Behold The VIX Splattergram

Tyler Durden's picture


Presenting the VIX. Or rather, highlighting the grotesque and blatant last second "banging the close" of the VIX. Thank you Simon Potter and your protege, Kevin Henry, for providing countless hours of sideline entertainment, and lamentation for what was once a stock market.



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Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:24 | 3320427 resurger
resurger's picture

Flawless dive. 10/10

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:39 | 3320507 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

Not even mark in the water...

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:51 | 3320563 idea_hamster
idea_hamster's picture

...and embedded head-first in the concrete bottom of the pool.

Can you be both balls-to-the-wall and face-to-the-floor at once, Mr. Tepper?

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 18:04 | 3320772 spastic_colon
spastic_colon's picture

still 2 full points to go before they are back to december 2006 low in VIX......still have to get the S&P 500 to new all-time nominal/psychological high

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 19:33 | 3321033 Spirit Of Truth
Spirit Of Truth's picture

I think the disconnect between Wall Street and the real world is well represented by the VIX "fear index" thrusting to near all-time lows today while North Korea scraps the armistice and threatens nuclear war against South Korea and its American protectorate.

Perfect manic insanity.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 19:35 | 3321046 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Kevin may have really nailed VIX today but he left the trannies alone. Maybe a change in taste or just after diversity?

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:49 | 3320561 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Reminds me of a "flawless victory" from Mortal Kombat, when you didn't get hit at all and you ended up ripping the other dude's spine out.

It can also mean you took a shit and didn't have to wipe.

Both apply well to this situation.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:54 | 3320577 adr
adr's picture

Nah, getting a Flawless Victory was frickin cool. This market is like losing $30 in quarters getting your arms ripped off by Goro over and over again.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 17:56 | 3320771 Everyman
Everyman's picture

They keep this shit up and there will be "dead people" where there were once financial "wizards".  These freaks are pushing it just a bit too fucking far.  There may end up being all kinds of "splattergrams" all over Wall and Broad, board rooms and there rest.  People WILL get pissed when it bites far enough, and judging from the food stamps, and number of UE and those getting gov't. benefits, will be curtailed soon.  Means?  REVOLUTION BABY!

We are on the "eve of destruction".

I hope it all blows up in their faces.  It may be painful fom me and the rest of "regular folk", but it is absolutely LETHAL for these manipulating sick psycho fucks!  they WILL be taken "out back" and dealt with once SHTF,a nd nobody will come to their aid.

Waiting for that day, when these freaks get their comeuppance.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 23:07 | 3321483 cliffynator
cliffynator's picture

I thought up an interesting addition to the "Fed's foot on the gas pedal" analogy.  They've been stomping on it the whole time, while pushing the Nitro button and tweaking the turbos, but maybe the "engine" is finally topping out.  And there frankly is nothing more that can be done except stay at this max speed until engine blows, or let off.

Either way, permanent damage has been done.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 23:13 | 3321495 Everyman
Tue, 03/12/2013 - 07:43 | 3321834 akarc
akarc's picture

You will have a long wait my friend. No one will take anyone out back and do shit. like lemmings of the past they will line up in the snow passively waiting for a slice of bread and a dollop of soup. Nobody yet has gone to jail for high crimes and treason and nobody will. We are nothing more than fodder for kings and princes and prove it daily. Yeah, it pisses me off too.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 07:43 | 3321835 akarc
akarc's picture

You will have a long wait my friend. No one will take anyone out back and do shit. like lemmings of the past they will line up in the snow passively waiting for a slice of bread and a dollop of soup. Nobody yet has gone to jail for high crimes and treason and nobody will. We are nothing more than fodder for kings and princes and prove it daily. Yeah, it pisses me off too.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:26 | 3320437 GolfHatesMe
GolfHatesMe's picture

Dumps the Vix, Rips the ES, Jenga!

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:26 | 3320440 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

The stag just keeps on flation'ing.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:27 | 3320445 SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

Simply amaaaaaaaaazing.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 19:16 | 3321007 spine001
spine001's picture

No please it is not amazing my friends!!! they are creating 5 billion a day of money out of thin air... What do you expect, the DJI will keep on going up, and that is what will trigger the crisis. DJI 100,000, imagine how the people of fixed income will feel about the safety of their investment? Now imagine what happens in between where the DJI is now and where it will get with the FOMC printing and printing and OBAMBANKE spending and spending, and the 48 million on food stamps spending them mostly on sodas that create dislipidemia that leads to infarcts and heart failure and obamacare charging the few remaining working with the bill for taking care of these people...

Oh, by the way, since the fixed income market is way bigger than the stocks markets, imagine what will happen with the DJI and the positive feedback loop that this will create...

Until next time,


Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:27 | 3320447 Critical Path
Critical Path's picture

VIX<10 is the new DOW 10,000 hat of the 90's

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:37 | 3320448 Cult_of_Reason
Cult_of_Reason's picture

AAPL ramp was also strategically executed at precisely when the market was about to roll over.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:28 | 3320452 PontifexMaximus
PontifexMaximus's picture

This a conditio sine qua none, coze otherwise markets wouldn't move higher. Force majeure!

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:28 | 3320453 Edward Fiatski
Edward Fiatski's picture

Hey, risk on. :) UNTIL IT'S, SUDDENLY, BACK OFF!

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:33 | 3320484 JenkinsLane
JenkinsLane's picture

No shit

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:28 | 3320460 Bobportlandor
Bobportlandor's picture

Did it die?

I always wanted a reason to say this.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:28 | 3320461 ekm
ekm's picture

As I've been saying, anybody who believes that bankers own the gov should be expecting to have a lot of volatility because that's how the bankers make money.


The Fed supressing volatility = 50% unemployment in the financial sector.


Do you guys still believe that the Fed will never unwind? It it continues like this, bye bye wall street.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:53 | 3320575 rqb1
rqb1's picture

Good point, you have alot of those.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 17:52 | 3320766 ekm
ekm's picture

Thx a lot

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 17:47 | 3320753 seek
seek's picture

Bye bye wall street has already been happening, with the predictable run-up on stocks, there's zero need for analysts anymore, or brokers for that matter. I'm seeing research groups in some of the larger TBTFs (especially European banks with a US presence) getting shut down wholesale (some of these guys are clients of mine, so it becomes painfully obvious when every CC on an email bounces back recipient unknown.)

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 17:55 | 3320769 ekm
ekm's picture

Your feedback from the trenches is very much appreciated.


FONZ, read this one from SEEK

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 18:17 | 3320828 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Believe me ekm, I see the layoffs. They are relentless. The irony is the bank stock prices. They keep going up because the layoffs are seen improving margins. BAC will be a hundred dollar stock when Moynehan is the one who turns the lights on in the morning and off in the evening.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 18:30 | 3320866 ekm
ekm's picture

I think that BAC has gone higher because the other primary dealers have bought BAC stocks with Fed money. It's not much money, anyway.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 18:20 | 3320837 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

that's already been the case for a while

tha amount of funds which outperform the base index is very small. and that's before you pay your 2 and 20.

when i started saving for retirement, i put 50% in the FTSE100. the saleswoman was trying rather agressively to get other ideas in my head - since i was young, i should invest in more risky assets. no doubt she was secretly crying over the loss of commission.

ah well.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 06:10 | 3321753 Rusty_Shackleford
Rusty_Shackleford's picture

Interesting theory, but if I had to choose between betting on volatility or having someone just hand me a shitload of money, risk-free, I'd stick with the latter.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:29 | 3320465 uncle_vito
uncle_vito's picture

When they banged that close, my TNA holding shot up too.   Cool.   You learn to expect this crap and profit from it.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:32 | 3320476 JenkinsLane
JenkinsLane's picture

"And I become death, destroyer of VIX."


Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:33 | 3320480 BlueStreet
BlueStreet's picture

Maybe a top in the morning with a VIX 10 handle and S&P testing the high and failing, or maybe not.  



Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:38 | 3320497 JenkinsLane
JenkinsLane's picture

And if my aunt had nuts she'd be my uncle.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 17:12 | 3320625 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

I've always wondered if that joke confuses people who have a gay uncle who married a man.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 17:20 | 3320654 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Aww...c' know thatr gay marriage doesn't really count...

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:36 | 3320493 mr. mirbach
mr. mirbach's picture

cue the "This time is different" meme

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:39 | 3320509 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

Splattergram looks like a 60 yr old dude w/o viagra staring at roseanne barr.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:40 | 3320517 ekm
ekm's picture


Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:39 | 3320511 PUD
PUD's picture

That's what you get when you play in a casino with all the fun and fancy derivative games all under the guise of "investing"

Why act so shocked?  Why care at all really?  

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:44 | 3320534 JenkinsLane
JenkinsLane's picture

Word is, at this year's NY Fed Xmas party there's going to be karaoke and Simon Potter's going to do a cover version of The Prodigy classic

"Smack My Bitch Up" but his version will be "Smack my VIX Up".


Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:45 | 3320546 lotusblue
lotusblue's picture

Astonishing brashness of manipulation is Growing larger.For this reason and it's frequency and depth,I gotta think the pretend structure wobbling!

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:46 | 3320549 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Get in there and BUY retail sheeples! We got to pass off the bubble somehow or other, so we're pumping at least 50 DOW points daily trying to create another buble mania! BUY BUY BUYYYY you muppets whats WRONG with you!!

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:51 | 3320569 adr
adr's picture

I've got like $50. How much AAPL that buy me man. At least let me lick the bag, just that much gotta be worth somethin to ya. Come on man, I gotta get my fix, I'll suck yo dick for a spot of VIX.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:47 | 3320550 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Must. Buy. The Bubble. *gasp....wheeeeeze*

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:48 | 3320554 stevegee58
stevegee58's picture

Yay!  My credit spreads just increased in value!

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:49 | 3320557 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

"If it is Broken, VIX it"

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 18:03 | 3320796 HD
HD's picture


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