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Cyprus Now Set To Vote Against Bailout, Ruling Party To Abstain Guaranteeing Failure To Ratify "Bail-In"

Tyler Durden's picture


It appears that Cyprus is now ready to escalate, following news now coming fast and furious, that the Parliament will go ahead and vote after all, but not in a good way as even the Cypriot ruling party, formerly the only party willing to vote Yes on the Bail-In, would abstain according to Dow Jones, which means there is no support at all in the Cypriot parliament for the deposit haircut proposal.

We can only pray that Bob Pisani explains what happens next because neither we, nor anyone else, has any idea what comes now.


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Tue, 03/19/2013 - 11:57 | 3347424 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Ludicrous speed!

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 11:58 | 3347431 aint no fortuna...
aint no fortunate son's picture

there goes the VIX...

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:02 | 3347450 Stackers
Stackers's picture

They've gone plaid !!!

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:07 | 3347490 fx
fx's picture

I know waht's next! Merkel and the EU will fold for the umpteenth time and shell out some additional billion EUR in soon-to-be worthless paper money. Then the banks open and a bank run ensues. Next thing you know, cyprus needs another bail-out - 2 times as large as the first one. EU demands haircuts by cyprus - Cyprus refuses and burns the German embassy - EU backs off ... you get the point.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:21 | 3347551 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture

Gee, Does It Look Like Banking System Is Corrupt And Fraudulent ???

Who Woulda Thunk It ???

Ben Chalom, Please Print Up A New Batch Of USD Fiats And Keep The Good Shit Going...

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:27 | 3347606 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture

And Germany ...

You Should Be Worrying More About Getting All Your GOLD Back From The NYC FED Underground Sinkhole...

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:15 | 3347553 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Bank runs...  Maybe it is all deliberate?

A take I have not seen yet.  Three guesses whose blog that is...

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:19 | 3347584 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Makes a lot of sense, especially the "cashless society" part.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 13:45 | 3347756 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

Well one thing's for certain and it gives me solace.

If we can only get past this Cyprus-Crisis then we will only have to deal with a U.S.-China-Russia-N.Korea-Europe-Japan-Africa-Venezuela-Greece-Spain-Italy and Portugal crisis.

So things are looking up after this ordeal.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 14:18 | 3348491 akak
akak's picture

You're forgetting about the time-traveling US 'american' citizenism-Easter Island crisis.

It's the mattering thing.  The crustiest bit of the nub of it.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 18:56 | 3350094 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

US citizenism 'american' duplicity exhibited.

Would be more accurate to tell US 'american' citizens should brush up your walrasian economics to understand you definitively dont need an increase in lutefisk to face a durian consumption issue.

Signed: AnAnonymous

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 19:00 | 3350101 akak
akak's picture

I've been waiting for our George Dishwashington citizenism citizen to pop in and explain to us how the banking crisis in Cyprus, and its EU-British-Russian-Turkish-Greek complications, is all just another sordid manifestation of blobbing-up US 'american' citizenism.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 19:09 | 3350136 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

George Dishwashington citizenism citizen probably still fishing for river pigs. There's no bag limit when they're in season.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 04:41 | 3351288 Lets Buy The Dip
Lets Buy The Dip's picture

yes amen to that! hey!

cypress bank run - is there a cypress bank run coming

I think we can all get ready for something big. 


Well, just for a minute picture this. Cypress is small, and when the government are plannning something BIG, and I mean BIG, they always test small scale and need the test lab rats, and I think the people in cypress are exactly that. 

Call me wrong if you want, but do not be surprised when this does happen in the US, because it will. Do not get angry at ben bernanke, he is just doing what he is told. Those evil at the top and good old benny boy know exactly what they are doing, that is for sure. 

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:21 | 3347594 Slartebartfast
Slartebartfast's picture

Missing key data.  Current bailout estimates are propaganda lies.  EU cannot bail out Cypress banks because they hold more than 100x greater deposits than admitted (Russian deposits).  This is genuine rock and a hard place time.....

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:38 | 3347752 Things that go bump
Things that go bump's picture


Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:52 | 3347856 Element
Element's picture

He's most probably referring to the KingWorld News report of the Jim Sinclair interview today that said "orders of magnetudes" (as in more than one) higher amounts than just 130 billion.

No number were given to support that though.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:23 | 3347612 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

i said it from the beginning....when they get done, losing 10% will look like such a deal...

cause as of now....the locks on the doors have been changed and the banks are going to re-open as starbucks...

i definetly expect  cyp-riots to be the start of a new "arab spring"....

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:57 | 3347892 F22
F22's picture

+1 for cyp-riots

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:28 | 3347646 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Mutti's nien turns to whine?

I'll buy that.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 13:21 | 3348098 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

Thats exactly what will happen.  You see they keep saying that Cyprus is a nothing and whatever happens there won't effect the EU.  But if that is the case then why are they so concerened.  It's because if their banks fail then those bonds and derivatives on those bonds will have failed and the insurance on those bonds and derivatives will have to pay.  And since like all the other banks in the EU and the US who have been leveraged, that 4 to 8 billion dollars could easily be 100 billion or more and that would have to be paid in full by insurance.  And not to mention that those bonds and derivatives are in default which starts a chain reaction of other banks and countries who have exposure to the country.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:07 | 3347494 THX 1178
THX 1178's picture

I'm white in the face. Soon everyone'll be seeing red.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:43 | 3347791 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

Shit.   Looks like even New Zealanders now are abandoning their sheep for richer pastures.   I bet their goats are breathing a sigh of relief.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 13:42 | 3348272 hampsterwheel
hampsterwheel's picture

...... when they sat back and took an objective look at the fact that they were basically ripping off X-KGB officers - that just didn't seem like a prudent move - after all food tasters and remote car starters are expensive -


Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:00 | 3347433 The Juggernaut
The Juggernaut's picture

I sincerely hope the EU collapses today.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:02 | 3347453 gjp
gjp's picture

That would only please me if it is very quickly followed by the demise of the US dollar and the insanely abused 'exorbitant privilige'.

The Europeans had one thing right, that the anglo-US financial system was basically criminal and extortionary.  Their mistake was to try to get in on the action.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:59 | 3347482 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

as long as you're sincere

"the Parliament will go ahead and vote after all, but not in a good way"

that's a theme will be hearing more and more

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:11 | 3347518 Randall Cabot
Randall Cabot's picture

March 19, 2013, 12:05 p.m. EDT

Investors shouldn't fear Cyprus or the Fed

Investors are making excuses to take some profits from the stock market's recent highs, says David Straus of Johnston Lemon Asset Management. One is Cyprus, the other, the Federal Reserve.


Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:10 | 3347521 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

ZH is providing a great service to its readers. You can't find this level of coverage anywhere else. In ye olden days, news like this would spread over the course of weeks or even months. We're watching it all happen in real-time.

Thanks to the Tylers for doing what the rest of the castrated media are too afraid to do.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:19 | 3347582 BadKiTTy
BadKiTTy's picture

Here here!!! 


This is my go-to place - nothing comes close.  



Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:19 | 3347583 BadKiTTy
BadKiTTy's picture

Here here!!! 


This is my go-to place - nothing comes close.  



Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:19 | 3347585 BadKiTTy
BadKiTTy's picture

Here here!!! 


This is my go-to place - nothing comes close.  



Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:27 | 3347637 justinius1969
justinius1969's picture

HERE... HERE.... Lets take all the ZH boys and Gals down the pub and have one mighty piss up..

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:52 | 3347819 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

My achy-breaky heart goes out to Cyprus.    As for their Cypriot-Idiot parliament have you thought about offering your services at no cost to the Zimbabwe government?   I mean it's better than them paying salaries for their existing one.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:57 | 3347886 Jugdish
Jugdish's picture

 Still recovering from St. Patrick's day. Irish Car bombs never again.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 13:29 | 3348181 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

Hear, hear!  Here, here.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 13:40 | 3348257 void_ptr
void_ptr's picture

Hear hear!

PS short for Hear him, hear him!

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 17:19 | 3349558 misitu
misitu's picture

Would just like to repeat that, hearty thanks to ZH for this coverage. Other sources are a day or three behind. Well done and much appreciated: to the Tylers and your Contributors.

Just my S/.0.20

Sunny here, and g o l d in the hills just behind ...

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:13 | 3347540 machineh
machineh's picture

Wouldn't it be ironic -- and poetic -- if one of the EZ's pipsqueak members bought the whole house of cards crashing down?

A monarch butterfly flaps its wings in Limassol, and the ECB crumbles to the ground in Frankfurt.


Tue, 03/19/2013 - 13:30 | 3348190 asteroids
asteroids's picture

Cyprus is having their "Iceland" moment. Good for them!

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 11:57 | 3347426 Awakened Sheeple
Awakened Sheeple's picture

Bullish for bank runs

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:03 | 3347462 peter4805
peter4805's picture

Bullish mattresses.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:07 | 3347487 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

bullish for bull runs and bullshit

bearish for china shops

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:08 | 3347498 kaa1016
kaa1016's picture

It's funny listening to all of those long only types on CNBS try to convince people that this is no big deal and why you should keep buying. Come on Josh Brown, the next move higher. I hope you're talking about the VIX. Fucking retards. BTW, last day of trading for March VIX calls for those interested... 

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 11:58 | 3347429 OptionNinjaNYC
OptionNinjaNYC's picture

You know what they say back in Germany:

When a Goat Fucks a Monkey, the Monkey screams Meow !!!

Unleash the BEARS....

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:09 | 3347509 pods
pods's picture

Die Kacke ist am dampfen.


Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:39 | 3347762 farmerjohn2112
farmerjohn2112's picture


Tue, 03/19/2013 - 16:13 | 3349262 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

and fitting German metaphor.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 11:58 | 3347436 Truther
Truther's picture




Tue, 03/19/2013 - 11:58 | 3347437 Cdad
Cdad's picture

"The important thing is unclear whether or not the seething ex KGB Russian oligarchs, currently on inbound flights to Cyprus, are armed or not, or whether they intend to obeserve bank holiday hours."  B Pisani  

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:04 | 3347470 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Like I commented yesterday, mafias do not let their ill booten gotty get confiscated without someone paying the price.  Plan B, save the small guy and take more from the mafia wasn't going to go well.

Politicians choice: get stomped to death by the masses cause you can't drone them all or get blown up when you hop in your car in the morning.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:07 | 3347486 Key-Rick
Key-Rick's picture

+1 for the esoteric M*A*S*H reference.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 13:06 | 3347979 new game
new game's picture

boris has arrived and getting shit straightened out.

the prez fully understands these overlooked concerns.

the fuckin wessel scurries to his next meeting.

sucks to be broke...




Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:05 | 3347475 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Perhaps the mobsters can be pacified with Spiderman towels.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:41 | 3347782 AngryRed
AngryRed's picture

Best comment yet Cdad.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 11:58 | 3347438 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

Pissani just wets himself

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 11:59 | 3347441 Racer
Racer's picture


Cypriots going to do an Iceland? Go for IT!

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:12 | 3347534 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

we all need to put the big bankers on ice

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:17 | 3347568 Piranhanoia
Piranhanoia's picture

Why waste ice?

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:56 | 3347881 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

I thought we'd cryogenically freeze some in case (actually when) we forget again and let them run amuck, then we'd thaw one out, remind ourselves and stop.  

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:00 | 3347442 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

We shall see just how far the EU will go to protect the Euro now. If it escalates to military intervention we may just be seeing this centuries Archduke Ferdinand moment here.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:09 | 3347508 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

Good thinh the TSA bought all the ammo..   Oh wait..

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:23 | 3347614 pods
pods's picture

.338 >.223.


Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:32 | 3347688 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Good thing many of us can modify the uppers and lowers to run either round.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 16:18 | 3349287 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

308 sides of the Force I like.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 13:44 | 3348270 20-20 Hindsight
20-20 Hindsight's picture


The "Archduke" moment is indeed the first thing that came to mind when this story broke on ZH Saturday, March 16th, i.e. way before all the MSM whores finally caught up yesterday.  

IMF, ECB, Fed, bullshit Troika... Frau Merkel... you bunch of fuck-ups... this time you crossed the line!  Let the games begin, please.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:01 | 3347446 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

But, but, but, something bad will happen if we don't take all of the depositors money.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:03 | 3347447 nonclaim
nonclaim's picture

Technocrats have run out of knobs to turn and buttons to push... and a spring has just popped out.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:06 | 3347481 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Not yet.  Just that the buttons and knobs left are ones they don't want to touch.


That phrase hangs on my wall as a reminder.  Of what, I have no idea, but it's a reminder.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:12 | 3347530 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture


Not yet.  Just that the buttons and knobs left are ones they don't want to touch.

They're the buttons and knobs sealed with a label stating that breaking the seal voids all warranties.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 14:23 | 3348519 akak
akak's picture


Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:38 | 3347703 dracos_ghost
dracos_ghost's picture

And it's these Little Lord Fauntleroy's that are the cream of the intellectual crop of the ruling class?!

Don't ya know, you never go full retard. Just ask Sean Penn.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 14:05 | 3348411 Diogenes
Diogenes's picture

"Technocrats have run out of knobs to turn and buttons to push... and a spring has just popped out."


You mean the rod is sticking out of the block on the Fiat.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:01 | 3347449 DrDinkus
DrDinkus's picture

did ZH website just go down due to traffic? the sheep are seeing the light

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:04 | 3347460 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Yes, at least for me. There's nowhere else to hear about this shit! Where's the rest of the fucking media???

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:09 | 3347506 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

in the backroom saying yes sir

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:11 | 3347524 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

A minimum of 2 hours behind.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:30 | 3347667 little buddy bu...
little buddy buys the dips's picture

what media? there ain't much else. this is about it, isn't it?


i mean, unless you're wanting the latest on lindsay lohan or the kardashians. you mean that media? yahoo has a sneak peak at the next hobbit movie and all the latest on lil wayne.


while not paying any attention to that media, i found some fool on craig's list selling silver eagles for $31. 

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:14 | 3347546 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

I suspected worse...

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:24 | 3347618 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Just in case...

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:20 | 3348965 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture


Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:02 | 3347454 Jim B
Jim B's picture

Good!  If the banks need to be put into bankruptcy... so be it.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:04 | 3347468 Yes We Can. But...
Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

yeah, the world needs to put the bank back in bankruptcy....

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:03 | 3347455 DavidC
DavidC's picture

Go Cyprus!


Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:04 | 3347466 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Damn that Cyprus .... Obama had this economy all fixed and now this. Time to send in a few drones and help the politicians better understand which way they will be voting.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:20 | 3347586 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

if we would just keep voting each alternative party in every time things fuck up more, I'm sure that would fix it

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:47 | 3347814 Things that go bump
Things that go bump's picture

There are no Republicans or Democrats; only Zool. The politician you vote for is only the face worn by those unelected figures who actually make the decisions.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 16:29 | 3349332 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

But don't WE have a fine bunch of... politicians in the Land of the Free and home of...? Not!!!

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:04 | 3347467 SilverDoctors
SilverDoctors's picture

Meanwhile, depositor haircut bail-ins spreads to New Zealand!

Gov't reportedly pursuing depositor haircuts for any future bank failures!

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:15 | 3347558 akarc
akarc's picture

The National Government are pushing a Cyprus-style solution to bank failure in New Zealand which will see small depositors lose some of their savings to fund big bank bailouts, the Green Party said today.

"Open Bank Resolution (OBR) is Finance Minister Bill English’s favoured option dealing with a major bank failure. If a bank fails under OBR, all depositors will have their savings reduced overnight to fund the bank’s bail out.

“Bill English is proposing a Cyprus-style solution for managing bank failure here in New Zealand – a solution that will see small depositors lose some of their savings to fund big bank bailouts,” said Green Party Co-leader Dr Russel Norman"

From the above link

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:15 | 3347469 machineh
machineh's picture

Cyprus knows exactly what to do:


1. Redenominate bank liabilities into Cypriot pounds.

2. DEFAULT on external debt, including that owed to ECB. Later, offer them 30 cents on the euro ... converted to Cypriot pounds at the prevailing exchange rate.

3. Boom its ass off for the next ten years, while the PIIGS remain in depression ... unless they follow the Cypriot example.


Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:25 | 3347624 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

Here's to hoping they do it! Guarantee depositors but screw EU debt holders and foreign banks!

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:04 | 3347472 Al Huxley
Al Huxley's picture

So they vote against the 'bail in' and the banks collapse.  Sorry depositors, you're all fucked, no matter how this goes.  Bail in, you lose 3 - 10+% immediately, and then unless you're one of the lucky 'first in liners' whenever the banks re-open, you lose the rest as the flaws of fractional reserve banking are exposed and the banks fail in a bank-run.  Or alternatively, the banks all fail now because there is no 'bail-in' and never re-open, and you just lose 100% immediately.  No win here.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:08 | 3347497 ejmoosa
ejmoosa's picture

This is what happens when you keep kicking the can down the road.  You WILL run out of road.

Anyone in DC paying attention?

Didn't think so.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 13:07 | 3347985 blu
blu's picture

"Anyone in DC paying attention?"

You bet they are.

This is news they were not able to control. People in the US won't know what it means, but they'll watch the Cypriots take it in the ass and suddenly realize that your money in a bank is not your money anymore, but the bank's money.

If as a result Americans pull out an average $5,000 per household (114,000,000 households according to the last census) the outflow comes to $570B

Oh yeah -- they are paying attention.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 13:22 | 3348110 new game
new game's picture

just thinking the same

i think we know what to do.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:06 | 3347478 ZeroPoint
ZeroPoint's picture

They have created a Kobayashi Maru. The only way to stop a bank run is abandon the levy. If they abandon the levy, the banks collapse and depostors could lose everything, which will sieze up the credit markets and create more bank runs.





Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:12 | 3347528 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

Live long and prosper but get your cash out first!

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:35 | 3347723 terryfuckwit
terryfuckwit's picture

This is great craic altogether....... A choice between bank runs bank runs or bank runs.......can anyone suggest an alternative to money in the bank lol

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:06 | 3347479 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Doesn't matter what happens, Bob Piss-ant-i will say it's bullish for equities.

Politicians and banks stealing depositor's money; "Nothing to see hear, buy stawks!".

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:06 | 3347480 Mediocritas
Mediocritas's picture

I predict that there will be a meeting in Brussels about the crisis and that at this meeting they will agree to have more meetings about the crisis and that this process will recurse until there is a stack overflow and everyone forgets what the crisis even was. That's Europe!

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:55 | 3347872 Element
Element's picture

<nods> fluoride in the crumpets ;-)

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:06 | 3347484 aka Gil
aka Gil's picture

Are we seeing some short covering in the paper gold market yet?

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:06 | 3347485 Racer
Racer's picture

PPT to ChairSatan

I cannae hold her any longer Cap'n

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:07 | 3347488 Hughing
Hughing's picture

Bullish for Cyrpus rentals

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:07 | 3347489 squid virtuous
squid virtuous's picture

Send Pisani to Cyprus in one of his Armani suits... for some chats with the folks

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:09 | 3347504 yogibear
yogibear's picture

CNBS's Pis-on-me is just another Wall Street mouth piece. Feed him to the sharks.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:20 | 3347592 Alex Kintner
Alex Kintner's picture

Please do.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:18 | 3347579 Schmuck Raker
Schmuck Raker's picture

Don't forget the blindfold.

And last cig.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:07 | 3347491 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

"Et tu, Brute"

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:07 | 3347492 yogibear
yogibear's picture

The whole world is watch and waiting to see if Cyprus shows the technocrats, bankster leeches and  Troika the door.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:08 | 3347496 NoTTD
NoTTD's picture

It's tight sphincter time.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 13:15 | 3347962 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

dollar diarrhea

constitutional constipation

quite a condition

for this once "great" nation

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:08 | 3347499 tecno242
tecno242's picture

Here's what happens now...

The Cypriot leaders realize that the EU is trying to confiscate their hard earned cash.  They therefore won't allow any solution to the problem.

Let the derivitive explosions begin, as for the first time, a banking system is allowed to implode on the bond holders.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:10 | 3347513 magpie
magpie's picture

"We will take steps to study the proposal" lol

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:08 | 3347500 monopoly
monopoly's picture

All is well. Please, continue enjoying your dinner and the music. That sound you heard, it was just a very small iceberg. Nothing to be concerned about. We are here to help you enjoy the festivities. 

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:08 | 3347502 BlueCheeseBandit
BlueCheeseBandit's picture

The governments are proving impotent! We can do whatever we want! I'm going to spank a midget covered in salad dressing!

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:09 | 3347503 Its_the_economy...
Its_the_economy_stupid's picture

I think i read this morning the DB was exiting its advising roles on the committees tat set inter-bank lending rates for the Euro and the Aussie Dollar. i can't remember the link.

Wonder why? Is this some footwork for future positioning of Germany in the EMU?

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:09 | 3347507 Charles Nelson ...
Charles Nelson Reilly's picture

"I'm just gonna go find a cash machine" ~ The Dude

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:09 | 3347511 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

It is all fun and games until the EU loses and Island

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:15 | 3347515 thismarketisrigged
thismarketisrigged's picture

did we really need this news today?


its so not fair to bernanke, he had a speech ready for tomm, and now with this news he has to rewrite his speech completely to try and keep the markets a float.


i do love seeing the reds on my screen, im hoping this escelates so bad that all the bankers lose there jobs and go to prison . fuck u wall st, die


also, how is that record high for the s&p doing wall st? o so close, but not close enough. ha ha, fuck u bankers

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:24 | 3347620 HurricaneSeason
HurricaneSeason's picture

Wall Street will make bets on the Dow and the country to crash while sending more jobs out of the country, if they feel like it.  They don't need pension plans to do well to make money. They were making bets on the subprime loans to fail as they were selling the crappy mortgage backed securities.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 13:34 | 3348216 eclectic syncretist
eclectic syncretist's picture

The SLV jan 2014 put/call ratio went from 0.5 to 0.35 in the first two weeks of this month, with other comparable events that now make sense in light of these developments.  Obviously, someone knew or at least had a really good hunch that something like this was going to happen.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:10 | 3347517 HurricaneSeason
HurricaneSeason's picture

Commies.  It was going to go for the good of housing values and bank capitalization. These are the job creators.  Negative Nominal Interest Rates (NNIR) are the only thing that will turn the world economy around and reduce government debt.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:10 | 3347520 squid virtuous
squid virtuous's picture

What time does our fearless leader Ben Shalom speak tomorrow? or is it just a release of more BS statements from the Fed?

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:11 | 3347523 Oligarch
Oligarch's picture

Euro's anyone?

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 18:13 | 3349866 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Of course. Rates? ;-)

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:11 | 3347525 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Maybe Parliment got some new telephones REDex'd this afternoon from some Comrades and had heard some voice mails, or RED some ineresting texts, or links to the Godfather movie series...just sayn

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:11 | 3347526 Monedas
Monedas's picture

Euro-Crisis Groundhog Day .... get some popcorn and get comfortable !

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:12 | 3347532 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture




Place your vote.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:13 | 3347539 glenlloyd
glenlloyd's picture

wait....where's MDB's idiotic commentary?

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:46 | 3347813 SmallerGovNow2
SmallerGovNow2's picture

Please don't awaken the trolls...

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 13:22 | 3348103 blu
blu's picture

Here let me try:

Americans watching the drama in Cyprus can better appreciate how well our own banking system works. No depositor has ever lost a single dime by depositing their money in a US bank, and never will. America has the safest and best-regulated banking institutions in the world, and money from Europe is pouring into US banks even as their own banks require endless bailouts. I can never understand all the whining I hear about US banks and the financial sector being unregulated and underhanded. Our financial centers are shining examples of regulated growth with safeguards! America being the heart and soul of capitalism, its citizens can go to bed at night secure in the knowledge that their retirements, savings, investments and college trusts are in good hands.

How'd I do?

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:13 | 3347541 Jack Burton
Jack Burton's picture

Maybe they will now accept the Russian offer. Gasprom money in exchange for drilling rights in Cyprus waters. It is still on the table I believe.

The EU bankers are pissing themselves just about now. If they eject Cyprus from the EU, then the flood gate is open. Also, with the Russian deal hanging out there, a kicked out Cyprus just might go for it.

That would leave the EU and the US/NATO axis only one choice. War on Russia! Trouble is that Vlad is hip to how the EU/NATO operates, and has vowed to detonate nuclear weapons over any foreign [read NATO] force to cross onto Russian soveriegn territory. Vald may be less than a good guy, but when he tells NATO to go fuck themselves, it does brighten my day!

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:16 | 3347563 Spacemoose
Spacemoose's picture

is it a candle because we call it a candle or is it a candle because it burns? you ARE jack burton!


Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:20 | 3347590 machineh
machineh's picture

Jack speaks of a larger geopolitical dimension that few have grokked.

NATO (meaning the U.S.) is trying to take over British bases on Cyprus. Russia is dead set against it.

As Saddam Hussein used to say, 'Everything is possible now, my brothers!'

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:55 | 3347868 akak
akak's picture

Britain, the has-been bankrupt rump of a former empire, still has overseas military bases?  I would never have guessed it.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 13:03 | 3347943 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

sure it has, and some of them are only temporarily leased to the US

specifically that base in Cyprus was handy to have when the UK and France wanted to trash Egypt and take back the Suez Canal, in the Fifties

Uncle Sam called them back after they were already landing with stern words and lots of threats and since then we live in the Pax Americana

also called the Great Dollar Bazaar, or The Greatest Commercial Empire Ever, or the Greenback Hegemony

a pity that the empire has megabankster-cancer

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 13:25 | 3348140 akak
akak's picture

Yeah, but what the HELL are the British still doing in Cyprus?  Who, or what, are they still defending?  It's not like they have even a sliver of their former empire left, unless one wants to talk about crazily isolated specks of land like St. Helena and Pitcairn Island.  I mean, just who do they think they are with their laughable imperial pretensions, the USA?

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 13:33 | 3348191 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

akak, imperialism is not a habit that you get rid of lightly. F & UK also have both nuclear weapons, and submarines, and so on. trust me, the moment Uncle Sam spends less than 50% of the world's military expenses both "former" colonialists will find lots of reasons why the world needs them

hey, who do you think still does the diplomatic legwork for the US? who talks with the sheiks? PM Cameron. who talks with half Africa? Hollande. and so on. In fact, some say that your State Department is an utter waste of money, or only good as a front for the secret services

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 13:11 | 3348007 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

Jack speaks the truth

Western Europe has little energy, lots of consumption,

and now, a financial house of cards laid out for all to see


Tue, 03/19/2013 - 13:17 | 3348073 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

eh, we still produce the "things" that Russians and Chinese want. you know, the "things"? that stuff that leads to a positive trade balance? of course I'm talking about the eurozone, then the UK...

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:06 | 3348845 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

I thought Russia and China produce their own prostitutes?   

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 18:57 | 3349979 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Hate to brake it to your blissful life, but if candy-ass "Average Americans" had to pay $8-9 per gallon for gas, there'd be a collapse. Have you ever been to Europe, for any meaningful length of time?

Just had some beers with a CWL toting Americanized German and American engineer at the airport. Both are headed to Europe. The American guy tells me that few things scare him as much as "a person who bitches & moans about a place they've never been to, much less spent any time there. Because they are dogmatic and pre-programmed. Might as well debate Jehovah's Witnesses." I hoisted my glass in approval.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:35 | 3347722 Element
Element's picture

The EU is one EMP pop away from a re-run of the bronze age.

They seem to keep forgetting that.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 13:10 | 3347989 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

the european continent is one EMP pop away from the 19th Century, you mean - don't forget that our cities functioned then, and were not that much smaller than now. it's newer parts of the world that would go further back with one EMP pop. and don't get me started on agriculture

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:41 | 3347778 SmallerGovNow2
SmallerGovNow2's picture

VERY interesting thesis Jack...

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 13:12 | 3348022 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

bloodthirsty. and who the fuck delivers our oil and natgas if "we" go to war with Russia? no interest, thanks. go and play warriors and soldiers somewhere else, this continent is already chockerblock full with historic battlesites

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 12:50 | 3347838 terryfuckwit
terryfuckwit's picture

I have spoken at great lengths to old friends in mi6 and this is operation britbrics uk have historically very good relations with Cypriots and are working with the brics to pull the plug on the financial ponzi.. Eu politicians are merely pawns ... Obama knows what is happening but is keeping stum for his financial overlords who will soon be arrested....

And then I woke up ......

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