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French Minister Tasked With Fighting Tax Fraud Resigns For Having A Secret Swiss Account

Tyler Durden's picture


While everyone awaits in stunned silence to see what Citadel, GETCO and of course the NY Fed will do with stocks in the aftermath of the shocking Cypriot decision, which nobody has any idea how to respond to because as Europe made it very clear ahead of the vote, there is no "Plan B", here is some comic interlude. The name Jerome Cahuzac should be familiar to our readers: he is the French Budget minister who had been tasked with battling tax fraud. Well, technically it is not is but was: moments ago Monsieur Cahuzac resigned, for the same reason he had been investigated several months ago. Namely, having an "undisclosed" Swiss bank account. Minister in charge of battling tax fraud... resigns for having a secret Swiss account. We'll let that sink in for a bit before we go back to that other farce in the eastern Mediterranean.


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Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:04 | 3348832 fightthepower
fightthepower's picture

Fuck you Bernanke!

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:07 | 3348861 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

No no... that's Jerome Cahuzac. Although he does the same finger thing as Bernanke...

I wonder how his undercover investigations of Swiss bank accounts are going...

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:12 | 3348893 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Much like a Masonic handshake, Monsieur Cahuzac demonstrates the symbolic gesture that international bankobureaucrats use in order to identify each other. It translates roughly as:

"Fuck you, I'm a rich, corrupt asshole, and that's why I grin like an idiot."

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:20 | 3348964 Manthong
Manthong's picture

“what  (they).. will do with stocks in the aftermath”

Looks like it’s pedal to the metal on an bullish inverse head and shoulders.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 16:37 | 3349368 whotookmyalias
whotookmyalias's picture

I meant no secret bank accounts for you, not for me.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:13 | 3348910 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Well, no better or worse than having a tax cheat as a Treasury Secretary.


Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:18 | 3348946 Tom Servo
Tom Servo's picture

3 PM Ramp job in progress!

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:31 | 3348997 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

If the equity markets in the U.S. crash, it's light out-night night. They will expend every last round of ammo to prop this bitch up, at least trying to keep it from caving in.

Ben "Modern Money Mechanics Economic Foundation" Bernanke holds the fate of the current Pyramid Scheme in his pimp hand.

I've been claiming, with not a single refutation from any source, that the lone, symbolic force that is propping up whatever consumption is taking place (even if the majority of it is in the form of taking on more debt, or "re-leveraging") is Ben S. Bernanke's magical "Virtuous Circle," where the pump is quite selectively exhilarating & seemingly for free (money fer nuthin', chicks for free), but the hangover will prove it was anything but free, will be a real killer, and absolutely pound the majority (whether they temporarily felt wealthier from any transitory "stock portfolio ownership" balance sheet ramp or not).

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:18 | 3348920 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



Sounds like another reason to go through Mrs. Sarkozy's underwear drawer!

Any volunteers?

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:20 | 3348966 Tom Servo
Tom Servo's picture

Plz to b not doing this, as some people look at ZH at work....

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:29 | 3349032 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

This place is like a bar and a locker room and a trading pit rolled into one. What do you expect?

I work from home. Plz to b posting more titty pics, HH.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:55 | 3349187 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

I wouldn't kick her out of bed, unless she wanted to do it on the floor;)

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 16:34 | 3349353 whotookmyalias
whotookmyalias's picture

The boss just walked by and wanted to know if I accidently thumped my knee underneath my desk.  Yes I did boss and it sure hurts.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:30 | 3349039 Sequitur
Sequitur's picture

Fuck "work," no one cares. Commence photobomb run.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 16:15 | 3349271 Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

I also work from home, if you can call reading ZH while watching the markets react to this shit 'working' - so bravo the pix. (Dow up almost 4 points at the moment! We Are Saved!)

Gawd, Friday night humor has arrived early this week. What a day for this news to come out as Cyprus implodes.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 16:42 | 3349396 Ljoot
Ljoot's picture

Quit your job.


Tue, 03/19/2013 - 17:03 | 3349502 thisandthat
thisandthat's picture

If you can read ZH at work, you should be fine with nekkid pics, too - the shocking content is in the text...

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:21 | 3348975 Skin666
Skin666's picture

I'd give this cookie an hour before we were doing the no pants dance.

Time to musk up...

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:21 | 3348976 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

I'll take 2...
but with 2 gallons of silicone...
and a gillete rasor...

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:30 | 3349040 SubjectivObject
SubjectivObject's picture

Fab as is.


Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:37 | 3349094 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

any ride can be tuned.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:49 | 3349157 redpill
redpill's picture

I think I have an emerging market!

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:28 | 3349027 Pairadimes
Pairadimes's picture

Please add one brazilian.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:57 | 3349197 falak pema
falak pema's picture

Cahuzac had less luck with his wife; they had an ugly divorce and her lawyer apparently was involved in getting the incriminating telephone conversation that was taped to the media who then published it.

Hell hath no fury like...and she took her time to extract her revenge!

Now coming back to Carla she is more poetic and that pic shows it! 

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:07 | 3348862 localsavage
localsavage's picture

Pretty much a go to line these days.  On topic though....obvious the Swiss can't keep secrets anymore.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:12 | 3348902 max2205
max2205's picture

Flash...PPT buys market on Cyprus announcement...duh

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:08 | 3348868 DJ Happy Ending
DJ Happy Ending's picture

Yet another hypocritical, sociopathic politician.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:16 | 3348934 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Rich socialist.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:14 | 3348927 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Status quo.

They make the rules.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 22:13 | 3350792 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

The ball is rolling and it's starting to avalanche the mountain.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:06 | 3348839 Tinky
Tinky's picture

Damn those appearances of conflicts of interest.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:10 | 3348884 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Great.  He can go into business with Timmy and Simon Black running a tax advantaged investment firm.

Forward Soviet.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:05 | 3348841 Jam Akin
Jam Akin's picture

Do as I say not as I do.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:13 | 3348843 Joebloinvestor
Joebloinvestor's picture

The French politicians are concerned with the French after they take care of themselves.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:06 | 3348846 j0nx
j0nx's picture

I swear these mofos are the scourge of the planet. Everywhere I look corruption. Everything is a lie and everything is corrupt. The devil is running amuck.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:06 | 3348847 Belrev
Belrev's picture

The Cyprus central bank chief name is Panicos Demetriades. All you needed to know.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:13 | 3348915 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

translation: Dimitri Panick

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:07 | 3348848 DJ Happy Ending
DJ Happy Ending's picture
Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:08 | 3348849 swissaustrian
swissaustrian's picture

Socialism for the poor, facism for the rich!

His brother is quite an interesting fellow, too:

"Il est le frère d'Antoine Cahuzac, directeur général d'EDF Énergies nouvelles29 et ancien président du directoire d'HSBC Private Bank France"

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:06 | 3348852 marco1324
marco1324's picture

He picked a good time to bury bad news.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:07 | 3348858 Waterfallsparkles
Waterfallsparkles's picture

Sad state of affairs when the France Finance Minister will only keep his Money in a Swiss Bank.

He must know that your Money is not safe in any Bank anywhere else.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:07 | 3348860 pods
pods's picture

There is another Baby Ruth in the pool.


Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:59 | 3349203 vulcanraven
vulcanraven's picture


Tue, 03/19/2013 - 23:27 | 3350980 Cpl Hicks
Cpl Hicks's picture

It's good!

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:08 | 3348866 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Classic!  And the picture is a beauty.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:20 | 3348963 Frozen IcQb
Frozen IcQb's picture

Now that's funny and the picture also!


Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:08 | 3348869 B2u
B2u's picture

Not read between the lines.  Just read the lines.  A picture is worth two words... 

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:14 | 3348921 medium giraffe
medium giraffe's picture

Or in this case four words: "Fuck you, still smiling"

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:08 | 3348870 Killer the Buzzard
Killer the Buzzard's picture

Sacre Bleu Cheese!

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:08 | 3348873 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

If you cross match most of those EU politicans with "secret" Swiss bank accounts you would probably find Trillions stashed away. Throw in African dictators' accounts and you might be able to pay the entire EU Debt!

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:08 | 3348876 Cdad
Cdad's picture

But I thought you didn't get to be a "minister" of something unless you were above things like tax evasion, theft, and murder.  I thought government's was a  loving embrace...with intentions of protecting my interests?  I thought government officials had all the answers, including how much of my money should be confiscated to bail out a bad bank, and including how much my currency should be diluted to bail out lots of bad banks?

Please forgive my confusion, as my bunny hole recently went super nova.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:10 | 3348881 fuu
fuu's picture

Jamais danser avec le diable au clair de lune?

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:24 | 3349000 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

He sees nothing wrong with dancing with the devil by the light of the moon.  If you're going to be that big a hipocrite what's a little dirty dancing, especially with a close friend.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:10 | 3348883 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Guess a Swiss bank account is no longer a Swiss bank account.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:10 | 3348886 Debt-Penitent
Debt-Penitent's picture

Photo caption:  "See, read my lips.  I have no so-called secret accounts".

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:15 | 3348931 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Fair chair!
Gerard Depardieu is a coward for not paying taxes!



he's just steps down... and that's the end of it....


I have a friend who's in jail for 4 YEARS!!!! 4 YEARS!!!!

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:10 | 3348887 Martin T
Martin T's picture

Good riddance

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:10 | 3348888 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

By the time all is said and done these bank accounts, wherver they are, may well be worth very little indeed.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:10 | 3348889 kralizec
kralizec's picture

Fuck France anyway.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:11 | 3348892 frenchie
frenchie's picture

the french exception

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:11 | 3348895 Zola
Zola's picture

The thing is he is one of these utter hypocritical leftists who claim to be "for the people" etc.. advocating tax hikes, high government control etc, while living the luxury lifestyle and behaving like a capitalist. I just absolutely ABHOR these hypocrits. Now in itself having a swiss account is the RATIONAL thing to do giving the massive incompetence, lying and fraud. But he just didn't figure out that even that was not so safe anymore. I guess at some point you cannot keep running and hide. You have to FIGHT. MOLON LABE!

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:12 | 3348896 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

  I'll bet that worthless POS Cahuzac sent his resignation from some undisclosed 'banana republic' location.  The French should impale him on a long stake(ass end through the mouth) in front of the Parliment.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:11 | 3348899 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

I can only say....


Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:11 | 3348900 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

This is what happens when you let other humans , TELL you how to live YOUR life

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:12 | 3348901 news printer
news printer's picture

Fuck me; what a week

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:18 | 3348951 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

And it's only Tuesday...

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:22 | 3348956 fuu
Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:26 | 3349014 chunga
chunga's picture

For kicks, I switched from ixquick to google and keyed in the word fraud.

It spit's out "About 271,000,000 results (0.18 seconds)"

OK, changing back to ixquick now.

Anybody else having trouble connecting to ZH? It sucks because if it doesn't come right back up we get ready to grab our GTFO of dodge bags.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:30 | 3349043 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

I think the site is getting slammed today.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:12 | 3348903 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

How else was he to pay the expenses of his mistress?

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:31 | 3349046 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Not to mention the gay stable-boy.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:14 | 3348905 timbo_em
timbo_em's picture

This minor incident surely won't affect President Hollande's popularity, right?!

Just yeaterday he seemed so happy because he could announce that Airbus sold some planes to Indonesia.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:12 | 3348907 medium giraffe
medium giraffe's picture

Apparently he's been stuck on hold all day with the Bank's tech support because he couldn't remember his PIN number

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:13 | 3348913 tony bonn
tony bonn's picture

and the haute punditry ridicule italians for having elected a comic - hysterical laughter ensues.....

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:14 | 3348922 orangedrinkandchips
orangedrinkandchips's picture

when the music's over.....turn out the lights!

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:14 | 3348926 eclectic syncretist
eclectic syncretist's picture

It's a good day to buy some silver.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:16 | 3348932 Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

We live in interesting times.  The public attention from the bad news of one scandal is diverted by another scandal.  Heck, we'll never run out of these.


Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:16 | 3348935 thewayitis
thewayitis's picture


Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:17 | 3348941 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

You can't make this shit up.....

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:45 | 3349139 Rustysilver
Rustysilver's picture


Yes you can but it would not be surreal.

Also, helps if you have a distorted view like i HAVE.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:20 | 3348954 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Tuuuuuuhhhhhhhn dat frown upside down, Mon... Jah Love!

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:34 | 3349064 Jam Akin
Jam Akin's picture

you feelin' irie francis_sawyer?

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:19 | 3348957 Skin666
Skin666's picture

We're all in this together Bitchez!

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:21 | 3348972 NuYawkFrankie
NuYawkFrankie's picture

No doubt Captain Renault would be "Shocked! Shocked!"

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:22 | 3348981 Hoppingpot
Hoppingpot's picture

"Set a thief to catch a thief" is the ony excuse I can think of.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:22 | 3348983 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

     (looking at that pic)   He just got botoxed, so no one can tell when he's lying.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 18:56 | 3350095 Seychelles
Seychelles's picture

Whenever he opens his mouth......

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:23 | 3348995 gwar5
gwar5's picture

And so now he can't buy a gun in the US either because he has dementia and forgets things. These socialist pricks make me sick.


Chavez's shortened plunder, starting from nothing, still gave him a net worth of $2 Billion at his death. The Castro Brothers are also have a net worth $2 Billion. Why do the 'social justice' robots remain agog over these sociopaths? 

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:40 | 3349108 ozzz169
ozzz169's picture

Cause they are too stupid to know better. (problem is they think they are smarter than everyone else.)

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:27 | 3349024 LukeWorm
LukeWorm's picture

Actually he closed the account in 2010 and moved the money to Singapore 

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:32 | 3349052 semperfi
semperfi's picture

I'm sure it was a turbo tax error - advised him on opening that account

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:35 | 3349077 tradingdaze
tradingdaze's picture

I'm sure the Bernanke won't mind sharing his song.

You can't hide your lyin' eyes
And your smile is a thin disguise
I thought by now you'd realize
There ain't no way to hide your lyin eyes

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:36 | 3349081 ozzz169
ozzz169's picture

the only difference between this and the BS that goes on here, is that hear they would just vote themselves an exemption in the law (insider trading anyone?)

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:49 | 3349155 smacker
smacker's picture

The French always play rank hypocrisy with great aplomb :-0)

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 15:52 | 3349173 SmittyinLA
SmittyinLA's picture

The Cypriots should demand a EU Swiss bank tax assessment where they're far more likely to capture "hot criminal money". 

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 16:05 | 3349230 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

Just smile when beeing asked but have no clue what Bitcoin is.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 16:38 | 3349372 Pairadimes
Pairadimes's picture

The only thing that is unquestionably true about this situation is that his replacement will be worse.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 16:47 | 3349390 crzyhun
crzyhun's picture

YESH, if you are French everybody fought the NAZI's- everyone was in the Resistance...right!

Now in french for they know it best

YESH, si vous êtes tous français a combattu le NAZI's-tout le monde était dans la Résistance ... droit!

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 16:41 | 3349391 Moneyshot20
Moneyshot20's picture

Solid use of the Double Bird.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 16:53 | 3349458 DelusionalGrandeur
DelusionalGrandeur's picture would be nice to know how many in our own crongress have secret black holes stuffed with tax payer, insider trading monies. These pricks know no bounds and should be swinging from bridges by the entrails of pedophillic priests. I hope this fucker gets that shit eatin grin pounded on his face.


Oh yeah, and fuck you bernanke, along with all your circle jerk, butt poundin buddies.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 17:19 | 3349557 skymaster
skymaster's picture

You can't make this shit up! Complete with the comments and pics! Classic!


Tue, 03/19/2013 - 19:36 | 3350235 Voamerica
Voamerica's picture

Their is an interesting parallel to this situation in France. Here in the United States, we had the Chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee, Charles Rangel, a few years back did not declare income earned in a foreign country(Dominician Republic). He was head of the House Committe that is empowered to write tax law in the United States.

If you ever wonder why things are so messed up in the good old US, look no farther than Charlie Rangel, that paragon of virtue who nails you to the wall in paying taxes(April 15th, my favrorite day of the year!)but, he himself and his family

avoid paying taxes at all costs. typical elitist attitude, make the other guy pay, and avoid paying taxes yourself. Same thing in France, same thing with the rest of the elitists in the EU, and in the US Congress.

So the head of the tax writing committe skips out on his duty, but sicks IRS agents on you. Sounds fair doesn't it.



Tue, 03/19/2013 - 21:36 | 3350668 BigInJapan
BigInJapan's picture

B b b but he's a Socialist! How could this have happened? Surely this is the work of yet another vast right-wing conspiracy to rid the world of the blessings bestowed by another benevolent servant of the people. Nah! Just another "do as I say and not as I do" liberal liar.

PS: Fuck all the dumb cunts that voted for these Commie assholes. They wanted Socialism - now they've got it and I have ZERO sympathy for them as they get robbed blind.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 22:45 | 3350873 Hedge Fund of One
Hedge Fund of One's picture

"That Swiss Account was part of my investigation of Swiss Accounts!"

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 05:55 | 3351352 lemarche
lemarche's picture


Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!