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Eurogroup Folds: Tells Cyprus To "Safeguard" Depositors Under €100,000 Euros; Angry Russians To Get Even Angrier

Tyler Durden's picture


Reuters headlines crossing the closing tape, supposedly out of a (very credible) Greek source, according to whom the Eurogroup will give Cyprus more flexibility on bank levy, and that Cyprus should safeguard depositors under €100,000, even as the full €5.8 billion deposit goal must still be hit. Well, at least they were not kidding with the whole plan. This was not unexpected - as we tweeted last night:

And while after all this, it is perfectly obvious that ordinary Cypriots just can't wait to start depositing money again with their local friendly bank, there are two very key questions which remain woefully unanswered:

i) how will Europe restore the confidence it has lost by even contemplating insured deposit impairments, and

ii) a deposit haircut is still a deposit haircut, and as noted earlier, the majority of Cypriot parties have announced they would vote against any bank levy, not just that which is determined to be "fair" by 10 European bureaucrats, and supposedly only hurts those evil, evil Russian billionaires.

In other words, the final word still remains with the Cypriot parties. Let the horse trading begin.

Finally, the Russian response to the discovery that haircuts on big deposits just rose from 9.9% to over 15.6% will hardly be warm and cuddly. Now may be a good time to ban gun (and plutonium) sales to angry Russian billionaire oligarchs.

P.S. All of this coming from a Greek finance minister source (speaking on behalf of Europe) means it is all 100% accurate, credible and true. We can't wait for the refutation.

P.P.S for Cypriot banks, if you see this man coming to make a withdrawal, it may be a good idea to run.


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Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:09 | 3344162 idea_hamster
idea_hamster's picture


Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:14 | 3344196 aka Gil
aka Gil's picture

I doubt this rumored concession will appease the Russians.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:17 | 3344227 James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

Nah, I hear the Russians are very understanding over the whole thing. Apparently they're even sending in some fancy ships as a sign of goodwill. 

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:21 | 3344252 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

I have one million euros, does this mean I should open 11 accounts?

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:30 | 3344282 MillionDollarBonus_
MillionDollarBonus_'s picture

I'm all for flexibility of the bank levy. Ideally the levy on deposits worth less than 100k should be reduced to 3%, and the levy on deposits greater than 100k should be raised to 10% to compensate. That would be far more fair and liberal in my opinion.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:32 | 3344306 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

Define fair?

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:35 | 3344320 MiguelitoRaton
MiguelitoRaton's picture

Cypriots have a vote, but no guns (strict gun control). Russians have no vote (in Cyprus), but plenty of guns. EU bankers have neither. The politicians may find that they a siding with the wrong groups if they hit Russians for 15%.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:37 | 3344322 koaj
koaj's picture

seems like a great plot line for a movie

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:43 | 3344332 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture




PUTIN: So, you are obviously the big dick. The men on the side of ya are your balls. Now there are two types of balls. There are big brave balls, and there are little mincey faggot balls.

ECB: These are your last words, so make them a prayer.
PUTIN: Now, dicks have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever. They smell pussy and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good old pussy, and have brought your two little mincey faggot balls along for a good old time. But you've got your parties muddled up. There's no pussy here, just a dose that'll make you wish you were born a woman. Like a prick, you are having second thoughts. You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with you. And the fact that you've got "IMF DRAFT-UNRATIFIED" written on your mandate...

[Zoom in on the ECB's mandate, which indeed has "IMF DRAFT-UNRATIFIED" written on it; zoom out, as they sneak peeks at their demand]

PUTIN: And the fact that I've got "7.62x41mm SP-4 special purpose noiseless cartridge"...

[Withdraws his gun and puts it on the table]

PUTIN: Written down the side of mine...

[They look, zoom in on the side of his gun, which indeed has "7.62x41mm SP-4 special purpose noiseless cartridge" etched on the side]

PUTIN: Should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now... Fuck off!



Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:45 | 3344361 vulcanraven
vulcanraven's picture

Epic Snatch quote!

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:54 | 3344398 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Now I know Putin does a lot of staged photo ops, i.e. Sambo-throwing bears and wingsuiting through canyons.  Now, look at the faces of the three suits behind Putin and tell me that their look of fear isn't real - 100%.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:19 | 3344497 sunaJ
sunaJ's picture

Assuming that this kind of theft from customers' accounts (the other and much larger one being through inflation) is a disaster for the Eurocrats, I believe it will leave Germany with only two options as this accelerates: start printing the euro or walk away from the union yourself.  I think they are going to walk.  They will have their own problems for sure, but I think they are ready to go.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:42 | 3344602 negative rates
negative rates's picture

But they are not so angry, given the oil exploration rights they have obtained for their haircut, if the other depositers were only so lucky.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 18:02 | 3344653 AssFire
AssFire's picture

Talk about lucky?

I wonder how many well connected types have multiple 99,999 euro accounts?

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 18:42 | 3344818 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

I don't think he's pleased.  If 'dangerous' translated correctly, he's commenting on their ignorance of the repercussions or I'd say he's about to get stern with somebody...  “unfair, unprofessional and dangerous,” Putin said...

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:18 | 3344502 MagicHandPuppet
MagicHandPuppet's picture

I do not support the initiation of violence ever.  However, I would completely understand the "why" if we find Joerg Asmussen's ( decapitated head on a spike along with any other Eurobank tyrant who voted for this criminal act.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:37 | 3344573 Doomer
Doomer's picture

If I were one of those 10 European bureaucrats, I'd be careful.

You might get the urge to kill yourself with two bullets to the back of the head.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 21:30 | 3345400 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Bullets not needed. Careful sippin your tea though, if it smells like almonds, you're already dead.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 21:57 | 3345492 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

then what the fuck do we have all these weapons for?

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:53 | 3344395 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

so at first the little guy is saved...but how saved are they? when all the penthouse owners have left the complex. now you and a few studio apt. owners are left to support all the condo fes as an unsecured creditor.....

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 23:38 | 3345789 jerry_theking_lawler
jerry_theking_lawler's picture

'they' will never understand.....unless, the penthouse owners have their own island setup and don't have to worry about the piss-ant studio apt owners living next to them.....

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:04 | 3344445 catacl1sm
catacl1sm's picture

What's up with the weird stitching on his suit's left arm?

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:11 | 3344479 blu
blu's picture

It's a hidden pocket containing a Russian tank division.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:26 | 3344483 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



...custom tailored with self-inflating tourniquets? 

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 18:20 | 3344726 Archduke
Archduke's picture

it looks like the stitching of a tactical blazer.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 19:10 | 3344906 NeedtoSecede
NeedtoSecede's picture

+1 Catac for noticing the suit. The Russians haven't been too big on "fashion" for the past 100 years, but they do know how to build shit to last forever. Just like the AK-47, not very pretty, but you can beat the shit out of it, and it will just keep running.

+1 for the avatar, gotta love Yukon Cornelius!

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:45 | 3344612 msamour
msamour's picture

Hahaha, isn't that from the movie Snatch? that was epic!

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 18:02 | 3344655 Freebird
Freebird's picture

Really these Cypriots should have pre-empted all this. The international going rate to launder funny money is 10% - they should have taken it on the way in...still cheap for them sneaky Russians to wash their gains, set up a Cypriot company & become respectable Eurotrash buying London, Marbella, Cannes..etc

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 18:47 | 3344839 Antifaschistische
Antifaschistische's picture

love it...this is great to watch.

It's very entertaining watching people act like these Russian VIPs earned money "the old fashioned way."  Sort of like Carlos Whatever in Mexico who happens to be the richest guy in the world.

All these uber wealthy guys became "wealthy" as a result of a fascist arrangement between their "business" and the government who passes out monopolies to friends and family.   These are the uber parasites just like American Banksters.

Now, it parasite vs. just doesn't get any better than this, pass the popcorn.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 19:04 | 3344886 Antifaschistische
Antifaschistische's picture

Putin almost does a better Robert DeNiro than Robert DeNiro.....but not quite.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 22:04 | 3345523 Leto II
Leto II's picture

Pussies don't like dicks because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes. Assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck a asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate. And it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves. Because pussies are a inch and half away from assholes. I don't know much about this crazy crazy world, but I do know this. If you don't let us fuck this asshole we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:45 | 3344364 silverserfer
silverserfer's picture

Let send in Ben Affleck disguesed as as a bearded hippy to rescue the saving accounts being held hostage.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 02:29 | 3345945 dunce
dunce's picture

How many eurocrats in Belgium could one Russian IED take out? What would be fair and balanced? They are not elected so they can not be voted out. Besides Russia is not as member but they presume to rule them. It is actually funny thinking about the guy Farage called a nobody bank clerk trying to get tough with Russian oligarchs.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:41 | 3344339 MillionDollarBonus_
MillionDollarBonus_'s picture

Fair is helping out when it is your duty to do so. Everyone needs to pay their fair share when they are called upon by their leaders. If you can afford to pay, you have a social responsibility to help out. It's a social contract.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:48 | 3344382 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

never the less...





Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:02 | 3344437 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

There seems to be some confusion.  Allow me to ass  ist..


If a town of 25 people suddenly had their accounts frozen and relieved of " a percentage " of their assets, it would cause a global bank run.


Yall gettin that?

It's about what happened, not where, or how, but, what.  ACCOUNT SEIZURE = FUCK A BANK on a global scale.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:50 | 3344386 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

Everyone needs to accept defeat, when defeated.  The money men are all about themselves, pushing social responsibility back onto innocent citizens.

How about you go over there and canvas innocent depositors to "do their fair share"?


Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:24 | 3344524 Leopold B. Scotch
Leopold B. Scotch's picture

I think the voters in these nations have done their "fair share" at proving that democracy gets exactly what it deserves when it betrays liberty for security. May as well just goop the whole vasaline jar up yer ol' shoot right then and there and at least you won't notice as much.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 19:26 | 3344958 boogerbently
boogerbently's picture

Exactly, and you see what WE'VE been voting for.

I'm thinking, now, maybe gold price won't be allowed to run up until AFTER our accounts are "siezed."

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 20:46 | 3354893 Ctrl_P
Ctrl_P's picture

NOW you're thinking.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:54 | 3344399 Professorlocknload
Professorlocknload's picture

I thought fair was when I ate my candy bar mom made big brother give me half of the one he saved?

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:00 | 3344424 Texas Ginslinger
Texas Ginslinger's picture


Put down the crack pipe, MDB.......

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:27 | 3344538 WhiteNight123129
WhiteNight123129's picture

MDB is surreal today.


Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:42 | 3344604 The Shootist
The Shootist's picture

Absolutely. From sublime to ridiculous.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 22:07 | 3345531 nufio
nufio's picture

sadly most werent cluing in on the sarcasm so he had to take it up a notch.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 19:27 | 3344965 boogerbently
boogerbently's picture

It must.....MUST be sarcasm.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:38 | 3344577 vulcanraven
vulcanraven's picture

If only the game wasn't a complete sham from top to bottom - and the set of rules for us serfs completely different than those of our overseers, would I not have a problem with holding up my "social responsibility".


Nice try though.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:34 | 3344312 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

The plan is to start with an outrageous demand and settle for slightly less. Then the next time you make a demand, more people have to take the hit because there was a compromise the last time.

Repeat a few times and eventually everyone has to pay up, even the poor folks at the bottom of the food chain.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:39 | 3344330 akak
akak's picture

First they came for the Russian oligarchs, but I did not speak up because I was not a Russian oligarch ....

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 23:41 | 3345795 jerry_theking_lawler
jerry_theking_lawler's picture

but....the Russian oligarchs may have a word or two to say about this whole thing before it is over....or at least, they know the US/banker elite is after them....and they will HEDGE accordingly (aka, gold, guns, booze).....

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:45 | 3344369 HD
HD's picture

"The plan is to start with an outrageous demand and settle for slightly less"

  Who told you about my sex life?


Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:10 | 3344470 slightlyskeptical
slightlyskeptical's picture


Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:34 | 3344559 SnobGobbler
SnobGobbler's picture

no shit, can i have 10% of your wife's time then sir? (just to compensate!) fucking shill...

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:38 | 3344579 Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture

I'm all for flexibility. In fact I'm willing to let them shoot all the Keynesian's with an AR 15 or a Kalashnikov.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:39 | 3344586 stant
stant's picture

russians have yachts as big as us destroyers

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 18:14 | 3344707 franzpick
franzpick's picture

MDB: Does 10%/3% sound "more fair and balanced" to you, closer to how "we need to change" in order to achieve "job growth and financial stability"?

Guess you'll be thrilled when you hear GoBombEm soon announce his similar plan for a large part of America that he hasn't yet destroyed, and we'll be thrilled when you get out of here and go over to where you belong.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 18:43 | 3344824 Bansters-in-my-...
Bansters-in-my- feces's picture

Hey MDB.... Assholes and opinions.... Everybody has one. But  well,you know...

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 20:16 | 3345175 T-Silver
T-Silver's picture

Stealing peoples money = Fair. You idiot!!!

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:28 | 3344283 Black Forest
Black Forest's picture

Ten are sufficient if you distribute evenly.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:39 | 3344334 akak
akak's picture

Oh, but that's "structuring"!

Automatic ten years in the federal pen.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:28 | 3344541 resurger
resurger's picture


Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:30 | 3344546 Sir Humphrey
Sir Humphrey's picture

Yes, in 11 different banking institutions. or just buy gold, guns and draft a getaway plan......

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:54 | 3344635 Debugas
Debugas's picture

yes that is right , the insurance in EU works per person per bank

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:22 | 3344253 barliman
barliman's picture


Putin is not going to send warships into Cypriot waters or boycott German cars ... that's a Chinese pussy move.

Putin is going to shut down the pipelines under his control due to "technical problems" with no estimate on will delivery will resume.

ALL of the EU will suddenly remember loss of Russian gas and oil shipments means ALL of their ECONOMIES will be TOTALLY FUCKED !

That's a Putin move.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:26 | 3344275 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Putin - doesn't he have a "good soul," or something like that? Somebody looked into his eyes once, IIRC, and determined he's really a great guy. Ted Kennedy, I think.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:30 | 3344299 kliguy38
kliguy38's picture

I think that "somebody" that looked into his eyes and said that had just been bent over for about an hour in the shower with him......

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:45 | 3344367 Texas Ginslinger
Texas Ginslinger's picture


Agreed.  Gazprom pipelines keep the EU supplied with natural gas.

The Russians will replace their lost billions with higher gas prices.

No pay - no gas.


Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:59 | 3344649 ali-ali-al-qomfri
ali-ali-al-qomfri's picture

who runs Bartertown?

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 19:31 | 3344983 boogerbently
boogerbently's picture

They withdraw their NG.


Oh, happy days are here, again !

See, I told you everything would work out.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:56 | 3344406 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

he will turn the gas back on thursday....

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:43 | 3344351 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Actually, that was Shrub. (not that it matters what ANY of them say)

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:56 | 3344408 Rustysilver
Rustysilver's picture


That someone who stared in people's eyes was George W.  That was after a trip to Moscow. I was like, WTF.  Is that how you measure people intentions?; look deeply into their eyes.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:07 | 3344455 catacl1sm
catacl1sm's picture

And McCain looked into Putin's eyes and saw, "KGB".

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:16 | 3344496 blu
blu's picture

KGB is now spelled RBN. But yeah, same thing.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 18:47 | 3344832 GOLDTRADERRR

It was our former 'genius' President, George W. Bush who 'looked into his eyes'.

What a fucking idiot he is.

I can only hope he and all his cronies are thrown in a deep, dark cell and tortured every day like

he allowed to be done to so many innocent people.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:29 | 3344284 James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

Putin is going to shut down the pipelines under his control due to "technical problems" with no estimate on will delivery will resume.

Iran will appreciate that. 

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:43 | 3344335 barliman
barliman's picture


Win-Win defined:

Russia reminds EU with a "Rockefeller Lesson" who has who by the balls. - Win

Iran "taking up the slack" shoves "Smart Power" diplomacy up the SCOAMF's asshole AND makes the idea of a military strike on Iran "completely unacceptable" to the EU. - Win

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:10 | 3344471 reload
reload's picture

But does Putin really give a fuck about this?

Is it his deposits under threat?

The deposits of his friends?

Is anybody considering it may suit him? ....are the depositors pissing him off hiding their money from his tax collectors - removing it from his influence. He is THE alpha dog in Russia, but there are many factions he does not like and who do not like him.



Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:25 | 3344530 blu
blu's picture

Alpha is right. Anybody hiding money in Cyprus is probably an old enemy or business partner trying to lay low.

But it works either way. If any friends are at risk of losing money he can do them "a favor" if they pay him a cut, support his policies at home, and murder his 24 yo Cypriot mistress that's giving him crap.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:29 | 3344543 barliman
barliman's picture


Vladimir Putin can publicly announce he will pay out of his own pocket to make the depositors whole.

Ths will make him VERY popular in Cyprus ... why he could probably get  elected President.  ;->

Privately, in Russia, he can have his people meet with the Russian account holders and explain to them THEY are going to pay the levy voluntarily and very quietly OR spend the next 10 years in a Siberian gulag for tax evasion.

If Putin does not like you in Russia ... playing the locally named roulette is your best option.

Oh ... so another Win for Putin.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:24 | 3344528 James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

Iran "taking up the slack" shoves "Smart Power" diplomacy up the SCOAMF's asshole AND makes the idea of a military strike on Iran "completely unacceptable" to the EU. - Win

But you're missing the x-factor - John McCain is going to be willy willy angwee! 

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:29 | 3344287 pods
pods's picture

Who runs Bartertown!


Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:24 | 3344267 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

VSPs (Very Serial People) such as Paul Krugman, Bill McBride & Noah Smith are dissapointed that not all Cyprus bank "savings" accounts are subject to confiscation of a certain % of their fiat, but they're also relieved that no due process of any form (let alone substance) was applied when making the arbitary & capricious decision to increase the % of fiat in such "savings" accounts above €100,000 that is being confiscated (since any such accounts are all undoubtedly the byproduct of "dirty deeds").

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:45 | 3344353 machineh
machineh's picture

VSPs (Very Serial People) such as Paul Krugman, Bill McBride & Noah Smith are dissapointed ...

As is this MSM-friendly commentator, whose site looks like it was designed by 8th grade science students on acid.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:54 | 3344567 sunaJ
sunaJ's picture

I did the math under the second restatement, and if you had 100,100 euros in your account and your buddy had 93,100 euros in his account, by Thursday when and if the banks open, you'd both have just over 90k euros but he'd have about 100 more euros than you.  Plenty of EU pixie dust goin' around...who wants some more?

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 19:35 | 3345005 boogerbently
boogerbently's picture

Has Nigel Farage responded, yet?

That will be CLASSIC.


Mon, 03/18/2013 - 19:59 | 3345121 socalbeach
socalbeach's picture

The 15.6% haircut may only be on the uninsured portion of a depositor's balance, or 100 euros in your example.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:25 | 3344272 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

They do know the majority of those dollars are Russian mafia right?

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:31 | 3344303 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Long horse heads.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:40 | 3344337 akak
akak's picture

Short horse heads work well too.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:47 | 3344371 machineh
machineh's picture

When the still sea conspires an armor
And her sullen and aborted
Currents breed tiny monsters
True sailing is dead

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:09 | 3344462 catacl1sm
catacl1sm's picture

John Kerry and Sarah Jessica Parker's heads?


ps. Imagine what their children would look like.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 20:38 | 3345252 akak
akak's picture

The British royal family, most likely.


Tue, 03/19/2013 - 04:46 | 3346020 Galahad Threepwood
Galahad Threepwood's picture

I'm not sure the Russian mafia is that subtle

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:41 | 3344343 Things that go bump
Things that go bump's picture

Synonymous with violent sociopath. I'm sure they will take this well. 

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:48 | 3344622 The Heart
The Heart's picture

"I doubt this rumored concession will appease the Russians."

You ain't just a whistling Dixie! Somebody is in big doo-doo.

The wild card? Russia invades and annexes Cyprus, and then tells the IMF and EU to go stuff it where the sun don't shine.

“What’s just happened is the IMF has backed up, lauded, supported, and publicized, as if it were a victory, the taking of 10% of what really turns out to be 80% of Russian ‘black money.’  Russian ‘black money’ is KGB money, now in business.  The leader of Russia (Putin) was a former KGB official.  Whose money do you think they have taken?  This is the biggest mistake the IMF could possibly have ever made.”

Jim Sinclair-King World News

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 18:46 | 3344834 ambrosiac
ambrosiac's picture

Russian kleptocrats never expected the Cypriot Inquisition. Buiter says, pay for your sins infidels.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:48 | 3344594 The Heart
The Heart's picture



Mon, 03/18/2013 - 18:09 | 3344688 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

Hey, does that guy got one of them "Bernanke Bazooka's" I've been hearing about?

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 21:33 | 3345408 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

This is a trial balloon to see what Russia may do or the people might do.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:14 | 3344198 sunnydays
sunnydays's picture

The Russians no doubt are the ones who have made some of the parliament members rethink their vote of approving the haircut.  Russians haven't put their money there for haircuts in the first place.  They have put it there for their hair to grow long.   But no one in Europe or in the U.S. should feel their money is safe as long as it is in a bank that is ultimately controlled by the Fed.   The only place people can feel warm and fuzzy and secure is in nice hard metal that shines. 

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:18 | 3344233 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

I have a feeling these "haircuts" are gonna turn into Cuban Neckties Russian style!

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:48 | 3344380 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture




They'd eat their children before they'd part with money and they love their children.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:14 | 3344204 Lohn Jocke
Lohn Jocke's picture

Fold rhymes with Gold

Fiat rhymes with fascist plutocrat bastards.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:15 | 3344210 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Perhaps this whole thing was simply smoke to distract the sheep?

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:38 | 3344327 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

It sure did push last Friday's JPMorgan hearings to the back burner.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:45 | 3344365 rqb1
rqb1's picture

Good point.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:39 | 3344333 Alpo for Granny
Alpo for Granny's picture

Gold Comradez!

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 18:36 | 3344787 Dingleberry
Dingleberry's picture

Never steal from a thief, comrades.

I suspect the Ruskies will get revenge. Unless the money if from oligarchs that Putin hates. Maybe he sanctioned the hit on their accounts? 

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 18:49 | 3344843 Parth
Parth's picture

New Guy Ritchie movie in the works "Rock 'n' Rolla AK47 Cypriola"!

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:09 | 3344164 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

What happens in fractional reserve banking when the local fraction goes away?

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:14 | 3344194 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

I believe it's called "New Math".

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:14 | 3344203 ShortTheUS
ShortTheUS's picture

Exactly! Now, people will just withdraw as much as they can knowing its safe to do so for a while...

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:29 | 3344292 Al Huxley
Al Huxley's picture

...assuming the banks actually reopen.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:19 | 3344235 savagegoose
savagegoose's picture

same as any math  with  div/ 0 in the formula

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:46 | 3344370 _ConanTheLibert...
_ConanTheLibertarian_'s picture

you get DIVIDE by ZERO

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:09 | 3344467 Matt
Matt's picture

sweet, infinite wealth!

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:10 | 3344474 catacl1sm
catacl1sm's picture

Dived by zero.



Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:11 | 3344172 catacl1sm
catacl1sm's picture

Who are the counter-parties to the Cyprus banks?

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:22 | 3344520 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

And what defines a credit event?

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:11 | 3344174 Salah
Salah's picture

Angry mob at German Embassy in Cyprus...guy climbs up building and tears down flag, throwing to mob.  Video courtesy of GLP.


Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:29 | 3344291 Dapper Dan
Dapper Dan's picture

Best rant yet regarding Cyprus,

The Artist Taxi Driver explains Cyprus.

"The poor know where the rich live and the rich are outnumbered."

WalStreetPro has relocated to London to work as a cabbie. Extreme profanity warning.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 18:17 | 3344718 The Heart
The Heart's picture

"Angry mob at German Embassy in Cyprus...guy climbs up building and tears down flag, throwing to mob."

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:11 | 3344176 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

It takes a generation to foster institutional trust and a millisecond to wreck it.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:13 | 3344180 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Fear factor red alert: Financial terrorist Larry Summers appears on CNBC

The sky might fall. The ATMs will stop working, There'll be marshall lawlessness within hours if you don't give us banksters the people's money.

Fuck You Larry Summers. Did I authorize you to take control of my money? No. So fuck you.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:16 | 3344219 Tinky
Tinky's picture

If I had the opportunity to waterboard any of the main protagonists (solely to gain actionable intelligence, mind you), it would be Summers.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:33 | 3344313 pods
pods's picture

I would do it but I really don't care what they have to say so it would morph into a regular old drowning.


Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:13 | 3344487 catacl1sm
catacl1sm's picture

Cuz the guillotine is too civilized for his kind.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:40 | 3344591 Spigot
Spigot's picture

For starters, starting at the top, a 1 cm per slice vivisection procedure might be a good standing, though, eh?

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:13 | 3344182 Edward Fiatski
Edward Fiatski's picture

Bluff called.


Well, at least the EUR should be able to close today's gap. :)

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:17 | 3344184 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

Putin was mad when they were taking $3 billion from Russian accounts before.  Now that is a 50% increase to $4.5 billion from Russian accounts.

Russia may boycott German cars as the Chinese boycotted Japanese cars,  In any case, Germany can "recycle" 1 million more new cars.

With the collapse of Europe's auto market, and the channel-stuffing that is rife in every car manufacturer in the world, it is no surprise that at the end of their brief lease periods, European cars (Audi in this case) are being led to this 'graveyard' in Germany (70 miles north of Munich).

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:20 | 3344249 aka Gil
aka Gil's picture

Fortunately it's almost spring in northern Europe. If they can back-pedal for another month or so, they won't have to fret about Russia cutting back on the delivery of natural gas until next winter.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 18:07 | 3344675 JoeSoMD
JoeSoMD's picture

Not totally correct... german industry and powerplants require the gas.

Maybe US gas could be shuttled into the EU, but I don't think there would be enough time to pull this off before there was production impact.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 18:32 | 3344768 Massholio
Massholio's picture

Interesting plan, THe EU might be forced to buy LNG from the US at higher prices...

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:13 | 3344186 franzpick
franzpick's picture

What's the good news about that?  That was GoBombEm's tax plan...

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:13 | 3344191 e m m
e m m's picture

Looks like they decided to raise the money by running upside stops in the market.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:14 | 3344205 Edward Fiatski
Edward Fiatski's picture


Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:14 | 3344197 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture



It becomes obvious that someone has too much power when they start doing very stupid shit.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:43 | 3344347 DosZap
DosZap's picture

Asked for a comment on this event,OBlameo said "No Comment".

True meaning= HE agrees it's fine.

That will instill even MORE faith in his trustworthiness.

Trust, once violated is almost never achieved again.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:09 | 3344465 Professorlocknload
Professorlocknload's picture

Thought maybe it was because they couldn't find a place to plug in the teleprompter.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:08 | 3344460 Rustysilver
Rustysilver's picture



They have been doing stupid thins as long as I can remember. I think now people will start paying attention.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:30 | 3344548 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture



True, that's why I qualified it with very.

Another example from the US:

Putting a 10% luxury tax on the purchase of all new yachts so that industry packs up and leaves.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:14 | 3344200 Yikes
Yikes's picture

My guess. 

1. The EU and IMF totally fold. 

2. Germany realizes there is no escape from the Southern Europe hell hole. 

3. Germany leaves Euro.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:23 | 3344262 Nothing To See Here
Nothing To See Here's picture

Actually, I would not be surprised if this was all set up by Germany as to innocently create a good excuse to leave it. Cyprus is the perfect culprit, unlike the PIGS.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:59 | 3344407 SDShack
SDShack's picture

Yep, Merkel has an election coming up and sees the handwriting on the wall. The German people are not going to continue to endure recession to fund bailouts to Southern EU countries that lie and refuse to make fundamental changes to their deficit spending. This was the Merkel hail mary pass to tell the parasites to pony up or it will be every country for themselves. Merkel got a great big Nein. Could be the great reset is starting.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:10 | 3344472 Rustysilver
Rustysilver's picture

Can Merkel make it until Sptember.

Septembers in Europe are aways full of suprises.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 18:11 | 3344701 JoeSoMD
JoeSoMD's picture

I don't know... I haven't seen german poll data that supports the contention that germans are ready to bail.  There are age-group pockets that show a preference for leaving, but across all age groups it is not indicated by the poll data.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 16:47 | 3344377 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

4. Can kicked until war "breaks out."

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 17:10 | 3344468 Crash Overide
Crash Overide's picture

Maybe this was just a test run to see if they could get away with it...

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