKEA Presents 'Poop' Pudding
Submitted by Michael Krieger of Liberty Blitzkrieg blog,
IKEA Recalls Almond Cake After Finding Fecal Bacteria
You thought horse meatballs were bad? You haven’t seen anything yet. The iconic Swedish furniture store, where apparently some people buy groceries, has been forced to recall a batch of its almond cakes in 23 countries “after Chinese authorities said they contained coliform bacteria, normally present in fecal matter.” You know it’s bad when China calls you out on your food quality. From Raw Story:
Swedish furniture giant Ikea pulled a batch of almond cakes from its restaurants in 23 countries on Tuesday after Chinese authorities said they contained coliform bacteria, normally present in faecal matter.
The Swedish-made cakes had failed tests “for containing an excessive level of coliform bacteria, according to the General Administration of Quality Supervision, Inspection and Quarantine,” the Shanghai Daily website wrote.
Ikea said 1,800 Taarta Chokladkrokant cakes — described on its website as an almond cake with chocolate, butter cream and butterscotch — were destroyed in December after being intercepted by Chinese customs.
God Aptit!
Full article here.
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that shit taste good
Yes..., but I can get a whole bedroom suite for $19.99.
shit is organic
Nothing says "luvin" like fresh from the "oven".
I had dinner last night at Escolar's Oceanside Cafe...
...and dessert at Ikea. I regret that now.
Home-ground wheat bread and homemade Derby cheese from our family cow...
Know your inputs, or eat shit.
Argh! Day-yam!
Isn't That What They Serve At The FED Diner All Day Long ???
OR ...
Shit In ... Shit Out.
OR ...
Keep ON Buyin' IKEA Dark Brown Kake AND Paper Gold ...
Life is like a shit sandwich. The more bread you have, the less shit you have to eat.
What would you do-oo-ooo for some horseburger helper, oily-anal-leakage escolar or Ikea chocolate pudding dooo-dooo?
HOW CAN YOU HAVE ANY POOHDING IF YOU DON'T EAT YER HORSEMEAT?
I am Chumbawamba.
Chumbawamba FTW!!!
You damn Kulak! The peasants are starving! Share your food! Expropriate his assets!
By order of Lenin Maobamao
Indeed. I just read One Day In The Life of Ivan Denisovich and The Great Gatsby back-to-back last weekend. It is hard for me to say who are more miserable.
"It is hard for me to say who are more miserable."
~~~
Definitely the one that has to do business with Meyer Wolfsheim for his living...
Anyone that has ever bet on a game using a bookie, bought a bottle of gin, or bought a bond from a NYC desk, has done business with a Meyer Wolfsheim.
Or bagels.
Or signed a note in blood with the devil.
I stipulated "for his living" there...
Kulak, a Russian word meaning fist. ...or by extension "tight-fisted" according to October revolutionaries. They were liquidated to "free" the peasants. Kinda like small business owners today, but the liquid was blood instead of cash.
HH, that home ground bread looks marvelous!
holy shit.. nice.. that fertile Emerald Ireland of yours..
Got SWAT team visit, yet?
Hell, I didn't realize I have been making Ikea quality products daily. In fact, I ate a bunch of salted, roasted almonds last night. Grade A Ikea almond cakes......mmmmmm........were made fresh by me this morning.
CAKES ARE HOT! PICK 'EM UP!
Shit in food is nothing new, I first learned about how endemic it was reading Fast Food Nation.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fast_Food_Nation
Keep in mind some people people put their mouths on other peoples exit ducts voluntarily for pleasure, so shit eating is more common than you might think.
Dude, you could sell your anal discharge back to Ikea.
This is the new Benanke inspired food chain.
remember the pillsbury dough boy commercials...and that finger poking him in the belly? never mind. big finger, little dough boy - nightmares... ... his little "giggle" still haunts me
The Incubus takes many forms...
It's all just for shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.
I will be back in a minute, I am going to go make Krugman a hot lunch and leave him a napkin.
I'm sorry, but those shitcakes are still tasty and the innovative logistics of flat-packing huge volumes of tasty shitcakes are still to be marvelled at.
BTW have you noticed that very much kiddy candy sold in volume (like for party bags) is now produced in China?
Is it horse fecal matter ?
"but I wouldn't know cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfuckers"
A whole new meaning to "This tastes like shit."
pods
does the package show 2 girls and a cup?
and a funnel, don't forget the funnel.
Good shit, bad shit, but it's still the same old shit!
...containing an excessive level of coliform bacteria...
The funny thing here is not that it contained shit, it contained too much shit. I always thought it was funny they put a threshold on shit contamination.
2 Girls, 1 IKEA.
The quintessential dessert/pudding option to go with the shit soup sandwiches and fed liquidity shooters on the a la carte menu.
Cheers Davey!
What did you expect? Got to keep prices down, so quality and quantity are the first things to get cut.
http://future.aae.wisc.edu/data/annual_values/by_area/2051?period=complete&tab=feed
Fuck you Bernanke! Fuck you Congress!
Is the hedonic adjustment for tofu styrofoam?
No no, hedgeless horseman!
Don't you know that, according to JimmyJames here on ZH, constant prices --- after adjusting for inflation, of course --- prove that there is no inflation?! The brilliance of his insight still continues to astound me!
That's right, folks, constant inflation-adjusted prices prove that there is no inflation! Yep, you read it on ZeroHedge first!
Yeah, my brain melted a bit when I saw his comment lol.
There was an almond cake-sized load of logic fail in where he was going with it, but where I think he (and a lot of others) get confused is in thinking that our incomes rise in concert with inflation, ergo, if the price of the shit we buy increases at the same rate as the fiat money we are disbursed in exchange for our productive labor, then effectively there isn't an inflation problem.
Of course (and again, speaking purely within the bullshit govvy data realm here that those still in the cave confine themselves to), the issue is that, while our incomes from productive labor have mostly kept up with the CPI (from Jan 2009 - Jan 2013, average weekly earnings increased 8.62% vs. a 9.08% increase in CPI), total civilian employment has increased only 0.82%, while the total civilian noninstitutional population has increased 4.23%. In other words, we "created" 1,169,000 jobs in 5 years, but we needed 9,924,000 jobs to really keep pace with inflation. In other words, the total earnings of our civilian population has to keep up with CPI in order for us not to experience "effective" inflation. To put a dollar figure on this:
In 2009, we had avg. weekly earnings of $753.08, 142,153,000 jobs, supporting 234,739,000 people in the "civilian noninstitutional population" category (over the age of 16, not in the military or disabled). Total dollars per year: $5.567 trillion. Per person: $23,714.57.
In 2013, we had avg. weekly earnings of $818.03, 143,322,000 jobs, supporting 244,663,000 people in the "civilian noninstitutional population" category (over the age of 16, not in the military or disabled). Total dollars per year: $6.097 trillion. Per person: $24,918.23
So, while the total dollars earned has gone up 9.52% vs. 9.08% CPI, the dollars per person has only gone up 5.07%. To have kept up with inflation, we would have needed $25,916.63 per person.
The total gap: $998.40 per person, or, $244.3 billion dollars. That's how much poorer we effectively are than we were in January 2009, when we were in the midst of the financial crisis. Welcome to the recovery.
To boot, due to "value inflation", you'll pay more to eat Chinese shit.
This isn't new or surprising. It's just "in the news" at the moment. What is actually disturbing is the FDA regulations for "allowed" amounts of fecal matter in various processed foods.
You really don't want to know what's in your hotdog.
Ground-up lips & buttholes?
If it were only that I wouldn't be so concerned.
<Just shut up and swallow......hard.>
Only if you tell me I'm pretty.
Pretty much. Anything that can't be sold as a chop, roast, ham, bacon, pork rinds, dog treats or ground into sausage is minced into hot dog meat. Organs, lips, assholes, stray trimmings, anything left on the floor, etc. all goes down a chute to the hit dog processing area. I've been in those plants and it's really eye opening. At least op for the kosher beef dogs. They're slightly better.
I've eaten asshole -but only after she sat in the hot tub with me for an hour
You know, otto, some things in life are best left unshared.
Even chlorine isn't gonna sanitize that shit.
"...without all the grease all you can taste is the hog anus."
- Homer Simpson
"You know it’s bad when China calls you out on your food quality."
I can't figure out how the Chinese would ever even know...
It tested lower than theirs?
I suspect they are wise enough to test only imported foods.
Mechanically separated meat…along with everything else you've never wanted to eat that comes from a pig (or your meat of choice for you non-pig eaters), plus some binders and filler to make sure we get our profit margin up. In theory the USDA has some kind of authority to stop a dirty plant, the FDA can only make suggestions, and they are summarily ignored all the time.
Natural sausage casings usually contain a good amount of fecal matter on them...and they're "A-ok" per the FDA as long as you can't see it too much. They all happen to come from China now anyway, so they’re most likely fake or tainted with something way more harmful than a little pig poop. Eat up!
Why is everyone down on the fine tubular meats?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=syLqkN8S8OI
And people call the libertarian community nuts because we don't give a shit....pun intended....about the FDA. All of those regulations and we are still eating shitty horse.
Fuck, ya think my Jello Pooding pops are OK? Should've set up a red flag but they were on sale.
Holy shit!
Horse shit?
the ikea food market used to be good.
then they replaced the genuine article with cheaply produced, ikea-branded shit.
does it come with whipped cream on top?
It's a special, there's a guy out the back that helps with that!
Don´t step in it......
The Chinese eat shit for every meal. They could eat that stuff and not even fart. They export melamine, cadmium, and and ethylene glycol in every edible product they make. Chinee authoritiues just being shitty toward imports. Nightsoil bitchez!
This is why, without exception I avoid eating anything "made in china"
I ate shit once in San Juan, Costa Rica. I knew I was ordering some kind of soup... Turns out the 'chef' didn't scrub the villi of the colon vigorously enough before serving the gringo.
I can still remember the waft of steamy odor... {turning green.....again}
"an excessive level"
This presumes there's some acceptable level of shit in food?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=syuAv10QlCA
Actually there is.
Way to set the bar high, humanity.
Just make your own food from raw ingredients (knowing the source too), and you'll be ahead of 99% of the population in all food related ailments. Processed foods are probably worse than shit since they're laced with terrible chemicals.
you never ate at mcdonalds?
Nope. Don't speak enough spanish.
Are you " Shittin" me?
Poop selling for the same price as pudding and horse selling at prime beef prices? How is the CPI accounting for this inflation?
Simple, add a year old galaxy sII or Ipad to the basket of goods and since they have dropped in price since last year, voila!. The FOMC sees more risk of deflation than inflation.
I find it ironic that the same CPI that has been pushing a "skittle-shitting unicorn" narrative is laid utterly bare by horsemeat and shitcake.
Pudding pooping ponies!
Doesn't matter. The man behind the curtain knows the right levers to pull.
All you need to know is "Ya can't have any pudding if you don't eat yer meat!!"
"How can you have any poop pudding, if you don't eat your horsemeat? You! Yes, you! Behind the bikesheds! Stand still laddie!"
Is this rat pooping in your food?
(CBS) What could be finer than a little feces in your spices or a cigarette butt in your sandwich? Perhaps some rat hair in your peanut butter?
11 Totally Disgusting Things the FDA Allows In Your Foodhttp://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504763_162-20013038-10391704.html
There needs to be a privately run Food and Drug analysis company here. We shouldn't trust the FDA. No Way!
They stole that recipe.
It's called the Coogee Gelato.
Food Allergy Warning; this product may contain soy,wheat,fecal by-products.
"Let them eat cake"
Let them eat poop.
And Pooptarts.
Let them eat poopcake!
Nuts in my poo is ok, poo in my nuts, not ok.
Some people, you say Tyler, buy groceries....yes and they sell $1.2 billion in groceries at IKEA
No shit?
There is no way this can happen here in the USA!
Et tu chinese?
Clearly mislabeled by the Chinese warehouse
Taarta Chokladkrokant should be Turdofa black Crackwhore
Just wait until the shit becomes too expensive!
Ersatzscheiße!
and we should care, why? isn't this a financial blog?
It's called "effects of cost-push inflation on quality of goods and obfuscation of price discovery by centralization of money-creation in a fiat system" there, poopcakes.
Ok. This story is turning everyone into adolescents! OH GROW UP!
SUM TING WONG? HU EAT DUNG?
Ok. Maybe it's a little funny.
I had font memories of the Swedish Chef from my childhood but reading this story leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
Closer and closer to Soylent Green.
Soylent Brown?
When you don't eat your horsemeat, you can't have any poop pudding.
Dup post
Trigger balls and poop pudding. I hate to find out what is in their furniture now.
everyone wants to be hot shit -- but no one wants to eat it. lol...
maybe the shit hit the fan and it fell into the almond torte vat?
All this talk about inflationary creep in product size and quality reduction is warranted. Let’s not overlook the fact that it has happened to an even greater degree in all those services you pay for. For example:
Television – 90 channels on your premium subscription and it’s all reality crap.
Customer Assistance – Hi, I’m Sumi, or Loopy, or some other acronym for not-so-smart interactive technology which only exists in cyberspace.
Higher Education – TA’s teaching most of the classes for their professors and online degrees which basically require you to teach yourself.
And so on.
This is a serious question; is anyone testing for human DNA in food products?
Charlton Heston asked the same question.
And look what it got him. Starring roles in some fucked up Ape movies.
Moral of the story: Don't mess with Monsanto
Nope. They don't want to know.
long pork.
Who the fucks buys and eats almond cakes from IKEA ??
The same ones who buy tea-candles by the bushel...
If you think that the other big corporations producing foods are different, you are wrong
Those Europeans love IKEA.Why? I have no IDEA!
But its true. I know alot of Europeans. Most especially the Baltic States. But I have been to IKEA's in Lithuania and in Poland and I swear it is like a mecca over there. My wife is Lithuanian, so she took me to an IKEA in Jersey, and it was my first time at an IKEA in America, and I was the only American in that IKEA in America. It was all European immigrants. Mostly Eastern, and it was packed. I did not see anything that I liked there.
It is very surprising that Europeans like IKEA,considering the fact that they have really great taste in clothing and great pride in physical appearance, but when it comes to furniture, they are as blind as bats.
Ikea furniture is cheap and "disposable". The idea is you rotate your furniture into the skip as fashions change. It's all designed to fall apart in 3 years.
That way your house and home are always fashionable, and crucially, matching. No leftovers from the 70s, 80s, 90s or 00s.
Mr. Hanky strikes again!
"Howdy Ho!"
But seriously folks. This is too much. A poisoning of the food supplies, mystery meat, mystery fish?
I am learning more and more about self sustainance when it comes to food. I can fish. Now I head down to Texas and take some hunting lessons on the Nugent "nature preserve".
We have managed to do some self preservation of our finances, now we need to do some self preservation for our meals. It is hard work, but fun learning how to grow food, catch fish. Now I have to learn how to gut something with fur and feathers. It is only a matter of time until we learn that we really are eating some human remains in all these meat products. Solient Green?
Quite often I have seen how life imitates art:D
You fargin basteeges igunna cut off you ballz and make cakes with you iceholes!
Bring it on Moronie!
Johnny
I'll have the corn pudding.
Come now, we obviously need The Government to step in like a good parent and tell us what we can and cannot consume, how much garbage is allowable by their standards, et cetera. This is obviously a clarion call for The Government to regulate, interfere and control more.
The horrors have only just begun folks and they will only just increase, as Government/Banks continue to attempt to rescusitate the cancer they have created by any means, with the unintended result of raising the price of essential commodities worldwide until people (poor people, at first) have their comestibles 'stepped on' by the 'dealers' until they are eating fecal matter, garbage and plastic.
Oh, and need I add, it is their solemn duty to control and tamp down ALL efforts to organically grow and organically cure.
Look for The Cheesewagons on street corners near you, as .gov rides to the rescue with Govt. Cheese For All!
We've only just begun.
“for containing an excessive level of coliform bacteria, according to the General Administration of Quality Supervision, Inspection and Quarantine,”
My question based on the above statement is;
If the level for coliform bacteria wasn't excessive would it still be OK to sell?
Brings a entirly new meaning to "shit sandwich"!
Sheeeeet.
Does this shit come with assembly instructions?
Yes, unintelligible.
No wonder last week at IKEA I had one of those scrupmtious almond cakes.
Next day I had the shits.
Fucking figures now....
You thought you were getting an almond cake, but it was actually a pu pu platter.
Chose one crispy pet from column "A", and one turd from column "B".
http://www.engrish.com/2012/06/our-2-special/
And this very special dish sounds surprisingly like the daily posting history of AnAnonymous on ZeroHedge:
http://www.engrish.com/2010/12/dried-ball-killed-my-dog/
...and this dish is the house special at the JKC franchise (Just Killed Cat) that AnAnonymous runs:
http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/graphics/eating_babies2.jpg
Where is the bowl of the famed human fetus broth of fabled Chinese dogwokking cuisine that should be accompanying the tasty fried baby bits?
Baby eggplants and carrots not enough for 'chinese' citizenism culinary blobbing-up.
.
AnAnonymous is a penny pincher (as well as a roadside loaf pincher), so the fetus broth spicy bowl is available only at additional cost.
Ah, ah, the point is gripped.
AnAnonymysticism is part and package of miserly loaf pinching tasty smack the fingers dog and baby wokking.
Unsavoryness and bad smells protrude from every pore of his 'chinese' citizenism.
Could be worse stooge,
The week before I had a Findus Lasagne, and it gave me the trots.
Fuckers. Keep fighting the good fight mate....
Where is Charlton Heston when we need him? Who the f*ck knows what we are eating anymore?
Isn't he president of the NRA?
You just woke up this century, I'm guessing. lol
Investment in food is where it’s at. Small farmers will have a great year. Farmers' markets will boom. We are facing a possible drought again this summer. Beef prices will continue to escalate, since ranchers had their breeders slaughtered last summer. Let's get "physical"! Physical gold, physical silver and physical food.
"Soylent brown is people's shit!"
IKEA Almond Cookies, Swedish for
Swedish
Whores
Edible
Diarrhea
In
Square
Heaps
"You know it’s bad when China calls you out on your food quality."
Hee, hee.
So, at what point the people around the world STOP eating Chinese shit. Is there a breaking point?
Sweden stealing Chinese intellectual property by duplicating recipes from Hu Flung Dung?