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Bernanke Press Conference - Live Webcast

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Will the Chairman mention the tools the Fed has to unwind its $3.1 trillion balance sheet, as he did during his Humphrey Hawkins testimony, which included "belts, suspenders -- two pairs of suspenders", will he discuss the many hats broke savers have, will he repeat that he does not provide financial advise, will he praise his tremendous "inflation record" once more, will he discuss the complete lack of the currency war the entire world is engaged in, or will he simply focus on what Corker called the "faux wealth effect"? Found out in moments as Bernanke hand-picked journalists toss him a veritable cornucopia of softball questions.

Webcast source:

 

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Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:31 | 3353237 The Juggernaut
The Juggernaut's picture

Fuck you Bernanke!

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:33 | 3353243 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

Jittery and heavily medicated - AGAIN!  How's that confidence coming along?

 

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:34 | 3353256 redpill
redpill's picture

Little did people know but when Bernanke says inflation is "well controlled" he really means "confined to financial instruments surging to record-highs such that only my Wall Street buddies see any real benefit from the inconceivably large amounts of money creation that has taken place."

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:47 | 3353338 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

Ben fuckin Bernanke has no clue. I am sure he didnt put the factor of the confidence of the people in the financial system into his Princton approved model of economic growth. Wait till Cyprus opens its bank next week or whenever, I am sure we will feel the wraith that most PhD economists are not expecting because they dont factor in social consequences of their fuckin money printing policies...... but for now, please keep ramping the S&P to new highs. Lets get this over with so we can finally start the fall of epic proportions.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:51 | 3353372 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

he may be clueless but he just made it clear to me he will be back for a 3rd term.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:52 | 3353380 fourchan
fourchan's picture

i keep waiting for someone at these circle jerks to jump up and say"its not working you jackass!"

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:57 | 3353381 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

No, you would expect someone from the circle jerk to jump up and shout, "We're out of lube, but KEEP PRINTING".

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:00 | 3353414 Pegasus Muse
Pegasus Muse's picture

He seems to have ready answers to most questions.   

Makes me wonder if the Q&A Session is just a scripted show? 

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:01 | 3353427 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

The suspense is killing me.

Are we there yet?

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:24 | 3353559 TerminalDebt
TerminalDebt's picture

They'll soon jump up and shout "we're out of paper"

 

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 18:55 | 3354540 Heavy
Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:01 | 3353432 ZippyBananaPants
ZippyBananaPants's picture

"do I still have time to get in"?  why doesnt this guy just go up to the stage and blow the Bernank right now.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:03 | 3353434 redpill
redpill's picture

I'm not a violent person but I had a strong urge to punch that guy in the face when he said that.

 

And who is the witch from AP?  Couldn't she at least comb her fuckin hair this morning instead of looking like a hippy that just walked out of the woods?

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:09 | 3353477 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

Well why pay 100 bucks an hour for a paid actress to come on when you can get a bum off the street for the price of a hot dog....now we wouldnt want to waste money and boost the deficit even more now, would we?

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:13 | 3353496 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Someone said that on CNBS this morning and they were hammered.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:58 | 3353378 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:55 | 3353392 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

what was that running down liesman chin....

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:58 | 3353402 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Printing ink!

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:07 | 3353463 akak
akak's picture

At least Steve washed off his Dirty Sanchez before going on air.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:34 | 3353257 machineh
machineh's picture

Beta blockers, bitchez!

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:36 | 3353266 AllThatGlitters
AllThatGlitters's picture

Watch a live spot gold minute chart as he speaks:

http://www.pmbull.com/gold-price/

More fun with testimony, because it often reacts more to the questions and the questioner, than the questionee.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:41 | 3353295 Wile-E-Coyote
Wile-E-Coyote's picture

There is a real warble in his voice, must be that dildo he is sitting on.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:45 | 3353327 Cdad
Cdad's picture

He gets a meatball pitch over the center of the plate, and Dr. Shakey McShakes still shows up.  Yeah, he is confident....oh so confident.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:48 | 3353354 kliguy38
kliguy38's picture

Hilsenrath and LIESman sitting together exchanging handjobs under the table.........this whole sham makes me barf

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:16 | 3353513 angel_of_joy
angel_of_joy's picture

There are 2 kind of people in power in US today: The Morons and The Crooks.

This poor sod (and his buddy O) are from the first category.

The rest of the lot are from the second.

P.S. How stupid has one to be in order to fill the tank of a Gas running presidential limo with Diesel ?

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:26 | 3353574 SILVERGEDDON
SILVERGEDDON's picture

All the world's a stooge. And the players, mere pawns. Part the curtain, and reveal the Wizard pulling Bennie's levers, and pushing his buttons.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:33 | 3353241 Edward Fiatski
Edward Fiatski's picture

Ben is looking extra healthy today, and I haven't heard him stutter yet.

Must be MAJIC.

I'm happy for him.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:34 | 3353250 swissaustrian
swissaustrian's picture

Prozac is the only explanation for his behavior

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:35 | 3353261 Edward Fiatski
Edward Fiatski's picture

I think they use some alien-tech meds, synthesised from Area 51 Research Labs.

Take your pills

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:21 | 3353450 DblAjent
DblAjent's picture

Don't be rediculous. It's MK Ultra...

/sar

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:11 | 3353484 Crash Overide
Crash Overide's picture

"I think they use some alien-tech meds, synthesised from Area 51 Research Labs."

 

Don't worry MKUltra's got this one. I can see the scalar energy beam lighting up his dome as he speaks.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:20 | 3353542 Edward Fiatski
Edward Fiatski's picture

It's MAJIC either way. :)

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:35 | 3353258 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

They brought in a new clone, the last one kept dividing by 0

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:47 | 3353344 max2205
max2205's picture

FLASH: Ben looks Gay 'er today

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:36 | 3353268 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

I hear he achieves the spectacular shine on that bald noggin of his with the fat of puppies and infants. His beard is composed almost entirely from the fur of baby seals.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:40 | 3353292 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

Could be worse, taxpayers could be footing the bill for a barber shop in the capitol, probly loaded to the gills with debt, LOL!!!

 

 

 

 

Aw shit...

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:44 | 3353323 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

Almost forgot.  I would like to apply for the 2M dollar grant job to investigate if lesbians are prone to heavier drinking than non-lesbian women.

 

I, more than anyone else should know, as i am a lesbian trapped in a mans body.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:54 | 3353386 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

My husband is too. Does that make me a lesbian?

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:58 | 3353406 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

No.  

Like my wife, you would be considered bi.  :)

Have to keep up with the times an all.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:01 | 3353426 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Not until after he gets a sex change.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:20 | 3353539 pomlad5
pomlad5's picture

it is those last healthy days before death. Cancer patient relatives can recognize it.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:32 | 3353242 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

there you go ekm. he just said gas/energy prices are transitory. 

that means a knockdown is coming in the energy market, but is sure ain't coming from the cessation of QE.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:49 | 3353358 Cursive
Cursive's picture

@fonzanoon

"The Market is up today, so I don't think [Cypress] is having much of an effect."

-BernanQE

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:56 | 3353395 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

-BernanQE

Nice, I have not seen the true spelling before. +1

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:59 | 3353409 Cursive
Cursive's picture

@MsCreant

I refuse to spell it any other way.  It is his legacy.  BTW, too long since I've seen you here!

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:09 | 3353475 akak
akak's picture

I wish, just once, that Bernanke would go into one of these press conferences with his pet unicorns.  I hear they are very cute.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:00 | 3353423 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

I wonder when we will realize this is bernak's way of cropdusting us.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:52 | 3353371 ekm
ekm's picture

Slightly different language.

ZH just tweeted Obama said that we'll stop Iran.

 

I can't see this going for too long.

Factors:

- Crude oil/food prices

- Iran

 

Same as for George Bush.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:59 | 3353416 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

If we go to war with Iran crude spikes off the charts, no?

 

 

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:05 | 3353448 ekm
ekm's picture

It's the opposite, like Reagan against Ghadafi in 1988 or so.

All that oil in storage is to flood the market when war starts, if it starts.

Same as in Reagan time, oil spikes and collapsed after oil release.

 

If as Bush did, oil released before attacking iran due to financial collapse, then Iran will be pushed to Hillary or Rand Paul, whoever wins next elections, same as Bush leaving Iran to Obama.

 

I love reading history. It's a guide for the present and the future.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:07 | 3353464 dick cheneys ghost
dick cheneys ghost's picture

Im gonna go out on a limb here and suggest that Jeb Bush will be the next chosen one.........gotta keep that bush war record intact!!

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:18 | 3353529 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

GWB twice, followed by Obama twice, followed by another Bush? I hope I'm fucking droned before it happens.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:33 | 3353603 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

don't worry,you're already on THE list.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 21:03 | 3354701 JohnnyBriefcase
JohnnyBriefcase's picture

Getting droned at this point would be a relief.

 

No, instead you are doomed to an eternity of watching this fucking bullshit faggotry we call day to day existence.

Enjoy!

 

*for the NSA douchecopters viewing the responses to this article: fuck off and die in a fire.*

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 21:27 | 3355054 lotsoffun
lotsoffun's picture

not even a suggestion.  it's already etched in gold as soon as they propped up obongo.  he's the one that takes the dive and jeb get to be the 'saviour'.  first family in usa to have three kings.

 

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:09 | 3353474 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

if you think we go to war and I think we just go broke which one of us this the optomist?

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:10 | 3353478 ekm
ekm's picture

Can't go broke if crude oil is coming freely in exchange for worthless dollars.

Just few oligarchs will become poor.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:11 | 3353487 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

The spice must flow, period.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:21 | 3353514 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:16 | 3353520 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Bernak just quoted Paul Volker in saying the only contribution the financial sector has made was the ATM in response to a shrinking financial sector. OT but very interesting. I guess that means we could do with a few less investment banks...

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:19 | 3353530 ekm
ekm's picture

I told you I expected something different today

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:22 | 3353551 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

we will see my friend. I see a lot of the same as far as the eye can see.

Most of these questions seem to be asked by stuttering 11 year olds. Most of them are asking if/when the fed will exit. He seems to be having a jolly time knocking these easy shots off the tee.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:09 | 3353476 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

And the BRICs won't care?  I don't think so.  All paper buring, nothing gets serious until people demand to take possession make that margin call or if the supply lines break.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:11 | 3353483 ekm
ekm's picture

I think the supply chains are already broken.

Decision imminent, IMO

 

FYI, I borrowed the "supply chain" wording from you.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:12 | 3353490 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

So long as the EBT cards are working for the "useless eaters" and the fiat is working for the "elite", I disagree.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:13 | 3353499 ekm
ekm's picture

At least we agree on principle as to the cause.

Timing is a different story.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:04 | 3353449 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Crude crude, or paper crude?

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:06 | 3353459 ekm
ekm's picture

Paper crude is a derivative of real crude.

Paper will collapse.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:10 | 3353480 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Paper (insert your favorite real commodity) is a derivative of (insert your favorite real commodity).

Paper will collapse.

FIXED

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:34 | 3353251 Better_late_tha...
Better_late_than_never's picture

His voice is shaky. He sounds nervous.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:34 | 3353253 magpie
magpie's picture

Also speaking a little faster

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:40 | 3353293 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Shakiness and tempo issues are common with broken records.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:44 | 3353325 Better_late_tha...
Better_late_than_never's picture

Please throw up on world television. pretty please!

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:15 | 3353506 B2u
Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:15 | 3353508 B2u
Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:15 | 3353509 B2u
Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:16 | 3353510 B2u
Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:16 | 3353519 B2u
Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:42 | 3353308 Cursive
Cursive's picture

@Better_late_than_never

He's just nervious because that brunette in the front row was making serious eye contact while typing out his masterful words.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:47 | 3353345 Wile-E-Coyote
Wile-E-Coyote's picture

Has he had a stroke he is not using his right hand to gesture, either that or he is having a wank under the table, might expalin the shaky voice. He keeps telling himself don't climax, don't climax. I expect him to collapse at the end.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:08 | 3353471 DblAjent
DblAjent's picture

Ya! And is it me, or is he speaking out of both sides of his mouth?

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:34 | 3353255 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

'Monetary tool' - is he talking about himself?

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:57 | 3353400 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

LMAO!

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:35 | 3353262 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture
The Fed sees ‘A Return to Moderate Economic Growth', but they can't reduce stimulus?
Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:13 | 3353494 OldE_Ant
OldE_Ant's picture

+1 exactly! 

<sarc>

So lets see if we the serfs have this straight Ben.  Everything is 'getting better', but since your looting spree has had such a 'non-response' from those your stealing from hell 'let's take more'.

Hell of a plan

</sarc>

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:36 | 3353263 fuu
fuu's picture

click click BOOM!

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:39 | 3353287 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

Lovein Bernanke,  Stroke that "Market" at a medium pace.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLm5oSJRxIU

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:45 | 3353330 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Goddamn I forgot that song. Thanks for the memories, dude.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:47 | 3353351 fuu
fuu's picture

Ben is thankful he has no hair.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:36 | 3353270 marco1324
marco1324's picture

The words Bernanke and Press should never be seen in the same sentance.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:38 | 3353275 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Ziggy sees FED speak with BS coming out of mouth

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:41 | 3353276 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

DOW ramped a HUNDRED?? OMFG...it's even more desperate out there than I thought! Well, good luck with all your 'stocks' bullshit Ben, I'm out of this rigged casino forever way better profits elsewhere...have fun with your faggot-ass buttboys on Wall St Ben.

And BTW I almost forgot...FUK U BERNANK!

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:38 | 3353277 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

FUCK YOU BERNANKE YOU QUIVERING LIP, SHAKEY VOICE, LYING ASS BITCH MOTHER FUCKING SOCIOPATH COCKSUCKER MOTHER FUCKER BANKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:00 | 3353420 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Do sociopaths get nervous? All the rest is fine. Carry on.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:38 | 3353281 syntaxterror
syntaxterror's picture

How much has the dollar devalued since this pathetic motherfucker took over? Does anyone have a number from the MIT Billion Prices project to share?

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:39 | 3353289 fuu
fuu's picture

Wasn't that whole program moth balled?

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:41 | 3353300 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

pick a date since 1914...

it dont matter cause its ALL BAD!!

http://www.usinflationcalculator.com/

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:41 | 3353296 Dollar Bill Hiccup
Dollar Bill Hiccup's picture

Oiy vey. One word. Begins with an F.

Where's LongSoupLine?

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:49 | 3353360 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

He is working as a fucking taxidriver in London.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:08 | 3353470 brak
brak's picture

wondering that myself..  his profanity-laced tapestries are truly missed around here lately 

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:41 | 3353297 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Hey Ben, if the recovery is here cut the $40 BILLION per month of MBS purchases and raise rates to 1%.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 21:22 | 3355042 lotsoffun
lotsoffun's picture

we've been 'recovering' for about 4 years now.  hate to see what a relapse would look like.

housing is 'fixed' again.  'bottom'.  i guess the thing about catching and seeing bottoms is you can never have too many,

i'm starting to like that.

 

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:41 | 3353298 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

The fed right now is doing the "on the one hand" bs that ZH detailed yesterday.

that is eerie.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:41 | 3353301 Better_late_tha...
Better_late_than_never's picture

He keeps calling it "accomidation". It's almost a tradition.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:01 | 3353430 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

A barbarous relic?

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:41 | 3353302 DavidC
DavidC's picture

One question would do it.

If things are going as well, why continue with QE?

DavidC

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:43 | 3353313 soopy
soopy's picture

Go Quivering Lips!

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 21:19 | 3355031 lotsoffun
lotsoffun's picture

he's thinking about his mommy's chopped chicken liver sandwich.  wish he had one right now.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:43 | 3353316 eclectic syncretist
eclectic syncretist's picture

Dammit Bernanke, quit shaking, you dumbass.  Do you want them to figure out that the "toolbox" is empty.  Interest rates are zero, you're printing over 1 trillion $$$$ a year, and just because the economy is slipsliding away, you suddenly can't lie like Larry Fink? Just keep saying to yourself "you can sustain an economy indefinately by printing fiat" over and over again until you believe it. Jackass.

 

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:43 | 3353318 ivars
ivars's picture

You will find this interesting:

Here I have overlaid global public debt from 1999-Q3 2012 from this site (it was at about 50 trillion USD in Q3 2012) :

Global public debt World Bank database

Over the price of gold for the same period.

http://saposjoint.net/Forum/viewtopic.php?f=14&t=3214&p=41391#p41391

But global public debt= net world wide savings in fiat currencies ( all). One can see from the chart that initially, the raise in Japanese public debt did not cause movement in the gold prices, but when the USA debt started to grow due to Iraq war in the end of 2003 and decisively exceeded that of Japan by Q3 2005, gold price started to catch up. 

Also, its possible to see that gold price reaction to QE2 was fictitious, as QE2 did not increase global public debt, and gold prices returned to debt line, and now they probably have undershot below ( there are no data yet available for global public debt for Q4 2012 and Q1 2013). Gold prices can over and undershoot pretty much (+30%/-22%) , as I have explained before, and as visible from 

There is also no reaction to QE3, as QE3 does not increase USG debt relative to what it would have been without QE3; QE3 only suppresses interest rates.

Question remains is USG debt=net savings in USD driving the gold prices in USD, or is it the global debt=net savings in all fiat that impacts price of gold in USD. Correlation in 2001-2007 is better with USG debt, while after 2007 total fiat savings=global public debt - fits very well and explains the pullback after QE2. 

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:06 | 3353462 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Paper GLD will do what it is told.  Nothing changes until physical bullion is demanded, then all hell breaks loose. Applicable to commodities now as well. The world has been here before.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:43 | 3353319 Darksky
Darksky's picture

...uuummm...quantitative...uuummmm.....easing.....ummmm.....is....aaahhh.....uuumm....good....

Just fucking drone me

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:44 | 3353322 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

NAH...everythings just PEACHES and CAKE out there! We don't NEED $100 billion/month direct life support for stawks, its just 'accomodation' see?

Eh...shove it up your ass Ben.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:44 | 3353324 Cursive
Cursive's picture

Liesman!  Calibration FTW!  Jeez, it's a room full of Liesmans.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:45 | 3353332 SumSUN
SumSUN's picture

Full speed ahead!  Print print print.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:48 | 3353342 swissaustrian
swissaustrian's picture

First reasonable question about Cyprus

"The vote failed and the markets are up today" (BB)

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:50 | 3353362 SumSUN
SumSUN's picture

Yes, a good question.  But Bernanke is not concerned because the markets are up!  

wow.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:47 | 3353347 Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

Ah, here's the first Cyprus question...

 

Answer: They suck, we don't.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:49 | 3353359 swissaustrian
swissaustrian's picture

Answer: we got the ppt

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:08 | 3353348 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"My child is well, is not stealing, and is recovering from addiction; however, the muggings and heroin injections will continue until sometime in 2015."

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:48 | 3353352 Zen Bernanke
Zen Bernanke's picture

I'd like a pair of Ben's blinders because apparently he is pretty much the only one who doesn't see the imminent threat in his monetary policy. 

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:48 | 3353353 s2man
s2man's picture

No drinking game?  Come on, I don't feel well and could use some medicine...

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:48 | 3353355 TalkToLind
TalkToLind's picture

LOL.  Same as it ever was.

 

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:48 | 3353357 max2205
max2205's picture

Just be glad he didn't say he was clearing the asset portion of his sheet, and oh, he is tking 30% of your IRA and savings account and ....

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:50 | 3353364 BullyBearish
BullyBearish's picture

Re Cyprus, "...the vote failed and the markets are up today so all is well the financial systems"   

the market has become a proxy for his own performance...Buy Any Fucking Dip until the revolution

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:51 | 3353366 Dollar Bill Hiccup
Dollar Bill Hiccup's picture

Add another word, begins with "H", in front of word that begins with "F".

Cyprus? Ah, markets are up, so no big deal ... but we're monitoring.

John H. ... are you looking forward to the hummer I will bestow upon you at our next tryst?

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:53 | 3353368 Dollar Bill Hiccup
Dollar Bill Hiccup's picture

Dupe, apologies.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:51 | 3353369 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

look ya'll...

we can bring this shit to an end all by our selves...

EVERY OTHER WEEK OR EVERY WEEK LETS BY PHYSICAL SILVER AND GOLD...

LEAVE ONLY 20 DEBT COUPON DOLLARS IN THE BANK UNLESS YOU GOT BILLS TO PAY AND NEED TO DO SO ELECTRONICALLY BUT ONLY DEPOSIT FOR THAT PURPOSE AT THAT TIME...

STAY OUT OF THE "FRAUD MARKET" COMPLETELEY.........

we need widespread active resistance in this manner at the least...

JOIN ME......................

EVERYBODY FUCKING MAN UP..............................

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:00 | 3353403 Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

I'm in.  Better yet, get a credit card that offers airline miles, issued by the same bank as the one with whom you have your checking account, pay all of your monthly bills on that credit card, and keep only enough money in your checking account to pay off the credit card each month, while the issuing bank gives you enough miles to get free plane tickets every 6 months or so to do it.  The leftover fiat gets traded for shiny rocks.

My wife and I haven't paid for air travel in years.  However, we no longer travel by boat after that one accident.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:16 | 3353511 DblAjent
DblAjent's picture

Way ahead of ya, papi. And if I didn't HAVE to have direct deposit, I wouldn't. Wait til you feel the freedom of living on cash! You can buy shit and there's no trace. SWEET!

Remember to NOT use your cash reward card...

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:10 | 3353373 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Addressing TBTF?  Are you kidding?  You aren't addressing it, you are ENABLING IT!!!

If you don't want TBTF don't bail the mother fuckers out and then buy $45+ BILLION per month of their bundled crap Mortagage Backed Securities!!!

AAAAUUUUGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

The man is a pathological liar - or a complete dithering fool.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:52 | 3353375 Meatballs
Meatballs's picture

Benny looks like he's about to shit his pants...Um...Um...Um...

This guy is in charge of something? WTF?

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:54 | 3353383 Dollar Bill Hiccup
Dollar Bill Hiccup's picture

CIA has finally gotten his meds down pat ...

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:59 | 3353407 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

 Ask him what the difference between QE and Market rigging is.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:11 | 3353488 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Or why the Federal Reserve even exists when the US Constitution requries the US Treasury to create the coin of the realm.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:53 | 3353678 Crash Overide
Crash Overide's picture

"Or why the Federal Reserve even exists when the US Constitution requries the US Treasury to create the coin of the realm."

 

Same thing with the IRS... Both frauds. 

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:55 | 3353393 thismarketisrigged
thismarketisrigged's picture

how is this jackass able to get away with this shit?

 

this is so fucking illegal, he manipulates stocks so badly, yet he is allowed to be free. 

 

i cant take this shit anymore, i need the market to fucking crash and wall st bankers to go to prison for life

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:57 | 3353397 Blankenstein
Blankenstein's picture

This asshole has created housing bubble 2.0 by manipulating the market and keeping prices high so main street's money keeps flowing into mortgage payments and taxes, with little left over for discretionary spending.  Great way to grow the eCONomy Ben, you idiot!

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 18:06 | 3354337 optimator
optimator's picture

Bbbut he IS growing the economy, been to Longggiiillland lately?

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:57 | 3353398 JLee2027
JLee2027's picture

Liesman was on CNBC yesterday talking about QE ending in 2014 and the Fed unloading it's 3 trillion in assets. Neither will ever happen.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:00 | 3353421 Sandy15
Sandy15's picture

How can it?  Who would buy it?  And without the FED pumping up the market those assets would loose value right away....

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:57 | 3353399 Antifederalist
Antifederalist's picture

"It's all very complicated....."   only us PHd's can figure it out.

 

 

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:06 | 3353458 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Yeah, and "Numerical economic targets are sign posts - not triggers".

ROFLMAO!

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:58 | 3353401 Pairadimes
Pairadimes's picture

In my favorite dream, Claus von Stauffenberg puts a briefcase down next to Bernanke's podium.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:58 | 3353405 Antifederalist
Antifederalist's picture

This was one very dovish statement.

The Dow got the message.  The PM's would be ripping if not for the Exchange Stabilization Fund's creation and sale of some more paper gold.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:01 | 3353425 Blankenstein
Blankenstein's picture

High home prices are good!  Part of Ben's salary must come from the NAR (National Association of Racketeers).

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:02 | 3353441 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

Yeah, Mission accomplished.... new stock and housing bubble in place.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:01 | 3353429 swissaustrian
swissaustrian's picture

"We're not targetting asset prices"

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:01 | 3353431 Antifederalist
Antifederalist's picture

"We are not targeting asset prices"  LIAR  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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