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Would You Rather Have Your Deposits Confiscated, Or Used By JPMorgan's Prop Trading Desk To Buy Stocks?

Tyler Durden's picture




 

At this point a question is in order: while in Cyprus, and soon probably elsewhere, the government will openly confiscate deposits to fund insolvent banking systems, in the US excess deposits are used by the prop desks of banks like JPMorgan to inflate risk assets, corner a bond market (IG9), and to generally create a wealth effect... for the 1%.

Recall this chart from JPM's CIO June 13, 2012 financial results appendix, which explains precisely who funded JPM's rogue London trader, made so infamous this past Friday which now seems like an eternity ago:

The answer? You, dear US depositor.

So answer this - would you rather have your savings confiscated... or used by JPMorgan to gun the farce formerly known as the market to ever higher, previously unseen highs, and serve as collateral to fund short positions in a variety of commodity classes?

And, following that, who is truly the biggest loser here?

(for more, read "The "Big Three" Banks Are Gambling With $860 Billion In Deposits")

 

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Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:37 | 3342049 Capitalist
Capitalist's picture

aaaaaaand it's gone.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:38 | 3342053 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

That's what happens when you don't have a plan C.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:44 | 3342087 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

Know The Law, bitchezzz!!!

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:47 | 3342104 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

That's applicable under normal circumstances only.  When fruad becomes the status quo, posession is 100% of the law.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:50 | 3342117 CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture

Wrong HH.

 

10/10ths is more like it these days.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:54 | 3342143 FL_Conservative
FL_Conservative's picture

I vote for neither option.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:56 | 3342151 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

When you come to a fork in the road, take it.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:00 | 3342175 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

Ramp o' Rama, Markets going green by days end

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:05 | 3342193 aint no fortuna...
aint no fortunate son's picture

ha, try by 10:30... this miserable excuse for a human being has permanently destroyed the concept of price discovery

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:18 | 3342251 tickertapeguide
tickertapeguide's picture

Price discovery?  I thought the fed outlawed such outlandish ideas!  Watching this joke of a market makes me glad I am neither long nor short... damn, just realized I'm in cash, stupid currency debasement.

 

www.tickertapeguide.com

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:30 | 3342288 SafelyGraze
SafelyGraze's picture

"Would You Rather Have Your Deposits Confiscated?"

let's just call it "tithing"

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:53 | 3342408 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

<== Hang the confiscators & the prop traders

<== Hang the prop traders & the confiscators

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 13:46 | 3343328 Panafrican Funk...
Panafrican Funktron Robot's picture

Yeah, being long USD, kinda risky.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:37 | 3342335 helping_friendl...
helping_friendly_book's picture

The London Market has to close first before Kevin henry starts his magic. he can't ramp until volume is lower.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:57 | 3342156 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

The pie chart should also be melting like an S. Dali clock...

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:03 | 3342187 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Cheap Bastard, seeing that you are math-challenged (100% = 10/10), perhaps "Poor Bastard" seems more fitting.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 23:16 | 3345734 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

"I want the Truth!"

"You can't handle the Truth", you sissy down-arrowers. 

After all Cheap Bastard was the one who took a swing at somebody else and showed his ignorance.  I simply exposed, and ribbed him for it.  This it Fight Club.  Grow the fuck up, damn Socialists!

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:01 | 3342178 resurger
resurger's picture

WOW! The markets shrug off Cyprus!!!!

the 1 cent DOW 36,000 book is becoming a reality...

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 11:10 | 3342520 max2205
max2205's picture

WHY would anyone keep their money in a bank that didn't pay ANY interest...that's the real question

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 01:07 | 3345887 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

For those of us who don't want to live 'off the grid' completely, there's still a middle road possible.  To each his own, but my sense of 'balance' is to use the free checking account (free if you have a payroll deposit) and leave $1-2k in Savings.  The rest is in cash in a safe.  Some at home, some at a trust company's safety deposit box.  Ditto for PM.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:35 | 3342317 CaptainObvious
CaptainObvious's picture

I thoroughly subscribe to that law.  So much so that I just got back from withdrawing all but $30 from my bank account and buying some gold, silver, ammo, and food with it.  I don't need to leave any money in there since all my bills are local and paid in person with cash anyway.  I hope the US gubmint enjoys that whole $3 when they decide to confiscate 10% of all US depositor funds.  They can even have my blessing with the $3, while I'm sitting on stuff they can't confiscate until they finally come out in the open, by which point it will be very difficult to confiscate.  Get it out now, folks. Be the first in line. Be Icelandic.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:13 | 3342232 markettime
markettime's picture

The market will ramp higher today on some headline. Gold will come down to where it was before the news of Cypress. Nothing to see here, move along everyone. Forget the thought of the government just confiscating your savings, it will never happen under the peace loving Obama regime. Dow 36,000 here we come! 

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 12:26 | 3342961 Doomer
Doomer's picture

Yep, but a "positive" headline is not even needed.

Days like this are nothing but coordinated bear slaughtering exercises.

If you don't want to be long this market, that is a defensible position.

But for the love of God, everyone should know by now that you cannot try to short this market, unless you have inside info, and even then only for about the first 5 minutes of trading.

God help anyone who wants the truth to be reflected in this market sooner rather than later.  You're tilting at windmills.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:42 | 3342072 spine001
spine001's picture

Who Osama? :)

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:58 | 3342165 spine001
spine001's picture

It is all a joke. I'm doing an EMBA, I started it to see if I could get an understanding different from what I have today (ZH) of what they are doing and why they are doing it. Sadly, my worries are only getting worse. Whenever I asked detailed questions the professors get nervous, change the subject or cut me short. They don't even try to defend what is going on, they want to just give us their material. Sadly for them I have earned the respect of my classmates and they are all starting to challenge them.

For instance, given the balance sheet you show above, if only 10 % of the loans/investments go bad, they go bankrupt. They basically have NO equity to speak of for the size of their balance sheet. The whole thing is ridiculous and a Ponze scheme. Some of the professors don't even fight it, they ourightly agree. The whole world is bankrupt and things are only getting worse NOT better.

Until next time,

Engineer

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:04 | 3342188 resurger
resurger's picture

Because their salaries is based on perpetuating the fraud Spine001

respect either way

+1

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:43 | 3342077 Groundhog Day
Groundhog Day's picture

All this noise and all we get is 70 point drop in the DOW.  Big Fuckin deal now BTFD.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:48 | 3342106 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

 

 

From now on, drops in the Dow are "transient"; they do not fit with the meme and thus are not to be tolerated.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:54 | 3342140 Ness.
Ness.'s picture

It only took 20 mintues to 'fix' the market. All is well again.  Green by the close.  Move on.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:10 | 3342191 spine001
spine001's picture

Forget about the DOW drop, that is being manipulated with our own money, the key is what is behind that level. And it is beign sustained by NON_EXISTANT electronic money and our own money sitting idle in the banks. Look again at the balance sheet of JPM, they are leveraging their equity 12 times (remember EU banks tend to be leveraged 70 times :):)), meaning that they are betting with our money, not theirs, so who cares how much the dow is really worth. This will keep on going until it doesn't and you and me will be the last ones to know when they will stop the music.

The only real information there is that they are betting 58.2% of their money in speculation and only what is left on the real economy, how is that for a bubble?

Either live with your ear glued to the underground blogs and SELL as soon as you think the music is about to stop or stay OUT like most of the retail is doing. Let them fight till death.

Until next time,

Engineer

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:08 | 3342210 useless_fact
useless_fact's picture

In 2005, with the help of NASA satellite imagery, it was estimated that there were approximately 400 billion, 246 million trees on the earth. That would be approximately 61 trees per person.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:28 | 3342276 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

How do I lay claim on my 61?

I want 'em.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:37 | 3342050 CvlDobd
CvlDobd's picture

I just like being raped. I'm not real picky about the position.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:39 | 3342060 Shizzmoney
Shizzmoney's picture

It's not so much the position, as it is about the LUBE used.

i.e. none here!

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:46 | 3342100 Johnny_Reb
Johnny_Reb's picture

Always thought Dimon was a dry guy.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:49 | 3342110 Ljoot
Ljoot's picture

Any kind of lube will do

Maybe from another part of you.

Lube from the north.

Lube from the south.

Get a little slobber

From the side of your mouth. - FZ

 

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:06 | 3342200 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

TMI, TMI!

Too Much Info.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:52 | 3342127 pods
pods's picture

I'm long Astroglide.

pods

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:56 | 3342154 duo
duo's picture

The gold and silver miners know how you feel...without lube.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:38 | 3342054 Shooting Shark
Shooting Shark's picture

How long before Ben Bernanke writes a check on your ^H^H^H^H my account to cover the Cypriot haircut?

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:40 | 3342067 Shooting Shark
Shooting Shark's picture

I mean, given a choice between getting robbed for domestic purposes and being robbed for overseas purposes, I ask, why must I choose?

 

"Death!  By Boogah-Boogah!"

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:38 | 3342055 Shizzmoney
Shizzmoney's picture

"JP Morgan made the Whale bet with their OWN money"

- Maria Bartiromo, CNBC anchor, Public Relations Liason for JP Morgan

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:01 | 3342179 GolfHatesMe
GolfHatesMe's picture

Whats yours is theirs

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:39 | 3342059 spine001
spine001's picture

Definitively used by JPM

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:39 | 3342062 CClarity
CClarity's picture

The Fed.  Our "bad bank" after all.  And the $2Trillion created via banks parking deposits there for money rather than lending want to amp it up via prop trading.  Farcical charades everywhere.  

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:40 | 3342064 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

 

 

I make all my deposits with a shovel now.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:42 | 3342363 CaptainObvious
CaptainObvious's picture

You nonconformist, you.  Most Hedgers make their deposits over the side of a boat.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:40 | 3342065 unwashedmass
unwashedmass's picture

actually, i think JPM has done us all a great service in using our cash to suppress gold and silver, and keep the peasantry believing.......

long enough for anyone who is watching to invest in PMs at absolutely breathtaking prices. 

 

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:43 | 3342076 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

I am glad they have kept price suppressed. It has allowed me to greatly increase my stacks at a lower cost.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:03 | 3342186 Shizzmoney
Shizzmoney's picture

They have to keep it suppressed.....even a commoner knows when Silver+Gold go up = social unrest.

 

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:46 | 3342374 CaptainObvious
CaptainObvious's picture

They must keep it suppressed at all costs, or JPM will go down in flames when their machinations with paper silver come to light and they can't make good with physical silver.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:40 | 3342069 q99x2
q99x2's picture

That's no choice. I want my money back.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:42 | 3342074 OptionNinjaNYC
OptionNinjaNYC's picture

True Story:

CNBC Fuck-Wit To Lloyd Blankfein: So Lloyd, apart from stealing your clients' money and butchering Muppets, what else do you do in your free time?

Lloyd: Well, David, I sometimes put a tissue on my penis and pretend its a ghost.

 

http://wallstreetfool.com/

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:51 | 3342112 Gert_B_Frobe
Gert_B_Frobe's picture

Need to get him to play Ghostbusters and zap it with an exposed lamp cord.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:57 | 3342157 yrbmegr
yrbmegr's picture

Time to cross the streams.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:43 | 3342079 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

And if you hold unallocated precious metals in the LBMA and LPPM system (where 95% of trades are for unallocated metals) your 'investment' i.e the cash paid for the metal, is the property of the bullion bank and is also used to inflate other risk assets.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:43 | 3342086 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

"Would You Rather Have Your Deposits Confiscated, Or Used By JPMorgan's Prop Trading Desk To Buy Stocks?"

Which choice will allow me the longest illusion that my money is 'safe'?

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:45 | 3342091 PUD
PUD's picture

Stop feeding the beast then....stop trading, sell all stocks, withdraw all support, stop dealing with these banks, cut up your credit cards etc

Too many of you understand the problem but are addicted to the game you curse

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:08 | 3342208 resurger
resurger's picture

the algos and the federal reserve are always there...

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:14 | 3342211 MachoMan
MachoMan's picture

Why would I cut my cards when they pay me back 1-5% for every dollar spent and the retailers do not offer me a cash discount?  Now, when I purchase guns online, the price shown is a "cash discount"...  which is strictly obeyed.  Some gas stations are doing this also...  and obviously cash is king for personal services.

I would have presumed retailers would have gone to a cash discount system given margin compression, but then again, strategy is antiquated.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:51 | 3342398 CaptainObvious
CaptainObvious's picture

Didja learn nothing from Cyprus, man?  You have to keep money in the bank to pay the credit card bill, and you could end up losing that money to government confiscation.  Fuck saving 1-5% now, get tangible goods today and save 200-1000% later.  They can't confiscate what they can't find.  Buy with cash and buy locally. 

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 13:29 | 3343257 MachoMan
MachoMan's picture

You've stated nothing other than a spectacular case for going on a spending spree with a credit card...  why would I limit myself solely to cash?

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:46 | 3342093 fuu
fuu's picture

"Would You Rather Have Your Deposits Confiscated, Or Used By JPMorgan's Prop Trading Desk To Buy Stocks?"

I choose to shoot the bull and eat some steaks.

Fuck those horns.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:46 | 3342099 sudzee
sudzee's picture

PLAN C :

Drive DOW to 1mm,
S&P to 150m with free money.

Impose finacial tax of 30% for a gain of a couple quadrillion, pay down soverign debt then issue new currency.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:47 | 3342102 Gert_B_Frobe
Gert_B_Frobe's picture

After much thought and hand-wringing, I'm pulling my funds from the bank and forgoing the massive .25% interest rate along with giving back the Chinese toaster.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:50 | 3342118 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

 

 

Are you crazee?!?!  Don't be a fool!  Put the toaster on eBay.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:54 | 3342138 Gert_B_Frobe
Gert_B_Frobe's picture

Ehhh, already looked. The place is awash with Chinese toasters.

And yes, I am crazee ... applying for disability tomorrow to join the rest of the freeloaders. BWAAHAHAHHA

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:55 | 3342147 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

He will probably fetch more for the toaster than interest he would have recieved from his deposit.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:58 | 3342169 Lmo Mutton
Lmo Mutton's picture

Save the toaster!!

We will turn it into an electric chair.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:47 | 3342103 moneybots
moneybots's picture

I would rather have Jamie Dimon in prison.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:52 | 3342129 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

 

 

I would rather see Jamie Dimon go to prison, where some of the more heinous and infected inmates can have him.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:53 | 3342410 CaptainObvious
CaptainObvious's picture

Me too, but only if he's sharing a communal cell with Corzine the Vaporizer, Timmy the Tax Cheat, The Bernank, and fifteen of the meanest, biggest bucks in the joint.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:47 | 3342105 Henry Chinaski
Henry Chinaski's picture

In the end, any wealth that isn't destroyed will be confiscated.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:48 | 3342109 machineh
machineh's picture

So a corralito is now the first resort response to a financial crisis.

Who says Argentina never invented anything?

 

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:27 | 3342272 spine001
spine001's picture

My grandmother was in Argentina in the 1970s when hyperinflation first hit. She had all her savings in stamps in the a National Savings booklet that they used at the time. I remember telling her to spend her money to stop saving, but she was a hard working daughter of Spanish inmigrants who had been imprinted with the importance of saving for the future. She wanted to buy a car but was afraid, I remember clearly telling her that she'll buy a bycicle if she didn't buy it now. Sadly, she didn't and after a year all her savings didn't even buy a bycicle. She learned the hard way, from that day on, she never ever trusted the system, she always saved in what locals in Argentina have used as a substitute for Gold, US dollars. Fast forwarding to 2013 in Argentina, the government here wants to monetize, but they are facing the inheritance of the learned lessons by my grandmother since 1970. Nobody saves in pesos, they know they are not worth toilet paper, they only use them and avoid keeping them like the plague. They don't yet save in PM, they are not liquid enough here, they save in dollars still. But by just using the dollar to stop  the government from printing they are forcing their hand. The legal dollar is worth 5 pesos and the illegal one (YES they MADE it ILLIGAL to buy it) is worth more than 8 pesos.

Read about Argentina and you will have the future of the USA...

Until next time,

Engineer

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:48 | 3342389 YC2
YC2's picture

Don't forget the fountain pen!

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:53 | 3342137 The Invisible Foot
The Invisible Foot's picture

State-Capitalism baby!

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:54 | 3342145 Benjamin Glutton
Benjamin Glutton's picture

JPMugger Disclaimer....Depositing includes possible loss of your investment principle!!!

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:02 | 3342182 Hubbs
Hubbs's picture

.....if we decide we need to take it.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:01 | 3342161 The Heart
The Heart's picture

How to explain the bank holiday and coming currency devaluation in the USSA.:

"Officials are billing the Cypriot hit on savers as a “fiscal measure” rather than a bail-in, haircut or loss inflicted on depositors in order to wriggle around the EU(FDIC) deposit guarantee law."


Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:20 | 3342259 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Like one guy said: Don't give them any more ideas!

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:58 | 3342166 Hubbs
Hubbs's picture

At least the Cypriat government takes the money in plain sight (although on a weekend when people can not make a withdrawal). JPM sneaks away your money like a jackal in the night.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 09:59 | 3342168 Burticus
Burticus's picture

I don't think the Ruskie oligarchs will be amused by the EU/IMF robbing 10+% of their laundered money in Cypriot banks and will retaliate in the gold markets.

So, I picked answer "C" and converted some more FeRNs into another 2,000+ ounces of silver, held off shore outside the (central) banking system.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:02 | 3342184 Dan Conway
Dan Conway's picture

And don't forget the russians willingness to turn off the nat gas during the middle of a cold winter.  Do you think there is any to this announcement at the end of the winter?

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:00 | 3342177 Dan Conway
Dan Conway's picture

I have been holding my safety cash in some of the large banks based on the theory that holding safe cash didn't hurt too much and I didn't think the banks were going under any time soon as long as ben was the controls.  However, now that inflation in all of the items that are important to me seem to be increasing and this test run being conducted by the eurocrats is the signal to put my cash somewhere else.  I don't think giving more money to my broker to buy stocks is the solution even though the central bankers are pushing the sheeple that way. 

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:05 | 3342195 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Trick question..Results are same..
Banks still win, peons get urinated and defecated upon

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:07 | 3342203 fiftybagger
fiftybagger's picture

I'll give them 20 more minutes before they turn stocks green.  Nothing to see here, move along.

Silver For The People

The Bitcoin Channel

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:08 | 3342209 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture

 

 

Hurray, retail is finally coming into the stock market.  

 

They maybe kicking and screaming, but they're getting in whether they want to or not.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:10 | 3342219 spiral galaxy
spiral galaxy's picture

Wow! Run on banks!  Spike in interest rates! Euro Union in doubt!  Homebuilder confidence slides!!!  No problem!  Markets are almost green!!! And it only took a half hour to reverse a 100 point decline at the open!!!  Seriously, what a fixed piece of shit the stockmarket is!

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:10 | 3342221 Confundido
Confundido's picture

How much did the cartel have to sell at 10am, on negative housing data, to keep the price of gold below $1,610/oz??

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:11 | 3342225 Marley
Marley's picture

"would you rather have your savings confiscated.."

How silly.  Shirley you remember the $880 Billion bailout?  The Unregulated backroom gambling casino bailout?  Bailout the financial crooks then blame it on the poor people would wanted to buy a house bailout? At least Cyprus was honest about a confiscation.  We still have fuctards walking around claiming to know a better way of destroying our future.  

"These aren't the confiscations you're looking for".  "Buy Gold and make me rich"

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:14 | 3342237 Inthemix96
Inthemix96's picture

JPmorgan can fuck right off in my opinion, less than a 10% loss and they is kaput, gone, done for.

Anyone now who has any significant funds stored in this shit-hole deserves the loss.

If the shenanigans over in Cyprus isnt enough to convince folk to remove funds from wrecked and wrecking failures like the morgue, nothing will.

Come on boys, lets kick off a bank run.

REMOVE YOUR MONEY.  Fuck the morgue.  And all who sail on her.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:25 | 3342269 torak
torak's picture

Anyone with savings in JPM or any other TBTF is a moron and deserves the ass-shalacking they get -- lubed, spit, or dry.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:29 | 3342283 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

If people are actually still this stupid and have learned no lesson at all, then I say let them wake one morning with 50%+ losses and I won't feel the least bit sorry for them at all!

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 11:02 | 3342464 SKY85hawk
SKY85hawk's picture

Wouldn't it be better to reinstate Glass-Stegal?

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 11:19 | 3342595 ZIRPThis
ZIRPThis's picture

You can't fix a government intervention problem with more intervention

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:31 | 3342292 zdk45
zdk45's picture

Not 100% certain what will trigger the vomiting. Narrowed it down: The afternoon ramp to a +3 sp close, or CNBS Twitter sentiment-indicator updates...

 

"whatever we can do to monetize evey damn human movement or thought. Think dammit. Think!"

"uhh, sir, what about bowel movements, we could collect people's feces and analyze it, and wrap it into a complex derivative tracking structure and sell it back to the sheep muppets?  

"Yes! Jamie! Get on that!"

"On it!" 

-leaked cnbs jp correspondence

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:32 | 3342300 NEOSERF
NEOSERF's picture

Bet it is interesting in terms of the "pressure" being exerted by Russian oligarchs on the Cyprian government and legislators right now.  If they vote to take depositors money away, two things will happen, there will be some bloodshed and there will be immediate capital flight of a good chunk of the remaining 90% which will cause bank runs and bank holidays until the whole thing goes down.  What will be most interesting is the effect in the coming months on Greek, Spanish and Italian banks.  People in those countries have a window of opportunity to ease their fears.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:42 | 3342359 tsuki
tsuki's picture

Those of you with Unsafety Deposit Boxes, you're next. 

 

My Depression Era Aunts had the correct idea, a cigar box in the upstairs closet and a closed mouth. 

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 10:52 | 3342404 ZIRPThis
ZIRPThis's picture

Banks putting your money to work in a variety of different ways does not constitute some kind of 1%-er conspiracy.  The problem is not what the bank does with your money, it's that they get bailed out with fake Bernanke dollars when they buy fuck-stupid assets like Fannie Mae REMICs, eat the good parts, then shit the remains back onto your income statement.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 11:04 | 3342491 SKY85hawk
SKY85hawk's picture

Wouldn't it be better to reinstate Glass-Stegal?

 

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 11:23 | 3342623 ZIRPThis
ZIRPThis's picture

Government bailing out bad behavior is exactly what keeps both chugging along

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 11:09 | 3342511 wisefool
wisefool's picture

BloombergTV hosts are lighting up Dick Bove right now on the JP Morgan and the london whale. (segment started 15 minutes ago)

Dick keeps saying "they made investors money" and "they fired the bad actors, its a win win regarding london whale"

The hosts are doing a good job, but the real evil in the libor situation is how it destroys democracy. Some little podunk town lets a bond issue to get down payment for a 2.0% loan to put in a school or upgrade sanitaion infra. The bond issue passes, then the LIBOR rate gets fiddled by douchebags for fun,profit and stockholders. Then the munipality has to have another bond referendum or flat out lie to the voters. This is how you inject corruption in all levels of a civilization.

 

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 11:37 | 3342708 Floodmaster
Floodmaster's picture

Everything after the suppression of the Glass–Steagall Act is criminal.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 12:20 | 3342928 Shizzmoney
Shizzmoney's picture
John Stauber’s Stab at Progressive Movement

http://www.taylormarsh.com/blog/2013/03/john-staubers-stab-at-progressiv...

The self-labeled Progressive Movement that has arisen over the past decade is primarily one big propaganda campaign serving the political interests of the the Democratic Party’s richest one-percent who created it. The funders and owners of the Progressive Movement get richer and richer off Wall Street and the corporate system. But they happen to be Democrats, cultural and social liberals who can’t stomach Republican policies, and so after bruising electoral defeats a decade ago they decided to buy a movement, one just like the Republicans, a copy.

The Progressive Movement that exists today is their success story. The Democratic elite created a mirror image of the type of astroturf front groups and think tanks long ago invented, funded and promoted by the Reaganites and the Koch brothers. The liberal elite own the Progressive Movement. Organizing for Action, the “non-partisan” slush fund to train the new leaders of the Progressive Movement is just the latest big money ploy to consolidate their control and keep the feed flowing into the trough.

The professional Progressive Movement that we see reflected in the pages of The Nation magazine, in the online marketing and campaigning of MoveOn and in the speeches of Van Jones, is primarily a political public relations creation of America’s richest corporate elite, the so-called 1%, who happen to bleed Blue because they have some degree of social and environmental consciousness, and don’t bleed Red. But they are just as committed as the right to the overall corporate status quo, the maintenance of the American Empire, and the monopoly of the rich over the political process that serves their economic interests.

Mon, 03/18/2013 - 12:35 | 3343000 csmith
csmith's picture

We can do this quick (Cyprus), or we can do this slow (ZIRP). Either way, you're not gonna like it.

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