Cognitive Dissonance Of The Day: "Don't Be Depressed", Just Ignore Reality

Tyler Durden's picture


For all those who have the displeasure of trying to reconcile the cognitive dissonance of a record high stock market, and European employment at 2006 levels, here is some more fuel to the fire from Germany's Finance Minister:


This is precisely the pep talk that the just announced record high number of unemployed Greek and Spanish youth needs.



Chart: Bloomberg

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Thu, 03/14/2013 - 09:44 | 3329258 spastic_colon
spastic_colon's picture

just think S&P 1700 and you will feel better / s

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 09:46 | 3329260 Haus-Targaryen
Haus-Targaryen's picture

you're missing a zero.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:07 | 3329319 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

See? There's a bull market somewhere!!

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:22 | 3329363 Pareto
Pareto's picture

and i promise to find one just for you.  i'm jim the fucktard kramer, and i'll see you tomorrow!

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:43 | 3329421 Manthong
Manthong's picture

It is going to be a very hot summer in Greece.

Have a tall, cool Löwenbräu, Herr Schaeuble.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:20 | 3329543 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

File Under: Stuff Managements Have Told Us.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:28 | 3329571 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

That sure is a nice linear growth trend. They are so easy to project into the future! We are right on target for 100% Greek youth unemployment in September 2016.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 13:47 | 3330037 Clowns on Acid
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110% if one projects linearly....ahem

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 09:48 | 3329267 ihedgemyhedges
ihedgemyhedges's picture

Let them eat cake (or Chinese river pork gyros).....

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 09:58 | 3329297 Dexter Morgan
Dexter Morgan's picture

Let them eat horses!

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:23 | 3329370 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Let them eat Ikea Poop Cake.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:55 | 3329661 uno
uno's picture

while smoking kitty litter cigars

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 09:45 | 3329259 Squishi
Squishi's picture

Buy Insurance!

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 09:47 | 3329264 Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture

The definition of insane.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:14 | 3329338 Bangin7GramRocks
Bangin7GramRocks's picture

This guy could toss a bum's salad and convince himself that it was an ice cream cone!

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 09:47 | 3329265 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Commentary from Schaeuble is endorsed by the Ministry of Plenty.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 09:52 | 3329268 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Don't worry! Be happy mon, DOW gwan up another +50 YA MON! Roll up de spliff!

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 09:49 | 3329271 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

So, it looks like today will be - what - the TENTH consecutive record breaking session in a row.

Whoever is sitting with his hands on the controls... he doesn't think he's slightly overdoing this? I mean, I go to the casino, there's fuck all chance I will win 10 times in a row putting it all on black.

But hey, apparently not even basics of statistics apply to the equities markets.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 09:51 | 3329274 Haus-Targaryen
Haus-Targaryen's picture

You win 10x in a row, the hotel will be offering you free lobster dinners, hookers, and blow sooooooooooooo quickly to get you TF out of their Casino it will make your head spin. 


Oddddddddd ..... this sounds very similar to the S&P.  Apparently what happens in Vegas now says in NEw York.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:09 | 3329325 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

10 days on top of FOUR years,  1460 + 10  = 1470 Nice Rig.  

1352 stock riggers


Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:28 | 3329385 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

This isn't a normal casino. In this casino, the bosses control the games and change the rules whenever and however they want, and those bosses have been told by their bosses to let the customers win ten in a row.

Eventually they'll be told to rip the customers' faces off.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 12:55 | 3329847 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Bernanke is keeping his play on BLACK. Somone will have to physically remove him from the controls. Pry his hands off of the joy stick.

I do actually think that even the banks are starting to question Bernanke's strategy and behavior. I mean Greenspan actually admitted to it publicly on CNBC...much to Fat Maria's shock. Now on CNBC everyone just assumes the Fed buying 85B a month is acceptable.

The baks don't mind if they get bailed out for 5 years....just don't go on TV and tell everybody how you are doing it. The peasants might revolt.

To maintain any credibility, this ES needs a good, hard, 2% retracement. That'll keep 'em honest.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 09:50 | 3329272 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Don't let Ratheon know the kids are looking for something do do. I mean to do.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 09:54 | 3329279 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Ummmmmm.......excuse me, but did someone ring?

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 09:55 | 3329288 Jim in MN
Jim in MN's picture

YesNoYesNoYesNoYesNoYesNoYesNo  etc

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:33 | 3329588 Drachma
Drachma's picture

There once was a message more precious than gold

But the ears it fell upon, their attention they did withhold

You see the message didn't appeal to their crafted ideal

And so the death of the messenger's foretold

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 09:53 | 3329281 Tsar Pointless
Tsar Pointless's picture

In other cognitive dissonance news, Bloomberg Comfort Index in highest reading since last April.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 09:54 | 3329285 BobPaulson
BobPaulson's picture

That graph should be labelled: Brewing Violent Insurrection.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 09:59 | 3329300 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Too broke to fill up the Molotovs.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:08 | 3329323 BobPaulson
BobPaulson's picture

I get the impression from my visits to Greece that theft is not a completely alien practice there. The first taxi I rode there made that abundantly clear.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:22 | 3329364 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

The Joker likes gasoline because it's cheap.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:30 | 3329392 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

If only there were a Dollar Menu for molotov cocktails...

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 09:55 | 3329286 Jim in MN
Jim in MN's picture

He's right, you know....


...Revolutionary fervor is not depression.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 09:56 | 3329290 e m m
e m m's picture

Looks like the fair price will be discovered at another new all time high today. Web crawling sentiment analysis strategies must be throwing positive signals thanks to the new pope. But if there are really bears out there that are throwing in the towel because of these, they look equivalently gay.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:52 | 3329464 Key-Rick
Key-Rick's picture

Finally, someone has the good sense to mention the President Of Pedophiles Everywhere.  We need some distraction from all this Wall Street euphoria.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:03 | 3329309 JailBank
JailBank's picture

This shouldn't be a problem.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:12 | 3329328 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

I like the arrow on that chart. In case you are too fucking dense, or denial has you by the throat, THE YOUTH UNEMPLOYMENT ARROW IS GOING IN AN UPWARDS DIRECTION, MY FELLOW BITCHEZ!

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:27 | 3329382 falak pema
falak pema's picture

can you imagine all those young guys with hard ons and nothing to wet their teeth/teats on! 

Awesome waste of glandular thick paste. Poetry of lust gone dark in sterile dust notwithstanding.

"That was the greatest crime of all...then you fall great Caesar, in the potent semen of Pompei's statue... or is it his piss?"

Such be the fate of Oligarchs who make a young generation jerk off into sweet nothings of unemployment hibernation. Their rage is all the more vengeful. 

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:14 | 3329339 Broomer
Broomer's picture

It started to explode in Mar-Apr 2009.

It's also very regular. Some powerful force is operating here.

I wonder what is the cause.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:37 | 3329415 DOT
DOT's picture

Causality or triviality doesn't matter It's Funny:

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:20 | 3329352 Lewshine
Lewshine's picture

The Fed understands the power of advertising, and it is on this concept the market continues to advertise itself. Ben figures each point towards the heavens is worth X, and will force Y to make an investment. You have to remember, we are called consumers for a reason - Pound the public long enough and they will take the bait. Its just a matter of time before we read: "Middleclass investor comes back". That's what this whole rally is about. The Fed always wins - Always! 

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:28 | 3329379 Winston of Oceania
Winston of Oceania's picture

All central planners go out this way, throughout time. The people will only stand for so much and then no one will trust banks, they will keep their money and worthless script to themselves as credit and bank accounts will regain it's loathsome regard.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 12:24 | 3329750 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Define "wins". It the long run we are all....well you know...

The Bernanke ain't gonna win....but the US taxpayer will lose.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:21 | 3329357 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Maybe they need to wear a white bracelet to remind them of their white privilege.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:36 | 3329413 yrad
yrad's picture

I'm at the airport headed to Ireland. Pray for me.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:53 | 3329472 e-recep
e-recep's picture

happy TSA groping.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:35 | 3329591 Lord Blankcheck
Lord Blankcheck's picture

And Gov shakedown when you return.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 11:17 | 3329531 Vooter
Vooter's picture

I love Ireland. Of course, I don't love the TSA or flying...

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 12:22 | 3329740 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

The Guinness IS actually better over there.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 10:38 | 3329418 lunaticfringe
lunaticfringe's picture

Well....until they lose.

The grand experiment is just about over. I fully expect the STHF at the end of the year when the perfect storm arrives. Americans will feel the sodomy of a government gone mad. Your Obamacare will cost 15k a family. Only the dirt poor will get a break. The FED will be stuck with 4 trillion in treasury and mortgage debt. The debt will be over 17T and interest rates will be rising. Inflation and yields cannot be massaged or hidden any longer.The sodomite will leave office and Nero will be on the golf course next Jan.

It's gonna be great. I can't wait to hear the liberal fucktard whine. It will be awesome!



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