Chase.com Hacked?

Submitted by Tyler Durden on 03/12/2013 16:30 -0400

Joe Biden

Attempts to access chase.com: the depository arm of JPMorgan, and the bank whose gold vault, the biggest in the world, is located right next to that of the NY Fed, lead to website sightings such as this. Was JPM also just hacked, following the personal hacking of such high profile individuals as Michelle Obama, Joe Biden and Jay Z?

Hopefully the below is safer than the above...

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Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:32 | 3323726 HedgeAccordingly

hackers are busy lately. http://hedge.ly/YpwHCN

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:34 | 3323743 Silver Bug

Don't worry the FED will spin this as bullish somehow and if they can't they will just print another trillion.

http://ericsprott.blogspot.ca/

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:59 | 3323812 francis_sawyer

Bitcoin miners...

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 17:07 | 3323828 Big Slick

As of 5:06PM I am still unable to login to my Chase account.

Password: R!cherTHANy0u!

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 17:29 | 3323914 TruthInSunshine

This is obviously the work of "shadowy cyber terrists," and I hereby demand, on the behalf of my fellow sheeple, that the Amerikistan Security Apparachiks do whatever it takes (constitutional mumbo jumbo be damned) to deliver us from liberty and keep us from peace!

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 17:45 | 3323930 Fish Gone Bad

I can understand someone hacking Jay Z, but Joe Biden? Who the fuck is Joe Biden?

===> </humor>

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 18:53 | 3324154 Stackers

You cant even log on to the error page anymore.....

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 23:27 | 3324888 Bizaro World

Biden is a "Big F---in' Deal" or haven't you heard?

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 17:08 | 3323813 francis_sawyer

<== Hack On!

<== Hack Off!

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 18:40 | 3324128 Sabibaby

Maybe I'll wake up in the morning with 1 Million Dollars in my Chase account. This could be quite bullish for folks like me, going from $2.97 in savings to 1 million would be great for the economy because I will spend all the money on coke and hookers!

and gold, silver, and bullets....

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 20:11 | 3324367 Ms. Erable

I keep hoping to see a different headline: Chase Burned to the Ground, Dimon and Others Hung From Trees'.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:35 | 3323747 Dr. Richard Head

No kidding. Did you see Kim K's credit card bills?

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:56 | 3323804 Shizzmoney

$6milly owed in CC bills, and the bitch has 14 credit cards.

I guess we know where that QE money is going to.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 17:38 | 3323936 Fish Gone Bad

She earned all that money from her video, Kim K **Superstar**

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 18:44 | 3324137 TruthInSunshine

Why didn't Kim Kardashian just put it all on her own credit card? Oh, that's right, it was just a bloodsucking exercise where she merely fulfilled the role of front"spokesperson," and was so absolutely parasitic-rific that even sheeple didn't want to use it, hence it failed.

Kim Kardashian's Credit Card May Be the Worst Credit Card Ever

Kim Kardashian's new credit card, The Kardashian Kard, has a terrible pricing model. It's a prepaid card, which means it targets kids. But it costs between $60 and $100 to activate—an unprecedented starter fee for prepaid cards.

Analyst Zilvinas Bareisis tells American Banker: "I am baffled - this card doesn't seem to make sense at all, it appears to be targeted at teenagers, yet with ridiculous fees. If there is such a thing as a luxury prepaid market, then it's not going to be the teens."

Here's the full list of abnormally high fees:

Card Purchase (Includes monthly fees for 6 months) $59.95
Card Purchase (Includes monthly fees for 12 months) $99.95
Monthly Fee (Applies after initial purchase period) $7.95
Card Replacement - Primary or Companion $9.95
ATM Withdrawal - Domestic $1.50
ATM Inquiry or Decline - Domestic $1.00
ATM Withdrawal - International $2.50
ATM Inquiry or Decline - International $2.00
Point of Sale - Decline -Domestic $1.00
Point of Sale - Decline - International $1.00
External Checking or Savings Transfer (To/From) $1.00
Account to Account Transfer * $1.00
Retail Load Fee (MoneyGram) $1.00
Load Account by Debit/Credit Card ** $1.00
Cancel Account - Request Balance Mailed by Check $6.00
Service Center Care-Live operator $1.50
Bill Pay - Per Item $2.00
Replacement Card Expedite Fee (Overnight) $25.00

* Fee for transferring money from external accounts and to other cardholder accounts
** 2.5% surcharge of transaction amount applies

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 18:58 | 3324164 Lendo

lol I thought you guys were joking about this card!!!!

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 19:26 | 3324250 disabledvet

Sounds like they've got their demographic down pretty good to me. "teenagers with parents who pay" has never let down a marketer yet as far as I'm aware. Of course as the old saw about dealers goes "beware using your own product."

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 18:33 | 3324093 twh99

What was that website's address? All the news organizations are not posting it.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 19:09 | 3324195 LongBalls

Get your money out. It's not making a return worth the risk and allowing the banks to fractionally lend anyway.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:32 | 3323727 Cdad

If the largest bank in the world is hacked, that is bullish because.........drawin' a blank here....

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:37 | 3323752 Dr. Richard Head

It's the Krugman "broken window" ideology, but in a virtual world. This will call for more personnel with IT firewall and encryption experience. etc. etc. Go by APPL and the world will be a better place in the meantime.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 17:00 | 3323815 tenpanhandle

because now they can blame any failures of their positions on hackers, therefore may be signaling "end is near" therefore bullish for rising gold price.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 17:10 | 3323827 McMolotov

Blame it on the Chinaman, go to war. Though I hear the Chinaman is not the issue here, dude.

_{(Yes, I realize Chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature.)}

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:32 | 3323728 hedgeless_horseman

"JPM is fine." -Cramer

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 18:50 | 3324145 Kirk2NCC1701

So is a falling body. Until it isn't.

Wed, 03/13/2013 - 03:57 | 3325199 mkhs

The fall doesn't kill you. Hitting the ground at the end does.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 20:16 | 3324379 NoClueSneaker

I'd like some "We're long JPM " from GS :-P

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:32 | 3323729 GFKjunior

Just a DDoS attack. The modern digital equivalent of a sit in.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:33 | 3323732 achmachat

if it was indeed hacked, we'd also see flying space cats all over that page.

or at least... that's what I wish for.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:40 | 3323769 Dewey Cheatum Howe

Or some cute but grungy looking meme cat with a caption like I can haz UCARD.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 17:03 | 3323821 fuu

http://oi47.tinypic.com/2s60i9k.jpg

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 17:13 | 3323843 Dewey Cheatum Howe

Well played sir. You should expect an invite, voluntary only of course for sensitivity training held at the local FEMA camp.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:33 | 3323734 ParkAveFlasher

Every day is a holiday!

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:45 | 3323779 Panafrican Funk...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZCQ9knw0_E

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:58 | 3323809 hedgeless_horseman

Every day is Halloween

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 17:17 | 3323861 Ness.

Great cut - I haven't heard that song in eons. Much thx HH.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 17:22 | 3323883 fuu

Those old 808's had such great sound.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:33 | 3323735 tickhound

The Chase "Freedom" Card.

Modern Day Ingenuity

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 17:11 | 3323846 McMolotov

Freedom is slavery...

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:33 | 3323737 SemperFord

If the hackers were truly good, they would hack the HFT's

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 18:42 | 3324131 Sabibaby

Or maybe they are the HFT's?

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:34 | 3323738 Dr. Richard Head

Normally, I would say that a website being offline is no big deal. However, ZH has been so prescient in predicting the future that I anticipate seeing a press release detailing the JPiggMorgan hack news.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:34 | 3323740 Lord Drek