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Carnival Becoming A Circus As Another Cruise Ship Suffers "Power Outages, Overflowing Toilets"

Tyler Durden's picture


While "this time may be different" for the centrally-planned stock market, every historic example of subsequent ruin notwithstanding, the very recent past is again hitting Carnival Cruise Lines with a vengeance, as one short month after its disabled Triump cruise ship fiasco, in which passengers were trapped on board a filthy ship for five days, the cruise company is forced to suffer through a very humiliating case of deja vu.

Reuters reports, "A Carnival Cruise Lines ship was stuck at port in St. Maarten in the Caribbean on Thursday with equipment trouble, a month after another Carnival vessel was disabled in the Gulf of Mexico by a fire, trapping thousands of passengers for nearly five days. The captain of the Carnival Dream reported a problem with the emergency diesel generator, which controls the ship's propulsion, a U.S. Coast Guard spokesman said. "Right now the passengers are being kept on board the ship for accountability reasons," Doss said. "They were scheduled to leave today so the captain has decided to have everybody remain on board at this time. CNN reported that passengers aboard the Carnival Dream had contacted the cable news channel complaining of power outages and overflowing toilets, tales reminiscent of the troubles on the Carnival Triumph."

And to think the passengers could have just stayed home, opened their E-trade accounts, BTFD, and basked in the glow of the wealth effect, knowing full well at the current rate of Fed liquidity injections they could all soon afford their own private island.

AP has more:

A U.S. Coast Guard spokeswoman in Miami told the Associated Press Thursday that Carnival Dream's captain reported possible trouble with the ship's propulsion system. Petty Officer Sabrina Laberdesque said the ship has sewage and power and officials are working to correct the problems. She says the Coast Guard is not involved because the ship is moored.


Multiple passengers aboard the Carnival Dream told of the unpleasant unfolding situation while docked in port at Philipsburg, St. Maarten.


"We are not allowed off of the boat despite the fact that we have no way to use the restrooms on board," Jonathan Evans of Reidsville, N.C., said in an email early Thursday. "The cruise director is giving passengers very limited information and tons of empty promises. What was supposed to take an hour has turned into seven-plus hours."


Gregg Stark, who is traveling aboard the 1,004-foot liner with his wife and two children, said “human waste” can be found on the floor of some of the ship’s bathrooms and some toilets have overflowed. The ship, which can accommodate up to 3,600 passengers and more than 1,300 crew members, also has mechanical issues.


"The elevators have not been working,” Stark told CNN. “They've been turning them on and off, on and off."


Ship officials announced over the liner’s public address system that they were trying to fix the problem and were working on the generators. A few hours later, another announcement was made, saying the problem was worse than expected, Stark said.


The Dream had been scheduled to leave port at about 5 p.m. ET Wednesday after sailing from Port Canaveral in Florida on Saturday.

At the current pace that Carnival is destroying its business model, pretty soon the only way the company remains viable is if it begins accepting payment with EBTs. Which, we are confident, both the administration and JPMorgan are well ahead of us in developing.


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Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:14 | 3329333 Yellowhoard
Yellowhoard's picture

What a crappy cruise line.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:19 | 3329348 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

The "Love [Canal]" Boat

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:32 | 3329388 SWRichmond
SWRichmond's picture

The captain of the Carnival Dream reported a problem with the emergency diesel generator, which controls the ship's propulsion...

I, for one, would be very interested to know how the emergency diesel generator controls the ship's propulsion.  If the emergency diesel generator were running all the time, and thus relied upon to "control propulsion", it wouldn't really be an "emergency" generator, now would it?  And since vital electrical buses NEVER have only one source of power, one can assume that the bus is powered from the diesel generator only when normal power sources are unavailable.  On the other hand, if there were certain components of the propulsion control system which were powered from the emergency (vital) electrical bus, then that might make some sense.  But then, if the emergency bus, which should normally get its power from normal ship's power systems (and only get power from the emergency generator under...emergencies), needs to be powered from an emergency generator, then there likely ARE problems with other shipboard power systems, and this whole thing makes more sense.

Lying their assess off, they are.

Business relationships should never begin with an insult.  When companies tell bullshit stories, they are insulting us.  The media helps them get away with it.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:57 | 3329489 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

Bring a whole new meaning to "poop deck"

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 12:06 | 3329685 TerminalDebt
TerminalDebt's picture

Its "emergency" because carnival ships are made to only move in emergencies. They are designed to float aimlessly at sea, with no food or running water.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 14:06 | 3330105 nugjuice
nugjuice's picture

Meh, Carnival's not that bad. It serves its purpose. If you're under 30 and single there's no better cheap party boat. I've been on 2 Carnival cruises and hooked up at least half a dozen attractive (and drunk) girls. I even managed a tug job from one of their 'masseuses' while there was only a small room divider separating us from some middle-aged women getting their hair did.

But if you're over 30, or not single, splurge the extra couple hundred bucks and go on Royal Caribbean...where people are only slightly less disgusting

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 15:22 | 3330395 eddymunster
eddymunster's picture

Was the "tug" boat captain's name Steven?

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:12 | 3329522 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

I'm going to wager a lot of these larger boats are diesel/electic drive line.   The shafts (via a reduction gear system) are rotated by electric motors, more than likely powered by a gas turbine/generator for normal operation.  The diesel is the backup electric generator and more than likely will not be able to carry the full bus load of the ships entire electric needs, engineering (steering, making way) will have priority over power to the casino or the HVAC system in a pinch.  

Steam powered boiler/turbine systems are complex and more costly due to increased manpower and maintenance factors.  The USN was phasing out steam when I was a Machinist Mate, albiet that was a while back now.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:37 | 3329603 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Makes you wonder what happened to the PRIMARY generator that they were running on the backup and then the backup failed leaving them utterly SOL.  Redundancy is nice, but when something breaks you still have to fix it before the backup also fails.

How many other Carnival ships have been running around on the high seas on "backup power" and for how long?

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 16:09 | 3330554 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Carnival attorneys:  "Well, it says "carnival" right there on the side of the ship.  What did you expect?"

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 17:27 | 3330776 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

"Would you fly with Drunken Chimp Airways?  Deposit your money in Crazy Clown Bank?  We didn't think so.  Here is your complimentary Carnival coffee cup and there's the door, and come again!"

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 19:23 | 3331134 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

TeamDepends FTW!! :>D

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 14:22 | 3330160 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

This boat must be part of Carnival's "Dreamliner" series of ships:


Dreamliner battery redesign approved by FAA


But the FAA gave no indication of when the planes might be allowed to carry passengers again.

All 50 Dreamliners in operation were grounded after the batteries emitted smoke on several separate occasions.



Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:19 | 3329542 SoundMoney45
SoundMoney45's picture

I suspect the high voltage/power portions of the electrical power systems on these ships require routine maintenance, and that this routine maintenance requires said system to be shutdown.  As the ships are in port for only a few hours between cruises and are powered up, one is inclined to speculate that critical maintenance of high voltage/power systems has been deferred a bit too long.  Perhaps the CFO's spreadsheet was wrong after all. 

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 12:49 | 3329837 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Morons who take cruises sign their lives away.  You might as well take a one week vacation in prison.  You have as many rights and protection in jail then on these floating accidents waiting to happen.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 13:03 | 3329870 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

The company can lie to the media and do all the time, but the captain of the ship cannot lie to the Coast Guard. If as you say he claims they are on emergency power, then the truth is they are without power.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 19:36 | 3331146 Freddie
Freddie's picture

The Coast Guard?  They ran interference in the Gulf of Mexico for stunet oil platform and the cornext poison spewed into the ocean for months.   The Dutch or Norwegians could have fixed it in a week but were told to stay away. 

F O's Coast Guard.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 17:29 | 3330785 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

Carnival Cruise Lines has more than serious toilet 'Outflow' problems... They're having a serious capital 'Outflow' problem...

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 12:40 | 3329797 msmith9962
msmith9962's picture

They are about to launch a new ship too.. "Colostomy Bag of the Seas"

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 13:16 | 3329931 Jena
Jena's picture

More like "Bedpan of the Seas".

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:21 | 3329349 Popo
Popo's picture

Welcome to the party prison. 

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:41 | 3329423 Silver Garbage Man
Silver Garbage Man's picture

Floating FEMA CAMP.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:03 | 3329501 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

haha, you made me spit up my coffee.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:15 | 3329527 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Don’t laugh.. they’re going to want to find some use for those empty things in the post-new normal.

hmm.. Gulag Arcofcarnival?

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 13:05 | 3329880 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Prison ships are a common fixture in history.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:47 | 3329450 LedMizer
LedMizer's picture

Won't let them off the ship?  Seems passengers outnumber crew 3:1.  What's the problem here?

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 12:19 | 3329731 Bicycle Repairman
Bicycle Repairman's picture

The passengers are unarmed.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 12:46 | 3329823 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Passengers are retards for being on a Carnival ship or really any cruise ship.  Carnival is Mickey Arinson and the other big one is the Priztkers aka friend of Obummber.  See a pattern there with these cruise lines?

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 12:27 | 3329761 johngaltfla
johngaltfla's picture

Think about this wonderful cruise as I love that island it is a blast.


On the Dutch side the street vendors sell cold Heiniken for a $1 a bottle to tourists while you shop and some pretty fun beach clubs at night.


On the French side topless Euro hotties, excellent food, great wine selections.


At port the Carnival customers get to shit in plastic bags and watch the fun everyone else is having.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 16:01 | 3330516 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

The more I read about Carnival the more i think I'm giving my Mother-in-Law a free cruise ticket on Carnival for this summer.


What better way to say, "I love you too."

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:22 | 3329368 zuuma
zuuma's picture

Hopefully, the trapped passengers will react the same way that Brooklyn's apartment dwellers did during the "sandy" hurricane.

They'll crap & piss in the hallways, then return to their rooms.

There! Problem solved. I feel better!

During disasters, people are always awesome!

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:29 | 3329390 Sauk Leader
Sauk Leader's picture


Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:23 | 3329371 Bryan
Bryan's picture

Aye.  Maybe Cap'n Crunch is piloting these boats.


Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:32 | 3329399 Lewshine
Lewshine's picture

Crappy cruise line? Not according to the stock price - The bigger these cruiseline disasters become the higher their stock value. So I ask you...Who really gives a shit??

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:40 | 3329613 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

The passengers.  Literally.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:16 | 3329529 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Who would be stupid enough to get on one of those.  Fools.  they probably sit at home being brainwashed by TV/Hollywood while shoving corncobs....

F Carnival and their Israeli owners.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 13:14 | 3329926 ElvisDog
ElvisDog's picture

Another example of why the "mega cruise ships catering to the middle class" is a dying business model. They can't raise prices because the middle class itself is being squeezed and doesn't have as much discretionary income as it used to. Meanwhile, their costs (particularly fuel and food costs) are going up. So, the only way they can stay in business and fill their ships is to cut other costs, primarily maintenance, refurbishment, and wages for their crew. Problem with that is the "cruise experience" for their passengers just gets crappier and crappier.

In the future, cruise ships will be relatively small and will cater to the wealthy. The middle class (what's left of it) won't be able to afford to go on cruises.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 13:37 | 3330000 Freddie
Freddie's picture

+1 Elvis

Same syndrome with Wal Mart.  Hope & Change has wrecked the middle class but Arinson and the Pritzkers are Obama type supporters. 

These ship have no maint, cruise really slow to save fuel, cut corners on everything else, make the morons who take cruise sign all their rights away.   There is also WAY too much capacity aka too many ships and not enough fools.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:18 | 3329344 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

I guess this is what happens when you pack 5,000 people into a glorified floating sardine can. "What if we built a boat with an infrastructure sized for 2,000 people, but packed 5,000 people on it instead?"

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:24 | 3329373 Sauk Leader
Sauk Leader's picture

I am sure they will get a voucher towards their next cruise. To be fair it gets a little roomier along the way, usually there are a couple of people that go missing.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:07 | 3329514 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

Yeah, day three the shows have good seating at last, because half the people are in their cabins, acting like root-beer dispensers.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:17 | 3329534 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Fat idiots shitting all over the hallways.   Who in their right mind would go on these ship?   RETARDS.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 13:54 | 3330067 msmith9962
msmith9962's picture

You should write marketing material for Carnival.  Hardest I've laughed all day.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 19:25 | 3331137 Freddie
Freddie's picture

LOL!   :-)

It is beyond absurd that anyone in their right ****ing mind would subject themselves to Carnival's voyages of the damned.  If the USA had any laws or regulations - these criminals would be shut down.  The elites just get away with everything.


Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:17 | 3329537 Matt
Matt's picture

The Navy packs a lot of people onto aircraft carriers, and I haven't heard too many horror stories of them dfrifting at sea for days without power or sewage systems. I suspect a lack of proper maintenance, in the name of maximizing profit, is the real culprit here.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:44 | 3329627 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

All US carriers are nuclear-powered.  They don't skimp on maintenance because you don't want to know what happens if you have a little "ooppsie" with a nuclear reactor.  (think:  Fukushima, Chernobyl, Three Mile Island, etc.)

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 12:55 | 3329846 Citxmech
Citxmech's picture

That's my bet:  They're deferring maintenance to (ahem) "keep afloat."  On my news channel this morning they mentioned that the ship would hold 5k passengers but that the cruise line did not report the actual number of passengers. . . Betcha they don't want it known that there are only something like 473 people on this floating disaster.

Cruise lines, like the airlines, are going to go the way of the Dodo.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 17:41 | 3330834 PrintemDano
PrintemDano's picture

Sailors also work their asses off in the engineering spaces.  No union rules....

A little biased former submarine sailor but it's the truth!

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:19 | 3329350 PMakoi
PMakoi's picture

I took a Carnival cruise.  Once.  That was more than enough.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 12:07 | 3329696 zapdude
zapdude's picture

Same here.  We actually were on the Triumph one year before it died in the Gulf.  That ship's best days had long since past and was a floating accident waiting to happen.  It was a cheap vacation, we quickly found out why.

As for their latest dead ship incident, there are far worse places to be stranded than St. Maarten.  It is a truly beautiful island with the south half of island is Dutch and the north is French.  Don't be surprised they make you pay to use the public toilets!

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:20 | 3329353 falak pema
falak pema's picture

costa concordia and floating turds! 

Not a recipe for Denmark's top restauraunt; NOMA!

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:51 | 3329461 duo
duo's picture

all hands to the poop deck!

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:20 | 3329356 Hedgetard55
Hedgetard55's picture

Looks top heavy to me.


A good metaphor for the FED's balance sheet.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:21 | 3329358 Rusty Diggins
Rusty Diggins's picture

somewhere an albatross hangs from a neck.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:21 | 3329359 pain_and_soros
pain_and_soros's picture

With mishaps like this, will Carnival stay afloat?  or will these accidents sink the company?

They've been awash with bad news lately don't forget Costa Concordia was part of the Carnival group.  That disaster weighed them down like an anchor...

Bon Voyage!

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 12:50 | 3329838 secret_sam
secret_sam's picture

Based on the folks I've met who've done it, I don't think the demographic that goes on Carny cruises keeps up with current events.  I doubt this will impact their ticket sales much.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:21 | 3329361 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

I've never seen the point of a cruise. If I'm going on vacation to enjoy the sun and sea, why the hell would I want to be trapped on a floating prison with 5,000 strangers, listening to shitty music, eating shitty food, and potentially coming down with dysentery?

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:22 | 3329367 Rusty Diggins
Rusty Diggins's picture

You forgot the date rape, don't forget the date rape.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:28 | 3329386 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

Who wouldn't want to be treated like a mark by every native, shit blood from the parasites in the local water, deal with the local wildlife and that is just what decides to take up residence in your hotel room. It is like going to the zoo without having to spend time in the baboon cage.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:34 | 3329409 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

When I die if there is a hell it is going to be in the form of being trapped on a Carnival Cruise ship filled with lame white people who can't even dance to Montego Bay or the chicken dance without fucking it up somehow. And they will be doing it while the toilets are backflowing onto the dance floor blissfully unaware. Oh wait.....

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:17 | 3329532 Rusty Diggins
Rusty Diggins's picture

Sounds like the next Chuck Plalahniuk novel to me.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 13:09 | 3329898 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

No different than staying at home in the suburbs. Well except for all the water.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 13:26 | 3329967 ElvisDog
ElvisDog's picture

What people like about cruises include that it's all-you-can-eat, and you can get something to eat 24 hours a day. It's an easy vacation in that your room, restaurants, and bars are all in one place. Plus, people perceive that it's a bargain because theoretically (if you didn't drink alcohol) you can vacation for a relatively low cost per day.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 17:35 | 3330810 Almost Solvent
Almost Solvent's picture

Anyone who really drinks knows all the tricks - fill up empty large listerine/shampoo/conditioner bottles with liquor before you depart & fill up large soda bottles on the islands with liquor for when you reboard.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:22 | 3329362 csmith
csmith's picture

Remember the old McDonalds ad with the guys dancing with the mops?

"At McDonalds its CLEAN!"

Carnival should take a lesson.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 14:40 | 3330232 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Yes, a classic!

Probably more white guys in a McDonald's uniform in this commercial, than there are in the entire country nowadays.


Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:24 | 3329374 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

If they didn't let me off the boat I would drop my pants and shit right on the deck. 

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:29 | 3329389 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

Gives a whole new meaning to a poop deck.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:32 | 3329400 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

+1 LOL

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:36 | 3329414 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

You put that fastball right over the sweet spot of the plate....

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:52 | 3329468 duo
duo's picture

didn't post fast enough.  you beat me to  the poop deck.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:25 | 3329375 Jason T
Jason T's picture

this is all the result of a collapse in cap ex investment and a bonanza in divdends and share buyback programs.


every in the West is going this route.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:21 | 3329545 Matt
Matt's picture

I don't know if I would consider regularly scheduled maintenance to be Cap Ex investment ...

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 13:11 | 3329905 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

In the run down to our entropic twilight, -- it is.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:25 | 3329376 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

Cousin Eddie: "SHITTER WAS FULL!"

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:29 | 3329391 Its_the_economy...
Its_the_economy_stupid's picture

Spreading contagion w 5000 of my closet friends. A dream vacation come true.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:30 | 3329393 yabyum
yabyum's picture

Keeping passengers on board against there will is enslavement I would rather be having lunch and a nice drink in St Marteen. Watching your turds flush away is also a bonus. Fuck Carnival, can this bastard be shorted?

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:30 | 3329394 Rainman
Rainman's picture

Salt water eats the shit out of all ocean-going vessels. Periodic major overhauls in drydock are mandatory and very expensive. I'll play a wild hunch they are skimping regular maintenace to hit the quarterly earnings projections. These ships earn zero in drydock. 

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 13:14 | 3329921 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

That was my immediate thought on reading the headline.

One of these fuckers is gonna blow a boiler -- or flat out sink -- and people are going to die. And when that happens the Carny executive team will laugh, take their bonuses and go find something else they can fucking ruin at 100% return.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:51 | 3329395 Ljoot
Ljoot's picture

... “human waste” can be found on the floor of some of the ship’s bathrooms and some toilets have overflowed.


Sounds like most public restrooms.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:30 | 3329396 tony bonn
tony bonn's picture

i would be willing to bet that greedy corporate fascist whores decided that they could save money by omitting certain maintenance tasks or staff which some whiz kid mba proposed as a way to boost profits...

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 14:58 | 3330307 Antifaschistische
Antifaschistische's picture

Carnival's model is for a certain market...that's it.  It doesn't make them greedy or fascist.  They are the low end of the low end.   Low end people deserve to go on vacation...but they don't deserve high end service, high end equipment or high end accomodations.   Just like Greyhound...have you been in one of those "terminals"?  why complain.....take an airplane.


Thu, 03/14/2013 - 15:02 | 3330322 Antifaschistische
Antifaschistische's picture

now I'll reply to my reply..

..the problem with today's low income demographic is that they have been convinced that they "deserve" first class service.   Just like Air Force One.   It's a right.   I sat behind an Obama Follower on a return flight from LA last week and she pressed the "service" button 4 times during the flight.   The flight crew was very annoyed with her...but she deserved service NOW.  water NOW.  refill NOW.  blanket NOW.   Welcome to Parasite Nation.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 18:02 | 3330899 PrintemDano
PrintemDano's picture

I suspect the corporate whores don't have a clue why maintenance is necessary and feel it is a  waste of money.  They are clueless about things mechanical, electrical and chemical.   I'm certain the engineering budget is slashed to zilch so the whores can reap their temporary profits.   

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:32 | 3329401 Stonedog
Stonedog's picture

It seems like Carnival is trying to corner the market on Nightmare, Misery Cruises vacation market...

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:32 | 3329402 Intoxicologist
Intoxicologist's picture

Shits Ahoy!

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:33 | 3329404 Fox-Scully
Fox-Scully's picture

Well they now have time to make sure that they have two of everything before the rains hit.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:33 | 3329407 MajorWoody
MajorWoody's picture

Why in the helck would anyone want to cram into a boat full of porkers anyway?  Stuff yer face full o crab legs, pinch a massive loaf into the demper, pull on the stretch pants, its all good.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:35 | 3329410 MagicHandPuppet
MagicHandPuppet's picture

Up Shit Creek!

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:04 | 3329503 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

ahh, good to see another fan of The Bard!  Sir, by chance were you referring to:

Up shit creek
in a chicken-wire boat

too thick to sink
too thin to float.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:38 | 3329419 Its_the_economy...
Its_the_economy_stupid's picture

So lemme tell you about my highschool classmates cruize from hell 5 years ago. Seems they boarded in Baltimore w 20-some members of their family for a cruize down to the islands w their 80-odd YO patrician of the family. Everything seemed great till the ships denizens all got food poisoning. Everyone vomiting everywhere, nigh on a thousand vacationers sick to death. The Patrician so ill that the ship's doctor called a chopper to get him off the boat to a hospital.

The Captain made the the phillipino kitchen staff try everyfoodstuff that had been served till they couls isolate the cause. The lucky cook that had to eat the smoked salmon won the lottery and it was all tossed overboard.

Sign me up.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:18 | 3329535 a growing concern
a growing concern's picture

Yeah, fuck that. I would literally rather take a pile of cash and set it on fire than spend it to be stuck in a 80 square foot room in the middle of the ocean gorging myself on frozen meals and getting worked over by the local pickpockets. Oh, and hurling and/or shitting my brains out. If I want to get that experience, I can just go to my local Chinese buffet for about 8 bucks.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:44 | 3329435 Its_the_economy...
Its_the_economy_stupid's picture

somebody working in the industry, or just talking their book?

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:45 | 3329441 GrinandBearit
GrinandBearit's picture

Shit happens.


Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:49 | 3329447 bugs_
bugs_'s picture

coming to a land based circus near you.

you may not leave due to "accountability reasons".

I just had a thought for a new business "Carnival Escapes" for a fee we will catch you when you jump over the side and then we will take you home.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:48 | 3329449 Professordoomfinger
Professordoomfinger's picture

Shall we break out the confinement loaf, Captain?


Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:49 | 3329454 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

"Welcome to Carnival's 'Fabulous Floating Fecal Tour'. I am Captain Runz and will be your host. Please take advantage of our complimentary galoshes and waste bags on offer at the Saloon deck."



Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:52 | 3329469 G_T_A_44
G_T_A_44's picture

"And to think the passengers could have just stayed home, opened their E-trade accounts, BTFD, and basked in the glow of the wealth effect, knowing full well at the current rate of Fed liquidity injections they could all soon afford their own private island."



Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:53 | 3329471 CaptainSpaulding
CaptainSpaulding's picture

Circus? Hmmm

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:58 | 3329490 Lendo
Lendo's picture

Cruises sounded bad 5 years ago and now they just sound awful.

I'd much rather go to Ireland, rent a car, and see the countryside while staying at bed & breakfasts along the way.  You couldn't pay me to be trapped on a boat with strangers and the potential to be stranded at sea with no food or electricity for weeks.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 13:18 | 3329940 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Cruises are for people who wish they had a butler at home.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:00 | 3329497 Stuart
Stuart's picture

Canival's launching a new ship:  SS Minnow.


Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:02 | 3329500 rsnoble
rsnoble's picture

Guess I know what to pack on a cruise.  Jack Daniels, snicker bars and clean underwear. 

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:34 | 3329525 Lendo
Lendo's picture

They rifle through your shit like the TSA before you board and look for "forbidden" items such as weapons and booze.

People have been smuggling vodka in mouthwash bottles and using food color to bring on board.  

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 17:41 | 3330832 Almost Solvent
Almost Solvent's picture

Yup. Mouthwash large bottles are perfect. And then large soda bottles on the islands for when you reboard.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:06 | 3329511 Gimp
Gimp's picture

What the public does not know about these cruise ships all flying flags convenience/banana republics.  is most do not have engineering officers on board.

If there is an electrical problem they take a picture of the issue - i.e burn't out fuse box - email it back to shore side where one engineer is responsible for all ships.

Engineer shore side will recommend fix and send back to ship so the low paid flunkys in  the engine room can fix the problem.  It saves money!


Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:08 | 3329518 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

We are all on that cruise.

Captain Ben on the bridge of the SS Federal Reserve,

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:25 | 3329557 Bansters-in-my-...
Bansters-in-my- feces's picture

Wow..... Thats a long way out to sea before no Chemtrails are visible on the skyline.

Wish my sky was that blue.

I would even put up with a broken down cruise ship to see that sky.


Ps fuck yous chemtrail sprayers  I hope yous die a miserable and

prolonged death.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:25 | 3329561 edifice
edifice's picture

Man, people today are completely disconnected from reality...  Produce a makeshift chamberpot, throw it overboard every morning.  Very simple.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:54 | 3329655 Hongcha
Hongcha's picture

Flatulent, ignorant, adipose white people bitching and retching over the side.  LOLMAO.  And they fuck off for seven hours in port while a pleasant town sits 500 yards away.  Idiots.

My short position blows.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:52 | 3329656 Debugas
Debugas's picture

they hire staff from all around the world and pay them $1000-$2000 per month. Many new comers suffer from acclimatization and fell ill during their first month.

workers do not stay there for long - half a year tops

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 12:11 | 3329711 free market dreamer
free market dreamer's picture

wtf??? "Right now the passengers are being kept on board the ship for accountability reasons," Doss said. "They were scheduled to leave today so the captain has decided to have everybody remain on board at this time."


So the captain dictates whether people get off the boat and continue on with their lives...??? What would happen if I said f.u capatain, i'm calling a taxi...or... swim to shore... or... Anyone else catch this? I'm sure everyone just said, "Yes sir captain, anything you want..."

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 12:26 | 3329760 earnulf
earnulf's picture

And the folks who "jump ship" scream loudest as it sails out to sea without them (it was supposed to leave today) and sue for being "left behind".

I actually agree that I would not stay on board, but rather avail myself of working toilets and reasonably clean food on land.    But then again if folks are taking pictures of the filth and problems, they need to be emailing those pics as evidence for the lawsuits they can try to file (yea, read the fine print).

It does make sense, the Captain is responsible for the passengers, now if they want to sign a waiver, they can step off, but if they aren't back on board when we leave, it's their problem on how to get home.

No matter what, Carnival is in line for another class action lawsuit



Thu, 03/14/2013 - 13:32 | 3329984 ElvisDog
ElvisDog's picture

How exactly are you going to get off those ships? Are you going to jump 50 feet into the water in your clothes and swim to shore? Sure, you are. If they say you don't get off, you don't get off.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 12:15 | 3329722 hannah
hannah's picture

personally...and this is just me.....i love the smell of thousands of overflowing toilets. shit on the walls makes me happy. rotten food and vomit just make my day.


thats why i book my vacation on carnival cruise lines EVERY year....!

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 12:47 | 3329737 Lord Of Finance
Lord Of Finance's picture

'Come aboard, their expecting you . . .'



  All these "vacationers" get what they deserve. How is it a vacation to pack into a crowded boat, to sleep in a cabin smaller then a jail cell and then puke before you start drinking?


 Or hop in a crowded plane. Then go to some overcrowded resort to wait in endless lines for your entertainment get-a-way.


Or sit in a 3 hour traffic jam to get to an even more overcrowded local beach resort. 


Oh, how the masses are such a bunch of dumbasses!


'Real vacationers know to head for the mountains!'




Thu, 03/14/2013 - 12:27 | 3329763 uno
uno's picture

carnival needs a marketing campaign 'experience living in the Superdome during Katrina while at sea'

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 12:31 | 3329774 wildstylechef
wildstylechef's picture

Carnival and the people that vacation with them deserve each other. People that vacation with them are as useful as shitting in a paper bag. The reason the take vacations in cruise ships is so they don't get lost and even then they still do. They proudly proclaim how many overpaid voyages they have taken to the realm of 50-100. They have tantrums if their favorite cereals are out of stock and complain to the captain (occurred when the tsunami hit Thailand and hundreds of thousands of people died). They eat soooo much they need electric scooters to get around.

Carnival demands a 25% profit from operations, yet pay massive discounts for their food produce and receive their alcohol duty and tax free. As in a bottle of rum, vodka, gin 750 ml costs 2.25$. What do they charge the customers??? 5-7 $ per drink. They confiscate any alcohol brought on board and give it to you when you get off.

Employes are governed by department and rank. officers are mostly European  and the engineering and navigation departments get a union and best pay @ 5-10,000 per month 2 months on 2 weeks off. Heads of departments run their departments like fiefdoms as out to sea the only law is the Captain. The rest are 5 months on 2 months off NO DAYS OFF

cooks, waiters, room cleaners, bar staff, navigation and engineering help are all from third world countries; Philippine's, Indonesian, Hungarians, etc are paid a pittance as in 500-700 dollars a month

1 YEAR contracts NO DAYS OFF.

So lets say there is a down turn in the economy and the company has to deal with idiot Captains like the Costa, then they need to come up with ways to keep the 25% profit and the only way to do that is by cutting costs. One of those is the Maintenance cost and the idea that propulsion runs ff the emergency generator is a joke. normally you have 5 diesel generators and the ship can run on 3, so that means they have 3 out of 5 generators down!

I wouldn't get on those ships if you paid me to take a vacation on them.

The 5 star cruise ships like Crystal and others that is a different thing all together but they are 300- 500 a day

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 13:04 | 3329875 Freddie
Freddie's picture


Yeah - cruise ship passengers, especially Carnial, are retards.  I have been in line with them at Fort Lauderdale, Orlando and a few other airports.  Like you said - they are usually fat pigs who gorge on the crappy free food like hogs.  For some bozarre or peverse reason they enjoy being on a rusting hulk with fellow fat retards as they all eat like pigs. 

Their voyagaes of the damned on these cattle cars is like a badge of honor for these retards.  I hear the banter of these idiots at the airport about how they were on that ship last time, etc.  I want to puke being in line with these fat asses.  I have pretty much cut out any flying because of jerkoffs like this plus TSA groping. 

I think these cruise line retards like it because it is like a floating Wal Mart and casino in one with a free buffett. They like being around fellow retards with the same mind(less)set.  They also think it is glamorous because the ship has an elevator and staircase plus real like Broadway style enetertainment and shows.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 13:44 | 3329997 ElvisDog
ElvisDog's picture

The cruise ship shows can be good, because there is always one topless, "adult review" and some of the female cruise directors can be pretty hot.

Now, the flip side of that is it's just one more layer of degradation if you work on a cruise ship. If you're a woman, you might have to show your tits to strangers.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 19:42 | 3331163 Freddie
Freddie's picture

LOL!  Well idiots who go on these "cruises" like degradation including shitting in plastic bags in the hallways. 

How gross is that? 

Other adventures is women passengers might get raped by some third world crewhand. Or you might get thrown over board by mistake.  Or some norvovisrus might break out.

Anyone dumb enough to sign their life and rights away to get on one of these Titanic's waiting to happen is a total moron.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 12:46 | 3329822 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

Carnival Cruise - getting to experience the "Red Roof/Scottish Inn Drug-hotel" with no means of driving off in disgust.  And people pay for this shit?.......

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 13:27 | 3329968 Intoxicologist
Intoxicologist's picture

Cruises:  If you think you hate people on land,.......

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 14:16 | 3330132 evernewecon
evernewecon's picture





Thu, 03/14/2013 - 14:15 | 3330142 e-recep
e-recep's picture

these cruise ships have grown to enormous sizes within the last 10 years. also, the cabins got smaller allowing for more passengers. all these efforts were done to fight growing costs against stagnating trip prices. but the profit margin is still dwindling as the printing presses of central banks all over world keep churning out paper fiat pushing the costs to higher levels.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 14:27 | 3330178 Intoxicologist
Intoxicologist's picture

Alternate headline:

More Pigs Discovered Floating in the Port of St Maartin

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 14:35 | 3330212 Gimp
Gimp's picture

Carnival is renowned for being inexpensive (cheap) in the cruise industry.

You get what you pay for.....

Research how Micky Arinson's family started the cruise line...All you need to know.


Thu, 03/14/2013 - 15:03 | 3330330 Money 4 Nothing
Money 4 Nothing's picture

Sounds like a really shitty trip if you ask me..

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