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White Smoke Rises As New Pope Is Elected, Dow Jones Hits New All Time High
Moments ago white smoke emerged from the Sistine Chapel which means that the Cardinals of the Catholic church have elected a new pope on the second day of Conclave. The identity will be revealed shortly. Stocks take this as a bullish signal and hit intraday highs, and for the DJIA, new all time record highs. All is well in the world.
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i am sure if the chimmney fell over it would be a buy signal.
OMFG he just walked out, it's LLOYD BLANKFEIN!
1 million to 1 the bernake steps out.
You mean the "Honorable" Jon Corzine
Where is my comment posted earlier?
Censor in ZH. Another sell out site. It's time to head to the wood.
And this is supposed to be a "Fight Club", or something. It's more like "pussy-foot bending-backwards for the man" club
I think they updated the page, whenever they do that comments disappear. I've seen it happen before totally innocuously.
Just to make sure - fuck the pope.
Ditto...
Tylers....lots of comments disappearing...?!?!
I had several comments in this thread disappear as well.
WTF Tyler?
PS: On further re-reading of this thread after an absence of several hours, MANY comments have been deleted. Just for the record, this is not the first time lately that I have noticed this kind of thing either. I think Tyler owes us an explanation --- is this site now being "moderated", or not? It would be nice to know up front.
It's not just ZH. A ton of financial or economics related sites have been acting funky this afternoon.
I do believe that ZH has girded and dispersed its servers all over the world, including several located in deep underground vaults beneath the Swiss Alps.
Well, it is curious on just how selective the "bug" has been in this thread, selectively deleting all of the more admittedly offensive comments.
It has to have been Tyler(s) doing it. That is of course his/their right, but it would be nice if he/they were forthright about it and admitted that 'moderating'/censoring the comments here is now official policy.
Weird. I post a comment which begins with "Bar-B-Q Pope" and in the New Comments sidebar the only part that displays is "Bar-B-Q".
You're right, TFS --- it seems that almost every comment directly referring to the Pope in this thread have been deleted.
Again, WTF?
Hey, I just made fun on religious line of thought in general, and my comment is gone. Didn't even mention the guy with the funny hat (you know who)
Well FUCK that!
I guess this site has now been co-opted by pro-establishment forces as well.
What next, "Tyler" --- censoring all discussion of gold and bitcoin too? With all forms of anti-government sentiment to follow down the memory hole?
But look at page two. This comment is still there: "Lock up your choirboys, there'll be celebrating in the Vatican tonight."
It's funny as hell, but a bit more offensive than most of the ones that disappeared.
I don't enjoy this moderation shit either. It's like on the Turd's blog ... Tyranny is everywhere.
Julio Iglesias
jacked off in outer space-ias.
Did 69 with the Pope in the butthole,
rammed that sucker head down that throat now.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3vjKJv3yuc
Let's see if this one is banished to oblivion.
What have you done? Now, we all gonna disappear. (it's funny though, he, he)
You guys got it all wrong. It was "immaculate intervention".
God deleted our comments just like he deletes fetuses from "legitimate rapes".
It's hard enough keeping these f'ing heathens honest without all of my brilliant posts disappearing.....
If it's the Racist Al Sharpton, that would fulfill the prophecy that the Devil/Face of Evil gets elected after a transitory Pope.
white smoke-good? that's raciss
It must be 4:20 in Vatican City.
Total papal absorption
Geez I'm waiting for another sign they really picked the guy. I guess we'll really know for sure when another lightning bolt strikes the basilica out of the blue without a cloud in sight and more pigs dive enmasse into Chinese rivers.
Maybe they should vape
LOL
Kudos, dude...
uh..
huh?
This thread is going places! I just hope it's not purgatory!
.
The comment count decrement from earlier values indicates that part of this thread is already in purgatory.
For the love of God, PLEASE don't tell me that that power-mad 'moderator' Ynot2k (who is anything but moderate) from the Kitco forum is now one of the Tylers!
No, I think Bunga, Bunga bought...................no, no I mean won the election. Phew that was close but I think I got away with it.
They are motivated to make up their minds quickly, because each successive day, they are given less to eat, and the comfort of their living accomodations is reduced, until a decision is reached.
I thought the reason is that they might be afraid that every day passes without a papal decision, the Dow would close red. And NOBODY can afford that.
Time to find out who shepherds the flock through armageddon.
No. Prophecy says that this Pope is only the next-to-last. The next Pope does armageddon.
Yeah and the prostitutes are sent away and the liquor dries up.
Well, after all, everyone knows that Lloyd does "God's work".
Actually, since he's late, I wonder if Obama is the new pope?
No you big silly, they said pope not poop.
It may not be Lloyd but make no mistake Lloyd and his masters helped pick him
I'd like to see an audit of the Vatican Bank almost as much as I'd like to see an audit of the gold in Fort Knox.
A Cardinal Rule is always pick a Pope that every Cardinal gets along with.
Lloyd = Caiaphus
No freakin' way . I see the grey hair waving in the wind of
HFT-naked-shorts Providence ....
It's Jamie .....
and if it stays standing it means BUY MOAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I said Pope not dope!
POPE HOPE!
That would be Popium
Pope and change?
Pope-a-dope.
My call: the Argentinian or the Austrian.
.
Yeah, that's what they fire up in the bong to make the white smoke.
We smokum crack pope.
forward, compagni
put that in your pope, and smoke it......................
Stocks get horney when they see the crack of dawn.....
Pope Grillo 2.0
As long as he's not a socialist, i'm ok with whomever they picked.
One of the African frontrunners has repeatedly called for the control of "market forces".
Probably referring to human sex trafficking while scanning down the Vatican budget.
The Pope of hope if you're on dope.
no-that's Israel's market
Them too. Another superstitious, power-hungry group-think crazy-pyramid.
Jerusalem, the true whore of babylon on seven hills.
Caution! It' might be an chinese spy ....
"The pope is the anti-christ in every ways imaginable."
I'd hate to break it to you, but JESUS was the first socialist. In spite of the clap-trap that the right-wing Neocons have done to re-brand him as one of them.
my money's on the italian.
It sure would be the shizz if it's Louis Farrakhan.
How did Goldman insider trade it?
CDS spread trade: country of the new pope vs countries of the other frontrunners?
Weird, I thought the Pope was elected in 2008, and then again in 2012?
no, that was the messiah
The Final Poop!
It's "The Final Poopdown."
Constipation til the apocalypse?
3 TO 1 IT'S THE KNEE GROW
I'll bet you are right though I earlier thought he was the reason for the black smoke.
Lock up your choirboys, there'll be celebrating in the Vatican tonight.
I was bent over laughing at that and then I thought "oh shit".
Oh good, CNN will finally show something else going on in the world instead of a smoke stack doing nothing.
WHAT??? The smoke stack was the first time CNN didn't have biased coverage....oh...wait...breaking news about the white smoke being racist.
Amazing just how focused upon a religious event that the statist atheistic MSM can divert the audience's attention....
False alarm. They're merely burning a few stray copies of 'Ulysses'.
That's not 'Ulysses' smoke, that Darwin's 'On Origin of Species' smoke if I ever saw it!
No way of knowing which of us is correct, but I can list a book that is definitely NOT being incinerated on this fine day: the Mad Magazine classic "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions" -- secretly a big Vatican favorite.
If i remember correctly, there was some kind of false alarm in the early 60's. White smoke, then black smoke, then white smoke.
I believe one hungry cardinal was siezing the opportunity to make himself a quick batch of "s'mores", and overdid it a bit.
Petrus Romanus 3/13/13
That's so effed.
If they did pick the Cardinal Peter or he renames himself Peter, I'm calling a Code Brown -- I will need to change my shorts.
OK, Pope Dick First
Apocalypse is bullish
OMGWTFBBQ!?!
hmmm 13th day of the month was the day of Fatima apparitions also.
Yes...
Hmmmmm
The prophecy coming true....
End of times...
Popcorn..
Don't you mean popecorn?
shit is really going to hit the fan if its peter the roman!
St. Malachy said it'd be a Roman.... I guess we'll get to see how the third secret turns out too...
they love their numerology, don't they?
Sodano is the Cheney of the Vatican... just saying.
Good news! God has had no one to talk to for going on two weeks now.
Pope GRILLO!
"I knew you'd be surprised!" -Frank Zappa
Is it Obama?
This means Biden will become President?
nah...Obama will just be the new "Popedent".
but he will still just be reading from the teleprompter...
When this many shorts are getting roasted on a spit, you could have Teddy Ruckspin reincarnated and the Dow would spike; when you combine the number "stackers" now living off food stamps while short the E/S, any twitch will exacerbate the "SQUEEZE".
NEVER underestimate the replacement power of equities within an inflationary spiral.
And the new Pope's first matter of business is to recommend we all buy more fucking shares.
Buy The Fucking Pope
Handjobs all around, boys!
Ah yes, election of the pederast in chief. Remind me why I should care?
Petreus Romanus. Bring on the end of the fukking world. It's the only thing gonna stop the bullshit.
yep, stop the bullshit and start the real terror.
An Legatus had their annual 2013 pilgrimage gathering the weekend before the previous Pope resigned.
If the Vatican bank is in as bad a shape as rumors have it, they may choose Dolan - if he has any connections in New York.
Think Golman Sachs would come to the rescue of the Vatican Bank? J.P. Morgan Chase? Or would they crush it and hang some people off the Brooklyn Bridge?
They have oodles of cash and other physical assets. Cash flow is not an issue when you have ongoing tax free collections across the globe.
stocks will ramp on anything these days...
a new Pope fixes what exactly?
3-13-13 or palindrome 31313 Auspicious for new Pope? What does 31313 symbolize?
White smoke? Isn't that Rayciss ?
Mazel tov a new pope. Bernake will be so jealous.
Maybe, just maybe, he will be an honorable man, one who will again trurn over the tables on the MONEY CHANGERS and the wrath of God will be released on all the Central Banksters in the world. They will be slaughtered as the ride towards their jets attempting to escape from their palaces to their bunkers. People will rise up in hope and the system will again slant towards those that worked and toiled, rather than from those that manipulated and stole.
Let us pray.
Honorable men last 3 weeks in that job, look it up
You can be sure they won't make that mistake again.
BERNANKE FOR POPE
I love now.
I remember the night Carm Soprano and Father Phil played "Name That Pope"........................
I got Angelo money. How dope is that. Still time 8:15 for a nice dinner in Vat City where the denizens are Vaticanos or Vaticans to the vowelly deficient.
Did the DJIA make a new all time high today? I don't see it.
Must see!!
A NEW POPE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pP1rmsCPbQU
is that a gravity or water bong?
Saint Malarky prophecy states this is the last pope - it is either the end of the world or just another Mayan like prophecy.
No - the next-to-last. In fact, there are multiple prophecies that point to the next Pope being the last and presiding over armageddon. Watch out for anyone with JER in their name....
Who (non government) gives more to the poor than the Catholic Church?
Nobody. But, then again, who [non govt] takes more from the poor than the Catholic Church?
Pope Bunga Bunga ?
Pope No Bunga Bunga. if Obama was Pope he would fix the problem by putting Anal Sex Soap Dispensers in every shower.
Doing Gods work.
Lest you forget, there is no god.
Mazel Tov!
Guido Sarduici? - No wait; that was Italy who elected the comic!
Well, here is my first religious Irish Poem:
Pax Caramella
The Catholics have a new Pope
Who will prosecute bad priests, we hope.
And put them in jail
Without any bail,
And make them bend over for soap!
Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter
Wake wake,they are:
Pax: Vomit Scums!
So they weren't smoking dope or having a barbecue?
that picture has obviously has been photoshopped. where's wm banzai?
I pick either an Italian, the African or the Canadian cardinal.
That was fast. Not enough boys in the "Six Teens" chapel.
And Bishops run Bishopricks...
Hmmmm ers
Well, Benedict was a good dick while it lasted.
Benedickt Bernanktus
XVII
First thing I thought of, just in case you haven't seen it,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7Vjtp8E5o0
My bet - Italian
another broadcast live
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-21777747
No matter how much white smoke,the pope is still:Black!
Meanwhile, I'm watching the back door.
What was it Rhambo said?
Never let pope selection euphoria go to waste.