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Chase.com Hacked?

Submitted by Tyler Durden on 03/12/2013 16:30 -0400

Attempts to access chase.com: the depository arm of JPMorgan, and the bank whose gold vault, the biggest in the world, is located right next to that of the NY Fed, lead to website sightings such as this. Was JPM also just hacked, following the personal hacking of such high profile individuals as Michelle Obama, Joe Biden and Jay Z?

Hopefully the below is safer than the above...

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Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:32 | 3323726 HedgeAccordingly

hackers are busy lately. http://hedge.ly/YpwHCN

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:34 | 3323743 Silver Bug

Don't worry the FED will spin this as bullish somehow and if they can't they will just print another trillion.

http://ericsprott.blogspot.ca/

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:59 | 3323812 francis_sawyer

Bitcoin miners...

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 17:07 | 3323828 Big Slick

As of 5:06PM I am still unable to login to my Chase account.

Password: R!cherTHANy0u!

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 17:29 | 3323914 TruthInSunshine

This is obviously the work of "shadowy cyber terrists," and I hereby demand, on the behalf of my fellow sheeple, that the Amerikistan Security Apparachiks do whatever it takes (constitutional mumbo jumbo be damned) to deliver us from liberty and keep us from peace!

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 17:45 | 3323930 Fish Gone Bad

I can understand someone hacking Jay Z, but Joe Biden? Who the fuck is Joe Biden?

===> </humor>

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 18:53 | 3324154 Stackers

You cant even log on to the error page anymore.....

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 23:27 | 3324888 Bizaro World

Biden is a "Big F---in' Deal" or haven't you heard?

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 17:08 | 3323813 francis_sawyer

<== Hack On!

<== Hack Off!

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 18:40 | 3324128 Sabibaby

Maybe I'll wake up in the morning with 1 Million Dollars in my Chase account. This could be quite bullish for folks like me, going from $2.97 in savings to 1 million would be great for the economy because I will spend all the money on coke and hookers!

and gold, silver, and bullets....

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 20:11 | 3324367 Ms. Erable

I keep hoping to see a different headline: Chase Burned to the Ground, Dimon and Others Hung From Trees'.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:35 | 3323747 Dr. Richard Head

No kidding. Did you see Kim K's credit card bills?

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:56 | 3323804 Shizzmoney

$6milly owed in CC bills, and the bitch has 14 credit cards.

I guess we know where that QE money is going to.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 17:38 | 3323936 Fish Gone Bad

She earned all that money from her video, Kim K **Superstar**

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 18:44 | 3324137 TruthInSunshine

Why didn't Kim Kardashian just put it all on her own credit card? Oh, that's right, it was just a bloodsucking exercise where she merely fulfilled the role of front"spokesperson," and was so absolutely parasitic-rific that even sheeple didn't want to use it, hence it failed.

Kim Kardashian's Credit Card May Be the Worst Credit Card Ever

Kim Kardashian's new credit card, The Kardashian Kard, has a terrible pricing model. It's a prepaid card, which means it targets kids. But it costs between $60 and $100 to activate—an unprecedented starter fee for prepaid cards.

Analyst Zilvinas Bareisis tells American Banker: "I am baffled - this card doesn't seem to make sense at all, it appears to be targeted at teenagers, yet with ridiculous fees. If there is such a thing as a luxury prepaid market, then it's not going to be the teens."

Here's the full list of abnormally high fees:

Card Purchase (Includes monthly fees for 6 months) $59.95
Card Purchase (Includes monthly fees for 12 months) $99.95
Monthly Fee (Applies after initial purchase period) $7.95
Card Replacement - Primary or Companion $9.95
ATM Withdrawal - Domestic $1.50
ATM Inquiry or Decline - Domestic $1.00
ATM Withdrawal - International $2.50
ATM Inquiry or Decline - International $2.00
Point of Sale - Decline -Domestic $1.00
Point of Sale - Decline - International $1.00
External Checking or Savings Transfer (To/From) $1.00
Account to Account Transfer * $1.00
Retail Load Fee (MoneyGram) $1.00
Load Account by Debit/Credit Card ** $1.00
Cancel Account - Request Balance Mailed by Check $6.00
Service Center Care-Live operator $1.50
Bill Pay - Per Item $2.00
Replacement Card Expedite Fee (Overnight) $25.00

* Fee for transferring money from external accounts and to other cardholder accounts
** 2.5% surcharge of transaction amount applies

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 18:58 | 3324164 Lendo

lol I thought you guys were joking about this card!!!!

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 19:26 | 3324250 disabledvet

Sounds like they've got their demographic down pretty good to me. "teenagers with parents who pay" has never let down a marketer yet as far as I'm aware. Of course as the old saw about dealers goes "beware using your own product."

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 18:33 | 3324093 twh99

What was that website's address? All the news organizations are not posting it.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 19:09 | 3324195 LongBalls

Get your money out. It's not making a return worth the risk and allowing the banks to fractionally lend anyway.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:32 | 3323727 Cdad

If the largest bank in the world is hacked, that is bullish because.........drawin' a blank here....

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:37 | 3323752 Dr. Richard Head

It's the Krugman "broken window" ideology, but in a virtual world. This will call for more personnel with IT firewall and encryption experience. etc. etc. Go by APPL and the world will be a better place in the meantime.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 17:00 | 3323815 tenpanhandle

because now they can blame any failures of their positions on hackers, therefore may be signaling "end is near" therefore bullish for rising gold price.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 17:10 | 3323827 McMolotov

Blame it on the Chinaman, go to war. Though I hear the Chinaman is not the issue here, dude.

_{(Yes, I realize Chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature.)}

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:32 | 3323728 hedgeless_horseman

"JPM is fine." -Cramer

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 18:50 | 3324145 Kirk2NCC1701

So is a falling body. Until it isn't.

Wed, 03/13/2013 - 03:57 | 3325199 mkhs

The fall doesn't kill you. Hitting the ground at the end does.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 20:16 | 3324379 NoClueSneaker

I'd like some "We're long JPM " from GS :-P

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:32 | 3323729 GFKjunior

Just a DDoS attack. The modern digital equivalent of a sit in.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:33 | 3323732 achmachat

if it was indeed hacked, we'd also see flying space cats all over that page.

or at least... that's what I wish for.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:40 | 3323769 Dewey Cheatum Howe

Or some cute but grungy looking meme cat with a caption like I can haz UCARD.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 17:03 | 3323821 fuu

http://oi47.tinypic.com/2s60i9k.jpg

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 17:13 | 3323843 Dewey Cheatum Howe

Well played sir. You should expect an invite, voluntary only of course for sensitivity training held at the local FEMA camp.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:33 | 3323734 ParkAveFlasher

Every day is a holiday!

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:45 | 3323779 Panafrican Funk...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZCQ9knw0_E

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:58 | 3323809 hedgeless_horseman

Every day is Halloween

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 17:17 | 3323861 Ness.

Great cut - I haven't heard that song in eons. Much thx HH.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 17:22 | 3323883 fuu

Those old 808's had such great sound.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:33 | 3323735 tickhound

The Chase "Freedom" Card.

Modern Day Ingenuity

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 17:11 | 3323846 McMolotov

Freedom is slavery...

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:33 | 3323737 SemperFord

If the hackers were truly good, they would hack the HFT's

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 18:42 | 3324131 Sabibaby

Or maybe they are the HFT's?

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:34 | 3323738 Dr. Richard Head

Normally, I would say that a website being offline is no big deal. However, ZH has been so prescient in predicting the future that I anticipate seeing a press release detailing the JPiggMorgan hack news.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:34 | 3323740 Lord Drek

InTrade is also down.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:35 | 3323744 hedgeless_horseman

...and out.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:52 | 3323797 SafelyGraze

spoiler alert: the above link does not take you to pictures of girls at the beach

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:34 | 3323742 Lost Wages

Someone was trying to apply for a credit card using Joe Biden's stolen information and Jamie had to shut it down.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:35 | 3323746 espirit

All your 0's and 1's are belong to us.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:35 | 3323748 Pairadimes

Wasn't me. I haven't been near a computer all day. Well, only this one.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:35 | 3323749 Dixie Rect

HAR!

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:36 | 3323750 A Lunatic

Gonna have to get that Terroristy Internet regulated. And soon.........

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:37 | 3323753 RacerX

..meanwhile the Fed/Banks are extracting value out the back door (ie: QE--otherwise known as legal counterfeiting)

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:45 | 3323781 The Heart

"..meanwhile the Fed/Banks are extracting value out the back door"

Speaking of getting out the back door, the rats are jumping ship for all sorts of reasons. Here is another good one.

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2013-03-11/paulson-said-to-explore-puerto-...

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:37 | 3323754 Dewey Cheatum Howe

Speaking of hacking.................

http://rt.com/usa/white-house-cispa-petition-165/

Before the newest Congress has even heard discussions on a controversial computer bill, over 100,000 people have implored the White House to stop the Cyber Intelligence Sharing and Protection Act dead in its tracks.

A petition on the White House’s ‘We the People’ website cracked the 100,000-signature threshold needed to provoke an official response this week, and now a member of US President Barack Obama’s staff will have to speak out about the CISPA bill, which was recently reintroduced before American lawmakers.

Up until earlier this year, the White House required petitions to collect only 25,000 signatures to garner an official response. In a matter of just three weeks, however, an anti-CISPA petition has become one of the most popular ones on the site..........

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:57 | 3323807 SafelyGraze

In order to improve our responsiveness to the ongoing national dialog, our staff has recommended changing the minimum number of signers from 100,000 to 100,000,000.

The effect of raising the bar will be a more representative picture of the true concerns of the American people.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 17:03 | 3323823 tenpanhandle

oh and by the way, this is due to the sequester.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:37 | 3323756 espirit

I thought I saw some Chinese midgets going in and out the backdoor carrying gold.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 18:43 | 3324134 Sabibaby

They were Umpa Loompa's, Willy Wanka's been busy...

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 20:20 | 3324385 NoClueSneaker

... just german elegible bars ....

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:38 | 3323759 Pairadimes

What a world we live in. Organized crime is now so ordinary that it now has to learn to deal with...organized crime.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:40 | 3323767 q99x2

A distraction to move more gold out of the US.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:40 | 3323768 AZLagun

Razor and Blade are back at it!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cipc8EowshY

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:41 | 3323771 zerozulu

Oh God! I hope they deleted my mortgage.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:46 | 3323784 Seasmoke

Just stop paying it. It's been paid for and the fraud that Jamie committed on it will blow your mind.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:46 | 3323782 strangeglove

My SNAP beta werk or ima gonna snap Bitch!

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:49 | 3323785 NoDebt

'Anonymous' finally makes good on their threat? Hah!

Actually, I liked this: "the depository arm of JPMorgan" and the search index word for the story being "Joe Biden". What old Uncle Joe's got to do with this, I have no idea, but it's still funny.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:50 | 3323794 Dewey Cheatum Howe

Meh call me when they do something interesting like hack into the Onstar on Jamie Dimon's personal vehicle and post the information layed out in google maps for everyone to look at. That will be good for some laughs.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:51 | 3323795 OutLookingIn

Almost 6,000 dead pigs pulled from the Yangsi river?

Turd Ferguson's site TF Metals Report has been down all day.

Eight record days in a row for the DOW?

Wheres the plague of locusts? Or frogs? Or the Nile running red?

Strange days indeed Momma!

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:57 | 3323806 Dewey Cheatum Howe

I got your locusts right here.

http://planetsave.com/2013/03/07/locust-plague-descending-on-israel-and-...

Locust Plague Descending On Israel And Egypt, May Lead To Crop Losses

Large swarms of locust were spotted in the areas around Cairo last week, and have now been spotted throughout Israel. Israel just announced that it was on ‘locust alert’ on Monday. One especially large concentration near Israel’s southern Negev desert numbered at least into the millions. The insects, roughly the size of small birds, can destroy agricultural areas and crops very quickly, contributing greatly to regional food problems.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 17:04 | 3323824 OutLookingIn

Wow! All we need now is frogs. Dogs sleeping with cats. Biblical SHTF stuff!

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 17:08 | 3323837 OutLookingIn

Who you gonna call? lol

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:52 | 3323796 realtick

TF Metals down also - BOO HOO

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 17:48 | 3323967 Argent

tf means well but is a poor technical analyst.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 17:05 | 3323826 reallythinpancakes

maybe Al Gore is busy moving them to the internets

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 17:07 | 3323831 ebworthen

Drones will be sent to take care of the hackers, unless it was the Chinese in which case pigs will be sent.

How dare anyone hack our government website!?!?

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 17:09 | 3323838 yogibear

Too bad they can't Hack the Federal Reserve and start messing around with their QE and POMO.

See the hackers flood the banks with trillions one day and take it all away the next.

Make a circus out of the Fed's QE operations and make the HFTs loose any sense of stability.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 17:33 | 3323921 machineh

Where is my Federal Reserve 'Bernanke Bux' FOMC card with unlimited credit line?

Spend for America!

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 17:18 | 3323862 jfichthorn

JPmorgan.com as well. "server too busy"

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 17:19 | 3323867 s2man

tfmetalsreport.com down today, too

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 22:09 | 3324678 earnyermoney

maybe Turd is Blythe?

LOL

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 17:21 | 3323879 Miss Expectations

CHINA HACKS CHASE. EBT, SNAP CARDS DISABLED.

(just a guess)

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 18:01 | 3324016 yogibear

Announcement:

"People of China you have free food for today compliments of J. P. Morgan Chase and Jamie Dimon"

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 17:25 | 3323897 pragmatic hobo

the internet will not last as it is ... soon it will be restricted to shopping and porn.

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/13/us/intelligence-official-warns-congres...

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 17:28 | 3323909 trader1

back-end database or web server farm experiencing unplanned downtime due to performance, capacity, and/or security.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 17:44 | 3323953 stockwatch101

please hackers, wipe out all my credit card debts and show credit in my bank

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 17:50 | 3323974 Wipewithpaper

Not Hacked, just a test to see how the sheep respond to an initial 2 day BANK HOLIDAY.

Derivatives gone haywire ??? SAR

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 18:02 | 3324018 Albertarocks

Exactly right. And naturally, some terrist group (Bush's pronounciation so we never really knew if he meant "terrorist" or "tourist" and neither did he) is being blamed. So when the big one comes all of us stupid people will believe the glorious leaders that some foreign entity was behind it just like 911. How freakin' much more insulting can they get toward the citizens of the world anyway?

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 22:54 | 3324793 Clowns on Acid

You sound like an idjit.....

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 18:14 | 3324044 news printer

http://Zerohedge.com temporarily unavailable pic.twitter.com/qj430mJGzr

Just few minutes ago ...

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 21:59 | 3324659 ImReady

Don't EVEN joke about that!

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 18:54 | 3324157 JohnGaltsChild

Hmmmmm??? All my silver coins look as though nothing happened.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 19:36 | 3324273 Frank N. Beans

hmm, just tried logging in to hotmail and it's down too

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 19:36 | 3324275 rotagen

Chase...scumbags...they should just use the star of david as their logo.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 19:49 | 3324307 JohnGaltsChild

My monitor is spinning like Linda Blair's head......................Oh, no! Here comes the green barf!!!!!!!!!

Hacked. error 409

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 20:01 | 3324343 Smuckers

Guess they got e-droned.
Tsk tsk, shouldn't be so combatative against PMs.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 21:31 | 3324582 ShortTheUS

This is why every American should withdraw their reserves from the banking oligarchy.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 23:45 | 3324929 jonjon831983

Scary eh

Wed, 03/13/2013 - 14:13 | 3326562 Aegelis

As an ex-JPM employee I can vouch that their computer systems and software are OOOLLLLDDDD...along with Bank of America, which was even older using a DOS-based program with a window's shell when I worked there previously. Banks don't seem to want to spend money on software. They just...don't. My question has more to do with the price of silver.

Chase.com Hacked?

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