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Behold The VIX Splattergram

Tyler Durden's picture


Presenting the VIX. Or rather, highlighting the grotesque and blatant last second "banging the close" of the VIX. Thank you Simon Potter and your protege, Kevin Henry, for providing countless hours of sideline entertainment, and lamentation for what was once a stock market.




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Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:24 | 3320427 resurger
resurger's picture

Flawless dive. 10/10

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:39 | 3320507 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

Not even mark in the water...

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:51 | 3320563 idea_hamster
idea_hamster's picture

...and embedded head-first in the concrete bottom of the pool.

Can you be both balls-to-the-wall and face-to-the-floor at once, Mr. Tepper?

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 18:04 | 3320772 spastic_colon
spastic_colon's picture

still 2 full points to go before they are back to december 2006 low in VIX......still have to get the S&P 500 to new all-time nominal/psychological high

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 19:33 | 3321033 Spirit Of Truth
Spirit Of Truth's picture

I think the disconnect between Wall Street and the real world is well represented by the VIX "fear index" thrusting to near all-time lows today while North Korea scraps the armistice and threatens nuclear war against South Korea and its American protectorate.

Perfect manic insanity.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 19:35 | 3321046 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Kevin may have really nailed VIX today but he left the trannies alone. Maybe a change in taste or just after diversity?

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:49 | 3320561 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Reminds me of a "flawless victory" from Mortal Kombat, when you didn't get hit at all and you ended up ripping the other dude's spine out.

It can also mean you took a shit and didn't have to wipe.

Both apply well to this situation.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:54 | 3320577 adr
adr's picture

Nah, getting a Flawless Victory was frickin cool. This market is like losing $30 in quarters getting your arms ripped off by Goro over and over again.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 17:56 | 3320771 Everyman
Everyman's picture

They keep this shit up and there will be "dead people" where there were once financial "wizards".  These freaks are pushing it just a bit too fucking far.  There may end up being all kinds of "splattergrams" all over Wall and Broad, board rooms and there rest.  People WILL get pissed when it bites far enough, and judging from the food stamps, and number of UE and those getting gov't. benefits, will be curtailed soon.  Means?  REVOLUTION BABY!

We are on the "eve of destruction".

I hope it all blows up in their faces.  It may be painful fom me and the rest of "regular folk", but it is absolutely LETHAL for these manipulating sick psycho fucks!  they WILL be taken "out back" and dealt with once SHTF,a nd nobody will come to their aid.

Waiting for that day, when these freaks get their comeuppance.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 23:07 | 3321483 cliffynator
cliffynator's picture

I thought up an interesting addition to the "Fed's foot on the gas pedal" analogy.  They've been stomping on it the whole time, while pushing the Nitro button and tweaking the turbos, but maybe the "engine" is finally topping out.  And there frankly is nothing more that can be done except stay at this max speed until engine blows, or let off.

Either way, permanent damage has been done.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 23:13 | 3321495 Everyman
Tue, 03/12/2013 - 07:43 | 3321834 akarc
akarc's picture

You will have a long wait my friend. No one will take anyone out back and do shit. like lemmings of the past they will line up in the snow passively waiting for a slice of bread and a dollop of soup. Nobody yet has gone to jail for high crimes and treason and nobody will. We are nothing more than fodder for kings and princes and prove it daily. Yeah, it pisses me off too.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 07:43 | 3321835 akarc
akarc's picture

You will have a long wait my friend. No one will take anyone out back and do shit. like lemmings of the past they will line up in the snow passively waiting for a slice of bread and a dollop of soup. Nobody yet has gone to jail for high crimes and treason and nobody will. We are nothing more than fodder for kings and princes and prove it daily. Yeah, it pisses me off too.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:26 | 3320437 GolfHatesMe
GolfHatesMe's picture

Dumps the Vix, Rips the ES, Jenga!

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:26 | 3320440 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

The stag just keeps on flation'ing.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:27 | 3320445 SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

Simply amaaaaaaaaazing.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 19:16 | 3321007 spine001
spine001's picture

No please it is not amazing my friends!!! they are creating 5 billion a day of money out of thin air... What do you expect, the DJI will keep on going up, and that is what will trigger the crisis. DJI 100,000, imagine how the people of fixed income will feel about the safety of their investment? Now imagine what happens in between where the DJI is now and where it will get with the FOMC printing and printing and OBAMBANKE spending and spending, and the 48 million on food stamps spending them mostly on sodas that create dislipidemia that leads to infarcts and heart failure and obamacare charging the few remaining working with the bill for taking care of these people...

Oh, by the way, since the fixed income market is way bigger than the stocks markets, imagine what will happen with the DJI and the positive feedback loop that this will create...

Until next time,


Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:27 | 3320447 Critical Path
Critical Path's picture

VIX<10 is the new DOW 10,000 hat of the 90's

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:37 | 3320448 Cult_of_Reason
Cult_of_Reason's picture

AAPL ramp was also strategically executed at precisely when the market was about to roll over.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:28 | 3320452 PontifexMaximus
PontifexMaximus's picture

This a conditio sine qua none, coze otherwise markets wouldn't move higher. Force majeure!

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:28 | 3320453 Edward Fiatski
Edward Fiatski's picture

Hey, risk on. :) UNTIL IT'S, SUDDENLY, BACK OFF!

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:33 | 3320484 JenkinsLane
JenkinsLane's picture

No shit

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:28 | 3320460 Bobportlandor
Bobportlandor's picture

Did it die?

I always wanted a reason to say this.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:28 | 3320461 ekm
ekm's picture

As I've been saying, anybody who believes that bankers own the gov should be expecting to have a lot of volatility because that's how the bankers make money.


The Fed supressing volatility = 50% unemployment in the financial sector.


Do you guys still believe that the Fed will never unwind? It it continues like this, bye bye wall street.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:53 | 3320575 rqb1
rqb1's picture

Good point, you have alot of those.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 17:52 | 3320766 ekm
ekm's picture

Thx a lot

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 17:47 | 3320753 seek
seek's picture

Bye bye wall street has already been happening, with the predictable run-up on stocks, there's zero need for analysts anymore, or brokers for that matter. I'm seeing research groups in some of the larger TBTFs (especially European banks with a US presence) getting shut down wholesale (some of these guys are clients of mine, so it becomes painfully obvious when every CC on an email bounces back recipient unknown.)

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 17:55 | 3320769 ekm
ekm's picture

Your feedback from the trenches is very much appreciated.


FONZ, read this one from SEEK

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 18:17 | 3320828 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Believe me ekm, I see the layoffs. They are relentless. The irony is the bank stock prices. They keep going up because the layoffs are seen improving margins. BAC will be a hundred dollar stock when Moynehan is the one who turns the lights on in the morning and off in the evening.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 18:30 | 3320866 ekm
ekm's picture

I think that BAC has gone higher because the other primary dealers have bought BAC stocks with Fed money. It's not much money, anyway.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 18:20 | 3320837 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

that's already been the case for a while

tha amount of funds which outperform the base index is very small. and that's before you pay your 2 and 20.

when i started saving for retirement, i put 50% in the FTSE100. the saleswoman was trying rather agressively to get other ideas in my head - since i was young, i should invest in more risky assets. no doubt she was secretly crying over the loss of commission.

ah well.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 06:10 | 3321753 Rusty_Shackleford
Rusty_Shackleford's picture

Interesting theory, but if I had to choose between betting on volatility or having someone just hand me a shitload of money, risk-free, I'd stick with the latter.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:29 | 3320465 uncle_vito
uncle_vito's picture

When they banged that close, my TNA holding shot up too.   Cool.   You learn to expect this crap and profit from it.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:32 | 3320476 JenkinsLane
JenkinsLane's picture

"And I become death, destroyer of VIX."


Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:33 | 3320480 BlueStreet
BlueStreet's picture

Maybe a top in the morning with a VIX 10 handle and S&P testing the high and failing, or maybe not.  



Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:38 | 3320497 JenkinsLane
JenkinsLane's picture

And if my aunt had nuts she'd be my uncle.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 17:12 | 3320625 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

I've always wondered if that joke confuses people who have a gay uncle who married a man.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 17:20 | 3320654 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Aww...c' know thatr gay marriage doesn't really count...

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:36 | 3320493 mr. mirbach
mr. mirbach's picture

cue the "This time is different" meme

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:39 | 3320509 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

Splattergram looks like a 60 yr old dude w/o viagra staring at roseanne barr.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:40 | 3320517 ekm
ekm's picture


Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:39 | 3320511 PUD
PUD's picture

That's what you get when you play in a casino with all the fun and fancy derivative games all under the guise of "investing"

Why act so shocked?  Why care at all really?  

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:44 | 3320534 JenkinsLane
JenkinsLane's picture

Word is, at this year's NY Fed Xmas party there's going to be karaoke and Simon Potter's going to do a cover version of The Prodigy classic

"Smack My Bitch Up" but his version will be "Smack my VIX Up".


Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:45 | 3320546 lotusblue
lotusblue's picture

Astonishing brashness of manipulation is Growing larger.For this reason and it's frequency and depth,I gotta think the pretend structure wobbling!

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:46 | 3320549 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Get in there and BUY retail sheeples! We got to pass off the bubble somehow or other, so we're pumping at least 50 DOW points daily trying to create another buble mania! BUY BUY BUYYYY you muppets whats WRONG with you!!

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:51 | 3320569 adr
adr's picture

I've got like $50. How much AAPL that buy me man. At least let me lick the bag, just that much gotta be worth somethin to ya. Come on man, I gotta get my fix, I'll suck yo dick for a spot of VIX.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:47 | 3320550 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Must. Buy. The Bubble. *gasp....wheeeeeze*

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:48 | 3320554 stevegee58
stevegee58's picture

Yay!  My credit spreads just increased in value!

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:49 | 3320557 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

"If it is Broken, VIX it"

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 18:03 | 3320796 HD
HD's picture


Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:49 | 3320559 adr
adr's picture

I'm waiting for the inTrade style collapse of the stock market:

"Due to irregularities in the order execution and financials of the stock exchange, we are forced to close trading until further notice."

If inTrade was manipulated, it has nothing on the S&P, NASDAQ, and DOW. I hope to wake up one day and see stunned CNBC anchors as there is nothing moving on the screen. Cramer sits there rocking in a corner muttering, "It's over, it's all over."

A camera is pegged to the big board, blank and dark as night. Hundreds of runners like statues, motionless, waiting for some sign of life.

I've even got the title:


You've witnessed horror, you've experienced paranoia, but you've never seen the terror of ... THE DAY THE DOW STOOD STILL!!!

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 19:56 | 3321101 razorthin
razorthin's picture

I pine for a good love story.  Thanks.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:53 | 3320574 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Next, the gubment (FED) will assign a DHS agent to be posted over the shoulder of all 'retail traders' computer desks....or anyone with an ETrade account, with an M-4 barrel in their ear and you must hit the 'buy button' at least once every 10 minutes.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 16:56 | 3320582 PontifexMaximus
PontifexMaximus's picture


Mon, 03/11/2013 - 17:01 | 3320581 AGoldhamster
AGoldhamster's picture

DOW final peak around 5-5-2013.
Next major DOW low around 2-2-2016.
Both -/+ 2 weeks.

So still 7-8 more weeks of fleecing the (all the time bearish ZH, among others) sheep.


Mon, 03/11/2013 - 17:01 | 3320598 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Hey if you REALLY think you got it all figured out and it's all 'bullsih' here 300 points or so above all-time ever bubble highs and is a good time to buy as markets will continue to just melt up for another 2 years, then go ahead jump in head first, no ones stopping you.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 17:11 | 3320616 AGoldhamster
AGoldhamster's picture

I didn't mention a price target.
Just a time frame.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 19:39 | 3321059 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Your ruler is off. It's supposed to be June 4th.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 03:20 | 3321655 AGoldhamster
AGoldhamster's picture

I have seen sooooooooo many top callers. Which all were wrong all the time.

But I know only one who was right since March 2009 - with several called turns in between, all right and in a range of +/- 2 weeks - and he called 05-05-2013 and 20-02-2016.

We'll see.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 17:00 | 3320596 bonzo112358
bonzo112358's picture

Anyone(short) selling vol at this level is a brave person.  Someone will get left holding the bag and eventually get his/her face ripped off.  I'm personally buying what they are selling.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 17:16 | 3320636 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

"Someone will get left holding the bag and eventually get his/her face ripped off."

Do ya mean someone like the US taxpayer..?

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 17:25 | 3320669 Global Hunter
Global Hunter's picture

selling vol is crack at this point...great rush feel like a king for a minute.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 17:26 | 3320674 css1971
css1971's picture


Mon, 03/11/2013 - 17:10 | 3320614 znmeb
znmeb's picture

"Thank you Simon Potter and your protege, Kevin Henry, for providing countless hours of sideline entertainment, and lamentation for what was once a stock market."

VIX was *never* a stock, so nothing based on its numerical value *can* be traded on a stock market.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 17:25 | 3320670 Tyler Durden
Tyler Durden's picture

Of course, there is such a thing as VIX futures which in turn allows one to chart the history of net non-commercial positions in VIX futures as per the CFTC COT, especially since the arrival of Simon Potter.

Finally in a reflexive market one can move the underlying by trading the derivative (i.e., AAPL and weekly AAPL options), a phenomenon known by the Fed all too well.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 19:00 | 3320963 Theos
Theos's picture

Who is taking the bath on the other side? How do the classifications work for a product that has no physical underlying?

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 19:48 | 3321082 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Month after month the sellers are sweeping up many pennies hoping expiration comes before the first missle flies (or other black swan arrives). It's better ROI than a money market deposit. Who knows maybe those swans are as mythological as so many seem to believe. I doubt it.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 17:22 | 3320659 youngman
youngman's picture

Anyone remember THE is Greece doing..Italy..are Spains houses increasing in value...are they selling a t record prices...are people depositing money in Europes banks or taking it many new corporations have been formed in France this year...lots of new jobs I illinois back in the black....i know joliet is black...but i was talking is California´s 5 billion non deficit doing...are they in the black now..or was that an accounting trick too.....Food stamps are doing fine..lots of new hires cover the increase in clients...and disability will set another record too...but hey..the market is setting NEW all must be good...???? 

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 17:23 | 3320661 Global Hunter
Global Hunter's picture

short vix puts?  at this point why the hell not.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 17:46 | 3320749 prodigious_idea
prodigious_idea's picture

Ops just for the leverage?

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 17:24 | 3320663 BlueCheeseBandit
BlueCheeseBandit's picture

A panic in the fear market. Ironic.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 17:37 | 3320693 Global Hunter
Global Hunter's picture

or, a reverse fear in the panic market, everybody is scrambling to get a hold of their collatoral in the fear market.

edit: there is nobody left able to short vix.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 17:30 | 3320694 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Fuck ya. Its either that or Bernanke will have to send cash in the mail.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 18:09 | 3320814 Village Smithy
Village Smithy's picture

Simon, you have convinced me. I cannot argue with such an obvious signal that it's ALL CLEAR. First thing tomorrow I'm goin all in. Thanks bro!

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 18:45 | 3320915 Agstacker
Agstacker's picture

Since selling everything I had in the market and buying silver rounds, I've never felt better :)

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 18:49 | 3320934 Theos
Theos's picture

How does one bang the close on the VIX?

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 02:29 | 3321632 Albertarocks
Albertarocks's picture

Great question.  But one thing is now proven, VIX is indeed manipulated just as easily as IWM is.  It has the stink of JP Morgan all over it.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 19:12 | 3320997 Scalaris
Scalaris's picture

I think we can all go ahead and assume that VIX's illegality will be declared forthcomingly under presidential decree and as subject to the Patriot Act.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 19:14 | 3321004 Haager
Haager's picture

So if anyone tries to play against Bennie and his friends he will lose against a hand full of Ace of Spades...

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 19:55 | 3321094 electricgorilla
electricgorilla's picture

More sellers of the Vix means higher Vega i.e. higher sensitivity to volatility. The vix continues to get suppressed until it doesn't. I hope they keep pushing that Vega up to infinity and beyond. Reverse Vix flash crash event on any significant event/catalyst?

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 20:08 | 3321139 CDNX fan
CDNX fan's picture

Long E/S, Long VIX long-dated calls = THE RIGHT TRADE but remember that Sprottie is getting KILLED with redemptions as is Paulson. The "stackers" are getting trashed bigtime. Too funny!


NEVER underestimate the replacement power of equities within an inflationary spiral. PERIOD.

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 23:01 | 3321477 AndrewJackson
AndrewJackson's picture

Does anyone keep track of vix futures fly's? I don't myself, but it looks like you can buy the wings in the May/June/July fly for -.14 ticks. You can hold this trade for 1 month or two and only risk .25 ticks or so. I havn't studied these with extreme focus, but given how these fly's can blow out if things get a little nuts and the vix curve goes inverted, it seems like a decent idea? Comments fellow zerohedgers?

Mon, 03/11/2013 - 23:34 | 3321512 Billy Shears
Billy Shears's picture

I remember splatter bombs! Those giant spit balls Kevin and I used to make in 9th grade algebra. Chowing down a whole loose leaf page and then being excused for some water at the fountain by our guileless teacher so as to make it nice and "juicy!" When you let that sucker rip, oh yeah, that was a splattergram! Just hope it doesn't hit you in the head! That guy was hilarious!

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 06:47 | 3321764 Tom Green Swedish
Tom Green Swedish's picture

Personally I would be embarassed if I worked in the financial industry.

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