Cognitive Dissonance Of The Day: "Don't Be Depressed", Just Ignore Reality

Tyler Durden's picture

For all those who have the displeasure of trying to reconcile the cognitive dissonance of a record high stock market, and European employment at 2006 levels, here is some more fuel to the fire from Germany's Finance Minister:


This is precisely the pep talk that the just announced record high number of unemployed Greek and Spanish youth needs.



Chart: Bloomberg

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spastic_colon's picture

just think S&P 1700 and you will feel better / s

Stoploss's picture

See? There's a bull market somewhere!!

Pareto's picture

and i promise to find one just for you.  i'm jim the fucktard kramer, and i'll see you tomorrow!

Manthong's picture

It is going to be a very hot summer in Greece.

Have a tall, cool Löwenbräu, Herr Schaeuble.

NotApplicable's picture

File Under: Stuff Managements Have Told Us.

Buckaroo Banzai's picture

That sure is a nice linear growth trend. They are so easy to project into the future! We are right on target for 100% Greek youth unemployment in September 2016.

Clowns on Acid's picture

110% if one projects linearly....ahem

ihedgemyhedges's picture

Let them eat cake (or Chinese river pork gyros).....

McMolotov's picture

Let them eat Ikea Poop Cake.

uno's picture

while smoking kitty litter cigars

Squishi's picture

Buy Insurance!

Everybodys All American's picture

The definition of insane.

Bangin7GramRocks's picture

This guy could toss a bum's salad and convince himself that it was an ice cream cone!

Cdad's picture

Commentary from Schaeuble is endorsed by the Ministry of Plenty.

SheepDog-One's picture

Don't worry! Be happy mon, DOW gwan up another +50 YA MON! Roll up de spliff!

EscapeKey's picture

So, it looks like today will be - what - the TENTH consecutive record breaking session in a row.

Whoever is sitting with his hands on the controls... he doesn't think he's slightly overdoing this? I mean, I go to the casino, there's fuck all chance I will win 10 times in a row putting it all on black.

But hey, apparently not even basics of statistics apply to the equities markets.

Haus-Targaryen's picture

You win 10x in a row, the hotel will be offering you free lobster dinners, hookers, and blow sooooooooooooo quickly to get you TF out of their Casino it will make your head spin. 


Oddddddddd ..... this sounds very similar to the S&P.  Apparently what happens in Vegas now says in NEw York.

El Hosel's picture

10 days on top of FOUR years,  1460 + 10  = 1470 Nice Rig.  

1352 stock riggers


McMolotov's picture

This isn't a normal casino. In this casino, the bosses control the games and change the rules whenever and however they want, and those bosses have been told by their bosses to let the customers win ten in a row.

Eventually they'll be told to rip the customers' faces off.

Clowns on Acid's picture

Bernanke is keeping his play on BLACK. Somone will have to physically remove him from the controls. Pry his hands off of the joy stick.

I do actually think that even the banks are starting to question Bernanke's strategy and behavior. I mean Greenspan actually admitted to it publicly on CNBC...much to Fat Maria's shock. Now on CNBC everyone just assumes the Fed buying 85B a month is acceptable.

The baks don't mind if they get bailed out for 5 years....just don't go on TV and tell everybody how you are doing it. The peasants might revolt.

To maintain any credibility, this ES needs a good, hard, 2% retracement. That'll keep 'em honest.

q99x2's picture

Don't let Ratheon know the kids are looking for something do do. I mean to do.

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Ummmmmm.......excuse me, but did someone ring?

Jim in MN's picture

YesNoYesNoYesNoYesNoYesNoYesNo  etc

Drachma's picture

There once was a message more precious than gold

But the ears it fell upon, their attention they did withhold

You see the message didn't appeal to their crafted ideal

And so the death of the messenger's foretold

Tsar Pointless's picture

In other cognitive dissonance news, Bloomberg Comfort Index in highest reading since last April.

BobPaulson's picture

That graph should be labelled: Brewing Violent Insurrection.

Winston Churchill's picture

Too broke to fill up the Molotovs.

BobPaulson's picture

I get the impression from my visits to Greece that theft is not a completely alien practice there. The first taxi I rode there made that abundantly clear.

Dr. Engali's picture

The Joker likes gasoline because it's cheap.

McMolotov's picture

If only there were a Dollar Menu for molotov cocktails...

Jim in MN's picture

He's right, you know....


...Revolutionary fervor is not depression.

e m m's picture

Looks like the fair price will be discovered at another new all time high today. Web crawling sentiment analysis strategies must be throwing positive signals thanks to the new pope. But if there are really bears out there that are throwing in the towel because of these, they look equivalently gay.

Key-Rick's picture

Finally, someone has the good sense to mention the President Of Pedophiles Everywhere.  We need some distraction from all this Wall Street euphoria.

JailBank's picture

This shouldn't be a problem.

MsCreant's picture

I like the arrow on that chart. In case you are too fucking dense, or denial has you by the throat, THE YOUTH UNEMPLOYMENT ARROW IS GOING IN AN UPWARDS DIRECTION, MY FELLOW BITCHEZ!

falak pema's picture

can you imagine all those young guys with hard ons and nothing to wet their teeth/teats on! 

Awesome waste of glandular thick paste. Poetry of lust gone dark in sterile dust notwithstanding.

"That was the greatest crime of all...then you fall great Caesar, in the potent semen of Pompei's statue... or is it his piss?"

Such be the fate of Oligarchs who make a young generation jerk off into sweet nothings of unemployment hibernation. Their rage is all the more vengeful. 

Broomer's picture

It started to explode in Mar-Apr 2009.

It's also very regular. Some powerful force is operating here.

I wonder what is the cause.

DOT's picture

Causality or triviality doesn't matter It's Funny:

Lewshine's picture

The Fed understands the power of advertising, and it is on this concept the market continues to advertise itself. Ben figures each point towards the heavens is worth X, and will force Y to make an investment. You have to remember, we are called consumers for a reason - Pound the public long enough and they will take the bait. Its just a matter of time before we read: "Middleclass investor comes back". That's what this whole rally is about. The Fed always wins - Always! 

Winston of Oceania's picture

All central planners go out this way, throughout time. The people will only stand for so much and then no one will trust banks, they will keep their money and worthless script to themselves as credit and bank accounts will regain it's loathsome regard.

Clowns on Acid's picture

Define "wins". It the long run we are all....well you know...

The Bernanke ain't gonna win....but the US taxpayer will lose.

Dr. Engali's picture

Maybe they need to wear a white bracelet to remind them of their white privilege.

yrad's picture

I'm at the airport headed to Ireland. Pray for me.

Lord Blankcheck's picture

And Gov shakedown when you return.

Vooter's picture

I love Ireland. Of course, I don't love the TSA or flying...

Clowns on Acid's picture

The Guinness IS actually better over there.

lunaticfringe's picture

Well....until they lose.

The grand experiment is just about over. I fully expect the STHF at the end of the year when the perfect storm arrives. Americans will feel the sodomy of a government gone mad. Your Obamacare will cost 15k a family. Only the dirt poor will get a break. The FED will be stuck with 4 trillion in treasury and mortgage debt. The debt will be over 17T and interest rates will be rising. Inflation and yields cannot be massaged or hidden any longer.The sodomite will leave office and Nero will be on the golf course next Jan.

It's gonna be great. I can't wait to hear the liberal fucktard whine. It will be awesome!