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The Oddacity Of Hype - Geithner's "Behind The Scenes" Book Coming In 2014

Tyler Durden's picture




 

The long-awaited tell-all is coming soon to an ebook near you soon - well in 2014. AP reports that none other than 'Turbo' Tim Geithner has an agreement with Crown Publishers (Random House) to publish his 'behind-the-scenes' account of the financial crisis. From his tenure at the NYFRB to his stint under Obama's wing, we can't wait for all the gossip - ...and then I said, "yes sir, whatever you want sir..." As Crown adds in its PR, "Secretary Geithner will chronicle how decisions were made during the most harrowing moments of the crisis, when policy makers faced a fog of uncertainty, risked catastrophic outcomes, and had no institutional memory or recent precedent to guide them." Should be a thriller... as he answers the all-important question of why (or not) but rest comfortably as he intends to "provide a 'playbook' that future policy makers can draw on." Given the success of Obama's odyssey, we humbly suggest Tim title the as-yet-untitled book, 'The Oddacity Of Hype'.

 

Via AP,

Former Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner has a book deal.

 

Geithner has an agreement with Crown Publishers, an imprint of Random House, Inc. Crown announced Thursday that Geithner's book, currently untitled, is scheduled for 2014 and will provide a "behind-the-scenes" account of the financial crisis.

 

Few Treasury secretaries received as much attention as Geithner, who has been praised for helping prevent a second Great Depression, but criticized for being too friendly to banks and other financial institutions. He will draw upon his experience at the Treasury during the first term of the Obama administration and his previous job as president of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, where he served from 2003-2009.

 

According to Crown, Geithner will write about his work with President Obama, Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke and other top officials.

 

"Secretary Geithner will chronicle how decisions were made during the most harrowing moments of the crisis, when policy makers faced a fog of uncertainty, risked catastrophic outcomes, and had no institutional memory or recent precedent to guide them," Crown's statement reads.

 

"Secretary Geithner will aim to answer the most important — and to many the most troubling — questions about the choices he and his colleagues made, the strategies they adopted, and the economic aftermath. By describing what went right, what went wrong and the lessons learned along the way, Secretary Geithner intends to provide a 'play book' that future policy makers can draw on and that the public can use to understand how and why governments act in crisis."

 

Geithner, 51, stepped down in January as Treasury secretary and was succeeded by Jack Lew.

 

Financial terms for Geithner's book were not disclosed. Geithner was represented by Washington attorney Robert Barnett, who has negotiated deals for Obama, former President Clinton and Geithner's predecessor at the Treasury, Henry Paulson. Obama's best-selling "Dreams from My Father" and "The Audacity of Hope" also were published by Crown.

 

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Thu, 03/14/2013 - 13:49 | 3330045 american eyedol
american eyedol's picture

OH SHIT

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 13:53 | 3330063 Frozen IcQb
Frozen IcQb's picture

Best seller in the Fiction category!

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 13:55 | 3330070 DJ Happy Ending
DJ Happy Ending's picture

I hope he details all the dick he sucked on the way up.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 14:03 | 3330096 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

I hope it is simpler than One Cent, Two Cents, Old Cent, New Cent: All About Money (Cat in the Hat's Learning Library). I had a hard time with it. Knowing Timmy, it will be.

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51bBMUHF5ZL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsit...

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 14:09 | 3330119 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

Well at least I know that one day in 2014, I will have to chance to finally give a nice big personal FUCK YOU (and a nice jab in the kisser) for the job well done as Treasury Sec when he is in a bookstore in NYC doing a book signing.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 17:24 | 3330187 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

 

A Quantitative Fable by Tim Geithner

 

Many years ago there lived a king named Jamie.

King Jamie had one little daughter, whose name was Marigold.

King Jamie was very, very rich. It was said that he had more cash than almost any other king in the world.

One room of his great castle was almost filled with green cash papers.

At last King Jamie grew so fond of his cash that he loved it better than anything else in all the world.

He even loved it better than his own little daughter, dear little rosy-cheeked Marigold. His one great wish seemed to be for more and more cash.

 One day while he was in his cash room counting his money, a beautiful fairy boy, Bennie, stood before him. The boy's bearded face shone with a wonderful light, and he had wings on his cap and wings on his feet. In his hand he carried a strange-looking magic wand called Ctrl-P, and the wand also had wings.

"King Jamie, you are one of the the richest man in the world," said the Bennie the fairy. "There is hardly any King who has so much cash as you."

"That may be," said King Jamie. "As you see, I have this room full of cash, but I should like much more; for cash is the best and the most wonderful thing in the world."

"Are you sure?" asked the Bennie the fairy. "I am very sure," answered the King. "If I should grant you one wish," said Bennie the fairy, "would you ask for more cash?"

"If I could have but one wish," said the King, "I would ask that everything I touch should turn to beautiful green cash."

"Your wish shall be granted," said the fairy. "At sunrise to-morrow morning your slightest touch will turn everything into cash. But I warn you that your gift will not make you happy."

"I will take the risk," said King Jamie.

The next day King Jamie awoke very early. He was eager to see if the Bennie the fairy's promise had come true.

As soon as the sun arose he tried the gift by touching the bed lightly with his hand.

The bed turned to cash.

He touched the chair and table. Upon the instant they were turned to cash.

Jamie the King was wild with joy.

He ran around the room, touching everything he could see. His magic gift turned all to crispy, green cash.

The King soon felt hungry and went down to eat his breakfast. Now a strange thing happened. When he raised a glass of clear cold water to drink, it became solid cash.

Not a drop of water could pass his lips. The bread turned to cash under his fingers. The meat was hard, and green.

Not a thing could he get to eat. All was cash, cash, cash.

His little daughter came running in from the garden.Of all living creatures she was the dearest to him.

He touched her with his lips. At once the little girl was changed to a green paper mache’ statue.

A great fear crept into King Jamies heart, sweeping all the joy out of his life.

In his grief he called and called upon Bennie the fairy who had given him the gift of the monetized touch.

"O Bennie the fairy," he begged, "take away this horrible monetary gift! Take all my lands. Take all my cash. Take everything, only give me back my little daughter."

In a moment the beautiful fairy, Bennie, was standing before him. "Do you still think that cash is the greatest thing in the world?" asked the fairy.

"No! no!" cried the Jamie the King. "I hate the very sight of the green stuff."

"Are you sure that you no longer wish the monetized touch?" asked Bennie the fairy.

 "I have learned my lesson," said the King. "I no longer think cash the greatest thing in the world."

"Very well," said the fairy, "take this pitcher to the spring in the garden and fill it with water. Then sprinkle those things which you have touched and turned to cash."

The King took the pitcher and rushed to the spring. Running back he first sprinkled the head of his dear little girl. Instantly she became his own darling Marigold again, and gave him a kiss.

The King sprinkled the monetized food, and to his great joy it turned back to real bread and real butter.

Then he and his little daughter sat down to breakfast. How good the cold water tasted! How eagerly the hungry King ate the bread and butter, the meat, and all the good food!

Jamie the King hated his monetized touch so much that he sprinkled even the chairs and the tables and everything else that Bennie the fairy's gift had turned to cash.

 

 

This, my friends is clearly an allegorical fable. We all know that in the real world King Jamie is beyond redemption. However, the moral of the story is that the unintended consequences of limitless cash through Bennie the fairy's magic wand will be ultimately destructive.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 14:50 | 3330278 aint no fortuna...
aint no fortunate son's picture

when's the statute of limitations?

hope he discusses his and Jamie's special relationship on the Bear deal (assets only, liabiliteies for the FED)

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 16:07 | 3330545 helping_friendl...
helping_friendly_book's picture

Seven Years?

Judge Jed Rakoff will never prosecute one of his own from his Temple.

How about a good, old fashioned, polgrom folks! I think it has been to long since the last one.

What the hell are we waiting for? Seriously. We need to get w/ the program and start the new polgram.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 16:14 | 3330569 AlaricBalth
Thu, 03/14/2013 - 16:35 | 3330640 helping_friendl...
helping_friendly_book's picture

you bet pal. I should of spell checked. I usually don't suggest such things , but things are getting out of hand. We need a some good old ethnic cleansing! 

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 18:13 | 3330947 helping_friendl...
helping_friendly_book's picture

gfu down arrow khazar!

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 14:20 | 3330154 Muddy1
Muddy1's picture

The picture would be more correct if the person was facing away from the camera with their clothes down around their ankles and their hands grasping their ankles.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 14:45 | 3330254 ljag
ljag's picture

Judging from the photo. I would guess that there was also some oily anal leakage involved

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 15:00 | 3330310 Pegasus Muse
Pegasus Muse's picture

"Secretary Geithner will chronicle how decisions were made during the most harrowing moments of the crisis, when ... blah, blah ...

Bummer.  I was hoping Old TaxCheat Timmy would be sharing some of his prized insider TurboTax Cheats with us.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 16:58 | 3330714 rlouis
rlouis's picture

Pete Peterson

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 13:57 | 3330077 HyperLazy
HyperLazy's picture

Somebody somewhere recommend that the book should be called, "Treasury Island"...

I second this.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 14:06 | 3330109 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

+1

My contribution: "Great Unexpectations"

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 14:26 | 3330175 The Master
The Master's picture

The Hunger Games:  American Middle Class

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 14:31 | 3330191 Hammerabi
Hammerabi's picture

Memoirs of a Geithna

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 14:56 | 3330299 waterhorse
waterhorse's picture

I like "The Creature from Treasury Island"  A hybrid of Treasure Island, Creature from Jekyll Island and a sprinkling of fraud, larcency, perjury, theft, hookers and blow.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 14:47 | 3330084 Abraxas
Abraxas's picture

I hear the book portrays an epic struggle of a small brave dedicated group of people against millions upon millions of evil workers, entraprenours, teachers and housewives. In this struggle, the few win against all odds. This is like The Lord of the Rings 4.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 15:45 | 3330462 optimator
optimator's picture

Never in the field of financial conflict have so many been taken by so few.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 15:58 | 3330507 helping_friendl...
helping_friendly_book's picture

I think you mean...."Never in the field of financial endeavor have so many been taken, for so much, by so few."

I fixed it for ya'.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 14:37 | 3330208 wee-weed up
wee-weed up's picture

I'm sure it will be another CYA tome, full of excuses and lies, just like Hank Paulson's was...

"On the Brink: Inside the Race to Stop the Collapse of the Global Financial System"

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 13:54 | 3330066 Ruffcut
Ruffcut's picture

SOme has to be a worst seller. My stock of poop paper is good, I'll pass.

He should go back into the hole he came from, his dadies ass.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 14:07 | 3330107 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

Timmy squatting to pee

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 16:48 | 3330686 Tim White
Tim White's picture

It will be a best seller, because this is the Neo-porn...virtual crappola , regurgitated into pink slime/edidle BS...dumb fucks buy it because they think they should, or will get a clue. You assholes HAVE NO CLUE! This little POS will continue to milk society of all that his worthless, butt-bleeding ass can, while he can.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 13:50 | 3330049 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

Does he document how J Dimon shoved his fist up his ass and made him beg for mercy? 

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 13:51 | 3330051 resurger
resurger's picture

ill use the book as toilet paper

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 13:51 | 3330052 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

The Cliff Notes, chapter 1:

"CTRL-P."

The End.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 13:53 | 3330061 Belrev
Belrev's picture

Jewish insolence has no limits.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 13:53 | 3330062 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

If anyone gives this criminal 1 fucking penny, of their money , THEY should be shot.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 14:17 | 3330148 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

"Gives"?? You must be joking... These crooks dont get given anything that cant be taken first

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 14:29 | 3330183 SWCroaker
SWCroaker's picture

I've notice that book deals r the new way to handle payoffs.   Big advances, and massive orders for books that never get delivered or read.   But the money flows, and says "thank you, so much" to loyal crooks.  

People, you, me, we don't buy or read this sh*t.   But it seems one of many sure fire ways to enter the DC area with 50k to your name, and leave a multi-millionaire.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 15:39 | 3330451 Tapeworm
Tapeworm's picture

A Jim Wright special.

 I can see a sales rep for Crown Publishers going door to door on Wall Street getting orders for 100,000 copies per bankster.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 15:54 | 3330491 Vince Clortho
Vince Clortho's picture

Right on the money Croaker!

Nobody is going to read one page of that upcoming pos book.

Geithner will receive a big upfront payoff for "writing" the book.

Some entity will purchase enough copies to get the book mentioned as a best seller.

The puppet Media will report that Geithner's pos book is a best seller.

And Geithner will slither off under some rock after doing the bidding of his overlords.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 13:58 | 3330083 JailBank
JailBank's picture

Hope there are some tax filing tips in that book.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 14:01 | 3330094 Silverhog
Silverhog's picture

Shortly to be found at the Buck a Book shop near you.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 14:25 | 3330172 de3de8
de3de8's picture

Then purchase for ballast.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 14:52 | 3330284 waterhorse
waterhorse's picture

Hell, I bet they won't even be able to give them away.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 14:04 | 3330098 Racer
Racer's picture

How many hundreds of thousands of pounds, (of gold please, not US toilet paper) will he pay me to read it?

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 14:05 | 3330104 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

What, no Timmah Memorial Coin to go with it?

and then I said, "yes sir, whatever you want sir..."

He was talking to Blankfein then, right?

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 14:10 | 3330125 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

  The picture of the guy on the shitter says it all.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 14:12 | 3330129 thewayitis
thewayitis's picture

    Spread the WORDS....Don't buy the Frikin book ...fruck you geitna

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 14:12 | 3330130 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Title of book: Lies and Other Truths- How The FED and Its Minions Rape You Without You Knowing It & Without Lubrication

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 14:14 | 3330139 _ConanTheLibert...
_ConanTheLibertarian_'s picture

the crisis isn't over yet, we're just beginning and already a book. More propaganda to fool people all is well. FUCK YOU GEITHNER!

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 14:17 | 3330149 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

   Giethners new book , coming to a dumpster near you.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 14:22 | 3330164 22winmag
22winmag's picture

Criminals should not be permitted to profit from their crimes. I'd rather see murderers auctioning off their autobiographies than white collar criminal traitors selling their true crime stories.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 14:34 | 3330209 Intoxicologist
Intoxicologist's picture

LOL!  Nice accompanying pic.  I hope he receives a lotta paper cuts squeezing out that manuscript.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 14:35 | 3330213 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

Just more propaganda and a, "I'm a good guy, so no guillotine for me please" pre-defense. I don't think so Timmy! Yours is reserved.

hujel

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 14:35 | 3330214 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Probably won't have a section on the military being turned against the banking industry and his fear of drones in it. But maybe by 2014.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 14:45 | 3330257 Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

projectile vomitted to Number 1 on the NY Times Fiction best-seller's list

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 14:48 | 3330258 slackrabbit
slackrabbit's picture

'I get on my knees, I pull Ben's trousers down. I'm so excited...'

50 shades of Timmah

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 14:50 | 3330280 waterhorse
waterhorse's picture

"Few Treasury secretaries received as much attention as Geithner, who has been praised for helping prevent a second Great Depression?"

Praised?  When?  Who?  And as far as, "helping prevent a second Great Depression?"  A shitty piece of revisionist history right there.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 14:53 | 3330290 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

Save you the time and money....Geithner is the hero, in a superman cape.

Hey maybe HBO will turn it into TBTF part 2: this time there is a hero!

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 15:10 | 3330353 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

" he intends to "provide a 'playbook' that future policy makers can draw on."

I see a mistake. Certainly it should read "future prosecutors"..?

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 15:30 | 3330422 Intoxicologist
Intoxicologist's picture

You would think that "Throne" Publishers, rather than Crown, would be printing this book.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 15:41 | 3330456 falak pema
falak pema's picture

after the reset it would be burned; before the reset it will be incensed...saviour of first world; like Marechal Pétain was for France! For him 1917 and 1940...separated those two events; when he went from being admired to being hated.

I hope the reset doen't take thaaaaaat long! 

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 15:46 | 3330465 SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

Tim's title, "How I Pawned America to Wall Street"

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 15:52 | 3330470 helping_friendl...
helping_friendly_book's picture

Right after the Statute of Limitations is overcome. Good work you bunch of criminals and creeps. Not only does he commit fabulous crimes unprecedented in the annuals of organized crime , but now gets to brag about it and rub our noses in it.

Where is a crazed shooter when you need them????? On the book tour perhaps?

Come on all you pm people!!!!! Get busy making America great by eliminating the traitorous nincompoops! 

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 15:50 | 3330481 Joebloinvestor
Joebloinvestor's picture

The book should be about fine dinning in China and getting LAUGHED OUT LOUD at.

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 17:51 | 3330857 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

Finally we will learn the full truth. /sarc off

Thu, 03/14/2013 - 20:29 | 3331275 monad
monad's picture

Here's a preview:

On my first day Ben brought me a single red rose. It was so sweet. Then we REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED 

REDACTED REDACTED now looking forward to a bright future.

 

 

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