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Black Smoke Over Sistine Chapel - No Pope Elected On First Day Of Conclave
On the first day of Conclave, we got no Pope decision as moments ago the Sistine Chapel chimney released black smoke. This is what happens when Goldman does not have a technocratic pope candidate who is, naturally, an immediate unelected shoo-in, guaranteeing the endless printing of diluted indulgences and Nominal Self-Flagellation Targeting.
As a reminder, Pope Benedict XVI was chosen on the second day of the last conclave in 2005, while John Paul II was selected on the third day of the 1978 conclave
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Remember, TNT: the Argentine constitution requires the president to be Catholic.
It's just a bunch of old farts blowing smoke up the...
Maybe none of them can pass the clean penis test, poo residue... as it were.
Perhaps that's why it's black smoke. It's dirty until it's cleaned.
"Markets" are getting smoked too.... DOW is down 1
No new Pope and no new closing high for the DOW? Say it ain't so, just get somebody in there all this uncertainty is killing stocks.
Black smoke..they need to go to Amsterdam and get some good shit man....if you going to conclave..you might as well party....
The Doors Coffee House at Singel 14 just off Central used to be my favorite.
Those guys get their shit the hard way, one choir boy at a time.
It must be called the Sistine Chapel for a reason. The Catholic elites read it as "Six Teens" chapel.
Pope Jimmy Saville...
He coulda been a contendah ...
Anyone know how much they are charging these days for forgiveness of a sin?
If available, that info should be sent to Bernanke.
I think its 2 hail Mary's and a picture of a naked boy
They now offer online forgiveness by accepting paypal and bitcoin as payment.
The Vatican smoke is coming from Mt Etna...
Black smoke? Just burning the books, or maybe some unfortunate choir boy.
That's not Papal black smoke you're seeing - that's paper black smoke. Bernanke's printer is on fire.
Correction: no head-pedophile elected.
The black smoke was actually a subtle tip of the hat to Dennis Rodman. I mean, the Church is eager to rebound from recent setbacks, and who better to advise world leaders on such matters?
think I saw white smoke..oh, but it came out of Ben Shalom's crack pipe
That black smoke..................
Burning the Playgirl Magazines.
So many hatahs
I'll never forget an LA Times article years ago, when Pope John Paul II was touring Mexico and telling the flock "That the more children you have, the closer to God you'll be". Yep, create more unwanted babies, in a place that's already overflowing with poverty and it's all about the control of Governments through the populace! Absolutely, fucking amazing. I mean, look at the Pope hat, it looks like a giant penis and it matches the Catholic Church mission to a "T".
Bill Clinton and the Pope die on the same day, but a mix up in the afterlife paperwork sends them to the wrong places: the Pope goes to hell and Bill goes to heaven. After a couple of days they fix this problem and the Pope gets on the escalator to go to heaven and Bill gets on the other to go to hell. The two pass each other on the way and Bill asks, “How bad was it down there?” The Pope says, “Not that bad, kind of hot and noisy, but I am glad to be going up to heaven now. There’s one thing up there I have been looking forward to.” Bill asks, “What is that?” The Pope replies, “I want to meet the Virgin Mary.” Bill, shakes his head sheepishly and whispers to the Pope, “Too late.”
I really don't give a shit at all.
I want to see flames, not just smoke. Up til the sky. Burn fucking Vatican, burn
The Vatican should have to pony up some cash to cover their expanded carbon footprint covered by that black smoke. Al Gore demands it.
Please keep these update posts coming...it is amusing to see the apoplexy induced in the bigoted hate chorus. You can see the steam coming from their ears as they repeat the same tired mantra. The Church must be doing something right to elict such fury. You can imagine a group of them putting on their Klan robes and going out looking to kill 'em some Papists.
You some kind of buggerer, boy?
I agree. These guys may as well go join the Godless leftists on Huffpost.
The last Pope thing I cared about was SNL's Pope In The Pizza Contest.
Quick, check InTrade to see who's...oh, wait.
Who cares anyhow.. And that's "poobah!" by the way..
First of all those Cardinals want to get out of the low class dormitory (I'm sure it isn't bad but hey) as fast as they can. They will have white smoke out either tomorrow or Thursday. First vote is just to play around.
And as white as the smoke is is as white as the new pope will be. They won't take any risk of trying to increase the flock with someone Latino or African. Even though that is their growing market. USA is my bet just so they can say they are changing. The Boston guy looks good.
God is an alien...and he don't really like humans.
My money's on Larry Flynt.
No final poop yet!
If nominated I will not run; if elected I will not serve.
Okay, okay...if you make Biondi Santi Brunello di Montalcino the Official Sacramental Wine of the New Medici Pontiff, I'll give it some thought. Oh, and dump that Popemobile for one of those Lamborghinis Tyler told us about earlier today, or a '58 TDF from the other guy, and I'm listening.
i went to the vatican last year and when I saw it the only thought I had was HOW MANY POOR FUCKS AROUND THE WORLD WERE BLACKMAILED INTO DONATING THE MEAGRE RESOURCES TO BUILD THIS FUCKING MONSTROSITY?
FUCK THE SISTENE CHAPEL - IF I COULD I WOULD SPRAY PAINT THE FUCKING THING OUT OF EXISTENCE!
FUCK THE POPLE - HE IS THE DEVIL AND THE HEAD OF A RING OF BOY BUGGERING PIGS!
FUCK THE CHURCH - FUCK ALL RELIGION - IT IS STOOD FOR EVIL, IT HAS SIDED WITH EVIL, IT IS EVIL.
FUCK THE CONCLAVE - I WOULD SHIT AND PISS IN THE FACE OF WHICHEVER FUCKER IS CHOSEN.
You really need to learn how to be assertive and how to speak your mind.
Is that you Soup?
I think the whole Abrahamic business causes a lot of strife. Here's to the unaffiliated deists and honest atheists who practice and promote peace!
And also keep an eye out for a false flag with quick fingers pointing at Iran.