The Annotated Schaeuble Cyprus Post-Mortem
Confused by the litany of threats, palliatives, urgings, promises and outright lies just uttered by the German's finmin wheelchair maestro? Fear not for we are here to explain it all:
- SCHAEUBLE SAYS IT'S A "SERIOUS SITUATION" - Which as Juncker told us, means "you have to lie."
- SCHAEUBLE SAYS GERMANY REGRETS CYPRUS DECISION - Cyprus regrets the German regret
- SCHAEUBLE SAYS CYPRUS WILL GET NO MONEY IF THEY DONT ACCEPT OUR OFFERS - Unless Russia and China submit their own better "offers"
- SCHAEUBLE SAYS CREDITORS HAVE TO BE INVOLVED WHEN THERE IS AN INSOLVENCY - They usually are, and usually end up with nothing or just more than nothing
- SCHAEUBLE SAYS NO ONE EXCEPT CYPRUS IS TO BLAME FOR ITS CURRENT SITUATION - Likewise for its creditors
- SCHAEUBLE SAYS CYPRUS GOVT THINKS WITH ITS DECISION IT CAN ATTRACT LARGE INVESTORS TO CYPRUS IN FUTURE - Russia is happy that Germany thinks it is large
- SCHAEUBLE SAYS CYPRUS'S "BUSINESS MODEL" DOESN'T WORK ANY MORE, RATINGS AGENCY HAVE DOWNGRADED TO JUNK LEVEL - Italy and Spain's business models are therefore about to break next
- SCHAEUBLE SAYS 2 LARGE CYPRUS BANKS ARE ESSENTIALLY INSOLVENT WITHOUT HELP - All large banks are insolvent without help
- SCHAEUBLE SAYS HE THINKS CYPRUS MUST ACT QUICKLY, THERE ISN'T ENOUGH TIME TO WAIT UNTIL JUNE - And certainly not until September when the German elections are
- SCHAEUBLE SAYS EURO ZONE IS MUCH MORE STABLE THAN PREVIOUSLY - sell first bullet
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Baghdad Bob Schaeuble. Can't decide whether to make threats or downplay the situation. These assholes are hilarious.
Schadenfreude (German: a pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others.)
Cypriot based Russian naval base imminent!
For sure, British will make some space so that Russian friends can join their bases.
cyprioids arcade game (screen shot)
http://oi46.tinypic.com/2v923nk.jpg
hedgeless horseman or banzai maybe can re-post the image
He's almost as good as Obama.
Russia cant fund such a base. Russia is in the crapper economically and politically, has anyone actually been to Russia? To see the filth and the poverty? Why do you think they ran with the mob money to Cyprus? They have trust in the Russian banking system? Lol! China will do nothing without approval from the US. The banks will not open, depositors will see nothing. The mob gets screwed, so do all thosem"smart" business men that use Cy accounts.
You know...and I'm just spit ballin' here from the bottom of my cosmic bunny hole [which very recently when super nova], but I really don't think the story here is what, if any, resolution is reached in Cyprus. In fact, the story is already over. The story is how the ECB, through its little evil doin' Troika dudes, tried to confiscate bank deposits as a way of bailing out these bad banks. Further, the story is that, said bad banks in Cyprus tried to apologize to the people by offering them shares in insolvent banks in exchange for their cash. And lastly, the story is that the ECB targeted Russian mafia money in this whole affair.
Honestly, I do a little writing in my spare time, and enjoy that activity very much...and I'm put to shame by what is going on just now, as I could not have made this thing up, written it in any believable way. Had I tried, and published it on Seeking Alpha, folks would be going nuts with the junk button [man, I miss the junk button].
Everything that comes after all of this is going to be finger pointing and hopium snorting. The story, in terms of its essence, is already over. My opinion, anyway.
which is why it was always a non event to begin with. Another manufactured crisis.
It would have been more educational for the periphery peasants if markets had cratered for more than a day /sarc
Ah...no. You seem to have drawn an incorrect conclusion. It is anything but a non event. You have just seen central bank creditibility take a public hit like...like I cannot remember. Of course, with this cosmic bunny hole spinning like it is, I can hardly remember last Friday night when this story broke, so please excuse me on that count.
No...the inference is that the damage is done, the people have now seen, and if any of them have any sense, they already know what to do. The Troika dudes can do all that they like to walk this thing back...but it won't go back. Ask anyone on Wall Street how the effort to get Average American Joe to go back into the US stock market is going? The Federal Reserve Bank is $3.5 trillion into the momentum trade baby, and Ben still has the dice...but no one in this country has any faith in Wall Street...or its products. Hell...didn't BlackRock just today announce it is cutting folks loose...with its shares at screamingly stupid levels, blowing the trumpet of "Recovery!"
No...the story is over...but now come the effects of the story.
I'm glad someone else noticed that Black Rock incongruity.
http://finance.yahoo.com/news/blackrock-announces-300-job-cuts-170831948...
You got to love the business double speak here. And bullshit spin it in a positive light.
"This is the first time that the company announced job cuts that would enable high performing employees enjoy greater responsibility."
Bawahahahaha, I think the employees would have just a slightly different take.
Then you get this winner
Since the financial crisis, many banks and financial firms are downsizing workforce to improve efficiency and bring down costs. Among major banks, JPMorgan Chase & Co. (JPM) recently announced overall 19,000 job cuts by the end of 2014. Similarly, Bank of America Corp. (BAC) and Goldman Sachs Group Inc. (GS) announced job cuts to improve overall competence.
If it is a question of competence they might want to trim the ranks a little higher up. There is this thing called gravity and as we all know shit rolls down hill not up.
It is a non market moving event. That is all I meant.
There is a vid of the speaker of Parliament in Nicosia and he actually said one thing, "send cash". Cash is not coming, these banks are dead, they will not reopen, as they would have to provide €80 billion on the first day of business to fleeing depositors.
I dont care how many down arrows I get but lets get serious, drunk Russia will not rescue the money made by raping what was left of the Soviet Empire.
I think this is done. All those deposits are gone, forever, to money heaven as someone well put it.
I confess that I...I am not a white collar criminal, and so it is difficult for me to weigh in on whether or not anything will come of these banks in Cyprus. I can imagine there will be attempts, by various unknown entities, to "bail out" the situation. And should some effort move forward to do just that, from Russia or elsewhere, you can bet the ranch that the only people who would actually see anything coming back to them will be deeply criminal, dark and seedy, and potentially murderous sorts of folks. And to the average dude in Cyprus...probably should not begin holding your breath or anything.
Again, I don't think a bailout matters now in a global sense. Of course, I know it matters very much within the borders of Cyprus, and I don't mean to diminish the struggle ahead for those folks, to be clear.
The country will still need some form of a bank though they will most likely be different legal entities, they might occupy the same buildings with new signs out front. I can not imagine a country without banks in some form.
Problem is deposits can disappear into fiat nothings (obviously they already went out through tellers and ATMs), but somehow the fiat debts hang around like shit sticking to a blanket, and are especially attracted to public balance sheets for some reason.
The Russians are going to be exceptionally pissy and dangerous for a long time.
The EU is no different from the US. WHen the government forces interest rayes down to zero on peoples' savings accounts, they are basically stealing from citizens bank accounts to give to the bankers. Now old people have to work as bag boys and Walmart greeters to buy their food.
You will get no argument from me on your point about what the Fed is doing in the US...and that ain't even the half of it.
I told the doctor I have Schadenfreude fever; he says the only prescription is more fucking cowbell.
Mia just told me she agrees 100%
Tell that crazy bitch to lay off the heroin.
But she didn't know...
Hang on you lot are ignoring all the green shoots. That RT logo looks nice in green.
C'mon! It is called Schaeublefreude obviously.
... and Archduchess Ferdimerkel is severely afflicted by it.
SchaeubleFRAUD
Obviously
Edelweiss (German: a native flower picked off dead german soldiers or bankers in this case)
Always nice to see bankers fuck up.
Bankers take heed. The more you dumbasses box yourselves into a corner, the more people get wise to your game. Soon, you will have nowhere to run, and nowhere to hide.
You would think that with all the "dirty Russian money" that supposed flowed in and out of Cypress banks, the banks would have been more solvent just from fees.
Cypriot banks held a lot of Greek bonds which devalued and on top holders of Greek bonds had to take a haircut. And oh, many Russians and Cypriot politicians took their money out of the banks last week.
Meanwhile Hilsen-wrath says he sees a "green flag" from the fed tomorrow, "not enough positive data" yet... but enough to send the S&P to 1560? wtf??
I guess we could say Cyprus is not one of the PIIGS: http://www.stockingblue.com/3765/their-pants-are-on-fire/
Scheuble is an evil psycho . He utterly screwed Germany, and proud of it ....
Bingo, bingo. So confused he doesn't know if he's threatening or downplaying. Just let the whole system go, sooner or later it will anyway just kill it now.
There isn't enough time to wait till June?
June?
June!!!!!
Damn, I knew my May puts would expire worthless, just like March, Feb, Jan, etc.
This is a game, right?
Yes it is a game. It is a theatre. It is whatever they want it to be. This was all pre meditated, and everyone on here fell for it all over again.
You will know when the real crisis happens when Bob Pisani gets trampled by a bunch of traders running for their rooftop helicopters right before the emergency broadcast service kicks in. Until then it's all scripted.
Somehow one imagines that even with his body trampled flat, Bob's head (tilted against the wall like an errant football) would keep on talking as if nothing happened.
yes, its theatre, its a bad off broadway show fonz................and they are the actors, directors, producers, choreographers, ticket producers, stage help, marketing, etc....................."the show must go on"...........
and I take it so damn personally lol
I heard Bob has a wooden leg, making him eminently trample-able... hope he gets pissed on too, fuk'n whore that he is
he does. i have installed pictures of the entire cnbc staff in the urinals at my office. but i take a dump on liesman
Same game for about 800 years, yes.
Not sure what the score is.
Guy in wheelchair making threats,we have truly entered Bizarro Euroland...when he gets hung, at least his legs wont be twitching
It's the ghost of Frank Roosevelt, come back to torment us again.
'All zee geld ist belong to usssss.'
I can't wait for this to happen here.
Americans will accept it, as they've accepted their slavery for the last 100 years.
PS-Did anyone catch who the new cast is for Dancing With The Stars?
That I am aware, Americans don't save money. So most will shrug and say this is how you get money out of the rich.