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With Twinkies Set To Return, Ebay "Collectible" Buyers Get Harsh Lesson In US Bankruptcy Law

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Remember when greed-stricken Capitalist eBay'ers bid a single-Twinkie up to $8000.00? It appears our rather prescient note that they may regret not comprehending the US bankruptcy process was spot on as NBC News reports that the new owners of the Hostess Brand "look forward to having America's favorite snacks back on the shelf by this summer." The buying group, led by private equity shop Apollo Global, got news of their $410 million winning bid late last night. We suspect the re-establishment of these brands on store-shelves may cut the price a little from $8000 (or perhaps the all-knowing 'market' price signals that demand is there at that price?) - the question is - does eBay have a CFTC-equivalent that the winning Twinkie bidder can cry fat-finger to? Meanwhile, we wonder how long will it be before CNBC gets a visit from the friendly local bakers' union once again?

 

Via NBC News,

The new owner of Hostess Brands snack cakes hopes to have Twinkies back on U.S. store shelves by this summer, according to a member of the purchasing group.

 

"Our family is thrilled to have the opportunity to reestablish these iconic brands with new creative marketing ideas and renewed sales efforts and investment," Daren Metropoulos, a principal at his family's private equity firm, told Reuters in an email on Tuesday.

 

"We look forward to having America's favorite snacks back on the shelf by this summer."

 

Daren's father, Dean Metropoulos, teamed up with Apollo Global Management to offer $410 million for Twinkies and other snack cakes. Their offer was to serve as the minimum offer for the business but no other bidders emerged.

 

News of their winning offer was revealed late on Monday in a court filing.

 

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Tue, 03/12/2013 - 18:31 | 3324108 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

I'm sure if they wanted, they could double or triple the original price easy and they would still be selling a lot of them.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 18:36 | 3324119 ACP
ACP's picture

If there were a twinkie exchange, it just crashed.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 19:18 | 3324229 Matt
Matt's picture

"Remember when greed-stricken Capitalist eBay'ers bid a single-Twinkie up to $8000.00?"

You'd think a financial-centric blog like Zerohedge would have writers who know the difference between 'bid' and 'ask'. There are 0 bids on the $8000 ask for that twinkie.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 20:57 | 3324472 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Do you have any idea how many milliseconds that would take to check?

More than I had to spare, I might add.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 21:06 | 3324489 WayBehind
WayBehind's picture

They trying to ban large sugary drinks and wont ban this shit? They should not even be allowed to make this unhealthy crap. Our society really is fucked up. 

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 23:15 | 3324854 Matt
Matt's picture

Bloomberg is only Mayor of New York, not President of America (yet).

Wed, 03/13/2013 - 00:02 | 3324964 prains
prains's picture

the hardest lesson for twinkie hoarders will be the 180 bpm over rough terrain at night, fuck it's gonna buuuuurn

Wed, 03/13/2013 - 02:04 | 3325147 Boris Alatovkrap
Boris Alatovkrap's picture

BTFD, but if price of Twinkie not recover, enjoy a expensive cream fill pastry.

Wed, 03/13/2013 - 06:23 | 3325250 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

My Twinkie was signed by the last union driver that delivered it to my local Walmart back in 2012.

Bid with confidence.....no Bitcoins accepted. I do accept gold however.

Wed, 03/13/2013 - 01:10 | 3325076 ACP
ACP's picture

Whoa, whoa, whoa! How do you fight zombies without twinkies?!?

Wed, 03/13/2013 - 07:48 | 3325315 mofreedom
mofreedom's picture

see you in hell, commie.

Wed, 03/13/2013 - 11:34 | 3326031 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

You can take my Twinkie from my cold dead hands, pal. Wait, that doesn't sound right.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 22:59 | 3324808 hivekiller
hivekiller's picture

In the twinkie-less interim, I have learned how to make my own and have the pans to prove it. I'm no longer dependent upon crazy unions to get my fix.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 18:35 | 3324117 kito
kito's picture

brand new twinkies and a brand new, shiny fully automated robotic factory to create them.........................................

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 19:04 | 3324180 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

and they will be union free too!

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 19:17 | 3324227 kito
kito's picture

until they improve AI......  ;)

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 19:36 | 3324274 El Crusty
El Crusty's picture

unions can bite my shiny robot ass.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 21:50 | 3324635 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 21:50 | 3324637 sethstorm
sethstorm's picture

Which outs you as a worker-hating Southerner.

Wed, 03/13/2013 - 11:44 | 3326073 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

What robots aren't workers? What a bigot!

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 21:15 | 3324525 sethstorm
sethstorm's picture

Which means they're more hostile to their workers.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 18:36 | 3324120 yabyum
yabyum's picture

Might as well eat uor investments! Lord knows there still edible.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 19:29 | 3324259 outofideas
outofideas's picture

Oh I'm not sure I'd call twinkies edible.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 18:42 | 3324121 Hongcha
Hongcha's picture

What is worth keeping for the future, that is produced/consumed by this Kulture?  What could we point to, with pride, to our future generations.  Just an open question.

Amerikans - A voracious, imbecilic, adipose breed.

Take them and eat them, Amerika; eat many. Many of them.  Stuff your fuck faces with them.

For I am Kali, destroyer of worlds; and this is my body.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 19:13 | 3324206 JustPrintMoreDuh
JustPrintMoreDuh's picture

Oh please let them be deep fried and rolled in bacon!  

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 22:16 | 3324698 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

Or made in China with pigwater batter!

 

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 18:37 | 3324124 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

Easy Apollo colludes with enough ebay twinkie sellers by putting out signals they plan to alter the recipe ala new coke which ups the bid prices and in turn split the profits with the sellers.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 18:38 | 3324125 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Unless they are Union-made Twinkies, they are not Twinkies. Americans demand their original Twinkies, or death.

Okay Americans get death either way cuz those things are foul.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 19:02 | 3324156 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Millions of consumers of edible food-like substances fret over whether the non-union made cream filling will have the half life of tellurium-123, as before.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 18:58 | 3324163 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

At county fairs in the south, you can get deep fat friedTtwinkies.

As to why you would want that damn fool thing...?

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 19:03 | 3324176 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

Deep Fat Fried Twinkies are the junk food equivalent of crack cocain.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 19:11 | 3324199 machineh
machineh's picture

Crack cocaine with Oxycontin icing.

Lord bless this food to the nourishment of our bodies.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 21:25 | 3324556 WmMcK
WmMcK's picture

Especially if you wash them down with yoo-hoo.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 19:05 | 3324183 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Deep fried pickles too.

I have no idea...I think we do it just to gross the rest of the nation out sometimes...but hey, its working!...lol.

As an aside, we hit on a winner every so often, you ain't tasted nuttin till you've had deep fried turkey...seriously ;-)

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 19:39 | 3324283 El Crusty
El Crusty's picture

ever had a deep freid oreo? those really are as addicting as crack..

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 18:40 | 3324127 The Fonz...befo...
The Fonz...before shark jump's picture

Haha you just bought the tulip at the peak...

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 18:41 | 3324129 reTARD
reTARD's picture

And this is why you don't get into numi's until you have loaded up the bullion.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 18:45 | 3324139 giggler123
giggler123's picture

He's not worried, the best before date is a few hundred years, that should give them time to sell at $0.50 each

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 18:51 | 3324146 stocktivity
stocktivity's picture

$1.5 Million grant awarded to find out why most lesbians are fat  (can't make this shit up)  -

 

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2292264/Public-health-study-spen...

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 18:59 | 3324167 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

So why are they ugly?

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 19:13 | 3324207 gruden
gruden's picture

That will cost you $10 million to find out.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 19:39 | 3324288 jimmytorpedo
jimmytorpedo's picture

Government doesn't understand causation.

It's like asking, "how does the sun know to come up every day?"

They are lesbians BECAUSE they are fat and ugly.

Sheesh!

This also carries over into, "we print all this money,...why are we broke?"

or,..."we off-shored all the jobs to get cheaper stuff, why can't anyone afford cheap crap from China anymore?"

buncha twits

 

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 19:47 | 3324305 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

They don't look fat to me. What a waste of money.
;-)

http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/img-thing?.out=jpg&size=l&tid=73176559

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 19:56 | 3324324 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

The SEC will be on your ass for that.

They only like tranny porn.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 20:05 | 3324355 jimmytorpedo
jimmytorpedo's picture

Most of us would spend 1.5million to investigate those types of lesbians.

I would also pay a lot to ride a unicorn.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 20:04 | 3324356 Tod E. Tosspot
Tod E. Tosspot's picture

I think there's a cause-effect, chicken-egg thing going on: were they lesbians before they realized they were ugly?

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 20:06 | 3324360 jimmytorpedo
jimmytorpedo's picture

Thanks for dumbing down my comment Tod.

Perhaps most americans don't understand causation?

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 19:16 | 3324222 Matt
Matt's picture

My bet is hormonal imbalance. If I'm right, do I get the $1.5 million?

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 18:52 | 3324149 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

Amerika is freeeeeeeee or is it...

Breaking 15 laws in 33 seconds.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNbSR1UYsg0

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 19:39 | 3324277 JohnG
JohnG's picture

 

 

I consider it my duty to commit at least 5 felonies and 5 misdemeanors per day.  I get an extra shot (of bourbon) for each more than that.

It's really not that hard, just walk out the door...kill a plant.  Shoot a weapon withing 300 feet of a road (pellet guns count).  You have to know the laws to be able to do this. 

But there are so many!

 

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 18:52 | 3324150 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Dean Metropoulos? Cream filled confections wrapped in plastic?

(Sniff sniff)

Something doesn't smell right here ;-)

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 18:59 | 3324166 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

While transporting Twinkies across the lake my boat sank. It was a total disaster! Not a single box of my precious Twinkies sank with the boat. I ended up eating that investment.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 19:02 | 3324174 100pcDredge
100pcDredge's picture

Wonderbread Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Twinkies

DingDong Skywalker initiates a plan to rescue The Hostess Brand and Metropolis from the Most Evil and Total-Greed-Stricken Overlord, Mr. Foodspeculator.

All of this of course not without the help of Superman his friends, escpecially his girlfriend, Princess Leia. But also Nando, Chuck Norris, 123456789-10! And Bingo, The Super-Creepy Robotic UberHorseDog straight from The Secret Boston Dynamical Underground Laboratory, probably somewhere, very deep down, under the completely deforested mountains of Greece.

Who keeps the oldest, never touched and still edible Twinkie in the Holy Universe in his or her vaults? And what will happen to Lord Obesitas and Captain Nomnom? Don't miss it - ever!

 

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 19:03 | 3324177 outofhere
outofhere's picture

I guess "The Who" was wrong when they wrote and sang "Won't get fooled again"

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 19:09 | 3324192 notquantumdum
notquantumdum's picture

'"same as the old Boss!"

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 19:35 | 3324219 outofhere
outofhere's picture

"we'll be fighting in the streets!"

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 19:37 | 3324276 notquantumdum
notquantumdum's picture

Then I'll get on my knees and pray.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 19:39 | 3324286 notquantumdum
notquantumdum's picture

" "

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 19:33 | 3324268 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

2 Greeks needed to save Twinkies......Ironic

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 19:58 | 3324330 outofhere
outofhere's picture

Pssst...

  Apollo Global got the 410 Mil from selling Twinkies on Ebay

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 20:37 | 3324428 Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

Ten to one they move the manufacturing to Mexico. Bimbos is taking it by surprise.

 

 

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 20:39 | 3324431 RideTheWalrus
RideTheWalrus's picture

Atlas Shrugged...and his gut wobbled.

 

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 21:14 | 3324522 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

And I thought 2013 was going to be a complete bust.....oh, silly me....

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 21:22 | 3324544 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

Phew! I was worried that there wouldn't be enough fat diabetics in New York City, but with 44 ounce Big Gulps and Twinkies coming back I don't have to worry...

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 22:09 | 3324679 HurricaneSeason
HurricaneSeason's picture

Obama did this, don't forget.  Twinkies are about as American as it gets, they make apple pies too. I knew he'd step up.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 22:36 | 3324747 mt paul
mt paul's picture

super size

 

foot long twinkies 

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 22:45 | 3324773 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

My neighbor sells on EPlay and says the Buyer fraud is pretty thick.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 22:46 | 3324781 lamont cranston
lamont cranston's picture

Oh well, crap. I was hoping that Duchess would get it. They used lard in their honey buns before fear of lawsuits. Smartest people in the confectionery baking biz. Quietly owned and beautifully managed. Privately. As Unknown Hinson sez, "They got HUNEERDS OF DOLLAHS, I TELL YOU HUNNERDS!!!!" 

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 23:22 | 3324873 Jeepers Creepers
Jeepers Creepers's picture

The same would have happened to GM and Chrysler, someone would have bought them, trimmed the 6 figure workers that spend their shift getting high in the parking lot, and life would go on without a massive taxpayer fleecing.

But according to the MSM, Obama saved Chevy, wthout him we'd all be driving rickshaws.

Wed, 03/13/2013 - 01:17 | 3325087 Gamma735
Gamma735's picture

 

Tallahassee will be happy. 
Wed, 03/13/2013 - 03:19 | 3325185 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

Who knows how many Twinkies they will sell but at $8000 each they should easily make a profit. The market has spoken.

Wed, 03/13/2013 - 07:06 | 3325271 22winmag
22winmag's picture

Post-bankruptcy twinkies will be marketed as "rare" pre-bankruptcy twinkies.

Wed, 03/13/2013 - 08:49 | 3325446 d edwards
d edwards's picture

The bursting of the "Twinkie bubble!" Who'd a thunk it?

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