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Cyprus Banks To Reopen Next Tuesday At Earliest As Capital Controls Become Reality

Tyler Durden's picture


We can only hope that nobody will be shocked that the greatly overhyped Friday Cyprus bank reopen has been postponed.


And since March 25, Monday, is another Cyprus bank holiday, "Greek Independence Day" (from whom? Certainly not the Troika), it means Cypriot banks will now remain closed at least until next Tuesday and likely far longer. In the meantime, since TV cameras can't show lines of people at their freindly neighborhood bank, which will have been closed for over a week, the propaganda machine will blast full bore how because the market is pushed higher by the Fed, any fears of bank runs can be forgotten. Actually instead of "can", replace with "must."

But since banks have to reopen at some time, at which point the inevitable bank runs will become reality, the already discussed Plan B is now taking shape:


It remains to be seen if a country can't have a bank run in the New Centrally-Planned and Despotic Normal, if there is simply a law saying it is now illegal to pull or transfer more than €100 of cash per day.


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Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:19 | 3352488 stinkhammer
stinkhammer's picture

jackie treehorn wants to see you

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:20 | 3352490 flacon
flacon's picture

The beatings will continue until morale improves. 

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:21 | 3352502 cifo
cifo's picture

Software developers must be doing a lot of overtime. At least somebody makes some money out of the situation.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:23 | 3352515 Irelevant
Irelevant's picture

50 euros/day/depositor. Looks like good business! You will stay in line for weeks, months, years, decades!

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:28 | 3352542 machineh
machineh's picture

As in Argentina, so in Cyprus: the corralito [little corral] morphs into a corralón [giant livestock pen for sheeple].

Argentina's withdrawal limits on bank accounts lasted for a year.

Cypriots who can might want to live on the mainland, while they're still EU members.


Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:29 | 3352548 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

There need to be some Cyp-RIOTS!

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:40 | 3352610 iDealMeat
iDealMeat's picture

I seriously hope that instead of rioting. They all just walk away, stay healthy, and begin they're own barter system. They're going to have to start somewhere. Now is an opportunity to just walk away and never play the fucking Frac. FIAT game ever again.. This isn't some natural disaster..  Its all a total banker fuck up.. My guess is that Cyprus is sitting on a derivative bomb and Goldman Sachs knows it.. It won't be allowed to blow..


Right now fruit / milk / short shelf life items need to move.. And the grocers can't restock..  Start bartering now..  Cut out the foreign a-hole bankers..


Wed, 03/20/2013 - 13:00 | 3352733 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

They've been bartering before your ancestors set foot in this country.  So no need for the typical-American 1-variable (either/or) solution.  They also need to march to Gov and threaten them with calm, rational, but determined civil forms of 'Civil Disobedience'. 

I.e. exercise their Human Rights, regardless of what puppet heads their FinMin or their Gov.  Too bad this is not happening in the US, where the sheep are blissfully ignorant of reality.  It reminds me of the Jesus parable of the man who objects to the speck in his neighbor's eye, while ignoring the log in his own.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 17:06 | 3354014 Lore
Lore's picture

The public never grasps that control freaks cannot simply be asked to go away. They are pathological, and see you as livestock. Your words and feelings are irrelevant. Human costs are irrelevant. Historically, emancipation requires some kind of violence, with specific individuals and groups removed and examples made. But people aren't usually motivated and galvanized in large numbers until conditions become so intolerable that the status quo is seen as more costly than attempting to do something different.  Their thinking comes into focus around a trigger incident, like we saw during the Arab Spring.  Other individuals and groups will rise and attempt to hijack the reform movement.  (Beware of "green" Agenda 21 in that regard.) Some newsletter writers suggest a kind of Nuremburg-style trial when the dust settles, but I don't see how that will placate the desire for revenge when confidence in the judiciary is lost and the public is crying for blood.

I don't advocate violence. Looking at the trouble ahead, I just don't imagine people behaving any other way.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 13:01 | 3352734 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Tyler, please delete double post.  Thx.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 13:03 | 3352757 sessinpo
sessinpo's picture

That only workks for items produced locally.


What are they going to do with they need items produced outside Cyprus or need materials (raw materials) produced outside Cyprus.


This is actually an important question because it illustrates how the international banking system has a strangle hold on all of us.


Yes, I can get locally grown food. My electricity is produced by coal in my state. I imagine, if I look hard enough, I can find locally made items such as clothing. I can barter for services such as roofing, car repairs, etc.


But what is Cyprus going to do when it needs steel for manufacturing or construction? Cyprus may be in a very tight position because its an island. Do they have to import wood? Think about it.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:18 | 3353163 mvsjcl
mvsjcl's picture

Don't they have, like, huge forests of cypruss trees? I'd think wood is the least of their problems.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:20 | 3353540 20-20 Hindsight
20-20 Hindsight's picture

Very funny!  Cyprus = cypress.  

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:24 | 3353193 cifo
cifo's picture

Their main industry is tourism. Like Cuba.


Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:42 | 3352622 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

Here is the International Monetary Fund (IMF) playbook on capital controls written on November 14, 2012. To bad Christine LaGarde may be watching its implementation from La Sante' Prison.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:51 | 3352679 Muddy1
Muddy1's picture

"To bad Christine LaGarde may be watching its implementation from La Sante' Prison."


Too bad???????  I don't think it's too bad.  Frankly I hope she has a gang of fellow banksters as her fellow inmates.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 13:03 | 3352761 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

I guess I should have <sarced> my comment.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 18:38 | 3354477 cosmyccowboy
cosmyccowboy's picture

i didnt know the russian mafia used prisons anymore...

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:54 | 3352624 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



It remains to be seen if a country can't have a bank run in the New Centrally-Planned and Despotic Normal, if there is simply a law saying it is now illegal to pull or transfer more than €100 of cash per day.

Draghian philosophy states:

There can be no more bank runs;
Thus, there will be no more bank runs.
Party on, Wayne!
Party on, Garth!

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:03 | 3353097 Bullionaire
Bullionaire's picture

"...Cypriot banks will now remain closed at least until next Tuesday..."







(and I'm not referring to Prissy Lagarde)

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:56 | 3352707 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

with a few minor changes they could swicth cyprus to alcatraz.....only difference is the gaurds have taken all others hostage and are demanding a 15.5% ransom.....

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:46 | 3352655 Muddy1
Muddy1's picture


@ machineh,

Your points are well taken.  I believe I'll take charge of my own capital controls by cleaning out my accounts today, and on each and every future payday.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:28 | 3352544 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Some one get a pirate ship ready, the fat ladys has sung, hung and been stung, she's ready to walk the plank,.. with all those others too. I will gladly pay you tuesday, for a hamburger, today.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:49 | 3352669 Max Cynical
Max Cynical's picture

Are payments restricted as well? Say if you want to buy a car or a house, etc?

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:53 | 3352692 jus_lite_reading
jus_lite_reading's picture


You have been warned!

IF the Cypriot banks reopen next week, I guarantee there will be no stoping what is to occur. 

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 13:40 | 3352928 OutLookingIn
OutLookingIn's picture

The banking sector on Cyprus has ceased to exist.

Their banks are finished. Done.

Put a fork in them. If, and that's a BIG IF, they re-open, they will be empty shells.

Or is that empty shelves?  

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:23 | 3352516 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

bullish for businesses there. Some how krugman will find a way.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:24 | 3352507 CH1
CH1's picture

Our overseers are righteous and benevolent!

Our overseers are righteous and benevolent!

Repeat, slaves!

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:25 | 3352531 otto skorzeny
otto skorzeny's picture

if they would only have had bitcoins to save them

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 13:06 | 3352727 Renewable Life
Renewable Life's picture

I'm a silver guy myself, but I've also been buying bit coins, I'm not sure why there is so much hatred on ZH against bit coins, they are NOT threatening gold and silver at all, if anything they will be the liquidity tool used to move huge amounts of wealth around the planet anonymously and you won't need a fucking ship and army to do it! Yes, if the people of Cyprus had moved their savings into physical bit coin notes, they would have had no levy, complete access to there money in ANY country on the planet, they could have gotten on a plane or ferry with them and no one would know what they had, and could have exchanged them back to the local currency at anytime and had that new currency transferred to a new account or another online payment system (liberty reserve, etc)
Silver and gold are great if your going to never leave your house, but moving around the world or even your own country with physical gold and silver is not realistic! I think people have to realize that we are now living in a police planet, at every point of entry and exit on this planet, there are governments and their police looking for "unusual" behavior, this will only get more intense and controlling, any tool that helps people fight this oppression, is a tool I'm for!!!!

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 13:31 | 3352872 Things that go bump
Things that go bump's picture

What is a bit coin? It sounds like paying out your legitimate fiat for a bastard form of fiat. Who is conjouring them out of nothing?  Why can't I just conjour my own bit coins out of nothing? The bankers will never allow such competition. One of these days you will wake up and find your bit coins have been digitally confiscated as conterfeit with no recourse. 

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 13:35 | 3352886 daveO
daveO's picture

Exactly. It's a big trap. I can see them 'attacking' it and then blaming Iran, N.Korea or China for a cyber attack. BAC's website has been shutdown already and this excuse floated. Bank Holiday by another name.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:09 | 3353473 1000924014093
1000924014093's picture

You can conjure them out of nothing--BUT it takes a lot of computing power which costs money and takes time--there is no cost free shortcut to "mine" them. 

Like the other poster I don't get the hate for BC--I don't see how it threatens PM.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 16:38 | 3353912 Renewable Life
Renewable Life's picture

1. they ARE NOT being conjoured up out of nothing, they are being "mined" using a computer program and there are a limit to the number of these that can be "mined" in a period of time, and overall (21 million BTC are ALL the bitcoins that will ever exist in the world, using the algorthymn that creates them, collectively using computers all over the world in a decentralized fashion). 10 million + have been mined so far in a little over three years, the last BTC will be mined in 2017 and each year between now and then, less coins wil be mined, until the program shuts down and the last coin will be in circulation

2. They cant be counterfeited or created by ANY other means, ever, by ANYONE! 

3. I can store my bitcoins "offgrid" in my safe, and they can never be "confiscated", I can transfer them back to digital anytime I want, and back offgrid instantly. 

There is alot of misinformation about BTC, but if you look into it a little deeper, you will see, its a great thing! Having said that, I'm still buying PM's and stock piling essentials, but BTC are a serious threat to the new world order of banksters and Gov thieves that have taken over this planet! Dont knock them until you've done some research! 

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 17:55 | 3354282 Things that go bump
Things that go bump's picture

My sister-in-law invested heavily in beany babies as a storage of wealth. 

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 22:13 | 3355256 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Unlike beanie babies, there is a FINITE LIMIT to the number of Bitcoins, try again.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 16:57 | 3353976 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

Who is conjouring them out of nothing?

They are not conjured out of nothing. It requires energy to find the number codes which have some perfect features of sound money. It's like digital gold.

Why can't I just conjour my own bit coins out of nothing?

You can become a Bitcoin miner like you can become a gold miner. You will see it's a risky business requiring investments, bears costs and requires a certain level of savviness to become profitable.

The bankers will never allow such competition. One of these days you will wake up and find your bit coins have been digitally confiscated as conterfeit with no recourse.

Confiscate Bitcoins is impracticable unless you confiscate every computer, every data storage device and every sheet of paper, engraved finger rings etc and bring everyone in the world into a gulag who have memorized private keys or have Bitcoin related knowledge.




Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:55 | 3352703 waterwitch
waterwitch's picture


Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:22 | 3352509 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

That just gives us more time to continue our little bank runs...  Take the gift!  Get your (at least some) money OUT!

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:37 | 3352587 Henry Chinaski
Henry Chinaski's picture


If one were to withdraw $1k in cash every week or so, it wouldn't draw much attention. If one were to have started a couple of years ago, that would add up to a nice sum by now. Maybe some of that cash goes toward buying bullion coins at the local coin dealer every week or so.  Not much downside to this behavior in ZIRP World, especially if you can fly below the radar.  

Just sayin'.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:22 | 3353501 Renfield
Renfield's picture

Damn. Someone leaked our strategy.

We've been undergoing our own 'economic depression' for about 6 years now, regardless of what economists say the cycle is, together with the biweekly 'bank runs' that go along with that.

In related news, it's bloody amazing how our budgeting savvy and general family financial awareness has leaped ahead since then. Scams suddenly appear so much more transparent, and bankster voodoo priests gradually become smaller and MUCH more understandable. Even your average non-Ivy-League, uneducated (financially) sheep family can turn into a lean mean thrift machine with just this one simple step. Even dealing with fear becomes a matter of mental strategy.

When you're living through a War On Savers, you want to train yourself into a fighting fit soldier. This is boot camp.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 17:13 | 3354054 Lore
Lore's picture

That's a good analogy. I see it too. People are turning off their televisions.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:24 | 3352521 sunnydays
sunnydays's picture

The question of it, is... What does Russia think of this?  They can't get their money either and afterwards having to controlled?  I don't believe they will go along with it.  Cyprus is between a rock and a hard place. 




Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:32 | 3352561 chubbar
chubbar's picture

OK, place your capital controls and shut the banks down for 10 days. There will never be another deposit placed into a bank. How the fuck are they going to deal with that? They are doing a controlled bleed of the deposits but not thinking of how to get confidence back into the banking system so that people will actually continue to do business with them voluntarily. They are fucked now. The longer they stay closed, the more hardship the average depositor is forced to withstand, the longer the memory of the assfucking they are getting at the hands of the bankers. I'd say they have cemented the demise of the Cyprus banking system. Anyone out there have any clue the notational of the CDS that have been put on these banks?

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:45 | 3352648 Henry Chinaski
Henry Chinaski's picture

So maybe it's just a small scale rehearsal or science experiment?  See what happens in the test tube of Cypress before running the process on a larger scale.

All along, I have believed that any financial collapse in the US must be preceded by a collapse of the EU.  Maybe this is the beginning.  Maybe it's not and the can gets kicked for years or decades.  All I know is that now look like one of those times to pay attention, take precautions and be ready to adjust quickly. 

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:51 | 3352685 blu
blu's picture

They will allow people to take out their deposits in cash Euros ... and then drop the Euro. They will buy back Euros and sell Cyprus dollars at a fraction of the exchange rate. If people end up with 50% of their original value they'll be fortunate.

The banks will be fine, and they'll have siezed a lot of cash. They will appease the Russians by either 1) giving them a better deal than they give everyone else, 2) giving them a heads-up ahead of the shakedown so they can duck-n-cover, or 3) giving them access to minerals or other assets in exchange.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 13:17 | 3352825 s2man
s2man's picture

I think you got that backwards.  They drop the euro, reopen the banks, and let you withdraw new Cyprus currency units at nice rate to euro.  Then, they revalue or print the shit out of new currency and you are left with 50% original purchasing power.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 16:23 | 3353850 e-recep
e-recep's picture

you are very optimistic. they should consider themselves lucky if they could recoup half of their purchasing power.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 13:03 | 3352758 Hughing
Hughing's picture

I think the Russians are making serious offers; not the degrading sh&t from the Troika. Someone is buying Cyprus, whether it's Moscow, Brussels/Washington; they're all bad choices. Moscow means mafia controll. Brussels/Washington is to be sacrificed time and again for other intrests. I vote for Moscow and honest criminals

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:33 | 3352565 Banksters
Banksters's picture

Germany's finance minister, Wolfgang Schaeuble said major Cypriot banks were "insolvent if there are no emergency funds,” according to a BBC report, meaning savers might lose all their money if no deal was reached. What a cocknozzle.
Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:40 | 3352621 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture

Forward Fearmongering.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:53 | 3352693 xtop23
xtop23's picture

I am loving that they pulled this shit. Nothing says wake the fuck up like a bank account rape.

I feel bad for the people that didn't wake up prior to this crap, but if their eyes weren't open before, I'd bet the farm they are now.

Bring it on.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 16:33 | 3353892 asteroids
asteroids's picture

Anybody know how much gold might be stored in Cyprus? Not just the governments, but I bet those sneaky Russian folks have saftey deposit boxes full of the shiny stuff.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:24 | 3352501 herpderp
Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:25 | 3352530 Timmay
Timmay's picture

It wasn't 9.9%, it was 100%.

Even in this day and age where I have been following this site for 5-6 years and consider myself somewhat "in the know" of what is going on, this potential development is stunning. 

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:48 | 3352666 sharky2003
sharky2003's picture

I'm not shocked at all. In fact I called it a few days ago...

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:48 | 3352665 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture


Wed, 03/20/2013 - 13:35 | 3352891 Dooud
Dooud's picture

Is this about my rug?

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 13:35 | 3352893 glenlloyd
glenlloyd's picture

The longer they stay closed the worse the situation will be when they finally open, that is unless they clamp down on withdrawals as I expect they will.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:20 | 3352489 Fred Garvin
Fred Garvin's picture

One last time...Video explains Cypress for the masses.


Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:26 | 3352495 flacon
flacon's picture

Cypress Hill or CYPRUS?


Here's an easy way to remember. The symbol for the element COPPER is CU (with a "U"). Cyprus literally means Copper and during the Roman empire they got much of their copper from Cyprus. 


So that is CyprUs with a "U" just like "Cu" is copper. 

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:39 | 3352617 Fred Garvin
Fred Garvin's picture

Ooops...lack of sleep.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:45 | 3352649 flacon
flacon's picture

No problem man. It's just painful to see Cyprus misspelled so frequently. 

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:51 | 3352680 Fred Garvin
Fred Garvin's picture

Meant CYPRUS of course...

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:20 | 3352492 Irelevant
Irelevant's picture

Told you :)

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:21 | 3352497 Tortfeasor
Tortfeasor's picture

Is there any commerce actually occuring in Cyprus right now? After one week I'd expect many people have run out of physical cash.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:22 | 3352510 gamera9
gamera9's picture

Chase Saphire, Jamie Dimon wins again

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:24 | 3352524 CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

Exactly.  How do you buy anything with your credit card from one of those banks?  They swipe the card and the machine can't talk to the bank.

No transaction takes place.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:34 | 3352569 ArkansasAngie
ArkansasAngie's picture

Perhaps we should organize a concert and food drive.  No access to funds will mean that little Cypriot children are going hungry.

At some point in time folks are going to get tired of being a statistic to these shatheads.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:21 | 3352498 Titus
Titus's picture

What's mine is mine and what was yours is now mine.

-The Elite

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:25 | 3352527 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

So do debit and credit cards work during this "holiday"?  If so, I would simply start buying up goods and liquidate the bitchez that way.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:50 | 3352554 Quantitative_Ap...
Quantitative_Appeasing's picture

I foresee the following response coming shortly:


"Excellent Mr Elite! 

I have only one question? Where would you like your new knife deposited, in your heart or your anus?"



Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:21 | 3352500 otto skorzeny
otto skorzeny's picture

what a fucking joke-eat a bag of circumcised dicks Fink.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:21 | 3352506 Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture

C U Next Tuesday.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:44 | 3352642 fuu
fuu's picture


Wed, 03/20/2013 - 13:57 | 3353059 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

saving useless bankers through lynching easily?

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:22 | 3352508 BullsNBeers
BullsNBeers's picture

Ha ha ha.... Fractional return banking!

Where "demand deposit" accounts become "stand in line and we'll give you a little".

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:35 | 3352578 machineh
machineh's picture

Sort of like overnight sweeps in the U.S., where checking accounts magically morph into savings accounts (with no reserve requirements) overnight.

But one morning, if they fail to morph back, banks already are authorized to impose withdrawal restrictions on savings accounts.

Greenspan approved overnight sweeps in 1994, and the subterfuge has de facto eliminated reserve requirements, as the NY Fed explains:

TPTB teed us up for 'Cyprusing' twenty years ago. They just haven't seen fit to pull the plug yet.


Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:22 | 3352511 Silver Garbage Man
Silver Garbage Man's picture

One of many reasons to have food stored.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:26 | 3352538 cifo
cifo's picture

I'm sure that food sellers at the market take gold as payment.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:38 | 3352606 machineh
machineh's picture

Hey, upvoters -- '/sarc' is heavily implied here

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:58 | 3352719 scatterbrains
scatterbrains's picture

I can imagine a scenario with these banksta niggas where they know shit's about to get real so they devise a plan to crush gold down to something like sub $500 an ounce by synchronizing across the globe bank holidays followed by daily withdrawal limits at some small amount that barely allows you to eat and get gas.  Mean while they buy up every last gram of gold above ground just before they announce official currency devaluations which rockets gold up to $5k - $10k per ounce.  I wouldn't put anything past them and the thing to remember never sell your gold under any circumstance as things will go haywire first down and then sky high or at least there is a chance it plays out that way.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:38 | 3353278 Crash Overide
Crash Overide's picture

"I'm sure that food sellers at the market take gold as payment."


Silver too, but I doubt they take Bitcoins... just saying. 

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 16:29 | 3353877 e-recep
e-recep's picture

yeah, but you'd have to part with a lot of your gold coins in that case. food in case of hunger is golden.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:23 | 3352513 CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

So you want to do business and you offer up a credit card to buy something.  The card can't contact the bank.  The transaction doesn't execute.

All over the country this is happening.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:32 | 3352560 BullsNBeers
BullsNBeers's picture

And yet I can't help but think that they will have no problem assessing late fees for bills that couldn't be paid because they were closed.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:33 | 3352568 eclectic syncretist
eclectic syncretist's picture

No electronic transactions possible?  That should boost GDP by at least a couple tenths of a point, right?

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:23 | 3352514 tradewithdave
tradewithdave's picture

....aaaaand, they will gladly pay you double next Tuesday.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:40 | 3352620 machineh
machineh's picture

... for a promissory note maturing the following Tuesday.

A week here, a week there, and pretty soon you've got gray hair.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:23 | 3352518 Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

Here's a thought:  The Cyprus thang was planned in order to get people around the world to make a run on the banks so they can blame us for the unnecesary panic about an "idea" to steal people's money that caused the failure of the banking system.  If we would've just remained calm and trusted TPTB, everything would've been fine?  Brilliant, actually.  

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:33 | 3352564 chunga
chunga's picture

If I still had money in a TBTF bank and caused it to collapse by participating in a bank run, I'd gladly take the blame.

(And be damn proud of it)

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:37 | 3352593 Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

I'm right there with you, chunga, except I made my bank run long ago.  

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:54 | 3352696 chunga
chunga's picture

Anybody who hasn't figured it out by now should calmly walk to their TBTF and get their money.

Remember to act natural.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:44 | 3352641 a growing concern
a growing concern's picture

I think you're attributing foresight and cunning to what is most likely due to fucktardedness and hubris. Nothing a short fall with a quick stop won't fix.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:52 | 3352688 Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

The cause of the FUBAR was fucktardedness and hubris; the foresight and cunning is to keep themselves away from the noose.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:23 | 3352519 monopoly
monopoly's picture

And the people stand for this. No rioting, screaming, tearing down Parliament. They just shrug?. Strange.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:23 | 3352520 Honey Badger
Honey Badger's picture

Save the planet, hang a banker.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:39 | 3352612 Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

From a windmill.  Go green.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 15:37 | 3353612 20-20 Hindsight
20-20 Hindsight's picture

...or from the highest branch of a cypress -- just for an added twist of poetic justice.   

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:24 | 3352523 Yikes
Yikes's picture

After witnessing theft of deposits and then capital controls:

[EU & IMF to the people of Spain & Italy] " You have nothing to fear. The banking system is sound.  Who are going to believe, me or your lying eyes"



Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:25 | 3352526 Loukanika the r...
Loukanika the riot dog's picture


A grandmother, resident of Paphos in Cyrpus, had recently developed a habit: every Friday, she would go to a bank branch and withdraw all her savings. On Monday, she would bring it back.

After this happened on several weekends, the bank employees could not resist and asked the granny why she was doing that.

The granny told employees “My son is an economist in Russia and he has been telling me, if something happens with the Cypriot banks, it will happened on the weekend. He told me to withdraw the money every Friday.”

Granny’s answer caused a laughter among the bank employees.

Last Monday, it was the granny laughing with her 10,000 euro secured at home, having escaped a possible 6.75% bank deposit levy and all the stress as to if she would lose her money.

The bank employees are still in distress not knowing whether the banks will ever open again…

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:33 | 3352566 exi1ed0ne
exi1ed0ne's picture

Why keep money in the bank at all?  .05% interest is a pitiful draw for the risk of a good fucking by people who could give a shit if your kids starve.

Keep just enough to pay the bills.  Hide or trade the rest for guns, gold, grub, and grog.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:43 | 3352637 machineh
machineh's picture

if something happens with the Cypriot banks, it will happen on the weekend

Especially 3-day weekends.

This is true in all fiat currency countries (and there is no other kind).

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 16:16 | 3353811 Henry Chinaski
Henry Chinaski's picture

If you plan to do that in the US, go on Wednesday.  The bank will tell you they don't keep that much cash on hand unless you order it a couple of days in advance.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:27 | 3352529 fuu
fuu's picture

This is why I store my backyard hams in silver cans.

I feel bad for those British soldiers with cash on hand right now...

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:49 | 3352671 Alea Iactaest
Alea Iactaest's picture

You still think it was 'cash' on those planes? You probably think the Easter Bunny is coming in a couple of weeks.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:57 | 3352715 fuu
fuu's picture

An anagram of your handle is: I Lactate A Sea.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:43 | 3352534 ekm
ekm's picture

As far as I remember people must have money to buy stuff.


So are they going to loot the stores now for food ?

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:26 | 3352537 LeisureSmith
LeisureSmith's picture

Can people use their frozen money to buy stuff, say gold, food or maybe a classic car? If not, wont people start to get hungry soon?

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:29 | 3352545 Schmuck Raker
Schmuck Raker's picture

"Dear Depositor, please do not worry."

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:30 | 3352549 Martial
Martial's picture

April 1st is also a scheduled bank holiday...why not just make it the 2nd?

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:30 | 3352551 cherry picker
cherry picker's picture

I was thinking of opening a guarded storage facility where people can store cash and valuables.  Unlike a bank, the government nor anyone else except the depositor and people working at the facility would know who is storing what.  That is what banks were supposed to do, protect your coin.

A small fee would be charged for protection of valuables. 

A safe haven open 24/7.

Government officials, IRS, nothing like that would be allowed on the premises. 



Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:36 | 3352588 philosophers bone
philosophers bone's picture

You will be charged for acting as a "bank"/"trust company" without a licence which is against the "public interest".  And you won't have the "flexibility" of pledging and unilaterally subordinating your customers assets to your personal lenders the way that a bank can.  The public needs the protection that only a registered financial institution can provide. 

/sarc off

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:47 | 3352659 cherry picker
cherry picker's picture

Your comment illustrates what really happened to liberty and capitalism, doesn't it?

I realized this when I wrote my original comment.  We cannot do anything unless big bro approves, so we have to go underground don't we?  Yet going underground is not what free men should have to do to protect their assets.

This system is not what Jefferson and Franklin envisioned.  It is not what I was brought up believing in either.  This last few decades with traitors and beaurocrats at the helm are making it difficult for people like myself to exist, but we will and I hope things will chage.


Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:57 | 3352716 FeralSerf
FeralSerf's picture

The peoples' rights must be protected.  They're from The Government and they're there to help.


Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:37 | 3352594 exi1ed0ne
exi1ed0ne's picture

Until the local fuzz show up with a warrent and look for themselves:

There is no safe haven.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:37 | 3352601 ronaldawg
ronaldawg's picture

You will never get insurance.


Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:42 | 3352633 SmallerGovNow2
SmallerGovNow2's picture

if it ain't in your hand, you don't own it...

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:48 | 3352664 irie1029
irie1029's picture

Hmm I knew of a wine cellar like that.  Rented our sections to individuals with wrought iron gating and locks.  finger print and code entry.  Was pretty cool.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 14:55 | 3353389 Crash Overide
Crash Overide's picture

Hey Cherry, isn't the IRS a private company based in Puerto Rico?


Also can anyone provide me the federal law that states clearly where one is obligated to pay federal income taxes? I want to make sure I know before I do my Turbo Tax with Timmy.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:32 | 3352559 apberusdisvet
apberusdisvet's picture

O is just itching to impose martial law and declare himself king; must use those hollow point rounds and semitanks. What better excuse than a bank holiday.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:32 | 3352563 jubber
jubber's picture

FTSEMIB up over 300 points today in sympathy !

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:34 | 3352574 Van Halen
Van Halen's picture

Whoever is keeping the banks closed until Tuesday is a genius. By then, the people will have forgotten what happened. Maybe they can flood the Cypriot airwaves with music and images of Beyonce and the Kardashians and Cyprus' Got Talent just in case someone almost remembers...

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 13:23 | 3352868 Non Passaran
Non Passaran's picture

It's like a fucking siege, there's no money to be had except for whatever cash one can earn and what can be brought in cash from the abroad!

Time to start some serious Cyp-Riots!

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:35 | 3352575 cherry picker
cherry picker's picture

I resent government telling me how much cash I can carry.  If I want to pay cash for a car, legal tender they say, I have to submit a credit report.  "Why?" I asked.


"So they know where you got the money."  I was told.


I left the dealer and found one who would take cash.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:38 | 3352576 falak pema
falak pema's picture

that Cyprus Fin Min will NEVER leave Moscow, with or without a deal.

If he says "No" to their terms he goes with the fishes. If he says "yes", he can never return to Nicosia as he will be scalped by the locals or the MI6/Cia shills as traitor to the west.

Tuff job being caught between two rival MIC gangs with nothing in your pockets except underwater gas farts.

I'm sure the Nicosians want Cameron to send another airplane of cash as this is getting longer n longer...

Do they sell fish on credit in Nicosia?

As for despotic bank controls; when you have epsilon in your bank every iota counts! 

And, its not the fault of the EU that they hocked their future in RE and Greek bonds! Its a negative net worth economy now!

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:35 | 3352579 Van Halen
Van Halen's picture

I admit to some confusion... when your bank is closed for a week, how do you perform financial transactions or pay bills?

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:36 | 3352589 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

check this out from JPM then consider what is happening in Cyprus about "No one would expect the Singaporean Government to offer up a shilling in that event." or the Cypriot Government!!!!!!

from "expert" witness testimony to the UK Houses of Parliament here:

Q3706 Mark Garnier: My last question is looking at it the other way round. If you were, say, Singapore, and you were trying to expand your financial services activity, and you suddenly had HSBC knocking on the Foreign Secretary’s door saying, "We would like to move into Singapore and domicile ourselves there," given that HSBC is nearly 10 times the size of Singapore’s entire economy, is that the sort of thing that will put off a small country from allowing them to domicile there? Is there a negative effect?

Bill Winters: The effect of any large bank moving into a relatively small country is to make it perfectly clear that that bank has no underlying sovereign support. Forget about the intentions for a moment. That is not to say that the market would assume that the HSBC UK branch network would not be supported by Her Majesty’s Government in the event of a collapse of the group, or that the HSBC US operation, likewise, would not be supported in the US; I think the market would assume that they probably would be. Even large depositors in the UK would take some comfort from the fact that they are operating in a country with a sovereign that has a history of supporting its banks. No one would expect the Singaporean Government to offer up a shilling in that event. And HSBC have said over and over again that they organise their business in such a way that they will never need to rely on state support. They have never organised their business that way in any country-certainly not globally; which is why I think they have weathered these crises relatively well, despite having made some of the mistakes that everybody else made.

So the attraction to an HSBC of Singapore would have to be some combination of group-level regulation, taxation, some other cost of doing business, or an image that they would be creating in the minds of their customers and employees of being, in your example, a Singapore bank rather than a UK-based bank. I think it is pretty hard for a country like Singapore, or any other country on earth, to offer those kinds of advantages, because as soon as Singapore says, "The FSA is being super-equivalent, the PRA is being super-equivalent in terms of liquidity requirements, so we are going to be a little bit more relaxed so that we can bring HSBC into our economic zone," that would be the last thing in the world that HSBC would want to endorse.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:37 | 3352599 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

coming to a plantation near all debt based currency holders soon.................

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:37 | 3352603 Gringo Viejo
Gringo Viejo's picture

MSNBC is reporting that Governor Lepetomane will be in Cyprus handing out paddle balls prior to reopening.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 13:02 | 3352754 GrinandBearit
GrinandBearit's picture

Yup... toasters are way too expensive.

Don't forget the lollypops too. 

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:38 | 3352607 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture

Well the EU has definitely figured out how to switch Cyprus' economy from a thriving financial center.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:38 | 3352608 Quantitative_Ap...
Quantitative_Appeasing's picture

So they put in capital controls, did they consider that no one in their right mind is going to deposit any additional money at all EVER????


I forsee a couple of scenarios -


1. they limit cash withdrawls but not online payment transfers. -smart people take their paychecks "overseas" and pay for everything via the old account until it's sucked dry (and by that I mean go load up on groceries and anything else they can buy)


2. they limit both - business breaks down as people are unable to engage in commerce.


I'm not sure how Cyprus collects taxes  but if it's through direct deduction I could also see a refusal to pay hitting here as well.




Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:49 | 3352673 machineh
machineh's picture

Limiting overseas (outside Cyprus) transfers is the whole purpose.

Domestic exchanges among Cypriots are no problem, because it's 'all within the system.'

Like Argentina, Cyprus will have to put cash-sniffing dogs in the airport.

Argentina uses golden retrievers and labradors:

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:56 | 3352706 Quantitative_Ap...
Quantitative_Appeasing's picture

No I'm not saying transfers (from my existing bank account to another account outside the country)


I'm saying paychecks, checks etc that have not yet been deposited will only go outside the country.

No one is going to deposit checks or cash into a account that could lose some unknown X% at any time. If they try to force people to DEPOSIT those into local accounts (and limit cash WHILE cashing them) they will have a work stoppage and blood on their hands in no time.....






Wed, 03/20/2013 - 13:01 | 3352743 BullsNBeers
BullsNBeers's picture

Right. So where are they going to cash the paychecks and if they send the checks out of the country, what account will the money be drawn from?

These people are fucked. Plain and simple.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 13:42 | 3352958 Quantitative_Ap...
Quantitative_Appeasing's picture

Most likely while limiting cash withdrawls and personal transfers they will not limit business checks (at least initially). Reason being if they do, then commerce grinds to a complete halt. E.G. nothing shipped in or out of the country, no work takes place, GPD flat lines and so does tax collection.


Again, IMO if they try to limit check cashing to deposits only (and add the insanity of limited cash withdrawls on these checks) people will stop working and refuse to pay any sort of taxes.


No-one in their right mind is going to continue working with the potential of losing 10% of their paycheck on a whim.


You'll see private check cashing firms/offers, followed by demands to be paid in currency only.

Once paid in currency, good luck seeing any tax revenue....






Wed, 03/20/2013 - 13:03 | 3352759 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture

You'll probably see check cashing places pop up if they are not already there.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 13:21 | 3352856 BullsNBeers
BullsNBeers's picture

Yes but if you work for me and I issue you a check, it needs to be cleared by the bank that holds my payroll funds. This bank will be closed too.


Wed, 03/20/2013 - 13:31 | 3352874 Z'
Z&#039;'s picture

Looks like the ministry is one of the first to act on this instinct to move paycheck deposits out of Cyprus.  From ZH, quoting WSJ:

He said the ministry was "proactively approaching personnel to ask if they want their March and future months' salaries paid into U.K. bank accounts, rather than Cypriot accounts."


The officials said such planning shouldn't be a surprise.

Guvvy look out for their own.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 13:46 | 3352983 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

the money to pay salaries comes from the companies bank account

andddddd its gone

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 13:21 | 3352861 smacker
smacker's picture

Dogs trained to sniff coke eh? ;-)

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 13:22 | 3352863 smacker
smacker's picture

Dogs trained to sniff coke eh? ;-)

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 13:25 | 3352871 smacker
smacker's picture

Dogs trained to sniff coke eh? ;-)

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:39 | 3352613 squid virtuous
squid virtuous's picture

cue Cyprus bath salt zombies eating each other!

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:41 | 3352626 ISEEIT
ISEEIT's picture

Still long for a pop to 1.3053.

Been watching this far to long. Let the shorts pile on but this shit isn't accidental. These fuckers are evil, not stupid. The band will still play for quite some time.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:43 | 3352634 philosophers bone
philosophers bone's picture

So they bought another week.  They'll have to buying more time.  They CANNOT reopen, unless they simply let people walk through the building and have all of the tellers call in sick and the bank manager wearing body armour.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 12:52 | 3352687 machineh
machineh's picture

Banco Medifornia .. you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.

Wed, 03/20/2013 - 13:43 | 3352960 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

put cash in any time you like, you just can't get it out

anddddddd....its gone


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