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Live Webcast Of Senate's JPM's London Whale Grilling

Tyler Durden's picture




 

In the marked absence of JPM CEO Jamie Dimon who will sadly not be present to explain to Senate why he is richer than (most) of the people present while wearing his signature presidential cufflinks, Carl "Shitty Deal" Levin will be the main highlight in today's Senate hearing "JPMorgan Chase Whale Trades: A Case History of Derivatives Risks and Abuses" which as reported previously found that JPM "lied" and "deceived" regulators.  As the Seante's report concludes, "The bank’s initial claims that its risk managers and regulators were fully informed and engaged, and that the SCP was invested in long-term, risk-reducing hedges allowed by the Volcker Rule, were fictions irreconcilable with the bank’s obligation to provide material information to its investors in an accurate manner." Today, those fictions will attempt to be reconciled, primarily with the help of the "voluntarily retired" former CIO Ina Drew, as well as JPM's vice Chairman Doug Braunstein and IB Co-CEO Michael Cavanagh. Will anything change as a result of today's hearing? Will JPM be broken down? Will the DOJ begin an inquiry into JPM? Of course not. But it makes for a good 3 hours of theater.

 

Schedule:

PANEL 1

    INA DREW
    Former Chief Investment Officer
    JPMorgan Chase Bank NA
    New York, NY
    Download Testimony (85.4 KB)

    ASHLEY BACON
    Acting Chief Risk Officer
    JPMorgan Chase Bank NA
    New York, NY
    Download Testimony (121.7 KB)

    PETER WEILAND
    Former Head of Market Risk - Chief Investment Office
    JPMorgan Chase Bank NA
    New York, NY
    Download Testimony (39 KB)

PANEL 2

    MICHAEL J. CAVANAGH
    Co-Chief Executive Officer - Corporate & Investment Bank
    JPMorgan Chase Bank NA
    New York, NY
    Download Testimony (626.6 KB)

    DOUGLAS L. BRAUNSTEIN
    Current Vice Chairman
    JPMorgan Chase Bank NA
    New York, NY

PANEL 3

    THE HONORABLE THOMAS J. CURRY
    Comptroller of the Currency
    U. S. Department of the Treasury
    Washington, DC
    Download Testimony (73.3 KB)

    SCOTT WATERHOUSE
    Examiner-in-Charge - OCC National Bank Examiners - JPMorgan Chase
    Office of Comptroller of the Currency
    Washington, DC

    MICHAEL SULLIVAN
    Deputy Comptroller for Risk Analysis - Risk Analysis Department
    Office of the Comptroller of the Currency
    Washington, DC 

The 300 page Senate report is posted below (link):

 

 

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Fri, 03/15/2013 - 09:35 | 3332100 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Too big to prosecute.....and they're wearing the cuff links to prove it.

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 09:37 | 3332107 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture

Yep, hard to catch a slippery squid.

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 09:42 | 3332110 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

you mean it was hard to overlook the smelly carcass of the huge whale

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 09:59 | 3332157 waterwitch
waterwitch's picture

I'll bet our drones could do it. Drone the fucker.

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:26 | 3332294 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

i think instead i will just go listen to the jerky boys skit.....were the guy keeps repeating...."i'm not the guy"...

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 09:42 | 3332109 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

Is this time a senator going to excuse himself for subjecting Jamie to... questions? After all he makes more money than the whole committee, he is too important to prosecute and... he is the boss of Blythe Masters, the mistress of all financial WMDs

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:47 | 3332381 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Don't forget his house in the Hamptons.  That's why he's rich, you know.

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 09:45 | 3332126 kliguy38
kliguy38's picture

just look at the hearing.....McGain and Levin......YOU ALREADY KNOW THE OUTCOME

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 09:51 | 3332140 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Can I go now mom?

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:07 | 3332181 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

they will fight over who gets to blow Dimon first

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:52 | 3332399 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

It'll be similar to a baseball team manager going out on the field to pretend to yell at the umpire, while actually just chatting with them in a loud, obnoxious manner.

*franticly waves arms*

"How's your wife and kids doing?"

*closes in face to face*

"Sure is a nice day out, huh?"

*kicks dirt, stomps back to dugout*

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 12:06 | 3332648 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

Er,that woud be Obama...

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 09:50 | 3332141 in-Credible Banker
in-Credible Banker's picture

If you care to read some Friday humor while listening to this tripe in the background here you go. I cannot even begin to list the litany of factual inaccuracies contained in this piece of "journalism".

http://www.forbes.com/sites/greatspeculations/2013/03/15/gold-sets-up-as...

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:53 | 3332406 Svendblaaskaeg
Svendblaaskaeg's picture

"If you care to read some Friday humor while..."

Short quote from  this piece of "journalism":

"... With fear in early retreat.."

LOL!

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 09:51 | 3332142 Crash Overide
Crash Overide's picture

GUILTY!

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:06 | 3332178 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

FOO- Friends of Obama

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:33 | 3332329 Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

Does that make us Foo Fighters?

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 13:29 | 3332232 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

Nothing will change.  This is all for show (Political Therater) for consumption by the masses (Sheep) for the purposes of PsyOp, deception and Illusion.  This Global Criminal (Intelligence) Cabal Crime Syndicate will contine. 

These TBTFB finance, own and launder the Drug Money to these Global Criminal Cabal Intelligence Agencies. 

Christ Sake, give me a break.  The Criminals asking the questions at this Hearing are already compromised and paid for by these same Criminal Crooks.

Outside of Mass Arrests.  I Personally see nothing changing.  At least not for mankind.

 

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:52 | 3332397 Whoa Dammit
Whoa Dammit's picture

Great article in the April Vanity Fair about London RE, The City, and tax evasion:

 

"It seems to be that every big trading disaster happens in London,”

"The City has been granted special privileges, allowing it to remain a political fortress withstanding the tides of history that have transformed the rest of the British nation-state. It has nurtured a British tradition of welcoming foreign money, with few questions asked, and so has for centuries attracted the world’s wealthiest citizens. “There the Jew, the Mahometan, and the Christian transact together,” Voltaire wrote in 1733, “as though they all professed the same religion, and give the name of infidel to none but bankrupts.”

" The oligarchs he studies became rich “not by creating new wealth but rather by insider political intrigue and exploiting the weakness of the rule of law.” Arkady Gaydamak, a Russian-Israeli oilman and financier, explained his elite view of accumulating wealth to me in 2005. “With all the regulations, the taxation, the legislation about working conditions, there is no way to make money,” he said. “It is only in countries like Russia, during the period of redistribution of wealth—and it is not yet finished—when you can get a result. . . . How can you make $50 million in France today? How?”

Russia’s former privatization czar Anatoly Chubais put it less delicately: “They steal and steal. They are stealing absolutely everything.”

http://www.vanityfair.com/society/2013/04/mysterious-residents-one-hyde-...

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 09:35 | 3332102 katwoman
katwoman's picture

I want to puke listening to that idiot Cramer makes apologies for JPM

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 09:36 | 3332103 q99x2
q99x2's picture

 Morgue Dimon, this is a big Fuck You. And, Hungary sends one to Bernanke too.

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 09:38 | 3332106 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

I found State TV (CNBC) strangely and mostly silent about this little hearing. Oh sure.....they mentioned it as 'news', but they clearly did not want the focus to be on this little embarrassment. The real news is 10 up days for the DOW. 

<Oh look, CPI "core" came in low as expected. Man the fiat pump Bernanke. Full speed ahead and damn the naysayers.>

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 09:42 | 3332116 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I find CNBC strangly silent on any news that might have a negative impact on stawks.

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:42 | 3332362 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

They left the hearing to talk to the Chase bank CEO of mortgage lending so he could talk up housing and Fannie/Freddie.

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 09:39 | 3332111 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Somebody watch to see where Holder picks up the drop. Catch that F'Ker in action and YouTube it.

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 09:40 | 3332112 thismarketisrigged
thismarketisrigged's picture

i really hope jpm fucking crashes. they are such fucking criminals there ( not that other banks are not). fuck u jamie dimon u fucking thieve, i hope u get what u deserve.

 

this should be fun to watch.

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 09:54 | 3332145 earnyermoney
earnyermoney's picture

hope Jamie Dimon get's what he deserves?

From Barry's administraion? Barry said Jamie was an excellent banker. Smartest banker in the room. Where is Jon Corzine? Does Barry swallow when Jamie pulls out?

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:16 | 3332228 pods
pods's picture

You kiddin?

Jaime gives him the old Dirty Sanchez!

pods

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:36 | 3332344 Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

A whole new meaning to Chase ATM

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 09:41 | 3332114 centerline
centerline's picture

Not much to say anymore.  The fact this goes on only shows again and again that the system is corrupt to the core and doomed to failure.

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:18 | 3332245 pods
pods's picture

I take comfort in that every day.

pods

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 09:42 | 3332115 Inthemix96
Inthemix96's picture

Dimon,

You are nothing but a piece of over-paid shit.  Morals of a two-bit whore, lower than a snakes belly and as slimey as a greased up frog.

Believe me here sunshine, hell will have fun with you boyo, the devil will give you an eternity of work you cunt, fuck off and die.

Slowly, and in agonising pain, with no help or end in sight.

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 09:43 | 3332118 unwashedmass
unwashedmass's picture

 

a complete joke. 

like anyone is going to do anything. 

 

JPM owns the government. So bite me. 

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 09:44 | 3332122 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

PULP FANTASY: THE PUNISHMENT OF INA DREW

.


Jamie is holding a whip
His "hedging" has taken a dip
Instead of a hedge
They've run off the edge
And Ina was steering the ship (.../sarc)

The Limerick King

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 09:49 | 3332134 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

The only whip Jamie is holding is on his latte

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 09:43 | 3332123 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Hell, you can't prosecute the real prezdent! JPM shares will comfortably climb to new highs daily.

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 09:44 | 3332125 Manthong
Manthong's picture

put another whale on the barbie

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 09:46 | 3332128 overmedicatedun...
overmedicatedundersexed's picture

waiting for the grandstanding elected pukes to cry and moan, then they take jamie to lunch at a posh eatery and snicker about the fools who watched the kabuki.

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:01 | 3332130 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

WHALE GRILLING

"Better to sleep with a sober senator than a drunk derivative" - Herman Melville?”

"for there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men ”

“...and Heaven have mercy on us all - Presbyterians and Pagans alike - for we are all somehow dreadfully cracked about the head, and sadly need mending"

“Human madness is oftentimes a cunning and most feline thing. When you think it fled, it may have but become transfigured into some still subtler form.”

“I know not all that may be coming, but be it what it will, I'll go to it laughing.”  . “It is not down on any map; true places never are.” .   “There are certain queer times and occasions in this strange mixed affair we call life when a man takes this whole universe for a vast practical joke, though the wit thereof he but dimly discerns, and more than suspects that the joke is at nobody's expense but his own.”   “Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every funeral I meet; and especially whenever my hypos get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knocking people's hats off - then, I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can.”                                                                                                                                                                            (and of course) “Call me..screwitall.”
Fri, 03/15/2013 - 09:48 | 3332133 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

check out levin bloviating for the camera. lmao

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 09:50 | 3332137 helping_friendl...
helping_friendly_book's picture

WHAT IS THE CUFF LINK INSPCRIPTION SAY?

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 09:57 | 3332143 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

"I swallow - luv, Barry"

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 09:57 | 3332149 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

I'm rich, bitch.

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 09:50 | 3332138 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

FLIM FLAM MEN STORIES

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 09:59 | 3332156 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rFB8hVHBi8 

(i think the relationship between michael jackson and his father (and a bad rat movie) is a good anal ogy)

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:41 | 3332364 Vooter
Vooter's picture

RZZZ!!!

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:00 | 3332152 fuu
fuu's picture

Woah oh oh Jamie's lying.

I made it to McCain speaking but his bloated mutant head freaked me out and I bailed. I was only there to see if Jamie would tear up again.

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 09:58 | 3332153 Antifederalist
Antifederalist's picture

Levin:   JP Morgan people lied.

Us:  No shit Sherlock.  Now what are you going to do about it?   Answer:  Not one damn thing.

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 09:57 | 3332154 moneybots
moneybots's picture

"...fictions irreconcilable with the bank’s obligation to provide material information to its investors in an accurate manner."

 

What obligation?  With no bankers in prison, they are above the law and thus have no obligation.

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 09:58 | 3332155 monopoly
monopoly's picture

Tyler, why do you waste your time with this crap. That scum sucking pig will never see the inside of any prison. All this does is reinforce our convictions. The fucking system is BROKE.

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 09:59 | 3332159 little buddy bu...
little buddy buys the dips's picture

great, more theater.

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 12:27 | 3332712 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

Geithner is not aroundto protect these guys any more!

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:00 | 3332161 sharky2003
sharky2003's picture

Not sure why anybody in the media is really surprised. This was bound to happen again after letting the banks off with a slap on the wrist after 2008.

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:00 | 3332162 moneybots
moneybots's picture

THE HONORABLE THOMAS J. CURRY
    Comptroller of the Currency
    U. S. Department of the Treasury

 

Honorable?

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:01 | 3332163 PaperBear
PaperBear's picture

An alternative title to that report is 'what will be destroying the financial system in ... 3 ... 2 ... 1 ...'.

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:02 | 3332165 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

That we are at this point here today. This is all Hank Paulsons fault.

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:05 | 3332171 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

So what are they grilling up there on Capitol Hill, taxpayer?

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:05 | 3332172 helping_friendl...
helping_friendly_book's picture

"What’s with the presidential cufflinks?

Several sources have now reported that the prominent cufflinks Dimon wore during the hearing bore the seal of the President of the United States, with John Carney reporting them to be "a gift from a resident of the White House," though just who specifically remains unknown."

 

Is Dimon insinuating that he himself is the boss, CNBC’s John Carney asks? 

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:15 | 3332225 Maos Dog
Maos Dog's picture

Duh, the cufflinks mean he is the current head of the shadow bankers government. Says so right on his wiki page. In four years when his term is up, blankfein gets to wear them.

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:49 | 3332389 helping_friendl...
helping_friendly_book's picture

Welll! Pardon me for not noing, exactly, who is running the country. It's not like they are elected. How the fuck would I know? They don't have an org. chart as far as I know.

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:05 | 3332174 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

Dimon: Yeah, I Corzined the money, so what bitchez?

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:30 | 3332180 Anasteus
Anasteus's picture

BTFD, Silver-ers

If this ends up beyond the obvious expectation (by accident or by miracle) soon there will be no one left to suppress the price...

Shit happens and so does miracle!

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:12 | 3332204 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

Will anything change as a result of today's hearing? Will JPM be broken down? Will the DOJ begin an inquiry into JPM?

At most we can hope for another fat fine levied on JPM to cover the cost of running the SEC and CFTC for another 6 months. That's pretty much how the system works, (er doesn't work) now.

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:12 | 3332206 Zoltan
Zoltan's picture

Swearing in?

I heard the spiel from Senator Levin but those testifying didn't say shit (or specifically "I Do").

So are they really sworn in?  If they lie will there be consequences? (rhetorical question).

Z

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:12 | 3332207 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Ina Drew talking about her career, good Lord.

Notice the tortoise shell glasses and powder blue dress to make her look more like "Mother" even though she had oversight of "synthetic credit".

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:13 | 3332214 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

Like "Mom" from Futurama.

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:18 | 3332244 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

The little pearl ear rings, the soft halting voice, the vulnerable timbre - no hint of making sausage for Jamie "Nero" Dimon.

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:18 | 3332223 yogibear
yogibear's picture

Washington's dog and pony show for the muppets.

Dimon will join Corzine on laughing all the way to enjoying wealth.

 

So did they hand out playbills at the door?

Jamie was joking with the actors during intermission.

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:17 | 3332237 ubjay
ubjay's picture

Where can I donate?

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:20 | 3332260 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

If you are a U.S. Citizen you buy a ticket for this high theater every April 15th.

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:20 | 3332252 blindman
blindman's picture

Michael Corleone Senate Investigation
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJljQi_tFsU

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:20 | 3332262 Hobbleknee
Hobbleknee's picture

I thought crimes were tried in courts?

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:37 | 3332335 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

They have to say "Exibit A" and "Page 59" and have charts and questioning to make it appear as if it is a court when it is merely the passing of wind between friends.

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:36 | 3332345 Vooter
Vooter's picture

No, they're tried on tree limbs...

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 11:57 | 3332612 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

no "thought crimes" are handled with drones

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:21 | 3332267 blindman
blindman's picture

Max Keiser: Wall Street Mafia (read Jamie Dimon) Extorts Washington; 12% of JPM’s Net Income Used To Pay Bribes To Government Officials
Posted on March 15, 2013 by maxkeiser
.
http://maxkeiser.com/2013/03/15/max-keiser-wall-street-read-jamie-dimon-...

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:22 | 3332278 Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

So is this how they finally collapse this bitch?  They blame it on speculators and derivatives, do some fake perp walking, stick Dimon in the black van and drive him to the airport for his flight to Aruba, and implement martial law to protect the greater good from those silly patriotic rioters who know this is all bullshit?  

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 12:00 | 3332627 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

everything but the van color. (black is for criminals)

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:22 | 3332280 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

good kabuki

 

round up the usual suspects [/captain renault]

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:24 | 3332287 Gamma735
Gamma735's picture

Nobody will admit fault. They will all say "mistakes were made" and point the finger at someone else.

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 12:02 | 3332636 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

mostly, they will point one particular finger at us 

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:28 | 3332304 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"So on page 367 you see that the securitized synthetic portfolio of deriviateves was..." (all attention lost, no soundbite for the evening news).

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:31 | 3332323 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

 look at the team pumping WFC to offset the JPM dip... chicken shit mo fros

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:36 | 3332346 Lewshine
Lewshine's picture

Watch how the Precious metals begin to climb, while the equity complex falls - Then miraculously in a moment, PM's collapse and equities flip to the other direction. It is my belief that this correlation is key to this synthetic fraud trade known as the market. $29.10 Silver and $1600.00 in gold are important psychological levels - If either of these metals get close to those levels you'll notice a big turn in selling the metals and buying the spy. Of course, one could disregard this info and just buy ITM call options in the SPY and puts on SLV and make a ton by close - Because we all know what they are going to do! 

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:42 | 3332368 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

Caution.... Big Banking may cause Memory loss in certain individuals.

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:41 | 3332363 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

I find it amazing there were so many people at JPM making seven figure comps who now admit they didn't really know what was going on.

How do I get a job like that? I guess for starters, I would have to lie about the fact that, like many people, I do know what was going on.

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:41 | 3332366 Miss Expectations
Miss Expectations's picture

Don't Grill It....Blow it up:

The Exploding Whale  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3DQ0fWobPM

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:46 | 3332376 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

CONgress is "grilling" JPM so it is safe to put your cash back in stocks!

Look at those mawkets go!

Buy stawks!

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:47 | 3332379 GrinandBearit
GrinandBearit's picture

What a shit show. 

Total waste of time watching this.

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:47 | 3332384 optimator
optimator's picture

Would have been interesting if someone stole all the scripts just before the love in.

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 10:53 | 3332403 chindit13
chindit13's picture

Tyler, Do you have any contacts on any Senate Staff? Let's have Levin or McCain ask a simple question:

"What is the current gross notional dollar level of JPM's total derivative position, both on and off balance sheet?"

Follow-up question:

"Can you give me some idea of what multiple of worldwide GDP that number represents?"

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 11:01 | 3332429 chindit13
chindit13's picture

I've got to believe the guys at Blue Mountain are getting a kick out of this broadcast.  Certainly they can afford the champagne, courtesy of the "professionalism" of those clowns testifying.

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 11:17 | 3332475 Watts_D_Matter
Watts_D_Matter's picture

Are the JP douche bags drugged??  They are talking slooooow...If I was there I take a FLAME THROWER to that place....

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 11:19 | 3332488 helping_friendl...
helping_friendly_book's picture

Where Bruno Iksil?

I would love to see him tearing these peolpe, his old bosses, down. This shit is classic. "No Senator I don't know" Even thouigh that bitch got a $100,000,000 bonus package for resigning.

They should bring out the gun, Pulp Fiction style, and point it at her and say "say I don't know one one time, I dare you" and then cap her in the leg.

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 11:23 | 3332505 helping_friendl...
helping_friendly_book's picture

I also like the fact they release the, redacted report, yesterday and we don't even get a day to read it before the testimony. 

It also appears the wittnesses and the committee has a report which appers to have agout 3000 pages. The witnesses seem to have had plenty of time to read all 3000 pages too!

Anyone else notice?

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 11:24 | 3332510 helping_friendl...
helping_friendly_book's picture

No wonder they lost their as. MICHAEL J. CAVANAGH looks goy. 

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 11:25 | 3332513 hustler etiquette
hustler etiquette's picture

Judge Judy would have had this wrapped up in under an hour and she is entertaining.

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 11:31 | 3332537 Prof Gulliver
Prof Gulliver's picture

The show trials in Congress and the show trials by the Nazis have one similarity: Offering show-businessy outrage to the masses. The difference is in the U.S., the culprits are guilty and get off, in Germany the culprits were innocent and got shot.

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 11:35 | 3332545 Antifederalist
Antifederalist's picture

I don't recall.

Bwwwaaaahaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!

LIAR

 

 

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 11:42 | 3332567 Antifederalist
Antifederalist's picture

McCain is so fucking senile.  Sad.

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 11:51 | 3332591 El Gordo
El Gordo's picture

Another classic case.  When it comes down to it, they will always plead ignorant or stupid before they will plead crooked.  Same every time.

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 11:54 | 3332598 hustler etiquette
hustler etiquette's picture

I wonder if douglas braustein can recall his d.o.b

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 12:21 | 3332691 WallowaMountainMan
WallowaMountainMan's picture

i wish tyler was askin the questions....

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 12:27 | 3332716 Colonial Intent
Colonial Intent's picture

I bet she loves having her basis points tweaked, dirty girl.....

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 12:37 | 3332750 haskelslocal
haskelslocal's picture

You know why everyone loves the show COPS?

Because when some drunk junky lies to the cop about why he's pissin' all over himself in a convenience store parking lot, the cop doesn't have to buy it.

The drunk still goes to jail. We all get to watch it and feel the reward.

This crap? All the misleading hokus pokus? 

Sick.  

 

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 12:49 | 3332791 Derezzed
Derezzed's picture

TRADE

Live Webcast Of Senate's JPM's London Whale Grilling

FOR 

Live Webcast Of JPM's London Whale Execution ("You will therefore be taken to the Dune Sea and cast into the pit of Carkoon, the nesting place of the all-powerful Sarlacc. In his belly, you will find a new definition of pain and suffering as you are slowly digested over a thousand years")

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 13:16 | 3332863 hustler etiquette
hustler etiquette's picture

wait a minute. this is ore than just posturing, there will be more than fines paid. double blind colombian neckties

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 14:05 | 3333041 MFLTucson
MFLTucson's picture

 A Case History of Derivatives Risks and Abuses" which as reported previously found that JPM "lied" and "deceived" regulators.  As the Seante's report concludes, "The bank’s initial claims that its risk managers and regulators were fully informed and engaged, and that the SCP was invested in long-term, risk-reducing hedges allowed by the Volcker Rule, were fictions irreconcilable with the bank’s obligation to provide material information to its investors in an accurate manner."

 

I would expect nothing less from this crime circus!

Fri, 03/15/2013 - 14:36 | 3333153 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

WTF, no congressperson or senator reads bills, reports or commissions - they just vote on legislation written by lobbyists, yet 90% of these slimebags get re-elected.  The American people deserve what they get...

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