Buy Stocks, Buy Bonds, Buy Gold, Buy VIX

Tyler Durden's picture

From Europe's close (and end of POMO) yesterday, US equities went into hyperventilate mode as the rest of risk-assets were decidedly unimpressed. This morning, gold has snapped higher (along with other commodities as the USD deteriorates) to catch up to stocks on the week while Treasury yields continue to slide in a more risk-off manner - or did the dismal data overnight drive expectations for moar QE and buying gold, buying bonds, and buying 'protected' stocks is the order of the day? Once again it appears the equity indices (and in that way the entire US equity market of thousands of stocks) are driven by dips and rips in EUR and JPY.

 

 

Charts: Bloomberg

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Abraxas's picture

No dry powder left at all. I can buy zilch.

Cult_of_Reason's picture

Bimbo Bartiromo keeps on saying that S&P-500 trailing PE is 14 (and nobody corrects her), so keep on buying stocks...

After Q4’12, S&P-500 12 months trailing EPS is $96.81, down from August peak of $98.69; therefore, P/E is above 16 (but the CNBC bimbo keeps saying it is 14).

DoChenRollingBearing's picture

+ 1

Alert ZH readers are a real treasure here.

Cone of Uncertainty's picture

Maria Fartiromo needs to focus on managing the bulge of her gunt rather than talk about a useless valuation metric like trailing PE.

Who the fuck cares about trailing anything?

 

Fuh Querada's picture

and Maria Fart-aroma's voice - makes a circular saw sound like Maria Callas.

adr's picture

Obama will fix that for you. Go back to school, take out $400k in loans and use that cash to invest in the stock market. In four years not only will you be able to pay back the loans in full, you'll be so rich, you'll never actually need a job.

WHAT GENIOUS!!!!

Wealth effect fixes all. Besides, the NASDAQ still needs one hell of a pump job to break its record by next week.

Abraxas's picture

I'm totally going back to school. I plan to take a master in Slavic languages, and PhD in lesbian studies. You think I'm gonna make lots of money once I graduate?

Cult_of_Reason's picture

Yes, you will make a lot of money, if you go into politics on the platform of fighting the "war on women".

Abraxas's picture

War on the lesbian terrorists!

Say What Again's picture

Begining around 11/13/12, both the DOW and the SP500 have been moving up along a straight line of 52 CAGR, and the RUT is at 92% CAGR.  With the exception of two corrections (late Dec to early Jan, and late Feb to early Mar) all of these index are printing an almost perfect straight line along these trajectories.  Even more impressive, is how after their "pullbacks," the indexes get right back to that trajectory and continue to move up along that line.

I'm still working the numbers to see how much that equates to in dollars, but my premise is that it relates to amount of QE injected each day. (I know -- No shit Sherlock).  The point to this is that NOTHING else matters.  Fundamentals don't matter.  Geopolitical issues don't matter.  Cost of commodities don't matter.  All that matters is how much money the central bankers, in aggregate, are printing.

derek_vineyard's picture

pomo is the backbone to keep the market flat but it is my opinion that zirp is the grease pushing everything higher

Lord Of Finance's picture

You will need a lot more help calculating those numbers when this stimulus eventually takes off into hyperinflationary hyper-space.

 

Now who here wants to volunteer for that?

 

'What?'

 

SAY WHAT AGAIN!

Jake88's picture

Hillary Clinton will be the new Osama. What says terrorism more than murdering children with drones.

jumbo maverick's picture

Yes and she is a war hero too. Remember her dodging the sniper fire as her plane landed in Bosnia? A true woman of combat. Obama couldn't even top that.

Fuh Querada's picture

lesbians- you have to seduce a few of them as part of the PhD thesis research.

Lord Of Finance's picture

That sounds like a good academic plan. I am studying gay history and working on my thesis for my "queer theory" class.

 

Yes. That is a real course offering.

akak's picture

I bet your Queer Theory class is a real (fruit)cake walk, too.

monopoly's picture

I am all in. But just those related to the shiny stuff and that silvery look.

eclectic syncretist's picture

The US mint has sold over 12.5 million ounces of silver eagles so far this year, and is on pace to smash the previous record of 40 million ounces in 2011.  This unprecedented level of demand is going to have to push up the price eventually.

http://www.usmint.gov/mint_programs/american_eagles/?action=sales&year=2013

 

Randall Cabot's picture

Greenspan's long lost brother predicts Dow 17000 by end of 2013!!!

http://video.foxbusiness.com/v/2219547864001/

paddy0761's picture

"With 7.7% unemployment we have almost 93% of the population working."

This man clearly doesn't understand the labor participation rate. 

Scro's picture

Waiting for FedEx...

DoChenRollingBearing's picture

If anyone does not own gold, the answer is obvious, buy the precious!  Best diversification and wealth preserver in town, and its not paper.

realtick's picture

The Dollar Collapse - Gold Price Explosion Scenario That Douchebags Like Turd Ferguson Are Too Inept To Chart

fuu's picture

Your little axe is almost ground down to a nub.

Rub that nub, rub it.

Jack Sheet's picture

at least TF doesn't hawk trash here like you.

Disenchanted's picture
How the Markets Are Manipulated via The Corbett Report

 

In startling testimony before the Commodity Futures Trading Commission in 2010, Bill Murphy of the Gold Anti-Trust Action Committee laid out a blistering expose of the systemic manipulation of the precious metals markets with the participation of some of the highest ranking economic officials in the US government:

 

“As an executive at Goldman Sachs in London, Robert Rubin developed an idea to borrow gold from central banks at minimal interest rates (around 1 percent), sell the bullion for cash, and use the cash to fund Goldman Sachs’ operations. Rubin was confident that central banks would control the gold price with ever-more leasing or outright sales of their gold reserves and that consequently the borrowed gold could be bought back without difficulty. This was the beginning of the gold carry trade.

 

“When Rubin became U.S. treasury secretary, he made it government policy to surreptitiously operate an identical gold carry trade but on a much larger scale. This became the principal mechanism of what was called the “strong-dollar policy.” Subsequent treasury secretaries have repeated a commitment to a “strong dollar,” suggesting that they were continuing to feed official gold into the market more or less clandestinely to support the dollar and suppress interest rates and precious metals prices.”

 

Temporalist's picture

Buy bullets.

California Seizes Guns as Owners Lose Right to Bear Arms

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2013-03-12/california-seizes-guns-as-owner...

 

And talking about "Bear"ish sentiment...

Vatican department shares Rome palazzo with gay sauna

"Also on offer are "bear parties", which are advertised on its website with a video of a man stripping down before donning clerical attire.

Bruno, "a hairy, overweight pastor of souls, is free to the music of his clergyman, remaining in a thong, because he wants to expose body and soul", the website says.

The Vatican has declined to comment on the proximity of the sauna to the headquarters of the Congregation for the Evangelisation of Peoples"

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-21753860#sa-ns_mchannel=rss&ns_so...

 

Also there is no inflation and education will be free:

Universities Pile on Faculty Perks as Student Costs Grow

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2013-03-12/universities-pile-on-faculty-pe...

fuu's picture

"“The prohibited person can’t have access to a firearm,” regardless of who the registered owner is, said Michelle Gregory, a spokeswoman for the attorney general’s office."

Your kid has issues? They can take your gun.

Mike7.62's picture

Who still believes that registration doesn't lead to confiscation? Kali is a prime example, and expanding the universe of "undesirables" by bureacratic fiat will lead to more confiscations. Coming soon to a state or country near you. Don't believe it? Listen to the ravings of Feinswine in the Senate hearings yesterday concerning veterans. Yet they wonder at the rush to arm up by the hoi polloi.

DosZap's picture

Who still believes that registration doesn't lead to confiscation?

 

Bingo, 'Example, New York Sullivan Act 1929.

We will NEVER confiscate your weapons.

SheepDog-One's picture

I just bought out Wal*Mart of all their 12 guage shells, around 900 they had left....later I'll start dumping out the #7 shot, melting them and molding into 32 cal balls and reloading them as buckshot.

 

DosZap's picture

Buy bullets.( Little to none to be had in almost 2 months..................good luck.)

California Seizes Guns as Owners Lose Right to Bear Arms( his problem was a mental stay).

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2013-03-12/california-seizes-guns-as-owner...

But, they are hard at work now, they are introducing a ban on all ammo made from/with lead.

Now solid copper bullets will be damned expensive.

PLUS, the US Senate Team, is planning on putting out a trail balloon next week on Banning Assault weapons(that are not assault weapons) Libtards after 30yrs still have no clue what one REALLY is.

We'll see if that flies, can't wait till their shit hits the House...............going to be a fun time getting nealry anything thru there.

 

DoChenRollingBearing's picture

DosZap!  I really feel that I missed the boat by not buying big when the gittin´ was good.  I did see that CTD had 7.62 * 39 (Tula only, by the case of 500) for sale, maybe I will just buy some of that when I get back (but that leaves a paper trail...).  I wish that I had bought a couple thosand more rounds back when they were cheap, and, erm, available...

Jack Sheet's picture

Fuck that CRIMEX naked shorted gold "price". As Jim Willie does not tire of pointing out, large transactions of physical are already taking place at over 2000 Federal reserve toilet papers per oz.

DoChenRollingBearing's picture

I certainly would not know if Jim Willie is right, but that would parallel FOFOA´s thinking, that even NOW the physical is worth far more than the lousy nearly $1600.  And it seems right.

Physical gold is still a bargain...

takeaction's picture

New Video out of America....You have to see this.

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=3a8_1362925707

 

medium giraffe's picture

North Korean secret weapon revealed: fully working genuine Crystal Ball!

Surely this news report is from 2015??!!

magpie's picture

where can i line up for the free Obamasnow

Kirk2NCC1701's picture

It would be funny, if it weren't sad.  Sad for 3 reasons: 

1. It's propaganda, 2. There is a kernel of truth in it, insofar poverty is up and real (U6) unemployment is still in the double-digits, and  3. If we've had 'progress' and technology for over 100 years, then how come not everyone is at least comfy, cozy?

Pareto's picture

there is snow in these trees, but, no birds as they have been eaten by these people sleeping in tents and the corridors.  sprayed cofee all over my comp screen.......again.  Thanks a lot Takeaction

medium giraffe's picture

Gnnn! Just Buy Shit Goddamnit!

MFLTucson's picture

Those holding stocks will get burned (especially Google stock).  Just wait till the Jewish mob decides to sell this market off after they are all short the market and sucked in the last idiot hoping for a get rich quick scheme to come true for them!  Remember, you are not one of the Obama inner circles or one of the JP Morgan or Goldman crime families, you are a common man who must work and pay taxes to fund their fun and theft and play by the rules while your government plans you annihilation either through drones, or to gun you down if you disobey them.  

This is a game for Warren and his corrupt banking friends, they love to lie to the American public and play them for the fools they are.  If Buffett didn’t have the USA taxpayers as a backstop, he would be selling newspapers on the corner.    

Lordflin's picture

Unless you are in with the Fed this market is a fool's game... hold tangible assets...