A London Cabbie Explains The Great EU Bank Robbery And Much Much More

Tyler Durden's picture


Still in WallStreetPro withdrawal? We may have just the methadone fix for you... "You will lose your f##king money in your bank," is how this English gentleman cabbie begins his caustic diatribe against all that is wrong with European (and in fact) the world of bankers and elites. The so-called 'artist taxi driver' has a spit-flying hand-smashing epic rant while sitting in his taxi. "They did a stress test on the banks in Cyprus 18 months ago and said it's f##king great" and now this; "this is some f##king crooked shit." "They're off their f##king nuts mate," he explains as he asks rhetorically of the bankers getting the bailouts, "how many f##king ponies do their daughters' need?"

Insightfully he remarks that, "Cyprus could be the beginning of a bigger and f##king worse financial crisis," and exclaims "[Goldman Sachs and the Bankers] are looking after their own interest - who are they f##king borrowing money to in Cyprus?" His exasperation is one many can empathize with we are sure as he concludes, "We need to shut down the f##king markets... What kind of society allows the rich people to be gambling while the poor people f##king die," ending with a warning, "Wake the f##k up!"

"If they can take the money from Cyprus, they can do it anywhere - do you get that in your nuts?"

Enjoy (with the volume turned down)...

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Mon, 03/18/2013 - 19:21 | 3344938 ihedgemyhedges
ihedgemyhedges's picture

Now THAT'S a guy I'd like to have a beer with!!!  OY!!!

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 19:26 | 3344952 ACP
ACP's picture

Just make sure it's a pub build like a bomb shelter...let's see how long that guy lasts before being droned...

Edit: I disagree with the "bankers should be locked up" part. No banker should be locked up, just hanged.

Edit edit: Strike that...flayed, drawn, quartered and hanged with whatever is left.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 19:50 | 3344966 TwoShortPlanks
TwoShortPlanks's picture

This is simply a financial ambush followed by a sovereign coup d'état.

The irony is, the Russian Mafia is more of an ally than our own Banking System.

The logic and reasoning is all in Holdren's Ecoscience (1977). If you haven't read it, do so. IT'S. ALL. IN. THERE!!!

John Holdren's Ecoscience (1977)
Ecoscience: Population, Resources, Environment
Obama's Science Advisor Called For Planetary Regime To Enforce Totalitarian Population Control Measures (ie. 1984, Hunger Games etc)



This has been an announcement from 'Team Agenda21': The REAL Global Police

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 19:50 | 3345079 american eyedol
american eyedol's picture

that maybe peirs morgan is disguise

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 19:54 | 3345095 James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

This ought to be entered as expert witness testimony at the next JPM hearing.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 19:59 | 3345116 Stackers
Mon, 03/18/2013 - 21:06 | 3345326 WonderDawg
WonderDawg's picture

As eloquent and stylish as this gent is, he's got nothing on a buddy of mine from Jersey.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 21:54 | 3345478 Pegasus Muse
Pegasus Muse's picture

London Cabbie has been spending way too much time on ZeroHedge.  lol 

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 22:36 | 3345616 1C3-N1N3
1C3-N1N3's picture

I didn't take LongSoupLine for a Brit...Right on, man.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 22:49 | 3345655 silverserfer
silverserfer's picture

Fuck yeah!  I feel like breakin stuff! time to thrash! 

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 23:20 | 3345746 Element
Element's picture

Give the man a raise! ... I feel your anger Brother ... spot on.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 23:46 | 3345800 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

I only wish Max Keiser was still in London to have this guy on his show.  Ofcourse it would just be a "bleep" fest, but it it still would make for an interesting show.

In Max's next show tomorrow, he contends that Jamie Dimon is really tape worm operating in the colon of the world.  Once and a while Jamie pops his tapeworm head out the world's asshole to say hello, but then crawls back up our ass to make the world miserable.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 02:30 | 3345943 Boris Alatovkrap
Boris Alatovkrap's picture

Slight off of topic... Can is get tapeworm from eat horse meat. Boris is familiar with unpleasantry and recommend is first boil meat at 3 hours. If has industrial grade pasteurizing tank, maybe is can do for shorter time.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 03:05 | 3345967 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

In Orenburg, traditional method is have horse or bear drink 10 to 20 liters of pure vodka of 200 proof, or until animal keel over and die, along with any parasites attached.  Butcher and save blood to make delicious Juka that is already seasoned.

Close to Chernobyl, tapeworms & parasites in wild horse or bear less issue since tapeworm generation sterilized long ago. Can cook meat on ground there. 2 minute is medium well.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 17:39 | 3349658 Boris Alatovkrap
Boris Alatovkrap's picture

Is remind Boris of special brand of vodka, is put tape worm in bottle like a Tequila. But, once, when Boris is work at Russia Academy of Sciences, find bottle with large worm in bio-sciences lab and sneak drink. Not so great... tastes is like formaldehyde.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 04:22 | 3346010 Halobitt
Halobitt's picture

FEDbuster, Max has been in ChunkyMark's taxi a couple of times.



Tue, 03/19/2013 - 03:57 | 3345997 sadmamapatriot
sadmamapatriot's picture

 No shit! That was my first thought. Obviously a Zero Hedger. And if he isn't, he damn well should be.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 20:48 | 3345283 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

i think this is jim jefferies....ive been following him for awhile....never boring....never

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 20:40 | 3345263 zorba THE GREEK
zorba THE GREEK's picture

This guy only convinces me further that WW3 will be between the ultra-wealthy with their bought

and paid for governments and the people they intend to enslave. First, they will need an excuse

to take away our guns. 

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 04:27 | 3345990 Daily Bail
Daily Bail's picture

This might be a better clip.  He completely loses it a few times.  He has real talent.  He's actually a performance artist with a BA in theater.  I have the link to his wikipedia page in this story.

Artist Taxi Driver: Goldman Sachs Sends Message To Spain


Tue, 03/19/2013 - 07:55 | 3346230 onthesquare
onthesquare's picture

In the good old days, when everyone had their own currency, the Greek currency would have taken a 10% drop.  The EU was going to act as a buffer to share the hard times with their 10 other sister countries.  This is the way they are goint back to the currency value adjust.

I still think the glass is half empty

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 19:40 | 3344982 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Here's an idea:  Quit fighting the inevitable and just break up the European Union sooner, rather than later, which will save massive costs, spare massive levels of further economic and societal strife, and possibly prevent much, much worse consequences as a result of trying to extend such an unsustainable exercise that's precisely akin to attempting to deny basic mathematical formulas or the laws of physics.

p.s. As mentioned many times before, the Ponzi that is the fractional reserve private fiat currency closed loop monetary system, whereby a central bank "front man" acts at the behest of private banking concerns, with such banking concerns having literally purchased the representatives and regulators of sovereign nations, which was born in England, is and has been a major source of conflict between nations such as Germany & England for more than a century now, and will continue to be so until this systemic fraud is replaced by a system that genuinely serves the interest of the majority of citizens in truly sovereign nations, and a system that promotes & rewards genuine economic productivity, rather than clever financial scheming and gaming.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 19:45 | 3345053 scatterbrains
scatterbrains's picture

Cyprus should go long levered as much silver both phyzz, paper as well as secure exclusive contracts to buy as much silver as a few big miners can pull out of the ground over a period of time then pull the fucking pin on the Euro then kick back and watch the dominoes fall, major banks collapse,  silver shoot to $500 an oz. and suddenly Cyprus becomes the little country that could.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 19:56 | 3345105 TwoShortPlanks
TwoShortPlanks's picture

Cyrus should invite the Chinese to have a Naval Base there.....how do ya like them apples UN?!

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 21:33 | 3345410 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

Miley or Billy Ray?

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 21:40 | 3345429 WmMcK
WmMcK's picture

I was thinking Cyrus the Elder.  Does that make me out of date?

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 20:23 | 3345108 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

By the way, this cabbie is saying the exact thing George Carlin said here:

George Carlin on "the American Dream" - YouTube

It's never going to get any better, don't look for it, be happy with what you've got...BECAUSE THE OWNERS OF THIS COUNTRY DON'T WANT THAT. I'm talking about the real owners now...the REAAL owners. The big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions.

Forget the politicians. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice . . . you don't. You have no choice. You have OWNERS. They OWN *you*. They own everything. They own all the important land. They own and control the corporations. They've long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear.

They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying . . . to get what they want ... They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but Ill tell you what they don't want . . . they don't want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. They don't want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. They're not interested in that . . . that doesn't help them. That's against their interests. That's right. They don't want people who are smart enough to sit around a kitchen table and think about how badly they're getting ***** by a system that threw them overboard 30 *****' years ago.

They don't want that. You know what they want? They want obedient workers . . . Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. And just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly ***** jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime and vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it, [****and now they're coming for your Social Security money. They want your *****' retirement money. They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street, and you know something? They'll get it . . . they'll get it all from you sooner or later cause they own this *****' place.*******] It's a big club and you ain't in it. You and I are not in The big club. By the way, its the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. The table has tilted folks. The game is rigged and nobody seems to notice. Nobody seems to care. Good honest hard-working people . . . white collar, blue collar it doesn't matter what color shirt you have on. Good honest hard-working people continue, these are people of modest means . . . continue to elect these rich ***** who dont give a ***** about you. They dont give a ***** about you . . . they dont give a ***** about you. They dont care about you at all . . . at all . . . at all, and nobody seems to notice. Nobody seems to care. That's what the owners count on. . .

-George Carlin

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 20:34 | 3345232 Banksters
Banksters's picture

George was our Voltaire.   

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 22:44 | 3345341 Ident 7777 economy
Ident 7777 economy's picture







" By the way, this cabbie is saying the exact thing George Carlin said here:"


George Carlin on "the American Dream" - YouTube

It's never going to get any better, don't look for it, be happy with what you've got...BECAUSE THE OWNERS OF THIS COUNTRY DON'T WANT THAT. I'm talking about the real owners now...the REAAL owners

- - - - - - - - -- 

Doesn't explain the Bill Gates (MS), Steve Jobs (Apple), Michael Dells (Dell doh!), Andy Grove of Intel et al (THIS AINT'NT FOOCKIN 1950 BOYS WHERE ALL THE ELITE MAGNATES WITH THE MONEY BACK EAST ARE CALLING ALL THE SHOTS!!!) ... his material is dated  ... even the MIGHTY GM ain't no more ...


Sorry to ruin your pity-party, "sunshine".



Mon, 03/18/2013 - 22:58 | 3345679 silverserfer
silverserfer's picture

^ Ident another dipshit who actualy believes in the publiciezed top 100 wealthiest induviduals in the US. theyre not, their arms are twisted and allowed to do what they do. The club has a PR dept and you are suckin it all up. Just beacuse they go to Bilderberg once doesnt make them the saints you are geting at.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 23:04 | 3345696 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

go past people magazine when you read about uncle bill, m-kay?

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 23:23 | 3345741 prains
prains's picture


your just another tool backing the meritocracy (sorry you don't know what that is). It doesn't matter what pool of hate you come from left or right, the market is cornered by the dominance of oligarchy, this is borne out by our entire human history. It is inevitable no matter what "system" you propogate. And all you argue for in your list of names is for more meritocrats, when really behing their banner is more oligarchy.

please educate yourself

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 23:59 | 3345814 Lore
Lore's picture

Argument makes some people stop thinking. Just ignore.

Give him time. We were all there once. His thinking will expand.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 20:02 | 3345132 rocker
rocker's picture

Thank You Zero Hedge for Finding this one.

Your plan sounds great about what Cyprus should do. But you miss the point. JPMorgan and most likely Goldman are controlling the price of precious metals. JP most likely still has their shorts in place.  If you watch what is going on the market is exposing the greatest ponzi scheme in real time.  The Gold and other miners are ALL near 52 week lows. So what does that tell us. This is the sector the Banking Cartel is forcing down so they can buy them on the cheap. They don't care who they bankrupt in this process. All the better for them. African miners getting shot because the won't work as the slaves the mine owners demand of them. Slavery is still alive. The debt slaves of the world work to pay banks their hard earned money so the banksters can maintain their lavish lifestyles. Hank Paulson and Neel Kashkari, (both X Goldman empoyees) engineered the bailouts in the U.S. so that Lloyd Blankfein could get his 100 million dollar bonus immediately after the bailouts. The banksters should get some Jail time, but Bambi is scared of them too. Let's face it. The Goldman's and Morqans rule the World.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 20:40 | 3345258 rayduh4life
rayduh4life's picture

"give me control of a nations currency and I care not who makes it's laws".  Barron Rothchild.


"As a man of sense, I am a gold bug and I support a goldbug government and goldbug society.  As a man of the world, I like confusion, anarchy and war".  J.P. Morgan.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 22:20 | 3345567 hawk nation
hawk nation's picture

went to four coin shops today and they had a total of 3 ounces of gold and call 2 more and they had one ounce


the end is near

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 23:00 | 3345685 silverserfer
silverserfer's picture

try nuggets they fill in sachs very well

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 19:50 | 3345075 flacon
flacon's picture

Can't break up the EU because of CDS. "We Are One" now. 

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 22:35 | 3345614 Antifaschistische
Antifaschistische's picture

the only thing Cab Guy is missing is the distinction between Capitalism and Fascism.  "Free Markets" aren't giving Cypriots the hair cut!   This is the total antithesis of free markets.  This is completely enslaved markets...moving at the will of the masters.  We are all fighting slavery...not freedom.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 21:15 | 3345342 GOLDTRADERRR

They should be kept alive and made to endure the pain they have inflected on us all.

Put them in dark, dirty cells in a horrible old prison and make them scrub floors on their

hands and knees ALL DAY, EVERY DAY with a toothbrush.

Make the rest of their rotton live  A LIVING HELL!


Fri, 03/22/2013 - 18:50 | 3364196 Debt-Is-Not-Money
Debt-Is-Not-Money's picture

Yeah, like Chateau D'If

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 21:28 | 3345393 Go Tribe
Go Tribe's picture

Ass-raped first.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 19:30 | 3344956 sunaJ
sunaJ's picture

He's a ZHer, for sure.  I can just fucking sense it.


Mon, 03/18/2013 - 19:31 | 3344978 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Lots o' fucks. Might be Soupy.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 19:39 | 3345023 Parrotile
Parrotile's picture

Well noticed: From the accent definitely East London, so maybe Soupy lives in a des. res. Docklands pad??

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 20:40 | 3345257 dick cheneys ghost
Tue, 03/19/2013 - 05:21 | 3346037 justinius1969
justinius1969's picture

He is not a cockney.. more home counties..

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 22:33 | 3345608 Spigot
Spigot's picture

I'm partial to the idea that he's one of our Tyler Durdens.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 20:43 | 3345270 Blackfox
Blackfox's picture

The guy has been on the Max Kieser show, he also has lung cancer sadly. His rants are epic about the state of the uk.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 19:28 | 3344967 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

Imagine what it would be like to go to a Manchester United match with him.

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