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Cognitive Dissonance Of The Day: "Don't Be Depressed", Just Ignore Reality

Tyler Durden's picture





 

For all those who have the displeasure of trying to reconcile the cognitive dissonance of a record high stock market, and European employment at 2006 levels, here is some more fuel to the fire from Germany's Finance Minister:

  • SCHAEUBLE SAYS 'NO REASON TO BE DEPRESSED' ON ECONOMIC OUTLOOK

This is precisely the pep talk that the just announced record high number of unemployed Greek and Spanish youth needs.

 

 

Chart: Bloomberg

 


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Thu, 03/14/2013 - 09:44 | Link to Comment spastic_colon
spastic_colon's picture

just think S&P 1700 and you will feel better / s

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 09:46 | Link to Comment Haus-Targaryen
Haus-Targaryen's picture

you're missing a zero.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:07 | Link to Comment Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

See? There's a bull market somewhere!!

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:22 | Link to Comment Pareto
Pareto's picture

and i promise to find one just for you.  i'm jim the fucktard kramer, and i'll see you tomorrow!

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:43 | Link to Comment Manthong
Manthong's picture

It is going to be a very hot summer in Greece.

Have a tall, cool Löwenbräu, Herr Schaeuble.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:20 | Link to Comment NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

File Under: Stuff Managements Have Told Us.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:28 | Link to Comment Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

That sure is a nice linear growth trend. They are so easy to project into the future! We are right on target for 100% Greek youth unemployment in September 2016.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 13:47 | Link to Comment Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

110% if one projects linearly....ahem

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 09:48 | Link to Comment ihedgemyhedges
ihedgemyhedges's picture

Let them eat cake (or Chinese river pork gyros).....

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 09:58 | Link to Comment Dexter Morgan
Dexter Morgan's picture

Let them eat horses!

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:23 | Link to Comment McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Let them eat Ikea Poop Cake.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:55 | Link to Comment uno
uno's picture

while smoking kitty litter cigars

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 09:45 | Link to Comment Squishi
Squishi's picture

Buy Insurance!

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 09:47 | Link to Comment Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture

The definition of insane.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:14 | Link to Comment Bangin7GramRocks
Bangin7GramRocks's picture

This guy could toss a bum's salad and convince himself that it was an ice cream cone!

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 09:47 | Link to Comment Cdad
Cdad's picture

Commentary from Schaeuble is endorsed by the Ministry of Plenty.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 09:52 | Link to Comment SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Don't worry! Be happy mon, DOW gwan up another +50 YA MON! Roll up de spliff!

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 09:49 | Link to Comment EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

So, it looks like today will be - what - the TENTH consecutive record breaking session in a row.

Whoever is sitting with his hands on the controls... he doesn't think he's slightly overdoing this? I mean, I go to the casino, there's fuck all chance I will win 10 times in a row putting it all on black.

But hey, apparently not even basics of statistics apply to the equities markets.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 09:51 | Link to Comment Haus-Targaryen
Haus-Targaryen's picture

You win 10x in a row, the hotel will be offering you free lobster dinners, hookers, and blow sooooooooooooo quickly to get you TF out of their Casino it will make your head spin. 

 

Oddddddddd ..... this sounds very similar to the S&P.  Apparently what happens in Vegas now says in NEw York.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:09 | Link to Comment El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

10 days on top of FOUR years,  1460 + 10  = 1470 Nice Rig.  

1352 stock riggers  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4p7prURvIk

 

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:28 | Link to Comment McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

This isn't a normal casino. In this casino, the bosses control the games and change the rules whenever and however they want, and those bosses have been told by their bosses to let the customers win ten in a row.

Eventually they'll be told to rip the customers' faces off.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 12:55 | Link to Comment Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Bernanke is keeping his play on BLACK. Somone will have to physically remove him from the controls. Pry his hands off of the joy stick.

I do actually think that even the banks are starting to question Bernanke's strategy and behavior. I mean Greenspan actually admitted to it publicly on CNBC...much to Fat Maria's shock. Now on CNBC everyone just assumes the Fed buying 85B a month is acceptable.

The baks don't mind if they get bailed out for 5 years....just don't go on TV and tell everybody how you are doing it. The peasants might revolt.

To maintain any credibility, this ES needs a good, hard, 2% retracement. That'll keep 'em honest.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 09:50 | Link to Comment q99x2
q99x2's picture

Don't let Ratheon know the kids are looking for something do do. I mean to do.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 09:54 | Link to Comment Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Ummmmmm.......excuse me, but did someone ring?

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 09:55 | Link to Comment Jim in MN
Jim in MN's picture

YesNoYesNoYesNoYesNoYesNoYesNo  etc

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:33 | Link to Comment Drachma
Drachma's picture

There once was a message more precious than gold

But the ears it fell upon, their attention they did withhold

You see the message didn't appeal to their crafted ideal

And so the death of the messenger's foretold

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 09:53 | Link to Comment Tsar Pointless
Tsar Pointless's picture

In other cognitive dissonance news, Bloomberg Comfort Index in highest reading since last April.

http://www.econoday.com/economic-calendar.aspx

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 09:54 | Link to Comment BobPaulson
BobPaulson's picture

That graph should be labelled: Brewing Violent Insurrection.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 09:59 | Link to Comment Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Too broke to fill up the Molotovs.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:08 | Link to Comment BobPaulson
BobPaulson's picture

I get the impression from my visits to Greece that theft is not a completely alien practice there. The first taxi I rode there made that abundantly clear.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:22 | Link to Comment Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

The Joker likes gasoline because it's cheap.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:30 | Link to Comment McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

If only there were a Dollar Menu for molotov cocktails...

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 09:55 | Link to Comment Jim in MN
Jim in MN's picture

He's right, you know....

 

...Revolutionary fervor is not depression.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 09:56 | Link to Comment e m m
e m m's picture

Looks like the fair price will be discovered at another new all time high today. Web crawling sentiment analysis strategies must be throwing positive signals thanks to the new pope. But if there are really bears out there that are throwing in the towel because of these, they look equivalently gay.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:52 | Link to Comment Key-Rick
Key-Rick's picture

Finally, someone has the good sense to mention the President Of Pedophiles Everywhere.  We need some distraction from all this Wall Street euphoria.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:03 | Link to Comment JailBank
JailBank's picture

This shouldn't be a problem.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:12 | Link to Comment MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

I like the arrow on that chart. In case you are too fucking dense, or denial has you by the throat, THE YOUTH UNEMPLOYMENT ARROW IS GOING IN AN UPWARDS DIRECTION, MY FELLOW BITCHEZ!

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:27 | Link to Comment falak pema
falak pema's picture

can you imagine all those young guys with hard ons and nothing to wet their teeth/teats on! 

Awesome waste of glandular thick paste. Poetry of lust gone dark in sterile dust notwithstanding.

"That was the greatest crime of all...then you fall great Caesar, in the potent semen of Pompei's statue... or is it his piss?"

Such be the fate of Oligarchs who make a young generation jerk off into sweet nothings of unemployment hibernation. Their rage is all the more vengeful. 

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:14 | Link to Comment Broomer
Broomer's picture

It started to explode in Mar-Apr 2009.

It's also very regular. Some powerful force is operating here.

I wonder what is the cause.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:37 | Link to Comment DOT
DOT's picture

Causality or triviality doesn't matter It's Funny:  http://tinyurl.com/clb6tl3


Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:20 | Link to Comment Lewshine
Lewshine's picture

The Fed understands the power of advertising, and it is on this concept the market continues to advertise itself. Ben figures each point towards the heavens is worth X, and will force Y to make an investment. You have to remember, we are called consumers for a reason - Pound the public long enough and they will take the bait. Its just a matter of time before we read: "Middleclass investor comes back". That's what this whole rally is about. The Fed always wins - Always! 

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:28 | Link to Comment Winston of Oceania
Winston of Oceania's picture

All central planners go out this way, throughout time. The people will only stand for so much and then no one will trust banks, they will keep their money and worthless script to themselves as credit and bank accounts will regain it's loathsome regard.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 12:24 | Link to Comment Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Define "wins". It the long run we are all....well you know...

The Bernanke ain't gonna win....but the US taxpayer will lose.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:21 | Link to Comment Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Maybe they need to wear a white bracelet to remind them of their white privilege.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:36 | Link to Comment yrad
yrad's picture

I'm at the airport headed to Ireland. Pray for me.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:53 | Link to Comment e-recep
e-recep's picture

happy TSA groping.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:35 | Link to Comment Lord Blankcheck
Lord Blankcheck's picture

And Gov shakedown when you return.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:17 | Link to Comment Vooter
Vooter's picture

I love Ireland. Of course, I don't love the TSA or flying...

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 12:22 | Link to Comment Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

The Guinness IS actually better over there.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:38 | Link to Comment lunaticfringe
lunaticfringe's picture

Well....until they lose.

The grand experiment is just about over. I fully expect the STHF at the end of the year when the perfect storm arrives. Americans will feel the sodomy of a government gone mad. Your Obamacare will cost 15k a family. Only the dirt poor will get a break. The FED will be stuck with 4 trillion in treasury and mortgage debt. The debt will be over 17T and interest rates will be rising. Inflation and yields cannot be massaged or hidden any longer.The sodomite will leave office and Nero will be on the golf course next Jan.

It's gonna be great. I can't wait to hear the liberal fucktard whine. It will be awesome!

 

 

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:59 | Link to Comment Bingfa
Bingfa's picture

+1 and everybody I know... we just think it will reach boiling temperature this summer.

They got no where to go from here....

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:34 | Link to Comment W74
W74's picture

Inner-city violence actually hit a trough last year in terms of wanton assaults, rapes, armed robberies and flash-mobs.  Murders were still high.  The rest of the "lesser" crimes will pick back up in a hurry and the flash mobs we saw in 2011 will cycle back into occurrance.  Shopkeepers had a break last summer, this summer they'll feel the storm. 

My biggest hope is that a few intrepid shop keepers (even better if Korean or Indian instead of 'evil Whitey') cap a handful of Trayvons with unpaid for bags of Chips and Pepsis in their hands and hoodie pockets.  Let the world see the footage and let the US take sides along the oh-so-obvious battle lines.  Team A will shout "dey wuz a bunch uh guud boyz who di'int do nuffinz" and Team B will point out the footage and proof yet still get reamed by the mainstream media.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:47 | Link to Comment Bingfa
Bingfa's picture

Oklahoma house of Representatives pass Obamacare nullification bill.....

http://www.thenewamerican.com/usnews/item/14773-oklahoma-house-of-repres...

Red state-----Blue state.... divide and conquer

Guns and Obamacare

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 14:47 | Link to Comment eddymunster
eddymunster's picture

We can only hope (and change) he mirrors nero.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:54 | Link to Comment Bingfa
Bingfa's picture

Colorado Democrats are ready to spark a revolution....

http://freedomoutpost.com/2013/03/gun-control-colorado-democrats-are-rea...

This is a preview of your summer....along with Obamacare surprises....

 

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:04 | Link to Comment shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Who needs a gun when you can beat the evildoers with bongs?

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:59 | Link to Comment e-recep
e-recep's picture

the streets and the squares are full of people walking. they sometimes sit down at coffee shops and sip their €2-3 coffees for hours, then start walking again. most of them are in their 20s and early 30s. man, this generation is totally fucked. they have no savings, no jobs, no kids, nothing.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:27 | Link to Comment W74
W74's picture

Yes, and eventually those aimless walkers will coalesce into not-so-aimless mobs once people start sitting down and 'really' talking to each other. 

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:04 | Link to Comment rsnoble
rsnoble's picture

There's no time to be depressed when you have to spend all day looking for scraps of food in dumpsters it occupies your mind. 

If anyone doesn't understand why the US wants to get rid of guns BEFORE this happens in the states you're not thinking very clearly.

http://politicaloutcast.com/2013/01/illinois-considers-statewide-gun-ban/

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:15 | Link to Comment Bingfa
Bingfa's picture

"a total of 532 people were murdered."

All with illegal guns and almost all Black/hispanic

And every "LEGAL" gun owner is aware of this

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:25 | Link to Comment W74
W74's picture

Just wait until the violence starts.  Greeks are notorious for letter/package bombs, assinations, and arson of homes and businesses....just to make a point.

Once a few kids start lighting off fireworks the whole block is going to start doing it, too.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:25 | Link to Comment Lordflin
Lordflin's picture

Career thieves never stop on their own volition... And it never occurs to them that should they ever be able to steal it all they will be left in the same boat as everyone else... The only way to stop such creatures is with force...

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:32 | Link to Comment recidivist
recidivist's picture

Curve will flatten, cannot go over 100%...

 

Embrace the malaise...The PROGRAM thrives on MISERY.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:37 | Link to Comment Anasteus
Anasteus's picture

Just wondering it's just Shaeuble who is comforting us. This guy reversed 180. I remember him proclaiming 'no way' on almost every controversial topic his fellow cronies were trying to enforce some time ago.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:50 | Link to Comment Haus-Targaryen
Haus-Targaryen's picture

I started to write this in English, but then thought it would be more compelling in German.

 

Die Eurokrise ist den Leistungsbilanzunterschieden der europäischen Volkswirtschaften geschuldet. Zur Auflösung des Dilemmas gibt es grob gesagt vier Möglichkeiten:

1. eine Absenkung des Preis- und Lohnniveaus in den Krisenstaaten
2. eine Anhebung des Preis- und Lohnniveaus in den solventen Staaten
3. Transferzahlungen durch die solventen Staaten
4. Rückkehr zu den nationalen Währungen oder zu kleineren Währungsverbünden.

Die unsäglichen Auswirkungen von Möglichkeit 1 sehen wir jetzt in Griechenland, wie der Artikel gerade dokumentiert. Die zweite Variante würde uns (Deutschlands) unsere Wettbewerbsfähigkeit kosten. Option drei wird von Regierung und Opposition angestrebt, wird aber langfristig genauso zu Zerfall der Währungsunion führen. Die Möglichkeit 4 wird aus politischen Gründen - und nicht aus Gründen der Vernunft- nicht in Erwägung gezogen, obwohl es die einzige humane Möglichkeit ist die Probleme zu lösen. Sorry, aber Leid und Hoffnungslosigkeit in den Krisenstaaten sind mir ebenso zuwider wie unüberschaubare Zahlungen aus den solventen Staaten die langfristig die gleiche zerstörerische Wirkung haben werden. Es scheint aber nun doch eine Alternative zu geben, nämlich die Alternative für Deutschland. Einfach mal nach Professor Lucke googeln.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 15:09 | Link to Comment PontifexMaximus
PontifexMaximus's picture

I go for 3, coze MD will come up for it. If it's not sufficient Ben will help with USD swaps, nothing to worry about.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 15:14 | Link to Comment akak
akak's picture

Yes, very compelling indeed --- all the capital letters and formidably Teutonic polysyllabic words are intimidating as Hell.

Why do you Germans capitalize every other word, though?  Quite odd, I must say.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 15:19 | Link to Comment TPTB_r_TBTF
TPTB_r_TBTF's picture

so, Prof. Lucke is organizing yet another meaningless, minority, protest-party in Germany?

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 17:38 | Link to Comment Brit_Abroad
Brit_Abroad's picture

Ja, aber wie weit können/durfen die AfD kommen ?

Ich stimme dir aber 100% zu was die 4 möglichkeiten betrifft.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 12:05 | Link to Comment Hongcha
Hongcha's picture

Molotov cocktails may just be the recipe for urban brawls, what with these foolish tin cans the cops are insisting on driving into the mob.  Could get interesting.  I bet a little Uozo would add to the aroma; or perhaps a dash of Retsina.

My short position blows.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 15:06 | Link to Comment PontifexMaximus
PontifexMaximus's picture

As long as those unemployed youngsters can afford their DSL connection are smartfone contract, all is fine. Do not worry, it won't take long, that it will be part of SS to come up for this. Business as usual and: trust in Wolfi, he is right, Mario D. gave him carte blanche.

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