Bernanke Press Conference - Live Webcast

Tyler Durden's picture

Will the Chairman mention the tools the Fed has to unwind its $3.1 trillion balance sheet, as he did during his Humphrey Hawkins testimony, which included "belts, suspenders -- two pairs of suspenders", will he discuss the many hats broke savers have, will he repeat that he does not provide financial advise, will he praise his tremendous "inflation record" once more, will he discuss the complete lack of the currency war the entire world is engaged in, or will he simply focus on what Corker called the "faux wealth effect"? Found out in moments as Bernanke hand-picked journalists toss him a veritable cornucopia of softball questions.

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nope-1004's picture

Jittery and heavily medicated - AGAIN!  How's that confidence coming along?


redpill's picture

Little did people know but when Bernanke says inflation is "well controlled" he really means "confined to financial instruments surging to record-highs such that only my Wall Street buddies see any real benefit from the inconceivably large amounts of money creation that has taken place."

Divided States of America's picture

Ben fuckin Bernanke has no clue. I am sure he didnt put the factor of the confidence of the people in the financial system into his Princton approved model of economic growth. Wait till Cyprus opens its bank next week or whenever, I am sure we will feel the wraith that most PhD economists are not expecting because they dont factor in social consequences of their fuckin money printing policies...... but for now, please keep ramping the S&P to new highs. Lets get this over with so we can finally start the fall of epic proportions.

fonzannoon's picture

he may be clueless but he just made it clear to me he will be back for a 3rd term.

fourchan's picture

i keep waiting for someone at these circle jerks to jump up and say"its not working you jackass!"

Pure Evil's picture

No, you would expect someone from the circle jerk to jump up and shout, "We're out of lube, but KEEP PRINTING".

Pegasus Muse's picture

He seems to have ready answers to most questions.   

Makes me wonder if the Q&A Session is just a scripted show? 

NotApplicable's picture

The suspense is killing me.

Are we there yet?

ZippyBananaPants's picture

"do I still have time to get in"?  why doesnt this guy just go up to the stage and blow the Bernank right now.

redpill's picture

I'm not a violent person but I had a strong urge to punch that guy in the face when he said that.


And who is the witch from AP?  Couldn't she at least comb her fuckin hair this morning instead of looking like a hippy that just walked out of the woods?

Divided States of America's picture

Well why pay 100 bucks an hour for a paid actress to come on when you can get a bum off the street for the price of a hot we wouldnt want to waste money and boost the deficit even more now, would we?

insanelysane's picture

Someone said that on CNBS this morning and they were hammered.

smlbizman's picture

what was that running down liesman chin....

akak's picture

At least Steve washed off his Dirty Sanchez before going on air.

machineh's picture

Beta blockers, bitchez!

AllThatGlitters's picture

Watch a live spot gold minute chart as he speaks:

More fun with testimony, because it often reacts more to the questions and the questioner, than the questionee.

Wile-E-Coyote's picture

There is a real warble in his voice, must be that dildo he is sitting on.

Cdad's picture

He gets a meatball pitch over the center of the plate, and Dr. Shakey McShakes still shows up.  Yeah, he is confident....oh so confident.

kliguy38's picture

Hilsenrath and LIESman sitting together exchanging handjobs under the table.........this whole sham makes me barf

angel_of_joy's picture

There are 2 kind of people in power in US today: The Morons and The Crooks.

This poor sod (and his buddy O) are from the first category.

The rest of the lot are from the second.

P.S. How stupid has one to be in order to fill the tank of a Gas running presidential limo with Diesel ?


All the world's a stooge. And the players, mere pawns. Part the curtain, and reveal the Wizard pulling Bennie's levers, and pushing his buttons.

Edward Fiatski's picture

Ben is looking extra healthy today, and I haven't heard him stutter yet.

Must be MAJIC.

I'm happy for him.

swissaustrian's picture

Prozac is the only explanation for his behavior

Edward Fiatski's picture

I think they use some alien-tech meds, synthesised from Area 51 Research Labs.

Take your pills

DblAjent's picture

Don't be rediculous. It's MK Ultra...


Crash Overide's picture

"I think they use some alien-tech meds, synthesised from Area 51 Research Labs."


Don't worry MKUltra's got this one. I can see the scalar energy beam lighting up his dome as he speaks.

Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

They brought in a new clone, the last one kept dividing by 0

max2205's picture

FLASH: Ben looks Gay 'er today

McMolotov's picture

I hear he achieves the spectacular shine on that bald noggin of his with the fat of puppies and infants. His beard is composed almost entirely from the fur of baby seals.

Stoploss's picture

Could be worse, taxpayers could be footing the bill for a barber shop in the capitol, probly loaded to the gills with debt, LOL!!!





Aw shit...

Stoploss's picture

Almost forgot.  I would like to apply for the 2M dollar grant job to investigate if lesbians are prone to heavier drinking than non-lesbian women.


I, more than anyone else should know, as i am a lesbian trapped in a mans body.

MsCreant's picture

My husband is too. Does that make me a lesbian?

Stoploss's picture


Like my wife, you would be considered bi.  :)

Have to keep up with the times an all.

Pure Evil's picture

Not until after he gets a sex change.

pomlad5's picture

it is those last healthy days before death. Cancer patient relatives can recognize it.

fonzannoon's picture

there you go ekm. he just said gas/energy prices are transitory. 

that means a knockdown is coming in the energy market, but is sure ain't coming from the cessation of QE.

Cursive's picture


"The Market is up today, so I don't think [Cypress] is having much of an effect."


MsCreant's picture


Nice, I have not seen the true spelling before. +1

Cursive's picture


I refuse to spell it any other way.  It is his legacy.  BTW, too long since I've seen you here!

akak's picture

I wish, just once, that Bernanke would go into one of these press conferences with his pet unicorns.  I hear they are very cute.

fonzannoon's picture

I wonder when we will realize this is bernak's way of cropdusting us.

ekm's picture

Slightly different language.

ZH just tweeted Obama said that we'll stop Iran.


I can't see this going for too long.


- Crude oil/food prices

- Iran


Same as for George Bush.

fonzannoon's picture

If we go to war with Iran crude spikes off the charts, no?